{"id":10012,"date":"2015-12-04T16:58:28","date_gmt":"2015-12-04T12:58:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=10012"},"modified":"2015-12-05T22:20:58","modified_gmt":"2015-12-05T18:20:58","slug":"akif-abbasov-bu-ocaq-sonubs%c9%99-tustusu-qalib","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=10012","title":{"rendered":"Akif ABBASOV – Bu ocaq s\u00f6n\u00fcbs\u0259 t\u00fcst\u00fcs\u00fc qal\u0131b"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

(\u201cAldanma s\u00f6zl\u0259r\u0259\u201d roman\u0131ndan)<\/p>\n

G\u00f6r ne\u00e7\u0259 n\u0259\u011fm\u0259nin b\u0259st\u0259si qal\u0131b
\nBu ocaq s\u00f6n\u00fcbs\u0259 t\u00fcst\u00fcs\u00fc qal\u0131b
\n\u018flind\u0259, \u0259limin istisi qal\u0131b.
\nBa\u015fqa birisini sev\u0259 bilm\u0259zs\u0259n.
\n(N. K\u0259s\u0259m\u0259nli)<\/p>\n

Qara \u00e7\u0259r\u00e7iv\u0259li \u015f\u0259kli g\u00f6r\u0259n g\u00fcn \u018fziz\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7\u00f6l\u0259 nec\u0259 atd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hiss etm\u0259di. Q\u0259h\u0259r onu bo\u011fur, \u00fcr\u0259yi h\u0259y\u0259can\u0131ndan, \u00e7\u0259kdiyi iztirabdan az qal\u0131rd\u0131 sin\u0259sind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xs\u0131n. O, a\u011f\u0131r z\u0259rb\u0259 alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bir yandan \u0259ziz bir adam\u0131n\u0131 itirmi\u015fdi, dig\u0259r t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n arzular\u0131n\u0131n, h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131n m\u0259nas\u0131, tac\u0131 sand\u0131\u011f\u0131 adam\u0131n evli v\u0259 q\u0131z atas\u0131 olmas\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fitm\u0259si onu sars\u0131tm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u018fziz\u0259 h\u0259m yasa batm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 \u2013 “O” daha h\u0259yatda yox idi, olmayacaqd\u0131. Q\u0131z h\u0259m d\u0259 aldand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Bird\u0259n-bir\u0259 iki z\u0259rb\u0259! G\u0259nc, t\u0259cr\u00fcb\u0259siz q\u0131z olasan, bel\u0259 z\u0259rb\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 nec\u0259 tabla\u015fasan?!
\nG\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131 sin\u0259sin\u0259 t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u0259-t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u0259 ah-vay edir, \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc: \u201cAx\u0131 insanlar niy\u0259 bel\u0259dirl\u0259r? N\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bir-birl\u0259rini aldad\u0131rlar? Niy\u0259 bir-birl\u0259rin\u0259 \u0259zab, i\u015fg\u0259nc\u0259 verm\u0259kd\u0259n z\u00f6vq al\u0131rlar?! Bel\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259l ail\u0259si, yara\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 xan\u0131m\u0131, topda\u011f\u0131tmaz evi, \u015f\u0259raiti, g\u00fcl balas\u0131 ola-ola laz\u0131m idimi \u018fziz\u0259ni d\u0259 ba\u015fdan el\u0259sin? Aman Allah, m\u0259ni e\u015fqin\u0259 inand\u0131rmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n n\u0259l\u0259r, n\u0259l\u0259r uydururdu. \u018fll\u0259rimi \u0259ll\u0259rinin i\u00e7\u0259risin\u0259 al\u0131b g\u00f6zl\u0259rim\u0259 el\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131 ki, s\u00f6zl\u0259rinin s\u0259mimiliyin\u0259 \u015f\u0259kk-\u015f\u00fcbh\u0259 qalm\u0131rd\u0131.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 b\u0259z\u0259n g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f yerin\u0259 bir q\u0259d\u0259r gec g\u0259l\u0259r, uzaqdan ona g\u00f6z qoyard\u0131. D\u0259qiq\u0259l\u0259r \u00f6td\u00fckc\u0259, “O” b\u0259rk h\u0259y\u0259can ke\u00e7ir\u0259r, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 yer tapmazd\u0131. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259qiq\u0259nin \u0259rzind\u0259 b\u0259lk\u0259 otuz-q\u0131rx d\u0259f\u0259 saat\u0131na baxard\u0131. \u201cO\u201d yaman q\u0131sqanc idi. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 fontanlar meydan\u0131ndak\u0131 skamyada \u0259yl\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdil\u0259r. G\u00f6z\u0259l yaz g\u00fcnl\u0259rinin biri idi. T\u0259bi\u0259t \u00f6z donunu \u0259ynin\u0259 taxm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Meydanda kimisi g\u0259zi\u015fir, kimisi dayan\u0131b s\u00f6hb\u0259t edir, kimisi d\u0259 oturacaqda \u0259yl\u0259\u015fib \u0259traf\u0131 g\u00f6zd\u0259n ke\u00e7irirdi. Bir az aral\u0131da balaca u\u015faqlar ma\u015f\u0131n s\u00fcr\u00fcr, at\u0131l\u0131b-d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr, qa\u00e7\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131lar. Bir qad\u0131n da \u00f6z\u00fc il\u0259 g\u0259tirdiyi bankan\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131b u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yedizdirirdi. Bayaqdan bu m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259y\u0259 g\u00f6z qoyan \u018fziz\u0259:
\n– Dondurma ist\u0259yir\u0259m, – dedi.
\n\u201cO\u201d s\u0259sind\u0259 qay\u011f\u0131:
\n– H\u0259l\u0259 tez deyil? \u2013 dey\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259r ald\u0131.
\nArada \u018fziz\u0259 bo\u011faz\u0131ndan \u015fikay\u0259tl\u0259nirdi. \u0130\u00e7\u0259rid\u0259n bo\u011faz\u0131nda q\u0131zart\u0131lar yaran\u0131r, bu da q\u0131zd\u0131rma verirdi. \u018fziz\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 inamla:
\n– Yox, narahat olma. Soyuq havalarda a\u011fr\u0131y\u0131r, – dedi.
\n\u201cO\u201d, zarafatla:
\n– Alma\u011f\u0131na alaram, amma sonra m\u0259nd\u0259 g\u00fcnah g\u00f6rm\u0259 ha! – dey\u0259 barma\u011f\u0131n\u0131 silk\u0259l\u0259yib aya\u011fa qalxd\u0131.
\nDondurma sat\u0131lan k\u00f6\u015fk\u00fcn qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda n\u00f6vb\u0259 yarand\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan \u201cO\u201d, bir q\u0259d\u0259r g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259li oldu. Az ke\u00e7mi\u015f h\u00fcnd\u00fcr boylu, qara\u015f\u0131n bir g\u0259nc \u018fziz\u0259nin t\u0259k oldu\u011funu g\u00fcman edib oturaca\u011fa yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131, o\u011frun-o\u011frun ona baxma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131. Sonra ir\u0259li yeriyib \u015fit-\u015fit iri\u015f\u0259r\u0259k:
\n– G\u00f6z\u0259l q\u0131z, olar yan\u0131nda \u0259yl\u0259\u015fim ? \u2013 dey\u0259 soru\u015fdu.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 cavab verm\u0259yib \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc yana \u00e7evirdi. Onun dinm\u0259diyini g\u00f6r\u0259n o\u011flan oturmaq ist\u0259di. \u018fziz\u0259 c\u0259ld \u0259lini skamyan\u0131n oturaca\u011f\u0131na qoydu:
\n– Z\u0259hm\u0259t \u00e7\u0259km\u0259, buran\u0131n yiy\u0259si var\u2026
\nO\u011flan geri dursa da aralanmad\u0131. G\u00f6zl\u0259rini q\u0131za zill\u0259yib h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tsiz qald\u0131. \u018flind\u0259 iki dondurma geri qay\u0131dan v\u0259 bu m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259ni g\u00f6r\u0259n “O\u201c, o\u011flana \u00e7at\u0131b:
\n– Qaqa\u015f, dey\u0259s\u0259n adam-insan g\u00f6rm\u0259mis\u0259n?! \u2013 dey\u0259 ona t\u0259pindi. -Yolunla d\u00fcz ged\u0259 bilmirs\u0259n? N\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rini b\u0259r\u0259ldib durmusan?
\nO\u011flan da qaba\u011f\u0131ndan yey\u0259n deyildi. Odur ki, xoruzland\u0131:
\n– Burada dayanmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn s\u0259nd\u0259n icaz\u0259 almaq laz\u0131md\u0131r? Ba\u011f\u0131\u015fla, bilm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m, – dey\u0259 onu \u0259l\u0259 sal\u0131b \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7evirdi v\u0259 yerind\u0259n t\u0259rp\u0259nm\u0259di.
\n\u201cO\u201d, b\u0259rk q\u0259z\u0259bl\u0259ndi:
\n– M\u0259n el\u0259 bilirdim s\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fmaq bilmirs\u0259n. Dem\u0259, dilin varm\u0131\u015f. Dilin h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259sin dey\u0259, \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259 a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 yummaq laz\u0131md\u0131r. \u00c7\u00fcnki\u2026 dilin ba\u015f\u0131na b\u0259lad\u0131r, – deyib \u0259lind\u0259ki dondurmalar\u0131 onun a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n vurdu v\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259di.
\nQ\u0259fil z\u0259rb\u0259d\u0259n v\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259td\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc itirmi\u015f g\u0259nc \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259lib yumru\u011funu qald\u0131rd\u0131. \u018fziz\u0259 qorxu v\u0259 h\u0259y\u0259can i\u00e7\u0259risind\u0259 aya\u011fa s\u0131\u00e7rad\u0131. \u201cO\u201d, o\u011flan\u0131n yumru\u011funu havada z\u0259r\u0259rsizl\u0259\u015fdirib qolunu \u0259lin\u0259 ke\u00e7irdi v\u0259 burdu. \u00c7\u0131\u011f\u0131rt\u0131 e\u015fidildi. G\u0259nc aman dil\u0259yirdi. \u201cO\u201d, g\u0259ncin qolunu burax\u0131b ac\u0131qla:
\n– \u0130ndi ged\u0259 bil\u0259rs\u0259n! \u2013 dedi.
\nO\u011flan c\u0259ld uzaqla\u015fd\u0131. \u018fziz\u0259 \u201cO\u201dna yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131b qolundun tutdu, m\u0259z\u0259mm\u0259tl\u0259:
\n– M\u0259n bel\u0259 dem\u0259dim ki\u2026
\n\u201cO\u201d \u00e7\u0131l\u011f\u0131nl\u0131q etdiyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 sanki utand\u0131 v\u0259 dinm\u0259di. Lakin bu, bir anl\u0131\u011fa ba\u015f verdi. Sonra \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 inamla:
\n– Yerini bilm\u0259y\u0259n\u0259 \u00f6z yerini g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259k laz\u0131md\u0131r \u2026 N\u0259 is\u0259, l\u0259n\u0259t \u015feytana. Ged\u0259k . Dondurman\u0131 bulvarda yey\u0259rik, – dedi.
\nXatir\u0259l\u0259r yada d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fckc\u0259, \u018fziz\u0259 daha da k\u00f6vr\u0259lirdi, q\u0259z\u0259bli q\u00fcss\u0259 v\u0259 t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf hissi (\u201cO\u201dnun cavan can\u0131 torpa\u011fa g\u00f6m\u00fclm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc) bir-birin\u0259 qar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Q\u0131z kiray\u0259 qald\u0131\u011f\u0131 ev\u0259 gedib ac-susuz \u00e7arpay\u0131s\u0131na uzand\u0131. Yast\u0131\u011f\u0131 qucaqlay\u0131b h\u00f6nk\u00fcrd\u00fc. Ac olsa da yem\u0259k yad\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259di. Bir d\u0259 yediyini yemi\u015fdi: iki z\u0259rb\u0259, \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 biri dig\u0259rind\u0259n a\u011f\u0131r, iztirabl\u0131 v\u0259 unudulmas\u0131 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olmayan! Xuraman da iki z\u0259rb\u0259 alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 ert\u0259si g\u00fcn yuxudan h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259kind\u0259n xeyli gec oyand\u0131. Pis yatm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Qarmaqar\u0131\u015f\u0131q yuxular g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcnd\u0259n tez-tez s\u0259ks\u0259k\u0259 i\u00e7\u0259risind\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rini a\u00e7m\u0131\u015f, bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t yata bilm\u0259mi\u015fdi. Bu hal bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 t\u0259krar olunmu\u015fdu. Yuxuda gah g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fc ki, onun \u2013 \u018fziz\u0259nin c\u0259naz\u0259sini q\u0259biristanl\u0131\u011fa apar\u0131rlar. \u201cO\u201d, yan\u0131nda da Xuramanla Arzu adamlara qar\u0131\u015f\u0131b a\u011flaya-a\u011flaya c\u0259naz\u0259nin ard\u0131nca gedir, \u018fziz\u0259ni son m\u0259nzil\u0259 yola sal\u0131r. \u201cO\u201dnun g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n t\u00fck\u0259nm\u0259k bilm\u0259diyini g\u00f6r\u0259n \u018fziz\u0259 ist\u0259yir desin: \u201c\u018fzizim, s\u0259n a\u011flama, m\u0259n \u00f6lm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m!\u00bb Amma n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rsa, s\u0259si \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131r, \u201cO\u201d \u018fziz\u0259ni e\u015fitmir, g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 ax\u0131tmaqda davam edir. Xuraman \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc \u201cO\u201dna tutub: \u201cBu m\u0259rhum\u0259 s\u0259nin n\u0259yindir? Bizi d\u0259 vida yerin\u0259 g\u0259tirmis\u0259n. \u00d6z\u00fcn d\u0259 a\u011flamaqdan usanm\u0131rsan?\u201d
\n\u201cO\u201d cavab verir: \u201c\u0130nsand\u0131r, yax\u015f\u0131 insan indi m\u0259rhum\u0259. Bu, b\u0259s deyil?\u201d
\n\u018fziz\u0259 ist\u0259yir \u201cO\u201dndan soru\u015fsun: yan\u0131ndak\u0131 qad\u0131nla u\u015faq kimdir? Niy\u0259 onlar haqq\u0131nda m\u0259n\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmam\u0131san? Ancaq s\u0259sini e\u015fid\u0259n olmur. Qanadl\u0131 bir m\u0259l\u0259k \u0259traf\u0131nda dolan\u0131r, q\u0259h-q\u0259h\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kir: \u201cS\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fa bilm\u0259zs\u0259n, s\u0259nin can\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7oxdan alm\u0131\u015fam. Fikirl\u0259\u015f\u0259n, \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 s\u00f6yl\u0259n\u0259n s\u0259nin ruhundur. Ruhun soru\u015fur: \u201cM\u0259nim cavan can\u0131m\u0131 niy\u0259 ald\u0131n? M\u0259n kim\u0259 yamanl\u0131q etmi\u015fdim, n\u0259 idi g\u00fcnah\u0131m, niy\u0259 anam\u0131 a\u011flar qoydun?\u201d
\n-S\u0259n bir ail\u0259nin xo\u015fb\u0259xtliyin\u0259 \u015f\u0259rik \u00e7\u0131xmaq ist\u0259yirdin, balaca q\u0131z\u0131 atas\u0131z, o qad\u0131n\u0131 \u0259rsiz qoymaq ist\u0259yirdin?
\n– M\u0259n “O\u201cnun evli oldu\u011funu bilmirdim, bilmirdim.
\n– Ancaq bilm\u0259liydin. Qad\u0131n\u0131n hissiyyat\u0131 g\u00fccl\u00fc olur. X\u0259b\u0259r tutanda iztirab \u00e7\u0259k\u0259c\u0259kdin, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdin. Allah-taala intihar\u0131 xo\u015flam\u0131r. \u00d6z\u00fc verdiyi, can\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fc al\u0131r. B\u0259nd\u0259nin n\u0259 ixtiyar\u0131 var ki, Allah ver\u0259n can\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fc als\u0131n. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 buyurdu ki, s\u0259ni iztirabdan, sars\u0131nt\u0131dan, yaz\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f qanunu pozmaqdan azad edim. S\u0259n indi haqq\u0131n d\u0259rgah\u0131na p\u0259nah aparacaqsan. Bakir\u0259 \u00f6ld\u00fcy\u00fcn \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn xo\u015fb\u0259xts\u0259n.
\nQanadl\u0131 m\u0259l\u0259k q\u0259h-q\u0259h\u0259 \u00e7\u0259k\u0259r\u0259k qeyb oldu. \u018fziz\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fc ki, q\u0259biristanl\u0131\u011fa yeti\u015fib. “O\u201cndan, Xuraman v\u0259 Arzudan ba\u015fqa ham\u0131 gedib.
\n“O\u201c, \u0259lin\u0259 bel al\u0131b, onun\u00e7un q\u0259bir qaz\u0131r, yorulanda Xuraman, o da \u0259ld\u0259n d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 Arzu q\u0259biri qazmaqda davam edir. K\u00f6m\u0259kl\u0259\u015fib onu m\u0259zara qoyub \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc torpaqlay\u0131rlar. Bayaqdan g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 sel kimi ax\u0131dan “O\u201c a\u011flama\u011f\u0131n\u0131 k\u0259sir:
\n-Daha, qurtard\u0131. \u0130ndi sevinin. X\u0259ta-b\u0259ladan azad olduq. Ail\u0259mizin xo\u015fb\u0259xtliyini \u0259limizd\u0259n almaq ist\u0259y\u0259n \u018fziz\u0259 daha yoxdur.
\nOnlar q\u0259h-q\u0259h\u0259 \u00e7\u0259k\u0259r\u0259k, r\u0259qs etm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flayanda, \u018fziz\u0259 b\u00fct\u00fcn q\u00fcvv\u0259sini toplay\u0131b \u0259ll\u0259ri, ayaqlar\u0131 il\u0259 g\u00fcc vurub yerin alt\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r.
\n“O\u201c, Xuraman v\u0259 Arzu r\u0259qsl\u0259rini saxlay\u0131r v\u0259 sonsuz k\u0259d\u0259rl\u0259 ona bax\u0131rlar.
\nBu yerd\u0259 \u018fziz\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131raraq, yataqdan qalxd\u0131. S\u0259s\u0259 ev yiy\u0259si \u2013 Nabat xala h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b onun qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6ym\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131:
\n– \u018fziz\u0259, q\u0131z\u0131m, n\u0259 olub? A\u00e7 qap\u0131n\u0131!
\n\u018fziz\u0259 durub qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131.
\n– Ay bala, ay q\u0131z\u0131m, n\u0259dir? Yuxu g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcn?
\nQ\u0131z\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259-s\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin h\u0259d\u0259q\u0259sind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcb ac\u0131 t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf hissil\u0259:
\n– Qorxmusan dey\u0259s\u0259n? \u2013 dedi v\u0259 tez \u00fcz\u0259rrik yand\u0131r\u0131b \u00fc\u00e7 d\u0259f\u0259 onun ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n h\u0259rl\u0259di. -T\u0259klik bel\u0259dir, ay q\u0131z\u0131m. Atan-anan uzaqda, s\u0259n d\u0259 q\u0131z u\u015fa\u011f\u0131. Dar\u0131x\u0131rsan\u2026 \u0130st\u0259y\u0259nin varsa, get \u0259r\u0259. Qabaq dey\u0259rdil\u0259r, \u201cQ\u0131z qald\u0131qca, q\u0131z\u0131la d\u00f6n\u00fcr\u201d. \u0130ndi, ay bala, t\u0259rsin\u0259dir, q\u0131z qald\u0131qca, d\u0259rd-s\u0259ri art\u0131r. O\u011flanlar\u0131m\u0131z s\u0259p\u0259l\u0259nibl\u0259r d\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u00f6lk\u0259l\u0259rin\u0259, \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k pulu qazan\u0131rlar, ba\u015fqa mill\u0259tin q\u0131zlar\u0131n\u0131 al\u0131rlar. \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcnk\u00fcl\u0259r d\u0259 burada qal\u0131b qar\u0131y\u0131rlar\u2026
\n\u018fziz\u0259 bir t\u0259h\u0259r \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u0259l\u0259 al\u0131b:
\n– Nabat xala, siz narahat olmay\u0131n, -dedi. -Qar\u0131\u015f\u0131q yuxu g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcm. Ondand\u0131r. Siz\u0259 \u0259ziyy\u0259t verdim gec\u0259nin bu vaxt\u0131. Siz Allah, gedib dinc\u0259lin. Ke\u00e7di, getdi\u2026
\nNabat xala \u00e7\u0259kilib getdi. \u018fziz\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259k sakitl\u0259\u015fdirici d\u0259rman i\u00e7ib yerin\u0259 girdi. Bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t g\u00f6zl\u0259rini tavana zill\u0259di. N\u0259hay\u0259t, ha\u00e7ansa g\u00f6z qapaqlar\u0131 yumuldu. Bu d\u0259f\u0259 Arzu g\u0259ldi yuxusuna:
\n-S\u0259nd\u0259n incimi\u015f\u0259m, m\u00fc\u0259llim\u0259. M\u0259n s\u0259ni \u00e7ox sevirdim. Evd\u0259 olanda dar\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131m s\u0259ni g\u00f6rm\u0259k\u00e7in. Amma s\u0259n m\u0259nim sevgimi qiym\u0259tl\u0259ndir\u0259 bilm\u0259din. Atam\u0131 \u0259limd\u0259n almaq ist\u0259din. M\u0259n daha s\u0259nin qrupuna g\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m.
\n-Q\u0131z\u0131m, m\u0259ni ba\u011f\u0131\u015fla, bilm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m, bilm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m, ba\u011f\u0131\u015fla m\u0259ni\u2026 T\u0259kc\u0259 s\u0259n m\u0259nd\u0259n k\u00fcsm\u0259\u2026
\nArzu \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc d\u00f6nd\u0259rib getmi\u015fdi.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rini a\u00e7d\u0131. Art\u0131q saat 10-a i\u015fl\u0259yirdi\u2026 O, ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc ki, bundan bel\u0259 u\u015faq ba\u011f\u00e7as\u0131nda i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k, \u00fcst\u0259lik Bak\u0131da ya\u015faya bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k. \u201cO\u201dnun yadigar\u0131n\u0131n – Arzunun g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin i\u00e7\u0259risin\u0259 nec\u0259 baxacaqd\u0131? Buras\u0131 m\u0259lumdur ki, d\u00fcz baxa bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k, h\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 q\u0259lb a\u011fr\u0131d\u0131c\u0131 bir fikir ondan \u0259l \u00e7\u0259km\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi: \u201cM\u0259n onun atas\u0131n\u0131n sevgilisi olmu\u015fam, atas\u0131n\u0131n anas\u0131na olan sevgisini yar\u0131ya b\u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 evin\u0259, ail\u0259sin\u0259, u\u015fa\u011f\u0131na olan m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259tini soyutmu\u015fam\u201d.
\n\u0130nstitutu bitir\u0259nd\u0259 rayona getm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi. Anas\u0131 da deyirdi ki: q\u0131z u\u015fa\u011f\u0131san, t\u0259k-t\u0259nha n\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n orada?!. B\u0259sdir bir qar\u0131n ac, bir qar\u0131n tox ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n, kiray\u0259d\u0259 oldu\u011fun\u2026 G\u0259l, burada i\u015f tap\u0131lar s\u0259nin\u00e7in\u201d. Ancaq \u201cO\u201dna olan sevgisi \u018fziz\u0259ni Bak\u0131da qalma\u011fa m\u0259cbur etdi. Gec-tez buraya qay\u0131tmal\u0131 idi. \u201cO\u201dnun fikri q\u0259ti idi. Tezlikl\u0259 el\u00e7i g\u00f6nd\u0259r\u0259c\u0259kdi. \u018fziz\u0259 anas\u0131na bu sirri a\u00e7d\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan o da qohum-\u0259qr\u0259baya dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.
\n\u0130ndi anas\u0131na n\u0259 dey\u0259c\u0259k? H\u00f6km\u0259n deyil ki, \u201cqara \u00e7\u0259r\u00e7iv\u0259li \u015f\u0259kil\u201d \u0259hvalat\u0131n\u0131 dan\u0131\u015fs\u0131n. Dey\u0259r ki, \u201cO\u201d d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fib. V\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f yolu tapd\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn sakitl\u0259\u015fdi. Bir st\u0259kan \u00e7ay i\u00e7ib, \u015f\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259raras\u0131 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131q m\u0259nt\u0259q\u0259sin\u0259 getdi. Anas\u0131n\u0131n s\u0259sini e\u015fitdi: \u201cO\u201d art\u0131q h\u0259yatda yoxdur, daha Bak\u0131da qalmaq ist\u0259mir\u0259m, g\u0259lir\u0259m rayona!\u201d
\nAnas\u0131 ba\u015f vermi\u015f hadis\u0259d\u0259n k\u0259d\u0259rl\u0259ndi v\u0259 bildirdi ki, q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n fikrini b\u0259y\u0259nir.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131q m\u0259nt\u0259q\u0259sind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b u\u015faq ba\u011f\u00e7a\u00e7\u0131na yolland\u0131. Badam xan\u0131mla s\u00f6hb\u0259t etdi.
\nBadam xan\u0131m stolun arxas\u0131nda \u0259yl\u0259\u015fib n\u0259s\u0259 yaz\u0131r v\u0259 eyni zamanda \u018fziz\u0259ni dinl\u0259yirdi. Q\u0131z\u0131n s\u00f6zl\u0259rini e\u015fidib q\u0259l\u0259mi yer\u0259 qoydu. Qulaqlar\u0131na inanm\u0131rm\u0131\u015f kimi t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259 ona baxd\u0131: \u201cBird\u0259n-bir\u0259 bu q\u0131za n\u0259 oldu?\u201d Sonra mehribancas\u0131na dedi:
\n– N\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rsan, \u018fziz\u0259?! Yoxsa bizd\u0259n incikliyin var? S\u0259ni bilmir\u0259m, amma biz s\u0259nd\u0259n yerd\u0259n g\u00f6y\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r raz\u0131y\u0131q\u2026
\n\u018fziz\u0259nin dinm\u0259diyini, tutulub durdu\u011funu g\u00f6r\u00fcb s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 davam etdi:
\n– Bir \u00e7\u0259tinliyin yoxdur ki? Utanma de. M\u0259n d\u0259 s\u0259nin b\u00f6y\u00fck bac\u0131n. B\u0259lk\u0259 dolana bilmirs\u0259n?
\n– Yox, yox \u2026
\nBadam xan\u0131m t\u0259kid etdi:
\n– B\u0259s s\u0259b\u0259b n\u0259dir?
\n\u018fziz\u0259 \u0259sl h\u0259qiq\u0259ti dey\u0259 bilm\u0259zdi. Bunu he\u00e7 kim\u0259 a\u00e7mayacaqd\u0131, h\u0259tta anas\u0131na da. \u00d6z\u00fc il\u0259 q\u0259bir\u0259 aparacaqd\u0131.
\nBadam xan\u0131m s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 davam etdi:
\n– X\u0259b\u0259rim var, kiray\u0259d\u0259 qal\u0131rsan\u2026 M\u0259n s\u0259nin kimi i\u015f\u00e7ini itirm\u0259k ist\u0259mir\u0259m. A\u011f\u0131ll\u0131 q\u0131zsan, m\u0259suliyy\u0259tlis\u0259n, yax\u015f\u0131 t\u0259rbiy\u0259\u00e7is\u0259n. O\u011flumun ad\u0131na bir otaql\u0131 m\u0259nzil alm\u0131\u015f\u0131q. \u0130n\u015fallah, evl\u0259n\u0259nd\u0259 k\u00f6\u00e7\u0259c\u0259k. Amma o vaxta xeyli var. M\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 oxuyur. \u0130st\u0259yirs\u0259n, k\u00f6\u00e7, ya\u015fa. S\u0259n\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259k olar.
\nBadam xan\u0131m\u0131n qay\u011f\u0131ke\u015fliyi v\u0259 xeyirxahl\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u018fziz\u0259ni riqq\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259tirdi. Q\u0131z\u0131n g\u00f6zl\u0259ri ya\u015fard\u0131:
\n-\u00c7ox sa\u011f olun, Badam xan\u0131m. Bir Allah bilir ki, m\u0259n sizin x\u0259trinizi n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r ist\u0259yir\u0259m. Sizd\u0259n yerd\u0259n g\u00f6y\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r raz\u0131yam. Kollektivimiz d\u0259 mehriband\u0131r. He\u00e7 kimd\u0259n naraz\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131m yoxdur. M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 buras\u0131ndad\u0131r ki, anam ist\u0259yir rayona qay\u0131d\u0131m. T\u0259kdir, k\u00f6m\u0259yi yoxdur. Art\u0131q ya\u015fa dolub.
\n– Anan\u0131 da g\u0259tir\u0259rs\u0259n yan\u0131na\u2026
\nBadam xan\u0131m \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f yolu tapd\u0131\u011f\u0131na sanki sevindi.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 raz\u0131la\u015fmad\u0131:
\n– \u00c7ox \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcb-bi\u00e7mi\u015f\u0259m. Getm\u0259yim m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tdir.
\nBadam xan\u0131m ir\u0259li yeriyib onu qucaqlad\u0131. Onun da g\u00f6zl\u0259ri ya\u015farm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130ndi daha y\u0259qinlikl\u0259 ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc ki, \u018fziz\u0259y\u0259 bu ne\u00e7\u0259 ild\u0259 \u00e7ox ba\u011flan\u0131b, onun yoxlu\u011funu da hiss ed\u0259c\u0259k. \u00c7ar-na\u00e7ar:
\n– Yax\u015f\u0131, bac\u0131m. Fikrin q\u0259tidirs\u0259, etiraz\u0131m yoxdur. \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, ananla bir yerd\u0259 olma\u011f\u0131n m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tdir. Allah he\u00e7 kims\u0259ni anadan ayr\u0131 salmas\u0131n \u2026 Xo\u015fb\u0259xt olasan, bac\u0131m!
\n\u018fziz\u0259 Nabat xala il\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb rayona yola d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc.
\n(ard\u0131 var)<\/p>\n

Yaz\u0131ya 865 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 (\u201cAldanma s\u00f6zl\u0259r\u0259\u201d roman\u0131ndan) G\u00f6r ne\u00e7\u0259 n\u0259\u011fm\u0259nin b\u0259st\u0259si qal\u0131b Bu ocaq s\u00f6n\u00fcbs\u0259 t\u00fcst\u00fcs\u00fc qal\u0131b \u018flind\u0259, \u0259limin istisi qal\u0131b. Ba\u015fqa birisini sev\u0259 bilm\u0259zs\u0259n. (N. K\u0259s\u0259m\u0259nli) Qara \u00e7\u0259r\u00e7iv\u0259li \u015f\u0259kli g\u00f6r\u0259n g\u00fcn \u018fziz\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7\u00f6l\u0259 nec\u0259 atd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hiss etm\u0259di. Q\u0259h\u0259r onu bo\u011fur, \u00fcr\u0259yi h\u0259y\u0259can\u0131ndan, \u00e7\u0259kdiyi iztirabdan az qal\u0131rd\u0131 sin\u0259sind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xs\u0131n. O, a\u011f\u0131r z\u0259rb\u0259 alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bir yandan \u0259ziz bir […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8616,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[15],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10012"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10012"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10012\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10036,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10012\/revisions\/10036"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8616"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10012"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10012"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10012"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}