{"id":10173,"date":"2016-01-20T23:02:42","date_gmt":"2016-01-20T19:02:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=10173"},"modified":"2016-01-20T23:02:42","modified_gmt":"2016-01-20T19:02:42","slug":"akif-abbasov-adilxanin-%c9%99ziz%c9%99-sevgisi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=10173","title":{"rendered":"Akif ABBASOV – AD\u0130LXANIN \u018fZ\u0130Z\u018f SEVG\u0130S\u0130…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"AK\u0130F<\/a>(\u201cAldanma s\u00f6zl\u0259r\u0259\u201d roman\u0131ndan)<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

H\u0259t\u0259m ki\u015fi arvad\u0131n\u0131n qaras\u0131nca as\u0131b-k\u0259s\u0259n d\u0259m \u018fziz\u0259 direktorun ota\u011f\u0131na daxil oldu. Direktor \u018fhm\u0259dli pedaqoji i\u015fi sev\u0259n idi. Maarif yolunda candan des\u0259n, ke\u00e7\u0259rdi. Bu \u0259ld\u0259n-ayaqdan uzaq k\u0259nd m\u0259kt\u0259bind\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259r aras\u0131nda dedi-qodu ba\u015flayanda, \u015fikay\u0259t m\u0259ktublar\u0131 m\u00fcxt\u0259lif t\u0259\u015fkilatlara \u00fcz tutanda \u018fhm\u0259dli rayon m\u0259rk\u0259zind\u0259ki m\u0259kt\u0259bl\u0259rin hans\u0131ndasa d\u0259rs hiss\u0259 m\u00fcdiri v\u0259zif\u0259sind\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. T\u0259l\u0259bkard\u0131. G\u00fcnd\u0259liksiz bir m\u00fc\u0259llim bel\u0259 d\u0259rs\u0259 buraxmazd\u0131. Dey\u0259rdi: \u00ab\u0130ntizam\u0131, qayda-qanunu \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259 g\u0259r\u0259k t\u0259rbiy\u0259\u00e7i g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259, sonra \u015fagirdd\u0259n t\u0259l\u0259b ed\u0259\u00bb.<\/strong><\/em>
\n– Maarif m\u00fc\u0259llim, olar?
\n\u018fhm\u0259dli \u018fziz\u0259ni g\u00f6r\u0259n kimi aya\u011fa qalxd\u0131. G\u00fcl\u0259r\u00fczl\u0259:
\n– Buyur, q\u0131z\u0131m. \u018fyl\u0259\u015f.
\nMaarif m\u00fc\u0259llim \u018fziz\u0259nin \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdiyini g\u00f6r\u00fcb \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 yerini tutdu:
\n– Bilirs\u0259n, s\u0259ni niy\u0259 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rm\u0131\u015fam?.. \u0130\u015fg\u00fczarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n xo\u015fuma g\u0259lir. M\u00fc\u0259llim \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc, h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 u\u015faqlara h\u0259sr etm\u0259yi \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 borc bilm\u0259lidir. Bunsuz m\u0259kt\u0259b i\u015fi m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyil. Bu yan\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u0259nd\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m. Amma cand\u0259rdi m\u00fc\u0259llimlik el\u0259y\u0259nl\u0259r var. Kimisi maa\u015f\u0131 b\u0259han\u0259 g\u0259tirir, kimisi u\u015faqlar\u0131, valideynl\u0259ri g\u00fcnahland\u0131r\u0131r. Lakin bunlar\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131 \u0259slind\u0259 s\u0259b\u0259b deyil. He\u00e7 bir \u00e7\u0259tinlik m\u00fc\u0259llimin h\u0259v\u0259sini azaltmamal\u0131, \u0259lini i\u015fd\u0259n soyutmamal\u0131d\u0131r. \u018fsrimizin \u0259vv\u0259ll\u0259rind\u0259 indikind\u0259n d\u0259 art\u0131q \u00e7\u0259tinlik vard\u0131. Ziyal\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z, qabaqc\u0131l fikirli adamlar\u0131m\u0131z h\u0259r c\u00fcr m\u0259hrumiyy\u0259tl\u0259r\u0259, h\u0259d\u0259-qorxulara, t\u0259qibl\u0259r\u0259 m\u0259ruz qalsalar da xalq\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 elm\u0259, maarif\u0259, m\u0259d\u0259niyy\u0259t\u0259 s\u0259sl\u0259yir, \u00f6z \u015f\u0259xsi rahatl\u0131qlar\u0131ndan ke\u00e7irdil\u0259r. Sabiri, Mirz\u0259 C\u0259lili, N\u0259rimanovu, K\u00f6\u00e7\u0259rlini, Hac\u0131b\u0259ylini, M\u0259mm\u0259d \u018fmini kim m\u0259cbur edirdi bu q\u0259d\u0259r \u0259ziyy\u0259t-z\u0259hm\u0259t \u00e7\u0259ksinl\u0259r? Yaln\u0131z v\u0259 yaln\u0131z milli vicdanlar\u0131. Onlar m\u00fckafat umurdular? \u00abSa\u011f ol\u00bb \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u0259ll\u0259\u015firdil\u0259r? Yox. Bir qisim inc\u0259s\u0259n\u0259ti, m\u0259tbuat\u0131, dig\u0259r qism maarifi, m\u0259d\u0259niyy\u0259ti, elmi ir\u0259lil\u0259tm\u0259k, ba\u015fqa bir qismi camaat\u0131 \u0259sar\u0259td\u0259n qurtarmaq, azadl\u0131\u011fa \u00e7\u0131xarmaq namin\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Milli teatr\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n yarad\u0131c\u0131lar\u0131ndan H\u00fcseyn \u018fr\u0259blinski, Abbas Mirz\u0259 \u015e\u0259rifzad\u0259, sonralar Mikay\u0131l M\u00fc\u015ffiq, H\u00fcseyn Cavid, y\u00fczl\u0259rl\u0259 ba\u015fqalar\u0131 \u00f6z ideyalar\u0131n\u0131n qurbanlar\u0131 oldular. Biz is\u0259 b\u0259z\u0259n bu g\u00fcn m\u0259nafe, rahatl\u0131q g\u00fcd\u0259r\u0259k i\u015f\u0259 can yand\u0131rm\u0131r\u0131q. M\u0259kt\u0259bimizd\u0259 d\u0259 bel\u0259l\u0259ri var. Biri d\u0259rsi burax\u0131b \u00e7iy\u0259l\u0259k, dig\u0259ri t\u0259r\u0259v\u0259z alverin\u0259 gedir. Ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u0259m, dolan\u0131\u015f\u0131q \u00e7\u0259tindir. Amma vicdan\u0131m\u0131z da b\u0259z\u0259n bizi narahat etm\u0259lidir. Bu u\u015faqlar\u0131 biz\u0259 tap\u015f\u0131r\u0131blar. N\u0259 is\u0259\u2026 dey\u0259s\u0259n, s\u00f6hb\u0259ti uzatd\u0131m. Bir t\u0259klifim var. \u0130st\u0259yir\u0259m s\u0259ni ibtidai sinifl\u0259r \u00fczr\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 m\u00fcavin g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcm\u2026
\nT\u0259klif g\u00f6zl\u0259nilm\u0259z oldu\u011fundan \u018fziz\u0259 qeyri-ixtiyari yerind\u0259n qalxd\u0131. T\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259 direktora baxd\u0131.
\n– \u018fyl\u0259\u015f, \u0259yl\u0259\u015f. M\u0259n d\u0259 n\u0259 etdiyimi bilir\u0259m. Sad\u0259c\u0259, s\u0259nin raz\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n laz\u0131md\u0131r.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 t\u0259klif olunan v\u0259zif\u0259nin m\u0259suliyy\u0259tini yax\u015f\u0131 anlad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan:
\n– B\u0259s H\u0259mid m\u00fc\u0259llim? M\u0259n bacararam?- dey\u0259 soru\u015fdu.
\nMaarif m\u00fc\u0259llim qa\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7atd\u0131:
\n– H\u0259mid t\u0259cr\u00fcb\u0259li m\u00fc\u0259llimdir. \u0130xtisas\u0131n\u0131 da pis bilmir. Ancaq ne\u00e7\u0259nci d\u0259f\u0259dir ki, m\u0259n ona x\u0259b\u0259rdarl\u0131q edir\u0259m. \u0130btidai sinifl\u0259rd\u0259 valideynl\u0259rd\u0259n m\u00fcxt\u0259lif b\u0259han\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 pul y\u0131\u011f\u0131l\u0131r. H\u0259diyy\u0259l\u0259r al\u0131n\u0131r. Bunun qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ala bilmir. H\u0259tta \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 bu i\u015f\u0259 qur\u015fan\u0131b. Ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u0259m \u2013 bir \u00e7\u0259t\u0259n k\u00fclf\u0259ti var, az maa\u015f al\u0131r. Deyir, arvad-u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xa bilmir\u0259m. Amma r\u00fc\u015fv\u0259t, h\u0259diyy\u0259 almaq v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f yolu deyil. \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fcz n\u00fcfuzumuzu a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 sal\u0131r\u0131q. G\u00f6zd\u0259n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fck. Ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrs\u0259n? Bir vaxt imtahanlar zaman\u0131 yuxar\u0131 sinifl\u0259rd\u0259 pul y\u0131\u011f\u0131rd\u0131lar. Bunun qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ald\u0131m. \u0130ndi d\u0259 ibtidai sinifl\u0259r d\u0259 bel\u0259-bel\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259r olur.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 he\u00e7 vaxt v\u0259zif\u0259 bar\u0259d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259mi\u015f, onun h\u0259sr\u0259tind\u0259 d\u0259 olmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. D\u0259rs dem\u0259k, yaxud u\u015faq ba\u011f\u00e7as\u0131nda t\u0259rbiy\u0259\u00e7ilik etm\u0259k, \u00f6z bilik v\u0259 bacar\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259k onun b\u0259si idi. \u018fziz\u0259 m\u0259nfi hallar\u0131 xo\u015flam\u0131r, he\u00e7 kimd\u0259n d\u0259 h\u0259diyy\u0259 ummurdu. Onun fikrinc\u0259, pedaqoji i\u015fd\u0259 \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck h\u0259diyy\u0259, m\u00fckafat \u2013 bir xo\u015f s\u00f6zd\u0259n, yaxud bir d\u0259st\u0259 g\u00fcld\u0259n, bir d\u0259 xo\u015fb\u0259xt, savadl\u0131, \u0259xlaql\u0131 u\u015faqlar t\u0259rbiy\u0259 etm\u0259kd\u0259n ibar\u0259t olmal\u0131d\u0131r. Maarif m\u00fc\u0259llimin g\u00f6zl\u0259diyinin \u0259ksin\u0259 olaraq \u018fziz\u0259 etiraz\u0131n\u0131 bildirdi:
\n– D\u0259rs dem\u0259k m\u0259nim daha \u00e7ox xo\u015fuma g\u0259lir. V\u0259zif\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn h\u0259l\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc haz\u0131r hesab etmir\u0259m.
\nOnun cavab\u0131 Maarif m\u00fc\u0259llim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn g\u00f6zl\u0259nilm\u0259z oldu. T\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf hissil\u0259 dedi:
\n– Q\u0131z\u0131m, fikrini bildirm\u0259y\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259sm\u0259. M\u0259n s\u0259n\u0259 t\u0259kc\u0259 v\u0259zif\u0259 t\u0259klif etmir\u0259m, h\u0259m d\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259k g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259yini ist\u0259yir\u0259m. M\u0259kt\u0259bi idar\u0259 etm\u0259k asan i\u015f deyil. Bunun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yan\u0131nda inand\u0131\u011f\u0131n, etibar etdiyin v\u0259 i\u015fbacaran adamlar olmal\u0131d\u0131r. S\u0259n m\u0259nim yax\u0131n k\u00f6m\u0259k\u00e7im ola bil\u0259rs\u0259n. U\u015faqlar\u0131n m\u0259nafeyi bax\u0131m\u0131ndan deyir\u0259m. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259s\u0259n\u2026 M\u0259nim fikrim q\u0259tidir. H\u0259mid m\u00fc\u0259llim o v\u0259zif\u0259d\u0259 qala bilm\u0259z. S\u0259nin sinfini ona ver\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m.
\nSinifd\u0259n, t\u0259z\u0259-t\u0259z\u0259 isini\u015fdiyi u\u015faqlardan ayr\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k \u018fziz\u0259ni daha \u00e7ox qorxudurdu.
\n– Maarif m\u00fc\u0259llim\u2026
\n– Q\u0131z\u0131m, h\u0259r halda fikirl\u0259\u015f, evd\u0259 d\u0259 m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tl\u0259\u015f\u2026
\nBu vaxt H\u0259mid m\u00fc\u0259llim i\u00e7\u0259ri girdi. Maarif m\u00fc\u0259llimin \u018fziz\u0259 il\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259t etdiyini g\u00f6rd\u00fckd\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc itirdi, dala\u011f\u0131 sancd\u0131:
\n– Maarif m\u00fc\u0259llim, dedil\u0259r ki, m\u0259ni g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259yirsiniz\u2026
\n– El\u0259dir, H\u0259mid m\u00fc\u0259llim. \u018fyl\u0259\u015fin. Q\u0131z\u0131m, s\u0259n ged\u0259 bil\u0259rs\u0259n.
\n***
\n\u018fziz\u0259 ne\u00e7\u0259 vaxt idi ki, sakit idi. U\u011fursuz taleyi il\u0259 bar\u0131\u015f\u0131b adi h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015fay\u0131r, m\u0259i\u015f\u0259t qay\u011f\u0131lar\u0131 il\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011ful olur, metodik v\u0259 pedaqoji \u0259d\u0259biyyat\u0131 v\u0259r\u0259ql\u0259yir, d\u0259rsl\u0259rini yax\u015f\u0131 ke\u00e7m\u0259y\u0259, u\u015faqlara bilik verm\u0259kl\u0259 yana\u015f\u0131 onlar\u0131n idrak\u0131n\u0131 inki\u015faf etdirm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. O, g\u00f6z\u0259l anlay\u0131rd\u0131 ki, \u015fagirdl\u0259ri d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcrm\u0259y\u0259 al\u0131\u015fd\u0131ra bils\u0259, m\u00fcst\u0259qilliyin\u0259 nail olsa, onlar h\u0259m yax\u015f\u0131 oxuyacaq, h\u0259m t\u0259lim material\u0131n\u0131 \u015f\u00fcurlu qavrayacaq, h\u0259m d\u0259 hadis\u0259l\u0259r aras\u0131ndak\u0131 s\u0259b\u0259b-n\u0259tic\u0259 \u0259laq\u0259l\u0259rini ayd\u0131n ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 pedaqoji i\u015f\u0259, sinf\u0259, d\u0259rs dediyi u\u015faqlara \u00e7ox ba\u011flanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bir g\u00fcn \u015fagirdl\u0259ri g\u00f6rm\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259, m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 getm\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 dar\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131. Bu, bir \u00e7ox qay\u011f\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 ona unutdurmu\u015fdu. Sinifd\u0259, \u015fagirdl\u0259ri aras\u0131nda ke\u00e7\u0259n h\u0259yat\u0131na al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. H\u0259min h\u0259yatdan ayr\u0131lmaq ist\u0259mirdi. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 Maarif m\u00fc\u0259llimin t\u0259klifi yen\u0259 onu qay\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 y\u00fckl\u0259di. Direktor m\u00fcavini olmaq \u00e7oxlar\u0131n\u0131n arzusu idi. Bu v\u0259zif\u0259y\u0259 ke\u00e7m\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ne\u00e7\u0259-ne\u00e7\u0259 adama a\u011f\u0131z a\u00e7anlar olurdu. \u018fziz\u0259 he\u00e7 atal\u0131 g\u00fcnl\u0259rind\u0259n d\u0259 \u015f\u00f6hr\u0259t\u0259 can atmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Adi h\u0259yat t\u0259rzi, sad\u0259 geyim, ortabab dolan\u0131\u015f\u0131q onu t\u0259min edirdi. Var-d\u00f6vl\u0259tin, \u015fan-\u015f\u00f6hr\u0259tin insanlar\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na n\u0259 kimi oyunlar a\u00e7d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kitablardan oxumu\u015f, h\u0259yatda bunlar\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Yoxsa ulu Nizami dem\u0259zdi: \u00abN\u0259 \u015f\u00f6hr\u0259t, n\u0259 yuxu, n\u0259 d\u0259 ki, yem\u0259k, h\u0259yat\u0131n m\u0259nas\u0131 olmas\u0131n g\u0259r\u0259k\u00bb.
\n\u0130lahi, min il \u0259rzind\u0259 \u00f6z \u015f\u00f6hr\u0259tini, qiym\u0259tini itirm\u0259y\u0259n bu insan nec\u0259 d\u0259 uzaq g\u00f6r\u0259n v\u0259 sad\u0259 imi\u015f. Halal z\u0259hm\u0259til\u0259 qazand\u0131\u011f\u0131 arpa \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259yini \u00f6zg\u0259sinin verdiyi bu\u011fda \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259yind\u0259n \u00fcst\u00fcn tuturdu. Yoxsa indikil\u0259r\u2026 \u018fll\u0259ri ba\u015fqalar\u0131na uzan\u0131r. G\u00f6zl\u0259ri \u00f6zg\u0259l\u0259rinin qazan\u0131na dikilir. G\u00f6z d\u0259 doymaq bilmir ki, bilmir. M\u00fc\u0259llim d\u0259 r\u00fc\u015fv\u0259t alar, h\u0259diyy\u0259 umar?! \u0130lahi, bu yolu tutanlar sinf\u0259 gir\u0259nd\u0259 o m\u0259sum k\u00f6rp\u0259l\u0259rin \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 nec\u0259 bax\u0131rlar? 8 martda valideynl\u0259r \u018fziz\u0259y\u0259 d\u0259 g\u00fcl-\u00e7i\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259r h\u0259diyy\u0259l\u0259r g\u0259tirmi\u015fdil\u0259r. Onlar\u0131n \u00e7ox yalvar-yaxar\u0131ndan sonra g\u00fcll\u0259ri g\u00f6t\u00fcrs\u0259 d\u0259, h\u0259diyy\u0259l\u0259ri geri qaytarm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Deyirl\u0259r, h\u0259diyy\u0259ni q\u0259bul etm\u0259m\u0259k yax\u015f\u0131 deyil. Lakin b\u0259zi valideynl\u0259r bir \u00e7ox hallarda m\u00fc\u0259llimi \u0259l\u0259 almaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn h\u0259diyy\u0259 g\u0259tirirl\u0259r. M\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259 valideyn aras\u0131nda bel\u0259 mizan-t\u0259r\u0259zi, alver m\u00fcnasib\u0259ti oldusa, orada t\u0259lim-t\u0259rbiy\u0259 i\u015fi u\u011furlu m\u0259craya y\u00f6n\u0259lm\u0259z. Sonras\u0131 da bu valideynl\u0259rin ald\u0131qlar\u0131 n\u0259dir ki, ona da g\u00f6z dik\u0259s\u0259n?
\nMaarif m\u00fc\u0259llim ona m\u00f6hl\u0259t verdi. \u0130ndi n\u0259 etsin? Ki\u015finin s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc n\u0259 yer\u0259 sala bilir, n\u0259 d\u0259 raz\u0131la\u015fa. Maarif m\u00fc\u0259llim onu \u00e7\u0259tin\u0259 salm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. B\u0259lk\u0259 anas\u0131, day\u0131s\u0131 il\u0259 m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tl\u0259\u015fsin. Bird\u0259n onlar da dedil\u0259r ki, ki\u015finin s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 bax. A\u011f\u0131r adamd\u0131r, s\u0259ni i\u015f\u0259 g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb, h\u00f6rm\u0259t-izz\u0259t sahibidir. K\u0259ndd\u0259 xeyir-\u015f\u0259r i\u015fi olan onunla m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tl\u0259\u015fir. Y\u0259qin ki, anas\u0131 da, day\u0131s\u0131 da bel\u0259 m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259k. B\u0259lk\u0259 onlara he\u00e7 n\u0259 dem\u0259sin. Bu da olmaz. \u0130ndi day\u0131s\u0131 onlar\u0131n b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fc, yol g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259nidir\u2026 Anas\u0131n\u0131n n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r z\u0259hm\u0259tini \u00e7\u0259kib. Onlara ev-e\u015fik d\u00fcz\u0259ldib. Fatmada, \u018fziz\u0259d\u0259 h\u0259yata, insanlara inam yarad\u0131b.
\n– \u018fziz\u0259 yen\u0259 n\u0259 olub? Fikirli g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrs\u0259n?.
\nAnas\u0131 idi.
\nB\u00fct\u00fcn qay\u011f\u0131lar\u0131 sif\u0259tind\u0259 \u0259ks olundu\u011fundan s\u00f6z\u00fcn d\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc dem\u0259kd\u0259n \u00f6zg\u0259 \u0259lac g\u00f6rm\u0259di. Az sonra day\u0131s\u0131 da m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259d\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259rdar idi. \u018fziz\u0259 d\u00fcz fikirl\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdi. Onlar Maarif m\u00fc\u0259llimi e\u015fitm\u0259yi m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t bilirdil\u0259r. \u018fziz\u0259 odla su aras\u0131nda qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. H\u0259min gec\u0259ni o, narahat yatd\u0131.
\n***
\nO, m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 e\u015fitdi ki, H\u0259mid m\u00fc\u0259llimi v\u0259zif\u0259sind\u0259n azad edibl\u0259r. Maarif m\u00fc\u0259llim \u018fziz\u0259nin i\u00e7\u0259ri girdiyini g\u00f6r\u00fcb:
\n– Yax\u0131n g\u0259l, q\u0131z\u0131m, n\u0259 deyirs\u0259n, \u0259mrini haz\u0131rlay\u0131m? T\u0259hsil \u015f\u00f6b\u0259sind\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fam. Deyirl\u0259r, \u00f6z\u00fcn bil\u0259n m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tdir. H\u0259r \u015fey yax\u015f\u0131 olacaq, narahat\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u0259b\u0259sdir.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 bu etimad\u0131n qaba\u011f\u0131nda bilmirdi ki, nec\u0259 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t etsin, n\u0259 cavab versin. \u00abh\u0259\u00bb dey\u0259ydi \u2013 nec\u0259 dey\u0259ydi\u00bb \u00abyox\u00bb dey\u0259ydi \u2013 yen\u0259 nec\u0259 dey\u0259ydi? Ax\u0131rda q\u0259ti q\u0259rar\u0131n\u0131 bildirdi:
\n– Maarif m\u00fc\u0259llim, m\u0259n sinif m\u00fc\u0259llimi kimi i\u015fl\u0259m\u0259k ist\u0259yir\u0259m\u2026 \u018fziz\u0259nin direktorun kabinetind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259n H\u0259mid m\u00fc\u0259llim eyhamla:
\n– T\u0259brik edir\u0259m, \u018fziz\u0259 xan\u0131m! \u2013 dey\u0259 s\u00f6z atd\u0131. \u00d6z\u00fcnd\u0259-s\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 olmayan \u018fziz\u0259 qeyri-ixtiyari g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcn\u0259r\u0259k:
\n– Sa\u011f olun, – deyib sinif ota\u011f\u0131na ke\u00e7di. Az sonra H\u0259mid m\u00fc\u0259llim b\u00fct\u00fcn m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 yayd\u0131 ki, \u018fziz\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259llim\u0259 yeni v\u0259zif\u0259y\u0259 t\u0259yin olunub.
\nT\u0259n\u0259ff\u00fcs\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xanda m\u00fc\u0259llim yolda\u015flar\u0131ndan bir ne\u00e7\u0259si \u018fziz\u0259y\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131b onu t\u0259brik etdil\u0259r. \u018fziz\u0259nin \u015f\u0259klini m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259r ota\u011f\u0131ndak\u0131 \u015f\u0259r\u0259f l\u00f6vh\u0259sin\u0259 vurmu\u015fdular. Bayaq el\u0259 bilmi\u015fdi ki, H\u0259mid m\u00fc\u0259llim onu h\u0259min \u015f\u0259kl\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 t\u0259brik edir. T\u0259brikin s\u0259b\u0259bi indi ona ayd\u0131n oldu v\u0259 \u018fziz\u0259 direktor m\u00fcavini ke\u00e7m\u0259diyini m\u00fc\u0259llim yolda\u015flar\u0131na bildirdi.
\n***
\n\u0130mkan\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259 k\u0259nd cavanlar\u0131 i\u00e7\u0259risind\u0259 Adilxan ham\u0131dan se\u00e7ilirdi. Atas\u0131 C\u0259f\u0259rxan uzun m\u00fcdd\u0259t sovxoz direktoru i\u015fl\u0259mi\u015f, dar g\u00fcn \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn xeyli s\u0259rv\u0259t toplam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Xalq aras\u0131nda deyildiyi kimi, \u00abbirc\u0259 donuzu \u0259skik idi\u00bb. \u0130nsaf\u0259n, z\u0259hm\u0259tke\u015f, i\u015f bacaran, t\u0259\u015fkilat\u00e7\u0131 adam idi. Sovxozda i\u015fl\u0259ri el\u0259 qururdu ki, camaat da k\u0259nardan bax\u0131b barma\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sormas\u0131n. \u00c7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131 ki, onlar da be\u015f \u2013 on manat\u0131n sahibi olsunlar. C\u0259f\u0259rxan\u0131n gec\u0259-g\u00fcnd\u00fcz dincliyi yox idi. At belind\u0259, \u00abNiva\u00bb avtoma\u015f\u0131n\u0131nda sah\u0259l\u0259ri g\u0259zir, \u0259kinin, bi\u00e7inin v\u0259ziyy\u0259tin\u0259, fermada mal-heyvan\u0131n hal\u0131na, yemin\u0259 fikir verirdi. Onun t\u0259l\u0259bkarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bildikl\u0259rind\u0259n f\u0259hl\u0259l\u0259r d\u0259 i\u015f\u0259 barmaqaras\u0131 baxm\u0131rd\u0131lar.
\n\u015eura h\u00f6kum\u0259ti da\u011f\u0131landan sonra da o, \u0259lini \u0259linin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qoyub oturmad\u0131. Fermer t\u0259s\u0259rr\u00fcfat\u0131 yaratd\u0131. Qoymad\u0131 ki, k\u0259nd\u00e7il\u0259ri \u00abneyl\u0259yim, nec\u0259 eyl\u0259yim\u00bb dilemmas\u0131 qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda qals\u0131nlar. O vaxtlar olan\u0131n\u0131-qalan\u0131n\u0131 x\u0259rcl\u0259yib, pulsuz-paras\u0131z qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. Ba\u011f \u2013 bostanlar\u0131n\u0131n m\u0259hsulunu k\u0259nara \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b sata bilmirdil\u0259r. Bazara g\u0259l\u0259n camaat\u0131n al\u0131c\u0131l\u0131q qabiliyy\u0259ti a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 idi. Y\u00fck\u00fcn da\u015f\u0131nmas\u0131 baha ba\u015fa g\u0259lirdi. Yollar\u0131 k\u0259sib polis i\u015f\u00e7il\u0259ri g\u0259lib-ged\u0259ni soyub talay\u0131rd\u0131lar M\u0259hsul. qap\u0131larda qal\u0131b xarab olurdu. C\u0259f\u0259rxan bel\u0259 dar g\u00fcnd\u0259 h\u0259mk\u0259ndlil\u0259rinin dad\u0131na \u00e7atd\u0131. Fermer t\u0259s\u0259rr\u00fcfat\u0131nda h\u0259r\u0259sin\u0259 bir i\u015f verdi. Qa\u00e7q\u0131nlar, k\u00f6\u00e7k\u00fcnl\u0259r k\u0259nd\u0259 p\u0259nah g\u0259tir\u0259nd\u0259 onlara da \u0259l tutdu. Fermer t\u0259s\u0259rr\u00fcfat\u0131 get-ged\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fc. C\u0259f\u0259rxan\u0131n i\u015fl\u0259ri yax\u015f\u0131 gedirdi. Lakin ba\u015f\u0131 t\u0259s\u0259rr\u00fcfata qar\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan, he\u00e7 bir \u015feyd\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tinlik \u00e7\u0259km\u0259y\u0259n o\u011fullar\u0131 haz\u0131ryey\u0259n\u0259 \u00e7evrilmi\u015fdil\u0259r. \u0130ki o\u011flu, bir q\u0131z\u0131 vard\u0131. Q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 yerb\u0259yer el\u0259mi\u015fdi. \u00d6z \u0259li, \u00f6z ba\u015f\u0131 idi. Onun sar\u0131dan nigaran\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131, naraz\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 yox idi. O\u011flu Fuad bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t buralarda avara\u00e7\u0131l\u0131q edib Rusiyaya \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b getmi\u015fdi. Orada alver el\u0259yirdi. Ana\u015fa \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 ili\u015fib, d\u00f6rd il h\u0259bs c\u0259zas\u0131 alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130kinci o\u011flu Adilxan rayon m\u0259rk\u0259zind\u0259ki institut filial\u0131nda oxuyurdu. Ad\u0131na oxumaq dem\u0259k olard\u0131sa. C\u0259f\u0259rxan burada ona ikiotaql\u0131 m\u0259nzil d\u0259 alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, kiray\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 can \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fctm\u0259sin. Bir \u00abJiquli\u00bbd\u0259 alt\u0131na qoymu\u015fdu ki, k\u0259nd-k\u0259s\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259lib-ged\u0259 bilsin.
\nAta \u0259ll\u0259\u015fib-vuru\u015fur, qay\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259rir, o\u011ful q\u0259dir-qiym\u0259t bilmir, pullar\u0131 sa\u011fa-sola x\u0259rcl\u0259yirdi. Kefi k\u00f6k idi Adilxan\u0131n. C\u0259f\u0259rxan o\u011flunun avara h\u0259yat ke\u00e7irdiyini g\u00f6rd\u00fckd\u0259 t\u00fcst\u00fcs\u00fc t\u0259p\u0259sind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r, bu i\u015fd\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn d\u0259 t\u0259qsirli oldu\u011funu ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc. N\u0259 etsin? Pul verm\u0259sin? Evi \u00e7ap\u0131b aparacaq. Ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 \u0259lind\u0259n als\u0131n? Evd\u0259n qovsun? B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar yaranm\u0131\u015f v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f yolu deyildi. N\u0259 dey\u0259rdil\u0259r ona? Guya bel\u0259 ets\u0259, Adilxan yola g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kdi? B\u0259lk\u0259 evl\u0259ndirsin? Kimin q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 b\u0259db\u0259xt etsin? Ondan arvad saxlayan \u00e7\u0131xar? N\u0259 dem\u0259k olar? Bir d\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcn ail\u0259sin\u0259 ba\u011flan\u0131b q\u0131\u00e7\u0131n\u0131 qatlay\u0131b oturdu. U\u015fa\u011f\u0131 olar, m\u0259suliyy\u0259ti artar. T\u0259ki olsun. Bu q\u0131r\u0131\u015fmal\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 tezlikl\u0259 almasam \u2013 gec olacaq, Qarda\u015f\u0131n\u0131n g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259k. \u00ab\u0130\u015f\u0259 bir bax. Camaat bu a\u011f\u0131r z\u0259man\u0259d\u0259 ail\u0259sinin \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k pulunu qazanmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn gec\u0259-g\u00fcnd\u00fcz \u0259ll\u0259\u015fir. Bu nankor is\u0259 \u0259lini a\u011fdan qaraya vurmadan \u015fah balas\u0131 kimi ya\u015fay\u0131r, min \u0259ziyy\u0259tl\u0259 toplad\u0131\u011f\u0131m pullar\u0131 \u00abuf\u00bb dem\u0259d\u0259n s\u0259p\u0259l\u0259yir\u00bb.
\nC\u0259f\u0259rxan tap\u015f\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 kimi, bu d\u0259f\u0259 Adilxan k\u0259nd\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 M\u0259rziyy\u0259 onunla s\u00f6hb\u0259t etdi:
\n– S\u0259nin tay-tu\u015flar\u0131n ev-e\u015fik sahibidir. S\u0259ninl\u0259 eyni vaxtda instituta gir\u0259nl\u0259r art\u0131q orada-burada \u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 i\u015f tap\u0131blar. S\u0259n is\u0259 h\u0259r kursda bir il qala-qala, g\u00fcn\u00fc ke\u00e7irirs\u0259n. Ax\u0131rda bir d\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcn oxudu\u011fun m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 s\u0259nin ad\u0131n\u0131 veribl\u0259r. Gec\u0259-g\u00fcnd\u00fcz ma\u015f\u0131ndan d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcrs\u0259n Buradan vurub, oradan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131rsan. Anas\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcr\u0259yinin dolu oldu\u011funu g\u00f6r\u0259n Adilxan sakitc\u0259 qulaq as\u0131r, eyni zamanda ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc ki, o, bu s\u00f6hb\u0259ti nahaq a\u00e7may\u0131b. S\u00f6zl\u00fc adama ox\u015fay\u0131r. Odur ki, soru\u015fdu:
\n– \u0130ndi t\u0259klifin n\u0259dir, ay ana?
\nM\u0259rziyy\u0259 yerini rahatlay\u0131b a\u011f\u0131r-a\u011f\u0131r dedi:
\n– Bala, atan da, m\u0259n d\u0259 qocalm\u0131\u015f\u0131q s\u0259nin \u0259l-aya\u011f\u0131n\u0131 y\u0131\u011fma\u011f\u0131n vaxt\u0131d\u0131r. Bel\u0259 ya\u015famaq olmaz. Deyir\u0259m, g\u0259l, s\u0259ni evl\u0259ndir\u0259k.
\nEvl\u0259nm\u0259k, rayon m\u0259rk\u0259zind\u0259 cavan q\u0131zlarla g\u00fcn ke\u00e7ir\u0259n, barlarda, diskotekalarda \u0259yl\u0259n\u0259n Adilxan\u0131n yad\u0131na bel\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcrd\u00fc. Subayl\u0131\u011f\u0131, b\u0259zil\u0259ri kimi, sultanl\u0131q n\u0259dir, lap prezidentlik say\u0131rd\u0131. \u0130ndi anas\u0131n\u0131n t\u0259klifin\u0259 g\u00fclm\u0259yi tutdu:
\n– H\u0259l\u0259 tez deyil, ay ana?! M\u0259nim n\u0259 ya\u015f\u0131m var?! G\u00f6rm\u00fcrs\u0259n h\u0259l\u0259 ana u\u015fa\u011f\u0131yam. X\u0259rcliyimi d\u0259 d\u0259d\u0259m verir.
\n– Tez niy\u0259 olur, ay o\u011ful?! X\u0259rcliyinizi d\u0259 bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t atan \u00e7\u0259k\u0259r. \u0130\u015fl\u0259rs\u0259n, \u00f6z \u0259lin, \u00f6z ba\u015f\u0131n olar.
\nAdil ip\u0259-sapa yatmayaraq:
\n– Deyirs\u0259n, arvad\u0131m\u0131 da d\u0259d\u0259min pulu il\u0259 saxlay\u0131m? \u2013 dedi.
\nM\u0259rziyy\u0259 p\u0259rt v\u0259 dilxor halda:
\n– Daha ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za haran\u0131n k\u00fcl\u00fcn\u00fc t\u00f6k\u0259k?! \u2013 dedi. \u2013 Bel\u0259 d\u0259 yola g\u0259lmirs\u0259n, el\u0259 d\u0259. Bir i\u015fin qulpundan yap\u0131\u015fm\u0131rsan. Yax\u015f\u0131, oxuya-oxuya i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259rs\u0259n.
\n– N\u0259 vacibdir, ay ana?\u2026 Yax\u015f\u0131, yax\u015f\u0131, qa\u015f-qaba\u011f\u0131n\u0131 t\u00f6km\u0259\u2026 D\u0259d\u0259ml\u0259 s\u0259n b\u0259s kimi al\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z m\u0259n\u0259?
\nM\u0259rziyy\u0259 onun yola g\u0259ldiyini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259r\u0259k daxili bir sevincl\u0259:
\n– Ay bala, s\u0259n z\u0259man\u0259 u\u015fa\u011f\u0131san. Qorxuram \u0259limizi birin\u0259 uzadaq, dodaq b\u00fcz\u0259s\u0259n. \u00d6z\u00fcn kimi b\u0259y\u0259ns\u0259n, onun da qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6y\u0259c\u0259yik. Amma, ay o\u011ful, yad\u0131nda saxla. Biz n\u0259sild\u0259 n\u0259 arvad bo\u015fayan, n\u0259 d\u0259 \u0259rind\u0259n bo\u015fanan olub. El\u0259sini tap ki, sonra pe\u015fman\u00e7\u0131l\u0131q olmas\u0131n. S\u0259nin ipinin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 odun y\u0131\u011fmaq m\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcl bir i\u015fdir. Biz b\u0259y\u0259n\u0259rik, sonra h\u0259r an ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za qaxarsan.
\nAnas\u0131n\u0131n s\u00f6zl\u0259rini q\u0259rib\u00e7iliy\u0259 salsa da \u00abJiquli\u00bby\u0259 \u0259yl\u0259\u015fib rayon m\u0259rk\u0259zin\u0259 qay\u0131dan Adilxan ist\u0259r-ist\u0259m\u0259z d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259li oldu: \u00abB\u0259lk\u0259 anam do\u011fru buyurur. Gec-tez evl\u0259nm\u0259liy\u0259m. Burada pis n\u0259 var ki?\u00bb
\nDo\u011fru deyibl\u0259r ki, s\u00f6z t\u0259sirsiz qalm\u0131r. Adilxan fikr\u0259 getdi: \u00abB\u0259s kimi al\u0131m\u00bb? O, indiy\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r k\u0259nd q\u0131zlar\u0131ndan he\u00e7 kimi b\u0259y\u0259nm\u0259mi\u015fdi. Sad\u0259c\u0259, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 yara\u015fd\u0131rm\u0131rd\u0131: \u00abN\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r b\u0259z\u0259nib-d\u00fcz\u0259ns\u0259l\u0259r d\u0259, el\u0259 k\u0259nd\u00e7idirl\u0259r ki, k\u0259nd\u00e7i\u00bb. Lakin indi \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259 k\u0259nd q\u0131zlar\u0131n\u0131 bir\u0259r-bir\u0259r yad\u0131na sald\u0131: \u00abUza\u011fa niy\u0259 gedim? S\u0259rf\u0259lisi olsa, al\u0131m, qoyum ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131n alt\u0131na. Anam\u0131n yan\u0131nda qalacaq. O\u011ful-u\u015faq b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u0259c\u0259k. M\u0259n d\u0259 \u00f6z kefimd\u0259 olaram. Arvad m\u0259ni \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259n qa\u00e7aq salmayacaq ki\u2026 Yen\u0259 bir aya\u011f\u0131m oralarda \u2013 barda, saunada, restoranda, \u0259yl\u0259nc\u0259, kef m\u0259clisl\u0259rind\u0259 olacaq. Kimi ni\u015fan verim b\u0259s? Nazl\u0131n\u0131? Sir-sif\u0259ti pis deyil. Amma burnu bir az yek\u0259dir. P\u0259rini? B\u0259r-b\u0259d\u0259nin\u0259 s\u00f6z ola bilm\u0259z. Amma deyirl\u0259r yatanda xorulday\u0131r. \u018fsm\u0259ri? Evd\u0259 bir s\u00fcr\u00fc u\u015faqd\u0131rlar. L\u00fct Qas\u0131m\u0131n can\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn. Bas\u0131b \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc yey\u0259rl\u0259r. B\u0259n\u00f6v\u015f\u0259ni? Arxas\u0131 \u00e7ox iridir. H\u0259rd\u0259n yoldan \u00f6t\u0259n bax\u0131r. Sabah evl\u0259ndim toya-bayrama aparanda g\u0259r\u0259k qolumu \u00e7\u0131rmalay\u0131b onunla-bununla davaya \u00e7\u0131x\u0131m. Nazp\u0259rini? Q\u0131\u00e7lar\u0131 \u00e7ox nazikdir. O biri q\u0131zlar da \u00e7\u00f6l-bay\u0131rda alaq, pamb\u0131q y\u0131\u011fmaqdan, mal alt\u0131 t\u0259mizl\u0259m\u0259kd\u0259n kor-kobud olublar. Yata\u011fa gir\u0259nd\u0259 el\u0259 bil\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n ki\u015fi yan\u0131nda uzan\u0131bsan.
\n\u0130ndi ke\u00e7\u0259k institutdak\u0131 q\u0131zlara. Vid-fasonlar\u0131na s\u00f6z ola bilm\u0259z. Amma b\u0259zil\u0259rind\u0259n arvad \u00e7\u0131xmaz. Bir qismi q\u0131\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131, bir qismi sin\u0259l\u0259rini n\u00fcmayi\u015f etdirir. Kef \u00e7\u0259km\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yarananlar\u0131 da var, aya\u011f\u0131 s\u00fcr\u00fc\u015fg\u0259nl\u0259ri d\u0259, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc oxumaqdan \u00f6tr\u00fc \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u0259nl\u0259ri d\u0259.
\nAdilxan \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n o q\u0259d\u0259r b\u0259dg\u00fcman idi ki, h\u0259r\u0259d\u0259 bir eyib tap\u0131rd\u0131. Ona q\u0131z b\u0259y\u0259ndirm\u0259k \u00e7\u0259tin idi. Bird\u0259n Adilxan\u0131n yad\u0131na yax\u0131nlarda olmu\u015f bir hadis\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc k\u0259ndd\u0259ki o\u011flanlara, q\u0131zlara g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259yi xo\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan maqnitofonun s\u0259sini qald\u0131r\u0131b doda\u011f\u0131nda siqaret ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 k\u0259nd yolu il\u0259 asta-asta s\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fc. Bir g\u00fcn \u0259vv\u0259l ya\u011f\u0131\u015f ya\u011fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u018ftrafda h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 su g\u00f6lm\u0259\u00e7\u0259l\u0259ri vard\u0131. G\u00f6zl\u0259ri \u00e7ayxanada \u0259yl\u0259\u015f\u0259n cavanlarda qald\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan (\u018flifa\u011fan\u0131 axtar\u0131rd\u0131) t\u0259k\u0259r \u00e7\u00f6k\u0259y\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb suyu \u0259trafa s\u0131\u00e7ratd\u0131. \u00dcst-ba\u015f\u0131 islanm\u0131\u015f cavan q\u0131z diksinib t\u0259rs-t\u0259rs Adilxana baxd\u0131. Amma bir s\u00f6z dem\u0259di. Adilxan hal\u0131n\u0131 pozmasa da \u00fczr ist\u0259m\u0259yi \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 borc bildi. Q\u0131z xo\u015fag\u0259limli idi. He\u00e7 k\u0259nd q\u0131zlar\u0131na ox\u015fam\u0131rd\u0131. Adilxan n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259ri il\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131 m\u00fc\u015fayi\u0259t etdi. Q\u0131z, add\u0131mlar\u0131n\u0131 yeyinl\u0259dib m\u0259kt\u0259b binas\u0131na daxil oldu. \u0130ndi is\u0259 q\u0131z qoltu\u011funda bir d\u0259st\u0259 d\u0259ft\u0259r m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259n g\u0259lirdi. \u018flifa\u011fadan \u00f6yr\u0259nmi\u015fdi ki, o, m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259llim i\u015fl\u0259yir. Ad\u0131 da \u018fziz\u0259dir. Bird\u0259n Adilxan\u0131n qan\u0131 q\u0131za qaynad\u0131: \u00abB\u0259lk\u0259 axtard\u0131\u011f\u0131m el\u0259 budur. Kas\u0131b ail\u0259d\u0259ndir, qa\u00e7q\u0131nd\u0131r. Papa\u011f\u0131m\u0131 h\u0259rl\u0259s\u0259m, yalvara-yalvara g\u0259lib gir\u0259c\u0259k topda\u011f\u0131tmaz evimiz\u0259\u00bb.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131n b\u0259rab\u0259rin\u0259 \u00e7atanda Adilxan\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b:
\n– Salam, m\u00fc\u0259llim\u0259, oturun, sizi apar\u0131m, – dedi.
\nTan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u0259ncin t\u0259klifi \u018fziz\u0259ni haldan \u00e7\u0131xartd\u0131, onun s\u0131rt\u0131ql\u0131\u011f\u0131 xo\u015funa g\u0259lm\u0259di. Lakin o, m\u00fc\u0259llim, t\u0259rbiy\u0259\u00e7i idi. G\u0259r\u0259k t\u0259mkinini pozmayayd\u0131 . Odur ki:
\n– Sa\u011f olun, ehtiyac yoxdur, – deyib \u00f6td\u00fc.
\nTind\u0259 dayanm\u0131\u015f cavanlar bir-birl\u0259rin\u0259 bax\u0131b q\u0131m\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. Kims\u0259:
\n– Bu Adilxan el\u0259 bilir ki, ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 var dey\u0259, kim\u0259 \u0259l el\u0259s\u0259 qa\u00e7\u0131b onun boynuna sar\u0131lacaq.
\nBa\u015fqa birisi:
\n– O, \u018fziz\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259llim\u0259ni yax\u015f\u0131 tan\u0131m\u0131r.
\nAdilxan rayon m\u0259rk\u0259zin\u0259 getm\u0259yib, yar\u0131 yoldan geri qay\u0131td\u0131. Ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 sal\u0131b \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Ora-bura d\u0259ydikd\u0259n sonra \u018flifa\u011fan\u0131 tapd\u0131. D\u0259rdl\u0259\u015fm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi. Adilxan axtard\u0131\u011f\u0131na rast g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. \u018fziz\u0259 ciddi, ziyal\u0131, t\u0259rbiy\u0259li q\u0131z idi.
\nO g\u00fcnd\u0259n Adilxan k\u0259ndd\u0259 \u00e7ox l\u0259ngiyir, \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 getm\u0259y\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259smirdi. O q\u0131zlar\u0131 \u0259l\u0259 almaqda usta idi. \u015eirin dilini i\u015f\u0259 sal\u0131b onlar\u0131 yoldan \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131r, bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t \u0259yl\u0259ndikd\u0259n sonra g\u00fcl kimi qoxulay\u0131b at\u0131rd\u0131. B\u0259zi q\u0131zlar onun toruna asanl\u0131qla d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fcl\u0259r. Do\u011fru deyibl\u0259r ki, o\u011flanlar g\u00f6zl\u0259ri il\u0259, q\u0131zlar is\u0259 qulaqlar\u0131 il\u0259 sevirl\u0259r. Bir-iki xo\u015f s\u00f6zd\u0259n, t\u0259rifd\u0259n \u00f6tr\u00fc q\u0131zlar\u0131n \u00fcr\u0259yi gedir. Onlar\u0131n bu z\u0259if t\u0259r\u0259fl\u0259rini bil\u0259n o\u011flanlar da bundan istifad\u0259 edirl\u0259r.
\nUtan\u0131b-\u00e7\u0259kinm\u0259d\u0259n xo\u015funa g\u0259l\u0259n q\u0131za e\u015fq elan ed\u0259n Adilxan \u018fziz\u0259y\u0259 bu n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259rl\u0259 baxa bilmirdi. He\u00e7 olmasa, k\u0259lm\u0259 k\u0259sm\u0259y\u0259 bel\u0259 c\u0259sar\u0259ti \u00e7atm\u0131rd\u0131. \u00d6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb etm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u00abYa\u011fl\u0131 dill\u0259rin n\u0259 oldu, Adilxan? \u00c7ox d\u00f6\u015f\u00fcn\u0259 d\u00f6y\u00fcrd\u00fcn. T\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 yolda\u015flar\u0131nla m\u0259rc g\u0259lib ist\u0259diyin q\u0131zla tan\u0131\u015f olurdun. \u0130ndi buyur, m\u0259har\u0259tini g\u00f6st\u0259r. \u018fziz\u0259 tind\u0259 dayanan forslu, \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n raz\u0131 g\u0259ncin g\u00f6zl\u0259rini ondan \u00e7\u0259km\u0259diyini duyur, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc o yer\u0259 qoymurdu. Adilxan kimi g\u0259ncl\u0259r onun maraq dair\u0259sind\u0259n \u00e7ox-\u00e7ox uzaq idi.
\nN\u0259hay\u0259t, bir g\u00fcn Adilxan can\u0131n\u0131 di\u015fin\u0259 tutub q\u0131za yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131 v\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yini a\u00e7d\u0131. Lakin h\u0259y\u0259canl\u0131 oldu\u011fundan dili topuq \u00e7ald\u0131. Bilm\u0259di n\u0259d\u0259n ba\u015flas\u0131n:
\n– Anam m\u0259ni evl\u0259ndirm\u0259k ist\u0259yir \u2026
\n\u018fziz\u0259 h\u0259yal\u0131, ciddi q\u0131z olsa da haz\u0131rcavab idi:
\n– T\u0259brik edir\u0259m. B\u0259s n\u0259 durmusan, evl\u0259n. Ma\u015fallah, \u015f\u0259kil kimi o\u011flansan.
\nAdilxan q\u0131zard\u0131:
\n– M\u0259n\u0259 deyib \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 q\u0131z se\u00e7im.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc o yer\u0259 qoymay\u0131b dedi:
\n– B\u0259s bunu m\u0259n\u0259 niy\u0259 deyirs\u0259n? \u0130st\u0259yirs\u0259n, q\u0131z se\u00e7m\u0259kd\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259k edim?
\nAdilxan \u00e7a\u015fd\u0131:
\n– K\u00f6m\u0259k?! Yox, q\u0131z tapm\u0131\u015fam.
\n– M\u0259n el\u00e7i getm\u0259liy\u0259m?
\nAdilxan \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc lap itirdi. He\u00e7 c\u00fcr s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259ri al\u0131nm\u0131rd\u0131. Odur ki, birba\u015fa m\u0259tl\u0259b\u0259 ke\u00e7di:
\n– M\u0259n sizi se\u00e7mi\u015f\u0259m.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259:
\n– Ax\u0131 m\u0259n s\u0259ni tan\u0131m\u0131ram.
\nAdilxan \u00fcr\u0259kl\u0259ndi:
\n– Burada \u00e7\u0259tin n\u0259 var ki? Tan\u0131\u015f olaq. M\u0259n C\u0259f\u0259rxan fermerin o\u011fluyam\u2026 \u0130nstitutda oxuyuram.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 onu tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fcruz\u0259 ver\u0259r\u0259k:
\n– C\u0259f\u0259rxan ki\u015finin \u0259ziz-x\u0259l\u0259f o\u011flu, dem\u0259, s\u0259n imi\u015fs\u0259n. M\u0259n d\u0259 bu m\u0259kt\u0259bin m\u00fc\u0259llimiy\u0259m. Tan\u0131\u015f olduq, bu q\u0259d\u0259r kifay\u0259tdir.
\nAdilxan yenid\u0259n \u00e7\u0259tin v\u0259ziyy\u0259t\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc:
\n– B\u0259s m\u0259n\u0259 s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz n\u0259 oldu?
\n\u018fziz\u0259 \u00f6tk\u0259m:
\n– Bundan art\u0131q tan\u0131\u015fl\u0131q, m\u0259nc\u0259, \u0259b\u0259sdir. Sa\u011f ol. \u00dcnvan\u0131 s\u0259hv salm\u0131san: Yen\u0259 axtar.
\nAdilxan n\u0259s\u0259 dem\u0259k ist\u0259di. \u018fziz\u0259 uzaqla\u015fd\u0131. O\u011flan baxa-baxa qald\u0131.
\nQ\u0131z\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc tox tutmas\u0131, ona m\u0259h\u0259l qoymamas\u0131 Adilxan\u0131n inad\u0131n\u0131 daha da art\u0131rd\u0131. Q\u0259ti q\u0259rara g\u0259ldi: \u00ab\u00d6ld\u00fc var, d\u00f6nd\u00fc yoxdur. Q\u0131z m\u0259nim olmal\u0131d\u0131r\u00bb.
\nBu vaxta q\u0259d\u0259r o, el\u0259 bilirdi ki, var-d\u00f6vl\u0259t yiy\u0259si oldu\u011fundan kim\u0259 barma\u011f\u0131n\u0131 uzatsa, ona arvad olacaq. K\u0259ndin yar\u0131s\u0131na onun atas\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k verir. \u018fziz\u0259nin anas\u0131 Fatma da C\u0259f\u0259rxan\u0131n t\u0259s\u0259rr\u00fcfat\u0131nda i\u015fl\u0259yirdi.
\n***
\nM\u0259rziyy\u0259 ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcn idi ki, o\u011fluna g\u00f6z qoyur v\u0259 hiss edirdi ki, o, \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259-s\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 deyil. \u015e\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 getm\u0259y\u0259 d\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259smir. K\u0259ndd\u0259 bu q\u0259d\u0259r duru\u015f g\u0259tirdiyi olmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. M\u0259rziyy\u0259 \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 \u00abDey\u0259s\u0259n, torbada pi\u015fik var\u00bb, – dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcb
\ng\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcnd\u00fc. H\u0259, onun s\u00f6zl\u0259ri t\u0259sirsiz qalmay\u0131b, o\u011flu kimis\u0259 g\u00f6zalt\u0131 el\u0259yib. B\u0259s kimi? Maral\u0131? S\u0259may\u0259ni? G\u00fcl\u00e7\u00f6hr\u0259ni, G\u00fcl\u015f\u0259ni, yoxsa G\u00fcls\u00fcm\u00fc? A\u00e7\u0131b-a\u011fartmay\u0131m. Ax\u0131r \u00f6z\u00fc dil\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k.
\nAna d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259n kimi oldu. M\u0259rziyy\u0259 Fatman\u0131 da, Cavad\u0131 da yax\u015f\u0131 tan\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131. Fa\u011f\u0131r adamlard\u0131r. K\u0259ndd\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131qlar\u0131 az m\u00fcdd\u0259td\u0259 he\u00e7 kimin toyu\u011funa \u00abki\u015f\u00bb dem\u0259mi\u015fdil\u0259r. Onu da bilirdi ki, bin\u0259va Fatma, onun ail\u0259si az m\u00fcsib\u0259t \u00e7\u0259km\u0259yib. \u018fziz\u0259ni d\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131a\u015fa\u011f\u0131, h\u0259yal\u0131-ab\u0131rl\u0131, ism\u0259tli q\u0131z deyirdil\u0259r. M\u0259rziyy\u0259ni g\u0259linin cehizi, ail\u0259sinin var-d\u00f6vl\u0259ti maraqland\u0131rm\u0131rd\u0131. On o\u011flu, on g\u0259lini olsayd\u0131, \u00f6m\u00fcrl\u0259rinin ax\u0131r\u0131na kimi C\u0259f\u0259rxan\u0131n toplad\u0131qlar\u0131n: yeyib qurtara bilm\u0259zdil\u0259r. Daha \u00e7ox \u00f6vlad\u0131n\u0131n xo\u015fb\u0259xt olmas\u0131n\u0131 arzulay\u0131rd\u0131. O\u011flunun dilind\u0259n \u018fziz\u0259nin ad\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fid\u0259nd\u0259 onun a\u011fl\u0131na heyran qald\u0131: \u00abM\u0259n bunu f\u0259rsiz bilirdim. Qorxurdum gedib \u0259silsiz-n\u0259silsizin, \u00e7\u0131lpaq bald\u0131r\u0131n birisinin qolundan yap\u0131\u015far\u00bb Ana daxil\u0259n sevins\u0259 d\u0259, bu ist\u0259yin n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r qar\u015f\u0131l\u0131ql\u0131 oldu\u011funu bilm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn soru\u015fdu:
\n– Q\u0131z\u0131n fikrini \u00f6yr\u0259nmis\u0259n? Bu i\u015f\u0259 o nec\u0259 bax\u0131r?
\nO\u011flunun cavab\u0131 M\u0259rziyy\u0259ni a\u00e7mad\u0131, amma ona \u00fcr\u0259k-dir\u0259k verm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn dedi:
\n– S\u0259n narahat olma, m\u0259n anas\u0131 il\u0259 dan\u0131\u015faram. \u00c7al\u0131\u015f\u0131b q\u0131z\u0131 yola g\u0259tir\u0259rik.
\nAdilxan\u0131n q\u0259lbind\u0259 \u00fcmid q\u0131\u011f\u0131lc\u0131mlar\u0131 yand\u0131. Bir q\u0259d\u0259r \u00fcr\u0259yi sakitl\u0259\u015fdi. Evd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b \u018flifa\u011fagil\u0259 yolland\u0131.
\n***
\nZahir\u0259n sakit g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n \u018fziz\u0259 a\u011f\u0131r-a\u011f\u0131r evl\u0259rin\u0259 gets\u0259 d\u0259, Adilxanla s\u00f6hb\u0259tinin t\u0259siri alt\u0131nda idi. 24 ya\u015f\u0131 adlam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. B\u00fct\u00fcn canl\u0131lar kimi insan da \u00f6z n\u0259slini davam etdirm\u0259k qay\u011f\u0131s\u0131na qalmal\u0131d\u0131r. H\u0259r bir \u015f\u0259xs t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259y\u0259 d\u0259, m\u00fcsib\u0259t\u0259 d\u0259, d\u0259rd-\u0259l\u0259m\u0259 d\u0259 d\u00fc\u00e7ar ola bil\u0259r. Lakin t\u0259dric\u0259n g\u00fcl\u00fcr d\u0259, \u015fadlan\u0131r da, sevinir d\u0259. Ba\u015fqa c\u00fcr, sad\u0259c\u0259, m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyil. H\u0259yat\u0131n qanunu v\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259bidir. Ham\u0131 ail\u0259 qurmal\u0131d\u0131r. D\u00fcnyaya \u00f6vladlar g\u0259tirm\u0259li, onlar\u0131 boya-ba\u015fa \u00e7atd\u0131rmal\u0131, t\u0259hsil v\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259t verm\u0259li, yerb\u0259yer etm\u0259lidir.. \u018fziz\u0259 d\u0259 gec-tez \u0259r\u0259 ged\u0259c\u0259k. H\u0259zr\u0259ti M\u0259h\u0259mm\u0259d \u0259leyhiss\u0259lam\u0131n s\u00f6zl\u0259ridir: \u00abEvl\u0259nm\u0259y\u0259 qadir ola-ola evl\u0259nm\u0259y\u0259n k\u0259s m\u0259nd\u0259n (h\u00fcmm\u0259timd\u0259n) deyil\u00bb. Pey\u011f\u0259mb\u0259rimizin buyru\u011fundan o nec\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xa bil\u0259r?
\nOxucuma m\u0259lum olmayan bir m\u0259qama toxunmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m. Yad\u0131n\u0131zda varsa, \u018fziz\u0259 Bak\u0131dan k\u0259nd\u0259 qay\u0131danda yan\u0131nda bir g\u0259nc \u0259yl\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdi v\u0259 o, q\u0131za maraq g\u00f6st\u0259rirdi. \u018fziz\u0259 i\u015f\u0259 q\u0259bul olunanda burada h\u0259min g\u0259ncl\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131la\u015fd\u0131. S\u0259n dem\u0259, o, m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 fizika m\u00fc\u0259llimi i\u015fl\u0259yirmi\u015f. \u00d6z\u00fc qon\u015fu k\u0259ndd\u0259 \u2013 X\u0259l\u0259flid\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131. M\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259r ota\u011f\u0131nda, m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 ke\u00e7iril\u0259n t\u0259dbirl\u0259rd\u0259 birlikd\u0259 i\u015ftirak edirdil\u0259r. T\u0259bii ki, m\u00fc\u0259llim yolda\u015flar kimi s\u00f6hb\u0259t d\u0259 edirdil\u0259r. Vaxtil\u0259 laqeyd yana\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131, qeyri-ciddi sayd\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu g\u0259nc \u2013Natiq, s\u0259n dem\u0259, s\u0259mimi, son d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259 ciddi, \u00f6z ixtisas\u0131n\u0131 yax\u015f\u0131 bil\u0259n, \u015fagirdl\u0259r\u0259 qay\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 yana\u015fan insan imi\u015f. \u018fziz\u0259 h\u0259m d\u0259 hiss edirdi ki, Natiqd\u0259 ona qar\u015f\u0131 x\u00fcsusi maraq, ist\u0259k var. Q\u0131za do\u011fru can at\u0131r, onu g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 sevinir. Ba\u015fqalar\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r b\u00fcruz\u0259 verm\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fsa da, \u018fziz\u0259 s\u00f6vq-t\u0259bii il\u0259 bunu duyurdu.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 d\u0259 art\u0131q u\u015faq deyildi. Yaralar\u0131 qaysaq ba\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131. Ya\u015f\u0131 ke\u00e7irdi. G\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yi bar\u0259d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259li idi. K\u00f6rp\u0259 u\u015faq g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yi atlan\u0131rd\u0131. Mehrini day\u0131s\u0131 q\u0131z\u0131 P\u0259riy\u0259 salm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Onu \u00f6p\u00fcr, \u0259zizl\u0259yir, \u00f6z balas\u0131 kimi sevirdi. Lakin insan\u0131n yax\u0131n adamlar\u0131na sevgisi n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r q\u00fcvv\u0259tli olsa da, \u00f6vlada olan ist\u0259yin, m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259tin yerini ver\u0259 bilm\u0259zdi. \u018fziz\u0259 hiss edirdi ki, o da Natiq\u0259 bigan\u0259 deyil. Bunu, x\u00fcsus\u0259n, evd\u0259 sakitlik olanda, yaxud \u00e7arpay\u0131s\u0131na uzanark\u0259n ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc. Saatlarla g\u00f6zl\u0259rini tavana zill\u0259yib d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr, \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcb-bi\u00e7irdi. Natiq h\u0259l\u0259 ki, \u00fcr\u0259yini ona a\u00e7mam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 \u018fziz\u0259 yan\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131\u2026 Yox, ola bilm\u0259z. Hissl\u0259ri qad\u0131nlar\u0131 he\u00e7 vaxt aldatm\u0131r. Natiq onu sevirdi. \u018fr-arvada \u00abh\u0259yat-yolda\u015f\u0131\u00bb, \u00ab\u00f6m\u00fcr-g\u00fcn yolda\u015f\u0131\u00bb deyirl\u0259r. G\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n, onlar ail\u0259 qursalar, bu ke\u015fm\u0259ke\u015fli, \u00e7\u0259tin, t\u0259zadl\u0131, ziddiyy\u0259tli d\u00fcnyada, h\u0259yat\u0131n yollar\u0131nda \u00f6m\u00fcrl\u0259rinin ax\u0131r\u0131na kimi qo\u015fa add\u0131mlaya bil\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259rmi?
\nBu v\u0259 buna b\u0259nz\u0259r suallar \u018fziz\u0259ni rahat buraxm\u0131rd\u0131. Natiq susur, \u018fziz\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi. Onlardan biri susa-susa, dig\u0259ri g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259-g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259 qald\u0131\u011f\u0131 anlarda meydana Adilxan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Adilxan\u0131n ail\u0259si varl\u0131-karl\u0131 idi. \u018fziz\u0259 ona \u0259r\u0259 gets\u0259ydi, maddi c\u0259h\u0259td\u0259n \u00e7\u0259tinliyi olmayacaqd\u0131. C\u0259f\u0259rxanla M\u0259rziyy\u0259ni yax\u015f\u0131 adam deyirdil\u0259r. Amma Adilxan sabah\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259n, z\u0259hm\u0259t\u0259 ba\u011flanan deyildi. \u018fziz\u0259 onunla xo\u015fb\u0259xt olaca\u011f\u0131na inanm\u0131rd\u0131. Adilxanla ail\u0259 qurarsa, evd\u0259 onun k\u0259nizin\u0259 \u00e7evril\u0259c\u0259k, \u0259rinin ist\u0259yi, h\u00f6km\u00fc, irad\u0259si il\u0259 n\u0259f\u0259s alacaqd\u0131. Bel\u0259 h\u0259yat nec\u0259 d\u0259 d\u00f6z\u00fclm\u0259zdi. Atalar y\u00fcz \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcb – bir bi\u00e7irl\u0259r: \u00abNeyl\u0259yir\u0259m q\u0131z\u0131l te\u015fti ki, i\u00e7in\u0259 qan qusum\u00bb. H\u0259m d\u0259 o, Adilxan\u0131 sevmirdi v\u0259 he\u00e7 zaman sev\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 Fatma M\u0259rziyy\u0259 il\u0259 aralar\u0131ndak\u0131 s\u00f6hb\u0259ti q\u0131z\u0131na dan\u0131\u015fanda \u018fziz\u0259 dedi:
\n– Ana, biz ba\u015fqa-ba\u015fqa adamlar\u0131q.
\nM\u0259rziyy\u0259 o\u011flu Adilxan\u0131n \u018fziz\u0259ni ist\u0259diyini dey\u0259nd\u0259 Fatma buna sevinmi\u015fdi: \u00dcr\u0259yind\u0259: \u00ab\u015e\u00fck\u00fcr Allaha, ax\u0131r balam\u0131n da b\u0259xtin\u0259 g\u00fcn do\u011fdu. \u00d6z ev-e\u015fiyi olandan sonra a\u011fr\u0131-ac\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 da tamam unudar. Kas\u0131b\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n da\u015f\u0131n\u0131 da atar. O da g\u00fcn g\u00f6r\u0259r\u00bb, – dey\u0259 fikirl\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdi. M\u0259rziyy\u0259 xan\u0131ma da:
\n– M\u0259nim s\u00f6z\u00fcm yoxdur. Cavad da etiraz etm\u0259z, amma qoy q\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n fikrini \u00f6yr\u0259nim, – demi\u015fdi.
\n\u0130ndi \u018fziz\u0259nin cavab\u0131 onun qan\u0131n\u0131 qaraltd\u0131, q\u0259lbi yen\u0259 d\u0259 k\u0259d\u0259rl\u0259 doldu: \u00abYaman t\u0259rs q\u0131zd\u0131r, bu \u018fziz\u0259. Bilmir\u0259m, niy\u0259 sonalaya-sonalaya dayan\u0131b durub?!\u00bb
\n– Q\u0131z\u0131m, s\u0259n el\u0259 bilirs\u0259n, evl\u0259n\u0259nl\u0259rin ham\u0131s\u0131 bir-birini sevibl\u0259r? Atanla m\u0259n sevi\u015fib-evl\u0259nmi\u015fdik? M\u0259n\u0259 el\u00e7i g\u0259ldi. R\u0259hm\u0259tlik atam: \u00abAllah xeyir versin, bir q\u0131z bir o\u011flan\u0131nd\u0131r\u00bb,- deyib raz\u0131l\u0131q verdi. \u00d6z\u00fcn \u015fahids\u0259n ki, r\u0259hm\u0259tlik atanla aram\u0131zda birc\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 s\u00f6z-s\u00f6hb\u0259timiz olmay\u0131b.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 anas\u0131n\u0131n s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc yer\u0259 salmaq m\u0259cburiyy\u0259tind\u0259 qald\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn h\u0259dsiz s\u0131x\u0131laraq:
\n– Ana, \u00f6z\u00fcn bilirs\u0259n ki, s\u0259ni d\u00fcnyalar q\u0259d\u0259r sevir\u0259m. Amma incim\u0259, \u00fcr\u0259y\u0259 zor el\u0259m\u0259k olmur. Ba\u011f\u0131\u015fla m\u0259ni,- dedi v\u0259 g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 ax\u0131td\u0131.
\nFatma q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n xasiyy\u0259tini bildiyind\u0259n t\u0259kid etm\u0259di. Cavadla birlikd\u0259 onu birt\u0259h\u0259r dil\u0259 tuta bil\u0259rdil\u0259r, lakin sonradan bunun a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131n\u0131-ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0259k\u0259c\u0259kdil\u0259r. \u018fziz\u0259 gec-tez s\u0259hvini d\u00fcz\u0259ltm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015facaqd\u0131. Bu is\u0259 daha pis. Q\u0131z h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259lik b\u0259db\u0259xt olacaqd\u0131. Dul qad\u0131na kim yax\u0131n d\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259kdi? D\u00fc\u015fs\u0259ydi d\u0259 \u018fziz\u0259 bir daha \u0259r\u0259 getm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi. Bel\u0259c\u0259 cavan ik\u0259n h\u0259yat\u0131 pu\u00e7 olub ged\u0259c\u0259kdi.
\n***
\nM\u0259rziyy\u0259nin i\u015f\u0259 qar\u0131\u015fmas\u0131ndan da kar a\u015fmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259n Adilxan bir yerd\u0259 q\u0259rar tuta bilmirdi. \u018fvv\u0259ll\u0259r q\u0131zlara bir \u0259yl\u0259nc\u0259 kimi yana\u015fan, xo\u015funa g\u0259l\u0259nl\u0259rini tez yola g\u0259tir\u0259n Adilxan \u018fziz\u0259nin m\u00fcqavim\u0259ti qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda d\u0259li olmaq d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259sin\u0259 g\u0259lirdi. Odur ki, m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259n bir q\u0259d\u0259r aral\u0131da yerl\u0259\u015f\u0259n \u00e7ayxanadan y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fmaq bilmirdi. Burada oturar, q\u0131z m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xanda n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259ri il\u0259 onu evl\u0259rin\u0259 kimi \u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259rdi. \u015e\u0259n, qay\u011f\u0131s\u0131z Adilxan\u0131n g\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 d\u0259rin bir m\u0259yusluq, k\u0259d\u0259r, \u00fcmidsizlik \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Son zamanlardak\u0131 m\u00fc\u015fahid\u0259l\u0259ri onu lap cin at\u0131na mindirirdi. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 Natiqi \u018fziz\u0259 il\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259t ed\u0259n, onu yola salan g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Natiqin q\u0131za meyli vard\u0131. Bu a\u00e7\u0131q-ayd\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u018fziz\u0259 d\u0259 o\u011flana laqeyd deyildi, onunla mehriban davran\u0131r, arada g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yirdi. Adilxan bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259ni bel\u0259 qoya bilm\u0259zdi. Odur ki, bir d\u0259f\u0259 i\u015fd\u0259n sonra Natiqin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 k\u0259sdi. Natiq X\u0259l\u0259fli k\u0259ndin\u0259, evl\u0259rin\u0259 gedirdi. Adilxan s\u0259sind\u0259 sonsuz q\u0259z\u0259b:
\n– M\u00fc\u0259llim, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc yax\u015f\u0131 aparm\u0131rsan ha! \u2013 dey\u0259 ona h\u0259d\u0259-qorxu g\u0259ldi.
\nNatiq t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259 ona baxaraq \u00e7iyinl\u0259rini \u00e7\u0259kdi?
\n– Ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcr\u0259m, n\u0259yi n\u0259z\u0259rd\u0259 tutursan?
\nAdilxan \u0259s\u0259bi:
\n– S\u0259n bilirs\u0259n ki, o q\u0131z\u0131 m\u0259n ist\u0259yir\u0259m.
\n– Hans\u0131 q\u0131z\u0131?
\n– Guya x\u0259b\u0259rin yoxdur, \u018fziz\u0259ni deyir\u0259m.
\nNatiq \u00e7iyinl\u0259rini \u00e7\u0259kdi:
\n– Bunu m\u0259n\u0259 niy\u0259 deyirs\u0259n, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 des\u0259n\u0259\u2026 H\u0259, yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, m\u0259nc\u0259, demis\u0259n, cavab\u0131n\u0131 da alm\u0131san.
\nBunu e\u015fid\u0259n kimi Adilxan \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131:
\n– El\u0259 bilirs\u0259n, m\u0259nim cavab\u0131m\u0131 verm\u0259k asan i\u015fdir? M\u0259n ist\u0259y\u0259n q\u0131za yax\u0131n d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nin anas\u0131n\u0131 a\u011flar qoyaram.
\nNatiq \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn s\u0131nd\u0131rmad\u0131:
\n– H\u0259l\u0259 bilm\u0259k olmaz kimin anas\u0131 a\u011flar qalacaq.
\nAdilxan h\u0259d\u0259-qorxu g\u0259lm\u0259kd\u0259 davam edirdi:
\n– Bu k\u0259ndin cavanlar\u0131 \u00f6l\u00fcb b\u0259y\u0259m, X\u0259l\u0259flid\u0259n g\u0259lib burada q\u0131z dal\u0131na d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrs\u0259n?
\nNatiq onun \u00e7ox ba\u015f apard\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259r\u0259k:
\n– S\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn can\u0131n\u0131 de, s\u0259ninl\u0259 qurtaraq, – dedi.
\nAdilxan \u0259l-qolunu \u00f6l\u00e7\u0259r\u0259k:
\n– Bax, ax\u0131r\u0131nc\u0131 d\u0259f\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259rdarl\u0131q edir\u0259m, bir d\u0259 s\u0259ni o q\u0131zla g\u00f6rs\u0259m, m\u0259nd\u0259n incim\u0259.
\n– M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259n n\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n?
\nAdilxan q\u0259fl\u0259t\u0259n bir aya\u011f\u0131n\u0131 geri qoydu. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 ir\u0259li uzad\u0131b Natiq\u0259 bir k\u0259ll\u0259 vurdu. G\u00f6zl\u0259nilm\u0259z z\u0259rb\u0259d\u0259n Natiq s\u0259nd\u0259l\u0259yib y\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131. Qalxmaq ist\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 Adilxan onun \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 at\u0131ld\u0131, bir-iki yumruq da endirdi. Natiq sif\u0259tini tutdu. Adilxan bir-iki t\u0259pik d\u0259 vurdu. N\u00f6vb\u0259ti t\u0259piyi atanda Natiq onun aya\u011f\u0131ndan tutub dartd\u0131 v\u0259 onu yer\u0259 s\u0259rdi. Bir-iki yumruq da o vurdu. Onlar\u0131n yerd\u0259 s\u00fcp\u00fcrl\u0259\u015fdiyini g\u00f6r\u0259nl\u0259r qa\u00e7araq g\u0259ldil\u0259r v\u0259 g\u0259ncl\u0259ri aralad\u0131lar. Adilxan a\u011fz\u0131na dolmu\u015f qan\u0131 t\u00fcp\u00fcr\u0259r\u0259k Natiqi s\u00f6yd\u00fc:
\n– D\u00fcd\u00fck! Bilmirs\u0259n d\u0259rs deyir, yoxsa e\u015fqbazl\u0131q edir.
\n***
\nG\u00f6zl\u0259rinin alt\u0131 qarald\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan Natiq be\u015f-on g\u00fcn evd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xmad\u0131. C\u0259f\u0259rxan t\u0259dbirli adam idi. \u0130\u015fi yo\u011funlama\u011fa qoymad\u0131. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 a\u011fsaqqal g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb Natiqin atas\u0131 Sad\u0131qla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. O\u011flunun \u0259v\u0259zin\u0259 \u00fczrxahl\u0131q el\u0259di. Sad\u0131qla C\u0259f\u0259rxan\u0131n \u00e7oxdan tan\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 vard\u0131. Bir-birl\u0259rin\u0259 x\u0259tir-h\u00f6rm\u0259t qoyurdular. \u00c7ox s\u00f6z-s\u00f6hb\u0259td\u0259n sonra arada bar\u0131\u015f\u0131q oldu, i\u015f gedib milis\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xmad\u0131. Amma m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259r d\u0259, \u015fagirdl\u0259r d\u0259 ba\u015f vermi\u015f hadis\u0259d\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259r tutdular. Natiq m\u00fc\u0259llim bu r\u00fcsvay\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 m\u0259nliyin\u0259 s\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fd\u0131ra bilm\u0259diyind\u0259n m\u0259kt\u0259bi d\u0259yi\u015fib, \u00f6z k\u0259ndl\u0259rind\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259m\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi. Lakin \u018fziz\u0259d\u0259n ayr\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00e7\u0259tin olacaqd\u0131. Q\u0131z he\u00e7 c\u00fcr x\u0259yal\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0259kilmirdi.
\nNatiq \u0259riz\u0259sini yaz\u0131b m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 g\u0259ldi. \u018fhm\u0259dlinin kabinetin\u0259 ke\u00e7m\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi ki, \u018fziz\u0259 il\u0259 rastla\u015fd\u0131. Onunla salamla\u015fanda fikrini \u018fziz\u0259y\u0259 bildirdi. \u018fziz\u0259 i\u015fd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xma\u011f\u0131 ona m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t g\u00f6rm\u0259di:
\n– N\u0259 pis i\u015f tutubsan ki? Adilxan\u0131 da, s\u0259ni d\u0259 ham\u0131 tan\u0131y\u0131r. \u015e\u0259xs\u0259n m\u0259n m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t g\u00f6rm\u00fcr\u0259m.
\n\u018fziz\u0259nin r\u0259yi Natiq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u0259sas idi. Do\u011frudan da, ba\u015f vermi\u015f hadis\u0259d\u0259 o, g\u00fcnahkar deyildi. Sad\u0259c\u0259, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc m\u00fcdafi\u0259 etmi\u015fdi. M\u0259g\u0259r o, \u015fagirdl\u0259rin\u0259 haqlar\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259l\u0259b etm\u0259yi, z\u00fclm\u0259 ba\u015f \u0259ym\u0259m\u0259yi, \u0259dal\u0259tsizliy\u0259 d\u00f6zm\u0259m\u0259yi \u00f6yr\u0259tmirdi?
\nNatiq fikrind\u0259n da\u015f\u0131nd\u0131. \u018fziz\u0259nin ona d\u00fczg\u00fcn yol, qay\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259sind\u0259n m\u00fct\u0259\u0259ssir oldu. Yaranm\u0131\u015f v\u0259ziyy\u0259t onu c\u0259sar\u0259tli olma\u011fa \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131 v\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 hiss etm\u0259d\u0259n q\u0131za \u00fcr\u0259yini a\u00e7d\u0131. \u018fziz\u0259 onun t\u0259klifini sakitc\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131lad\u0131. Sanki bunu g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 salaraq:
\n– H\u0259l\u0259lik bir s\u00f6z dey\u0259 bilm\u0259r\u0259m. \u0130mkan ver, fikirl\u0259\u015fim, – dedi.
\n***
\nAdilxan sakitl\u0259\u015fm\u0259k bilmirdi. Odur ki, \u018flifa\u011fan\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qa\u00e7d\u0131:
\n– Q\u0131z \u0259ld\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xacaq, \u018flifa\u011fa. G\u00f6z\u00fcm g\u00f6r\u0259-g\u00f6r\u0259 o, Natiq\u0259 qis\u00acm\u0259t olacaq. Ondan sonra g\u0259r\u0259k k\u0259nd aras\u0131na \u00e7\u0131xmay\u0131m. Dey\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r: q\u0131z m\u0259ni b\u0259y\u0259nm\u0259di. F\u0259ras\u0259tim olmad\u0131. N\u0259 bilim, daha n\u0259 dey\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r.
\n\u018flifa\u011fa dostunun v\u0259ziyy\u0259tini ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u0259r\u0259k fikr\u0259 getdi v\u0259 n\u0259hay\u0259t, \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f yolu tapd\u0131:
\n– G\u0259l, q\u0131z\u0131 qa\u00e7\u0131raq!
\nAdilxan onun s\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259 il\u0259 yana\u015faraq:
\n– Nec\u0259 y\u0259ni qa\u00e7\u0131raq? Hara qa\u00e7\u0131raq?
\nBir q\u0259d\u0259r fikirl\u0259\u015fdikd\u0259n sonra yad\u0131na salaraq:
\n– Deyirs\u0259n rayon m\u0259rk\u0259zind\u0259ki ota\u011f\u0131ma aparaq? G\u0259lib tapacaq, \u0259limd\u0259n alacaqlar. Bundan ba\u015fqa, o boyda q\u0131z\u0131 nec\u0259 qa\u00e7\u0131raq? \u00d6z xo\u015funa ha biziml\u0259 getm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k, m\u00fcqavim\u0259t g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259c\u0259k, hay-k\u00fcy salacaq. B\u00fct\u00fcn k\u0259nd ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za y\u0131\u011f\u0131lacaq. D\u0259d\u0259m x\u0259b\u0259r tutub g\u0259ls\u0259, belimi s\u0131nd\u0131racaq.
\n\u018flifa\u011fa onunla raz\u0131la\u015fd\u0131:
\n– H\u0259, d\u00fcz deyirs\u0259n, bu i\u015fi bir az s\u0259ssiz g\u00f6rm\u0259k laz\u0131md\u0131r.
\nAdilxan kinay\u0259 il\u0259:
\n– Deyirs\u0259n, yatanda evind\u0259n o\u011furlayaq? Tacir \u018fsg\u0259r b\u0259yin adamlar\u0131 kimi? B\u0259s biz\u0259 kim k\u00f6m\u0259k ed\u0259c\u0259k? Cavad? Day\u0131s\u0131? Buna \u00fcmid ba\u011flamaq olmaz. Tutub \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc basarlar dama.
\n\u018flifa\u011fa dinl\u0259di. \u00c7ox d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcb-da\u015f\u0131nandan sonra:
\n– \u018fziz\u0259 h\u0259rd\u0259n d\u0259ft\u0259r, kitab almaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn rayon m\u0259rk\u0259zin\u0259 gedir. Ma\u015fina mindir\u0259 bils\u0259ydin\u2026
\n– O m\u0259nim ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131ma oturmaz. Natiq m\u00fc\u0259llimin qol-qab\u0131r\u011fas\u0131n\u0131 \u0259zi\u015fdir\u0259nd\u0259n sonra m\u0259nd\u0259n zind-z\u0259hl\u0259si gedir.
\n– Onda g\u0259r\u0259k avtobusdan d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259kl\u0259\u015fib basaq s\u0259nin ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131na. Milis\u0259 ili\u015fm\u0259s\u0259k, rayonda kimin n\u0259yin\u0259 laz\u0131md\u0131r kimi qa\u00e7\u0131r\u0131rlar, v\u0259 niy\u0259 qa\u00e7\u0131r\u0131rlar.
\n– Ma\u015f\u0131na mindir\u0259nd\u0259n sonra el\u0259 bilirs\u0259n sakitc\u0259 oturub biz\u0259 baxacaq?. T\u0259kba\u015f\u0131na onun \u0259l-qolunu tutub saxlaya bil\u0259rs\u0259n?
\n– Bir n\u0259f\u0259r d\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259k\u00e7i laz\u0131m olacaq.
\nAdilxan \u018flifa\u011fan\u0131n b\u0259rk-bo\u015flu\u011funu yoxlamaq m\u0259qs\u0259dil\u0259 dedi:
\n– Onu bilirs\u0259n ki, ili\u015fs\u0259k, q\u0131z \u015fikay\u0259t ets\u0259, m\u0259niml\u0259 bir yerd\u0259 sizi d\u0259 tutub damlayacaqlar?
\n\u018flifa\u011fan\u0131n r\u0259ngi a\u011fard\u0131 lakin \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc qorxaq g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259k ist\u0259mirdi. C\u0259f\u0259rxan onsuz da pul t\u00f6k\u00fcb onlar\u0131 qurtaracaqd\u0131. \u018fslind\u0259 \u018flifa\u011fan\u0131 bu i\u015f\u0259 vadar ed\u0259n dostluqdan \u00e7ox tamah\u0131, i\u015fin maddi t\u0259r\u0259fi idi. Bilirdi ki, Adilxan onun z\u0259hm\u0259tini n\u0259z\u0259r\u0259 alacaq, xeyli pul ver\u0259c\u0259k. Odur ki, dostluqda s\u0259daq\u0259tini g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn dedi:
\n– Dost yolunda boran olar, qar olar\u2026
\n– T\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 yolda\u015flar\u0131mdan birini d\u0259 g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259rik. Kim\u0259 5-10 manat vers\u0259m, y\u00fcy\u00fcr\u0259-y\u00fcy\u00fcr\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k. S\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259n ax\u015fama kimi ac\u0131ndan qar\u0131nlar\u0131n\u0131 qa\u015f\u0131y\u0131rlar.
\nBa\u015fqa \u0259lac qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Q\u0131z \u0259ld\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131. G\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb Natiq\u0259 vers\u0259l\u0259r, Adilxan n\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259kdi?
\n***
\nAdilxanla \u018flifa\u011fan\u0131n g\u00f6zl\u0259diyinin \u0259ksin\u0259 olaraq, \u018fziz\u0259 avtobusdan t\u0259k yox, anas\u0131 il\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Dostlar b\u0259rk dilxor oldular. Adilxan \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 deyindi:
\n– Bu mitil haradan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131?
\nFatma \u00f6t\u0259n dava-dala\u015fdan b\u0259rk dilxor olmu\u015fdu. Adilxan t\u0259rsin biri idi. Q\u0131zdan \u0259l \u00e7\u0259km\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi. Onun h\u0259d\u0259-qorxusu da qulaqlar\u0131na \u00e7atm\u0131\u015fd\u0131: \u00ab\u018fziz\u0259 ya m\u0259n\u0259 qism\u0259t olacaq, ya da he\u00e7 kim\u0259. Odur ki, Fatma arvad \u018fziz\u0259ni dayand\u0131r\u0131b: \u00abM\u0259n d\u0259 s\u0259ninl\u0259 gedir\u0259m, – dedi.
\nO, \u018fziz\u0259nin t\u0259k-t\u0259nha rayon m\u0259rk\u0259zin\u0259 getm\u0259sin\u0259 yol ver\u0259 bilm\u0259zdi. Cavada rayon m\u0259rk\u0259zind\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7 otaql\u0131 ev vermi\u015fdil\u0259r. Bir ay olard\u0131 ki, k\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcb yeni m\u0259nzil\u0259 y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. Cavad k\u0259ndd\u0259ki evini bac\u0131s\u0131na ba\u011f\u0131\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131: \u00abSa\u011fl\u0131qda ya\u015fay\u0131n, \u2026 arada g\u0259lib d\u0259y\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m. \u018flini yan\u0131na sal\u0131b oturma. Toyuq-c\u00fcc\u0259ni, mal-qaran\u0131 art\u0131r. Dolan\u0131n\u00bb, – demi\u015fdi.
\n***
\nAdilxan\u0131n ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 avtobus dayanaca\u011f\u0131ndan bir q\u0259d\u0259r k\u0259narda, a\u011fac\u0131n alt\u0131nda dayand\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan \u018fziz\u0259gil onlar\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u00fcrd\u00fc. T\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 yolda\u015flar\u0131 Q\u0259dir, Rauf v\u0259 Nazim Adilxan\u0131n ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131nda \u0259yl\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdil\u0259r. Adilxan q\u0131z\u0131 onlara ni\u015fan verdi. Dostlar d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb bir az aral\u0131dak\u0131 ma\u015f\u0131na oturdular.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 il\u0259 anas\u0131 add\u0131mlad\u0131qca Raufun idar\u0259 etdiyi ma\u015f\u0131n onlar\u0131 izl\u0259yirdi. He\u00e7 n\u0259d\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259ri olmayan ana-bala sakitc\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259t edir, arada yol boyu d\u00fcz\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f x\u0131rdavat ma\u011fazalar\u0131na yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131b bax\u0131r, m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tl\u0259\u015firdil\u0259r. Sonra ma\u011fazalardan birin\u0259 girdil\u0259r. Adilxan\u0131n dostlar\u0131 s\u0259birsizlikl\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131lar. M\u0259qam g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdil\u0259r ki, \u018fziz\u0259 t\u0259k qals\u0131n. Ana il\u0259 q\u0131z i\u00e7\u0259rid\u0259 l\u0259ngiyirdi. G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, n\u0259s\u0259 alacaqd\u0131lar. Fatma jaketi \u0259ynin\u0259 geyinib yoxlad\u0131, g\u00fczg\u00fcn\u00fcn qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na ke\u00e7di. \u018fziz\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fc \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn jaket alma\u011f\u0131 ona m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fc. Ana \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b pul sayanda \u018fziz\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6l\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Bundan g\u00f6z\u0259l f\u00fcrs\u0259t ola bilm\u0259zdi. Q\u0259dirl\u0259 Nazim ma\u015f\u0131ndan d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb sakitc\u0259 ona yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131lar. G\u00f6zl\u0259nilm\u0259d\u0259n qollar\u0131ndan yap\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. Yaranm\u0131\u015f q\u0259fil v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259n q\u0131z \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc itirdi, dili tutuldu, dizl\u0259ri \u0259sm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. Rauf ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 onlar\u0131n b\u0259rab\u0259rin\u0259 s\u00fcrd\u00fc. Naziml\u0259 Q\u0259dir q\u0131z\u0131, ma\u015f\u0131na it\u0259l\u0259dil\u0259r. Biri q\u0131z\u0131n sa\u011f, dig\u0259ri sol qolundan yap\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131 adamlar\u0131n n\u0259 m\u0259qs\u0259dl\u0259 onu ma\u015f\u0131na s\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fckl\u0259rini anlamayan \u018fziz\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rmaq ist\u0259di. Onda g\u00f6rd\u00fc ki, sa\u011f v\u0259 sol t\u0259r\u0259fl\u0259rd\u0259n b\u00f6yr\u00fcn\u0259 b\u0131\u00e7aq dir\u0259ndi.
\n– S\u0259sini \u00e7\u0131xarma! Qorxma, pis niyy\u0259timiz yoxdur. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc yax\u015f\u0131 aparsan, xo\u015fb\u0259xt olacaqsan. D\u0259lilik ets\u0259n, can\u0131n\u0131 tap\u015f\u0131racaqsan.
\nMa\u015f\u0131n asfalt yolla \u015f\u00fct\u00fcy\u00fcrd\u00fc\u2026
\n***
\nBa\u015f\u0131 pullar\u0131 sayma\u011fa qar\u0131\u015fan Fatma bir d\u0259 onda ay\u0131ld\u0131 ki, \u018fziz\u0259ni zorla ma\u015f\u0131na apar\u0131rlar. Pul v\u0259 jaket tutdu\u011fu \u0259ll\u0259ri bo\u015fald\u0131 v\u0259 el\u0259 ma\u011fazan\u0131n i\u00e7\u0259risind\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yi gedib yer\u0259 s\u0259rildi. \u0130\u00e7\u0259rid\u0259kil\u0259r bir-birl\u0259rin\u0259 d\u0259ydil\u0259r. Kimisi su dal\u0131nca qa\u00e7d\u0131, kimisi qollar\u0131ndan yap\u0131\u015f\u0131b Fatman\u0131 qald\u0131rma\u011fa, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259tirm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Ki\u015fil\u0259rd\u0259n iki n\u0259f\u0259ri c\u0259ld \u00f6zl\u0259rini \u00e7\u00f6l\u0259 atd\u0131. \u018fziz\u0259ni qa\u00e7\u0131ran ma\u015f\u0131n art\u0131q t\u0259rp\u0259nmi\u015fdi v\u0259 onun n\u00f6mr\u0259sini ay\u0131rd etm\u0259k d\u0259 qeyri-m\u00fcmk\u00fcn idi. Ma\u011fazan\u0131n arxas\u0131nda saxlad\u0131qlar\u0131 ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 i\u015f\u0259 sal\u0131b onlar\u0131n dal\u0131nca d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k d\u0259 art\u0131q gec idi. Odur ki, milis\u0259 z\u0259ng etdil\u0259r. \u018fziz\u0259 il\u0259 rayon m\u0259rk\u0259zin\u0259 ged\u0259n Fatma arvad k\u0259nd\u0259 t\u0259k-t\u0259nha qay\u0131tmal\u0131 oldu. Q\u0131z\u0131 qa\u00e7\u0131ran adamlar\u0131 g\u00f6rs\u0259 d\u0259, onlar\u0131 tan\u0131mam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. S\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fc d\u0259 tan\u0131\u015f deyildi.
\nFatma \u0259l\u00fcst\u00fc ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc ki, q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n qa\u00e7\u0131r\u0131lmas\u0131nda Adilxan\u0131n \u0259li var. Odur ki, ma\u011faza i\u015f\u00e7il\u0259rinin ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131nda milis \u015f\u00f6b\u0259sin\u0259 getdi. Ba\u015f\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259nl\u0259ri dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131.. Burdak\u0131lar\u0131n \u00abKimd\u0259n \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259nirs\u0259n\u00bb,- sual\u0131na \u00abbabal yuya bilm\u0259r\u0259m. Amma ax\u0131r vaxtlar Adilxan q\u0131z\u0131n g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fc qara el\u0259mi\u015fdi. Ondan \u0259l \u00e7\u0259kmirdi. Adilxandan savay\u0131 ba\u015fqa adama g\u00fcman\u0131m g\u0259lmir\u00bb – cavab\u0131n\u0131 verib h\u00f6nk\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u00abBa\u015f\u0131n\u0131za d\u00f6n\u00fcm, yetim q\u0131zd\u0131r. D\u0259rdi \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 b\u0259sdir. Atas\u0131n\u0131, qarda\u015f\u0131n\u0131 itirib. Adilxan ona toxunsa, q\u0131z \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 q\u0259sd ed\u0259c\u0259k. N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r gec deyil, balam\u0131 tap\u0131n\u00bb.
\nMilis i\u015f\u00e7il\u0259ri vaxt itirm\u0259d\u0259n Adilxan\u0131n oxudu\u011fu instituta getdil\u0259r. O d\u0259rsd\u0259 deyildi. Onu rayondak\u0131 m\u0259nzild\u0259 d\u0259 tapa bilm\u0259dil\u0259r. K\u0259nd\u0259 gedib C\u0259f\u0259rxanla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcl\u0259r, ba\u015f vermi\u015f hadis\u0259d\u0259n onu x\u0259b\u0259rdar etdil\u0259r. C\u0259f\u0259rxan, s\u00f6zs\u00fcz, bilirdi ki, \u00f6z xo\u015fu il\u0259 Adilxanla getdiyini q\u0131z bildirm\u0259s\u0259, o\u011flunu tutacaqlar. \u00dcst\u0259lik yolda\u015flar\u0131 da Adilxan\u0131n g\u00fcdaz\u0131na ged\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r. Odur ki, ma\u015f\u0131na minib rayon m\u0259rk\u0259zin\u0259 g\u0259ldi. A\u011fl\u0131 k\u0259s\u0259n yerl\u0259r\u0259 bir\u0259r-bir\u0259r d\u0259ydi, qohum-\u0259qr\u0259ban\u0131 sor\u011fu-suala tutdu. N\u0259hay\u0259t, \u0259libo\u015f, \u00fcmidsiz v\u0259 dilxor halda k\u0259nd\u0259 qay\u0131td\u0131. Daha \u00e7ox \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 ac\u0131\u011f\u0131 tutdu. \u00abBu q\u0259d\u0259r \u0259ll\u0259\u015fib-vuru\u015furam. Rahatl\u0131\u011f\u0131m, dincliyim yoxdur. N\u0259 xeyri?! Biri dustaqxanada, o biri d\u0259 avaral\u0131qla g\u00fcn ke\u00e7irir. Bu ya\u015f\u0131mda \u00fcst\u00fcm\u0259 milis g\u00f6nd\u0259rir. Papa\u011f\u0131m\u0131 yer\u0259 soxur. K\u0259ndd\u0259-k\u0259s\u0259kd\u0259 q\u0131z q\u0259h\u0259tdir? Guya ki, bu q\u0131z\u0131 almasa, d\u00fcnya da\u011f\u0131lacaq.
\nM\u0259rziyy\u0259 \u0259rini sakitl\u0259\u015fdirm\u0259k m\u0259qs\u0259dil\u0259:
\n– Narahat olma, ay ki\u015fi. B\u0259lk\u0259 he\u00e7 onun i\u015fi deyil. Lap tutaq ki: q\u0131z\u0131 o apar\u0131b, \u00e7\u0259tini yata\u011fa salana kimidir. A\u011fl\u0131 olan q\u0131z bakir\u0259liyini itir\u0259nd\u0259n sonra at\u0131l\u0131b-d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259z. Taleyin h\u00f6km\u00fcn\u0259 boyun \u0259y\u0259r. Adilxan\u0131 tutdurmaqla n\u0259 qazanacaq? Minn\u0259ti olsun, yolu\u011fun biridir. Bir h\u0259sirdir, bir M\u0259mm\u0259dn\u0259sir. He\u00e7 olmasa, bir g\u00fcn g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259k.
\nHirs C\u0259f\u0259rxan\u0131n t\u0259p\u0259sin\u0259 vurdu:
\n– Arvad n\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilirs\u0259n?! Qa\u00e7q\u0131n ail\u0259sidir. \u015eikay\u0259t olsa, atam\u0131 yand\u0131racaqlar. O\u011flun da \u0259lli-ayaql\u0131 ged\u0259c\u0259k.
\nM\u0259rziyy\u0259nin r\u0259ngi a\u011fard\u0131:
\n– Ay ki\u015fi, burada q\u0259bah\u0259tli n\u0259 var ki?\u2026 G\u0259d\u0259 evl\u0259nir d\u0259\u2026
\n– Ay arvad, lap o\u011flun kimi fikirl\u0259\u015firs\u0259n. Biri var, \u00f6z xo\u015funa, bir d\u0259 var zorla. F\u0259rq g\u00f6rm\u00fcrs\u0259n? Gedim milis idar\u0259sin\u0259. Deyim: \u00e7ox s\u0259s\u0259 salmas\u0131nlar. \u00d6z\u00fcm tap\u0131b g\u0259tir\u0259r\u0259m u\u015fa\u011f\u0131. S\u0259n get Fatman\u0131n yan\u0131na, dil\u0259 tut. De ki, bir q\u0131z bir o\u011flan\u0131nd\u0131r. Toxtas\u0131n, g\u00f6r\u0259k, bu i\u015fl\u0259rin ax\u0131r\u0131 nec\u0259 olur.
\nC\u0259f\u0259rxan milis r\u0259isini tan\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131. Al\u0131\u015f-veri\u015fl\u0259ri olmu\u015fdu. Odur ki, rayona gedib onunla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. R\u0259is \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc naza qoydu. Da\u015f at\u0131b ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 tutdu ki, qa\u00e7q\u0131n olmasayd\u0131, yen\u0259 bir \u0259ncam q\u0131lmaq olard\u0131. Bunlar\u0131n s\u0259si yuxar\u0131lara bel\u0259 gedib \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r. El\u0259 ki, r\u0259is ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ald\u0131, k\u00f6p\u00fc yatd\u0131: \u00ab\u018f, qa\u011fa, narahat olma. \u00d6l\u00fcm-itim olmay\u0131b ki. \u015eikay\u0259t olmasa \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc vurmar\u0131q\u00bb. S\u0259n d\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f ki, buralara g\u0259lm\u0259sinl\u0259r\u00bb.
\n***
\nMa\u015f\u0131n\u0131n el\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fckd\u0259 darvazan\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131lar. Ma\u015f\u0131n i\u00e7\u0259ri ke\u00e7\u0259n kimi d\u0259rhal darvazan\u0131 ba\u011flad\u0131lar. \u018fziz\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 geriy\u0259 \u0259yib hu\u015fsuz halda oturaca\u011fa s\u00f6yk\u0259nib qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. H\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 girdikl\u0259rind\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259r tutmad\u0131. D\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rmas\u0131n dey\u0259 yolda Q\u0259dir onun a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 tutub bihu\u015fdar\u0131 iyl\u0259tmi\u015fdi. \u0130ndi h\u0259r\u0259si bir qolundan yap\u0131\u015f\u0131b s\u0259rxo\u015f adamlar kimi onu i\u00e7\u0259ri apard\u0131lar. Otaqda onlar\u0131 Adilxan qar\u015f\u0131lad\u0131. O, q\u0131z\u0131n g\u0259lib \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcb d\u0259rind\u0259n n\u0259f\u0259s ald\u0131. Yolda h\u0259r n\u0259 des\u0259n ola bil\u0259rdi. Q\u0131z\u0131n izin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259rdil\u0259r. Ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 saxlatd\u0131r\u0131b onu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fcb aparard\u0131lar.
\n– Arxan\u0131zca d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n olmad\u0131 ki?
\n– Yox, h\u0259r \u015fey qaydas\u0131ndad\u0131r.
\nBunu Nazim dedi.
\n– Adilxan, rayonda toy sabahd\u0131r. Atamla anam birisi g\u00fcn g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r. O vaxta q\u0259d\u0259r g\u0259r\u0259k evi bo\u015faldasan.
\nBunu Rauf dedi. Sonra di\u015fl\u0259rini a\u011fardaraq, \u0259lav\u0259 etdi:
\n– H\u0259, dostum, indi s\u0259ni t\u0259rk edirik. \u018flin cibind\u0259 olsun.
\nBunu da Q\u0259dir dedi.
\nAdilxan onlar\u0131 yola sal\u0131b, a\u00e7arla ota\u011f\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ba\u011flad\u0131. Bir anl\u0131\u011fa stulda oturub \u00e7arpay\u0131da uzanm\u0131\u015f \u018fziz\u0259ni h\u0259sr\u0259t v\u0259 \u00fcmidl\u0259 s\u00fczm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. G\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 inana bilmirdi. D\u0259rdind\u0259n \u00f6ld\u00fcy\u00fc q\u0131z, bu vaxta q\u0259d\u0259r \u0259l\u00e7atmaz olan \u018fziz\u0259 indi onun yan\u0131nda, he\u00e7 kimin olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 t\u0259nha otaqda idi. Bayaqdan d\u0259rin nigaran\u00e7\u0131l\u0131q v\u0259 qorxu hissi ke\u00e7ir\u0259n Adilxan t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259 sovu\u015fdu\u011fundan sakit g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u018fziz\u0259 onun g\u00f6zl\u0259diyind\u0259n d\u0259 art\u0131q g\u00f6z\u0259l imi\u015f. Xurmay\u0131 sa\u00e7lar\u0131 yast\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 s\u0259p\u0259l\u0259nmi\u015fdi. Yuxuya getdiyind\u0259n g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259ki qorxu \u00e7\u0259kilmi\u015fdi. Lakin sif\u0259ti qay\u011f\u0131l\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. Sol \u0259lini sif\u0259tin\u0259 qoymu\u015f, sa\u011f qolu yan\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. \u0130ndi \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 bu hadis\u0259y\u0259 nec\u0259 baxacaqd\u0131? Q\u0131\u015fq\u0131racaq, s\u00f6y\u0259c\u0259k, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc yer\u0259 \u00e7\u0131rpacaq. Yoxsa taleyi il\u0259 bar\u0131\u015facaqd\u0131? Qa\u00e7\u0131r\u0131lan q\u0131zlar, ad\u0259t\u0259n, bir az at\u0131l\u0131b-d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr, sonra sakitl\u0259\u015firl\u0259r. Ev\u0259 qay\u0131tma\u011f\u0131 \u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 r\u00fcsvay\u00e7\u0131l\u0131q say\u0131rlar. Onlara kim inanacaq, qa\u00e7\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f q\u0131za kim el\u00e7i d\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259k?
\nAdilxan s\u0259hvmi, d\u00fczm\u00fc i\u015f g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc k\u0259sdir\u0259 bilmirdi. Onu anlay\u0131rd\u0131 ki, indi \u018fziz\u0259 onundur. Q\u0131z\u0131n geriy\u0259 yolu yoxdur. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc biab\u0131r etm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi ki. \u0130ndi k\u0259ndd\u0259 ham\u0131 bilir ki, onu qa\u00e7\u0131r\u0131blar. Ev\u0259 hans\u0131 \u00fczl\u0259 qay\u0131dacaqd\u0131? Raz\u0131 olsayd\u0131, d\u0259d\u0259-baba qaydas\u0131 il\u0259 \u0259r\u0259 ged\u0259rdi. Amma buna haqq\u0131 vard\u0131. Adilxan\u0131n bird\u0259n-bir\u0259 q\u0131za yaz\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u0259ldi. \u00d6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc q\u0131nad\u0131: \u00abD\u00fcz i\u015f g\u00f6rm\u0259dim. Evd\u0259 anam\u0131 da aldatd\u0131m. Dedim instituta gedir\u0259m\u00bb.
\nAdilxan \u018fziz\u0259nin hal\u0131na ac\u0131yaraq \u00e7arpay\u0131ya yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131b a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 \u0259yildi, onun \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259n \u00f6pd\u00fc. Buna b\u0259nd imi\u015f kimi \u018fziz\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rini a\u00e7d\u0131. \u018fvv\u0259lc\u0259 harada oldu\u011funu k\u0259sdir\u0259 bilm\u0259di, key-key Adilxan\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 baxd\u0131. Adilxan sevdiyi q\u0131z\u0131 bu g\u00fcn\u0259 sald\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bir anda acizl\u0259\u015fdi, yaz\u0131qla\u015fd\u0131. Ax\u0131 \u018fziz\u0259 buna layiq deyildi.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 yuxu g\u00f6r\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f kimi, baxd\u0131, baxd\u0131 v\u0259 yenid\u0259n g\u00f6zl\u0259rini yumdu. Adilxan bu d\u0259f\u0259 onun sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131\u011fallad\u0131. \u018fziz\u0259 dik at\u0131ld\u0131. Ba\u015f\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259nl\u0259ri yad\u0131na sal\u0131b q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rd\u0131:
\n– Bura harad\u0131r? M\u0259n haradayam? S\u0259n burada n\u0259 g\u0259zirs\u0259n?
\nSonra susub ac\u0131-ac\u0131 v\u0259 nifr\u0259tl\u0259 Adilxana baxd\u0131:
\n– M\u0259ni qa\u00e7\u0131r\u0131blar? S\u0259nin\u00e7in qa\u00e7\u0131r\u0131blar?
\n\u018fziz\u0259 \u00e7arpay\u0131dan s\u0131\u00e7ray\u0131b qap\u0131ya sar\u0131 qa\u00e7d\u0131. Dartd\u0131. Qap\u0131 ba\u011fl\u0131 idi. Geri qay\u0131d\u0131b amiran\u0259:
\n– Qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7! \u2013 dedi
\nAdilxan key-key dayan\u0131b bax\u0131r, dinmirdi.
\n– Dedim ki, qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7! A\u00e7m\u0131rsan? Bel\u0259 evl\u0259nirl\u0259r?
\nAdilxan dil\u0259 g\u0259ldi:
\n– Qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7aram. Be\u015f d\u0259qiq\u0259 \u0259yl\u0259\u015f, s\u00f6hb\u0259t ed\u0259k\u2026
\nQon\u015fu evd\u0259 ota\u011f\u0131n p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259si qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda bir qad\u0131n dayan\u0131b qula\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259y\u0259 s\u00f6yk\u0259mi\u015fdi. Dan\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 e\u015fitm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Q\u0131r\u0131q-s\u00f6k\u00fck s\u00f6zl\u0259rd\u0259n n\u0259s\u0259 ciddi hadis\u0259 ba\u015f verdiyini hiss edirdi. Bayaq ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131n h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 girdiyini d\u0259, iki g\u0259ncin bir q\u0131z\u0131n qollar\u0131na gir\u0259r\u0259k apard\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Bihu\u015fdar\u0131 verildiyind\u0259n \u018fziz\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259-s\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 deyildi. Odur ki, qad\u0131n onu s\u0259rxo\u015f bilib qaras\u0131nca deyinmi\u015fdi: \u00ab\u0130ndiki q\u0131zlar yaman xarab olublar. Ata-analar\u0131 ba\u015fl\u0131-ba\u015f\u0131na burax\u0131b bunlar\u0131, x\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259ri yoxdur haralarda veyill\u0259nirl\u0259r. G\u00f6r n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r i\u00e7ib ki, ayaq \u00fcst\u0259 dura bilmir. \u0130ki o\u011flan g\u00fccl\u0259 ev\u0259 apar\u0131r. \u0130ndi d\u0259 ev\u0259 sal\u0131b ba\u015f\u0131na pislik g\u0259tir\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r. \u00dc\u00e7 o\u011flan, bu da t\u0259k\u00bb.
\nAz sonra Rauf, Q\u0259dir, Nazim ma\u015f\u0131na minib getdikd\u0259n sonra maraq qad\u0131na g\u00fcc g\u0259ldi. P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259nin p\u0259rd\u0259sini azac\u0131q aralay\u0131b qon\u015fu evi n\u0259z\u0259rd\u0259n ke\u00e7irm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. Q\u0131z g\u00f6z\u0259 d\u0259ymirdi. Bir o\u011flan narahat halda otaqda var-g\u0259l edirdi. \u00abY\u0259qin q\u0131z\u0131 bunun\u00e7un g\u0259tiribl\u0259r. Yax\u015f\u0131, Rauf, \u0259lb\u0259t, anan g\u0259l\u0259r. O, olmayanda evi fahi\u015f\u0259xanaya nec\u0259 d\u00f6nd\u0259rdiyini ona dey\u0259r\u0259m\u00bb.
\nMaraq g\u00fcc g\u0259ldiyind\u0259n qad\u0131n p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259nin \u00f6n\u00fcnd\u0259n \u00e7\u0259kilm\u0259k bilmirdi. Bird\u0259n q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131q s\u0259si e\u015fitdi. Q\u0131z idi. \u00abh\u0259, ba\u015fland\u0131\u00bb. Daha niy\u0259 \u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131r\u0131rsan, o q\u0259d\u0259r i\u00e7\u0259nd\u0259 bilmirdin ki, basmarlayacaqlar?\u00bb.
\nAz sonra qad\u0131n yan\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Dey\u0259s\u0259n q\u0131z\u0131 qa\u00e7\u0131rm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. \u00abA\u2026a, m\u0259n d\u0259 yaz\u0131\u011f\u0131 su\u00e7lay\u0131rd\u0131m. Y\u0259qin d\u00f6y\u00fcb o g\u00fcn\u0259 sal\u0131blar. \u0130\u015fin ax\u0131r\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259yim, g\u00f6rs\u0259m ki, o\u011flan zora ke\u00e7di, milis\u0259 z\u0259ng vuraca\u011fam\u2026\u00bb
\n***
\n– E\u015fidir\u0259m s\u0259ni.
\nBunu \u018fziz\u0259 dedi. Adilxan a\u011f\u0131r-a\u011f\u0131r s\u00f6hb\u0259t\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131:
\n– \u018fziz\u0259, bilirs\u0259n ki, s\u0259ni sevir\u0259m\u2026
\n– Adilxan dem\u0259, s\u0259n d\u0259 sevm\u0259yi bacar\u0131rsanm\u0131\u015f\u2026 B\u0259s o \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259ki yoldan \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131\u011f\u0131n q\u0131zlar nec\u0259 oldu?
\nAdilxan cavab verm\u0259di. S\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 davam etdi:
\n– Onlar ba\u015fqa, s\u0259n ba\u015fqa\u2026
\n\u018fziz\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yayl\u0131\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 sil\u0259-sil\u0259:
\n– Ax\u0131 s\u0259n\u0259 demi\u015fdim ki, biz ba\u015fqa-ba\u015fqa adamlar\u0131q. Bizimki tutmaz. M\u0259ni niy\u0259 biab\u0131r edirs\u0259n? M\u0259nim d\u0259rdim \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 b\u0259sdir. \u0130ndi-indi \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 g\u0259lirdim. Natiq m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259 yumruq davas\u0131na \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131n. Onu da, m\u0259ni d\u0259 dil\u0259-di\u015f\u0259 sald\u0131n. O azm\u0131\u015f kimi, daha bir oyun \u00e7\u0131xartd\u0131n\u2026
\nAdilxan q\u0131z\u0131n g\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 baxmaqdan \u00e7\u0259kin\u0259r\u0259k:
\n– \u018fziz\u0259, m\u0259nim s\u0259n\u0259 olan m\u00fcnasib\u0259tim ciddidir. S\u0259nin anan da, day\u0131n da raz\u0131d\u0131r. M\u0259nim atam, anam da \u2026 Bilir\u0259m, s\u0259hv i\u015f tutmu\u015fam. Vallah, ist\u0259kd\u0259ndir. S\u0259ni itirm\u0259k ist\u0259m\u0259diyimd\u0259n bu a\u011f\u0131ls\u0131z i\u015fl\u0259r\u0259 ba\u015f qo\u015fdum.
\n– Etiraf\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259 \u00e7ox sa\u011f ol. \u0130ndi is\u0259 qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7, gedim.
\n– Bir d\u0259qiq\u0259 s\u0259brin olsun. \u0130ndi ham\u0131 bilir ki, s\u0259ni qa\u00e7\u0131r\u0131blar. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 bu da qism\u0259td\u0259ndir. M\u0259n s\u0259n\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 \u0259r olma\u011fa s\u00f6z verir\u0259m. T\u0259ki s\u0259n raz\u0131 ol. Gets\u0259n, h\u0259r\u0259nin a\u011fz\u0131ndan bir avaz g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k. El\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259 \u015f\u0259b\u0259d\u0259 qo\u015facaqlar.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 aya\u011fa qalx\u0131b \u0259li il\u0259 qap\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259rdi:
\n– A\u00e7.
\nAdilxan ir\u0259li yeriyib q\u0131z\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda diz \u00e7\u00f6kd\u00fc:
\n– S\u0131nd\u0131rma m\u0259ni, \u018fziz\u0259.
\n– Yox, Adilxan, n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r gec deyil m\u0259n getm\u0259liy\u0259m. G\u0259r\u0259k tutdu\u011fun i\u015fin n\u0259tic\u0259sini \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259d\u0259n fikirl\u0259\u015f\u0259ydin. \u00dcr\u0259y\u0259 zor el\u0259m\u0259k olmaz. G\u00fcnah\u0131n\u0131 yusan, s\u0259nd\u0259n \u015fikay\u0259t etm\u0259r\u0259m.
\nAdilxan\u0131n yatm\u0131\u015f vicdan\u0131 oyanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7ark\u0259n \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc \u018fziz\u0259y\u0259 tutaraq:
\n– El\u0259 is\u0259 s\u0259nd\u0259n bir xahi\u015fim var. G\u0259l, dost kimi ayr\u0131laq. \u0130st\u0259yir\u0259m, \u00f6z ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131mda s\u0259ni apar\u0131b Fatma xalaya t\u0259hvil ver\u0259m\u2026
\n***
\nFatma \u018fziz\u0259nin g\u0259ldiyini g\u00f6r\u00fcb aya\u011fa s\u0131\u00e7rad\u0131 v\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 atd\u0131. \u018fziz\u0259 Adilxan\u0131n ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131nda g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. G\u0259nc g\u00fcnahkar adamlar kimi bir k\u0259narda dayan\u0131b ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 dikmi\u015fdi. \u018fziz\u0259 Adilxan\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259r\u0259k:
\n– Ana, m\u0259ni Adilxan xilas etdi\u2026
\nFatma o\u011flana dil-a\u011f\u0131z el\u0259di. Adilxan bir s\u00f6z dem\u0259yib ma\u015f\u0131na mindi v\u0259 aya\u011f\u0131n\u0131 qaza basd\u0131\u2026
\nFatma: \u00ab\u018frimi, o\u011flumu, g\u0259linimi, evimi-e\u015fiyimi, do\u011fma yurdumu itirdiyim azm\u0131\u015f kimi q\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 da \u0259limd\u0259n ald\u0131lar\u00bb, – deyib sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 yolurdu. Q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 pis niyy\u0259tl\u0259 qa\u00e7\u0131rmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. Bunu bilirdi. O hans\u0131sa evin g\u0259lini olacaqd\u0131. Lakin \u00f6z arzusu, ist\u0259yi il\u0259 getm\u0259mi\u015fdi. Q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n xasiyy\u0259tini bilirdi. Madam ki, \u00f6z\u00fc ist\u0259m\u0259d\u0259n apar\u0131l\u0131b, m\u00fctl\u0259q b\u0259db\u0259xt olacaq. G\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259kli g\u00fcnl\u0259ri varm\u0131\u015f. \u0130lahi, n\u0259dir m\u0259nim g\u00fcnah\u0131m? \u00c7\u0259kdikl\u0259rim m\u0259g\u0259r azd\u0131r?\u00bb.
\n\u0130ndi q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 yenid\u0259n g\u00f6rd\u00fckd\u0259 allah\u0131na min \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr etdi. Tanr\u0131 onun giley-g\u00fczar\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fitmi\u015f, ona r\u0259hmi g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. Yox, allah h\u0259l\u0259 ondan tamam \u00fcz d\u00f6nd\u0259rm\u0259yib. S\u0259sini e\u015fidir.
\n\u018fziz\u0259ni duz kimi yalayan Fatma bird\u0259n ondan \u0259l \u00e7\u0259kib k\u0259tild\u0259 oturdu, k\u0259nardan q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 ba\u015fdan-aya\u011fa kimi s\u00fczm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. Q\u0131z\u0131na toxunulub-toxunulmad\u0131\u011f\u0131na \u0259min olmaq ist\u0259yirdi. B\u0259rind\u0259-b\u0259d\u0259nind\u0259, pal-paltarlar\u0131nda zorak\u0131l\u0131q \u0259lam\u0259tl\u0259ri axtar\u0131rd\u0131. \u00ab\u0130lahi, i\u015f\u0259 bir bax. Orada ev-e\u015fiyimizd\u0259n, can\u0131m\u0131zdan m\u0259hrum olub erm\u0259nil\u0259rd\u0259n namusumuzu qoruduq. Burada da \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcnk\u00fcl\u0259r bel\u0259\u2026\u00bb Q\u0131z\u0131ndan soru\u015fma\u011fa qorxdu. Anas\u0131n\u0131n narahat\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 duyan \u018fziz\u0259:
\n– Ana nigaran olma. M\u0259n\u0259 toxunan olmay\u0131b. Nec\u0259 aparm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar, \u00f6z xo\u015flar\u0131 il\u0259 d\u0259 buraxd\u0131lar.
\n– Bala, d\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc de, s\u0259ni Adilxan \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn qa\u00e7\u0131rm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar?
\n\u018fziz\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131 il\u0259 t\u0259sdiq etdi.
\n– Milisin d\u0259ym\u0259diyi yer qalmay\u0131b.
\n– Ana, milis\u0259 ehtiyac yoxdur. M\u0259n Adilxana s\u00f6z verdim ki, ona x\u0259t\u0259r d\u0259ym\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k. Biz, ax\u0131r ki, bir-birimizi ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fck. Onun m\u0259ni narahat etm\u0259y\u0259 daha c\u00fcr\u0259ti \u00e7atmaz.
\n– Bala, q\u0131z do\u011fulma\u011f\u0131n n\u0259 \u00e7ox d\u0259rd-s\u0259ri varm\u0131\u015f. N\u0259s\u0259\u2026 Y\u0259qin acm\u0131san\u2026
\n(ard\u0131 var)<\/p>\n




<\/p>\n

Yaz\u0131ya 793 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(\u201cAldanma s\u00f6zl\u0259r\u0259\u201d roman\u0131ndan) H\u0259t\u0259m ki\u015fi arvad\u0131n\u0131n qaras\u0131nca as\u0131b-k\u0259s\u0259n d\u0259m \u018fziz\u0259 direktorun ota\u011f\u0131na daxil oldu. Direktor \u018fhm\u0259dli pedaqoji i\u015fi sev\u0259n idi. Maarif yolunda candan des\u0259n, ke\u00e7\u0259rdi. Bu \u0259ld\u0259n-ayaqdan uzaq k\u0259nd m\u0259kt\u0259bind\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259r aras\u0131nda dedi-qodu ba\u015flayanda, \u015fikay\u0259t m\u0259ktublar\u0131 m\u00fcxt\u0259lif t\u0259\u015fkilatlara \u00fcz tutanda \u018fhm\u0259dli rayon m\u0259rk\u0259zind\u0259ki m\u0259kt\u0259bl\u0259rin hans\u0131ndasa d\u0259rs hiss\u0259 m\u00fcdiri v\u0259zif\u0259sind\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. T\u0259l\u0259bkard\u0131. G\u00fcnd\u0259liksiz bir m\u00fc\u0259llim bel\u0259 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10173"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10173"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10173\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10174,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10173\/revisions\/10174"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10173"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10173"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10173"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}