{"id":10201,"date":"2016-01-29T18:38:18","date_gmt":"2016-01-29T14:38:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=10201"},"modified":"2016-01-29T18:38:18","modified_gmt":"2016-01-29T14:38:18","slug":"akif-abbasov-bu-dunyada-m%c9%99n-ancaq-s%c9%99n%c9%99-h%c9%99sr%c9%99t-qalacagam","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=10201","title":{"rendered":"Akif ABBASOV – \u201cBu d\u00fcnyada m\u0259n ancaq S\u0259n\u0259 h\u0259sr\u0259t qalaca\u011fam…\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"AK\u0130F<\/a>(\u201cAldanma s\u00f6zl\u0259r\u0259\u201d roman\u0131ndan)<\/p>\n

(\u0259vv\u0259li var)<\/p>\n

B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 bir simli iki saz\u0131q biz,
\nS\u0259n qansan, m\u0259n \u00fcr\u0259k \u2013 ayr\u0131lmaz\u0131q biz
\nM\u0259mm\u0259d Araz<\/p>\n

\u018fsas \u018fziz\u0259nin fikri idi. G\u00f6zalt\u0131s\u0131 olsayd\u0131, dey\u0259rdi. Qal\u0131rd\u0131 anas\u0131n\u0131n xeyir-duas\u0131. Bu xeyir-duan\u0131 alaca\u011f\u0131na Natiqin \u015f\u0259kk-\u015f\u00fcbh\u0259si yox idi. Odur ki, son g\u00fcnl\u0259r o, \u0259l-alt\u0131ndan d\u00fckan-bazar\u0131 g\u0259zir, xeyir i\u015f \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn alaca\u011f\u0131 b\u0259zi \u015feyl\u0259ri qaralay\u0131rd\u0131. Evd\u0259kil\u0259r\u0259 h\u0259l\u0259 ki, bir s\u00f6z dem\u0259mi\u015fdi. M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259nin q\u0259ti h\u0259ll olunmas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi. Atas\u0131 bir yandan, anas\u0131 da bir yandan n\u0259 vaxtdand\u0131r arada Natiqin ad\u0131na n\u0259s\u0259 al\u0131b at\u0131rd\u0131lar. \u018fziz\u0259 sar\u0131dan nigaran\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00f6t\u00fcb ke\u00e7mi\u015fdi. Natiq onu sevdiyi kimi, o da Natiq\u0259 m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t b\u0259sl\u0259yirdi. Onlar evl\u0259n\u0259c\u0259k, can bir, q\u0259lb bir ya\u015fayacaqd\u0131lar. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 \u00f6vladlar\u0131 olacaq, onlar\u0131 b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u0259c\u0259k, s\u0259n\u0259t sahibi ed\u0259c\u0259k, evl\u0259ndir\u0259c\u0259k, \u0259r\u0259 ver\u0259c\u0259kdil\u0259r. Arzular t\u00fck\u0259nm\u0259k bilmir. Bir arzudan dig\u0259ri do\u011fur.
\nAx\u0131r vaxtlar Natiq \u018fziz\u0259d\u0259n \u00f6tr\u00fc dar\u0131xd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hiss edirdi. Bu hissi \u00f6z n\u00f6vb\u0259sind\u0259 \u018fziz\u0259 d\u0259 ke\u00e7irirdi. Natiq onun ikinci m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259ti idi. Do\u011fru deyirl\u0259rmi\u015f ki, ilk m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t u\u011fursuz olur. Sanki Allah-taala ilk m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259ti s\u0131naq kimi yarad\u0131b. Q\u0259sd\u0259n g\u0259ncl\u0259ri b\u0259rk\u0259-bo\u015fa sal\u0131r. Sevginin q\u0259drini bilm\u0259yi, m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t\u0259 \u0259yl\u0259nc\u0259 kimi baxmama\u011f\u0131 onlara \u00f6yr\u0259dir.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 s\u00f6vq-t\u0259bii il\u0259 hiss edirdi ki, Natiqin e\u015fqin\u0259 cavab verm\u0259kd\u0259 s\u0259hv etm\u0259yib. Onlar xo\u015fb\u0259xt olacaq, bir-birini \u00f6m\u00fcrl\u0259ri boyu ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259k, yaln\u0131z ail\u0259nin rifah\u0131 namin\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015facaqlar. Amma bunu da hiss edirdi ki, q\u0259lbinin d\u0259rinliyind\u0259 bir nisgil \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 m\u00f6hk\u0259m yer tutub. Onu a\u011fr\u0131d\u0131r, g\u00f6yn\u0259dir. Bu nisgili, a\u011fr\u0131n\u0131 q\u0259lbind\u0259n n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r qopar\u0131b atma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131sa, q\u00fcvv\u0259si \u00e7atm\u0131rd\u0131.
\nNatiq cavab g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi. Bu g\u00fcn-sabah k\u0259nd\u0259 qay\u0131dacaqd\u0131lar. \u018fziz\u0259 anas\u0131n\u0131n da fikrini \u00f6yr\u0259nm\u0259li idi. H\u0259l\u0259 o da Cavadla m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tl\u0259\u015f\u0259c\u0259kdi.
\nFatma arvad havas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00e7\u00f6l\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u018fziz\u0259 ona yana\u015f\u0131b boynunu qucaqlad\u0131, \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259n \u00f6p\u00fcb:
\n-Anacan, m\u0259n\u0259 xeyir-duan\u0131 verirs\u0259n?.
\nFatma arvad\u0131n \u0259l\u00fcst\u00fc dala\u011f\u0131 sancd\u0131. Ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc ki, s\u00f6hb\u0259t xeyir i\u015fd\u0259n gedir. Ne\u00e7\u0259 ill\u0259r idi ki, bunu g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi.
\n– A\u011f\u0131ll\u0131 balama qurban olum. Niy\u0259 vermir\u0259m?! M\u0259nim ist\u0259diyim s\u0259nin xo\u015fb\u0259xtliyin deyilmi?
\n\u018fziz\u0259 utana-utana:
\n– Natiq m\u00fc\u0259llim m\u0259n\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yini a\u00e7d\u0131. M\u0259n d\u0259 dedim anamla m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tl\u0259\u015fim\u2026
\n– Fatma Natiq m\u00fc\u0259llimi az-\u00e7ox tan\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131. Onu ba\u015f\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131, m\u0259rif\u0259tli, b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fcn-ki\u00e7iyin yerini bil\u0259n deyirdil\u0259r. \u018fsilli-k\u00f6kl\u00fc idi. Odur ki:
\n– Allah xeyir versin, q\u0131z\u0131m, – dedi- Xo\u015fb\u0259xt ol\u2026
\nFatma arvad c\u0259ld aya\u011fa qalx\u0131b:
\n– Qa\u00e7\u0131m, Cavad\u0131 mu\u015ftuluqlay\u0131m. Deyir \u018fziz\u0259nin toyunu \u00f6z\u00fcm ed\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m.
\nFatma arvad ota\u011fa ke\u00e7di. \u018fziz\u0259 eyvanda qald\u0131.
\n***
\nNatiq art\u0131q ne\u00e7\u0259nci d\u0259f\u0259 idi ki, rayon m\u0259rk\u0259zin\u0259 g\u0259lir, \u018fziz\u0259ni, g\u00f6rm\u0259k arzusu il\u0259 Cavad\u0131n ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 binan\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131ndan ke\u00e7ir, b\u0259z\u0259n d\u0259 binan\u0131n h\u0259nd\u0259v\u0259rind\u0259 dolan\u0131rd\u0131. Lakin \u018fziz\u0259ni g\u00f6rm\u0259k ona m\u00fcy\u0259ss\u0259r olmurdu. O, bu g\u00fcn d\u0259 rayonda idi. G\u00f6zl\u0259rini doland\u0131r\u0131b yuxar\u0131 baxanda, III m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259nin eyvan\u0131nda \u018fziz\u0259ni g\u00f6rd\u00fc. \u00dcr\u0259yi atland\u0131. Q\u0131z ba\u015fqa s\u0259mt\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131. Natiq \u018fziz\u0259nin diqq\u0259tini c\u0259lb etm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn dayan\u0131b g\u00f6zl\u0259di. Ax\u0131r ki, \u018fziz\u0259 onu g\u00f6rd\u00fc. Natiq \u0259l el\u0259di. \u018fziz\u0259 d\u0259, ona cavab verdi. Natiq \u0259linin i\u015far\u0259si il\u0259 ondan h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259yi xahi\u015f edirdi. \u018fziz\u0259 \u00e7iyinl\u0259rini \u00e7\u0259kdi. Natiq \u0259l \u00e7\u0259kmirdi. Bu vaxt Fatma arvad eyvana \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 qucaqlad\u0131:
\n– Day\u0131n da raz\u0131d\u0131r, q\u0131z\u0131m. Ki\u015fi sevindiyind\u0259n az qala qol g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb oynas\u0131n.
\nFatma arvad q\u0131z\u0131n fikrini da\u011f\u0131n\u0131q g\u00f6r\u00fcb \u0259trafa g\u00f6z g\u0259zdirdi v\u0259 Natiqi g\u00f6rd\u00fc: Astaca q\u0131z\u0131na:
\n– Paltar\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015f. D\u00fc\u015f a\u015fa\u011f\u0131, gedin, bir az g\u0259zin. Day\u0131na dey\u0259r\u0259m.
\n\u018fziz\u0259 anas\u0131n\u0131 ba\u011fr\u0131na bas\u0131b ota\u011fa ke\u00e7di.
\n***
\nYen\u0259 g\u00fcn\u0259\u015f do\u011facaq,
\nYen\u0259 ulduz axacaq.
\nBu d\u00fcnyada m\u0259n ancaq
\nS\u0259n\u0259 h\u0259sr\u0259t qalaca\u011fam
\nH\u0259s\u0259n Cabbar<\/p>\n

Natiqgild\u0259 el\u00e7iliy\u0259 haz\u0131rl\u0131q g\u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fc. Qohum-\u0259qr\u0259ba y\u0131\u011f\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tl\u0259\u015firdil\u0259r: el\u00e7iliy\u0259 kiml\u0259r getm\u0259lidir, n\u0259 aparmal\u0131d\u0131rlar.
\nBu s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259rin he\u00e7 birisi Natiqlik deyildi. Odur ki, geyinib \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Yaz t\u0259tili qurtarmaq \u00fczr\u0259 idi. M\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259r m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 y\u0131\u011f\u0131l\u0131b s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259\u015fir, i\u015fi olan i\u015fini g\u00f6r\u00fcr, i\u015fi olmayanlar h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259ki a\u011fac\u0131n alt\u0131na topla\u015f\u0131b, kimisi n\u0259rd, kimisi domino oynay\u0131rd\u0131. G\u0259z\u0259-g\u0259z\u0259 g\u0259lib m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. M\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259rl\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, n\u0259rd oynayanlara tama\u015fa etdi. Sonra idman meydan\u00e7as\u0131nda voleybol ba\u015fland\u0131. Natiq d\u0259 pis oynam\u0131rd\u0131. Onlara qo\u015fuldu. Natiqgilin komandas\u0131 2-1 hesab\u0131 il\u0259 qalib g\u0259ldi. Yuxar\u0131 sinif \u015fagirdl\u0259rind\u0259n d\u0259 b\u0259zil\u0259ri oyunda i\u015ftirak edirdi. Natiq pal-paltar\u0131n\u0131 qaydaya sal\u0131b yuyundu. M\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259rl\u0259 xudahafizl\u0259\u015fib yola d\u00fcz\u0259lmi\u015fdi ki, tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir g\u0259ncl\u0259 rastla\u015fd\u0131. O, m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 sar\u0131 gedirdi. Natiqin yan\u0131ndan \u00f6t\u0259nd\u0259 onunla salamla\u015fd\u0131. Bir-iki add\u0131m getmi\u015fdi ki, n\u0259s\u0259 fikirl\u0259\u015fib geri d\u00f6nd\u00fc. Natiq\u0259 m\u00fcraci\u0259tl\u0259..
\n– Ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n, sizi bir d\u0259qiq\u0259 olar?
\nNatiq ayaq saxlad\u0131. G\u0259nc s\u00f6z\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131:
\n– Siz m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yirsiniz?
\n– B\u0259li.
\n– M\u0259n \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259n g\u0259lmi\u015f\u0259m, m\u00fcxbir\u0259m. Bir tan\u0131\u015f q\u0131z\u0131n sora\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 g\u0259lb buraya \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fam. Dedil\u0259r ki, m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259llim i\u015fl\u0259yir.
\nNatiq s\u0131nay\u0131c\u0131 n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259rl\u0259 ona bax\u0131b, \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n soru\u015fdu: \u00abG\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n kimi n\u0259z\u0259rd\u0259 tutur?\u00bb
\nYad adam onun fikrini oxuyubmu\u015f kimi:
\n– \u018fziz\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259llim\u0259ni deyir\u0259m. Burada, bu m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yir?
\nNatiqin qan\u0131 qarald\u0131: \u00abBirc\u0259 bu \u0259skik idi? El\u00e7iliy\u0259 haz\u0131rla\u015fd\u0131qlar\u0131 bir vaxtda bu haradan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131?\u00bb
\n– B\u0259li, bu m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yir. Onun haqq\u0131nda m\u0259qal\u0259 yazmaq ist\u0259yirsiniz?
\n– Xeyr, biz tan\u0131\u015f\u0131q. Sad\u0259c\u0259, onu g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim. Evl\u0259rini tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 g\u0259ldim.
\nNatiq \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259: \u00abYax\u015f\u0131 ki, m\u0259niml\u0259 rastla\u015f\u0131b. M\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259r\u0259 m\u00fcraci\u0259t ets\u0259ydi, h\u0259r\u0259nin a\u011fl\u0131na bir fikir g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kdi\u00bb.
\nNatiq \u018fziz\u0259ni q\u0131sqand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 v\u0259 daxil\u0259n \u0259s\u0259bil\u0259\u015fdiyini hiss etdi.
\nBir t\u0259h\u0259r \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u0259l\u0259 alaraq:
\n– \u018fziz\u0259gil k\u0259ndd\u0259 yoxdur. Day\u0131s\u0131gil\u0259 gedibl\u0259r. N\u0259 s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz varsa, m\u0259n\u0259 deyin, \u00e7atd\u0131raram.
\nG\u0259nc dem\u0259k ist\u0259m\u0259di:
\n– Yox, siz\u0259 \u0259ziyy\u0259t olar. H\u0259m d\u0259 onun \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim. Natiq s\u00f6hb\u0259ti k\u0259sm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn:
\n– M\u0259n onun ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131yam. Dem\u0259li, m\u0259n\u0259 dey\u0259 bil\u0259rsiniz.
\nYad adam onun s\u00f6zl\u0259rini e\u015fidib t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb v\u0259 t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcfl\u0259:
\n– Ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131? – dey\u0259 soru\u015fdu.
\n– B\u0259li, ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Ax\u015fam t\u0259r\u0259fi idi. Rayon m\u0259rk\u0259zin\u0259 ged\u0259c\u0259k avtobus yola d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259 haz\u0131rla\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. \u018fziz\u0259nin k\u0259ndd\u0259 olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6yr\u0259n\u0259n yad adam avtobusun salonuna qalx\u0131b bo\u015f oturacaqlardan birind\u0259 \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdi. Natiq n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259ri il\u0259 avtobusu \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb Da\u015fl\u0131 k\u0259ndin\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f \u00fcz tutdu. T\u0259bi\u0259t\u0259n q\u0131sqanc olan Natiq d\u0259rin fikr\u0259 getmi\u015fdi. Yad adam onun qan\u0131n\u0131 b\u0259rk qaraltm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u00abBu nec\u0259 tan\u0131\u015fl\u0131qd\u0131? G\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n, aralar\u0131nda n\u0259 var ki, Bak\u0131dan durub k\u0259nd\u0259 g\u0259lib?!\u00bb
\nNatiq b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131 \u018fziz\u0259 il\u0259 ayd\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131rmal\u0131 idi. Q\u0131z\u0131n bir ne\u00e7\u0259 il \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259diyind\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259ri vard\u0131. G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, orada bu g\u0259ncl\u0259 mac\u0259ralar\u0131 olub.
\nNatiq n\u0259 vaxt ev\u0259 g\u0259lib \u00e7atd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilm\u0259di. \u018fmil\u0259ri, day\u0131lar\u0131 h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259 atas\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. N\u0259rd oynay\u0131r, limonlu \u00e7aydan i\u00e7irdil\u0259r. Qad\u0131nlar aynab\u0259ndd\u0259 idil\u0259r.
\nNatiq salam verib \u0259ynini d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ota\u011fa ke\u00e7di. Qohum-\u0259qr\u0259ba el\u00e7i getm\u0259y\u0259 haz\u0131rla\u015f\u0131rd\u0131, nam\u0259lum g\u0259nc is\u0259 \u018fziz\u0259ni axtar\u0131rd\u0131.
\n***
\nN\u0259hay\u0259t, h\u0259kiml\u0259r sonuncu d\u0259f\u0259 m\u00fcayin\u0259 edib h\u0259r \u015feyin qaydas\u0131nda oldu\u011funu \u00abO\u00bbna bildirdil\u0259r. Bir balaca aya\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kirdi. Dedil\u0259r ki, uza\u011f\u0131 be\u015f-on g\u00fcn\u0259 ke\u00e7ib ged\u0259r. Sif\u0259tind\u0259ki \u015f\u0131r\u0131mdan \u0259s\u0259r-\u0259lam\u0259t qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Aln\u0131nda sol t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259 is\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259r-g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259z iki-\u00fc\u00e7 santimetrlik bir x\u0259tt vard\u0131. Diqq\u0259tl\u0259 baxanda g\u00f6rm\u0259k olard\u0131. H\u0259kiml\u0259r otuz-q\u0131rx g\u00fcn dinc\u0259lm\u0259yi, a\u00e7\u0131q havada olma\u011f\u0131 ona m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t g\u00f6rd\u00fcl\u0259r. Ne\u00e7\u0259 ay idi ki, x\u0259st\u0259xanada yat\u0131rd\u0131. Sif\u0259tin\u0259 sar\u0131l\u0131q \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. \u00abO\u00bb, ev\u0259 d\u0259ydikd\u0259n sonra d\u00fckan-bazar\u0131 g\u0259zm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u0259 b\u0259zi \u015feyl\u0259r ald\u0131. Qad\u0131n pal-paltar\u0131, b\u0259z\u0259k-d\u00fcz\u0259yi g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u0259yi d\u0259, unutmad\u0131. \u018fziz\u0259d\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259r tuta bilm\u0259diyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn narahat idi. Onun atas\u0131n\u0131n, qarda\u015f\u0131n\u0131n, qarda\u015f\u0131 arvad\u0131n\u0131n erm\u0259nil\u0259r t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcld\u00fcy\u00fcnd\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259ri var idi. \u018fziz\u0259 onlar\u0131 he\u00e7 c\u00fcr unuda bilmirdi. Do\u011fmalar\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na g\u0259tiril\u0259n m\u00fcsib\u0259tl\u0259ri, onlar\u0131n nec\u0259 a\u011f\u0131r i\u015fg\u0259nc\u0259 v\u0259 t\u0259hqirl\u0259r\u0259 m\u0259ruz qald\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 xat\u0131rlayanda q\u0131z d\u0259li olmaq d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259sin\u0259 \u00e7atd\u0131rd\u0131. Bel\u0259 anlarda \u00abO\u00bb, q\u0131za t\u0259skinlik verir, onun d\u0259rdin\u0259 \u015f\u0259rik olur, bacard\u0131\u011f\u0131 q\u0259d\u0259r onun a\u011fr\u0131-ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131, iztirablar\u0131n\u0131 y\u00fcng\u00fcll\u0259\u015fdirm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Eyni zamanda \u00abO\u00bbda d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259n\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 q\u0259z\u0259b, nifr\u0259t hissi co\u015fub-da\u015f\u0131b, n\u0259hay\u0259t, intiqam g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fcn g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yin\u0259 \u00fcmid b\u0259sl\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k, sakitl\u0259\u015firdi.
\n\u018fziz\u0259nin dediyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, day\u0131s\u0131 k\u0259ndd\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131. O, \u00f6z bac\u0131s\u0131 Fatman\u0131-\u018fziz\u0259nin anas\u0131n\u0131 da qanad\u0131 alt\u0131na alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. B\u0259s onlar\u0131n \u00fcnvan\u0131n\u0131 nec\u0259 taps\u0131n? U\u015faq ba\u011f\u00e7as\u0131nda \u018fziz\u0259nin \u015f\u0259xsi i\u015fi var. Orada yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f olar. \u00abO\u00bb bu \u00fcmidl\u0259 kiray\u0259d\u0259 qald\u0131\u011f\u0131 m\u0259nzil\u0259 g\u0259ldi. Vanna ota\u011f\u0131na ke\u00e7ib \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259 du\u015f q\u0259bul el\u0259di. Sonra tavaya ya\u011f sal\u0131b do\u011frad\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6y-g\u00f6y\u0259rtini tavaya t\u00f6kd\u00fc. Bir q\u0259d\u0259r qovurandan sonra yumurta vurub s\u00fcfr\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259tirdi. Doyunca yedikd\u0259n sonra \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n qat\u0131q i\u00e7di. Burada \u2013 \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259rini qaydaya salmaq bir ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcn vaxt ald\u0131. M\u0259zuniyy\u0259t g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb t\u0259yyar\u0259y\u0259 oturdu.
\n***
\n\u00abO\u00bb, anas\u0131n\u0131 he\u00e7 c\u00fcr xat\u0131rlam\u0131rd\u0131, a\u011fl\u0131 k\u0259s\u0259nd\u0259n evd\u0259 atas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Arada bibisi g\u0259lib ged\u0259rdi. Atas\u0131 Q\u0259nb\u0259r \u015faqqal\u0131 ki\u015fi idi. Bak\u0131-Moskva qatar\u0131nda yol b\u0259l\u0259d\u00e7isi i\u015fl\u0259yirdi: tez-tez s\u0259f\u0259r\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131, bir h\u0259ft\u0259 yolda, bir h\u0259ft\u0259 evd\u0259 olard\u0131. S\u0259f\u0259r\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xanda \u00abO\u00bbnu bibisin\u0259 tap\u015f\u0131rard\u0131. Qay\u0131danda o\u011fluna pal-paltar, konfet g\u0259tir\u0259r, bac\u0131s\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259 arada n\u0259s\u0259 alard\u0131. \u00c7ox t\u00fcnd-m\u0259caz adam idi. \u00abO\u00bbnun: \u00abB\u0259s m\u0259nim anam yoxdur?\u00bb – sual\u0131na \u0259s\u0259bil\u0259\u015f\u0259r\u0259k:
\n– Yoxdur, \u00f6l\u00fcb, bildin? \u2013 dey\u0259rdi. Bel\u0259 anlarda \u00abO\u00bb, atas\u0131ndan b\u0259rk inciy\u0259r, onun ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015feyl\u0259r d\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n d\u00fc\u015f\u0259rdi. He\u00e7 olmasa bel\u0259 cavab verm\u0259y\u0259ydi. Atas\u0131 il\u0259 anas\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131nda bir vaxtlar n\u0259s\u0259 anla\u015f\u0131lmazl\u0131q, naraz\u0131l\u0131q olmu\u015fdursa, bunda \u00abO\u00bbnun g\u00fcnah\u0131 n\u0259 idi?!. Ax\u0131 o, qad\u0131n anas\u0131 idi. Onun bar\u0259sind\u0259 n\u0259zak\u0259tl\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmaq olmazd\u0131m\u0131? Alt\u0131-yeddi ya\u015flar\u0131nda idi. Q\u0259mb\u0259r bir g\u00fcn n\u00f6vb\u0259ti s\u0259f\u0259rd\u0259n geri d\u00f6n\u0259nd\u0259 ev\u0259 bir qad\u0131nla g\u0259ldi. \u00dcz\u00fcn\u00fc o\u011fluna tutaraq: \u00abBudur s\u0259nin anan! \u2013 dedi.
\n\u00abO\u00bb qad\u0131na baxd\u0131. Ona qan\u0131 qaynamad\u0131. Ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc ki, bu, onun anas\u0131 deyil. Qad\u0131n ir\u0259li yeriyib, \u00abO\u00bbnun ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131\u011fallayaraq: \u00abO\u011flum, ad\u0131n n\u0259dir?- dey\u0259 soru\u015fanda, \u00abO\u00bb qad\u0131n\u0131n \u0259lini geri it\u0259l\u0259di. Q\u0259mb\u0259r ir\u0259li yeriyib \u00abO\u00bbna bir \u015fill\u0259 vurdu.
\n– K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck, ana ist\u0259mirdin?
\n\u00abO\u00bb a\u011flay\u0131b qon\u015fu ota\u011fa ke\u00e7di.
\nBundan bel\u0259 Q\u0259mb\u0259r s\u0259f\u0259r\u0259 ged\u0259nd\u0259 \u00abO\u00bb, Naz\u0259ninin yan\u0131nda qalard\u0131. Anal\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 xo\u015flamasa da xo\u015f daranma\u011fa m\u0259cbur idi. Yoxsa g\u00fcn\u00fc lap qara g\u0259l\u0259rdi. Naz\u0259nini zahir\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc ana kimi aparsa da, \u00abO\u00bb, hiss edirdi ki, \u0259slind\u0259 onu sevmir. \u00dcst\u0259lik bir ki\u015fi, \u0259r kimi Q\u0259mb\u0259ri d\u0259 xo\u015flam\u0131r. Onunla tez-tez ixtilafa girirdi. Bu, ki\u015fini \u0259s\u0259bil\u0259\u015fdirirdi. Ba\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131 s\u00f6y\u00fc\u015f s\u00f6ym\u0259y\u0259. Ax\u0131r vaxtlar i\u00e7kiy\u0259 \u00f6yr\u0259nmi\u015fdi. S\u0259f\u0259rd\u0259 olark\u0259n Naz\u0259nin b\u0259z\u0259nib-d\u00fcz\u0259nib saatlarla yoxa \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131. Ev\u0259 qay\u0131danda is\u0259 kefi k\u00f6k g\u0259l\u0259rdi. Arada \u00abO\u00bb, qad\u0131ndan spirtli i\u00e7ki iyi g\u0259ldiyini hiss el\u0259mi\u015fdi. Taleyin h\u00f6km\u00fcn\u0259 burax\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131na baxmayaraq, b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn\u00fc \u00abO\u00bbnun \u0259lind\u0259n kitab d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcrd\u00fc. Art\u0131q onuncu sinifd\u0259 oxuyurdu. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 atas\u0131 s\u0259f\u0259r\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xmal\u0131 olmay\u0131b ev\u0259 qay\u0131td\u0131. Naz\u0259nin geyinib-ke\u00e7inib harasa getmi\u015fdi. Onu o\u011flundan soru\u015fdu. \u00abO\u00bb, \u00e7iyinl\u0259rini \u00e7\u0259kdi.
\nBir xeyli ke\u00e7di. Naz\u0259nin qay\u0131tmaq bilmirdi. Q\u0259nb\u0259r \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 yer tapm\u0131rd\u0131. \u00dcz\u00fcn\u00fc o\u011fluna tutub:
\n– M\u0259n s\u0259f\u0259rd\u0259 olanda \u2013 Naz\u0259nin ev\u0259 gec g\u0259lir? \u2013 dey\u0259 soru\u015fdu. \u00abO\u00bb, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 sal\u0131b dinm\u0259di. Q\u0259nb\u0259r daha da \u0259s\u0259bil\u0259\u015fib aya\u011fa qalxd\u0131 v\u0259 o\u011flunun a\u011fz\u0131na bir \u015fapalaq vuraraq:
\n– Niy\u0259 dinmirs\u0259n? S\u0259ninl\u0259 deyil\u0259m?
\nCan\u0131 bo\u011faz\u0131na y\u0131\u011f\u0131lm\u0131\u015f o\u011flan atas\u0131na bozard\u0131:
\n– K\u00fc\u00e7\u0259 qad\u0131n\u0131n\u0131n qolundan tutub ev\u0259 g\u0259tir\u0259nd\u0259 bilmirdin ax\u0131r\u0131 bel\u0259 olacaq?
\nO\u011flunun cavab\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fid\u0259n Q\u0259nb\u0259r daha da odland\u0131, lakin \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u0259l\u0259 al\u0131b eyvana \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Bu vaxt binan\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda bir ma\u015f\u0131n dayand\u0131. Naz\u0259nin ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131b d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, \u0259lini doda\u011f\u0131na apar\u0131b s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcy\u0259 \u00abhava\u00bb \u00f6p\u00fc\u015f\u00fc g\u00f6nd\u0259rdi. Ma\u015f\u0131n getdi.
\nQ\u0259nb\u0259r m\u0259nzilin qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131b g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi. Naz\u0259nin i\u00e7\u0259ri ke\u00e7di.
\n– B\u0131y, s\u0259n getm\u0259mis\u0259n?
\nQ\u0259nb\u0259r \u0259s\u0259bi:
\n– Ged\u0259nd\u0259 sevinirs\u0259n, h\u0259? \u018flin\u0259 gir\u0259v\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr? Haradasan bu vaxta q\u0259d\u0259r? Saat bilirs\u0259n ne\u00e7\u0259dir \u2013 on iki.
\nNaz\u0259nin \u015firin dilini i\u015f\u0259 salaraq:
\n– \u018fzizim, havam\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m.
\nQ\u0259nb\u0259r \u0259s\u0259bi:
\n– M\u0259nzild\u0259 havan \u00e7atm\u0131r? O ki\u015fi kim idi?
\n– Kim olacaq? Yol adam\u0131\u2026 \u018fl saxlay\u0131b oturdum. Ev\u0259 piyada g\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdim ki?
\n– S\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcl\u0259rin ham\u0131s\u0131na \u00abhava\u00bb \u00f6p\u00fc\u015f\u00fc yollay\u0131rsan? Harada i\u00e7mis\u0259n?
\n– Ba\u015f\u0131m a\u011fr\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131. Kafey\u0259 girib, dondurma il\u0259 \u015fampan \u015f\u0259rab\u0131 i\u00e7dim\u2026
\nBu zaman telefon z\u0259ng \u00e7ald\u0131. Q\u0259nb\u0259r d\u0259st\u0259yi qald\u0131r\u0131b s\u0259sini \u00e7\u0131xarmad\u0131, g\u00f6zl\u0259di. Telefondan s\u0259s g\u0259ldi:
\n– Naz\u0259nin, \u0259zizim\u2026
\nQ\u0259nb\u0259r hirsl\u0259 d\u0259st\u0259yi tullay\u0131b \u00fcr\u0259yini tutdu. T\u0259cili yardma z\u0259ng \u00e7ald\u0131lar. G\u0259lib onu x\u0259st\u0259xanaya apard\u0131lar. Q\u0259nb\u0259r infakt ke\u00e7irmi\u015fdi.
\n***
\nNaz\u0259nin evd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b getmi\u015fdi. Bir ay \u0259rzind\u0259 atas\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131na \u00abO\u00bb gedib-g\u0259ldi. Q\u0259mb\u0259r tamam d\u0259yi\u015fmi\u015fdi. O\u011flunu mehriban dindirir, h\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 onu g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259ri dolurdu. Sanki indiy\u0259 kimi ona \u0259sl atal\u0131q etm\u0259diyinin pe\u015fman\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kirdi. Ev\u0259 qay\u0131dandan sonra i\u015fini d\u0259 d\u0259yi\u015fdi. H\u0259m o\u011flundan tez-tez ayr\u0131lmaq ist\u0259mirdi, h\u0259m d\u0259 h\u0259kiml\u0259r yol b\u0259l\u0259d\u00e7isi kimi i\u015fl\u0259m\u0259yi ona m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t g\u00f6rm\u00fcrd\u00fcl\u0259r.
\nLakin Q\u0259nb\u0259r xeyli d\u0259yi\u015fs\u0259 d\u0259 bir pis v\u0259rdi\u015fini t\u0259rgid\u0259 bilmirdi. Ara\u011f\u0131 qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na qoyur, hey i\u00e7ir, i\u00e7dikc\u0259 a\u011flay\u0131r, a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 \u00abO\u00bb yan\u0131na \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131b: \u00abO\u011ful, m\u0259nim hay\u0131m gedib, vay\u0131m qal\u0131b. Bu i\u00e7kid\u0259n \u0259l \u00e7\u0259k\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m. \u00dcr\u0259yim\u0259 dam\u0131b ki, bu d\u00fcnyada bu g\u00fcn \u2013 sabahl\u0131q qona\u011fam. \u00dcr\u0259yim heyi k\u0259silib. K\u00fcr\u0259yimin sol t\u0259r\u0259fi el\u0259 bil de\u015filir. Otur, bu vaxta q\u0259d\u0259r bilm\u0259dikl\u0259rini s\u0259n\u0259 s\u00f6yl\u0259yim. M\u0259nd\u0259n anan\u0131 soru\u015furdun, s\u0259n\u0259 ac\u0131 cavab verirdim. O \u00e7ox ism\u0259tli, v\u0259fal\u0131 qad\u0131n idi. Biz bir-birimizi \u00e7ox sevirdik. Anan mehriban, istiqanl\u0131 qad\u0131n idi. M\u0259n\u0259 h\u00f6rm\u0259tl\u0259 yana\u015far, n\u00fcfuzumu h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259, h\u0259r yanda g\u00f6zl\u0259rdi v\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 da diqq\u0259t t\u0259l\u0259b edirdi. \u00d6z l\u0259yaq\u0259tini h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 uca tutard\u0131. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 a\u011f\u0131ls\u0131z bir i\u015f tutdum. Buna g\u00f6r\u0259 anan m\u0259nd\u0259n m\u00f6hk\u0259m incidi. V\u0259 \u00f6mr\u00fcm boyu o s\u0259hvimin a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131n\u0131, \u0259ziyy\u0259tini \u00e7\u0259kdim. Anan m\u0259ni t\u0259rk etdi. M\u0259n a\u011f\u0131ls\u0131zl\u0131q etmi\u015fdim, o da m\u0259niml\u0259 amans\u0131z davrand\u0131. M\u0259ni ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamad\u0131. M\u0259n d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n b\u0259dg\u00fcman adam idim. A\u011f\u0131ls\u0131zl\u0131\u011fa \u0259yilm\u0259k ist\u0259m\u0259dim v\u0259 bu d\u0259f\u0259 ikinci d\u0259f\u0259 s\u0259hv etdim.
\n– Dem\u0259li, anam m\u0259ni at\u0131b getdi?
\n– Yox, onda s\u0259n anadan olmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131n?
\n– B\u0259s nec\u0259 oldu ki, m\u0259n anam\u0131n deyil, s\u0259nin yan\u0131nda qald\u0131m?
\nQ\u0259nb\u0259r ki\u015fi ah \u00e7\u0259k\u0259r\u0259k:
\n– Anan do\u011fum evind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xandan sonra onlara gedib s\u0259ni t\u0259l\u0259b etdim. \u00c7ox dava-dala\u015fdan sonra u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 verdi. \u015e\u0259rt k\u0259sdi ki, bir daha m\u0259nim \u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc g\u00f6rm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k. S\u0259ni itirm\u0259yi tez bir zamanda ax\u0131r\u0131na \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. K\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcb harasa getdil\u0259r. Bir daha onu g\u00f6rm\u0259dim. Bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t sonra e\u015fitdim ki, v\u0259fat edib.
\n– Ayr\u0131lma\u011f\u0131n\u0131za s\u0259b\u0259b n\u0259 oldu?
\nQ\u0259nb\u0259r ki\u015finin n\u0259f\u0259si darald\u0131. Onu \u00f6sk\u00fcr\u0259k tutdu. \u00abO\u00bb hiss etdi ki, bu bar\u0259d\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmaq onun\u00e7un \u00e7\u0259tindir. Odur ki, t\u0259kid etm\u0259di. Fikirl\u0259\u015fdi ki, \u00f6z\u00fc bir g\u00fcn dan\u0131\u015far.
\nQ\u0259nb\u0259r ki\u015fi onun fikrini oxuyurmu\u015f kimi:
\n– Bu \u0259hvalat\u0131 indi s\u0259n\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmayaca\u011fam. Stolumun g\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 g\u00fcnd\u0259liyim var. Orada h\u0259r \u015feyi yazm\u0131\u015fam. Amma s\u00f6z ver ki, m\u0259n onu \u00f6l\u0259nd\u0259n sonra oxuyacaqsan\u2026
\n\u00abO\u00bb, atas\u0131n\u0131n v\u0259ziyy\u0259tini anlayaraq onu sakitl\u0259\u015fdirm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn:
\n– Yax\u015f\u0131, ata, yax\u015f\u0131, \u2013 dedi.
\nQ\u0259nb\u0259r ki\u015finin g\u00f6zl\u0259ri ya\u015farm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. O, penc\u0259yinin qoltuq cibind\u0259n bir \u015f\u0259kil \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b \u00f6pd\u00fc v\u0259 o\u011fluna uzatd\u0131:
\n– Anan\u0131n \u015f\u0259klidir, o\u011ful. \u00abO\u00bb, sevilm\u0259y\u0259 layiq qad\u0131n idi. S\u0259n onu t\u0259qsirli bilm\u0259. G\u00fcnah\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131 m\u0259nd\u0259dir. \u0130nsan b\u0259z\u0259n birc\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 s\u0259hv\u0259 yol verir v\u0259 bu s\u0259hv onun b\u00fct\u00fcn h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131n c\u0259h\u0259nn\u0259m\u0259 d\u00f6nm\u0259si \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn b\u0259s edir. M\u0259nim s\u0259hvim al\u0259mi da\u011f\u0131td\u0131, s\u0259ni anas\u0131z qoydu. Anan Saran\u0131n cavan can\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fctd\u00fc. Bax bel\u0259, o\u011ful. M\u0259ni ba\u011f\u0131\u015fla. H\u0259m d\u0259, fikirl\u0259\u015fm\u0259 ki, anan s\u0259n\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 amans\u0131z olub, s\u0259ninl\u0259 maraqlanmay\u0131b, s\u0259ni at\u0131b gedib. Yox!
\n***
\nT\u0259yyar\u0259 Bak\u0131ya yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131qca \u00abO\u00bbnun \u00fcr\u0259yi u\u00e7unurdu. H\u0259y\u0259can\u0131 get-ged\u0259 art\u0131rd\u0131. Xeyli vaxt idi ki, v\u0259t\u0259nd\u0259n ayr\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Ged\u0259nd\u0259 \u018fziz\u0259 burada qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Tezlikl\u0259 qay\u0131daca\u011f\u0131n\u0131, ail\u0259 quracaqlar\u0131n\u0131 v\u0259d etmi\u015fdi. \u0130ndi \u015f\u0259h\u0259r \u018fziz\u0259siz n\u0259f\u0259s al\u0131rd\u0131. Lakin \u018fziz\u0259ni tapaca\u011f\u0131na \u00fcmid b\u0259sl\u0259yir, bir daha onunla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259yin\u0259 inan\u0131rd\u0131. Bu \u00fcmidl\u0259 d\u0259 ert\u0259si g\u00fcn u\u015faq ba\u011f\u00e7as\u0131na yolland\u0131. Badam xan\u0131mla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb \u018fziz\u0259nin \u00fcnvan\u0131n\u0131 ist\u0259di. Qad\u0131n\u0131n maraq g\u00f6st\u0259rdiyini g\u00f6r\u00fcb m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259ni a\u00e7d\u0131. Onu sevdiyini, \u018fziz\u0259nin d\u0259 onun m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259tin\u0259 cavab verdiyini dedi. \u018flav\u0259 etdi ki, indi bilmir onu nec\u0259 taps\u0131n. Badam xan\u0131m da \u00e7ox d\u0259rin\u0259 getm\u0259di. G\u0259nc dan\u0131\u015fark\u0259n onu diqq\u0259tl\u0259 n\u0259z\u0259rd\u0259n ke\u00e7irmi\u015f v\u0259 onun s\u00f6z\u00fcn d\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc s\u00f6yl\u0259diyin\u0259 \u0259min olmu\u015fdu.. Cavan o\u011flan s\u0259mimi t\u0259sir ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131.
\nBadam xan\u0131m \u018fziz\u0259nin \u015f\u0259xsi i\u015fini g\u0259tirtdi. V\u0259r\u0259ql\u0259yib ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qald\u0131rd\u0131. T\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf hissi il\u0259 g\u0259nc\u0259 baxaraq:
\n– Heyf ki, siz\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259k ed\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m. Burada ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u0259ndin ad\u0131 yaz\u0131lmay\u0131b. T\u0259hsil ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 ali m\u0259kt\u0259bin yataqxanas\u0131nda qeydiyyatda olub.
\n\u00abO\u00bbnun tutuldu\u011funu g\u00f6r\u00fcb:
\n– Amma narahat olmay\u0131n. Ke\u00e7\u0259n d\u0259f\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 z\u0259ng etmi\u015fdi. \u00dcmidimizi k\u0259sm\u0259y\u0259k. Dedi, yen\u0259 \u0259laq\u0259 saxlayacaq. Arada d\u0259y\u0259rsiniz.
\n– \u00abO\u00bb, xudahafizl\u0259\u015fib \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Badam xan\u0131m \u018fziz\u0259 il\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259tini, onun bird\u0259n-bir\u0259 i\u015fd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xmaq ist\u0259diyini xat\u0131rlay\u0131b ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc ki, buna \u0259sas s\u0259b\u0259b anas\u0131 deyilmi\u015f. G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, bu g\u0259ncl\u0259 aralar\u0131nda n\u0259s\u0259 anla\u015f\u0131lmazl\u0131q olub. Cavanlara k\u00f6m\u0259k etm\u0259k laz\u0131md\u0131r. Bu g\u0259nc d\u0259 pis o\u011flana ox\u015fam\u0131r. Bir-birl\u0259rin\u0259 yara\u015f\u0131rlar. Aradan bir ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcn ke\u00e7di. \u00abO\u00bb, d\u00f6z\u0259 bilm\u0259yib u\u015faq ba\u011f\u00e7as\u0131na getdi. U\u015faqlar h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259 oynay\u0131rd\u0131lar. T\u0259rbiy\u0259\u00e7il\u0259r oturacaqlarda \u0259yl\u0259\u015fib s\u00f6hb\u0259t edir, eyni zamanda u\u015faqlara g\u00f6z qoyurdular. \u00abO\u00bb u\u015faq ba\u011f\u00e7as\u0131n\u0131n h\u0259y\u0259tin\u0259 girib t\u0259rbiy\u0259\u00e7il\u0259r\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131 v\u0259 Badam xan\u0131m\u0131 soru\u015fdu. Dedil\u0259r ki, kabinetind\u0259dir. Onlara minn\u0259tdarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bildirib getm\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 bir d\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fc ki, 6 ya\u015flar\u0131nda bir q\u0131z qaran\u0259f\u0259s ona sar\u0131 qa\u00e7\u0131r. \u00abO\u00bb, ayaq saxlad\u0131. T\u0259rbiy\u0259\u00e7il\u0259rin t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u00fc n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259ri alt\u0131nda \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u00abO\u00bbnun \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 at\u0131b ucadan:
\n– Ata! Ata! dey\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131b h\u00f6nk\u00fcrd\u00fc.
\n\u00abO\u00bb \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc itirdi, lakin q\u0131z\u0131n v\u0259ziyy\u0259tini n\u0259z\u0259r\u0259 al\u0131b onu qucaqlad\u0131.
\n– Atacan! Bilirdim ki, g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n! Bilirdim!
\n– \u00abO\u00bb, q\u0131z\u0131 quca\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb ba\u011fr\u0131na basd\u0131.
\nQ\u0131z sakitl\u0259\u015fm\u0259k bilmir, \u0259li il\u0259 \u00abO\u00bbnun sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 tumarlay\u0131b, yoxlay\u0131rm\u0131\u015f kimi sif\u0259tind\u0259 g\u0259zdirirdi.
\nT\u0259rbiy\u0259\u00e7il\u0259r c\u0259ld onlara sar\u0131 qa\u00e7d\u0131lar. Ayt\u0259n m\u00fc\u0259llim q\u0131z\u0131 g\u0259ncd\u0259n almaq ist\u0259di, q\u0131z aralanmad\u0131. Ayt\u0259n xan\u0131m:
\n– Arzu, q\u0131z\u0131m, s\u0259n\u0259 n\u0259 olub?
\nArzu sakitl\u0259\u015fm\u0259k bilmirdi.
\n– Bu m\u0259nim atamd\u0131r. Ged\u0259k ev\u0259, anam daha a\u011flamaz \u2026
\n\u00abO\u00bb, \u00e7a\u015f\u0131b qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Q\u0131z quca\u011f\u0131ndan yer\u0259 qoya bilmirdi. H\u0259y\u0259candan q\u0131z u\u00e7unurdu. Bird\u0259n \u2026 \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n getdi. T\u0259rbiy\u0259\u00e7il\u0259r tez i\u00e7\u0259ri ke\u00e7ib t\u0259cili yard\u0131ma z\u0259ng vurdular. Badam xan\u0131mla u\u015faq ba\u011f\u00e7as\u0131n\u0131n h\u0259kimi qa\u00e7araq g\u0259ldil\u0259r. \u00abO\u00bb, oturacaqda \u0259yl\u0259\u015f\u0259r\u0259k, Arzunu quca\u011f\u0131nda tutmu\u015fdu. Badam xan\u0131m\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcb \u00e7iyinl\u0259rini \u00e7\u0259kdi. Badam xan\u0131m\u0131n \u00abU\u015faq n\u0259yinizdir?\u00bb sual\u0131na: \u00abbirinci d\u0259f\u0259dir ki, g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m\u00bb, – dey\u0259 cavab verdi. Arzunun atas\u0131n\u0131n v\u0259fat etdiyind\u0259n Badam xan\u0131m\u0131n da, t\u0259rbiy\u0259\u00e7il\u0259rin d\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259ri vard\u0131. Odur ki, ham\u0131 bir a\u011f\u0131zdan:
\n– Yaz\u0131q u\u015faq y\u0259qin atas\u0131na ox\u015fad\u0131b! \u2013 dedil\u0259r.
\n– T\u0259cili yard\u0131mdan da h\u0259kim g\u0259ldi. Bir yandan o, bir yandan da u\u015faq ba\u011f\u00e7as\u0131n\u0131n h\u0259kimi q\u0131za k\u00f6m\u0259k \u0259lini uzatd\u0131lar. Dedil\u0259r, ciddi bir \u015fey yoxdur. Sad\u0259c\u0259 h\u0259y\u0259canlan\u0131b.
\nXuraman evin\u0259 telefon \u00e7\u0259kdirmi\u015fdi. Ona da x\u0259b\u0259r vermi\u015fdil\u0259r.
\nBu vaxt s\u00fcr\u0259tl\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259n bir taksi u\u015faq ba\u011f\u00e7as\u0131n\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda dayand\u0131. Xuraman c\u0259ld ma\u015f\u0131ndan d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb qa\u00e7araq \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc i\u00e7\u0259ri \u00e7atd\u0131rd\u0131. Arzu \u00abO\u00bbna s\u0131\u011f\u0131naraq sakitc\u0259 oturmu\u015fdu.
\nFikri q\u0131z\u0131n yan\u0131nda oldu\u011fundan Xuraman he\u00e7 kim\u0259 baxm\u0131rd\u0131. Arzu anas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fckd\u0259 durub ona sar\u0131 qa\u00e7d\u0131.
\n– Anacan, atam g\u0259lib \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131.
\nXuraman q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 qucaqlay\u0131b, h\u00f6nk\u00fcrd\u00fc. Onun ba\u015f\u0131na hava g\u0259ldiyini z\u0259nn edib h\u0259y\u0259canland\u0131. Arzu \u0259li il\u0259 g\u0259nci g\u00f6st\u0259rib:
\n– Odur atam! dey\u0259nd\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qald\u0131r\u0131b baxd\u0131. Baxd\u0131qca g\u00f6zl\u0259ri b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fc. Sanki havas\u0131 \u00e7atm\u0131rd\u0131: \u00abMurad!-dey\u0259 \u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131r\u0131b \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n getdi. Nec\u0259 dey\u0259rl\u0259r, Arzu yalan oldu, Xuraman ger\u00e7\u0259k. H\u0259kiml\u0259r bu d\u0259f\u0259 onu \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259tirm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131lar.
\n\u00abO\u00bb, key-key dayan\u0131b bax\u0131r, he\u00e7 bir \u015fey anlaya bilmirdi. Badam xan\u0131mla t\u0259rbiy\u0259\u00e7il\u0259rin g\u00f6z\u00fc \u00abO\u00bbna dikilmi\u015fdi. Xuraman \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259lib zar\u0131d\u0131:
\n– Murad! Ay Murad! Bu n\u0259 z\u00fclmd\u00fcr, biz\u0259 verirs\u0259n?
\nG\u0259nc Xuraman\u0131n s\u00f6zl\u0259rini e\u015fidib ona yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131 v\u0259:<\/p>\n

– Ay bac\u0131, siz m\u0259ni kiminl\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259yi\u015fik sal\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z. M\u0259nim ad\u0131m Murad yox, M\u0259rdand\u0131r.
\nM\u0259rdan Murada o q\u0259d\u0259r ox\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131 ki, onlar\u0131 bir-birind\u0259n he\u00e7 kim, h\u0259tta do\u011fma ata-analar\u0131 da, ay\u0131rd ed\u0259 bilm\u0259zdil\u0259r. Boy-buxun, sif\u0259t qurulu\u015fu, dan\u0131\u015f\u0131q v\u0259 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t t\u0259rzi, s\u0259si nec\u0259 d\u0259 ox\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131. Xuraman\u0131n t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259 baxd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259n g\u0259nc bir d\u0259 t\u0259krar etdi:
\n– M\u0259rdand\u0131r m\u0259nim ad\u0131m.
\nXuraman bunu e\u015fidib d\u0259rhal \u018fziz\u0259ni v\u0259 onun \u00abOla bilm\u0259z, ola bilm\u0259z!\u00bb s\u00f6zl\u0259rini xat\u0131rlad\u0131.
\n***
\nBadam xan\u0131m\u0131n xahi\u015fi il\u0259 Xuraman, Arzu, bir d\u0259 M\u0259rdan ke\u00e7ib onun kabinetind\u0259 \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdil\u0259r. Xuraman\u0131n ilk sual\u0131: \u00abSiz \u018fziz\u0259ni tan\u0131y\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z?\u00bb – oldu. M\u0259rdan q\u0131z bar\u0259d\u0259 m\u0259lumat \u00f6yr\u0259n\u0259c\u0259yini g\u00fcman edib tez:
\n– \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, tan\u0131y\u0131ram, ne\u00e7\u0259 vaxtd\u0131r onu axtar\u0131ram. B\u0259lk\u0259 sizd\u0259 bir m\u0259lumat var.
\n– Yox, o, m\u0259nim q\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n t\u0259rbiy\u0259\u00e7isi idi. \u0130\u015fd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xandan onu g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 o biz\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. \u018frimin qara ha\u015fiy\u0259li \u015f\u0259klini g\u00f6r\u00fcb b\u0259rk h\u0259y\u0259canland\u0131. M\u0259nc\u0259, onun i\u015fd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xma\u011f\u0131na bais h\u0259min \u015f\u0259kil oldu. M\u0259n v\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131m sizi nec\u0259 Murada ox\u015fatm\u0131\u015fd\u0131q o, da Murad\u0131 siz\u0259 ox\u015fad\u0131b. Bir \u00e7ox m\u0259tl\u0259bl\u0259r indi m\u0259n\u0259 m\u0259lum olur. M\u0259nim \u0259rim avtomobil q\u0259zas\u0131na u\u011fray\u0131b h\u0259yatdan k\u00f6\u00e7d\u00fc. \u018fziz\u0259 \u0259rimin \u015f\u0259klini g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 el\u0259 bilib ki, s\u0259n onu aldatm\u0131san. \u018fziz\u0259nin s\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259n sonra m\u0259n d\u0259 Murad\u0131n ruhunu incitdim. El\u0259 bildim ki, ail\u0259si ola-ola \u018fziz\u0259y\u0259 d\u0259 k\u00f6n\u00fcl veribmi\u015f.
\nBadam xan\u0131m bu q\u0259rib\u0259 \u0259hvalata sakitc\u0259 qulaq as\u0131b, dinmirdi. Lap q\u0259l\u0259m\u0259 al\u0131nas\u0131 \u0259hvalat idi. Xuraman Murad\u0131n \u015f\u0259klini \u00e7antas\u0131nda g\u0259zdirirdi. \u00c7\u0131xar\u0131b g\u00f6st\u0259rdi. M\u0259rdan\u0131n nitqi k\u0259sildi. Badam xan\u0131m yerind\u0259c\u0259 dondu, sanki bu iki g\u0259nc Muradla M\u0259rdan bir alma idil\u0259r, yar\u0131ya b\u00f6l\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcl\u0259r.<\/p>\n

***
\nS\u0259ns\u0259n fikrim, s\u0259ns\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcm,
\nS\u0259nsiz bir an g\u00fclm\u0259z \u00fcz\u00fcm.
\nD\u00fcnya al\u0259m g\u00fcl olsa
\nHe\u00e7 birini g\u00f6rm\u0259z g\u00f6z\u00fcm
\nZ. A\u011fayeva
\nBadam xan\u0131m \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc M\u0259rdana tutaraq:
\n– Siz Murad\u0131 tan\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131n\u0131z?
\n– \u015e\u0259xs\u0259n tan\u0131m\u0131rd\u0131m, amma imzas\u0131na \u00e7ox rast g\u0259lmi\u015f\u0259m.
\n***
\nM\u0259rdan \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259 bilmirdi. \u018fziz\u0259d\u0259n soraq yox idi. O, get-ged\u0259 \u0259l \u00e7atmaz olurdu.
\nDem\u0259li, q\u0131z M\u0259rdan\u0131 \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f bilir. Bundan bet\u0259ri el\u0259 z\u0259nn edir ki, onu aldad\u0131b. D\u0259h\u015f\u0259t\u0259 bax. Y\u0259qin o, M\u0259rdana nifr\u0259t edir, \u00e7oxdan onu unudub. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 \u0259r\u0259 gedib. \u0130lahi indi n\u0259 etsin? Ondan nec\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259r tutsun.
\nB\u0259s bu ox\u015farl\u0131q n\u0259dir?! \u0130nsan da bu q\u0259d\u0259r bir-birin\u0259 b\u0259nz\u0259y\u0259r? M\u0259rdan bird\u0259n-bir\u0259 n\u0259yis\u0259 xat\u0131rlay\u0131b Xuramana z\u0259ng \u00e7ald\u0131:
\n– Xuraman xan\u0131m, \u00fczr ist\u0259yir\u0259m. Bir m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259ni ayd\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131rmal\u0131yam. R\u0259hm\u0259tlik Murad avtomobil q\u0259zas\u0131na ay\u0131n ne\u00e7\u0259sind\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb?
\nXuraman o g\u00fcn\u00fc he\u00e7 vaxt unutmayacaqd\u0131. H\u0259min g\u00fcn dincliyi, xo\u015fb\u0259xtliyi, sevgilisi, \u0259ri \u0259lind\u0259n getmi\u015fdi. Odur ki, fikirl\u0259\u015fm\u0259d\u0259n:
\n– \u00d6t\u0259n il oktyabr ay\u0131n\u0131n 5-d\u0259. H\u0259tta saat\u0131 da yad\u0131mdad\u0131r. Saat on be\u015f otuz be\u015fd\u0259.
\nM\u0259rdan \u0259ll\u0259ri il\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qamarlay\u0131b Xuraman xan\u0131ma t\u0259\u015f\u0259kk\u00fcr etdi.
\n***
\nQ\u0259rib\u0259 idi. M\u0259rdan\u0131 da h\u0259min g\u00fcn, h\u0259min saatda ma\u015f\u0131n vurmu\u015fdu. \u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259 piyadalar \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn n\u0259z\u0259rd\u0259 tutulmu\u015f s\u0259ki il\u0259 getdiyi halda n\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bird\u0259n-bir\u0259 s\u0259mtini d\u0259yi\u015fib asfalt yola \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 indi d\u0259 ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u0259 bilmir.
\nM\u0259rdan ali m\u0259kt\u0259b ill\u0259rini xat\u0131rlad\u0131. H\u0259min il universitet\u0259 \u0259kiz bac\u0131lar q\u0259bul olunmu\u015fdu. Biri filologiya, o biri jurnalist fak\u00fclt\u0259sin\u0259. Analar\u0131 dem\u0259k olar ki, iki-\u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcnd\u0259n bir prorektorun yan\u0131na g\u0259lib xahi\u015f edirdi ki, bac\u0131lar\u0131 eyni fak\u00fclt\u0259y\u0259 sals\u0131nlar.
\nProrektor ha izah etm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131 ki, onlar\u0131n ixtisaslar\u0131 ba\u015fqad\u0131r. Test imtahan\u0131n\u0131n n\u0259tic\u0259sin\u0259 \u0259sas\u0259n yerl\u0259r b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcr\u00fcl\u00fcb. Kimi \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b \u0259v\u0259zind\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6t\u00fcrs\u00fcn? Ana ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k ist\u0259mirdi.
\n– Onlar bir-birind\u0259n ayr\u0131 dura bilm\u0259yirl\u0259r, g\u0259r\u0259k bir yerd\u0259 oxuyalar.
\n– Ay can\u0131m, ba\u015fqa-ba\u015fqa institutlara d\u00fc\u015fs\u0259ydil\u0259r, s\u0259n dey\u0259n olard\u0131. Biri bu auditoriyada d\u0259rs ke\u00e7ir, o biri qon\u015fu auditoriyada.
\n– Yox, siz m\u0259ni he\u00e7 c\u00fcr anlam\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z. Onlar bir-birind\u0259n ayr\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 x\u0259st\u0259l\u0259nirl\u0259r. Biri x\u0259st\u0259l\u0259n\u0259nd\u0259, o biri d\u0259 x\u0259st\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr. Birinin i\u015ftahas\u0131 olmayanda, dig\u0259ri d\u0259 yem\u0259k ist\u0259mir. Birinin qan\u0131 qara olanda, ba\u015fqas\u0131n\u0131n da qan\u0131 qaral\u0131r.
\nProrektor zarafata salaraq:
\n– Ay bac\u0131, sabah b\u0259s n\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n? Ail\u0259 qurmal\u0131d\u0131rlar. \u0130kisini d\u0259 bir o\u011flana \u0259r\u0259 ver\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n?
\nQad\u0131n inciyib getdi. Rektora m\u00fcraci\u0259t etdi. H\u0259kimd\u0259n aray\u0131\u015f g\u0259tirdi. M\u0259lum oldu ki, do\u011frudan da onlar\u0131n xarakterind\u0259, \u0259hvallar\u0131nda son d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259 uy\u011funluq var. Sanki biri \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 dig\u0259rini t\u0259krar edirdi.
\nAx\u0131rda ana ist\u0259yin\u0259 nail oldu.
\n* * *
\nM\u0259rdan h\u0259min hadis\u0259 il\u0259 yana\u015f\u0131 son vaxtlar baxd\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir teleserial\u0131 yad\u0131na sald\u0131. Yenic\u0259 do\u011fulmu\u015f \u0259kiz q\u0131zlardan birini x\u0259st\u0259xanada i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259n tibb bac\u0131s\u0131 varl\u0131 xan\u0131ma sat\u0131r. Bac\u0131lar iki m\u00fcxt\u0259lif ail\u0259d\u0259 bir-birind\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259rsiz b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fcr. Biri hirsl\u0259n\u0259nd\u0259 o birisi d\u0259 bu hissi ke\u00e7irir. Dig\u0259ri a\u011fr\u0131 duyduqda, bu birind\u0259 d\u0259 h\u0259min duy\u011fu yaran\u0131r. H\u0259tta onlar bir-birin\u0259 t\u0259sir g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259k, biri dig\u0259rin\u0259 \u00f6z irad\u0259sini diqt\u0259 etm\u0259y\u0259 qadir olur.
\nBird\u0259n M\u0259rdan c\u0259ld aya\u011fa s\u0131\u00e7rad\u0131. \u00abYoxsa, yoxsa biz d\u0259 \u0259kiz qarda\u015f\u0131q. Bu q\u0259d\u0259r b\u0259nz\u0259m\u0259kmi olar? Eyni g\u00fcnd\u0259, eyni saatda h\u0259r ikimizin avtomobil q\u0259zas\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259si m\u0259g\u0259r t\u0259sad\u00fcfd\u00fcr? Bizim beynimiz d\u0259 eyni m\u0259rk\u0259zd\u0259n idar\u0259 olunurmu\u015f. \u00abBibim d\u0259, atam da v\u0259fat edib. Bu suala yaln\u0131z onlar cavab ver\u0259 bil\u0259rdil\u0259r. \u0130\u015fin t\u0259rsliyind\u0259n he\u00e7 biri sa\u011f deyildi. M\u0259rdan atas\u0131n\u0131n son s\u00f6zl\u0259rini xat\u0131rlad\u0131. \u00abS\u0259n\u0259 bir sirr a\u00e7aca\u011fam. Ancaq bu sonraya qals\u0131n\u00bb. Bir g\u00fcn atas\u0131n\u0131 infakt vurdu. Bu d\u0259f\u0259 sa\u011f qalmad\u0131. O\u011fluna n\u0259s\u0259 dem\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi, lakin bacarmad\u0131. S\u00f6zl\u0259r sanki bo\u011faz\u0131na t\u0131xanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u018fli M\u0259rdana uzan\u0131ql\u0131 qald\u0131. V\u0259 \u0259b\u0259di o d\u00fcnyaya qovu\u015fdu.
\nAtas\u0131n\u0131n g\u00fcnd\u0259likl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 dediyi s\u00f6zl\u0259r M\u0259rdan\u0131n yad\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Do\u011frudan da arada atas\u0131 qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ba\u011flay\u0131b n\u0259s\u0259 yaz\u0131r, amma yazd\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 n\u0259 o\u011fluna g\u00f6st\u0259rirdi, n\u0259 d\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131qda qoyurdu. Atas\u0131 \u00f6l\u0259nd\u0259n sonra ona m\u0259xsus \u015feyl\u0259r el\u0259c\u0259, toxunulmaz qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u00dcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, M\u0259rdan\u0131n xasiyy\u0259ti idi. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u0259 aid olmayan \u015feyl\u0259r\u0259 \u0259l vurmaz, yersiz s\u00f6hb\u0259t\u0259 qar\u0131\u015fmazd\u0131.
\nO, qon\u015fu ota\u011fa ke\u00e7ib \u015fifonerd\u0259n atas\u0131n\u0131n \u0259lini penc\u0259yin g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc, penc\u0259yin yan cibin\u0259 sal\u0131b a\u00e7arlar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131xartd\u0131. Yaz\u0131 masas\u0131n\u0131n dolab\u00e7as\u0131na sald\u0131. Mavi r\u0259ngli qeyd kitab\u00e7as\u0131 burada idi. G\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb v\u0259r\u0259ql\u0259di v\u0259 onu maraqland\u0131ran qeydl\u0259ri tap\u0131b oxuma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131: \u00abO\u011flum, n\u0259 vaxtsa bu d\u0259ft\u0259r \u0259lin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259k v\u0259 oxuyacaqsan. S\u0259n\u0259 bir vaxt dediyim sirr budur ki, s\u0259n h\u0259yatda t\u0259k deyils\u0259n. S\u0259nin \u0259kiz qarda\u015f\u0131n da var. Onun harada oldu\u011funu m\u0259n d\u0259 bilmir\u0259m. Anas\u0131 (h\u0259m d\u0259 s\u0259nin do\u011fma anan) qorxub ki, onu \u0259lind\u0259n alaram. Odur ki, h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 m\u0259nd\u0259n gizl\u0259dib.
\nOnlar haradasa ba\u015fqa \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131lar. Anan v\u0259fat etdi. Qarda\u015f\u0131ndan he\u00e7 c\u00fcr x\u0259b\u0259r tuta bilm\u0259dim. M\u0259nim h\u0259yatda kobud olma\u011f\u0131ma, s\u0259rxo\u015flu\u011fa qur\u015fanma\u011f\u0131ma \u0259slind\u0259 ad\u0131n\u0131 bel\u0259 bilm\u0259diyim ikinci o\u011flum bais olub. Onun h\u0259sr\u0259ti olub. Bu ah\u0131l ya\u015f\u0131mda bunlar\u0131 yazma\u011f\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 borc bilirdim ki, he\u00e7 olmasa h\u0259yatda t\u0259k olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bil\u0259s\u0259n\u00bb.
\n* * *
\nM\u0259rdan atas\u0131n\u0131n m\u0259ktubunu Xuramana da g\u00f6st\u0259rdi:
\n– Bel\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r ki, biz qarda\u015f\u0131q, \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 \u0259kiz qarda\u015flar. Ancaq bir-birimizi tan\u0131mazdan \u0259vv\u0259l itirdik.
\nO, \u0259ll\u0259ri il\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qamarlad\u0131. Xuraman lal-dinm\u0259z oturmu\u015fdu. Sanki nitqi k\u0259silmi\u015fdi. Arzu bir t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259 \u0259yl\u0259\u015fib heyr\u0259t v\u0259 m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259tl\u0259 atas\u0131na b\u0259nz\u0259y\u0259n ki\u015fiy\u0259 bax\u0131r, n\u0259 s\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 rahatl\u0131q, t\u0259skinlik tap\u0131rd\u0131. Ona el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, atas\u0131 \u00f6lm\u0259yib, sa\u011fd\u0131r. Bird\u0259n a\u011fl\u0131na g\u0259lmi\u015f fikird\u0259n g\u00f6zl\u0259ri i\u015f\u0131qland\u0131: \u00abM\u0259rdan h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259lik bizd\u0259 qalsa, n\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 olar. G\u0259r\u0259k bunu anama dey\u0259m\u00bb.
\nM\u0259rdan\u0131n son s\u00f6zl\u0259rini e\u015fitdikd\u0259 inam\u0131 daha da artd\u0131. O, burada h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259lik qala bil\u0259rdi. S\u0259n dem\u0259, M\u0259rdan onun \u0259misi imi\u015f, lakin M\u0259rdan s\u00f6hb\u0259t\u0259 ba\u015flayanda q\u0131z yenid\u0259n \u00fcmidsizliy\u0259 qap\u0131ld\u0131. M\u0259rdan deyirdi:
\n– M\u0259n h\u0259l\u0259 ki, f\u0259rziy\u0259 ir\u0259li s\u00fcr\u00fcr\u0259m.
\n– B\u0259lk\u0259, sad\u0259c\u0259, bir-birimiz\u0259 b\u0259nz\u0259yi\u015fimiz var. He\u00e7 qarda\u015f deyilik. \u018fvv\u0259lc\u0259 bunu ayd\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131rmaq laz\u0131md\u0131r. \u018fg\u0259r qarda\u015f\u0131qsa nec\u0259 olub ki, ayr\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f\u00fck. O, \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc Xuramana tutaraq, soru\u015fdu:
\n– R\u0259hm\u0259tlik Murad\u0131n ya\u015f ka\u011f\u0131z\u0131 dururmu?
\n– Xuraman gedib g\u0259tirdi. M\u0259rdan baxd\u0131. Murad\u0131n anas\u0131n\u0131n da ad\u0131 Sara idi.
\nM\u0259rdan\u0131n g\u00f6zl\u0259ri doldu. Q\u0259h\u0259r onu bo\u011furdu. O, \u0259li \u0259s\u0259-\u0259s\u0259 cibind\u0259n pasportunu \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b Xuramana uzatd\u0131. Xuraman al\u0131b baxd\u0131: M\u0259rdan Q\u0259mb\u0259r o\u011flu idi. Murad\u0131n anas\u0131n\u0131 Xuraman g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015fdi. Amma ad\u0131n\u0131n Sara oldu\u011funu bilirdi v\u0259 foto onun bir ne\u00e7\u0259 \u015f\u0259kli d\u0259 evd\u0259 vard\u0131. G\u0259tirib g\u00f6st\u0259rdi. M\u0259rdan \u015f\u0259kill\u0259ri bir-bir doda\u011f\u0131na apard\u0131, \u00f6pd\u00fc. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc saxlaya bilm\u0259yib a\u011flad\u0131. B\u00fct\u00fcn \u015f\u0259kill\u0259rd\u0259 Murad anas\u0131 il\u0259 qo\u015fa dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Murad h\u0259yatdan erk\u0259n k\u00f6\u00e7s\u0259 d\u0259 xo\u015fb\u0259xt idi. M\u0259rdan is\u0259 n\u0259inki anas\u0131 il\u0259 \u015f\u0259kil \u00e7\u0259kdirmi\u015fdi, he\u00e7 onu g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015fdi. Atas\u0131 ax\u0131r n\u0259f\u0259sind\u0259 d\u00f6\u015f cibind\u0259n Saran\u0131n \u015f\u0259klini \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b M\u0259rdana vermi\u015fdi. \u0130ndi daha y\u0259qinlikl\u0259 \u0259min oldu ki, o, Muradla h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259n qarda\u015fd\u0131r.
\nM\u0259rdan pasportu v\u0259r\u0259ql\u0259yib anas\u0131n\u0131n yegan\u0259 \u015f\u0259klini Xuramana g\u00f6st\u0259rdi. Arzu \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc M\u0259rdan\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 at\u0131b uca s\u0259sl\u0259:
\n– \u018fmi! dedi v\u0259 M\u0259rdan\u0131n yanaqlar\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 yuvarlanan g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 balaca barmaqlar\u0131 il\u0259 silm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. M\u0259rdan \u00f6z do\u011fma \u00f6vlad\u0131 kimi q\u0131z\u0131 k\u00f6ks\u00fcn\u0259 s\u0131xd\u0131. O, \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc bel\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u0259diyi qarda\u015f\u0131n\u0131n yadigar\u0131 idi.
\n***
\n\u018fkiz qarda\u015flar nec\u0259 olmu\u015fdu ki, bir-birind\u0259n ayr\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcl\u0259r? Bu n\u0259 sirri-xuda idi ki, M\u0259rdan Murad\u0131n, Murad M\u0259rdan\u0131n m\u00f6vcud olmas\u0131ndan bix\u0259b\u0259r qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bu suallara n\u0259 M\u0259rdan, n\u0259 d\u0259 Xuraman cavab tapa bilmirdil\u0259r. Arzu yenic\u0259 tapd\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u0259misini d\u0259 itir\u0259c\u0259yind\u0259n qorxub ondan k\u0259nar durmur, heyranl\u0131q v\u0259 m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259tl\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rini zill\u0259yib ona bax\u0131rd\u0131.
\n* * *
\nN\u0259yi itirmi\u015f\u0259m, n\u0259yi qazand\u0131m,
\nHarda soyuq g\u00f6rd\u00fcm, harda q\u0131z\u0131nd\u0131m?!
\n\u00d6mr\u00fcn pay\u0131z\u0131d\u0131r, hal\u0131m\u0131 sorma,
\nBu da bir yaz\u0131d\u0131r, hal\u0131m\u0131 sorma.
\nSabir R\u00fcst\u0259mxanl\u0131<\/p>\n

M\u0259rdan \u0259hval\u0131 p\u0259ri\u015fan ev\u0259 qay\u0131td\u0131. Qarda\u015f\u0131n\u0131 itirs\u0259 d\u0259, onun q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131, arvad\u0131n\u0131 tapm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bu bir q\u0259d\u0259r ona t\u0259skinlik verirdi. Lakin atas\u0131 il\u0259 anas\u0131n\u0131n hans\u0131 s\u0259b\u0259bd\u0259n bir-birind\u0259n ayr\u0131lma\u011f\u0131 sirr olaraq qal\u0131rd\u0131. Bu sirri a\u00e7maq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn g\u00fcnd\u0259liy\u0259 baxm\u0131\u015f, lakin he\u00e7 bir m\u0259lumat tapmam\u0131\u015f, \u0259v\u0259zind\u0259 daha m\u00fch\u00fcm sirrin \u00fcst\u00fc a\u00e7\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. O, h\u0259yatda t\u0259k deyilmi\u015f, qarda\u015f\u0131 da varm\u0131\u015f. Bunu ayd\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131. B\u0259s ax\u0131 atas\u0131 Sara il\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rin\u0259 dair n\u0259 is\u0259 yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 demi\u015fdi. M\u0259rdin yenid\u0259n Q\u0259nb\u0259r ki\u015finin stolunun g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc t\u00f6k\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u018flin\u0259 k\u00f6hn\u0259 bir g\u00fcnd\u0259lik ke\u00e7di. Ki\u015fi, g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, o\u011flundan utand\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan, \u00f6z \u0259m\u0259ll\u0259rind\u0259n x\u0259cal\u0259t \u00e7\u0259kdiyind\u0259n bu g\u00fcnd\u0259liyi ka\u011f\u0131z-ku\u011fuzlar\u0131n alt\u0131nda gizl\u0259tmi\u015fdi.
\nM\u0259rdan g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb oxuma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131: \u00abSara do\u011fum evind\u0259 idi. H\u0259kiml\u0259rin m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259ti il\u0259 vaxt\u0131ndan be\u015f-on g\u00fcn \u0259vv\u0259l onu x\u0259st\u0259xanaya qoymu\u015fdum. M\u00fcalic\u0259 almal\u0131, h\u0259kim n\u0259zar\u0259ti alt\u0131nda olmal\u0131 idi. S\u0259h\u0259r-ax\u015fam gedib Saraya ba\u015f \u00e7\u0259kirdim. O, m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn narahat olur, yem\u0259yim\u0259-i\u00e7m\u0259yim\u0259 fikir verm\u0259yi tap\u015f\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. Bir g\u00fcn evd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b Saraya d\u0259ym\u0259y\u0259 gedirdim. \u00abBak\u0131\u00bb univerma\u011f\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda k\u00f6hn\u0259 tan\u0131\u015flar\u0131mdan olan bir qad\u0131nla – N\u00fc\u015fab\u0259 il\u0259 rastla\u015fd\u0131m. Dayan\u0131b s\u00f6hb\u0259t etdik. U\u015faq boynuna d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259n Sara il\u0259 yax\u0131nl\u0131q etmirdim. \u015eeytan m\u0259ni yoldan \u00e7\u0131xartd\u0131. N\u00fc\u015fab\u0259ni ev\u0259 g\u0259tirdim. Fikirl\u0259\u015fdim ki, do\u011fum evin\u0259 ax\u015famt\u0259r\u0259fi ged\u0259r\u0259m. N\u00fc\u015fab\u0259 il\u0259 nahar etdikd\u0259n sonra, maqnitofona qulaq asd\u0131q. Sonra yata\u011fa girdik. T\u0259xmin\u0259n bir saat ke\u00e7mi\u015fdi ki, m\u0259nzilin qap\u0131s\u0131ndak\u0131 q\u0131f\u0131la a\u00e7ar sal\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fitdim. Yataqdan qalxma\u011fa macal tapmam\u0131\u015f qap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131. Ota\u011f\u0131n ortas\u0131nda Saran\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fckd\u0259 d\u0259h\u015f\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259ldim. \u00d6z yor\u011fan-d\u00f6\u015f\u0259yind\u0259 yad qad\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259n Sara \u0259ll\u0259ril\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc qamarlay\u0131b h\u00f6nk\u00fcrd\u00fc. S\u0259n dem\u0259, h\u0259kimd\u0259n icaz\u0259 al\u0131b hamamda yuyunma\u011fa g\u0259libmi\u015f. N\u00fc\u015fab\u0259 il\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131m sevgi oyununa qar\u0131\u015fanda bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 telefon z\u0259ng \u00e7alsa da, d\u0259st\u0259yi qald\u0131rmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Sara ev\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn m\u0259ni g\u00f6zl\u0259mi\u015f, g\u0259lm\u0259diyimi g\u00f6r\u00fc \u00f6z\u00fc taksiy\u0259 oturub yola d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. R\u00fcsvay\u00e7\u0131 bir v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259 durub geyindim. Sara rastla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131 m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n sars\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan qon\u015fu ota\u011fa ke\u00e7mi\u015fdi. Orada da qalmad\u0131, tez \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b taksiy\u0259 \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdi. O, bu g\u00fcn-sabah ana olacaqd\u0131. Ard\u0131nca gedib taksiy\u0259 minm\u0259kd\u0259 ona k\u00f6m\u0259k etm\u0259k ist\u0259dim, qoymad\u0131, m\u0259ni e\u015fitm\u0259k ist\u0259m\u0259di. Sonralar h\u0259r g\u00fcn do\u011fum evin\u0259 getm\u0259yim\u0259 baxmayaraq, m\u0259niml\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259di, z\u0259ngl\u0259rim\u0259 cavab verm\u0259di. Etdiyim g\u00fcnah azm\u0131\u015f kimi m\u0259n d\u0259 ac\u0131\u011fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm. U\u015fa\u011f\u0131 ondan ald\u0131m\u2026
\n\u00c7ox-\u00e7ox sonralar \u00f6yr\u0259ndim ki, s\u0259n dem\u0259, Saran\u0131n \u0259kiz u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 olubmu\u015f. \u0130kinci u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 – Murad\u0131, itir\u0259c\u0259yind\u0259n qorxub ba\u015fqa \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 k\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcb getmi\u015fdi. Sara \u00f6l\u0259nd\u0259n sonra Murad\u0131 Saran\u0131n anas\u0131 Solmaz b\u00f6y\u00fctm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc \u2026
\nM\u0259rdan, o\u011ful, bu m\u0259nim ail\u0259 faci\u0259mdir. Bu s\u0259nin, qarda\u015f\u0131n\u0131n, anan\u0131n faci\u0259sidir\u2026\u00bb
\nYaz\u0131 burada sona yetirdi. M\u0259rdan uzun m\u00fcdd\u0259t yerind\u0259 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tsiz oturdu. \u00d6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 hirsl\u0259ndi. \u00abDem\u0259li, yol verilmi\u015f birc\u0259 s\u0259hv ham\u0131n\u0131n ax\u0131r\u0131na \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131, dem\u0259li. Bu q\u0259mli, a\u011fr\u0131l\u0131, q\u0259lb par\u00e7alay\u0131c\u0131 ail\u0259 dastan\u0131n\u0131n yegan\u0259 sa\u011f qalan n\u00fcmay\u0259nd\u0259si o \u2013 M\u0259rdand\u0131r\u00bb.
\n* * *
\nCavab\u0131 m\u0259lum olmayan suallar Natiqin rahatl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u0259lind\u0259n alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Qonaqlar gec\u0259d\u0259n xeyli ke\u00e7mi\u015f da\u011f\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. Natiq ke\u00e7ib yata\u011f\u0131na uzand\u0131. Yor\u011fun olsa da g\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 yuxu getm\u0259di. Arxas\u0131 \u00fcst\u0259 uzan\u0131b bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 tavana zill\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr, hey d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. Yorulub gah sa\u011f, gah da sol b\u00f6yr\u00fc \u00fcst\u0259 \u00e7evrilirdi. N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131sa da onu yoran suallardan azad ola bilmirdi. Yuxulaya bilm\u0259diyini g\u00f6r\u00fcb durdu h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259 g\u0259zindi. Siqaret \u00e7\u0259kdi. Anas\u0131 say\u0131q yat\u0131rd\u0131. O\u011flunun h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259 var-g\u0259l etdiyini g\u00f6r\u00fcb:
\n– Ay bala, yatsana. N\u0259 vurnuxursan?
\n\u00c7aydan\u0131 qaz\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qoyub q\u0131zd\u0131rd\u0131. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 st\u0259kan \u00e7ay i\u00e7di v\u0259 yerin\u0259 girdi. Lakin yuxusu g\u0259lmirdi ki, g\u0259lmirdi. N\u0259hay\u0259t, saat 5-\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 birt\u0259h\u0259r yuxulad\u0131. Narahat yatd\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan s\u0259h\u0259r erk\u0259n oyand\u0131. S\u0259kkiz\u0259 on d\u0259qiq\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yirdi. Anas\u0131, ad\u0259ti \u00fczr\u0259 oba\u015fdan qalxm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Mal-heyvan\u0131 \u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259 \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb, \u0130ndi d\u0259 toyuq-c\u00fcc\u0259y\u0259 d\u0259n verirdi. Natiqi eyvanda g\u00f6r\u00fcb:
\n– Ay o\u011ful, n\u0259 ert\u0259 durmusan? Gec\u0259 d\u0259 yuxun \u0259r\u015f\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kilmi\u015fdi. Yat\u0131b dinc\u0259ls\u0259n\u0259. Onsuz da sabahdan tez qalxacaqsan.
\n– Narahat olma, ana, i\u015fim var. Bir st\u0259kan \u00e7ay ver, i\u00e7im, \u00e7\u0131x\u0131m. Ana tez h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259ki stolun \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 s\u00fcfr\u0259 sald\u0131. Ortaya nehr\u0259 ya\u011f\u0131, motal pendiri, yayma v\u0259 t\u0259ndir \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259yi, qaymaq g\u0259tirdi. Natiq \u00e7ay\u0131n\u0131 \u015firin etdi. \u00c7ayla qayma\u011f\u0131 yeyib qalxd\u0131.
\n\u018fziz\u0259gil k\u0259nd\u0259 bu g\u00fcn, ax\u015fam\u00fcst\u00fc qay\u0131dacaqd\u0131lar. Ax\u015fama kimi Natiqin s\u0259bri \u00e7atmad\u0131. Onunla k\u0259nd\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259mi\u015fd\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi. H\u0259m d\u0259 k\u0259ndd\u0259 \u0259trafl\u0131 s\u00f6hb\u0259t ed\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi. D\u0259rsl\u0259rin ba\u015flanmas\u0131na da bir g\u00fcn vard\u0131. Sabah\u0131 da g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259 bilmirdi. Odur ki, avtobusa oturub rayona yola d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

* * *
\nBir d\u0259 s\u0259nin yolun \u00fcst\u0259
\n\u00c7\u0131xam, \u00e7\u0131xmayam, bilmir\u0259m.
\nG\u00f6zl\u0259rimi x\u0259lv\u0259t-x\u0259lv\u0259t
\nS\u0131xam, s\u0131xmayam bilmir\u0259m.
\nT. N\u0259z\u0259rli<\/p>\n

A\u011fl\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259n M\u0259rdan\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na g\u0259lmi\u015fdi: \u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259 h\u0259min g\u0259nc M\u0259rdandan he\u00e7 d\u0259 geri qalm\u0131rd\u0131. T\u0259hsilli, boylu-buxunlu o\u011flan idi. M\u0259rdan \u018fziz\u0259ni yax\u015f\u0131 tan\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131. Bilirdi ki, t\u0259zyiqi xo\u015flam\u0131r. \u00d6mr\u00fc boyu subay qalar, q\u0259lbin\u0259 yatmayana k\u00f6n\u00fcl verm\u0259z. Bu onu g\u00f6st\u0259rir ki, h\u0259min g\u0259nci sevdiyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ona \u0259r\u0259 gedir. Onun yerin\u0259 ba\u015fqas\u0131 da olsayd\u0131, bel\u0259 ed\u0259rdi. Ax\u0131 o M\u0259rdan\u0131 \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f bilirdi. H\u0259yatdan k\u00f6\u00e7m\u00fc\u015f bir insan\u0131 subay q\u0131z n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259li idi?! \u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259 M\u0259rdan\u0131n evli oldu\u011funu bil\u0259-bil\u0259.
\nM\u0259rdan\u0131n \u00f6lm\u0259diyini \u018fziz\u0259 haradan bil\u0259ydi? Ax\u0131r\u0131nc\u0131 d\u0259f\u0259 z\u0259ng ed\u0259nd\u0259 Badam xan\u0131m da, sad\u0259c\u0259, q\u0131z\u0131n \u00fcnvan\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6yr\u0259nm\u0259kl\u0259 kifay\u0259tl\u0259nmi\u015f, M\u0259rdan bar\u0259d\u0259 ona he\u00e7 n\u0259 dem\u0259mi\u015fdi.
\nM\u0259rdan \u018fziz\u0259nin h\u0259yat\u0131nda art\u0131q el\u0259 bir yer tutmurdu. O, \u018fziz\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yaln\u0131z t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf, ac\u0131, q\u0259mli xatir\u0259l\u0259r qoyacaq, h\u0259yat\u0131na q\u0259fil daxil oldu\u011fu kimi, q\u0259fil d\u0259 yoxa \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u018fziz\u0259nin xo\u015fb\u0259xtliyin\u0259 mane olma\u011fa M\u0259rdan\u0131n m\u0259n\u0259vi haqq\u0131 yox idi. Xo\u015fb\u0259xt olma\u011fa q\u0131z\u0131n haqq\u0131 vard\u0131.
\nBu fikirl\u0259r\u0259 q\u0259rq olan M\u0259rdan da mehmanxanadak\u0131 ota\u011f\u0131nda xeyli gec yatd\u0131 v\u0259 tez oyand\u0131. Bufetd\u0259 s\u0259h\u0259r yem\u0259yi yeyib diplomat \u00e7antas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131: \u00abM\u0259n \u018fziz\u0259nin g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259m\u0259liy\u0259m. Qoy o m\u0259ni \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f bilsin. M\u0259n ona yaln\u0131z q\u0259m-q\u00fcss\u0259 vermi\u015f\u0259m. M\u0259nim sa\u011f oldu\u011fumu bils\u0259, \u0259rin\u0259 m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259ti azalar\u00bb.
\nM\u0259rdan bel\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. Lakin eyni zamanda \u018fziz\u0259ni itirm\u0259k ist\u0259mir, onun ba\u015fqas\u0131na \u0259r\u0259 getm\u0259si fikri il\u0259 bar\u0131\u015fa bilmirdi. \u00abBu m\u0259nim g\u00fcnah\u0131m deyil ki, biz \u0259kizl\u0259r u\u015faq ik\u0259n bir-birimizd\u0259n ayr\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f\u00fck?! M\u0259g\u0259r t\u0259qsir m\u0259nd\u0259dir ki, \u018fziz\u0259 r\u0259hm\u0259tlik qarda\u015f\u0131m\u0131n \u015f\u0259klini g\u00f6r\u00fcb v\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 ox\u015fad\u0131b?! B\u00fct\u00fcn bu anla\u015f\u0131lmazl\u0131qlara g\u00f6r\u0259 m\u0259n \u00f6z m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259timd\u0259n \u0259l \u00e7\u0259km\u0259liy\u0259m? H\u0259yat m\u0259n\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 niy\u0259 bel\u0259 amans\u0131z r\u0259ftar edir? Anama h\u0259sr\u0259t qalma\u011f\u0131m, qarda\u015f\u0131m\u0131 itirm\u0259yim azm\u0131\u015f kimi, indi d\u0259 sevgim\u0259 \u0259lvida dem\u0259liy\u0259m. M\u0259n da\u015fdan, d\u0259mird\u0259n\u0259m ki, bu q\u0259d\u0259r z\u0259rb\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 d\u00f6z\u00fcm, tabla\u015f\u0131m?!
\nN\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r gec deyil \u018fziz\u0259 il\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb, s\u00f6hb\u0259t etm\u0259liy\u0259m. M\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rimizi ayd\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131rmaq laz\u0131md\u0131r. O h\u0259l\u0259 ni\u015fanl\u0131d\u0131r. Qoy bir daha \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcb-bi\u00e7sin. \u00d6z h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131n da, hissl\u0259rinin d\u0259 sahibi, yiy\u0259si yaln\u0131z \u018fziz\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcd\u00fcr. Hissl\u0259ri onu aldatmaz. He\u00e7 n\u0259y\u0259 baxmayaraq o, q\u0259lbinin s\u0259sin\u0259 qulaq asacaq.
\nM\u0259rdan onu bel\u0259 tan\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131.
\n\u018flind\u0259 diplomat \u00e7anta d\u0259rin d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 q\u0259rq olmu\u015f halda a\u011f\u0131r-a\u011f\u0131r ged\u0259n M\u0259rdan bel\u0259 fikirl\u0259\u015fs\u0259 d\u0259, eyni zamanda \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc q\u0131nay\u0131rd\u0131: \u00abYox, m\u0259n d\u00fczg\u00fcn h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t etmir\u0259m. M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 h\u0259ll olunmu\u015f, \u018fziz\u0259 q\u0259rar\u0131n\u0131 vermi\u015fdi. O, ba\u015fqas\u0131n\u0131n ni\u015fan \u00fcz\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc barma\u011f\u0131nda g\u0259zdirirdi. Sevgilil\u0259rin taleyi il\u0259 oynamaq m\u0259n\u0259vi normalara uy\u011fun g\u0259lmir. Bu, allaha da xo\u015f getm\u0259z. \u0130\u015f i\u015fd\u0259n ke\u00e7mi\u015fdi. M\u0259rdan ax\u0131r ki, bunu ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259lidir. O, \u018fziz\u0259nin h\u0259yat\u0131nda art\u0131q bir el\u0259 \u0259h\u0259miyy\u0259tli yer tutmur. Olan oldu, ke\u00e7\u0259n ke\u00e7di. \u00d6t\u0259nl\u0259r\u0259 t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcfl\u0259nm\u0259y\u0259 ehtiyac varm\u0131.?! G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, N\u0259rgiz haql\u0131d\u0131r.
\n* * *
\nBu sevgi q\u0259lbim\u0259 iz sal\u0131b, gedib
\nS\u0259nd\u0259n ba\u015fqas\u0131n\u0131 sev\u0259 bilmir\u0259m
\n(mahn\u0131dan)<\/p>\n

N\u0259rgiz M\u0259rdan\u0131n universitet yolda\u015f\u0131 idi. \u015e\u0259rq\u015f\u00fcnasl\u0131q fak\u00fclt\u0259sind\u0259 oxumu\u015fdu. M\u0259rdan onun xo\u015funa g\u0259lirdi. M\u0259rdan da ona bigan\u0259 deyildi. N\u0259rgiz m\u00fcasir q\u0131z t\u0259siri ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131. A\u00e7\u0131qg\u00f6zl\u00fc, geni\u015f d\u00fcnyag\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fl\u00fc idi. \u018fr\u0259b dilinin inc\u0259likl\u0259rin\u0259 yiy\u0259l\u0259nm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Onlar bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb kinoya getmi\u015f, parka, d\u0259nizk\u0259nar\u0131 bulvara g\u0259zm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. Lakin onlar\u0131n m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259ri dostluqdan uza\u011fa getm\u0259mi\u015fdi. M\u0259rdan onu g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131 kimi t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259tir\u0259 bilmirdi. N\u0259rgiz h\u0259ddind\u0259n art\u0131q qay\u011f\u0131s\u0131z idi. Ciddi m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 b\u0259z\u0259n \u0259h\u0259miyy\u0259tsiz bir \u015fey kimi yana\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259yat haqq\u0131nda t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcrl\u0259rind\u0259 yan\u0131lmalar vard\u0131. M\u0259rdan n\u0259s\u0259 onu sev\u0259 bilmirdi. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131n hissl\u0259ri il\u0259 oynamay\u0131b a\u00e7\u0131q \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 bildirmi\u015fdi ki, onunla ail\u0259 qura bilm\u0259z. \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, bu, N\u0259rgiz \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn g\u00f6zl\u0259nilm\u0259z oldu. Uzun m\u00fcdd\u0259t \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 yer tapmad\u0131.
\nB\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar h\u0259l\u0259 \u018fziz\u0259y\u0259 rast g\u0259lm\u0259mi\u015fd\u0259n xeyli \u0259vv\u0259l olmu\u015fdu. X\u0259st\u0259xanadan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b Bak\u0131ya g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259n sonra M\u0259rdan Fontanlar meydan\u0131nda N\u0259rgizl\u0259 rastla\u015fd\u0131. Q\u0131z h\u0259l\u0259 \u0259r\u0259 getm\u0259mi\u015fdi. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 il Misird\u0259 t\u0259rc\u00fcm\u0259\u00e7i i\u015fl\u0259yib geri d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. \u015e\u0259h\u0259rin m\u0259rk\u0259zind\u0259 d\u00f6rdotaql\u0131, Avropa \u00fcslubunda t\u0259mir edilmi\u015f m\u0259nzili, \u00abMersedes\u00bb ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 vard\u0131. \u018fziz\u0259 il\u0259 M\u0259rdan\u0131n m\u00fcnasib\u0259tind\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259ri oldu\u011fundan bu bar\u0259d\u0259 s\u00f6z sald\u0131.
\n– \u018fziz\u0259 xan\u0131m nec\u0259dir? \u00d6yr\u0259ndiyim\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 h\u0259l\u0259 evl\u0259nm\u0259mis\u0259n. M\u0259rdan a\u00e7\u0131q dan\u0131\u015fma\u011f\u0131 xo\u015flar, s\u0259mimiyy\u0259ti h\u0259r \u015feyd\u0259n \u00fcst\u00fcn tutard\u0131. Odur ki, dedi:
\n– El\u0259dir evl\u0259nm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m.
\n– B\u0259s niy\u0259? N\u0259 \u00e7ox fikirl\u0259\u015firs\u0259n? Toyunuzu n\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yubad\u0131rsan.
\n– Xeyli vaxtd\u0131r \u018fziz\u0259ni g\u00f6rm\u00fcr\u0259m.
\nN\u0259rgizin g\u00f6zl\u0259ri g\u00fcld\u00fc. Q\u0259lbind\u0259 \u00fcmid q\u0131\u011f\u0131lc\u0131mlar\u0131 yarand\u0131.
\n– Ayr\u0131lm\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z n\u0259dir? Ax\u0131 o, k\u0259nd\u00e7i s\u0259nin tay\u0131n deyildi.
\nN\u0259rgizi M\u0259rdandan uzaqla\u015fd\u0131ran bax onun bu xasiyy\u0259ti, insanlar bar\u0259d\u0259 b\u0259dg\u00fcman olmas\u0131 idi. M\u0259rdan \u018fziz\u0259nin t\u0259hqir olunmas\u0131na d\u00f6z\u0259 bilm\u0259zdi v\u0259 d\u00f6zm\u0259di d\u0259: N\u0259rgiz, yax\u015f\u0131 tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131n adam bar\u0259sind\u0259 niy\u0259 bel\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rsan?
\nN\u0259rgiz istehza il\u0259 g\u00fcld\u00fc:
\n– M\u0259n olan\u0131 deyir\u0259m\u2026 Yax\u015f\u0131, b\u0259s n\u0259 oldu? Pi\u015fik asq\u0131rd\u0131? M\u0259ni b\u0259y\u0259nm\u0259din, b\u0259y\u0259nm\u0259din. O da ist\u0259diyin q\u0131z. Onu niy\u0259 atd\u0131n?
\n– Kim deyir ki, atm\u0131\u015fam?
\n– O s\u0259ni at\u0131b?
\nN\u0259rgizin dili iyn\u0259d\u0259n d\u0259 iti idi.
\nM\u0259rdan onu ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc. Qad\u0131n sevgisin\u0259 cavab almayanda intiqam hissi il\u0259 al\u0131\u015f\u0131b yan\u0131r. Bu intiqam h\u0259r\u0259d\u0259 bir c\u00fcr \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6st\u0259rir. N\u0259rgiz d\u0259 dilin\u0259 g\u00fcc vermi\u015fdi. Lakin o, kinli deyildi v\u0259 \u00abintiqam\u0131\u00bb el\u0259 bununla qurtar\u0131r. M\u0259rdan onu yax\u015f\u0131 tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan bilirdi ki, \u00fcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259 o, pis niyy\u0259tli v\u0259 m\u0259rdimazar deyil. Var\u0131, d\u00f6vl\u0259ti, imkan\u0131, g\u00f6z\u0259lliyi var. Xo\u015fb\u0259xtdir. P\u0259r\u0259sti\u015fkarlar\u0131 da \u00e7oxdur. Lakin he\u00e7 kimi yox, M\u0259rdan\u0131 sevir. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u0259 d\u0259 s\u00f6z verib ki, M\u0259rdan evl\u0259nm\u0259mi\u015f \u0259r\u0259 getm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k. Bax N\u0259rgiz bel\u0259 prinsipial q\u0131z idi. Bunu M\u0259rdana da demi\u015fdi. M\u0259rdan bilirdi ki, n\u0259 vaxt ona sar\u0131 gets\u0259, N\u0259rgiz \u0259r\u0259 getm\u0259y\u0259 raz\u0131l\u0131q ver\u0259c\u0259k.
\nN\u0259rgiz qay\u011f\u0131s\u0131z, a\u00e7\u0131q-sa\u00e7\u0131q q\u0131z olsa da, \u0259xlaq\u0131na s\u00f6z ola bilm\u0259zdi. M\u0259rdan\u0131n bundan x\u0259b\u0259ri vard\u0131.
\n– B\u0259lk\u0259 m\u0259ni kafey\u0259 d\u0259v\u0259t ed\u0259s\u0259n?
\nM\u0259rdan d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n ayr\u0131l\u0131b N\u0259rgiz\u0259 baxd\u0131.
\n– Qorxma pulunu m\u0259n ver\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m.
\nM\u0259rdan\u0131 g\u00fclm\u0259k tutdu. Do\u011frudan d\u0259 N\u0259rgizin s\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 n\u0259 vard\u0131 ki, M\u0259rdan t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259 ona baxm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.
\nKe\u00e7ib kafed\u0259 \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdil\u0259r. Bir \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259 \u015fampan \u015f\u0259rab\u0131, iki \u0259d\u0259d dondurma sifari\u015f verdil\u0259r. Burada M\u0259rdan ba\u015f\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259nl\u0259ri N\u0259rgiz\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Onun q\u0259zaya u\u011framas\u0131ndan N\u0259rgizin x\u0259b\u0259ri yox idi, ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 M\u0259rdana dil-a\u011f\u0131z el\u0259di. M\u0259rdan\u0131n \u018fziz\u0259ni d\u0259lic\u0259sin\u0259 sevdiyini bildiyind\u0259n o\u011flana m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t g\u00f6rd\u00fc ki, axtar\u0131b q\u0131z\u0131 taps\u0131n.
\nAyr\u0131lark\u0259n N\u0259rgiz \u00fcr\u0259yi il\u0259 bacarmad\u0131:
\n– M\u0259rdan x\u0259b\u0259rin olsun ki, m\u0259n s\u0259ni yen\u0259 \u0259vv\u0259lki m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259tl\u0259 sevir\u0259m. Kim bilir b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 \u018fziz\u0259 \u0259r\u0259 gedib, yaxud ni\u015fanlan\u0131b. B\u0259lk\u0259 da\u011fa-da\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259s\u0259n \u2026
\nAx\u0131r\u0131nc\u0131 s\u00f6zl\u0259ri dey\u0259nd\u0259 N\u0259rgiz q\u0131zard\u0131.
\n\u0130ndi M\u0259rdan get-ged\u0259 \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 fikirl\u0259\u015firdi: \u00abG\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, N\u0259rgiz haql\u0131ym\u0131\u015f\u2026 \u018fziz\u0259 \u0259r\u0259 getm\u0259y\u0259 haz\u0131rla\u015f\u0131r. M\u0259n d\u0259 \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcn ax\u0131r\u0131na q\u0259d\u0259r subay qalmayaca\u011fam ki, N\u0259rgiz m\u0259ni sevir \u2026\u00bb
\n***
\nXo\u015fb\u0259xt g\u00fcn\u00fcn, g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yin x\u0259trin\u0259,
\nS\u0131\u011f\u0131nm\u0131\u015fam bir sevginin \u00e7\u0259trin\u0259,
\nX\u0259st\u0259 k\u00f6nl\u00fcm m\u00f6htac qal\u0131b \u0259trin\u0259
\nD\u00f6n \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259y\u0259, q\u0131z\u0131l g\u00fcl\u0259, yax\u0131n g\u0259l.
\n(\u0130ntiqam)
\nNatiq \u018fziz\u0259y\u0259 z\u0259ng edib onunla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k ist\u0259diyini bildirdi. O\u011flan\u0131n bel\u0259 erk\u0259n rayon m\u0259rk\u0259zin\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259si v\u0259 onu telefona \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rmas\u0131, s\u0259sind\u0259ki titr\u0259yi\u015f \u018fziz\u0259ni h\u0259y\u0259canland\u0131rd\u0131: \u00abY\u0259qin n\u0259s\u0259 bir hadis\u0259 ba\u015f verib, yoxsa Natiq onu bel\u0259 erk\u0259n narahat etm\u0259zdi. H\u0259m d\u0259 bu g\u00fcn k\u0259nd\u0259 qay\u0131tma\u011f\u0131m\u0131zdan Natiqin x\u0259b\u0259ri vard\u0131\u00bb
\n\u018fziz\u0259 paltarlar\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fib h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Natiq \u018fziz\u0259 il\u0259 ciddi s\u00f6hb\u0259t ed\u0259c\u0259yini n\u0259z\u0259r\u0259 alaraq, binan\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda deyil, bir q\u0259d\u0259r aral\u0131da \u2013M\u0259d\u0259niyy\u0259t evinin yan\u0131ndak\u0131 parkda onu g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi. Burada var-g\u0259l edir, arada saat\u0131na bax\u0131rd\u0131. \u0130lk bax\u0131\u015fdan qan\u0131 qara oldu\u011fu anla\u015f\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u0259l\u0259 alma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fsa da, bacarm\u0131rd\u0131.
\nAvtova\u011fzala ged\u0259n yol m\u0259d\u0259niyy\u0259t evinin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndan ke\u00e7irdi. M\u0259rdan birinci avtobusla Bak\u0131ya qay\u0131tmaq ist\u0259di. Taleyin h\u00f6km\u00fcn\u0259 boyun \u0259ym\u0259kd\u0259n \u00f6zg\u0259 \u00e7ar\u0259si qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131.
\nO parka yax\u0131nla\u015fanda k\u0259ndd\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131la\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u0259nci \u2013 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u018fziz\u0259nin ni\u015fanl\u0131s\u0131 kimi q\u0259l\u0259m\u0259 ver\u0259n Natiqi g\u00f6r\u00fcb ayaq saxlad\u0131. Natiq onu g\u00f6rm\u00fcrd\u00fc, o \u0259ks t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rind\u0259n, duru\u015fundan kimi is\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259diyi bilinirdi. V\u0259 \u00e7ox ke\u00e7m\u0259di ki, h\u0259min \u015f\u0259xs g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc. M\u0259rdan\u0131n \u00fcr\u0259yi tez-tez d\u00f6y\u00fcnm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. Daxilind\u0259 el\u0259 bil n\u0259s\u0259 q\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131. G\u0259l\u0259n \u018fziz\u0259 idi. Onun ilk m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259ti. Taleyi! \u00d6mr\u00fc-g\u00fcn\u00fc! S\u0259ad\u0259ti! Varl\u0131\u011f\u0131!
\n\u018fziz\u0259 iti add\u0131mlarla g\u0259lirdi. Lakin bird\u0259n yerind\u0259 donub qald\u0131. Natiq ona sar\u0131 getdi. Bayaqdan Natiq\u0259 do\u011fru g\u0259l\u0259n, g\u00f6zl\u0259ri onda olan \u018fziz\u0259 indi sanki Natiqi g\u00f6rm\u00fcrd\u00fc. G\u00f6zl\u0259ri nisb\u0259t\u0259n uzaqlara dikilmi\u015fdi.
\nM\u0259rdanla \u018fziz\u0259nin bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 toqqu\u015fdu. Natiq q\u0131z\u0131n h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tsiz v\u0259 \u00e7a\u015fq\u0131n oldu\u011funu g\u00f6r\u00fcb onun \u0259lind\u0259n tutmaq ist\u0259di. \u018fziz\u0259 Natiqin varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hiss etmirmi\u015f kimi yerind\u0259n qopdu:
\n– M\u0259rdan! Deyib ir\u0259li s\u0131\u00e7rad\u0131 v\u0259 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tsiz halda M\u0259rdan\u0131n qollar\u0131 aras\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc.
\nNatiq d\u00f6n\u00fcb baxd\u0131qda o g\u00fcn rastla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u0259nci g\u00f6rd\u00fc.
\nS\u0259h\u0259r konserti gedirdi. Dir\u0259y\u0259 b\u0259nd edilmi\u015f radiodan \u015f\u0259n, oynaq musiqi s\u0259dalar\u0131 \u0259trafa yay\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. M\u00fc\u011f\u0259nni i\u015fv\u0259naz il\u0259 oxuyurdu: \u00ab\u2026aldanma s\u00f6zl\u0259r\u0259\u2026\u00bb
\n( S O N )<\/p>\n

Bak\u0131 \u2013 \u018fli Bayraml\u0131 (\u015eirvan) \u2013 Bak\u0131
\n1999-cu il.<\/p>\n




\n<\/p>\n

Yaz\u0131ya 629 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(\u201cAldanma s\u00f6zl\u0259r\u0259\u201d roman\u0131ndan) (\u0259vv\u0259li var) B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 bir simli iki saz\u0131q biz, S\u0259n qansan, m\u0259n \u00fcr\u0259k \u2013 ayr\u0131lmaz\u0131q biz M\u0259mm\u0259d Araz \u018fsas \u018fziz\u0259nin fikri idi. G\u00f6zalt\u0131s\u0131 olsayd\u0131, dey\u0259rdi. Qal\u0131rd\u0131 anas\u0131n\u0131n xeyir-duas\u0131. Bu xeyir-duan\u0131 alaca\u011f\u0131na Natiqin \u015f\u0259kk-\u015f\u00fcbh\u0259si yox idi. Odur ki, son g\u00fcnl\u0259r o, \u0259l-alt\u0131ndan d\u00fckan-bazar\u0131 g\u0259zir, xeyir i\u015f \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn alaca\u011f\u0131 b\u0259zi \u015feyl\u0259ri qaralay\u0131rd\u0131. Evd\u0259kil\u0259r\u0259 h\u0259l\u0259 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6147,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10201"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10201"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10201\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10202,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10201\/revisions\/10202"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6147"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10201"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10201"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10201"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}