Q\u0259dim M\u0259mm\u0259dli<\/span><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n
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\u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc xilas<\/p>\n
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Gec\u0259 saat 01:00. \u018fslind\u0259 \u00e7ox da u\u011furlu g\u00fcn deyildi. B il\u0259 yuxum t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r\u00a0 i\u00e7\u0259nd\u0259n\u00a0 sonra yeni m\u0259skunla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m nat\u0259miz, yuyulmam\u0131\u015f qab-qacaqlarla, \u00e7irkli paltarlarla dolu, normal geni\u015flikd\u0259, yaln\u0131z \u0259trafdak\u0131 \u0259\u015fyalar y\u00f6nd\u0259msiz d\u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fcy\u00fcn\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 \u00e7ox dar\u0131sqal olan t\u0259k otaql\u0131 evimin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t dayan\u0131b h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259n i\u00e7\u0259ri girdim. Qap\u0131ya a\u00e7ar\u0131n t\u0259rs t\u0259r\u0259fini yerl\u0259\u015fdirdiyimi anlad\u0131qdan sonra d\u00fczg\u00fcn t\u0259r\u0259fi il\u0259 qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131m. V\u0259 onun zar\u0131ma\u011f\u0131 xat\u0131rladan c\u0131r\u0131ldamas\u0131 m\u0259nd\u0259 \u00e7ox pis melanxoliyaya s\u0259b\u0259b oldu. \u0130\u00e7kili oldu\u011fuma g\u00f6r\u0259 is\u0259 daha da \u00fcrk\u00fcd\u00fcc\u00fc t\u0259sir ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131 bu s\u0259s. \u0130\u00e7\u0259ri girm\u0259mi\u015f qap\u0131n\u0131 yenid\u0259n ba\u011flad\u0131m v\u0259 Bak\u0131n\u0131n m\u0259nas\u0131z k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rini g\u0259zm\u0259k niyy\u0259ti il\u0259 yola d\u00fcz\u0259ldim. H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259ki kimi gec\u0259 lampalar\u0131 il\u0259 b\u0259z\u0259dilmi\u015f k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259nin divarlar\u0131ndak\u0131 sevgi etiraflar\u0131n\u0131 , zibil atanlar\u0131n \u015f\u0259nin\u0259\u00a0 yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir ne\u00e7\u0259 s\u00f6zd\u0259n ibar\u0259t \u201chekay\u0259\u201dl\u0259rin \u015fahidi oldum. Bir \u015feyi etiraf etm\u0259k ist\u0259yir\u0259m ki, Az\u0259rbaycan\u0131n qald\u0131\u011f\u0131m hiss\u0259sind\u0259ki s\u00f6y\u00fc\u015f ehtiyat\u0131 \u00e7ox z\u0259ngin idi. \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259 ki, yaz\u0131lan \u201chekay\u0259\u201dl\u0259ri n\u0259ql etm\u0259k niyy\u0259tim yoxdur. D\u00fcz\u00fc yad\u0131mda da qalm\u0131r , amma Remark\u0131n dediyi kimi, \u201cinsanlar m\u00fcdafi\u0259 olunmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn qat\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f s\u00f6zl\u0259rd\u0259n istifad\u0259 edirl\u0259r\u201d. Y\u0259qin ki, torpaq sah\u0259l\u0259rini v\u0259 yaxud da ekologiyan\u0131 qorumaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, qat\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f bir \u00e7ox s\u00f6zl\u0259r g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n
Bir xeyli g\u0259zdikd\u0259n sonra ev\u0259 d\u00f6nd\u00fcm. Qap\u0131 ba\u011fl\u0131 idi, amma p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcm q\u0259d\u0259ri il\u0259 evin i\u015f\u0131qlar\u0131 yan\u0131rd\u0131. M\u0259n art\u0131q bir ay \u00a0idi ki, bu m\u0259nzild\u0259 kiray\u0259 qal\u0131rd\u0131m v\u0259 indiy\u0259 kimi evin i\u015f\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 yan\u0131l\u0131 unutmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Amma h\u0259r hal ki, bu d\u0259f\u0259 unutmu\u015fam d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259si il\u0259 qap\u0131m\u0131 a\u00e7maq ist\u0259dim. Amma qap\u0131 a\u00e7arla ba\u011flanmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. A\u00e7ar\u0131 qap\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 unutmu\u015fdum v\u0259 evd\u0259ki nam\u0259lum \u015f\u0259xs d\u0259 a\u00e7ara d\u0259ym\u0259mi\u015fdi. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259k ist\u0259dim v\u0259 i\u00e7kili olanda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rimin normal oldu\u011funu, amma s\u00fcr\u0259tli olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlad\u0131m. Normal s\u0259rxo\u015f adam kimi d\u0259 deyildim, qorxu hissinin yarand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n \u015fahidi olurdum. El\u0259 bil ki, s\u0259rxo\u015fluqla ay\u0131lmaq aras\u0131nda\u00a0 qalan bo\u015flu\u011fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm. N\u0259 is\u0259, \u00a0\u015eerlok Holmsun mac\u0259ralar\u0131 kitab\u0131n\u0131n bir ne\u00e7\u0259 epizodu a\u011fl\u0131mda canlansa da \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc x\u0259fiyy\u0259 kimi hiss ed\u0259 bilm\u0259dim v\u0259 soyuq t\u0259rl\u0259 yana\u015f\u0131 ya\u015famaq ist\u0259yimin bir xeyli art\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hiss etdim. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 saniy\u0259 sonra bunlar\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n yuxusuzluqdan v\u0259 s\u0259rxo\u015fluqdan yaranan bir hallisunasiya oldu\u011funu q\u0259rarla\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131m. Amma yox. \u0130\u015f\u0131q yan\u0131l\u0131 v\u0259 qap\u0131 i\u00e7\u0259rid\u0259n q\u0131f\u0131ll\u0131 idi.\u00a0\u00a0 L\u0259n\u0259t \u015feytana deyib qap\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6yd\u00fcm. Daha do\u011fru des\u0259k qap\u0131ya ehmall\u0131ca iki d\u0259f\u0259 toxundum. A\u011f\u0131r add\u0131m s\u0259sl\u0259ri g\u0259ldi, zar\u0131ma\u011fa ba\u015flayan qap\u0131 normal s\u00fcr\u0259tl\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131lma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131, amma bu m\u0259n\u0259 \u00e7ox uzun zaman kimi t\u0259sir ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131 v\u0259 o m\u00fcdd\u0259t \u0259rzind\u0259 sanki daxili orqanlar\u0131m\u0131n y\u00fcng\u00fcll\u0259\u015fdiyini, getdikc\u0259 qravitasiya sah\u0259sinin t\u0259sirind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hiss edirdim.<\/p>\n
– Harda qalm\u0131san? Bayaqdan s\u0259ni g\u00f6zl\u0259yir\u0259m.<\/p>\n
– Biraz g\u0259zirdim, \u2013 he\u00e7 bir \u015fey hiss etdirm\u0259d\u0259n dedim v\u0259 a\u011fl\u0131ma g\u0259l\u0259n ilk c\u00fcml\u0259ni d\u0259 \u0259vv\u0259lki c\u00fcml\u0259y\u0259 calad\u0131m, – c\u0259miyy\u0259timiz d\u00fcz\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k.<\/p>\n
B-nin \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6r\u0259n kimi daxili orqanlar\u0131m yenid\u0259n \u00f6z m\u00f6vqel\u0259rind\u0259 q\u0259rarla\u015fd\u0131 v\u0259 onun m\u0259n\u0259 verdiyi \u201cbu g\u00fcn s\u0259ninl\u0259 qala bil\u0259r\u0259m?\u201d sual\u0131na verdiyim\u201dh\u0259\u201d cavab\u0131 yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc.<\/p>\n
– Biz bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259nin \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 s\u0259ninl\u0259 \u00e7ox m\u00fczakir\u0259 aparm\u0131\u015f\u0131q \u00a0ax\u0131, – s\u0259liq\u0259 il\u0259 d\u00fcz\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f di\u015fl\u0259rini g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259r\u0259k g\u00fclm\u0259k ist\u0259di, amma bacara bilm\u0259diyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 x\u0259fif q\u0131zard\u0131, – Bir az t\u0259mizlik i\u015fl\u0259ri g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m.<\/p>\n
– Ka\u015f ki, \u0259ziyy\u0259t \u00e7\u0259km\u0259zdin, – biraz duruxandan sonra g\u00fccl\u0259 dedim. Utand\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan ev\u0259 girm\u0259k ist\u0259mirdim.<\/p>\n
– \u018fziyy\u0259ti yoxdur. H\u0259m d\u0259 ki, \u00f6z\u00fcn demi\u015fdin t\u0259mizlik ed\u0259rs\u0259n evd\u0259, – g\u00fcld\u00fc – Ke\u00e7 ev\u0259, dayanma orda.<\/p>\n
\u018fslind\u0259 B m\u0259nim \u0259n yax\u0131n v\u0259 t\u0259k dostum idi. M\u0259nim sa\u00e7\u0131m kimi qap-qara, q\u0131vr\u0131m sa\u00e7lar\u0131 v\u0259 saqqal\u0131, 179 sm. boyu, ah\u0259ngdar geyimi, da\u015f kimi v\u0259 \u00e7ox iri \u0259ll\u0259ri,\u00a0 inan\u0131lmaz g\u00fcc\u00fc (g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc ilk d\u0259f\u0259 kafel\u0259rin birind\u0259 iki d\u0259n\u0259, \u0259n az onun boyda olan g\u0259nci bir z\u0259rb\u0259yl\u0259 yer\u0259 y\u0131xanda g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm) v\u0259 bunlarla yana\u015f\u0131 k\u00fcbarl\u0131\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 f\u0259hl\u0259 i\u015f yolda\u015flar\u0131ndan se\u00e7ilirdi. 30 ya\u015f\u0131 var idi. Orta t\u0259hsilli idi, amma, bir \u00e7ox ali t\u0259hsillil\u0259rd\u0259n \u00e7ox kitab oxumu\u015fdu. Oxuduqlar\u0131 b\u0259dii \u0259d\u0259biyyata aid kitablar idi. M\u0259n\u0259 deyirdi ki, d\u00fcnyadan bir azca bez\u0259n kimi \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc b\u0259dii \u0259s\u0259rin i\u00e7in\u0259 at\u0131r v\u0259 \u0259s\u0259r bit\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r onu d\u00fcnyaya ba\u011flayan t\u0259k \u015fey tualet olur (o da istisna hallarda).<\/p>\n
Qald\u0131\u011f\u0131m m\u0259h\u0259ll\u0259y\u0259 dem\u0259k olar ki, eyni vaxtda k\u00f6\u00e7m\u00fc\u015fd\u00fck. M\u0259skunla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bir aydan b\u0259ri m\u0259niml\u0259 \u00e7ox s\u0131x m\u00fcnasib\u0259t qurmu\u015fdu. \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc h\u0259yatdan tamamil\u0259 k\u00fcsm\u00fc\u015f, toplum t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n p\u00fcsk\u00fcrd\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f, s\u0259liq\u0259siz h\u0259yat\u0131n s\u0259liq\u0259siz n\u00fcmay\u0259nd\u0259si kimi tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m an g\u0259lmi\u015f v\u0259 \u0259slind\u0259 k\u0259nar\u0131n m\u0259n\u0259 toplumdan daha uy\u011fun oldu\u011funun f\u0259rqin\u0259 varma\u011f\u0131ma \u00e7ox b\u00f6y\u00fck k\u00f6m\u0259yi d\u0259ymi\u015fdi. Dediyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 insan d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259 b\u0259nz\u0259rini tapanda v\u0259 yaxud da tapd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 z\u0259nn ed\u0259nd\u0259 m\u00fctl\u0259q h\u0259min \u015f\u0259xsl\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259t qurmal\u0131d\u0131r. \u018fg\u0259r h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259n d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259r \u00fcst-\u00fcst\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrs\u0259, y\u0259ni m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n \u015f\u0259xs h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259n s\u0259n\u0259 b\u0259nz\u0259yirs\u0259, ona qar\u015f\u0131 g\u00fcv\u0259n hissi formala\u015facaq. M\u0259n\u0259 g\u00fcv\u0259ndiyini deyirdi v\u0259 \u00e7ox q\u0259rib\u0259 idi ki, tan\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fum g\u00fcnd\u0259n etibar\u0259n m\u0259n d\u0259 ona g\u00fcv\u0259nirdim. \u00a0Onunla ke\u00e7irm\u0259diyim saatlara heyfim g\u0259lirdi. Divarlar\u0131na \u201cbura bizim m\u0259h\u0259ll\u0259di, ehtiyatl\u0131 ol!\u201d kimi c\u00fcml\u0259l\u0259r yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f m\u0259h\u0259ll\u0259miz\u0259 yax\u0131n\u00a0 ist\u0259nil\u0259n kafed\u0259 \u00a0oturub saatlarla s\u00f6hb\u0259t edirdik. \u00c7ox q\u0259rib\u0259 fikir yeritm\u0259 qabiliyy\u0259ti var idi. Dan\u0131\u015fark\u0259n g\u00f6zl\u0259rimin i\u00e7in\u0259 bax\u0131r, sanki aram\u0131zda g\u00f6z\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259z ba\u011f\u0131 h\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 m\u00f6hk\u0259ml\u0259tm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn g\u00f6zl\u0259rini daha da b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u0259r\u0259k s\u0259s tonun al\u00e7ald\u0131r v\u0259 ona diqq\u0259t k\u0259silm\u0259yimi ist\u0259yirdi. Bir anl\u0131\u011fa D\u00fcnya yerind\u0259 f\u0131rlanmadan dayan\u0131r, \u0259trafdak\u0131 15 stolun h\u0259r birinin \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259ki n\u0259rdin s\u0259thind\u0259 diyirl\u0259n\u0259n 30 \u0259d\u0259d z\u0259rin s\u0259si, s\u00f6y\u00fcl\u0259n s\u00f6y\u00fc\u015fl\u0259r, \u0259trafdak\u0131 g\u0259ncl\u0259rin \u00fcr\u0259kd\u0259n, q\u0131\u015fq\u0131raraq g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fc, magistral yoldak\u0131 ma\u015f\u0131nlar\u0131n siqnal\u0131 v\u0259 radioda s\u0259sl\u0259n\u0259n x\u0131\u015f\u0131lt\u0131l\u0131 nitq bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259qiq\u0259lik arxa planda ovularaq yox olurdu. S\u00fckut v\u0259 B-nin il\u0131q s\u0259si. Bu s\u0259sin sehrin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259m\u0259k m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyildi. O s\u0259sd\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 aid n\u0259 is\u0259 var idi v\u0259 m\u0259n buna \u0259min idim. Diqq\u0259tl\u0259 qulaq as\u0131r, s\u00f6z a\u00e7d\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u00f6vrl\u0259rin, yerl\u0259rin, idealogiyalar\u0131n, inanclar\u0131n \u00a0sehrin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fcm. Onunla ke\u00e7irdiyim bir ayl\u0131q m\u00fcdd\u0259ti \u0259vv\u0259lki nam\u0259lum \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u0259 d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259zdim. Onunla g\u00f6z\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259z ba\u011f\u0131m \u00e7ox g\u00fccl\u00fc idi. Nitqini bitir\u0259nd\u0259 yadda\u015f\u0131m\u0131n d\u0259rinlikl\u0259rind\u0259 n\u0259s\u0259 bir ayd\u0131nlanma hiss edirdim, bir \u0259liml\u0259 dig\u0259r \u0259limi m\u00f6hk\u0259mc\u0259 s\u0131xd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n f\u0259rqin\u0259 var\u0131b onlar\u0131 aralay\u0131rd\u0131m. G\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259diyim anda qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndak\u0131 piv\u0259ni bir n\u0259f\u0259s\u0259 bitir\u0259r v\u0259 bu \u0259snada d\u00fcnya yenid\u0259n f\u0131rlanma\u011fa ba\u015flayar, h\u0259r\u00a0 \u015feyin, h\u0259r k\u0259sin s\u0259si neyronlar\u0131m\u0131 q\u0131d\u0131qlayard\u0131.<\/p>\n
Biz ev\u0259 girdik. Giri\u015fd\u0259, qap\u0131n\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131nda iki d\u0259n\u0259 iri, dolu paket diqq\u0259timi c\u0259lb etdi. \u00dcst\u00fcnd\u0259ki emblem m\u0259n\u0259 n\u0259 is\u0259 xat\u0131rlatd\u0131 sanki. Ya televizorda g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm, ya da ba\u015fqa bir yerd\u0259. Onu bilir\u0259m ki, \u00e7ox s\u0131x rastla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u015fey idi, amma \u00e7ox da fikir verm\u0259dim buna. Utand\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan evimin i\u00e7ind\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc qonaq kimi hiss edirdim. Kiray\u0259 qald\u0131\u011f\u0131m g\u00fcnd\u0259n b\u0259ri evin i\u00e7i bu q\u0259d\u0259r b\u00f6y\u00fck v\u0259 t\u0259miz olmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. M\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259n zaman B qablar\u0131 yuyurdu. \u015eampunlu \u0259li il\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 qap\u0131n\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131nda olan iki d\u0259n\u0259 iri\u00a0 paketl\u0259ri g\u00f6st\u0259rib oradak\u0131 paltarlar\u0131 sabah \u00e7ama\u015f\u0131rxanaya apar\u0131b yuduzdurma\u011f\u0131m\u0131 tap\u015f\u0131rd\u0131 v\u0259 \u201clet it snow\u201dnu z\u00fcmz\u00fcm\u0259 el\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k i\u015fin\u0259 davam etdi.<\/p>\n
H\u0259min gec\u0259\u00a0 B il\u0259 \u00e7ox s\u00f6hb\u0259t etdik. Daha d\u0259qiq des\u0259k o dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131, m\u0259n dinl\u0259dim. Ona bundan, y\u0259ni durmadan dan\u0131\u015fma\u011f\u0131ndan v\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndak\u0131n\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131b ona sad\u0259c\u0259 qulaq asmas\u0131ndan narahat olub olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 soru\u015fanda is\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 cavab olaraq dedi ki, \u201cinsan kiminl\u0259 \u00e7ox dan\u0131\u015fmaq ist\u0259yirs\u0259, \u0259n \u00e7ox onun yan\u0131nda susur. S\u0259n susaraq m\u0259niml\u0259 dioloq qurursan\u201d. Onun m\u0259n\u0259 dediyi h\u0259r bir c\u00fcml\u0259nin ayd\u0131nlanma\u011f\u0131ma s\u0259b\u0259b olmas\u0131 sad\u0259c\u0259 olaraq m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259 idi…<\/p>\n
H\u0259min gec\u0259 h\u00f6rm\u0259t \u0259lam\u0259ti olaraq, m\u0259nim yerd\u0259, onun is\u0259 m\u0259nim \u00e7arpay\u0131mda \u00a0yatmas\u0131n\u0131 ist\u0259dim. N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r t\u0259kid ets\u0259m d\u0259, xeyri olmad\u0131. Yerd\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fc yatd\u0131.<\/p>\n
S\u0259h\u0259r yuxudan ay\u0131l\u0131b g\u00fccl\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc a\u00e7d\u0131m. Yuxudan indi qalxma\u011f\u0131ma baxmayaraq, beynim sanki g\u00fcn uzunu q\u0259d\u0259rind\u0259n \u00e7ox y\u00fckl\u0259nmi\u015f, gec\u0259 yatma\u011f\u0131m\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi. Sakit-sakit a\u011fray\u0131rd\u0131 v\u0259 i\u00e7inin dolu oldu\u011funu hiss edirdim, a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131q edirdi. G\u00fcn \u0259rzind\u0259 insan beynind\u0259n ortalama s\u0259ks\u0259n min fikir ke\u00e7ir v\u0259 \u0259n \u00e7ox hans\u0131 m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u00fcks\u0259, g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131z m\u0259hz onun \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 qurulur. Beynim \u201cs\u0259ks\u0259n mini\u201dni doldurmu\u015fdu sanki. Aya\u011fa qalx\u0131b a\u011fr\u0131 k\u0259sici atmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn m\u0259tb\u0259x\u0259 ke\u00e7ib soyuducunun \u201cd\u0259rman qoyulan\u201d g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 baxd\u0131m. Bir a\u011fr\u0131 k\u0259sici qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 v\u0259 onun da ka\u011f\u0131z\u0131 bir az c\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259 ki, o c\u0131r\u0131\u011fa fikir ver\u0259c\u0259k q\u0259d\u0259r \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc yax\u015f\u0131 hiss el\u0259mirdim. Stolun \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259ki, uzun m\u00fcdd\u0259tdir ki, bo\u015f olan, yaln\u0131z bu g\u00fcn B t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n doldurulmu\u015f qrafinka var idi. Qrafinkadan bir st\u0259kan dolusu su s\u00fcz\u00fcb d\u0259rman\u0131m\u0131 i\u00e7dim. D\u0259rind\u0259n n\u0259f\u0259s al\u0131b yenid\u0259n ota\u011fa qay\u0131td\u0131m. Paketin \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259ki emblem yenid\u0259n g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 sata\u015fd\u0131. El\u0259 o anda ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131n \u00fc\u015f\u00fcd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc hiss etdim. Bird\u0259n m\u0259d\u0259min \u00fcst hiss\u0259sind\u0259 yumulmu\u015f, bir ovuc dolusu s\u0131x\u0131nt\u0131, onur\u011fa s\u00fctunumun \u00a0\u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259ki yenic\u0259 d\u0259rini t\u0259rk etmi\u015f t\u0259rin soyumas\u0131na s\u0259b\u0259b oldu. Bayaqdan m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259nl\u0259\u015fdir\u0259 bilm\u0259diyim qeyri-m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n s\u0259s uzaqdan g\u0259l\u0259n t\u0259cili yard\u0131m ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131n\u0131n s\u0259si imi\u015f. Ba\u015f\u0131m gic\u0259ll\u0259nm\u0259y\u0259, \u0259traf qaralma\u011fa ba\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131. Qap\u0131 iki d\u0259f\u0259 m\u00f6hk\u0259m d\u00f6y\u00fcld\u00fc, \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc d\u0259f\u0259 q\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131. Qap\u0131dan i\u00e7\u0259ri daxil olan B-nin \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00fccl\u0259 se\u00e7\u0259 bildim. M\u00fcvazin\u0259timi itirib yer\u0259 s\u0259rildim…<\/p>\n
\u00c7ox \u00e7\u0259tin d\u0259 olsa g\u00f6zl\u0259rimi a\u00e7d\u0131m. U\u015faql\u0131qdan nifr\u0259t etdiyim x\u0259st\u0259xana qoxusu… Sol qolumdan damar\u0131ma yeridil\u0259n sistemi yoxlamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn n\u0259zar\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259n tibb bac\u0131s\u0131 tez otaqdan bay\u0131ra \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Dey\u0259s\u0259n\u00a0 oyand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 idi bu t\u0259la\u015f\u0131. Ota\u011fa ba\u015f h\u0259kim g\u0259ldi. O da h\u0259y\u0259canl\u0131 g\u00f6rs\u0259nirdi.<\/p>\n
– Nec\u0259s\u0259n o\u011flum?<\/p>\n
– Yax\u015f\u0131yam, – dedim, – ail\u0259m nec\u0259di? Onlar da yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131lar?<\/p>\n
Bu m\u0259qamda t\u0259ngn\u0259f\u0259s i\u00e7\u0259ri gir\u0259n B-nin – qarda\u015f\u0131m\u0131n t\u0259la\u015f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcb yata\u011f\u0131mdan qalxmaq ist\u0259dim. Amma ba\u015f\u0131mda g\u00fccl\u00fc a\u011fr\u0131 oldu\u011funu hiss ed\u0259nd\u0259n sonra yenid\u0259n yerim\u0259 uzan\u0131b onun g\u0259lm\u0259sini g\u00f6zl\u0259dim. H\u0259kim\u0259 baxd\u0131. H\u0259kim ba\u015f\u0131 il\u0259 raz\u0131l\u0131q \u0259lam\u0259ti bildirib g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259di. Qarda\u015f\u0131m sevincind\u0259n m\u0259ni el\u0259 qucaqlad\u0131 ki, az qals\u0131n sistem damar\u0131mdan \u00e7\u0131xacaqd\u0131. He\u00e7 n\u0259 anlamadan ona bax\u0131b n\u0259 m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 oldu\u011funu ayd\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131rmaq ist\u0259yirdim. Amma o a\u011fz\u0131m\u0131 a\u00e7ma\u011fa imkan vermirdi, el\u0259 hey g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yib yuxar\u0131 baxaraq \u015f\u00fckr edir, g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin alt\u0131nda toplanan damlan\u0131 m\u0259har\u0259tl\u0259 yerind\u0259 saxlay\u0131rd\u0131. Tibb bac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131b m\u0259n\u0259 sakitl\u0259\u015fdirici vurdurmasayd\u0131, y\u0259qin ki, boksyor oldu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn da\u015fla\u015fan, iril\u0259\u015f\u0259n \u0259ll\u0259rinin aras\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131xma\u011f\u0131 bacara bil\u0259c\u0259kdim…<\/p>\n
Art\u0131q \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n bir ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcn\u00a0 ke\u00e7\u0259nd\u0259n sonra B m\u0259n\u0259 yol q\u0259zas\u0131nda atam\u0131z\u0131 v\u0259 anam\u0131z\u0131 itirdiyimi demi\u015fdi. \u00c7\u0259tin d\u0259 olsa h\u0259zm ed\u0259 bilmi\u015fdim. Beynimd\u0259 olan bir ne\u00e7\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259mmal\u0131 xatir\u0259l\u0259r, bir-biri il\u0259 \u00fcst-\u00fcst\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259n bir ne\u00e7\u0259 n\u00fcanslar var idi. Bunlar\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 B il\u0259 b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm, cavab tapmaqda acizlik \u00e7\u0259diyimi bildirdim.\u00a0 O m\u0259n\u0259 cavab olaraq…<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
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***<\/p>\n
B-nin monoloqu:<\/p>\n
Siz \u2013 anam, atam v\u0259 s\u0259n t\u0259til\u0259 getm\u0259li idiniz. M\u0259nim turnirim oldu\u011funa g\u00f6r\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdim. \u015e\u0259h\u0259rin \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f\u0131nda yol q\u0259zas\u0131 ke\u00e7irmisiniz. Yol q\u0259zas\u0131nda ana va atam\u0131z v\u0259fat edib. S\u0259nin \u00a0sa\u011f \u00e7\u0131xma\u011f\u0131n is\u0259 sad\u0259c\u0259 olaraq, \u00a0m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259 oldu. B\u0259d\u0259nind\u0259 t\u0259k bir c\u0131z\u0131q bel\u0259 yox idi, amma ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 m\u00f6hk\u0259m \u00e7\u0131rpm\u0131\u015fd\u0131n. Yadda\u015f\u0131n itmi\u015fdi. H\u0259kimin dediyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 qay\u0131tsa bel\u0259,\u00a0 bunun da ad\u0131n\u0131 m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259 qoymaq olard\u0131. S\u0259nin g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u00f6rs\u0259nm\u0259dim ilk iki g\u00fcn. \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fczd\u0259n ba\u015fqa he\u00e7 bir qohum \u0259qr\u0259bam\u0131z\u0131n \u00a0olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn\u00a0 valideynl\u0259rimizin d\u0259fn m\u0259rasiml\u0259rini layiqinc\u0259 yerin\u0259 yetirm\u0259k m\u0259nim \u00fcst\u00fcm\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc. O iki g\u00fcn \u0259rzind\u0259 hava almaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ba\u011f\u00e7aya \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b taksiy\u0259 minmis\u0259n. \u00d6z\u00fcn d\u0259 bilm\u0259d\u0259n q\u0259za ba\u015f ver\u0259n yer\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r\u00a0 g\u0259lib d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb, bir iki saat piyada g\u0259zdikd\u0259n sonra bir q\u0259s\u0259b\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7atm\u0131san. Burda bir ev kiralay\u0131b orda qalm\u0131san. S\u0259ni 3 g\u00fcn \u0259rzind\u0259 tapa bildik. H\u0259kiml\u0259rin ciddi tap\u015f\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 s\u0259nin m\u0259nim qarda\u015f\u0131m olma\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bird\u0259n-bir\u0259 dey\u0259 bilm\u0259zdim v\u0259 ona g\u00f6r\u0259 \u015f\u00fcph\u0259l\u0259ndirm\u0259m\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn f\u0259hl\u0259 oldu\u011fumu dedim. Onsuz da bu m\u0259nas\u0131z olacaqd\u0131 y\u0259ni, s\u0259n m\u0259nim s\u0259nin qarda\u015f\u0131n olma\u011f\u0131ma inanmayacaqd\u0131n. S\u0259ninl\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m b\u00fct\u00fcn hadis\u0259l\u0259ri eynil\u0259 t\u0259krar etm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131m. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc xat\u0131rlama\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ist\u0259yirdim. Onda b\u00fct\u00fcn m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259l\u0259r \u00f6z h\u0259llini tapacaqd\u0131. \u201cD\u00fcnyan\u0131 t\u0259\u015fkil ed\u0259n h\u0259r k\u0259si yaln\u0131z \u00f6z\u00fc xilas ed\u0259c\u0259k. Xarici t\u0259sir n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r g\u00fccl\u00fc olursa olsun \u201cm\u0259n\u201dinin t\u0259sirind\u0259n d\u0259fl\u0259rl\u0259 z\u0259ifdir. \u018fn pis v\u0259ziyy\u0259tl\u0259rimd\u0259 bel\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc k\u00f6m\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131b d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fcm v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xa bilir\u0259m,\u201d fikirl\u0259rinin sahibin\u0259 – s\u0259n\u0259, yaln\u0131z v\u0259 yaln\u0131z \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc xat\u0131rltmaq laz\u0131m idi. S\u0259nin m\u0259niml\u0259 b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fcn fikirl\u0259ri yenid\u0259n s\u0259n\u0259 qaytar\u0131rd\u0131m. Dediyim b\u00fct\u00fcn s\u00f6zl\u0259r, fikirl\u0259r, s\u0259n\u0259 aid idi. G\u00fcnd\u0259liyind\u0259ki b\u00fct\u00fcn yaz\u0131lar\u0131 \u0259zb\u0259rl\u0259yib bir-bir s\u0259n\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. Fikirl\u0259r s\u0259nin fikirl\u0259rin idi. S\u0259n xarakter olaraq \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc sev\u0259n bir adam idin, n\u0259tic\u0259 etibar\u0131 il\u0259 \u201csaxta s\u0259ni\u201d y\u0259ni, m\u0259ni sevm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131n. Bir ay ke\u00e7dikd\u0259n sonra h\u0259kimin g\u00f6st\u0259ri\u015fi il\u0259 s\u0259ni q\u0259d\u0259rind\u0259n \u00e7ox \u00a0i\u00e7irdib, s\u0259h\u0259rki ba\u015f a\u011fr\u0131n\u0131n yaranmas\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259min \u00a0ed\u0259 bildim. Qald\u0131\u011f\u0131n evi d\u0259 t\u0259hvil verm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn s\u0259liq\u0259y\u0259 sald\u0131m. A\u011fr\u0131 k\u0259sicinin yerin\u0259 h\u0259kimin verdiyi x\u00fcsusi d\u0259rman\u0131 yerl\u0259\u015fdirdim. S\u0259n\u0259 p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259nin ard\u0131ndan bax\u0131rd\u0131m. S\u0259n oyanmam\u0131\u015fdan \u00f6nc\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6l\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b, qap\u0131n\u0131 ba\u011flad\u0131qda avtomatik kilid\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u0259 fikir verm\u0259diyim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn qap\u0131n\u0131 q\u0131rma\u011fa m\u0259cbur olmu\u015fdum. D\u0259rman\u0131n bu q\u0259d\u0259r tez t\u0259sir ed\u0259c\u0259yini bilm\u0259diyim\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 s\u0259nin yan\u0131na \u00e7at\u0131b y\u0131x\u0131lma\u011f\u0131n\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ala bilm\u0259dim. Y\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131n, ba\u015f\u0131n yenid\u0259n yer\u0259 \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131ld\u0131. H\u0259kimin dediyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n yenid\u0259n yer\u0259 \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131lmas\u0131 il\u0259 ger\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259\u015fib, y\u0259ni m\u0259n yan\u0131nda olub, s\u0259nin y\u0131x\u0131lma\u011f\u0131n\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 alsayd\u0131m, ba\u015f\u0131n \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131lmacaqd\u0131 v\u0259 ke\u00e7mi\u015fd\u0259 olanlar\u0131 xat\u0131rlaya bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdin. Bu bir ay \u0259rzind\u0259 ya\u015fananlar\u0131n q\u0131sa m\u00fcdd\u0259tli yadda\u015f\u0131ndan silinm\u0259si is\u0259 normal hadis\u0259 idi. Yadda\u015f\u0131n q\u0259zadan sonrak\u0131 h\u0259r \u015feyi q\u0131sa m\u00fcdd\u0259tli olaraq silmi\u015fdi. Bunlar\u0131n zamanla yadda\u015f\u0131nda \u00f6z yerl\u0259rini alacaqlar\u0131n\u0131n \u015fahidi olacaqsan. Dedikl\u0259rim s\u0259n\u0259 na\u011f\u0131l kimi yox, \u00a0z\u0259if d\u0259 olsa xat\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n h\u0259qiq\u0259t kimi t\u0259sir ba\u011f\u0131\u015flayacaq…<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
Art\u0131q bu hadis\u0259nin \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n bir ne\u00e7\u0259 il ke\u00e7mi\u015fdi. \u00a0\u00dcz\u0259rind\u0259 q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 emblem olan paketl\u0259rin istehsalat\u0131n\u0131 dayand\u0131rm\u0131\u015f, istehsalat\u0131 elm sah\u0259sin\u0259 y\u00f6n\u0259ltmi\u015fdik. Atam\u0131n t\u0259m\u0259lini qoydu\u011fu firman\u0131 art\u0131q qarda\u015f\u0131m v\u0259 m\u0259n idar\u0259 edirdik.<\/p>\n
Yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fk\u0259n, onu da deyim ki, q\u0259za ba\u015f ver\u0259n an (o an\u0131 tam xat\u0131rlaya bilir\u0259m) anam qar\u015f\u0131da – atam\u0131n yan\u0131nda oturmu\u015fdu. Atam idar\u0259 etm\u0259ni itir\u0259n zaman m\u00fcdafi\u0259 olunmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcm\u00fcz d\u0259 \u00f6z ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qucaqlam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Atal\u0131q, anal\u0131q v\u0259 o\u011fulluq da bir n\u00f6qt\u0259d\u0259 yox olur. N\u0259 d\u0259 olsa, d\u00fcnyan\u0131 t\u0259\u015fkil ed\u0259n h\u0259r k\u0259si yaln\u0131z v\u0259 yaln\u0131z \u00f6z\u00fc xilas ed\u0259 bil\u0259r…<\/p>\n
Yaz\u0131ya 1312 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Q\u0259dim M\u0259mm\u0259dli \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc xilas Gec\u0259 saat 01:00. \u018fslind\u0259 \u00e7ox da u\u011furlu g\u00fcn deyildi. B il\u0259 yuxum t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r\u00a0 i\u00e7\u0259nd\u0259n\u00a0 sonra yeni m\u0259skunla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m nat\u0259miz, yuyulmam\u0131\u015f qab-qacaqlarla, \u00e7irkli paltarlarla dolu, normal geni\u015flikd\u0259, yaln\u0131z \u0259trafdak\u0131 \u0259\u015fyalar y\u00f6nd\u0259msiz d\u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fcy\u00fcn\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 \u00e7ox dar\u0131sqal olan t\u0259k otaql\u0131 evimin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t dayan\u0131b h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259n i\u00e7\u0259ri girdim. Qap\u0131ya a\u00e7ar\u0131n […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10754"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10754"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10754\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10756,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10754\/revisions\/10756"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10754"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10754"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10754"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![\"xilas\"](\"http:\/\/kultur.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/xilas.jpg\")
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