{"id":11149,"date":"2016-06-22T18:40:54","date_gmt":"2016-06-22T13:40:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=11149"},"modified":"2016-06-22T18:43:11","modified_gmt":"2016-06-22T13:43:11","slug":"xosb%c9%99xtlik-f%c9%99ndi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=11149","title":{"rendered":"“Xo\u015fb\u0259xtlik f\u0259ndi”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"qedim\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Kultur.az Q\u0259dim M\u0259mm\u0259dlinin\u00a0“Xo\u015fb\u0259xtlik f\u0259ndi” hekay\u0259sini t\u0259qdim edir:<\/strong><\/p>\n

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\u201cK\u00f6lg\u0259sind\u0259 oturdu\u011fumuz bu heyb\u0259tli qoz a\u011fac\u0131na iyirmi be\u015f il bundan \u00f6nc\u0259 iki barmaq d\u0259rinliyind\u0259 torpa\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7in\u0259 qoydu\u011fum toxumun \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 sad\u0259c\u0259 bir st\u0259kan su t\u00f6km\u0259kl\u0259 h\u0259yat vermi\u015f\u0259m\u201d \u2013deyirdi babam. M\u0259n\u0259 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u00fc g\u0259lirdi a\u011fac\u0131n m\u0259nim ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m d\u00f6vrl\u0259rd\u0259 he\u00e7 uzanmamas\u0131 amma, \u00a0indi \u0259minlikl\u0259 dey\u0259 bil\u0259r\u0259m ki, b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fcb, hiss etm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. O\u011flum da m\u0259n\u0259 \u201cata m\u0259n\u0259el\u0259 g\u0259lir ki, a\u011fac indi \u00fcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u0259yini dayand\u0131r\u0131b\u201d \u2013 dey\u0259nd\u0259 d\u0259 , ona el\u0259 g\u0259ldiyini demi\u015fdim.\u00a0 \u018fslind\u0259 a\u011fac b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u0130ndi is\u0259 s\u0259n bu a\u011fac\u0131 k\u0259sirs\u0259n. \u00a0Hans\u0131 ki,o a\u011fac\u0131n k\u00f6lg\u0259si alt\u0131ndan\u00a0 s\u0259nin 4 arxa d\u00f6n\u0259nin ke\u00e7ib. O a\u011fac\u0131 k\u0259sm\u0259m\u0259liydin!<\/p>\n

Ad\u0259m t\u0259ng\u0259n\u0259f\u0259s yuxudan ay\u0131landa art\u0131q hava ayd\u0131nlanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. H\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb yay oldu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn g\u00f6y\u00fcn \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc qucaqlam\u0131\u015f n\u0259h\u0259ng qoz a\u011fac\u0131na baxa-baxa bir siqaret yand\u0131rd\u0131.\u00a0 O a\u011fac nec\u0259 d\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck v\u0259 \u0259l\u00e7atmaz g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. Yuxudan\u00a0 g\u00fcmrah oyanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Qolunu \u00e7irm\u0259l\u0259yib iki g\u00fcnd\u00fcr ki, fasil\u0259 il\u0259 baltalad\u0131\u011f\u0131 , diametri bir metrd\u0259n d\u0259 \u00e7ox olan qoz a\u011fac\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131na ke\u00e7di.\u201c\u018fcdad\u0131m bu\u00a0 a\u011fac\u0131n alt\u0131ndan ke\u00e7diyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, a\u011fac\u0131 k\u0259sm\u0259m\u0259liy\u0259m ki?\u201d sual\u0131n\u0131n ona verdiyi rahatlatd\u0131\u011f\u0131 hiss ed\u0259-ed\u0259, baltan\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 itil\u0259\u015fdirirdi. Siqaretin t\u00fcst\u00fcs\u00fc g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6yn\u0259ts\u0259d\u0259 yerini d\u0259yi\u015fdirmirdi. H\u0259r \u015fey haz\u0131r idi.\u00a0 \u018fynin\u0259 geyindiyi penc\u0259yi ev\u0259 qoyub , bu g\u00fcn bu a\u011fac\u0131 yerl\u0259 bir ed\u0259c\u0259kdi. Penc\u0259yini ev\u0259 qoyub qay\u0131danda is\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259ri onun t\u00fckl\u0259rini biz-biz etmi\u015fdi. O, m\u00fcvazin\u0259tini sabit saxlamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u0259lind\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259ni edirdi. A\u011fac\u0131n \u0259traf\u0131nda tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131 onlarla adam bir-biri il\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259t ed\u0259r\u0259k g\u00fcl\u00fcr, Ad\u0259mi barmaqla g\u00f6st\u0259rib onun\u00a0 hal\u0131na ac\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131lar. A\u011fac\u0131n dibind\u0259 , \u0259trafa toplanan insanlar\u0131n m\u0259rk\u0259zind\u0259 , orta ya\u015fl\u0131 bir adam Ad\u0259m\u0259 baxa -baxa \u0259lind\u0259ki toxumu torpa\u011fa basd\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. Orta ya\u015fl\u0131 h\u0259min adam aya\u011fa qalx\u0131b Ad\u0259m\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. \u018ftrafdak\u0131 insanlar\u0131 da arxas\u0131na alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.Ad\u0259m ayaqlar\u0131n\u0131n s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 baxmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hiss edirdi. \u00dcr\u0259yi s\u00fcr\u0259tl\u0259 d\u00f6y\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc.O yerind\u0259 donub qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130nsanlar Ad\u0259mi tam m\u00fchasir\u0259y\u0259 ald\u0131qda is\u0259, telefon z\u0259ngi Ad\u0259min yuxudan oyanma\u011f\u0131na s\u0259b\u0259b oldu. G\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00fccl\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131b telefonu \u0259lin\u0259 ald\u0131. N\u00f6mr\u0259ni tan\u0131m\u0131rd\u0131, bir-iki d\u0259f\u0259 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131qdan sonra s\u00f6nd\u00fcr\u00fcld\u00fc. \u00d6n\u0259mli olsa bir d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 z\u0259ng ed\u0259rl\u0259r d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259si il\u0259\u00a0 yenid\u0259n yerin\u0259 uzand\u0131. Amma bu d\u0259f\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131 onuyatma\u011fa qoymad\u0131. Ad\u0259m balaca q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0259tinlikl\u0259 d\u0259 olsa quca\u011f\u0131na al\u0131b bax\u00e7aya d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc.A\u011fac\u0131n alt\u0131na ke\u00e7ib d\u0259rind\u0259n n\u0259f\u0259s ald\u0131.Telefonu \u0259lin\u0259 al\u0131b bu g\u00fcn d\u0259 a\u011fac\u0131 k\u0259sm\u0259k istm\u0259diyini bildirdi. O q\u0259rar ver\u0259m\u0259kd\u0259 s\u0259rb\u0259st oldu\u011funu anlasa da, ist\u0259nil\u0259n halda m\u0259suliyy\u0259td\u0259n qa\u00e7a bilm\u0259diyinin,\u00a0 verdiyi q\u0259rarlar\u0131n do\u011fru oldu\u011funa v\u0259 ba\u015fqalar\u0131n\u0131 incitm\u0259diyin\u0259 \u0259min olandan sonra add\u0131m atmal\u0131 oldu\u011funun \u00a0f\u0259rqind\u0259 idi v\u0259 h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 bunun \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 qurmu\u015fdu. Valideynl\u0259rini sevindirm\u0259k, onlar\u0131 raz\u0131 salmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259nilm\u0259z q\u0259rarlar ver\u0259r, onlar\u0131n \u00fcr\u0259yin\u0259 yatan \u015feyl\u0259ri ed\u0259rdi.Beyni yoran, d\u00fczg\u00fcn i\u015fl\u0259m\u0259sinin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 alan \u0259sas n\u00fcanslardan biridir, \u0259traf\u0131n\u0131n s\u0259nin atd\u0131\u011f\u0131n add\u0131mlara olan m\u00fcnasibtl\u0259rini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259k. Ad\u0259minh\u0259yatda daha \u00e7ox u\u011fur qazana bilm\u0259m\u0259sinin s\u0259b\u0259bi d\u0259 m\u0259hz,d\u00fczg\u00fcn bildiyi add\u0131mlar\u0131 atmaq \u0259v\u0259zin\u0259, \u0259traf\u0131n\u0131 narahat etm\u0259m\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn atd\u0131\u011f\u0131 istiqam\u0259tsiz add\u0131mlar olub. N\u0259 is\u0259, Ad\u0259m q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 quca\u011f\u0131na al\u0131b yava\u015f-yava\u015f a\u011fac\u0131n k\u00f6lg\u0259sin\u0259 bula\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Q\u0131z\u0131 diq\u0259ttl\u0259 atas\u0131n\u0131n saqqal\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 bax\u0131r , onu s\u0131\u011fallay\u0131r, boynuna sar\u0131l\u0131r, barmaqlar\u0131n\u0131 atas\u0131n\u0131n uzun, q\u0131vr\u0131m sa\u00e7lar\u0131 aras\u0131nda itirir, bir s\u00f6zl\u0259, b\u00fct\u00fcn varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 atas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ox sevdiyini s\u00fcbuta yetir\u0259 bilirdi.<\/p>\n

Yol q\u0259zas\u0131 n\u0259tic\u0259sind\u0259 sa\u011f \u0259li, y\u0259ni, r\u0259sm \u0259s\u0259l\u0259rini \u0259rs\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259tir\u0259n \u0259li iflic olan istedadl\u0131 r\u0259ssam \u2013 Ad\u0259m,h\u0259yat\u0131nda olan t\u0259k qad\u0131n\u0131- balaca, 3 ya\u015fl\u0131 q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 qoxlay\u0131r, q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n sevgisini qazand\u0131\u011f\u0131na v\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc bu sevgiy\u0259 layiq bildiyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 h\u0259r g\u00fcn Tanr\u0131ya \u015f\u00fckr edirdi. Ad\u0259m sevgini qazanma\u011f\u0131n \u00a0asan oldu\u011fnu bilirdi. \u0130st\u0259nil\u0259n yolla sevgini qazanmaq olard\u0131. Pul, yalan v\u0259 bir \u00e7ox sevginin ilahiliyini arxa planda gizl\u0259d\u0259n, onu baya\u011f\u0131la\u015fd\u0131ran vasit\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 bu m\u00fcmk\u00fcn idi.El\u0259 buna g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 Ad\u0259m \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u0259sas m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259, sevgini qazand\u0131qdan sonra \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc o sevgiy\u0259 layiq bilm\u0259kdir. \u00dcr\u0259kl\u0259, b\u00fct\u00fcn varl\u0131\u011f\u0131nla, hisl\u0259rinl\u0259, m\u0259n\u0259viyyat\u0131nla, q\u00fcrurunla sevilm\u0259k , dig\u0259r vasit\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 sevilm\u0259kd\u0259n daha \u00fcst\u00fcn idi v\u0259 yaln\u0131z bel\u0259 olan halda \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc s\u0259n\u0259 olan sevgiy\u0259 layiq oldu\u011funa inand\u0131ra bil\u0259rs\u0259n… Ad\u0259m, h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131n\u0131n, onu v\u0259yeni do\u011fulmu\u015f q\u0131zlar\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259rk ed\u0259r\u0259k hans\u0131sa varl\u0131 birin\u0259 qo\u015folub getdiyi g\u00fcnd\u0259n b\u0259ri, b\u00fct\u00fcn sevgisini q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 c\u0259ml\u0259mi\u015fdi.Ayr\u0131ld\u0131qdan bir ay sonra Suada il\u0259 oldu\u011fu d\u00f6vrd\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131qlar\u0131 bina evini sat\u0131l\u0131\u011fa qoyub \u00e7ox tez zaman i\u00e7ind\u0259, oldu\u011fu qiym\u0259tin iki qat\u0131na sata bilmi\u015f v\u0259 sonuncu d\u0259f\u0259 etdiyi ziyar\u0259t u\u015faql\u0131q ill\u0259rin\u0259 t\u0259sad\u00fcf ed\u0259n baba yuvas\u0131na\u00a0 k\u00f6\u00e7m\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcl\u0259r. Ad\u0259min bu ev il\u0259 \u0259laq\u0259dar \u00e7ox xatirl\u0259ri yox idi. A\u011fac… O yaln\u0131z a\u011fac\u0131 v\u0259 babas\u0131n\u0131n ona dediyi \u201cbu a\u011fac\u0131n alt\u0131ndan s\u0259nin d\u00f6rd arxa d\u00f6n\u0259nin ke\u00e7ib\u201d c\u00fcml\u0259sini xat\u0131rlay\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ad\u0259m a\u011fac\u0131n k\u00f6lg\u0259si alt\u0131nda oturmu\u015fdu. Bird\u0259n q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n h\u0259y\u0259tin a\u015fa\u011f\u0131s\u0131ndan \u0259lind\u0259 bir paket \u015firniyyatla qay\u0131td\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc. Q\u0131z sevincind\u0259n \u201c\u015firin, \u015firin\u201d dey\u0259-dey\u0259 qa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131. Ad\u0259m bunlar\u0131 q\u0131zna kimin verdiyini maraqlanada q\u0131z\u0131 dedi ki, \u201cbunlar\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259 \u015eirin verdi\u201d. Ad\u0259m qon\u015fular\u0131nda olan bir-iki yax\u015f\u0131 insan\u0131n oldu\u011funu bilirdi. Y\u0259qin etdi ki, bu onlar\u0131n i\u015fidir. \u018fvv\u0259ll\u0259r d\u0259 bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f bel\u0259 \u015fey olub amma, he\u00e7 vaxt minn\u0259tdarl\u0131q etm\u0259k a\u011fl\u0131na g\u0259lm\u0259yib.o el\u0259 bilirdi ki, bu bel\u0259 d\u0259 olmal\u0131d\u0131r. \u00d6z\u00fc yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131q etdiyi vaxt minn\u0259tdarl\u0131q g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259diyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, h\u0259tta ona minn\u0259tdarl\u0131q edil\u0259nd\u0259 narahat oldu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, he\u00e7 kim\u0259 minn\u0259tdarl\u0131q etmir v\u0259 minn\u0259tdarl\u0131q etm\u0259diyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bir n\u00f6v minn\u0259tdar oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc… Q\u0131z\u0131 il\u0259 \u015firniyyatlar\u0131 yeyir, Oyunlar oynay\u0131r, sevgini doya-doya payla\u015f\u0131r v\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131lar.<\/p>\n

Gec\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 yerin\u0259 qoyub yatd\u0131zd\u0131rd\u0131qdan sonra h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb \u00e7ardaqda oturdu. Hava ayd\u0131n v\u0259 t\u0259miz, gec\u0259 is\u0259 sakit v\u0259 g\u00fcnahs\u0131z idi.Bir siqaret yand\u0131r\u0131b yenid\u0259n yax\u0131nl\u0131qdak\u0131 qon\u015funun t\u0259klifini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc:<\/p>\n

\u201cM\u0259n burda, sizin qon\u015fulu\u011funuzda olan h\u0259y\u0259ti almaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m. Bu h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259 ist\u0259diyim h\u0259r \u015f\u0259rait var: torpa\u011f\u0131 \u00e7ox m\u0259hsuldard\u0131r, h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259ki r\u0259ngl\u0259r olduqca dol\u011fundur v\u0259 \u0259n \u0259sas\u0131, h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131m buran\u0131 b\u0259y\u0259nir. \u00c7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m q\u0259d\u0259r onun ist\u0259diyi h\u0259r \u015feyi edir\u0259m, onu xo\u015fb\u0259xt etm\u0259k ist\u0259yir\u0259m. Ki, pulla buna daha \u00e7ox nail ola bilir\u0259m. Kimis\u0259 xo\u015fb\u0259xt etm\u0259y\u0259 c\u0259hd edir v\u0259 buna nail olursansa, \u00f6z\u00fcn d\u0259 bir m\u0259nal\u0131 olaraq onun ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 xo\u015fb\u0259xtlikd\u0259n \u201cbir di\u015fl\u0259k\u201d alm\u0131\u015f olursan. Bel\u0259likl\u0259 o da xo\u015fb\u0259xt olur, m\u0259n d\u0259. N\u0259 is\u0259, \u00a0S\u0259n raz\u0131 olsayd\u0131n s\u0259nin d\u0259 evl\u0259 qar\u0131\u015f\u0131q h\u0259y\u0259tini \u00fc\u00e7 qat maya d\u0259y\u0259ri il\u0259 alard\u0131m. Amma s\u0259n raz\u0131la\u015fmad\u0131n, baba oca\u011f\u0131d\u0131r dedin. Bel\u0259 \u015feyl\u0259r\u0259 \u00e7ox \u00f6n\u0259m ver\u0259nl\u0259ri ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u0259 bilmir\u0259m. Bu d\u0259qiq\u0259 i\u015fin d\u0259 yoxdu, pulun da. Yen\u0259 d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn bil\u0259rs\u0259n… Qon\u015fulu\u011funuzdak\u0131 h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259 h\u0259r \u015fey qay\u0131das\u0131ndad\u0131r. Amma s\u0259nin bu \u201cheyb\u0259tli\u201d, h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 \u00e7ox k\u00f6lg\u0259 sal\u0131r.\u00a0 T\u0259s\u0259rr\u00fcfat sah\u0259si kimi istifad\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259yim\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 bu m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn , daha do\u011fru des\u0259k,burda i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259n t\u0259s\u0259rr\u00fcfat\u00e7\u0131lar \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn he\u00e7 d\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259k a\u00e7an olmayacaq. \u0130st\u0259diyin q\u0259d\u0259rd\u0259n \u00fc\u00e7 d\u0259f\u0259 \u00e7ox h\u00f6rm\u0259t d\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259m s\u0259n\u0259. Bu a\u011fac\u0131 k\u0259sm\u0259liy\u0259m. Ya s\u0259n raz\u0131l\u0131q ver\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n, ya da m\u0259n \u00f6z y\u00f6nt\u0259ml\u0259rimd\u0259n istifad\u0259 etm\u0259k m\u0259cburiyy\u0259tind\u0259 qalacam. Yax\u015f\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn, m\u0259n\u0259 iki g\u00fcn i\u00e7ind\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259r ver.\u201d<\/p>\n

S\u0259h\u0259r saat 08:00. Ad\u0259m sol qolunu ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131na qoyub tavana bax\u0131rd\u0131. Yuxudan tam doymu\u015fdu. Telefonuna g\u0259l\u0259n z\u0259ngd\u0259n diksindi. Teleofona bax\u0131b qula\u011f\u0131na yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131<\/p>\n

-Q\u0259rar\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259qiql\u0259\u015fdirdin?<\/p>\n

-B\u0259li, a\u011fac\u0131 k\u0259s\u0259c\u0259m.<\/p>\n

-M\u0259n bel\u0259 d\u0259 bilirdim. El\u0259 is\u0259, bir saata h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131mla \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 qay\u0131dacay\u0131q. Yol \u00fcst\u00fc s\u0259nin pulunu ver\u0259r\u0259m.<\/p>\n

-Yax\u015f\u0131,- deyib d\u0259rind\u0259n n\u0259f\u0259s ald\u0131,\u00a0 yenid\u0259n yerin\u0259 uzand\u0131. Q\u0131z\u0131na baxd\u0131. Burulmu\u015f bakenbordu, yatark\u0259n yar\u0131ya q\u0259d\u0259r a\u00e7\u0131q qalan g\u00f6z qapaqlar\u0131 ona Suadan\u0131 xat\u0131rlad\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Suada il\u0259 bir ne\u00e7\u0259 il bundan \u00f6nc\u0259 ikisinin d\u0259 birinci d\u0259f\u0259 getdiyi sahilyan\u0131 \u201cPUB\u201dlar\u0131n birind\u0259 tan\u0131\u015f olmu\u015fdular. Daha d\u0259qiq des\u0259k\u00a0 \u00f6nc\u0259d\u0259n d\u0259 bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 rastla\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar amma, he\u00e7 vaxt onun kimliyini v\u0259 \u0259n \u0259sas\u0131 da ad\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259qiq \u00f6yr\u0259n\u0259 bilm\u0259mi\u015fdi. \u00c7ox q\u0259rib\u0259 l\u0259q\u0259bl\u0259ri var idi. \u201cRey\u201d, \u201cAn\u201d, \u201cG\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u201d v\u0259 \u201cSuada\u201d \u0259n m\u0259\u015fhurlar\u0131 say\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. \u201cPUB\u201dda tan\u0131\u015f olduqlar\u0131 h\u0259m\u0259n g\u00fcn Ad\u0259m ona xitab\u0259n he\u00e7 bir ad,ya da l\u0259q\u0259bl\u0259 m\u00fcraci\u0259t etm\u0259mi\u015fdi. Tan\u0131\u015fl\u0131qlar\u0131ndan bir ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcn ke\u00e7dikd\u0259n sonra ona art\u0131q \u0259sl ad\u0131 il\u0259-Suada dey\u0259 xitab edirdi v\u0259 Suadan\u0131n \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fcn \u0259n qaynar d\u00f6vr\u00fcn\u0259 t\u0259sad\u00fcf etdiyini anlam\u0131\u015fd\u0131.Suadan\u0131n \u0259vv\u0259l\u0259r birlikd\u0259 oldu\u011fu c\u0259nab, onu da \u00f6z getdiyi a\u011f\u0131r yolun \u00e7irkab\u0131na bula\u015fd\u0131rm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Suadan\u0131 sevs\u0259 d\u0259, ona bunu s\u00fcbut ed\u0259 bilmir, n\u0259tic\u0259 etibar\u0131 il\u0259 Suada var-d\u00f6vl\u0259tin, bollu\u011fun i\u00e7ind\u0259 sevgi acl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131. Bel\u0259 ki,t\u0259k m\u00fc\u0259llim maa\u015f\u0131 il\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00fccl\u0259 doland\u0131ra bil\u0259n Ad\u0259m, Suadan\u0131n intihar etm\u0259k ist\u0259yini aradan qald\u0131rm\u0131\u015f, gicgah\u0131na s\u00f6yk\u0259n\u0259n t\u00fck\u0259nmi\u015flik silah\u0131n\u0131n t\u0259tiyini yerin\u0259 qaytara bilmi\u015f, yenid\u0259n ya\u015fama\u011f\u0131, h\u0259yat\u0131 ona sevdir\u0259 bilmi\u015fdi.G\u00f6zl\u0259ri Ad\u0259min g\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 zill\u0259n\u0259nv\u0259 d\u0259rinl\u0259r\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259n bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131n t\u0259sir g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc hiss etdikd\u0259n sonra, Ad\u0259m g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259z bir q\u00fcvv\u0259nin t\u0259siri alt\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc anlam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Ki, o he\u00e7 vaxt bu v\u0259ziyy\u0259t\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259mi\u015fdi, h\u0259r \u015feyi bir k\u0259nara qoyub a\u015fiq olmu\u015fdu.U\u015faqlar\u0131 d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259lm\u0259mi\u015fd\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l ya\u015fad\u0131qlar\u0131 d\u00f6vr, onlar\u0131n sevgil\u0259rini \u0259n i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 d\u00f6vr\u00fc say\u0131la bil\u0259rdi. Ad\u0259m,bu g\u00fcn\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r y\u0131\u011fd\u0131\u011f pullar\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131 x\u0259rcl\u0259dikd\u0259n v\u0259 r\u0259sm d\u0259rsl\u0259rini l\u0259ngitdiyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, ill\u0259r boyu qazand\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015fagirdl\u0259rini bir-bir itirdikd\u0259n sonra, qatar relsd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xma\u011fa ba\u015flar v\u0259 na\u011f\u0131llar al\u0259mi bird\u0259n-bir\u0259 h\u0259qiq\u0259tl\u0259rl\u0259 b\u0259z\u0259dilmi\u015f xarabal\u0131\u011fa \u00e7evril\u0259r. H\u0259qiqiq\u0259tl\u0259rl\u0259 b\u0259zdilmi\u015f xarabal\u0131\u011fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fckl\u0259ri vaxt Suada art\u0131q yox idi… T\u0259z\u0259 d\u00fcnyaya g\u00f6z a\u00e7m\u0131\u015f q\u0131zlar\u0131n\u0131 v\u0259 onu xarabal\u0131\u011fn i\u00e7ind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b, n\u0259vazi\u015fi il\u0259 yaralar\u0131na s\u0131\u011fal \u00e7\u0259k\u0259n, isti \u0259ll\u0259ri il\u0259 onu soyuqdan, \u00e7\u0259tinlikd\u0259n qoruyan, sevgisi il\u0259 \u00f6m\u00fcr boyu ona \u0259zab ver\u0259n yar\u0131m\u00e7\u0131qlar\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn ed\u0259n Ad\u0259mi t\u0259rk etdi…<\/p>\n

\u018flb\u0259tt\u0259 ki, Ad\u0259mSuadan\u0131 unutmaq ist\u0259yirdi v\u0259 bunu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259 zamana ehtiyac\u0131 oldu\u011funu bilirdi . O \u201czaman\u201d\u0131n d\u0259rman oldu\u011funu da bilirdi amma, bu d\u0259rman a\u011fr\u0131 k\u0259sici kimi m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n m\u00fcdd\u0259td\u0259n sonra \u00f6z t\u0259sirini itiri v\u0259 yenid\u0259n\u00a0 t\u0259l\u0259bat yarad\u0131rd\u0131, boynuna almasa da onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn dar\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Bir az uzand\u0131qdan sonra aya\u011fa qalx\u0131b qoz a\u011fac\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131na getdi. A\u011fac\u0131 bax\u0131b d\u00fcn\u0259nki yuxusunu xat\u0131rlad\u0131 v\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. Bu vaxt telefonu z\u0259ng \u00e7ald\u0131.<\/p>\n

-B\u0259li, e\u015fidir\u0259m sizi.<\/p>\n

-Biz sizin qap\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nday\u0131q. Bir z\u0259hm\u0259t bura g\u0259l\u0259rdiz, \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259sirik dey\u0259 gecikm\u0259k ist\u0259mirik,- deyirdi amma, s\u0259s tonu sanki \u201ctez bura g\u0259l vaxt\u0131m yoxdur\u201d kimi t\u0259sir ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131.Onu bel\u0259 inc\u0259, m\u0259d\u0259ni dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa m\u0259cbur edirdil\u0259r sanki.<\/p>\n

Ad\u0259m qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131b k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xanda, qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda g\u00f6d\u00fcy\u00fc, he\u00e7 vaxt \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc onun i\u00e7ind\u0259 t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr bel\u0259 etm\u0259diyi bir \u201cJeep\u201dl\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131la\u015fd\u0131. H\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda oturmu\u015f, eyn\u0259kl\u0259ri \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn t\u0259xmin\u0259n yar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 tutmu\u015f, \u015flyapal\u0131 bir qad\u0131n var idi ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259. B\u0259y, normal z\u0259rfd\u0259n iki d\u0259f\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck olan z\u0259rfi xan\u0131m\u0131ndan al\u0131b,ma\u015f\u0131ndan d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb Ad\u0259m\u0259 do\u011fru yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259, \u00fcmumi olaraq naraz\u0131, narahat g\u00f6rk\u0259m\u0259 sahib olan qad\u0131na t\u0259xmin\u0259n bir-iki saniy\u0259 civar\u0131nda n\u0259z\u0259r yetir\u0259 bilmi\u015fdi.B\u0259y, z\u0259rfi uzad\u0131b a\u011fac\u0131n sabah k\u0259sil\u0259c\u0259yin\u0259 dair m\u0259lumat verdi. Ad\u0259m onlar\u0131 yola sal\u0131b h\u0259y\u0259tl\u0259rin\u0259 ke\u00e7di v\u0259 qap\u0131n\u0131 q\u0131f\u0131llad\u0131. Z\u0259rfi stolun \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qoyub p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n q\u0131z\u0131na g\u00f6z g\u0259zdirdi.G\u00f6zl\u0259ri yar\u0131ya q\u0259d\u0259r a\u00e7\u0131q olan q\u0131z yat\u0131rd\u0131.Geri qay\u0131d\u0131b stolun \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259ki z\u0259rfi a\u00e7d\u0131 v\u0259 m\u00f6vcud m\u0259bl\u0259\u011fi he\u00e7 100 il i\u015fl\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259 qazana bim\u0259zdi. Yax\u0131ndak\u0131 d\u00fckandan t\u0259xmin\u0259n s\u0259kkiz y\u00fcz v\u0259r\u0259qli kitab qal\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda olan z\u0259rf\u0259 b\u00fck\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f pulun \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n bir v\u0259r\u0259q g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259r\u0259k, bir ayl\u0131q ev t\u0259dar\u00fck\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rd\u00fc, borclar\u0131n\u0131 ba\u011flad\u0131, siqaret ald\u0131, q\u0131z\u0131na d\u00fckanda g\u00f6r\u00fcb \u201cn\u0259 q\u0259\u015f\u0259ngdir(yem\u0259lidir,maraql\u0131d\u0131r,\u015firindir)\u201d dediyi h\u0259r \u015feyi ald\u0131. Pulla s\u0259ad\u0259t olmaz dey\u0259nl\u0259r d\u0259 var amma, Ad\u0259min \u00fcz\u00fc g\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fc v\u0259 bir v\u0259r\u0259q, ill\u0259rin Ad\u0259min \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 s\u00fcrt\u00fcy\u00fc \u0259zab\u0131 silib \u0259vv\u0259lki t\u0259rav\u0259tin\u0259 qovu\u015fdura bilmi\u015fdi. Q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 yuxudan bir an \u00f6nc\u0259 oyad\u0131b ona h\u0259diyy\u0259l\u0259rini t\u0259qdim etm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn s\u0259birsizl\u0259nirdi. D\u00f6zm\u0259yib onu yuxudan oyad\u0131r v\u0259 h\u0259diyy\u0259l\u0259rini q\u0131z\u0131na t\u0259qdim edir. Bel\u0259 olan halda zaman donur, ortada yaranan xo\u015fb\u0259xtliyi s\u00f6zl\u0259rl\u0259 ifad\u0259 etm\u0259k m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olmur…<\/p>\n

Ax\u015fama q\u0259d\u0259r evin i\u00e7ind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xmad\u0131lar. Oynad\u0131lar, yedil\u0259r, yoruldular, yen\u0259 oynad\u0131lar… Art\u0131q hava qaralm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, q\u0131z\u0131 h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259t\u0259z\u0259 al\u0131nm\u0131\u015f oyuncaqlar\u0131 il\u0259 oynay\u0131rd\u0131. Ad\u0259m oturdu\u011fu yerd\u0259n g\u00fccl\u0259 aya\u011fa qalxd\u0131 v\u0259 qam\u0259tini \u00e7\u0259tinlikl\u0259 d\u0259 olsa normal v\u0259ziyy\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259tir\u0259 bildi. H\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb bir siqaret yand\u0131d\u0131. Televiziyada x\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259r proqram\u0131 ba\u015flam\u015fd\u0131. Yuxar\u0131dan g\u00fccl\u0259 e\u015fidil\u0259n s\u0259sl\u0259rin aras\u0131ndan \u201cdemokratiya\u201d s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc e\u015fitdi Ad\u0259m. Onun fikrin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 demokratiya \u201cm\u00f6vcud hakimiyy\u0259td\u0259n yararlana bilm\u0259y\u0259nl\u0259r\u201dt\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n yarad\u0131lm\u0131\u015f m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n s\u0259rh\u0259d daxilind\u0259ki s\u0259rb\u0259stlik v\u0259 fikir azadl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan ibar\u0259tdir. \u0130mkanl\u0131 \u015f\u0259xsi demokratiya niy\u0259 maraqland\u0131rs\u0131n v\u0259 bel\u0259 olan halda onda niy\u0259 pul, ev , yax\u015f\u0131 maa\u015f ver\u0259n bir h\u00f6kum\u0259t\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 fikir azadl\u0131\u011f\u0131 t\u0259l\u0259bat\u0131 yarans\u0131n ki? Ona pul, ev, ma\u015f\u0131n, ail\u0259sini xo\u015fb\u0259xt etm\u0259k laz\u0131md\u0131. Ad\u0259m, bunlar\u0131 ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 halda dilini udma\u011fa haz\u0131r olan bir \u00e7ox insan\u0131n oldu\u011funu bilirdi. Ki, qon\u015fu h\u0259y\u0259ti almaq ist\u0259y\u0259n b\u0259yi d\u0259 bu siyah\u0131ya salmaq olard\u0131.<\/p>\n

Q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n s\u0259sin\u0259 sevinc bula\u015fan q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131,Ad\u0259min x\u0259yallar\u0131ndan ay\u0131lma\u011f\u0131na g\u0259tirib \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131. Evin i\u00e7ind\u0259 g\u00fcl\u0259-g\u00fcl\u0259,\u201c\u015firin, \u015firin\u201d dey\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. Ad\u0259m yuxar\u0131 qalx\u0131rd\u0131 v\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n bu q\u0259d\u0259r sevinm\u0259sin\u0259 s\u0259b\u0259b olan \u201c\u015firin\u201din n\u0259 oldu\u011funu m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259nl\u0259\u015fdirm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi. Pill\u0259k\u0259nl\u0259ri qalxaraq \u201cgedib g\u00fcn\u00fc sabah \u201c\u015firin\u201dd\u0259n \u00a0alaram ki daha \u00e7ox sevinsin g\u00f6z\u0259l q\u0131z\u0131m\u201d dey\u0259 fikirl\u0259\u015fir v\u0259 f\u0259rhl\u0259nirdi. Onu, \u0259cdadlar\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131ndan ke\u00e7diyi \u0259z\u0259m\u0259tli, heyb\u0259tli a\u011fac \u00fcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259 maraqland\u0131rm\u0131rd\u0131 v\u0259 bu sabah, onsuz da\u00a0 heyb\u0259tlinin taleyini m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259nl\u0259\u015fdirmi\u015fdil\u0259r. O yuxar\u0131 qalxd\u0131. Q\u0131z\u0131 televiyaya bax\u0131b g\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fc. Ad\u0259m televiziyaya baxd\u0131qda \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc itirdi. G\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259y\u0259n \u00fcz\u00fc bird\u0259n-bir\u0259 d\u0259 a\u011f\u0131r y\u00fck\u00fcn , \u0259zab\u0131n alt\u0131na d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n insan g\u00f6rk\u0259mi ald\u0131. Ad\u0259m televiziyan\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na ke\u00e7di. Ekranda g\u00f6st\u0259ril\u0259n \u015f\u0259xsiyy\u0259t v\u0259siq\u0259sin\u0259 diqq\u0259tl\u0259 bax\u0131r, aperatorun \u00e7\u0259kili\u015find\u0259n,kameran\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u0259n daha \u00e7oxunu g\u00f6rm\u0259k \u00fcmidi il\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011fa, sola \u0259yirdi. B\u00fct\u00fcn diqq\u0259ti ora y\u00f6n\u0259ldiyi an telefonuna z\u0259ng g\u0259ldi. Tez baxd\u0131, n\u00f6mr\u0259ni tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259 a\u00e7mad\u0131 v\u0259 telefonu bir k\u0259nara atd\u0131. Yaln\u0131z bu z\u0259ng bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 t\u0259krarland\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn a\u00e7maq m\u0259cburiyy\u0259tind\u0259 qald\u0131. Televiziyaya baxa baxa :<\/p>\n

-Alo, e\u015fidir\u0259m,-dedi.<\/p>\n

-Ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n, bu n\u00f6mr\u0259d\u0259n sonuncu d\u0259f\u0259 siz\u0259 z\u0259ng g\u0259ldiyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn m\u0259n siz\u0259 z\u0259ng vurma\u011f\u0131n daha uy\u011fun oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131z sa\u011f olsun, Suada xan\u0131myol q\u0259zas\u0131 n\u0259tic\u0259sind\u0259 h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 itirib. B\u0259yin c\u0259s\u0259dini g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcbl\u0259r. X\u0259b\u0259riniz olsun, xan\u0131m\u0131n yanm\u0131\u015f c\u0259s\u0259di rayon x\u0259st\u0259xanas\u0131ndad\u0131r . Bir daha ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131z sa\u011f olsun.<\/p>\n

Z\u0259ng vuran \u015f\u0259xs telefonu s\u00f6nd\u00fcrd\u00fc. Ad\u0259m bir xeyli yerind\u0259 t\u0259rp\u0259nm\u0259z qald\u0131. Havadak\u0131 oksigen onun beynin\u0259 \u00e7atm\u0131rd\u0131, ciy\u0259rl\u0259ri yumulmu\u015f v\u0259 a\u011fz\u0131 aral\u0131 qalm\u0131\u015f, g\u00f6zl\u0259ri qan q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131s\u0131, \u0259ll\u0259ri meyit kimi bumbuz, beli b\u00fck\u00fck idi. Q\u0131z\u0131 onu s\u0259sl\u0259yib oynma\u011fa d\u0259v\u0259t edir amma, g\u00f6zl\u0259rini oyuncaqlar\u0131ndan ay\u0131rm\u0131rd\u0131, ard\u0131nca yar\u0131m\u00e7\u0131q qalan mahn\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 oxuyurdu. Ad\u0259m q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fitmirdi. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00fccl\u0259 h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 \u00e7atd\u0131rd\u0131, bu g\u00fcn yediyi b\u00fct\u00fcn \u015firniyyatlar\u0131 qaytard\u0131.<\/p>\n

Bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t oturduqdan sonra \u0259l-\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc yuyub \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259ldi, ev\u0259 qalx\u0131b q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 yat\u0131zd\u0131rd\u0131 v\u0259 \u00e7arda\u011fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb bir siqaret yand\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259r \u015fey ayd\u0131nla\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. S\u0259h\u0259r \u201cjeep\u201dd\u0259 oturan qad\u0131n onun ke\u00e7mi\u015f h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131 idi. Simas\u0131n\u0131 Suadan\u0131n simas\u0131 il\u0259 yan-yana g\u0259tir\u0259nd\u0259, do\u011frudan da buna \u0259min olurdu.\u00a0 O Suada ki, Ad\u0259m bu g\u00fcn d\u0259 onu sevirdi. Ad\u0259mi Suadan\u0131n etdiyi x\u0259yan\u0259t \u00fcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259 maraqland\u0131rm\u0131rd\u0131. Art\u0131q onlar\u0131n ikisi d\u0259 \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc v\u0259 bunun he\u00e7 bir m\u0259nas\u0131 yox idi.Ad\u0259m bunlar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259nd\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc saxlaya bilmir, bo\u011faz\u0131nda ili\u015fib qalan bir s\u0131xma k\u00fctl\u0259nin onu incitm\u0259si v\u0259 qaynar g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131 onun hal\u0131n\u0131 pisl\u0259\u015fdiridi. Yol q\u0259zas\u0131n\u0131 x\u0259b\u0259r ver\u0259n \u015f\u0259xsin dediyi \u201cbu n\u00f6mr\u0259d\u0259n sonuncu d\u0259f\u0259 siz\u0259\u00a0 z\u0259ng g\u0259ldiyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn m\u0259n siz\u0259 z\u0259ng etdim\u201d c\u00fcml\u0259sini v\u0259 d\u00fcn\u0259n s\u0259h\u0259r tezd\u0259n ona g\u0259l\u0259n z\u0259ngi xat\u0131rlad\u0131. D\u0259rhal n\u00f6mr\u0259l\u0259ri uzla\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131. Bu Suadan\u0131n n\u00f6mr\u0259si idi… Ad\u0259m Suadan\u0131n ona qar\u015f\u0131 bir add\u0131m atd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 v\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn bundan x\u0259b\u0259rsiz oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259nd\u0259, g\u00fcnahkar kimi hiss edir, g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131na hakim ola bilmirdi. O h\u00f6nk\u00fcrm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131 v\u0259 tez d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259ldi. Suada niy\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015fdi v\u0259 g\u0259libs\u0259 d\u0259 niy\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259r verm\u0259mi\u015fdi…Bir i\u015far\u0259, m\u0259qs\u0259d, s\u0259b\u0259b axtar\u0131rd\u0131. \u018flini cibin\u0259 sal\u0131b yenid\u0259n siqaretini \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131. Koropka bo\u015f idi.H\u0259min an Ad\u0259min \u00fcz ifad\u0259si, uzun ill\u0259r \u00fcz\u0259rund\u0259 m\u00fczakir\u0259 ged\u0259n problem\u0259 h\u0259ll tapan insan\u0131n \u00fcz ifad\u0259si il\u0259 eyni idi. T\u0259l\u0259sik ev\u0259 qalx\u0131b i\u00e7i pulla dolu olan z\u0259rfi \u0259lin\u0259 ald\u0131. S\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259n \u0259zizl\u0259diyi z\u0259rfi c\u0131raraq B\u0259yin,z\u0259rfi Suadadan ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131\u00a0 xat\u0131rlay\u0131rd\u0131. Pullar\u0131 masan\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 bo\u015faltd\u0131. Budur… Axtard\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 tapd\u0131. Pullar\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259b\u00fck\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f yaz\u0131l\u0131 ka\u011f\u0131z v\u0259 Suadan\u0131n h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 vurdu\u011fu \u0259tir var idi. Oxuma\u011fa ba\u015flamam\u0131\u015fdan qabaq \u00fcr\u0259kd\u0259n a\u011flad\u0131.Ka\u011f\u0131z par\u00e7as\u0131n\u0131 qucaqlay\u0131b h\u00f6nk\u00fcr\u00fcr, ondan Suadan\u0131n \u0259trini al\u0131r, birg\u0259 ke\u00e7irdiyi g\u00fcnl\u0259r g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndan q\u0131sa olaraq ke\u00e7irdi. G\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131 il\u0259 islanm\u0131\u015f ka\u011f\u0131z par\u00e7as\u0131n\u0131 oxumaq ist\u0259mirdi amma, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc buna borclu bilib\u00a0 titr\u0259y\u0259n \u0259ll\u0259ri il\u0259 b\u00fck\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f v\u0259r\u0259ql\u0259ri a\u00e7d\u0131:<\/p>\n

\u201c\u00c7ox uzun-uzad\u0131 yazmayacam, Ad\u0259m. \u0130ndi m\u0259n\u0259 nifr\u0259t ed\u0259 bil\u0259rs\u0259n v\u0259 buna sonuna q\u0259d\u0259r haqq\u0131n \u00e7at\u0131r. \u018fmin\u0259m ki, bu m\u00f6vzuda s\u0259ni haql\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259n t\u0259k m\u0259n deyil\u0259m…H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc s\u0259n\u0259 borclu hiss etmi\u015f\u0259m, Ad\u0259m. O g\u00fcn borcumu \u00f6d\u0259m\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn uzun yola \u00e7\u0131xmaq q\u0259rar\u0131na g\u0259ldim m\u0259n. \u018flini iflic ed\u0259n l\u0259n\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015f o yol q\u0259zas\u0131, m\u0259ni, h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131 \u00e7irkli i\u015fl\u0259ri il\u0259 qazand\u0131\u011f\u0131 pullara b\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fcb, qay\u011f\u0131dan, sevgid\u0259n m\u0259hrum ed\u0259n \u0259claf\u0131ni\u015fi oldu\u011funu anlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m g\u00fcn s\u0259nd\u0259n uzaqla\u015fd\u0131m. Bir-iki b\u0259han\u0259 uydurub, \u0259lind\u0259n qa\u00e7\u0131b s\u0259n\u0259 s\u0131\u011f\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u0259calaf\u0131n yenid\u0259n yan\u0131na geri d\u00f6nd\u00fcm… Sabah bu z\u0259rfi s\u0259n\u0259 verdikd\u0259n sonra ,\u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 yola d\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259yik. B\u0259xtim g\u0259tirs\u0259 v\u0259 t\u0259bii ki, s\u0259n m\u0259ni yenid\u0259n q\u0259bul ets\u0259n, s\u0259ninl\u0259, q\u0131z\u0131mla yenid\u0259n bir \u00f6m\u00fcr xo\u015fb\u0259xt ya\u015faya bil\u0259rik\u201d.<\/p>\n

Ad\u0259m qeyri ixtiyari \u201cm\u0259n \u0259lb\u0259td\u0259 raz\u0131 olacaqd\u0131m m\u0259nim \u0259zizim-Suadam\u201d deyib yenid\u0259n isti g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131na q\u0259rq oldu. Ka\u011f\u0131z\u0131 b\u00fck\u00fc\u0259r\u0259k qoxusunu ciy\u0259rl\u0259rin\u0259 doldurduqdan sonra yenid\u0259n oxumaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn a\u00e7d\u0131. Ad\u0259m yar\u0131m\u00e7\u0131q qald\u0131\u011f\u0131 yeri axtar\u0131b tap\u0131rd\u0131 ki, qap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131lma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131. Ad\u0259m yava\u015f-yava\u015fba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qald\u0131r\u0131b qap\u0131ya bax\u0131rd\u0131. Art\u0131q he\u00e7 bir \u015feyin \u00f6n\u0259mi yox idi. Kim g\u0259lirs\u0259 g\u0259lsin, \u00a0onu maraqland\u0131rm\u0131rd\u0131… \u018flind\u0259ki \u015flyapas\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n \u00f6nc\u0259 i\u00e7\u0259ri gir\u0259n qad\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 Ad\u0259m, he\u00e7 vaxt ke\u00e7irtm\u0259diyi q\u0259rib\u0259 bir hissi ya\u015fad\u0131. Qad\u0131n i\u00e7\u0259ri girdi. Ard\u0131nca qap\u0131n\u0131 astaca \u00f6rt\u00fc. Yava\u015f-yava\u015f geriy\u0259, Ad\u0259m\u0259 do\u011fru d\u00f6nm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. \u00dcz\u00fcn\u00fcn yar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 tutan eyn\u0259yini \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131. G\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259di v\u0259 p\u0131\u00e7\u0131ldad\u0131:<\/p>\n

-Suada \u00f6ld\u00fc, Ad\u0259m. Bundan sonra Rey…<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

M\u0259ktubun oxunmam\u0131\u015f son qismi…<\/p>\n

\u201c…Amma m\u0259n h\u0259r \u015feyi \u015fansa, b\u0259xt\u0259 buraxmaqdan qorxdum, Ad\u0259m. S\u0259ni, q\u0131z\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 bird\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u0259m\u0259kd\u0259n qorxdum. S\u0259nin kimi m\u0259n d\u0259 verdiyim q\u0259rar\u0131n ba\u015fqalar\u0131na verdiyi xeyird\u0259n \u00e7ox, ziyan\u0131n\u0131n d\u0259ym\u0259sind\u0259n qorxdum. S\u0259ni incitm\u0259diyim\u0259 \u0259min olduqdan sonra add\u0131m atmaq q\u0259rar\u0131na g\u0259ldim\u201d.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Onlar birg\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131qlar\u0131 m\u00fcdd\u0259td\u0259 xo\u015fb\u0259xt olacaqlar\u0131na inand\u0131lar. \u0130nam \u00f6n\u0259mlidir v\u0259 inand\u0131qlar\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 ham\u0131n\u0131n arzulad\u0131\u011f\u0131, he\u00e7 kimin ist\u0259diyi kimi sahib ola bilm\u0259diyi bir \u015fey\u0259- xo\u015fb\u0259xtliy\u0259 sahib oldular.\u00a0 \u018fsas da Rey… Sevgi azl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan \u0259ziyy\u0259t \u00e7\u0259k\u0259n qad\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259 xo\u015fb\u0259xtlik, i\u00e7ind\u0259 h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131 Ad\u0259m v\u0259 onlar\u0131n q\u0131z\u0131 olanbir d\u00fcnyadanibar\u0259t idi. Ad\u0259m h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 onun bu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259sini d\u0259st\u0259kl\u0259yirdi. \u00a0V\u0259 eyni zamanda, bu g\u00fcn d\u0259 onu narahat ed\u0259n m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 is\u0259, Reyin onun i\u00e7ind\u0259 oldu\u011fu d\u00fcnyada ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 xo\u015fb\u0259xtliyini, pis yuxudan sonrak\u0131 \u201c\u015f\u00fckr\u0259\u201db\u0259nz\u0259tm\u0259si idi. \u018fg\u0259r yuxuda dar a\u011fac\u0131ndan as\u0131lan, \u00f6l\u00fcm\u0259 m\u0259hkum edilmi\u015f \u015f\u0259xs, qan-t\u0259r i\u00e7ind\u0259 ay\u0131l\u0131b \u00f6m\u00fcr\u00fcl\u00fck h\u0259ps c\u0259zas\u0131na m\u0259hkum oldu\u011fununu xat\u0131rlay\u0131rsa, onun\u00a0 ke\u00e7irdiyi hiss xo\u015fb\u0259xtlik deyil. Rey is\u0259 oldu\u011fu v\u0259ziyy\u0259tin \u0259n optimal v\u0259ziyy\u0259t oldu\u011funa inan\u0131rd\u0131 v\u0259 m\u0259hz buna g\u00f6r\u0259 xo\u015fb\u0259xt idi. Bunu n\u0259z\u0259r\u0259 alaraq Ad\u0259m Rey\u0259, he\u00e7 bir zaman bu m\u00f6vzuda he\u00e7 bir s\u00f6z dem\u0259di v\u0259 onun sevgisini qazand\u0131\u011f\u0131 v\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc bu sevgiy\u0259 layiq bildiyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, \u00f6m\u00fcr boyu Tanr\u0131ya \u015f\u00fckr etdi.<\/p>\n

Suadan\u0131n nec\u0259 sa\u011f qala bildiyini maraqlanmaq, uzun zaman Ad\u0259min a\u011fl\u0131na g\u0259lm\u0259di. Sonradan \u00f6yr\u0259di ki, yol q\u0259zas\u0131nda h\u0259lak olanlar, Suadan\u0131n h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 zidan ed\u0259n \u201cinsan\u201dv\u0259 Ad\u0259min sa\u011f qolunu iflic ed\u0259n q\u0259zan\u0131 t\u00f6r\u0259d\u0259n qad\u0131n( \u201cinsan\u201d\u0131n sahib oldu\u011fu fahi\u015fl\u0259rd\u0259n biri) olub.Ma\u015f\u0131n nec\u0259 yan\u0131bsa, he\u00e7 bir d\u0259lil qalmay\u0131b.Yanmayan bir materiala b\u00fckd\u00fcy\u00fc \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ma\u015f\u0131ndan t\u0259k Reyin telefonu v\u0259 \u015f\u0259xsiyy\u0259t v\u0259siq\u0259si \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b. Bu palan\u0131 haz\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn Ad\u0259m Reyd\u0259n bir az diksinmi\u015fdi. N\u0259tic\u0259 etibar\u0131 il\u0259 Reyin yenid\u0259n Ad\u0259m\u0259, q\u0131z\u0131na qovu\u015fmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn atd\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir add\u0131m oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259nd\u0259 is\u0259, ona daha \u00e7ox ba\u011flanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131…<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n Ad\u0259m\u0259 olan sevgisi \u00e7ox tez bir zamanda anas\u0131na olan sevgi il\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259rl\u0259\u015fdi.\u00a0 Onlar\u0131n h\u0259yat\u0131nda d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259n bir \u00e7ox m\u0259qamlar oldu. Amma d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259y\u0259nl\u0259r d\u0259 oldu t\u0259bii ki. V\u0259 d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259y\u0259nl\u0259rin i\u00e7ind\u0259, Suadaya \u0259traf\u0131n\u0131n yen\u0259d\u0259 l\u0259qbi il\u0259 m\u00fcracit etm\u0259si, \u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259 \u00e7arpanlardan biri idi. Onlar\u0131n q\u0131zlar\u0131 da Rey\u0259 l\u0259q\u0259bi il\u0259 m\u00fcraci\u0259t edirdi. Q\u0131z\u0131 ona bu g\u00fcn d\u0259 \u201c\u015eirin\u201ddeyirdi.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Bu hekay\u0259, Ad\u0259min ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131n qaynar olan d\u00f6vr\u00fcnd\u0259n bir hiss\u0259 idi.H\u0259r bir insan\u0131n h\u0259yat\u0131nda m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n d\u00f6vrl\u0259r vard\u0131r ki, o d\u00f6vrl\u0259r n\u0259yins\u0259 \u00e7oxlu\u011fu v\u0259 ya daha \u00e7ox ratla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z, n\u0259yins\u0259 yoxlu\u011fundan do\u011fan \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmazl\u0131qlarla dolu olur. T\u0259bii ki,o \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmazl\u0131qlar\u0131 ciddiy\u0259 almayan v\u0259 yaxud g\u00f6rm\u0259y\u0259nl\u0259rvard\u0131r. Onlar uzaqdan vecsiz, d\u0259rdsiz, rahat insanlar kimi g\u00f6rs\u0259n\u0259 bil\u0259r. Amma, n\u0259 yaz\u0131q ki,h\u0259yatlar\u0131 daim \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmazl\u0131qlarla bol olan insanlar, m\u0259hz el\u0259 o insanlard\u0131r. Nec\u0259 ki, he\u00e7 kim g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fcy\u00fc q\u0259d\u0259r yax\u015f\u0131, b\u0259hs etdiyi q\u0259d\u0259r pis deyil, el\u0259c\u0259 onlar da olduqlar\u0131 q\u0259d\u0259r rahat deyill\u0259r. Ad\u0259min ail\u0259si uzaqdan \u00e7ox xo\u015fb\u0259xt g\u00f6rs\u0259nir. B\u0259lk\u0259 onlar da… Amma yox. Hiss olunmayacaq d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259d\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259n \u015feyl\u0259r,\u00e7ox vaxt iri h\u0259cmli olur. Nec\u0259 ki, he\u00e7 kim f\u0259rqin\u0259 varmasa da \u201cheyb\u0259tli\u201d b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u0259y\u0259 davam edirdi, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 onlar\u0131n sevgisi, xo\u015fb\u0259xtliyi d\u0259 bu g\u00fcn b\u00f6y\u00fcrd\u00fc…<\/p>\n

Yaz\u0131ya 973 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kultur.az Q\u0259dim M\u0259mm\u0259dlinin\u00a0“Xo\u015fb\u0259xtlik f\u0259ndi” hekay\u0259sini t\u0259qdim edir:   \u201cK\u00f6lg\u0259sind\u0259 oturdu\u011fumuz bu heyb\u0259tli qoz a\u011fac\u0131na iyirmi be\u015f il bundan \u00f6nc\u0259 iki barmaq d\u0259rinliyind\u0259 torpa\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7in\u0259 qoydu\u011fum toxumun \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 sad\u0259c\u0259 bir st\u0259kan su t\u00f6km\u0259kl\u0259 h\u0259yat vermi\u015f\u0259m\u201d \u2013deyirdi babam. M\u0259n\u0259 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u00fc g\u0259lirdi a\u011fac\u0131n m\u0259nim ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m d\u00f6vrl\u0259rd\u0259 he\u00e7 uzanmamas\u0131 amma, \u00a0indi \u0259minlikl\u0259 dey\u0259 bil\u0259r\u0259m ki, b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fcb, hiss etm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. O\u011flum […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1,16],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11149"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11149"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11149\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11154,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11149\/revisions\/11154"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11149"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11149"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11149"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}