{"id":11374,"date":"2018-09-04T19:12:10","date_gmt":"2018-09-04T14:12:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=11374"},"modified":"2018-09-04T19:12:10","modified_gmt":"2018-09-04T14:12:10","slug":"m%c9%99mm%c9%99d-ismayil-anama-agi-poema","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=11374","title":{"rendered":"M\u0259mm\u0259d \u0130smay\u0131l – Anama a\u011f\u0131… (poema)"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Ha\u00e7ansa “Birc\u0259 ana-v\u0259t\u0259ndi, yerd\u0259 qalan\u0131 q\u00fcrb\u0259t” misralar\u0131n\u0131 yazm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Qocal\u0131qdand\u0131r, q\u00fcrb\u0259td\u0259ndir, bilmir\u0259m, anam tez-tez yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr v\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fc anda da ba\u015flay\u0131ram balaca u\u015faq kimi h\u00f6nk\u00fcr-h\u00f6nk\u00fcr a\u011flama\u011fa. O talesiz qad\u0131n bu d\u00fcnyaya niy\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015fdi, g\u0259li\u015finin m\u0259qs\u0259di n\u0259ydi, n\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fc, n\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131? \u00d6mr\u00fcn 22 ya\u015f\u0131nda dul qalan, sa\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n birini a\u011f, birini qara h\u00f6r\u00fcb min z\u00fclm, zill\u0259tl\u0259 t\u0259k o\u011flunu b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u0259n, sonunda da yeddi arzusundan birin\u0259 \u00e7atmadan d\u00fcnyadan k\u00f6\u00e7\u0259n bir ana d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn. Bulaqlar ba\u015f\u0131nda, \u00e7aylar \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 g\u00fcn\u0259\u015fli g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259, ayqaranl\u0131q gec\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 t\u0259k o\u011flu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn g\u00f6yl\u0259r\u0259 \u0259l a\u00e7\u0131b dualar ed\u0259n, yerd\u0259 iki qabarl\u0131 \u0259lind\u0259n, g\u00f6yd\u0259 Allah\u0131ndan ba\u015fqa kims\u0259si olmayan bu anan\u0131n, bu \u00e7il\u0259l\u0259rin \u0259v\u0259zind\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fc n\u0259 oldu?<\/p>\n

A\u011f g\u00fcn g\u00f6rm\u0259diyind\u0259n d\u0259 ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u0259llisind\u0259 b\u0259d\u0259nind\u0259 a\u011fr\u0131mayan yeri qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 Bak\u0131da h\u0259kiml\u0259r\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259k ist\u0259mi\u015fdim, amma h\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259sind\u0259 m\u00fcxt\u0259lif b\u0259han\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 getm\u0259k ist\u0259m\u0259mi\u015fdi. H\u0259tta teleqram vurdurub t\u0259cili k\u0259nd\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259yimi ist\u0259diyi vaxtlar da olmu\u015fdu. \u0130\u015fim ba\u015f\u0131mdan a\u015fsa da, h\u0259r \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131\u015f\u0131na qo\u015fa-qo\u015fa getmi\u015fdim. Amma g\u0259ldiyimi g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 \u0259vv\u0259lki kimi aya\u011fa qalxm\u0131\u015f, g\u00f6zayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259n qonum-qon\u015fulara: – Ay q\u0131z, vallah, can\u0131m el\u0259 bil bu g\u0259d\u0259y\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131, a\u011fr\u0131m-ac\u0131m o g\u0259l\u0259n kimi yox olub gedir, – deyirdi. Bir-iki g\u00fcn ke\u00e7dikd\u0259n sonra “haz\u0131rla\u015f, ged\u0259k” dey\u0259nd\u0259: – Ay anan sana qurban olsun; i\u015fim-g\u00fcc\u00fcm t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcb qal\u0131b, m\u0259n gets\u0259m, b\u0259 onlar\u0131 kim g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259k, bu q\u0131\u015f\u0131n q\u0131\u015f vaxt\u0131 hara gedim, qoy yaz g\u0259lib istil\u0259r d\u00fc\u015fs\u00fcn, onda ged\u0259rik, – deyib araya s\u00f6z salard\u0131. O zamanlar g\u0259li\u015fim\u0259 evin da\u015f\u0131-divar\u0131 da g\u00fcl\u0259r, qazan\u0131 ocaqda, \u00e7ay\u0131 d\u0259md\u0259 olard\u0131. Amma bu d\u0259f\u0259 – “g\u0259lsin m\u0259ni Bak\u0131ya apars\u0131n” dey\u0259 dalbadal ismar\u0131\u015flar g\u00f6nd\u0259rirdi. M\u0259n yolu yomrulmu\u015f is\u0259 g\u00fcn\u00fc-g\u00fcn\u0259 satd\u0131qca, anamdan g\u0259l\u0259n t\u0259kidli x\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259r d\u0259 davam edirdi, ax\u0131rda vaxt tap\u0131b ged\u0259nd\u0259 is\u0259 bel\u0259 bir \u00fcmidim olurdu ki, anam yen\u0259 m\u0259ni g\u00f6r\u0259n kimi sa\u011fal\u0131b aya\u011fa qalxacaq. Amma yox, bu d\u0259f\u0259 bel\u0259 olmayacaqd\u0131.<\/p>\n

V\u0259 biz ana-bala ilk d\u0259f\u0259 idi ki, birlikd\u0259 uzaq s\u0259f\u0259r\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131q. \u018fvv\u0259ll\u0259r bel\u0259 s\u0259f\u0259rl\u0259ri n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r arzulam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Onda h\u0259l\u0259 imkanlar\u0131mla arzular\u0131m yeni-yeni \u00f6rt\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131… Hardan bil\u0259ydim ki, bu s\u0259f\u0259r ilk oldu\u011fu kimi, h\u0259m d\u0259 birlikd\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z son s\u0259f\u0259r olacaqd\u0131, s\u0259n sayd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 say…<\/p>\n

Anam\u0131 Respublika x\u0259st\u0259xanas\u0131n\u0131n soyuq divarlar\u0131 aras\u0131nda tanr\u0131tan\u0131maz h\u0259kim v\u0259 tibb bac\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcmidin\u0259 buraxacaqd\u0131m. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259l paltarlar\u0131n\u0131 tik\u0259n, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u0259n l\u0259ziz x\u00f6r\u0259kl\u0259rini bi\u015fir\u0259n, toy-d\u00fcy\u00fcnl\u0259rin \u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259l r\u0259qs ed\u0259ni, yas yerl\u0259rinin a\u011f\u0131lar\u0131yla da\u015f\u0131 bel\u0259 a\u011fladan anam\u0131n s\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259n-ax\u015fama yol \u00e7\u0259k\u0259n g\u00f6zl\u0259ri x\u0259st\u0259xana qap\u0131lar\u0131nda qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u00d6mr\u00fcn\u00fc da\u011fda-da\u015fda, ba\u011fda-ba\u011f\u00e7ada ke\u00e7ir\u0259n anam x\u0259st\u0259xana divarlar\u0131na s\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fm\u0131rd\u0131. Bu x\u0259st\u0259xana, d\u0259rman qoxuyan otaqlardan qu\u015f olub, qoyub g\u0259ldiyi k\u0259nd\u0259-k\u0259s\u0259y\u0259, in\u0259yinin, it-pi\u015fiyinin, toyuq-c\u00fcc\u0259sinin yan\u0131na qay\u0131tmaq ist\u0259yirdi. \u0130lk d\u0259f\u0259 idi ki, g\u0259l\u0259n yaz\u0131 bulaq ba\u015f\u0131nda, \u00e7ay k\u0259nar\u0131nda \u00e7\u0259m\u0259n g\u00fczar\u0131nda yox, \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259, x\u0259st\u0259xana divarlar\u0131 aras\u0131nda qar\u015f\u0131lay\u0131rd\u0131. Burdan – be\u015finci m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259d\u0259n boz ay\u0131n bozbulan\u0131q yaz s\u0259mas\u0131ndan ba\u015fqa g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n bir \u015fey yoxdu. B\u00fcsb\u00fct\u00fcn i\u015ftahdan k\u0259silmi\u015fdi. Aradabir qad\u0131n i\u015f yolda\u015flar\u0131m\u0131n g\u0259tirdiyi ev yem\u0259kl\u0259rind\u0259n ba\u015fqa x\u0259st\u0259xana bi\u015fmi\u015fl\u0259rin\u0259 dilini d\u0259 vurmurdu. Arada meylinin \u00e7\u0259kdiyi istilik pomidoru idi ki, onun da h\u0259r yerind\u0259n a\u011fr\u0131 f\u0131\u015fq\u0131ran v\u00fccuduna ziyandan ba\u015fqa xeyri yoxdu. T\u0259hlill\u0259r g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259c\u0259kdi ki, k\u0259nd imkans\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan b\u00f6yr\u0259kl\u0259rinin ikisi d\u0259 s\u0131radan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b. Ayqaranl\u0131q gec\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 \u0259t\u0259yini d\u0259st\u0259l\u0259yib dizin\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r soyuq sular\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 yaln\u0131z \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn deyil, qon\u015fu qad\u0131nlar\u0131n da qar\u011f\u0131dal\u0131l\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 sulayan v\u0259 22 ya\u015f\u0131ndan m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t v\u0259rdi\u015fl\u0259rini v\u00fccudunun d\u0259rinlikl\u0259rin\u0259 g\u00f6m\u00fcb namus oca\u011f\u0131na \u00e7evril\u0259n bir qad\u0131n\u0131n b\u00f6yr\u0259kl\u0259ri, \u0259lb\u0259tt\u0259, \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcm\u0259li idi.<\/p>\n

\u00c7\u0131x\u0131lmazl\u0131q i\u00e7ind\u0259 vurnuxurdum. “Atas\u0131 olmayanlar\u0131n atas\u0131 Allahd\u0131” – deyirl\u0259r. H\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcb-itm\u0259z Respublika x\u0259st\u0259xanas\u0131n\u0131n binas\u0131na yax\u0131nla\u015fanda \u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc bozbulan\u0131q aprel g\u00f6yl\u0259rin\u0259 tutub ona – Allaha yalvar\u0131r, bu d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259k etm\u0259sini, anama \u015f\u0259fa verm\u0259sini ist\u0259yirdim.<\/p>\n

\u0130ndi vaxt-bivaxt g\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131 ax\u0131tma\u011f\u0131m\u0131n iki\u00a0 \u0259sas s\u0259b\u0259binin oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u0259m: birincisi, x\u0259st\u0259xanaya ilk g\u0259ldiyind\u0259 qon\u015fu palatada yatan hans\u0131 qad\u0131nsa, – bu h\u0259kiml\u0259rd\u0259n bir \u015fey \u00e7\u0131xan deyil, be\u015f-on manat ver, s\u0259n\u0259 dua yazd\u0131r\u0131m, – demi\u015fdi. M\u0259n ba\u015fs\u0131z da h\u0259kiml\u0259r\u0259 inans\u0131n dey\u0259, o be\u015f-on manat\u0131 anama verm\u0259mi\u015fdim: “Ana, n\u0259 bax\u0131rsan o qad\u0131n\u0131n s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259, s\u0259n\u0259 x\u0259st\u0259xanan\u0131n \u0259n yax\u015f\u0131 h\u0259kiml\u0259ri bax\u0131r”, – demi\u015fdim. (\u018fslind\u0259, dedikl\u0259rim do\u011fru idi, onda m\u0259n Az\u0259rbaycan televiziyas\u0131n\u0131n “Elm v\u0259 h\u0259yat” \u015f\u00f6b\u0259sind\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yirdim v\u0259 o zamanlar \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00fcnl\u00fc “Sa\u011flaml\u0131q” proqram\u0131 da bizim \u015f\u00f6b\u0259d\u0259 haz\u0131rlan\u0131rd\u0131, anam\u0131 m\u00fcalic\u0259 ed\u0259nl\u0259rin ham\u0131s\u0131 tan\u0131\u015fd\u0131) s\u0259n onlara inan, fal\u00e7\u0131ya, duaya yox. \u0130kincisi is\u0259 anam\u0131 x\u0259st\u0259xana k\u00fcnc\u00fcnd\u0259 t\u0259k-t\u0259nha qoyub 2 g\u00fcn Zu\u011fulbaya g\u0259nc \u015fairl\u0259rin respublika m\u00fc\u015favir\u0259sin\u0259 getmi\u015fdim. Guya o m\u00fc\u015favir\u0259y\u0259 getm\u0259s\u0259ydim, d\u00fcnya da\u011f\u0131lard\u0131. Qay\u0131danda anam\u0131 pis v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259kdim. Palata yolda\u015f\u0131 rus qad\u0131n \u00f6z dilind\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 professorlar\u0131n anam\u0131n v\u0259ziyy\u0259tinin kritik oldu\u011funu \u00e7atd\u0131racaqd\u0131: – Vicdan\u0131n olsun, – deyirdi rus qad\u0131n, – he\u00e7 olmasa, yalandan da olsa, anana \u00fcmid ver, anan – “\u00f6ls\u0259m d\u0259 d\u0259rdim olmazd\u0131, bils\u0259m, o\u011flum kiminl\u0259 evl\u0259n\u0259c\u0259k, g\u0259linim kim olacaq” – deyir.<\/p>\n

Yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc ki, 3-4 g\u00fcn \u0259vv\u0259l anam\u0131n yan\u0131na tez-tez g\u0259l\u0259n i\u015f yolda\u015f\u0131m q\u0131z\u0131 soru\u015fmu\u015fdu, m\u0259n d\u0259: – Ana, s\u0259nin ki, sa\u00e7\u0131 k\u0259sik \u015f\u0259h\u0259r q\u0131zlar\u0131ndan xo\u015fun g\u0259lmir, – d\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 –\u00a0 sa\u00e7\u0131 k\u0259sik olanda nolar, el\u0259 dem\u0259 ey, s\u00fcd \u0259mmi\u015fin birin\u0259 b\u0259nz\u0259yir, cavab\u0131n\u0131 vermi\u015fdi. \u0130ndi f\u0259rq edirdim ki, anam can\u0131nda olan\u0131 professorlardan da yax\u015f\u0131 bilir, yoxsa i\u015f yolda\u015f\u0131m q\u0131z haqq\u0131nda tan\u0131maza-bilm\u0259z\u0259 bu xo\u015f s\u00f6zl\u0259ri dey\u0259rdimi? Ba\u015fqa bir g\u0259lin se\u00e7imin\u0259 zaman\u0131n\u0131n qalmad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan, g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fc \u015f\u0259h\u0259r q\u0131z\u0131ndan yap\u0131\u015fmaq ist\u0259yirdi bu.<\/p>\n

H\u0259kiml\u0259r anam\u0131n x\u0259st\u0259xanada qalmas\u0131n\u0131n g\u0259r\u0259ksiz oldu\u011funu \u00f6l\u00fcm h\u00f6km\u00fc kimi \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 oxuyacaqd\u0131lar. M\u0259n d\u0259 \u00f6z yan\u0131mdan can\u0131m\u0131 di\u015fim\u0259 tutub anama sad\u0259l\u00f6vhc\u0259sin\u0259 yalanlar uydurma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015facaqd\u0131m. Burda “Bil\u0259n s\u00f6yl\u0259m\u0259z, s\u00f6yl\u0259y\u0259n bilm\u0259z” k\u0259lam\u0131 yerin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr. Anam \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259nm\u0259sin dey\u0259 (h\u0259m d\u0259 rus qad\u0131n\u0131n t\u0259lqini il\u0259), s\u00f6hb\u0259ti i\u015f yolda\u015f\u0131m, \u015f\u0259h\u0259rli q\u0131zdan salacaqd\u0131m: – Ana, h\u0259kiml\u0259r deyirl\u0259r, biz burada \u0259limizd\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259ni etdik, yaz a\u011fz\u0131d\u0131r (1969-cu ilin may bayram\u0131 m\u0259nim vay bayram\u0131m\u0131n ba\u015flan\u011f\u0131c\u0131n\u0131 haz\u0131rlamaqda idi…), x\u0259st\u0259ni k\u0259ndiniz\u0259 apar\u0131n, orda – t\u0259miz havada m\u00fcalic\u0259sini davam etdirsin, pay\u0131zda yenid\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259rsiniz. V\u0259 bir halda ki, \u015f\u0259h\u0259rli q\u0131zdan xo\u015fun g\u0259ldi, tez sa\u011fal ki, el\u00e7iliyim\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn ged\u0259 bil\u0259s\u0259n.<\/p>\n

\u00dcmidli s\u00f6zl\u0259rimin qar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131nda anam\u0131n cavab\u0131 amans\u0131z olacaqd\u0131: – Bilir\u0259m, a\u011flama des\u0259m d\u0259, d\u00f6zm\u0259yib a\u011flayacaqsan, amma a\u011flasan, dost-d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259n i\u00e7ind\u0259 a\u011flama, enib ba\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda a\u011fla. Sonra yan\u0131mda dayanan o\u011flan\u0131 \u0259mimo\u011flu Qoca bilib: – A Qoca, M\u0259h\u0259mm\u0259din qarda\u015f\u0131 yoxdu, onu yasda t\u0259k buraxma, yax\u015f\u0131m\u0131? – deyib k\u00f6vr\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kdi.<\/p>\n

M\u0259n\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259rdiyi o mat v\u0259ziyy\u0259ti, Allah kims\u0259y\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259sin.<\/p>\n

…Ayqaranl\u0131q gec\u0259 idi. Qatar qaranl\u0131\u011f\u0131 yara-yara Tovuza – sabaha do\u011fru yol ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Guya m\u0259n\u0259 yollarda k\u00f6m\u0259k etm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ged\u0259n adam kupenin yuxar\u0131 yata\u011f\u0131na ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qoyan kimi xoruldama\u011fa ba\u015flayacaqd\u0131… Ana-bala d\u0259rdimizl\u0259 ba\u015f-ba\u015fa qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131q. Yollarda is\u0259 s\u00fckutu qar\u015f\u0131-qar\u015f\u0131ya g\u0259l\u0259n, bir-birini salamlayan qatarlar\u0131n fit s\u0259sl\u0259ri pozurdu. Sanki bir-biril\u0259ri il\u0259 hal-\u0259hval tuturdular: – Yatmam\u0131san ki? – Yox! – B\u0259s s\u0259n nec\u0259?\u00a0 – M\u0259n d\u0259 yox!<\/p>\n

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Qatar p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259sind\u0259n kupey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n i\u015f\u0131q zola\u011f\u0131 anam\u0131n b\u00fcr\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f, sol\u011fun v\u0259 yor\u011fun sif\u0259tini aradabir i\u015f\u0131qland\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131… El\u0259 bil buluddan Ay \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b-bat\u0131rd\u0131. Do\u011frudanm\u0131, do\u011fmadan-do\u011fma olan bu \u0259ziz sif\u0259t yoxlu\u011fa g\u00f6m\u00fcl\u0259c\u0259k, bird\u0259f\u0259lik silinib ged\u0259c\u0259kdi. O gec\u0259 qatar\u0131nda, o q\u0259m karvan\u0131nda olub-ke\u00e7\u0259nl\u0259ri bir-bir xat\u0131rlama\u011fa ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. A\u011fl\u0131ma el\u0259 hadis\u0259l\u0259r g\u0259lirdi ki, adi g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131m \u00e7atlasa da, onlar\u0131n he\u00e7 birini xat\u0131rlaya bilm\u0259zdim. Anam oruclu a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131n dualar\u0131 v\u0259 yalvar\u0131\u015flar\u0131 il\u0259 m\u0259ni ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn p\u0259nc\u0259sind\u0259n qurtarm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. M\u0259nims\u0259 yalvar\u0131\u015flar\u0131m kupe divarlar\u0131ndan uza\u011fa ged\u0259 bilmir, Allaha ula\u015fm\u0131rd\u0131, Allaha ula\u015fmad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan da anama k\u00f6m\u0259k olmurdu. G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, Allah yaln\u0131z m\u00fcq\u0259dd\u0259sl\u0259rin s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc e\u015fidir, g\u00fcnahl\u0131 b\u0259nd\u0259l\u0259rin yox… Fikirl\u0259\u015firdim ki, indi, budur, bu gec\u0259 qaranl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda d\u0259rd yuma\u011f\u0131na d\u00f6n\u0259n anam, h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259n d\u0259 m\u00fcq\u0259dd\u0259s adamd\u0131. B\u0259lk\u0259 el\u0259 bu m\u00fcq\u0259dd\u0259sliyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 Allah onun dualar\u0131n\u0131, yalvar\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 h\u0259r zaman e\u015fitmi\u015fdi. Taq\u0259ti t\u00fck\u0259n\u0259n, hal\u0131 p\u0259ri\u015fan, h\u0259yat \u00fcmidi b\u00fcsb\u00fct\u00fcn t\u00fck\u0259n\u0259n anamla ba\u015f-ba\u015fa qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131q… Qatar tez-tez dart\u0131n\u0131r, silk\u0259l\u0259nir, anam\u0131n onsuz da a\u011fr\u0131yan can\u0131n\u0131 daha da a\u011fr\u0131d\u0131r. Kupel\u0259rin birind\u0259 mar\u0131\u011fa yatan \u00f6l\u00fcm\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, lokomotivin d\u0259 g\u00fcc\u00fc \u00e7atm\u0131rd\u0131, \u00e7atmad\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 dart\u0131nma\u011f\u0131nda idi. Anam m\u0259n\u0259 hiss etdirm\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fsa da, can hay\u0131ndayd\u0131. \u00c7\u00fcr\u00fcy\u0259n b\u00f6yr\u0259kl\u0259 Bak\u0131dan Tovuza takkatak ged\u0259n on iki saatl\u0131q qatar yolunu get, g\u00f6r\u00fcm nec\u0259 gedirs\u0259n.<\/p>\n

Bu s\u0259tirl\u0259ri bilmir\u0259m nec\u0259 yaz\u0131m v\u0259 bilmir\u0259m ba\u015f\u0131ma haran\u0131n da\u015f\u0131n\u0131 t\u00f6k\u00fcm. Tez-tez ayaqyoluna getm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi, ist\u0259yirdi, amma \u00f6z do\u011fdu\u011fundan utan\u0131rd\u0131 anam. \u00d6l\u00fcm h\u0259l\u0259 yax\u0131n d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259mi\u015fdi o ilahi anal\u0131q, qad\u0131nl\u0131q hissin\u0259. N\u0259 ayaqyoluna getm\u0259y\u0259 taq\u0259ti qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131, n\u0259 d\u0259 o\u011flundan utand\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan b\u0259l\u0259d\u00e7i rus qad\u0131n\u0131n kup\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259tirdiyi…Yax\u015f\u0131 ki, o b\u0259l\u0259d\u00e7i rus qad\u0131n\u0131 vard\u0131…<\/p>\n

\u00d6z aya\u011f\u0131yla getdiyi Bak\u0131dan salacada qay\u0131tm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 anam. Qohum-qon\u015fular ba\u015f\u0131na y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u00dc\u00e7 g\u00fcnd\u00fc ayaq \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 idim. D\u00f6rd\u00fcnc\u00fc gec\u0259 qon\u015fu \u0259mimo\u011flugild\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc s\u0259ks\u0259k\u0259 i\u00e7ind\u0259 yenic\u0259 yummu\u015fdum ki, gec\u0259nin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnd\u0259 a\u011fla\u015fma s\u0259si e\u015fidib \u00fcr\u0259yim\u0259 damanlar\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131ma g\u0259ldiyini duyub evimiz\u0259 do\u011fru qa\u00e7d\u0131m, anam t\u0259ngn\u0259f\u0259s olmu\u015fdu. \u018fll\u0259rind\u0259n ba\u015fqa bir \u015fey g\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259n qohum-qon\u015fu qad\u0131nlar anam\u0131n can\u0131n\u0131n d\u0259st\u0259l\u0259nm\u0259sini bel\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259mi\u015fdil\u0259r, orda-burda edil\u0259\u015firdil\u0259r.<\/p>\n

\u0130lk d\u0259f\u0259 idi ki, \u00f6l\u00fcml\u0259, do\u011fma adam\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc il\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131-qar\u015f\u0131ya g\u0259lirdim. \u00d6z\u00fcmd\u0259n as\u0131l\u0131 olmayaraq, “ana” deyib ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131m. Bu zaman g\u00f6zl\u0259nilm\u0259z bir hadis\u0259 ba\u015f verdi, \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn o t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n-h\u0259yat\u0131n bu t\u0259r\u0259fin\u0259 anam\u0131n bo\u011faz\u0131ndan bir “can” k\u0259lm\u0259si \u00e7\u0131xacaqd\u0131, \u00f6l\u00fcm yax\u0131n d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259mi\u015fdi bu ilahi m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t\u0259. Ana o\u011flunu m\u00fcharib\u0259nin, odun-alovun i\u00e7ind\u0259n el\u0259 bu “can” k\u0259lm\u0259si il\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xarmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m\u0131? Anam\u0131n h\u0259yatda qalan son k\u0259lm\u0259si “can” olacaqd\u0131, o\u011fluna verdiyi v\u0259 o\u011fluna dediyi “can”! Ke\u00e7mi\u015f\u0259 ba\u011flanan ba\u011flar el\u0259 bu sonuncu “can” k\u0259lm\u0259si il\u0259 q\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Gec\u0259nin \u00f6l\u00fcm s\u00fckutunu evimizd\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259n a\u011fla\u015fma s\u0259si pozurdu…M\u0259ni bay\u0131ra \u00e7\u0131xarma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fanlara: – Siz Allah, m\u0259n\u0259 toxunmay\u0131n. Ay camaat, anam\u0131n q\u0131z\u0131 yoxdu, qoyun onu \u00f6z\u00fcm a\u011flay\u0131m, – deyib \u015fiv\u0259n qopar\u0131rd\u0131m.<\/p>\n

1969-cu ilin o m\u0259\u015fum on d\u00f6rd may s\u0259h\u0259ri \u00f6l\u00fcm x\u0259b\u0259rin\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131lacaqd\u0131. Bu s\u0259h\u0259r h\u0259m d\u0259 anamla ba\u011fl\u0131 son sirl\u0259ri d\u0259 a\u00e7acaqd\u0131. Adamlar q\u0259bir qazma\u011fa ged\u0259nd\u0259 anam\u0131n sirr yolda\u015f\u0131 Xat\u0131n bibi q\u0259bri q\u0259biristanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n hans\u0131 s\u0259mtind\u0259 qazacaqlar\u0131n\u0131 soru\u015fanda ata t\u0259r\u0259fimizin yatd\u0131\u011f\u0131 s\u0259mtd\u0259 cavab\u0131n\u0131 ver\u0259c\u0259kdil\u0259r… Xat\u0131n bibi is\u0259: – G\u00fcn\u00fc qara g\u0259lmi\u015f Bak\u0131ya getm\u0259mi\u015fd\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l gedib q\u0259biristanl\u0131qda atas\u0131n\u0131n m\u0259zar\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131na da\u015f qoyub, m\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259 d\u00f6n\u0259-d\u00f6n\u0259 tap\u015f\u0131rm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, – \u00f6z aya\u011f\u0131mla getdiyim\u0259 baxma, g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcm g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k, ni\u015fan qoymu\u015fam, dey\u0259rs\u0259n ba\u015fqa yerd\u0259 yox, m\u0259ni orda, atam\u0131n yan\u0131nda basd\u0131rs\u0131nlar, – demi\u015fdi.<\/p>\n

Bir c\u0259naz\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fc q\u0259biristana do\u011fru yol alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, g\u00fcnl\u00fc ya\u011f\u0131\u015f ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. El\u0259 bil g\u00f6yl\u0259r d\u0259 c\u0259fake\u015f bir anan\u0131n vaxts\u0131z \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn\u0259 g\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131 t\u00f6k\u00fcrd\u00fc. Q\u0259biristan s\u0259mtinin g\u00f6yl\u0259rind\u0259 g\u00f6yqur\u015fa\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. C\u0259naz\u0259nin \u00fcst\u00fc il\u0259 bir b\u00fclb\u00fcl u\u00e7ma\u011f\u0131nda idi, b\u00fclb\u00fcl sad\u0259c\u0259, u\u00e7murdu, h\u0259m d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc yeyib-t\u00f6k\u00fcr, dil-dil \u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc, o darmacalda m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, c\u0259naz\u0259nin \u00fcst\u00fcyl\u0259 u\u00e7an b\u00fclb\u00fcl filan deyil, anam\u0131n ruhudur, \u00f6z \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn\u0259 a\u011f\u0131 deyir.<\/p>\n

Anam\u0131n “sirl\u0259ri” d\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnd\u0259n sonra bir-bir a\u00e7\u0131lacaqd\u0131. Anam\u0131n t\u0259kidiyl\u0259 Bak\u0131ya getm\u0259k s\u0259b\u0259bini Xat\u0131n bibimin dedikl\u0259rind\u0259n \u00f6yr\u0259n\u0259c\u0259kdim. Anam Bak\u0131ya sa\u011falma\u011fa yox, \u00f6z aya\u011f\u0131yla \u00f6lm\u0259y\u0259 gedirmi\u015f, Xat\u0131n bibim s\u0259b\u0259bini soru\u015fanda cavab\u0131 q\u0131sa olubmu\u015f: – Getm\u0259s\u0259m olmaz, n\u0259 \u00e7oxdu balam\u0131 ist\u0259m\u0259y\u0259n, \u0259g\u0259r Bak\u0131ya getm\u0259yib burda \u00f6ls\u0259m, ham\u0131 anas\u0131 \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f\u00fc g\u00fcnahkar bil\u0259c\u0259k: – Bir o\u011flu var, \u00e7ayda bal\u0131q yan gedir, anas\u0131n\u0131 Bak\u0131ya aparsayd\u0131, y\u0259qin orda sa\u011fal\u0131b g\u0259l\u0259rdi, deyib arxas\u0131nca \u015funduruq qo\u015facaqlar, h\u0259m d\u0259 qoy \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 Bak\u0131da z\u0259hm\u0259timi \u00e7\u0259ksin ki, m\u0259n \u00f6l\u0259nd\u0259n sonra \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc danlay\u0131b da\u011fa-da\u015fa vurmas\u0131n, he\u00e7 olmasa, \u00e7\u0259kdiyi z\u0259hm\u0259td\u0259n t\u0259skinlik taps\u0131n. Bir d\u0259 M\u0259h\u0259mm\u0259d\u0259 dey\u0259rs\u0259n ki, qara bayram\u0131m\u0131 ke\u00e7irm\u0259sin, sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131mda evl\u0259nm\u0259di, he\u00e7 olmasa, \u00f6ld\u00fcy\u00fcmd\u0259n sonra evl\u0259nsin. \u015eu\u011ful \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259 qalarsan, dedikl\u0259rimi yerin\u0259 yetirm\u0259s\u0259n, g\u00f6zl\u0259rimin biri yolda, \u0259ll\u0259rimin biri \u00e7\u00f6ld\u0259 uzal\u0131 qal\u0131b yol g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m, M\u0259h\u0259mm\u0259d (y\u0259ni m\u0259n!) evl\u0259n\u0259n g\u00fcn\u00fc Qarabulaqdan bir s\u0259n\u0259k su doldurub g\u0259tirib yanan m\u0259zar\u0131ma t\u00f6k\u0259rs\u0259n ki, q\u0259brim od tutub yanmas\u0131n.<\/p>\n

V\u0259 nigaran ruhlar\u0131n bu d\u00fcnyan\u0131 t\u0259rk etm\u0259diyin\u0259 inanan m\u0259n, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n haras\u0131nda olursam-olum, anam\u0131n ruhunun m\u0259niml\u0259 oldu\u011funu h\u0259r zaman hiss etdim.<\/p>\n

S\u00f6yl\u0259diyim t\u0259s\u0259lli yalan\u0131n\u0131 yerin\u0259 yetirm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn anam\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fcb-b\u0259y\u0259ndiyi o sa\u00e7\u0131 k\u0259sik \u015f\u0259h\u0259r q\u0131z\u0131 il\u0259 evl\u0259n\u0259c\u0259kdim (Do\u011frumu ed\u0259c\u0259kdim, yanl\u0131\u015fm\u0131, bu ayr\u0131 m\u00f6vzudur!). V\u0259 Bak\u0131dan Tovuza toy karvan\u0131n\u0131n g\u0259ldiyi o g\u00fcn Xat\u0131n bibi Qarabulaqdan bir s\u0259n\u0259k su doldurub anam\u0131n G\u00fcll\u00fct\u0259p\u0259 q\u0259biristanl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndak\u0131 m\u0259zar\u0131na s\u0259p\u0259c\u0259kdi. He\u00e7 bilmir\u0259m, ondan sonra anam\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fc yollardan, \u0259li \u00e7\u00f6ll\u0259rd\u0259n \u00e7\u0259kildimi? H\u0259tta \u00f6mr\u00fcn yetmi\u015f doqquzunda xatir\u0259si m\u0259ni q\u00fcrb\u0259tin h\u00fccr\u0259 k\u00f6\u015f\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 vaxt-bivaxt g\u00f6y\u00fcm-g\u00f6y\u00fcm g\u00f6yn\u0259dir, s\u0131z\u0131m-s\u0131z\u0131m s\u0131zlad\u0131r, h\u00f6nk\u00fcr-h\u00f6nk\u00fcr a\u011flad\u0131rsa, bu, o dem\u0259kdir ki, anam\u0131n h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 \u0259ll\u0259rinin biri \u00e7\u00f6ld\u0259, g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin biri yoldad\u0131r… Sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u00f6y\u00fcdl\u0259rin\u0259 \u0259m\u0259l etm\u0259y\u0259n m\u0259n ba\u015f\u0131da\u015fl\u0131n\u0131n etirafdan v\u0259 g\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131ndan ba\u015fqa \u0259ll\u0259rind\u0259n n\u0259 g\u0259lir ki?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ya Allah, \u00f6z\u00fcn k\u00f6m\u0259k ol,<\/p>\n

K\u00f6m\u0259k S\u0259nin.<\/p>\n

Kimim var ki, S\u0259nd\u0259n ba\u015fqa,<\/p>\n

\u018fl m\u0259nim, \u0259t\u0259k S\u0259nin…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

…X\u0259st\u0259xana k\u00fcnc\u00fcnd\u0259<\/p>\n

\u00d6l\u00fcml\u0259 can \u00e7\u0259k\u0259nd\u0259<\/p>\n

G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u0259 birc\u0259 an<\/p>\n

Gecik\u0259n q\u0131zlar\u0131m\u0131n<\/p>\n

G\u00f6zl\u0259rini “t\u00f6k\u0259nd\u0259”<\/p>\n

Yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcn, ana!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bir az yalan dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131m,<\/p>\n

G\u00f6rm\u0259 g\u00fcnah\u0131 m\u0259nd\u0259:<\/p>\n

Yad\u0131mdan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131nm\u0131 ki,<\/p>\n

Yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015f\u0259s\u0259n d\u0259.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ey bir \u00fcz\u00fc q\u0131z olan,<\/p>\n

Bir \u00fcz\u00fc g\u0259lin ana.<\/p>\n

G\u0259z\u0259ri heyk\u0259lin\u0259m,<\/p>\n

M\u0259n\u0259m heyk\u0259lin, ana.<\/p>\n

H\u0259r g\u00fcn bir g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259z \u0259l<\/p>\n

G\u00fcn\u00fc-g\u00fcn\u0259 calay\u0131r.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7imd\u0259ki oca\u011f\u0131n<\/p>\n

K\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc qurcalay\u0131r.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u0130ndi yerimi laf\u0131n?<\/p>\n

– Etirafm\u0131?<\/p>\n

Ba\u015f\u0131na d\u0259y\u0259ydi etiraf\u0131n!<\/p>\n

\u0259traf\u0131n – etiraf\u0131n…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

S\u0259nin anan deyildi<\/p>\n

X\u0259st\u0259xana k\u00fcnc\u00fcnd\u0259<\/p>\n

Boynunu b\u00fck\u0259n qad\u0131n?<\/p>\n

“Tikan” \u00fcst\u0259 oturub<\/p>\n

g\u00f6zl\u0259rini \u00fcmidsiz<\/p>\n

yollara dik\u0259n qad\u0131n?<\/p>\n

L\u0259n\u0259t olsun pay\u0131na,<\/p>\n

S\u0259nin anan deyildi<\/p>\n

Haray\u0131na, hay\u0131na<\/p>\n

Tanr\u0131 gecik\u0259n qad\u0131n?<\/p>\n

Kirpiyinin k\u00f6lg\u0259si<\/p>\n

\u00dcz\u00fcn\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n qad\u0131n?<\/p>\n

Qa\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7at\u0131nda<\/p>\n

Tale g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259n qad\u0131n?<\/p>\n

Ana \u0259ziz deyildi<\/p>\n

S\u0259n\u0259 quru ad\u0131nca?<\/p>\n

A\u011fl\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259r<\/p>\n

Bir g\u00fcn ad\u0131n bat\u0131nca.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

…Bu il soyuq g\u0259lir q\u0131\u015f<\/p>\n

y\u0259qin n\u0259f\u0259sin d\u0259yir<\/p>\n

Saza\u011f\u0131n i\u015fi deyil<\/p>\n

P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259md\u0259ki nax\u0131\u015f…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

(Dal\u0131b x\u0259yallara q\u0131\u015f s\u0259h\u0259ri d\u0259<\/p>\n

\u0259ynin\u0259 q\u00fcss\u0259d\u0259n paltar geyibdi.<\/p>\n

Tutulub p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259 \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259l\u0259ri d\u0259,<\/p>\n

Y\u0259qin onlara da soyuq d\u0259yibdi…<\/p>\n

…\u00c7aylar qar alt\u0131nda yuxuya d\u00f6n\u00fcb,<\/p>\n

Su buza \u00e7evrilib, buz suya d\u00f6n\u00fcb…<\/p>\n

Qar\u015f\u0131 yamaclara qar x\u0259yal \u00e7\u0259kir,<\/p>\n

\u00c7ay\u0131n buz doda\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcnd\u0259n bal \u00e7\u0259kir…<\/p>\n

…Da\u011flara, da\u015flara n\u0259 yara\u015f\u0131r qar,<\/p>\n

\u0130lahi d\u0259rzinin bi\u00e7diyi paltar,<\/p>\n

G\u00fcn\u0259\u015fin alt\u0131nda par-par par\u0131ldar).<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

…D\u0259rdl\u0259ri ovundurub<\/p>\n

qatamm\u0131ram ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131.<\/p>\n

Yuvas\u0131ndan perik\u0259n<\/p>\n

Bir toyuq fal\u0131 kimi.<\/p>\n

H\u0259rd\u0259n yerin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n<\/p>\n

Bir el misal\u0131 kimi.<\/p>\n

\u00d6l\u00fcl\u0259r \u0259l\u0259k-v\u0259l\u0259k<\/p>\n

El\u0259yir yadda\u015f\u0131m\u0131.<\/p>\n

M\u0259n ki, ocaq \u00e7atmad\u0131m,<\/p>\n

N\u0259dir bu ax\u015fam\u00fcst\u00fc<\/p>\n

Ba\u015f\u0131mda t\u00fct\u0259n t\u00fcst\u00fc?<\/p>\n

Ruhun deyils\u0259, n\u0259dir<\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7imd\u0259 gizli-gizli<\/p>\n

Xatir\u0259mi k\u00fcll\u0259d\u0259n,<\/p>\n

Qapal\u0131 p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259md\u0259<\/p>\n

P\u0259rd\u0259l\u0259ri yell\u0259d\u0259n?..<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

G\u00fcn\u0259\u015f do\u011fsun, do\u011fmas\u0131n<\/p>\n

N\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fc g\u00fcn ad\u0131na?<\/p>\n

Taleyi yar olmad\u0131<\/p>\n

O talesiz qad\u0131na…<\/p>\n

H\u0259l\u0259 bir Allah b\u0259nd\u0259si<\/p>\n

Yoxdu \u00fcr\u0259yi q\u0131z\u0131na.<\/p>\n

Gec\u0259l\u0259r halall\u0131q \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn<\/p>\n

Haram qatd\u0131 yuxusuna…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kim\u0259 corab toxudu,<\/p>\n

Kim\u0259 yor\u011fan s\u0131r\u0131d\u0131…<\/p>\n

Qabar olmu\u015f a\u011f \u0259ll\u0259r<\/p>\n

B\u0259xtinmi taxs\u0131r\u0131d\u0131?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

O nax\u0131\u015flar \u0259riy\u0259r<\/p>\n

G\u00f6l olar q\u0259tr\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n…<\/p>\n

Pay\u0131z yarpa\u011f\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259r<\/p>\n

D\u0259yib – xatir\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n…<\/p>\n

G\u00fcc\u00fc \u00e7at\u0131nca \u00e7\u0131xar<\/p>\n

Heyif xatir\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Taleyin\u0259 ya\u011fan qar,<\/p>\n

O s\u0259ssiz yalvar\u0131\u015flar…<\/p>\n

Dualar\u0131n dilil\u0259<\/p>\n

O Tanr\u0131ya var\u0131\u015flar…<\/p>\n

Yaradan\u0131 yan\u0131ldan<\/p>\n

Aln\u0131ndak\u0131 q\u0131r\u0131\u015flar…<\/p>\n

(D\u0259rd aln\u0131mda q\u0131r\u0131\u015f-q\u0131r\u0131\u015f<\/p>\n

C\u0131\u011f\u0131r\u0131 g\u0259l\u0259n q\u0131\u015flar\u0131n.<\/p>\n

Gedim q\u0131zlara g\u00f6st\u0259rim<\/p>\n

G\u00fczg\u00fcy\u0259 \u00e7ox baxd\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan<\/p>\n

Onlar daha yax\u015f\u0131 bilir<\/p>\n

M\u0259nas\u0131n\u0131 q\u0131r\u0131\u015flar\u0131n).<\/p>\n

Aln\u0131 q\u0131r\u0131\u015f g\u0259tir\u0259r,<\/p>\n

Ana duru\u015f g\u0259tirm\u0259z,<\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7ind\u0259n ana s\u0131nar…<\/p>\n

Ana s\u0131nar o\u011flunu<\/p>\n

G\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn a\u011f-qaras\u0131,<\/p>\n

Birc\u0259 ciy\u0259r paras\u0131<\/p>\n

Be\u015f manat dua pulu<\/p>\n

Q\u0131ymasa anas\u0131na…<\/p>\n

Q\u0131yd\u0131nm\u0131, bivec o\u011ful,<\/p>\n

Q\u0131y\u0131m\u0131 yox Tanr\u0131s\u0131z…<\/p>\n

Yet\u0259r, q\u0131ymad\u0131n, q\u0131yma.<\/p>\n

S\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 q\u0131yard\u0131m<\/p>\n

Do\u011fransan q\u0131yma-q\u0131yma…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

…D\u00f6nm\u0259mi\u015f qara baxt\u0131m,<\/p>\n

S\u00f6nm\u0259mi\u015f odum, gedim.<\/p>\n

Al\u0131n q\u0131r\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n<\/p>\n

Ucunu tutum gedim.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Gedim, gedim s\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131m,<\/p>\n

Qoynuna bir anan\u0131n.<\/p>\n

T\u0259s\u0259lli yeri yox ki,<\/p>\n

Bu d\u00fcnya viranan\u0131n.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

(Ana qay\u011f\u0131s\u0131na m\u0259hkum bir u\u015faq…<\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7i rahatd\u0131, yeri yumu\u015faq…<\/p>\n

Yalq\u0131zd\u0131. Yoxdumu bac\u0131, qarda\u015f\u0131?<\/p>\n

Bir \u0259l s\u0131\u011fal\u0131na m\u00f6htacd\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131…<\/p>\n

H\u0259l\u0259 g\u00f6yd\u0259 Allah, o yerd\u0259 t\u0259kdi…<\/p>\n

K\u00f6rp\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 istidi d\u0259rdi;<\/p>\n

H\u0259l\u0259 \u00e7ox q\u0131\u015flar\u0131 yaza d\u00f6nd\u0259rib,<\/p>\n

H\u0259l\u0259 \u00e7ox qarlar\u0131 \u0259rid\u0259c\u0259kdi…<\/p>\n

S\u00fckutdu i\u00e7in\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kdiyi hava,<\/p>\n

Buluddu tutdu\u011fu ana \u0259t\u0259yi.<\/p>\n

Umuddu i\u00e7in\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259n n\u0259va,<\/p>\n

Umuddu s\u0131zlayan \u00e7oban t\u00fct\u0259yi…<\/p>\n

Bu da i\u00e7\u0259ri dar, bay\u0131r qar \u00fcmid,<\/p>\n

\u0130mandan, g\u00fcmandan inadkar \u00fcmid, –<\/p>\n

Doqquz aydan sonra g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k bahar…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Umuddu h\u0259l\u0259<\/p>\n

Qar\u015f\u0131da yoluna g\u00f6z dik\u0259n t\u0259l\u0259…).<\/p>\n

Gedim, gedim \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcn<\/p>\n

Oyan\u0131\u015f \u00e7a\u011flar\u0131na.<\/p>\n

D\u00fcnyan\u0131n o ba\u015f\u0131na –<\/p>\n

Heyr\u0259t uzaqlar\u0131na.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

H\u0259sr\u0259tin o ba\u015f\u0131nda<\/p>\n

G\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 dan a\u011faran<\/p>\n

K\u00f6nl\u00fcnd\u0259 g\u00fcn\u0259\u015f yatan<\/p>\n

H\u00f6r\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc k\u00f6ks\u00fcn\u00fcn<\/p>\n

\u00dcst\u0259 k\u00fcl\u0259k oynadan<\/p>\n

On \u00fc\u00e7-on d\u00f6rd ya\u015f\u0131nda<\/p>\n

Bir q\u0131z durar qar\u015f\u0131nda.<\/p>\n

Durar \u0259li qa\u015f\u0131nda,<\/p>\n

Arzular\u0131 g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k<\/p>\n

Zaman\u0131n yadda\u015f\u0131nda.<\/p>\n

…Durnalar l\u0259l\u0259k salar<\/p>\n

X\u0259yal\u0131n g\u00f6yl\u0259rind\u0259n<\/p>\n

H\u0259yat\u0131n ger\u00e7\u0259yin\u0259.<\/p>\n

G\u0259lib-g\u0259lib dayanar<\/p>\n

\u00d6mr\u00fcn qara g\u00fcn\u00fcnd\u0259n<\/p>\n

A\u011faran bir\u00e7\u0259yin\u0259…<\/p>\n

Hans\u0131na inanmal\u0131 –<\/p>\n

Yalana, ger\u00e7\u0259y\u0259mi?<\/p>\n

Qaralan sa\u00e7laram\u0131,<\/p>\n

A\u011faran bir\u00e7\u0259y\u0259mi?<\/p>\n

K\u00f6n\u00fcl \u00e7ar\u0259si n\u0259dir,<\/p>\n

N\u0259dir k\u00f6n\u00fcl yaras\u0131?<\/p>\n

Arama\u011f\u0131n xeyri n\u0259,<\/p>\n

Yox ki bunun \u00e7ar\u0259si…<\/p>\n

\u00d6m\u00fcr tale \u0259lind\u0259<\/p>\n

D\u00fcy\u00fcn d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n qatmad\u0131<\/p>\n

Olsa-olsa h\u0259yat\u0131n<\/p>\n

Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 aldatmad\u0131…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dilinin duas\u0131yla,<\/p>\n

\u00dcr\u0259yinin yas\u0131yla<\/p>\n

Haqq\u0131 d\u0259ng ed\u0259n qad\u0131n…<\/p>\n

Bu yollarda b\u0259xt g\u0259zib<\/p>\n

\u00dcr\u0259kke\u00e7m\u0259si tapan,<\/p>\n

V\u0259 b\u0259xtin arxas\u0131nca<\/p>\n

\u00d6z\u00fcnd\u0259n ged\u0259n qad\u0131n.<\/p>\n

Ruhunun \u0259ll\u0259riyl\u0259<\/p>\n

B\u0259xt\u0259 z\u0259ng ed\u0259n qad\u0131n.<\/p>\n

\u018frsiz dili a\u011fz\u0131nda<\/p>\n

\u015eal kimi yanan qad\u0131n.<\/p>\n

(Bu qad\u0131n – anan qad\u0131n!)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00dcr\u0259y\u0259 dammalarla<\/p>\n

\u0130lahi ismar\u0131\u015fda.<\/p>\n

K\u00f6lg\u0259nd\u0259n daha yax\u0131n<\/p>\n

Var olan h\u0259r var\u0131\u015fda.<\/p>\n

Haray\u0131na \u00e7atmada<\/p>\n

Tanr\u0131 il\u0259 yar\u0131\u015fda.<\/p>\n

\u018fli qabar-qabard\u0131<\/p>\n

\u0259lind\u0259ydi d\u0259rdl\u0259rin.<\/p>\n

Ona xeyri yoxdu ki,<\/p>\n

G\u0259l\u0259n 8 martlar\u0131n?!.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Y\u0259qin buna deyirl\u0259r<\/p>\n

Damarda, qanda olmaq.<\/p>\n

Bir yanda yoxa \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b<\/p>\n

D\u00f6n\u00fcb h\u0259r yanda olmaq…<\/p>\n

Birc\u0259 arzusu vard\u0131:<\/p>\n

G\u00f6rs\u0259, o\u011ful toyunu;<\/p>\n

Mal des\u0259n, mal\u0131 yoxdu,<\/p>\n

Olan bir can\u0131 vard\u0131…<\/p>\n

Can des\u0259n, can ver\u0259rdi<\/p>\n

Yalana \u00e7\u0131xarard\u0131<\/p>\n

Bir g\u00fcn Qorqud d\u0259d\u0259nin<\/p>\n

“D\u0259li Domrul ” boyunu…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yer \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 ba\u011flayar<\/p>\n

Bizi \u00fclf\u0259ti, mehri.<\/p>\n

Ana, g\u00f6b\u0259k ba\u011f\u0131n\u0131n<\/p>\n

G\u00f6b\u0259yind\u0259ki m\u00f6hr\u00fc…<\/p>\n

Hara gets\u0259 ard\u0131nca<\/p>\n

Gizli-gizli s\u00fcr\u00fcn\u0259n<\/p>\n

O “Q\u0131l k\u00f6rp\u00fc” deyil\u0259n<\/p>\n

B\u0259lk\u0259 ana b\u0259tnidir<\/p>\n

\u00d6mr\u00fcn bir \u0259vv\u0259lind\u0259,<\/p>\n

Bir sonunda g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n…<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

X\u0259b\u0259r g\u0259tirmi\u015fdi<\/p>\n

teleqram-\u00e7apar:<\/p>\n

– X\u0259st\u0259y\u0259m,<\/p>\n

g\u0259l m\u0259ni Bak\u0131ya apar.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

M\u0259h\u0259mm\u0259d, ay M\u0259h\u0259mm\u0259d<\/p>\n

Daha, odumuz yan\u0131b,<\/p>\n

suyumuz axm\u0131r daha.<\/p>\n

Ayaqlar\u0131m s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 baxm\u0131r, ay anan \u00f6ls\u00fcn,<\/p>\n

B\u0259xtim\u0259 a\u011fz\u0131 yanm\u0131\u015f<\/p>\n

Fal\u00e7\u0131 da baxm\u0131r daha:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sevir ayr\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu b\u0259\u015f\u0259r, sevir,<\/p>\n

\u00d6m\u00fcr g\u00fcnl\u0259rim\u0259 qalm\u0131\u015f \u0259r\u015f evi,<\/p>\n

Zaman d\u0259yi\u015fdirir zaman, h\u0259r \u015feyi,<\/p>\n

Fal\u00e7\u0131, yat m\u0259nim\u00e7in bir yuxu da g\u00f6r…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Xo\u015fb\u0259xtlik ilahi sird\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259,<\/p>\n

Qar\u0131\u015f\u0131b ikisi bird\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259,<\/p>\n

Sevinc g\u00f6zl\u0259nilm\u0259z yerd\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259…<\/p>\n

Fal\u00e7\u0131, yat m\u0259nim\u00e7in bir yuxu da g\u00f6r…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7ind\u0259 su olan bir cam da olsun,<\/p>\n

Sabah oyanma\u011fa inam da olsun,<\/p>\n

Orda m\u0259n d\u0259 olum, anam da olsun,<\/p>\n

Fal\u00e7\u0131, yat m\u0259nim\u00e7in bir yuxu da g\u00f6r…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bir \u015feyl\u0259r demi\u015fdin alt\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131mda,<\/p>\n

H\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 havas\u0131 qal\u0131r ba\u015f\u0131mda…<\/p>\n

Qopsun f\u0131rt\u0131nlar qan yadda\u015f\u0131mda,<\/p>\n

Fal\u00e7\u0131, yat m\u0259nim\u00e7in bir yuxu da g\u00f6r…<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Hisli lampalar\u0131ndan<\/p>\n

Yoxsulluq ya\u011fan evl\u0259r…<\/p>\n

S\u0131n\u0131q p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259l\u0259ri<\/p>\n

g\u00fcn\u0259\u015f\u0259 baxan evl\u0259r.<\/p>\n

Yara\u015f\u0131qdan yad olmaz<\/p>\n

G\u00fcn\u0259\u015f-yara\u015f\u0131qlar\u0131…<\/p>\n

Gec\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 tor atar<\/p>\n

bo\u011fulan i\u015f\u0131qlar\u0131…<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u0259lind\u0259 qaranl\u0131q \u0259sir<\/p>\n

Evd\u0259 yoxsullu\u011fun k\u00f6lg\u0259si g\u0259zir…<\/p>\n

Qatla barma\u011f\u0131n\u0131 n\u0259 vard\u0131 k\u0259ndd\u0259,<\/p>\n

S\u0259nsiz yetim qalan d\u0259rd \u015fikay\u0259td\u0259.<\/p>\n

Vaxts\u0131z \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259yini t\u00f6k\u0259r gilaslar<\/p>\n

T\u00fck\u0259nmir s\u0131raya d\u00fcz\u00fcl\u0259n yaslar…<\/p>\n

Q\u0259bristan yolumu \u0259c\u0259lin f\u0259ndi,<\/p>\n

Bir-bir torpaq altda da\u015f\u0131y\u0131r k\u0259ndi…<\/p>\n

Baxma ki, bir ucdan bahar g\u00fcl a\u00e7\u0131r,<\/p>\n

T\u00f6k\u00fcr yarpa\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bir ucdan pay\u0131z…<\/p>\n

Da\u011flar ayaqdad\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fc suyuyla,<\/p>\n

Bulaqlar – g\u00f6zl\u0259ri yol \u00e7\u0259k\u0259n ayna…<\/p>\n

Soluxan soluxub, n\u0259 toy, n\u0259 d\u00fcd\u00fck?<\/p>\n

Get \u00f6z\u00fcn-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 \u0259l \u00e7al\u0131b oyna…<\/p>\n

Gah yatar, gah qalx\u0131b baxar ucadan,<\/p>\n

Sonuncu yoxu\u015fu \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131nm\u0131 solda?<\/p>\n

T\u0259p\u0259nin d\u00f6\u015f\u00fcnd\u0259 anamd\u0131 yatan,<\/p>\n

Bir \u0259li \u00e7\u00f6ld\u0259dir, bir g\u00f6z\u00fc yolda…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Niy\u0259 pu\u00e7 olmad\u0131 b\u0259s ata yurdu?<\/p>\n

\u00dcst\u00fcnd\u0259 anam\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fc var ax\u0131.<\/p>\n

Qaranl\u0131q gec\u0259d\u0259 yoluma nurdu,<\/p>\n

O Ay da anam\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fcyl\u0259 bax\u0131r.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Uzal\u0131 deyils\u0259 ana \u0259ll\u0259ri,<\/p>\n

Yollara baxm\u0131rsa qoca bir qar\u0131<\/p>\n

B\u0259s onda hardand\u0131r s\u0259h\u0259r yell\u0259ri<\/p>\n

Hardand\u0131r, G\u00f6yl\u0259rin a\u011f buludlar\u0131?<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

…G\u00f6r\u0259n hans\u0131 x\u0259b\u0259rdi s\u0259sl\u0259rind\u0259 duyulan,<\/p>\n

Q\u0259rib saxsa\u011fanlar\u0131n?<\/p>\n

B\u0259s onda neyl\u0259m\u0259li so\u011fan kimi soyulan<\/p>\n

G\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131na d\u00f6n\u00fcrs\u0259 ac\u0131s\u0131 so\u011fanlar\u0131n?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Qaynayan suya d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f,<\/p>\n

b\u00fcr\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f alma kimi<\/p>\n

Q\u0131r\u0131\u015f-q\u0131r\u0131\u015f sif\u0259ti, bir d\u0259 b\u0259yaz sa\u00e7lar\u0131.<\/p>\n

K\u00fcl\u0259k vaxts\u0131z s\u0259das\u0131 g\u0259l\u0259n ya\u011f\u0131\u015f\u0131n, qar\u0131n,<\/p>\n

A\u011fl\u0131ma b\u0259yaz sa\u00e7lar\u0131n,<\/p>\n

i\u00e7imi s\u0131z\u0131m-s\u0131z\u0131m s\u0131zladan q\u0131\u015f g\u0259lir,<\/p>\n

Sevinc m\u0259nd\u0259n yan \u00f6t\u00fcr<\/p>\n

K\u0259d\u0259r m\u0259n\u0259 tu\u015f g\u0259lir, ana…<\/p>\n

Arzundan, taleyind\u0259n,<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015find\u0259n, g\u00fcc\u00fcnd\u0259n ke\u00e7m\u0259lis\u0259n.<\/p>\n

Can dedin, can \u015firinmi,<\/p>\n

can\u0131ndan ke\u00e7m\u0259k olmur.<\/p>\n

\u00d6l\u00fcm olsun, qan olsun,<\/p>\n

i\u00e7ind\u0259n ke\u00e7m\u0259lis\u0259n,<\/p>\n

V\u0259 bu yalan d\u00fcnyan\u0131n<\/p>\n

yan\u0131ndan ke\u00e7m\u0259k olmur…<\/p>\n

F\u0259xrin, f\u0259xar\u0259tindim,<\/p>\n

g\u00f6z nurun, qulaq h\u0259yan\u0131n,<\/p>\n

D\u00fcnyaya diqq\u0259tindim,<\/p>\n

Yan\u0131mdan yel ke\u00e7\u0259nd\u0259<\/p>\n

varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00fc\u015f\u00fcy\u0259rdi,<\/p>\n

Varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n qulaq olub<\/p>\n

yollar\u0131 din\u015fiy\u0259rdi…<\/p>\n

\u00d6lm\u00fcr, analar \u00f6lm\u00fcr…<\/p>\n

Varl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan h\u0259yata<\/p>\n

canl\u0131 k\u00f6rp\u00fcl\u0259r atan,<\/p>\n

H\u0259l\u0259 bizd\u0259 ya\u015fayan,<\/p>\n

h\u0259l\u0259 bizi ya\u015fadan<\/p>\n

\u00d6lm\u00fcr, analar, \u00f6lm\u00fcr…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

…Hans\u0131 d\u0259nizin suyu<\/p>\n

bizim da\u011flara ya\u011f\u0131r?<\/p>\n

bizim yerin buxar\u0131<\/p>\n

\u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcr hans\u0131 d\u0259niz\u0259?..<\/p>\n

Y\u00fcz arx\u0131n \u00f6mr\u00fcd\u00fcr bir \u00e7ay\u0131n \u00f6mr\u00fc,<\/p>\n

Arxlar bulaqlar\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 tutmaz.<\/p>\n

Uzanar \u00f6vlad\u0131n arxay\u0131n \u00f6mr\u00fc,<\/p>\n

Ana yaddan \u00e7\u0131xar, ana unutmaz.<\/p>\n

D\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259l yeriydi k\u0259ndim,<\/p>\n

Sevgisi, sevinci bir\u0259-be\u015fiydi.<\/p>\n

Ondak\u0131 Allahd\u0131, anamd\u0131, m\u0259ndim<\/p>\n

B\u0259xtimin sirda\u015f\u0131 yaz g\u00fcn\u0259\u015fiydi.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bir k\u00f6n\u00fcl i\u015fidir h\u0259r a\u00e7\u0131lan g\u00fcl,<\/p>\n

D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259k olarm\u0131 q\u00f6n\u00e7\u0259ni g\u00fcls\u00fcz?<\/p>\n

Allaha sevginin evidir k\u00f6n\u00fcl,<\/p>\n

Quru d\u00f6rd divard\u0131 d\u00fcnya k\u00f6n\u00fcls\u00fcz…<\/p>\n

A\u00e7\u0131lan \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259r Allah\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fc,<\/p>\n

Allah\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fcd\u00fcr ya\u015f\u0131l budaqlar…<\/p>\n

G\u00f6yd\u0259n sirr ya\u011f\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Ya\u011f\u0131\u015flar Tanr\u0131n\u0131n fikridir, ya\u011f\u0131r.<\/p>\n

…G\u00f6rd\u00fcm qar\u015f\u0131 da\u011fa \u00e7\u00f6k\u0259n \u00e7\u0259nl\u0259ri,<\/p>\n

yoxsa… dilim-a\u011fz\u0131m qurusun, Allah.<\/p>\n

Qoruya bilm\u0259dim m\u0259n sev\u0259nl\u0259ri,<\/p>\n

M\u0259ni sev\u0259nl\u0259ri qorusun Allah.<\/p>\n

Bu gec\u0259 s\u0259h\u0259ri g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259r,<\/p>\n

K\u0259s\u0259r barma\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bu gec\u0259, yatmaz.<\/p>\n

Anam da yuxuma girm\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259r,<\/p>\n

G\u00f6r\u0259r ki, yatm\u0131\u015fam q\u0131y\u0131b oyatmaz.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A\u011f duman b\u00fcr\u00fcy\u0259r qara sa\u00e7lar\u0131,<\/p>\n

Q\u0131\u015f k\u0259sib qap\u0131n\u0131 pay\u0131z axsay\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Yollar ayr\u0131c\u0131nda qoz a\u011faclar\u0131<\/p>\n

Yolumu g\u00f6zl\u0259yir, g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fc say\u0131r…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

H\u0259l\u0259 ki, \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u0259 l\u0259ngiyir bahar,<\/p>\n

B\u0259xtin \u0259lind\u0259dir h\u0259l\u0259 ki, yaxam.<\/p>\n

Pay\u0131zdan bahara qay\u0131tma\u011f\u0131m var,<\/p>\n

Pay\u0131zdan bahara bu g\u00fcn-sabaham…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Uzanar g\u00fcn\u0259\u015fin q\u0131z\u0131l sa\u00e7lar\u0131,<\/p>\n

Enib d\u0259r\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f \u0259rid\u0259r.<\/p>\n

T\u00f6k\u0259r meyv\u0259sini qoz a\u011faclar\u0131,<\/p>\n

G\u00f6yl\u0259r hesab\u0131n\u0131 yerd\u0259 \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcd\u0259r…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

O u\u00e7uq hasarlar, o sahibsiz ev<\/p>\n

Divarda h\u0259sr\u0259tin doda\u011f\u0131 \u00e7at-\u00e7at.<\/p>\n

Bir d\u0259 bundan sonra v\u0259t\u0259ni y\u00fcz sev,<\/p>\n

\u00dcmidl\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 y\u00fcz d\u0259f\u0259 allat.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Xeyri yox, ged\u0259nl\u0259r g\u0259lm\u0259z geriy\u0259,<\/p>\n

V\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 geriy\u0259 qay\u0131tmayacaq.<\/p>\n

Deyirdin, bir zaman ocaq yeriy\u0259m,<\/p>\n

Yand\u0131ran yoxdursa n\u0259 od, n\u0259 ocaq?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

…Qara bulud v\u0259t\u0259nn\u0259nmi g\u0259lirs\u0259n,<\/p>\n

\u00d6l\u0259nn\u0259nmi, it\u0259nn\u0259nmi g\u0259lirs\u0259n?<\/p>\n

Bu q\u00fcrb\u0259td\u0259 s\u0259nn\u0259n bet\u0259r dolan m\u0259n,<\/p>\n

Ya m\u0259ns\u0259nmi, s\u0259n m\u0259nn\u0259nmi, g\u0259lirs\u0259n?<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00c7\u00f6ld\u0259 barma\u011f\u0131ma tik\u0259n batanda<\/p>\n

\u00dcst\u00fcn\u0259 qa\u00e7ard\u0131m \u0259ll\u0259ri qanl\u0131.<\/p>\n

Bir \u00e7arpan \u00fcr\u0259kdik biz iki canda<\/p>\n

S\u0259n o\u011fulcanl\u0131yd\u0131n, m\u0259n anacanl\u0131…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ya\u015f olub axard\u0131 yetim q\u00fcrurum,<\/p>\n

Atam da yox idi f\u0259rqin\u0259 vars\u0131n.<\/p>\n

Dey\u0259rdin, a\u011flama, g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn nuru<\/p>\n

G\u0259tir barma\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6p\u00fcm qurtars\u0131n.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u0130ndi o ilahi sevgil\u0259r han\u0131?<\/p>\n

Bir candan ke\u00e7\u0259ydi ba\u015fqa bir cana.<\/p>\n

\u00d6p\u0259rdin, k\u0259s\u0259rdi \u0259limin qan\u0131,<\/p>\n

S\u0259nin n\u0259f\u0259sind\u0259 n\u0259 varm\u0131\u015f, ana?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yerl\u0259rin g\u00f6yl\u0259r\u0259 dil\u0259yi s\u0259ndin,<\/p>\n

Baxt\u0131na vaxt\u0131m\u0131n g\u00fcn\u0259\u015fi do\u011fdu.<\/p>\n

D\u00fcnyaya g\u0259ldiyim ana v\u0259t\u0259ndin<\/p>\n

S\u0259n yoxsan, b\u0259lk\u0259 he\u00e7 v\u0259t\u0259n d\u0259 yoxdu…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

B\u0259s niy\u0259 \u00fcst\u00fcmd\u0259n k\u00f6lg\u0259ni \u00e7\u0259kdin?<\/p>\n

D\u00f6nd\u0259rib k\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fc neyl\u0259r\u0259, getdin.<\/p>\n

B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 g\u00f6yl\u0259rd\u0259n en\u0259n m\u0259l\u0259kdin,<\/p>\n

Qay\u0131d\u0131b yenid\u0259n g\u00f6yl\u0259r\u0259 getdin.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u0130nsan\u0131n m\u0259nzili a\u011fr\u0131larcad\u0131,<\/p>\n

Uzanar v\u0259t\u0259nd\u0259n q\u00fcrb\u0259t\u0259 ac\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Qan olan \u00fcr\u0259yim parampar\u00e7ad\u0131,<\/p>\n

S\u0259n yoxsan, m\u0259n kimin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qa\u00e7\u0131m?<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00d6l\u00fcms\u00fczd\u0259n \u00f6l\u00fcms\u00fcz<\/p>\n

Ana b\u0259tni – bu tunel.<\/p>\n

Allahdan sonsuzacan<\/p>\n

Bu tuneld\u0259n ke\u00e7ib gedir b\u00fct\u00fcn el…<\/p>\n

2016 – 30 avqust 2018<\/p>\n

\u00c7anaqqala (T\u00fcrkiy\u0259) – Tovuz<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Yaz\u0131ya 1327 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 Ha\u00e7ansa “Birc\u0259 ana-v\u0259t\u0259ndi, yerd\u0259 qalan\u0131 q\u00fcrb\u0259t” misralar\u0131n\u0131 yazm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Qocal\u0131qdand\u0131r, q\u00fcrb\u0259td\u0259ndir, bilmir\u0259m, anam tez-tez yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr v\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fc anda da ba\u015flay\u0131ram balaca u\u015faq kimi h\u00f6nk\u00fcr-h\u00f6nk\u00fcr a\u011flama\u011fa. O talesiz qad\u0131n bu d\u00fcnyaya niy\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015fdi, g\u0259li\u015finin m\u0259qs\u0259di n\u0259ydi, n\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fc, n\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131? \u00d6mr\u00fcn 22 ya\u015f\u0131nda dul qalan, sa\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n birini a\u011f, birini qara h\u00f6r\u00fcb min z\u00fclm, zill\u0259tl\u0259 t\u0259k […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":11375,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1,5,16,3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11374"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11374"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11374\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11376,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11374\/revisions\/11376"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/11375"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11374"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11374"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11374"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}