{"id":11439,"date":"2018-11-09T20:40:00","date_gmt":"2018-11-09T16:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=11439"},"modified":"2018-11-09T20:40:00","modified_gmt":"2018-11-09T16:40:00","slug":"sakir-xanhuseynli-b%c9%99z%c9%99n-el%c9%99-bilir%c9%99m-ki","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=11439","title":{"rendered":"\u015eAK\u0130R XANH\u00dcSEYNL\u0130 – B\u0259z\u0259n el\u0259 bilir\u0259m ki…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"sakir<\/a>***<\/span>
bir T\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm<\/span>
dola\u015f\u0131b k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259ri<\/span>
ham\u0131n\u0131 xo\u015fhal ed\u0259r,<\/span>
k\u00f6n\u00fcl g\u00fcld\u00fcr\u0259r.<\/span>

bir \u0130\u015f\u0131q qaranl\u0131qlar i\u00e7ind\u0259<\/span>
\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 x\u0259yallar qurar…<\/span>

tan\u0131y\u0131b-bildiyim bir N\u0259f\u0259s<\/span>
gedir-g\u0259lir,<\/span>
yeni N\u0259f\u0259sl\u0259rl\u0259<\/span>
o da t\u0259z\u0259l\u0259nir el\u0259 bil…<\/span>

bir S\u0259s<\/span>
\u00e7a\u015f\u0131b qal\u0131b yollarda;<\/span>
h\u0259r t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259 s\u0259ssizlik…<\/span>

***<\/span>
\u015eeir yazanda-<\/span>
bu anda<\/span>
g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcn aya\u011f\u0131m\u0131n alt\u0131nda n\u0259 var-<\/span>
havadan as\u0131l\u0131 qallam…<\/span>

\u015feir yazanda<\/span>
san\u0131ram<\/span>
b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcnahlardan ar\u0131n\u0131ram.<\/span>

\u015eeir yazanda<\/span>
qar\u0131\u015fqalar \u00fcst\u00fcm\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r,<\/span>
boynuma minir.<\/span>

qan\u0131m\u0131 soranlar,arxay\u0131n olun,<\/span>
aln\u0131ma k\u00f6z yap\u0131\u015fd\u0131r\u0131n,<\/span>
dizimin k\u00fcnd\u0259sini q\u0131r\u0131n<\/span>
m\u0259n \u015feir yazanda…<\/span>

***<\/span>
\u0259lim bir \u0259l\u0259,<\/span>
g\u00f6z\u00fcm bir g\u00f6z\u0259,<\/span>
s\u00f6z\u00fcm bir s\u00f6z\u0259<\/span>
d\u0259ym\u0259yinc\u0259,toxunmay\u0131nca<\/span>
t\u0259nhayam,t\u0259k\u0259m m\u0259n<\/span>

oca\u011f\u0131m oca\u011f\u0131ndan k\u00f6z almay\u0131nca,<\/span>
h\u0259sr\u0259td\u0259n,h\u00fcznd\u0259n \u00f6c almay\u0131nca;<\/span>
ah,s\u0259n olmay\u0131nca,s\u0259n olmay\u0131nca<\/span>
bit\u0259n,t\u00fck\u0259n\u0259n m\u0259n<\/span>

dizim\u0259 bir dizin taq\u0259ti axmay\u0131nca,<\/span>
\u00fcr\u0259yimd\u0259n bir tikan \u00e7\u0131xmay\u0131nca,<\/span>
\u0259zablar\u0131m g\u00fcn boyunca-<\/span>
sanki h\u0259r bir d\u0259rdi \u00e7\u0259k\u0259n m\u0259n<\/span>

k\u00f6lg\u0259m k\u00f6lg\u0259nd\u0259n d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259yinc\u0259,<\/span>
yollar\u0131m\u0131z bir-biriyl\u0259 k\u0259si\u015fm\u0259yinc\u0259,<\/span>
ya g\u00fcnd\u00fcz olsun,ya gec\u0259<\/span>
\u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n \u00fcrk\u0259n m\u0259n<\/span>

da\u015f\u0131 g\u00f6t\u00fcr at sin\u0259nd\u0259n,<\/span>
ey h\u0259yat bildiyim,\u00f6l\u00fcms\u0259n,n\u0259s\u0259n,<\/span>
bax,ax\u0131r g\u0259lib ke\u00e7\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m s\u0259nd\u0259n;<\/span>
do\u011fanaq s\u0259n,\u00f6rk\u0259n m\u0259n…<\/span>

***<\/span>
b\u0259z\u0259n el\u0259 bilir\u0259m ki<\/span>
evimin divarlar\u0131<\/span>
m\u0259n\u0259 s\u00f6yk\u0259nir<\/span>
sanki a\u015fmamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn<\/span>

***<\/span>
bu soyuqlar g\u00fcn\u0259\u015fin soyu\u011fudur,<\/span>
ya\u011f\u0131\u015f da onun,bulud da…<\/span>
bir azdan g\u00fccl\u00fc \u015faxtalar d\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259k g\u00fcn\u0259\u015fd\u0259n,<\/span>
baxsan el\u0259 g\u00fcn\u0259\u015findi z\u00fclm\u0259t d\u0259…<\/span>


XAT\u0130R\u018fL\u018fR \u0130Z\u0130YL\u018f…<\/span>
1<\/span>
K\u00fcm\u0259d\u0259<\/span>
k\u00fcm\u0259nin yo\u011fun orta tirind\u0259n k\u00fcp asar,<\/span>
k\u00fcp\u0259 ged\u0259rdik,<\/span>
b\u00fct\u00fcn etdikl\u0259rimiz el\u0259ydi ki,<\/span>
bilm\u0259zdik n\u0259 etdiyimizi,<\/span>
sanki Tanr\u0131 qoruyurdu,<\/span>
yedirir,i\u00e7irirdi bizi…<\/span>
Yell\u0259nc\u0259k ipi \u0259n \u00e7ox \u00f6rk\u0259n olurdu-<\/span>
q\u0131r\u0131lmaz,rahat,<\/span>
h\u0259l\u0259 anlamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u00e7il\u0259l\u0259r i\u00e7ind\u0259<\/span>
\u00e7ox g\u00f6z\u0259liydi h\u0259yat…<\/span>
2<\/span>
Me\u015f\u0259d\u0259 quru odun do\u011fray\u0131b<\/span>
b\u0259hs\u0259 gir\u0259rdik kim birinci dolduracaq tay\u00e7alar\u0131,<\/span>
h\u0259m d\u0259 ula\u011fa kimin \u00e7atd\u0131\u011f\u0131 y\u00fck a\u015f\u0131rmayacaq…<\/span>
B\u0259rkl\u0259rd\u0259 tay-tay deyib<\/span>
duyuq salard\u0131q ula\u011f\u0131.<\/span>
\u00c7\u00f6r\u0259k haqq\u0131,<\/span>
ulaq sanasan \u201cba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb\u201d bizi<\/span>
\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc toparlar,<\/span>
bir yer\u0259 ili\u015fm\u0259d\u0259n,<\/span>
s\u00fcr\u00fc\u015fm\u0259d\u0259n ke\u00e7\u0259rdi b\u0259rkl\u0259ri…<\/span>
3<\/span>
\u018fn maraql\u0131 m\u00f6vsimi i\u015fl\u0259rd\u0259n biri,<\/span>
\u0259lb\u0259tt\u0259,<\/span>
yay\u0131n \u0259vv\u0259ll\u0259rind\u0259<\/span>
z\u0259mil\u0259ri suvarmaq\u00e7\u0131n<\/span>
b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u0259rimizin bizi d\u0259 arx \u00e7\u0131xarma\u011fa aparmas\u0131yd\u0131…<\/span>
g\u00f6l tutmaq,<\/span>
arx i\u00e7i t\u0259mizl\u0259m\u0259k,<\/span>
\u00e7im k\u0259sm\u0259k,da\u015f\u0131maq,<\/span>
arx\u0131n q\u0131r\u0131lan yerl\u0259rini b\u0259rkitm\u0259k,<\/span>
nov atmaq,<\/span>
arx\u0131n l\u0259m hiss\u0259sini n\u0259zar\u0259td\u0259 saxlamaq,<\/span>
suyun qaba\u011f\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7maq,<\/span>
heyvanat\u0131n,adamlar\u0131n ke\u00e7diyi ke\u00e7\u0259latlar<\/span>
x\u00fcsusi s\u0259yl\u0259,s\u0259liq\u0259yl\u0259 d\u00fcz\u0259lm\u0259liydi ki,arx da\u011f\u0131lmas\u0131n-<\/span>
n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r i\u015f var\u0131yd\u0131;<\/span>
i\u015fl\u0259rdi atalar\u0131m\u0131z k\u00f6yn\u0259kl\u0259ri \u015for ba\u011flayanacan,<\/span>
biz d\u0259 balaca yan\u00e7\u0131lar,k\u00f6m\u0259k\u00e7il\u0259r;<\/span>
sanki b\u0259z\u0259n onlar\u0131n \u0259l-aya\u011f\u0131na dola\u015fma\u011f\u0131m\u0131z da<\/span>
bir k\u00f6m\u0259kiydi onlara…<\/span>
4<\/span>
B\u0259li,n\u0259 etdiyimizi \u00e7ox vaxt bilm\u0259d\u0259n<\/span>
bir \u015feyl\u0259r edirdik amma…<\/span>
g\u0259lir\u0259m ot bi\u00e7inin\u0259;<\/span>
d\u0259rgezi \u00fclg\u00fcc kimi t\u00fck aparmal\u0131yd\u0131 d\u0259rgez\u00e7inin;<\/span>
yeg\u0259,b\u00fcl\u00f6v,\u00e7axmaq,\u00e7\u0259kic-sindan ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131nda…<\/span>
qollar\u0131 geni\u015f a\u00e7araq<\/span>
v\u0259r a\u00e7maq<\/span>
\u00e7\u00f6r\u0259y\u0259,suya-ruzuya qucaq a\u00e7ma\u011f\u0131yd\u0131 ,\u0259slind\u0259…<\/span>
ke\u00e7ir xatirimd\u0259n xalvar da\u015f\u0131maq:<\/span>
b\u0259nd\u0259m h\u00f6r\u00fcb d\u0259rz ba\u011flamaq g\u0259r\u0259kiydi bir b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u00fckd\u0259,<\/span>
bir s\u0259liq\u0259-sahmanda-<\/span>
sonra da xalvarlamaq onlar\u0131 q\u0259r\u0259t\u0259 verm\u0259m\u0259k \u015f\u0259rtil\u0259,<\/span>
hamarat yer\u0259 y\u0131\u011f\u0131lmal\u0131yd\u0131 ata-ula\u011fa \u00e7atmaq asan olsun dey\u0259…<\/span>
ot \u00e7ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z sah\u0259d\u0259<\/span>
ilan qab\u0131\u011f\u0131na rast g\u0259ldim ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259;<\/span>
ilan \u00f6z uzunlu\u011funda qab\u0131q buraxard\u0131 yerd\u0259,<\/span>
and\u0131r\u0131n qab\u0131\u011f\u0131 da z\u0259hmliydi,adam s\u0259hm\u0259kl\u0259n\u0259rdi;<\/span>
kim\u0259 ilan dey\u0259 bil\u0259rs\u0259n,<\/span>
amma kim ilan kimi qab\u0131q qoymay\u0131b h\u0259yat\u0131nda-<\/span>
g\u00f6r a…<\/span>
5<\/span>
Lampa i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda<\/span>
oxudu\u011fum na\u011f\u0131l,dastan,\u015feir kitablar\u0131n\u0131n<\/span>
sanki sehirli bir q\u00fcvv\u0259 kimi<\/span>
m\u0259ni \u0259hat\u0259 etdikl\u0259rini san\u0131rd\u0131m…<\/span>
H\u0259r s\u0259sin,s\u00f6z\u00fcn<\/span>
\u00f6z\u0259l bir c\u0259h\u0259ti varm\u0131\u015ft\u0259k<\/span>
ruhumda,q\u0259lbimd\u0259 silinm\u0259z izi qal\u0131rd\u0131…<\/span>
Na\u011f\u0131llar…biri var idi,biri yox idi-<\/span>
ba\u015flan\u011f\u0131cd\u0131,ilkdi,t\u0259m\u0259liydi,<\/span>
zaman\u0131n sonsuzlu\u011funa,<\/span>
m\u0259kan n\u0259hay\u0259tsizliyin\u0259 bir i\u015far\u0259ydi h\u0259m d\u0259…<\/span>
D\u0259rinliyin\u0259 varammad\u0131\u011f\u0131m sirl\u0259r al\u0259mind\u0259<\/span>
sanki ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m ger\u00e7\u0259k h\u0259yata daxil olur,<\/span>
h\u0259y\u0259canlan\u0131r,<\/span>
t\u0259la\u015f ke\u00e7irir,<\/span>
bir qorxu duyurdum…<\/span>
G\u00f6yd\u0259n d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n \u00fc\u00e7 alman\u0131n<\/span>
bir adama aidliyi<\/span>
n\u0259 dem\u0259kiydi:u\u015faql\u0131q,g\u0259nclik,ah\u0131ll\u0131q b\u0259lk\u0259…<\/span>
v\u0259 na\u011f\u0131l bitirdi<\/span>
bir \u00f6m\u00fcr bit\u0259r kimi…<\/span>
Lampa i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 gah g\u00fccl\u0259nir,gah \u00f6l\u0259ziyirdi,<\/span>
el\u0259 bil ki,<\/span>
d\u00fcnya i\u015fl\u0259rinin<\/span>
oxuduqlar\u0131ma bir ba\u015fa d\u0259xli var\u0131yd\u0131,<\/span>
y\u0259ni sevincli bir \u0259vv\u0259li,<\/span>
k\u0259d\u0259rli bir ax\u0131r\u0131 var\u0131yd\u0131…<\/span><\/p>\n

Yaz\u0131ya 987 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

***bir T\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcmdola\u015f\u0131b k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259riham\u0131n\u0131 xo\u015fhal ed\u0259r,k\u00f6n\u00fcl g\u00fcld\u00fcr\u0259r.bir \u0130\u015f\u0131q qaranl\u0131qlar i\u00e7ind\u0259\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 x\u0259yallar qurar…tan\u0131y\u0131b-bildiyim bir N\u0259f\u0259sgedir-g\u0259lir,yeni N\u0259f\u0259sl\u0259rl\u0259o da t\u0259z\u0259l\u0259nir el\u0259 bil…bir S\u0259s\u00e7a\u015f\u0131b qal\u0131b yollarda;h\u0259r t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259 s\u0259ssizlik…***\u015eeir yazanda-bu andag\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcn aya\u011f\u0131m\u0131n alt\u0131nda n\u0259 var-havadan as\u0131l\u0131 qallam…\u015feir yazandasan\u0131ramb\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcnahlardan ar\u0131n\u0131ram.\u015eeir yazandaqar\u0131\u015fqalar \u00fcst\u00fcm\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r,boynuma minir.qan\u0131m\u0131 soranlar,arxay\u0131n olun,aln\u0131ma k\u00f6z yap\u0131\u015fd\u0131r\u0131n,dizimin k\u00fcnd\u0259sini q\u0131r\u0131nm\u0259n \u015feir yazanda…***\u0259lim bir \u0259l\u0259,g\u00f6z\u00fcm bir g\u00f6z\u0259,s\u00f6z\u00fcm bir s\u00f6z\u0259d\u0259ym\u0259yinc\u0259,toxunmay\u0131ncat\u0259nhayam,t\u0259k\u0259m m\u0259noca\u011f\u0131m oca\u011f\u0131ndan […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1,15,3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11439"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11439"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11439\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11441,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11439\/revisions\/11441"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11439"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11439"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11439"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}