{"id":12786,"date":"2019-06-25T16:52:16","date_gmt":"2019-06-25T11:52:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=12786"},"modified":"2019-06-25T16:52:16","modified_gmt":"2019-06-25T11:52:16","slug":"%c9%99s%c9%99d-cahangir-ozunud%c9%99rk-esse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=12786","title":{"rendered":"\u018fs\u0259d Cahangir – “\u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fcd\u0259rk” (esse)"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"esed\"<\/a>G\u0259nclik ya\u015flar\u0131mdan indiy\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn “qeyri-adi yadda\u015f\u201d\u0131mla \u0259trafdak\u0131lar\u0131 heyr\u0259tl\u0259ndirmi\u015f\u0259m. Kim\u0259s\u0259 botanika d\u0259rsliyind\u0259n yad\u0131mda qalan “m\u0259rcangil\u0259 v\u0259 qaragil\u0259 iyirmi be\u015f illik bitkidir\u201d s\u00f6zl\u0259rini dey\u0259nd\u0259, kim\u0259s\u0259 Nizami G\u0259nc\u0259vi haqq\u0131nda on il \u00f6nc\u0259ki fikrini xat\u0131rladanda, kim\u0259s\u0259 hans\u0131sa hind filmi q\u0259hr\u0259man\u0131, yaxud Norve\u00e7 u\u015faq yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n dil\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tin yatan ad\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yl\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259… bir qayda olaraq \u2013 “S\u0259nin n\u0259 g\u00fccl\u00fc yadda\u015f\u0131n var!!!\u201d, \u2013 dey\u0259 heyr\u0259tl\u0259nibl\u0259r.<\/strong><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n
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\u00a0V\u0259 h\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 bu s\u00f6zl\u0259ri e\u015fid\u0259nd\u0259 m\u0259n onlardan da \u00e7ox heyr\u0259tl\u0259nmi\u015f\u0259m. \u00c7\u00fcnki \u00f6z\u00fcm \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc ba\u015fqalar\u0131ndan daha yax\u015f\u0131 tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan bilir\u0259m ki, g\u00fccl\u00fcs\u00fc bir yana, he\u00e7 adi yadda\u015f\u0131m da yoxdur. \u00c7antan\u0131 metroda, kitab\u0131 bankda, a\u00e7arlar\u0131 ma\u011fazada, cib telefonunu taksid\u0259 unuda bil\u0259r\u0259m. \u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259 bu indinin s\u00f6hb\u0259ti deyil, u\u015faql\u0131qdan bel\u0259dir, y\u0259ni ya\u015f\u0131n g\u0259tirdiyi yox, fitri bir \u015feydir. Daim \u00f6z daxili al\u0259miml\u0259 \u00fcnsiyy\u0259td\u0259, i\u00e7imd\u0259ki “m\u0259n\u201dl\u0259 dialoqdayam, psixoanaliz terminl\u0259ri il\u0259 des\u0259m, introvert\u0259m. V\u0259 bu x\u00fcsusiyy\u0259timl\u0259 fikri daim k\u0259narda olan, gec\u0259-g\u00fcnd\u00fcz ba\u015fqalar\u0131n\u0131 m\u00fc\u015fahid\u0259 ed\u0259nl\u0259r \u2013 ekstravertl\u0259r i\u00e7ind\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc t\u0259nha hiss edir\u0259m.<\/div>\n
\u00a0\u00c7ox-\u00e7ox ill\u0259r \u00f6nc\u0259, yeniyetm\u0259 ya\u015flar\u0131mda J\u00fcl Vernin “Kapitan Qrant\u0131n u\u015faqlar\u0131\u201d roman\u0131nda co\u011frafiya\u015f\u00fcnas Jak Paqanel obraz\u0131yla tan\u0131\u015fl\u0131qdan sonra g\u00f6rd\u00fcm ki, bu c\u0259h\u0259td\u0259n n\u0259inki t\u0259k deyil\u0259m, bel\u0259l\u0259ri aras\u0131nda h\u0259tta m\u0259\u015fhur aliml\u0259r d\u0259 olub. Tofiq Bayram\u0131n \u015fair dostu \u018fli K\u0259rim\u0259 h\u0259sr etdiyi \u015feird\u0259n a\u015fa\u011f\u0131dak\u0131 misralar\u0131 oxuyanda is\u0259 \u0259m\u0259lli-ba\u015fl\u0131 m\u0259mnun oldum:<\/div>\n
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\u00a0Evinin \u00fcnvan\u0131n\u0131,<\/i><\/div>\n
\u00a0K\u00fc\u00e7\u0259sinin ad\u0131n\u0131,<\/span><\/div>\n
\u00a0\u00c7\u00f6r\u0259yin qiym\u0259tini<\/span><\/div>\n
\u00a0Unudard\u0131 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259.<\/span><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
\u00a0Bu art\u0131q frans\u0131z fantast\u0131n\u0131n yaratd\u0131\u011f\u0131 b\u0259dii obraz deyil, “Qaytar ana borcunu\u201d, “Da\u015f\u201d, “\u0130ki m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t\u201d, “Qay\u0131t\u201d v\u0259 dig\u0259r sevil\u0259n \u015feirl\u0259rin m\u00fc\u0259llifi olan \u015fair \u2013 ger\u00e7\u0259k insan idi.<\/div>\n
\u00a0D\u00fczd\u00fcr, m\u0259nim yadda\u015f\u0131m he\u00e7 vaxt evimin \u00fcnvan\u0131, k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259min ad\u0131, \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259yin qiym\u0259tini unudacaq q\u0259d\u0259r z\u0259if olmay\u0131b, amma h\u0259r halda g\u00fccl\u00fc d\u0259 deyil. B\u0259s, onda adamlar\u0131n yadda\u015f\u0131mla ba\u011fl\u0131 ne\u00e7\u0259 ill\u0259rdir davam ed\u0259n silsil\u0259 heyr\u0259tl\u0259rini hara qoyaq? Qoy, bunun biri, ikisi, \u00fc\u00e7\u00fc yan\u0131ls\u0131n, onlarla, y\u00fczl\u0259rl\u0259 adam s\u0259hv ed\u0259 bilm\u0259z, ax\u0131.<\/div>\n
\u00a0\u00c7ox d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259nd\u0259n sonra bu suala cavab tapd\u0131m. M\u0259n bir maksimalist kimi \u0259n \u00f6n\u0259mli m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259ni \u2013 mahiyy\u0259ti, bir d\u0259 \u0259n \u00f6n\u0259msiz detallar\u0131 yadda saxlay\u0131ram, y\u0259ni bir bu ba\u015f\u0131, bir d\u0259 o ba\u015f\u0131. Bu iki q\u00fctb\u00fcn aras\u0131nda olanlara y\u00f6n\u0259l\u0259n v\u0259 ham\u0131ya m\u0259xsus normativ yadda\u015f\u0131n m\u0259nd\u0259ki z\u0259ifliyi d\u0259, ola bilsin ki, bu \u00fczd\u0259ndir. T\u0259r\u0259zinin bir g\u00f6z\u00fc qalxanda o biri g\u00f6z\u00fc enir. Bu, \u0259dal\u0259tin q\u0131z\u0131l qanunudur.<\/div>\n
\u00a0Amma yadda\u015f\u0131m\u0131n nec\u0259 olmas\u0131ndan as\u0131l\u0131 olmayaraq, be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131mdan \u00fcz\u00fc b\u0259ri h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131n \u0259n vacib m\u0259qamlar\u0131, el\u0259c\u0259 d\u0259 Allaha m\u00fcnasib\u0259tim \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn b\u00fct\u00fcn ziqzaqlar\u0131, g\u00f6zl\u0259nilm\u0259z d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fl\u0259ri, s\u0259rt d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259l\u0259ri, bir s\u00f6zl\u0259, k\u00fcll\u00fc xronotopu il\u0259 d\u0259qiq yad\u0131mdad\u0131r. Allaha m\u00fcnasib\u0259t h\u0259yat\u0131n mahiyy\u0259tidir v\u0259 bu y\u00f6nd\u0259n yadda\u015f\u0131m\u0131n g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u0259 \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259m yoxdur. \u00c7\u00fcnki Allah insan\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259, \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259, ruhundad\u0131r v\u0259 m\u0259nim diqq\u0259tim \u00f6mr\u00fcm boyu i\u00e7im\u0259, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259, ruhuma y\u00f6n\u0259lib. Bu, xudbinlik, eqosentrizm deyil, sad\u0259c\u0259 olaraq, xudbinlikd\u0259n, eqosentrizimd\u0259n ke\u00e7ib ged\u0259n yoldur.<\/div>\n
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\u00a0***<\/span><\/div>\n
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\u00a0Allaha inam\u0131n (v\u0259 ya inams\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n!) inki\u015faf yolu bax\u0131m\u0131ndan insanlar\u0131 d\u00f6rd \u0259sas qism\u0259 b\u00f6lm\u0259k olar:<\/div>\n
\u00a0\u0259vv\u0259ld\u0259n ax\u0131racan inananlar;<\/i><\/div>\n
\u00a0\u0259vv\u0259ld\u0259n ax\u0131racan inanmayanlar;<\/span><\/div>\n
\u00a0\u0259vv\u0259l inan\u0131b, sonra inkar ed\u0259nl\u0259r;<\/span><\/div>\n
\u00a0\u0259vv\u0259l inkar edib, sonra inananlar.<\/span><\/div>\n
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\u00a0\u0130lk iki kateqoriya adamlar\u0131n Allaha m\u00fcnasib\u0259ti statikdir. Bu m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rd\u0259 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t, d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259 v\u0259 inki\u015faf, y\u0259ni dinamizm v\u0259 dramatizm yoxdur.<\/div>\n
\u00a0Sonrak\u0131 iki kateqoriya adamlar\u0131n Allaha m\u00fcnasib\u0259ti is\u0259 dinamik v\u0259 dramatikdir. Bu dramatizm birincil\u0259rd\u0259 tragik sonluqla bitdiyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn faci\u0259, ikincil\u0259rd\u0259 is\u0259 “happy end\u201dl\u0259 qurtard\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn “komediya\u201d janr\u0131ndad\u0131r.<\/div>\n
Amma bu komediya, o komediyadan deyil, Dante komediyas\u0131d\u0131r, b\u0259\u015f\u0259ri yox, ilahi bir \u015feydir. Y\u0259ni burda s\u00f6hb\u0259t g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f do\u011furan komik situasiyalardan yox, finalda fikr\u0259n, m\u0259n\u0259n, ruh\u0259n Allaha, y\u0259ni \u00f6lm\u0259zliy\u0259 qovu\u015fmaqdan gedir. V\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcm yox, \u00f6lm\u0259zlik d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259si il\u0259 bitdiyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bu kateqoriya adamlar\u0131n Allaha m\u00fcnasib\u0259tinin janr\u0131n\u0131 \u015f\u0259rti olaraq “komediya\u201d kimi m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259nl\u0259\u015fdirm\u0259k olar.<\/div>\n
\u00a0M\u0259n sonuncu qisim adamlardanam, y\u0259ni danteist\u0259m. Y\u0259qin buna g\u00f6r\u0259 Renessans dahisinin “\u0130lahi komediya\u201d poemas\u0131 idraki inki\u015faf\u0131m, ruhi t\u0259kam\u00fcl\u00fcmd\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck rolu olan bir ne\u00e7\u0259 \u0259s\u0259rd\u0259n biridir.<\/div>\n
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\u00a0\u018fslind\u0259, m\u0259nim Allaha yana\u015fmam \u00fc\u00e7 d\u00f6n\u0259md\u0259n ke\u00e7ib. K\u00f6rp\u0259likd\u0259n, daha do\u011frusu, h\u0259yat\u0131mda ba\u015f ver\u0259nl\u0259ri xat\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m vaxtlardan Allaha inanm\u0131\u015f, sonra b\u0259zi amill\u0259rin t\u0259siri il\u0259 Onu inkar etmi\u015f v\u0259 sonucda yen\u0259 d\u0259 Ona iman g\u0259tirmi\u015f\u0259m. Bu d\u00f6n\u0259ml\u0259rd\u0259n birincisini tezis, ikincisini antitezis, \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc is\u0259 sintez adland\u0131rmaq olar.<\/div>\n
\u00a0Tezis m\u0259rh\u0259l\u0259m anam\u0131n t\u0259siri alt\u0131nda ke\u00e7ib v\u0259 o q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 uzun \u00e7\u0259km\u0259yib. T\u0259xmin\u0259n bir ne\u00e7\u0259 il…<\/div>\n
\u00a0\u0130lk bax\u0131\u015fdan adi, sad\u0259 k\u0259nd qad\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259siri ba\u011f\u0131\u015flayan, \u0259rin\u0259 ita\u0259tkar, \u00f6vladlar\u0131na f\u0259dakar anam\u0131n s\u0259liq\u0259-s\u0259hman\u0131na s\u00f6z ola bilm\u0259zdi. Bi\u015firdiyi yem\u0259kl\u0259rd\u0259n yox idi. Q\u0131z\u0131l \u0259ll\u0259ri vard\u0131 \u2013 qoyayd\u0131n yax\u015f\u0131 ip tovlas\u0131n, yun daras\u0131n, tikm\u0259l\u0259r tiksin. \u015eeiri, s\u0259n\u0259ti, x\u00fcsus\u0259n d\u0259 musiqini \u00e7ox sevirdi. Dinl\u0259diyim ilk musiqi onun laylalar\u0131 idi. \u015eeirl\u0259rimi ham\u0131dan \u00f6nc\u0259 ona oxuyur, g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin d\u0259rinliyind\u0259ki i\u015fart\u0131dan bilirdim ki, b\u0259y\u0259nib, yoxsa yox. Amma neyl\u0259y\u0259s\u0259n ki, yaz\u0131b-oxuma\u011f\u0131 bacarm\u0131rd\u0131. O, m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 ged\u0259n il m\u00fcharib\u0259 ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f, m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259ri c\u0259bh\u0259y\u0259 aparm\u0131\u015f, m\u0259kt\u0259bi ba\u011flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar v\u0259 anam da bir \u00e7ox ya\u015f\u0131dlar\u0131 kimi t\u0259hsilsiz qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/div>\n
\u00a0M\u00fcharib\u0259 qurtarandan sonra is\u0259 art\u0131q gec idi: atas\u0131zl\u0131q, erk\u0259n ail\u0259 h\u0259yat\u0131, g\u00fcz\u0259ran qay\u011f\u0131lar\u0131, ill\u0259rl\u0259 s\u00fcr\u0259n acl\u0131q ehtiyac\u0131n\u0131 yazda penc\u0259r y\u0131\u011fmaq, yayda ba\u015fa\u011fa getm\u0259kl\u0259 aradan qald\u0131rmaq c\u0259hdl\u0259ri… V\u0259 b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar tarixin \u0259n d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tli m\u00fcharib\u0259sind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015f bir \u00f6lk\u0259d\u0259ki a\u011flas\u0131\u011fmaz da\u011f\u0131nt\u0131lar fonunda ba\u015f vermi\u015fdi!<\/div>\n
\u00a0Davan\u0131n qanl\u0131-qadal\u0131 g\u00fcnl\u0259rind\u0259n birind\u0259, m\u00fc\u0259llimd\u0259n qorxa-qorxa ilk v\u0259 son d\u0259f\u0259 sinif ota\u011f\u0131na ayaq basan v\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck “A\u201d h\u0259rfind\u0259n ba\u015fqa he\u00e7 n\u0259 \u00f6yr\u0259n\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259n ar\u0131q, \u00fcrk\u0259k, qara\u015f\u0131n bir q\u0131zc\u0131\u011faz\u0131n a\u011fl\u0131na g\u0259lm\u0259zdi ki, n\u0259 az, n\u0259 \u00e7ox, d\u00fcz 40 il sonra onun m\u0259kt\u0259bli o\u011flu Hitlerl\u0259 Stalinin, fa\u015fizml\u0259 kommunizmin tarixi g\u00fcnah\u0131n\u0131 yuma\u011fa, \u0259lli ya\u015fl\u0131 anas\u0131na \u0259lifba \u00f6yr\u0259tm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015facaq.<\/div>\n
\u00a0O q\u0131zc\u0131\u011faz anam, o m\u0259kt\u0259bli is\u0259 m\u0259n idim v\u0259 bu ilk “pedaqoqluq\u201d c\u0259hdimin \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn d\u0259 bir tarixi vard\u0131… \u0130\u015f el\u0259 g\u0259tirdi ki, atam\u0131n r\u0259fd\u0259ki kitablar\u0131 aras\u0131ndan o d\u00f6vr\u00fcn m\u0259\u015fhur, sevil\u0259n yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131lar\u0131ndan Q\u0131lman \u0130lkinin “\u00d6mr\u00fcn o\u011flan \u00e7a\u011flar\u0131\u201d povestini g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb oxudum v\u0259 h\u0259r \u015fey d\u0259 el\u0259 o “ca\u011flar\u201ddan ba\u015flad\u0131. Q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 cildli bu kitabda sovet hakimiyy\u0259tinin ilk ill\u0259rind\u0259 ucqar k\u0259ndl\u0259rd\u0259n birin\u0259 g\u00f6nd\u0259ril\u0259n g\u0259nc m\u00fc\u0259llimin quldurlara qar\u015f\u0131 m\u00fcbariz\u0259si v\u0259 k\u00fctl\u0259vi savads\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n l\u0259\u011fvi u\u011frunda m\u00fccadil\u0259sind\u0259n s\u00f6z gedirdi.<\/div>\n
\u00a0Ayd\u0131nd\u0131r ki, bu povest bol\u015fevik partiyas\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6st\u0259ri\u015fl\u0259ri \u0259sas\u0131nda yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f adi, s\u0131radan bir sosrealizm \u00f6rn\u0259yi idi. Amma o vaxt m\u0259nim vur-tut on ya\u015f\u0131m vard\u0131 v\u0259 kitab m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u00fccl\u00fc t\u0259sir el\u0259mi\u015fdi ki, onu d\u00f6n\u0259-d\u00f6n\u0259 oxumaqdan doymur, bununla da t\u0259svir olunan hadis\u0259l\u0259rin i\u015ftirak\u00e7\u0131s\u0131na \u00e7evrilm\u0259yin qeyri-m\u00fcmk\u00fcnl\u00fcy\u00fcnd\u0259n do\u011fan bo\u015flu\u011fu doldurmaq ist\u0259yirdim. Y\u0259qin siz\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k, amma odu, budu, ta indinin \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259c\u0259n h\u0259r c\u00fcr t\u0259zah\u00fcr\u00fc il\u0259 birlikd\u0259 20-ci ill\u0259r\u0259 vur\u011funam: k\u00fctl\u0259vi savads\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n l\u0259\u011fvi, qad\u0131nlar\u0131n \u00e7adran\u0131 atmas\u0131, rabfaklar\u0131n, teatr d\u0259rn\u0259kl\u0259rinin a\u00e7\u0131lmas\u0131, komsomol\u00e7u \u015fairl\u0259rin Vladimir Mayakovski v\u0259 Demyan Bedn\u0131n\u0131n t\u0259siri il\u0259 tribun \u015feirl\u0259r yazmas\u0131, kollektivl\u0259\u015fm\u0259 u\u011frunda amans\u0131z m\u00fcbariz\u0259, qara me\u015fin penc\u0259kli, qorxubilm\u0259z \u00e7ekistl\u0259rin da\u011flara \u00e7\u0259kil\u0259n saqqall\u0131 quldurlara qar\u015f\u0131 d\u00f6y\u00fc\u015fl\u0259ri… Bir s\u00f6zl\u0259, \u0259sl sovet romantikas\u0131!<\/div>\n
\u00a0Amma povestin m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn s\u0131rf praktik m\u0259nas\u0131 da var idi. M\u00fc\u0259llif yaz\u0131rd\u0131 ki, sovet hakimiyy\u0259tinin ilk ill\u0259rind\u0259 t\u0259kc\u0259 savads\u0131z g\u0259ncl\u0259r yox, altm\u0131\u015f\u0131 ke\u00e7mi\u015f qocalar bel\u0259 inadkarl\u0131q hesab\u0131na \u0259lifban\u0131 \u00f6yr\u0259nirmi\u015fl\u0259r. Bu m\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 bir \u00fcmid verir, \u00fcr\u0259yimd\u0259 nikbin hissl\u0259r oyad\u0131r, m\u00fcmk\u00fcns\u00fcz\u00fc m\u00fcmk\u00fcn etm\u0259k arzusu do\u011fururdu.<\/div>\n
\u00a0H\u0259rd\u0259n dey\u0259nl\u0259r olur ki, niy\u0259 he\u00e7 yaz\u0131lar\u0131nda Markesin ad\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kmirs\u0259n, niy\u0259 filan yaz\u0131nda Kafkan\u0131 t\u0259nqid etmis\u0259n? Markes, \u0259lb\u0259tt\u0259 ki, b\u00f6y\u00fck yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131d\u0131r, Kafka is\u0259 h\u0259tta b\u0259dii d\u00fchad\u0131r. Amma m\u0259n ta u\u015faql\u0131qdan i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 m\u0259zmuna malik, oxucuya h\u0259yat e\u015fqi a\u015f\u0131layan, onda nikbin duy\u011fular oyadan kitablar\u0131 sevir\u0259m v\u0259 he\u00e7 indi d\u0259 b\u0259dii \u0259s\u0259r\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259tim bu bax\u0131mdan d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259yib. M\u0259nc\u0259, \u0259d\u0259biyyat h\u0259r \u015feyi oxucunun \u0259lind\u0259n ala bil\u0259r, amma \u00fcmidi alma\u011fa onun ixtiyar\u0131 yoxdur. Markes d\u0259, Kafka da b\u0259dbin, \u00fcmidsiz yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131lard\u0131r v\u0259 bunun s\u0259b\u0259bi onlar\u0131n \u00f6z i\u00e7l\u0259rind\u0259ki ilahi z\u0259rr\u0259ni tapa bilm\u0259m\u0259sidir. \u0130nsan h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131n \u0259sas m\u0259nas\u0131 is\u0259 o z\u0259rr\u0259ni tapmaqd\u0131r. Bu axtar\u0131\u015f v\u0259 tap\u0131nt\u0131, lat\u0131nlar demi\u015fk\u0259n, Maqnum Opus, y\u0259ni \u0259sas i\u015fdir. \u018fg\u0259r bu i\u015fi g\u00f6r\u0259 bilm\u0259mis\u0259ns\u0259, ist\u0259r yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131 ol, ist\u0259r \u00e7\u0259km\u0259\u00e7i, f\u0259rq el\u0259m\u0259z, dem\u0259li, \u00f6z ba\u015fl\u0131ca h\u0259yati g\u00f6r\u0259vini yerin\u0259 yetirm\u0259mis\u0259n, dem\u0259li, bu d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259li\u015fin el\u0259-bel\u0259, bo\u015funa olub. Nec\u0259 dey\u0259rl\u0259r, ald\u0131m qoz, satd\u0131m qoz, m\u0259n\u0259 qald\u0131 \u015fax-\u015fax\u0131.<\/div>\n
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\u00a0\u0130ndi m\u0259n neyl\u0259yim ki, Markesin, Kafkan\u0131n, yaxud d\u00fcnyan\u0131n onlarla dig\u0259r b\u00f6y\u00fck yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n \u0259s\u0259rl\u0259rind\u0259 sad\u0259 bir k\u0259nd qad\u0131n\u0131na \u2013 anama agah olan ilahi bilgi, m\u0259rif\u0259t, qnozis yoxdur? Bu \u0259s\u0259rl\u0259rd\u0259 Tolstoy v\u0259 Dostoyevskid\u0259n f\u0259rqli olaraq dirilm\u0259 yoxdur, \u00f6l\u00fcm var. N\u0259simi v\u0259 F\u00fczulid\u0259n f\u0259rqli olaraq b\u0259qa yoxdur, f\u0259na var. Bu \u0259s\u0259rl\u0259rin m\u00fc\u0259llifl\u0259ri Platon kimi dirim yox, Aristotel kimi \u00f6l\u00fcm t\u00fct\u0259yi \u00e7al\u0131rlar. \u00c7\u00fcnki onlar ruhun varl\u0131\u011f\u0131na daxil\u0259n inanmay\u0131b, onun \u00f6lm\u0259zliyin\u0259 y\u0259qinlik hasil etm\u0259yibl\u0259r. \u00c7\u00fcnki onlar insan\u0131n mahiyy\u0259tini bilmir, \u00f6zl\u0259rini d\u0259rk etmirl\u0259r. B\u00fct\u00fcn b\u0259dii istedadlar\u0131na baxmayaraq, onlar\u0131n yazd\u0131qlar\u0131 mahiyy\u0259tc\u0259 h\u0259qiq\u0259t yox, yaland\u0131r. Bir s\u00f6zl\u0259, onlar Maqnum Opusu \u00e7\u00f6z\u0259 bilm\u0259yibl\u0259r.<\/div>\n
\u00a0Nonsens! \u0130ndi bel\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r ki, b\u0259dbin Markesin, d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcn Kafkan\u0131n d\u0259rk ed\u0259 bilm\u0259diyi h\u0259qiq\u0259ti nikbin Q\u0131lman \u0130lkin tap\u0131b? Yox, Q\u0131lman \u0130lkinin nikbinliyi kommunizmin i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yin\u0259 olan saxta inamdan do\u011furdu. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 saxta idi ki, bu inam onun i\u00e7ind\u0259n yox, “Kommunist Partiyas\u0131n\u0131n manifesti\u201dnd\u0259n g\u0259lirdi. Bu inam onun ruhundan do\u011fulmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131 v\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcd\u0259rki il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 deyildi. \u018fn ba\u015fl\u0131cas\u0131 is\u0259 onun h\u0259qiq\u0259ti yalan idi.<\/div>\n
\u00a0Amma b\u00fct\u00fcn bu estetik v\u0259 ideoloji m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259l\u0259r on ya\u015fl\u0131 m\u0259kt\u0259bliy\u0259, y\u0259ni m\u0259n\u0259 o vaxtlar h\u0259l\u0259 ayd\u0131n ola bilm\u0259zdi. M\u0259nim Allaha kort\u0259bii iman\u0131m sovet yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n bol\u015fevik inam\u0131 il\u0259 el\u0259 qaynay\u0131b-qar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, bunlar\u0131 saf-\u00e7\u00fcr\u00fck el\u0259m\u0259y\u0259, ununu bir, d\u0259nini bir yana ay\u0131rma\u011fa intellektual g\u00fcc\u00fcm \u00e7atmazd\u0131.<\/div>\n
\u00a0\u00d6z\u00fcm q\u0259zetd\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r q\u0259zet\u0259, kitab\u0131m \u00e7\u0131xana q\u0259d\u0259r kitaba \u00fcr\u0259kd\u0259n inanm\u0131\u015fam. Uzun ill\u0259r m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lib ki, q\u0259zetd\u0259, kitabda yaz\u0131lanlar\u0131 m\u0259l\u0259kl\u0259r qanad\u0131nda, ya da qu\u015flar dimdiyind\u0259 Allah\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn h\u00fczurundan g\u0259tiribl\u0259r v\u0259 onlar yalan ola bilm\u0259z. Kitab m\u00fcq\u0259dd\u0259sdir, yaz\u0131ya pozu yoxdur!<\/div>\n
Odur ki, Q\u0131lman \u0130lkinin kitab\u0131ndan h\u0259v\u0259s\u0259 g\u0259lib, bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 anama \u0259lifba \u00f6yr\u0259tm\u0259k ist\u0259dim. Amma h\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259sind\u0259 u\u011fursuzluqla \u00fczl\u0259\u015fdiyimd\u0259n \u00f6z pedaqoji m\u0259\u011flubiyy\u0259timl\u0259 bar\u0131\u015fmaqdan ba\u015fqa \u00e7ar\u0259m qalmad\u0131. M\u00fc\u0259llimlik sevdamdan \u0259l \u00e7\u0259kdim.<\/div>\n
\u00a0Amma m\u0259ni m\u0259yus ed\u0259n bu hadis\u0259 izsiz d\u0259 \u00f6t\u00fc\u015fm\u0259di \u2013 kitaba olan sars\u0131lmaz inam\u0131ma n\u00f6qt\u0259 boyda bir xal d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Dem\u0259k, kitablar yalan da yaza bil\u0259r!<\/div>\n
\u00a0\u0130nam m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259sind\u0259ki daxili dram\u0131m da \u00fcr\u0259yim\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n bu d\u00fcy\u00fcn n\u00f6qt\u0259sind\u0259n ba\u015flad\u0131, b\u00fct\u00fcn sonrak\u0131 h\u0259qiq\u0259tl\u0259rim bu \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259d\u0259n do\u011fdu.<\/div>\n
\u00a0Yaln\u0131z ill\u0259r ke\u00e7\u0259nd\u0259n sonra ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm ki, daxili t\u0259b\u0259dd\u00fclat\u0131m m\u0259ntiqi v\u0259 qanunauy\u011fun imi\u015f. Haqq\u0131n kitab\u0131na iman g\u0259tirm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ist\u0259nil\u0259n bir insan\u0131n, x\u00fcsus\u0259n d\u0259 sovet yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n kitab\u0131na olan etiqad\u0131m sars\u0131lmal\u0131ym\u0131\u015f. O etiqad idrak\u0131m\u0131n o\u011flan \u00e7a\u011flar\u0131 il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131ym\u0131\u015f v\u0259 m\u0259n o m\u0259rh\u0259l\u0259ni gerid\u0259 qoyub, yetkin d\u00f6vr\u0259 \u00e7atmal\u0131, orijinal\u0131 tapmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn sur\u0259ti atmal\u0131ym\u0131\u015fam.<\/div>\n
\u00a0\u0130ndi xiff\u0259tini \u00e7\u0259kdiyim, yadda\u015f\u0131mda \u0259b\u0259di bahar kimi qalm\u0131\u015f o unudulmaz g\u00fcnl\u0259r\u0259, qay\u011f\u0131s\u0131z u\u015faql\u0131q \u00e7a\u011flar\u0131na sonralar fikr\u0259n bir d\u0259 d\u00f6nd\u00fcm. Anam\u0131n ruhi-m\u0259n\u0259vi inki\u015faf yolu, h\u0259yat\u0131, taleyini ara\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131m. Ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm ki, \u0259lifba \u00f6yr\u0259tm\u0259k m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259sind\u0259ki u\u011fursuzluq on ya\u015fl\u0131 u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n pedaqoji t\u0259cr\u00fcb\u0259sizliyi, \u0259lli ya\u015fl\u0131 qad\u0131n\u0131n bacar\u0131qs\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131, yaxud sovet yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n qeyri-s\u0259mimiliyi il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 deyilmi\u015f. Bu el\u0259 bel\u0259 d\u0259 olmal\u0131ym\u0131\u015f. Bir vaxtlar anam\u0131 m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 getm\u0259y\u0259 qoymayan q\u00fcvv\u0259 onu ateist-materialist sovet t\u0259hsil sisteminin z\u0259r\u0259rli t\u0259sirind\u0259n qoruyurmu\u015f ki, ill\u0259r sonra Allah\u0131n ona ver\u0259c\u0259yi ilahi bilgini q\u0259bul etm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn beyni h\u0259r c\u00fcr materialist xurafatdan uzaq, q\u0259lbi h\u0259r c\u00fcr ateist m\u00f6vhumatdan t\u0259miz olsun. Sovet m\u0259kt\u0259bin\u0259 getm\u0259k anama yasaq imi\u015f, \u00e7\u00fcnki o ilahi universitetin m\u00fcdavimi olmal\u0131ym\u0131\u015f.<\/div>\n
\u00a0M\u0259nim ona yaz\u0131b-oxumaq \u00f6yr\u0259tm\u0259k e\u015fqin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fcm 70-ci ill\u0259rin sonunda is\u0259 yerin-g\u00f6y\u00fcn sirrin\u0259 vaqif olan bu qad\u0131n\u0131n rus \u0259lifbas\u0131na sad\u0259c\u0259 olaraq ehtiyac\u0131 yox imi\u015f…<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n

Yaz\u0131ya 532 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

G\u0259nclik ya\u015flar\u0131mdan indiy\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn “qeyri-adi yadda\u015f\u201d\u0131mla \u0259trafdak\u0131lar\u0131 heyr\u0259tl\u0259ndirmi\u015f\u0259m. Kim\u0259s\u0259 botanika d\u0259rsliyind\u0259n yad\u0131mda qalan “m\u0259rcangil\u0259 v\u0259 qaragil\u0259 iyirmi be\u015f illik bitkidir\u201d s\u00f6zl\u0259rini dey\u0259nd\u0259, kim\u0259s\u0259 Nizami G\u0259nc\u0259vi haqq\u0131nda on il \u00f6nc\u0259ki fikrini xat\u0131rladanda, kim\u0259s\u0259 hans\u0131sa hind filmi q\u0259hr\u0259man\u0131, yaxud Norve\u00e7 u\u015faq yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n dil\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tin yatan ad\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yl\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259… bir qayda olaraq \u2013 “S\u0259nin n\u0259 g\u00fccl\u00fc yadda\u015f\u0131n var!!!\u201d, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16,3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12786"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12786"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12786\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12797,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12786\/revisions\/12797"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12786"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12786"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12786"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}