{"id":12934,"date":"2019-09-09T17:09:55","date_gmt":"2019-09-09T12:09:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=12934"},"modified":"2019-09-09T17:09:55","modified_gmt":"2019-09-09T12:09:55","slug":"daha-m%c9%99n%c9%99-%c9%99mi-dey%c9%99n-olmayacaq","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=12934","title":{"rendered":"“Daha m\u0259n\u0259 \u0259mi dey\u0259n olmayacaq…”"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"sahin\"<\/a>(Dostum, qarda\u015f\u0131m, polis zabiti \u00a0\u015eahin N\u0259sirovun \u0259ziz xatir\u0259sin\u0259… )<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
S\u0259nin haqq\u0131nda t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcratlar\u0131m\u0131 yazark\u0259n c\u00fcml\u0259nin zaman\u0131n\u0131 ke\u00e7mi\u015fd\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259 bilmir\u0259m.\u00a0 B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 ke\u00e7mi\u015f hadis\u0259l\u0259r o zaman n\u0259ql olunur ki,\u00a0 onun g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kd\u0259 t\u0259krarlanmas\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259nilmir.<\/div>\n
\u00a0Bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259d\u0259 zaman\u0131n ke\u00e7mi\u015fliyin\u0259 inanmaq olmur.\u00a0 Ax\u0131 o xo\u015f anlar \u0259n \u00e7ox arzu etdiyin, ox\u015far\u0131n\u0131 bir daha ya\u015famaq ist\u0259dikl\u0259rindi…<\/div>\n
Onunla\u00a0 ke\u00e7irdiyim o q\u00fcrurlu g\u00fcnl\u0259ri xat\u0131rlad\u0131qca \u00fcr\u0259yim da\u011fa d\u00f6n\u00fcr. El\u0259 da\u011f c\u00fcss\u0259li,\u00a0 “k\u00f6hn\u0259”\u00a0 ki\u015fil\u0259ri xat\u0131rladan xarakteri, m\u0259rdliyi, f\u0259dakarl\u0131\u011f\u0131, ba\u015fqalar\u0131nda az tap\u0131lan t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcb hissi, qoruma ehtiras\u0131 il\u0259 q\u0259lbimd\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259\u00a0 m\u0259xsusi yer qazanan \u015eahinim!<\/div>\n
S\u0259ninl\u0259 ke\u00e7irdiyimiz o xo\u015fb\u0259xt g\u00fcnl\u0259r \u0259l\u00e7atmaz oldu?!.. Yox! \u0130nanm\u0131ram! S\u0259nin yoxlu\u011funu o zaman q\u0259bul ed\u0259r\u0259m ki, xatir\u0259l\u0259rin d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn kimi m\u0259ni yaln\u0131z buraxs\u0131n. Bilirs\u0259n ki,\u00a0 bu da m\u00fcmk\u00fcns\u00fczd\u00fcr.\u00a0 S\u0259ninl\u0259 nec\u0259 f\u0259xr etdiyimi, q\u00fcrur duydu\u011fumu s\u0259n\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259timd\u0259n bilirdin.\u00a0 S\u0259nin bir ist\u0259yin yet\u0259rdi ki, harda olma\u011f\u0131mdan as\u0131l\u0131 olmayaraq yan\u0131nda olma\u011fa,\u00a0 s\u0259nin o g\u00fcl\u0259n \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rm\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259lim.\u00a0 Bilir\u0259m qaqa, s\u0259n d\u0259 eyni hissl\u0259ri ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131n.\u00a0 S\u0259n\u0259 ehtiyac duydu\u011fumda yan\u0131mda olaca\u011f\u0131ndan o q\u0259d\u0259r \u0259min idim ki. M\u0259nim qarda\u015f\u0131m, g\u00fcv\u0259ndiyim, f\u0259aliyy\u0259tind\u0259n f\u0259r\u0259hl\u0259ndiyim, qanun ke\u015fiyind\u0259 olan ba\u015f leytenant\u0131m!<\/div>\n
S\u0259ni m\u0259n\u0259 ba\u011flayan qohumluq \u0259laq\u0259si yox, xarakterin idi, \u015eahinim! Aram\u0131zda ya\u015f f\u0259rqinin az olmas\u0131na r\u0259\u011fm\u0259n m\u0259n\u0259 “\u0259mi” deyirdin.\u00a0 O q\u0259d\u0259r s\u0259mimi, i\u00e7d\u0259n s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259rimiz olurdu ki, b\u0259z\u0259n qaqa, m\u0259n\u0259 \u0259mi dem\u0259 deyirdim. Biz dostuq, qarda\u015f\u0131q ax\u0131!\u00a0 S\u0259ns\u0259, yox ay \u0259mi, el\u0259 atam da s\u0259n\u0259 \u0259mi deyirdi d\u0259!\u00a0 U\u015faq vaxtlar\u0131ndan atam biz\u0259 demi\u015fdi ki, R\u00f6v\u015f\u0259n sizin \u0259minizdi.\u00a0 M\u0259n h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259 \u0259mi dey\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m!\u00a0 \u0130\u00e7imd\u0259 g\u00f6vr\u0259ls\u0259m d\u0259, hiss etdirm\u0259d\u0259n g\u00fcl\u00fcrdum. H\u0259m d\u0259 q\u00fcrur duyurdum; h\u0259m r\u0259hm\u0259tlik atan\u0131n s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 duydu\u011fun h\u00f6rm\u0259t\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, h\u0259m d\u0259 “\u0259mi” k\u0259lim\u0259sinin m\u0259nd\u0259 yaratd\u0131\u011f\u0131 o m\u00f6ht\u0259\u015f\u0259m hiss\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259. El\u0259 i\u00e7t\u0259n m\u00fcraci\u0259t edirdim ki,\u00a0 h\u0259r “\u0259mi” k\u0259lim\u0259nin qar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131nda o uca boynuna sar\u0131lmaq ist\u0259yirdim, \u015eahinim! Bilirs\u0259n qaqa, daha m\u0259n\u0259 \u0259mi dey\u0259n olmayacaq. S\u0259n yegan\u0259 idin! S\u0259n m\u0259n\u0259 qarda\u015fs\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131 unutduran\u0131m idin. S\u0259ni h\u0259r zaman m\u0259rd, haray\u0131ma ilk \u00e7atan g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m, s\u00f6zl\u0259rinl\u0259, h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rinl\u0259. Ay zal\u0131m, \u00fcr\u0259yim s\u0259ni ist\u0259yir, d\u00f6rd g\u00fcnd\u00fcr s\u0259sin\u0259 h\u0259sr\u0259t qoymusan m\u0259ni!..<\/div>\n
\u0130ndi s\u0259ninl\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131qlar\u0131m\u0131 xat\u0131rlay\u0131r, yaz\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 t\u0259krar-t\u0259krar oxuyuram. Yetmir, qarda\u015f! S\u0259sind\u0259ki o mehribanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 duymaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m. Yen\u0259 z\u0259ng etm\u0259ni,\u00a0 “h\u0259ft\u0259sonu Ehtiram\u0131 da g\u00f6t\u00fcr, g\u0259lin da\u011fa ged\u0259k, q\u0259\u015f\u0259ng qar ya\u011f\u0131b” dem\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 ehtiyac\u0131m var ki, \u015eahinim!\u00a0 Bilirs\u0259n, 29 martda Ehtiram z\u0259ng etdi ki,\u00a0 \u015eahinl\u0259 s\u0259ni yuxuda g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m. Harasa gedirdik, yol da s\u00fcr\u00fc\u015fk\u0259n idi. \u015eahin q\u0259fil ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131n s\u00fcr\u0259tini art\u0131rd\u0131, bizd\u0259n \u00e7ox uzaqla\u015fd\u0131, uzaqda durdu.\u00a0 Dedim, qaqa, niy\u0259 bel\u0259 edirs\u0259n?\u00a0 Biz\u0259 bax\u0131b g\u00fcl\u0259r\u0259k demis\u0259n ki, g\u00f6r\u00fcm m\u0259nsiz n\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259ksiniz…<\/div>\n
H\u0259min g\u00fcn Ehtiram s\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259 z\u0259ng vurub, dan\u0131\u015f\u0131b zarafatla\u015fm\u0131s\u0131z. Demis\u0259n, narahat olmay\u0131n qarda\u015flar, m\u0259n sizi yar\u0131 yolda buraxmaram. Ay zal\u0131m, b\u0259s niy\u0259 s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc tutmad\u0131n, niy\u0259 bizi \u00e7\u0131x\u0131lmaz yol ayr\u0131c\u0131nda burax\u0131b getdin?! \u0130ndi biz s\u0259nsizliy\u0259 nec\u0259 d\u00f6z\u0259k, \u015eahinim?! Nec\u0259 t\u0259s\u0259lli tapaq?!\u00a0 Ax\u0131 Bak\u0131ya yola \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259 niy\u0259 dem\u0259din, Bari “yollar s\u00fcr\u00fc\u015fk\u0259ndi, ehtiyatl\u0131 ol” dey\u0259rdim. S\u0259n d\u0259 m\u0259nim s\u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xmaz, \u00e7ox ehtiyatl\u0131 olard\u0131n. M\u0259n Yard\u0131ml\u0131ya g\u0259lm\u0259k niyy\u0259tin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n kimi s\u0259n\u0259 z\u0259ng edirdim, “qaqa, g\u0259lir\u0259m” deyirdim. S\u0259ns\u0259 b\u0259z\u0259n Masall\u0131ya q\u0259d\u0259r qaba\u011f\u0131ma g\u0259lirdin. Nec\u0259 xo\u015f idi, s\u0259ni o formada g\u00f6rm\u0259k; sad\u0259 v\u0259t\u0259nda\u015flar \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn daim g\u00fcl\u0259r\u00fcz, cinay\u0259tkar \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn amans\u0131z \u015eahinim!<\/div>\n
Az ya\u015f\u0131nla \u00fcz\u0259rin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n m\u0259suliyy\u0259ti s\u0259nd\u0259n yax\u015f\u0131 hiss ed\u0259n birisini g\u00f6rm\u0259dim m\u0259n.<\/div>\n
S\u0259n u\u015faqk\u0259n atas\u0131z b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259n qarda\u015flar\u0131na Ata idin, cavan ya\u015fda h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131n\u0131 itir\u0259n anaya t\u0259s\u0259lli yeri idin.\u00a0 H\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rinl\u0259 sevimli \u0259mimimizin ruhunu \u015fad ed\u0259n \u015f\u0259r\u0259fli o\u011ful idin! N\u0259 tez unutdun,\u00a0 \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259ki m\u0259suliyy\u0259ti?!..r<\/div>\n
S\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259rimiz zaman\u0131 b\u00f6y\u00fck qarda\u015f\u0131n Qeyr\u0259tin can\u0131na and i\u00e7m\u0259yin yet\u0259rdi ki, s\u0259nin h\u0259tta yalan s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 bel\u0259 inanaq. \u00c7\u00fcnki Qeyr\u0259t h\u0259kim\u0259 olan m\u00fcnasib\u0259tini, sevginin sonsuzlu\u011funu biz bilirdik. Bilirdik ki, onun can\u0131 s\u0259nin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn nec\u0259 qiym\u0259tlidir.<\/div>\n
\u0130ndi isti yay g\u00fcn\u00fcnd\u0259 Qeyr\u0259tin toyuna birlikd\u0259 getdiyimiz anlar yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr… Nec\u0259 h\u0259yacanl\u0131 idik, qaqa. Sevincimizd\u0259n Bak\u0131dan Yard\u0131ml\u0131ya q\u0259d\u0259r deyib, g\u00fcld\u00fck. S\u0259n i\u015finl\u0259 \u0259laq\u0259dar Bak\u0131ya g\u0259lmi\u015fdim h\u0259min g\u00fcn. Bu s\u0259b\u0259bd\u0259n toyun \u0259vv\u0259lki g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r b\u00fct\u00fcn i\u015fl\u0259ri qaydas\u0131na qoyub g\u0259ls\u0259n d\u0259, yol boyu dig\u0259r qarda\u015flar z\u0259ng edib, h\u0259tta hans\u0131 qona\u011f\u0131n hans\u0131 masada \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdirdikl\u0259rini s\u0259ninl\u0259 m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tl\u0259\u015f\u0259nd \u00fcr\u0259yim da\u011fa d\u00f6n\u00fcrd\u00fc. El\u0259 q\u0259\u015f\u0259ng, \u0259sl ev sahibin\u0259 xas yol g\u00f6st\u0259rirdi ki. V\u0259 sonda “Qonaqlar\u0131 qar\u015f\u0131lay\u0131n, yem\u0259kl\u0259rin\u0259 ciddi fikir verin, m\u0259n d\u0259 g\u0259lir\u0259m, az qald\u0131 deyirdin.”\u00a0 Qaqa, h\u0259l\u0259 S\u0259lyanday\u0131q e.. deyirdim. S\u0259ns\u0259 q\u0259h-q\u0259h\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kirdin ki, \u0259mi, qoy u\u015faqlar rahat olsunlar, h\u0259y\u0259canlanmas\u0131nlar deyirdin. S\u0259nin n\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck \u00fcr\u0259yin,\u00a0 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rin vard\u0131,\u00a0 ucaboylum! Dostlar\u0131m\u0131n, tan\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na q\u00fcrurla \u00e7\u0131xartd\u0131\u011f\u0131m qarda\u015f\u0131m! N\u0259 tez yoruldun, n\u0259 tez doydun ya\u015famaqdan, ay d\u00fcnya mal\u0131na g\u00f6z\u00fc tox \u015eahinim! Ax\u0131 s\u0259n ehtiyac\u0131m\u0131z vard\u0131! S\u0259n m\u0259nim v\u0259 dostlar\u0131min, el\u0259 s\u0259ni tan\u0131yan b\u00fct\u00fcn insanlar\u0131n sevimlisi idin! B\u0259s bu m\u0259suliyy\u0259ti niy\u0259 o enli k\u00fcr\u0259kl\u0259rind\u0259n atd\u0131n v\u0259 getdin?!\u00a0 Qarda\u015f, birlikd\u0259 o q\u0259d\u0259r arzular\u0131m\u0131z, m\u0259qs\u0259dl\u0259rimiz vard\u0131 ki. Akademiyan\u0131 bitirib n\u00f6vb\u0259ti m\u0259suliyy\u0259tli v\u0259zif\u0259nin icras\u0131na ba\u015flayacaqd\u0131n. Bunu s\u0259n\u0259 g\u00fcv\u0259n\u0259n, s\u0259ni daha da y\u00fcks\u0259k v\u0259zif\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 layiq g\u00f6r\u0259n r\u0259isl\u0259rin\u00a0 deyirdi. \u0130ndi onlar da inanmaz durumdad\u0131rlar. \u0130\u015f yolda\u015flar\u0131n yoxlu\u011funa inanm\u0131r, s\u0259nin sanki n\u00f6vb\u0259ti cinay\u0259t hadis\u0259l\u0259rini a\u015fkar\u00a0 etm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn harasa s\u0259f\u0259r etdiyini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrl\u0259r. Ax\u0131 biz nec\u0259 inanaq ki, bu d\u0259f\u0259 getdiyin yoldan geri d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fc m\u00fcmk\u00fcns\u00fcz etmis\u0259n?!<\/div>\n
\u015eahinim, s\u0259ni d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fckc\u0259 yazacaqlar\u0131m qal\u0131n- qal\u0131n kitablara \u00e7evril\u0259r… \u0130ndiys\u0259 davam ed\u0259 bilmir\u0259m. S\u0259sini ist\u0259yir\u0259m… G\u0259l, m\u0259n\u0259 ya\u015fatd\u0131\u011f\u0131n bu hissl\u0259r\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 cavab ver, zal\u0131m! Bel\u0259 ehtibars\u0131z olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 dem\u0259mi\u015fdim. “\u018fmi, h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259\u00a0 s\u0259nin arxandayam” deyirdin. Cans\u0131z b\u0259d\u0259nini \u00e7iynim\u0259 nec\u0259 qald\u0131r\u0131m, zal\u0131m, ax\u0131 q\u0259za x\u0259b\u0259rin belimi q\u0131r\u0131b!..<\/div>\n
\u0130ndi hissl\u0259rim qar\u0131\u015f\u0131q, beynim dumanl\u0131, \u00fcr\u0259yim\u0259 vurdu\u011fun da\u011f\u0131n \u015fidd\u0259tli a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131… A\u011flaya da bilmir\u0259m \u015eahinim! Bilirs\u0259n, s\u0259nin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn n\u0259 zaman\u00a0 rahat a\u011flaya bil\u0259c\u0259m?! S\u0259ninl\u0259 getdiyimiz yollar\u0131 t\u0259k ged\u0259nd\u0259… H\u0259, q\u0259fil yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n, sa\u011f yan\u0131ma baxaca\u011fam s\u0259nin orada olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fckd\u0259 a\u011flayaca\u011fam. Bax, s\u0259n\u0259 layiq h\u00f6nk\u00fcrm\u0259k nec\u0259 olur, o zaman g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n. Sol yan\u0131mdan is\u0259 he\u00e7 zaman \u0259skik olmayacaqsan!\u00a0 Qoruya bilm\u0259dik s\u0259ni, qarda\u015f?! Ehtiram yuxusunu \u00c7in etdin. Bizi atd\u0131b getdin. Bu gedi\u015f\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 s\u0259ni ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamayacagam \u015eahinim!..<\/div>\n
G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259yik!..<\/div>\n
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \"rovsen\"<\/a>\u00a0 R\u00f6v\u015f\u0259n H\u0259bibo\u011flu<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

Yaz\u0131ya 636 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(Dostum, qarda\u015f\u0131m, polis zabiti \u00a0\u015eahin N\u0259sirovun \u0259ziz xatir\u0259sin\u0259… ) S\u0259nin haqq\u0131nda t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcratlar\u0131m\u0131 yazark\u0259n c\u00fcml\u0259nin zaman\u0131n\u0131 ke\u00e7mi\u015fd\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259 bilmir\u0259m.\u00a0 B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 ke\u00e7mi\u015f hadis\u0259l\u0259r o zaman n\u0259ql olunur ki,\u00a0 onun g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kd\u0259 t\u0259krarlanmas\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259nilmir. \u00a0Bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259d\u0259 zaman\u0131n ke\u00e7mi\u015fliyin\u0259 inanmaq olmur.\u00a0 Ax\u0131 o xo\u015f anlar \u0259n \u00e7ox arzu etdiyin, ox\u015far\u0131n\u0131 bir daha ya\u015famaq ist\u0259dikl\u0259rindi… Onunla\u00a0 ke\u00e7irdiyim o q\u00fcrurlu g\u00fcnl\u0259ri […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12935,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16,30],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12934"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12934"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12934\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12937,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12934\/revisions\/12937"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/12935"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12934"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12934"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12934"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}