{"id":12961,"date":"2019-09-14T22:55:34","date_gmt":"2019-09-14T17:55:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=12961"},"modified":"2019-09-14T22:56:09","modified_gmt":"2019-09-14T17:56:09","slug":"qalib-s%c9%99fah%c9%99t-atilmaq","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=12961","title":{"rendered":"Qalib \u015e\u0259fah\u0259t – “ATILMAQ”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"FB_IMG_1568483423820\"<\/a>(hekay\u0259)<\/p>\n

Niy\u0259 m\u0259ni bu d\u00fcnyada t\u0259k-t\u0259nha qoyub getdin ata?… s\u0259n biziml\u0259 olsayd\u0131n onda anamla, qarda\u015f\u0131mla birg\u0259 olard\u0131q…<\/p>\n

Sanki havas\u0131zl\u0131qdan bo\u011fulacaqd\u0131… Pay\u0131z\u0131n s\u0259rinl\u0259\u015fm\u0259kd\u0259 olan il\u0131q havas\u0131n\u0131 doyunca ciy\u0259rl\u0259rin\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kdi. \u00c7oxdand\u0131r g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin h\u0259sr\u0259t qald\u0131\u011f\u0131 do\u011fma h\u0259y\u0259tin b\u00fct\u00fcn k\u00fcnc-buca\u011f\u0131na boyland\u0131…
\n\u00c7ox h\u00fcrk\u0259k, dal\u011f\u0131n bir g\u00f6rk\u0259m alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. El\u0259 bil kims\u0259 bu andaca arxas\u0131 il\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb onu qovacaqd\u0131. K\u0259nardan baxanda el\u0259 bilirdin ya harasa t\u0259l\u0259sir, ya da, q\u00fcrb\u0259t eld\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259n; – g\u0259lib \u00e7atmaqda olan \u0259n \u0259ziz adam\u0131n\u0131n yolun h\u0259sr\u0259tl\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259yir.
\nYetimin balas\u0131 s\u00f6z bilmirmi\u015f kimi, sakitc\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc k\u0259sdirib xeyli vaxt idi ki, q\u0131za tama\u015fa edirdi. Arada i\u00e7ini \u00e7\u0259kirdi, sanki q\u0131za n\u0259s\u0259 dem\u0259d\u0259n \u00e7\u0259kinirdi.
\nQ\u0131z\u0131n h\u0131\u00e7q\u0131rt\u0131s\u0131 onun icini g\u00f6y\u00fcm-g\u00f6y\u00fcm g\u00f6yn\u0259dirdi. \u0130\u00e7\u0259risind\u0259n ke\u00e7\u0259n a\u011fr\u0131 el\u0259 bilirdi, bu andaca onu q\u0131l\u0131nc kimi ikiy\u0259 b\u00f6l\u0259c\u0259kdi. \u201cBu n\u0259 hal\u0259tdi m\u0259n d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm?\u201d \u2013deyib d\u0259rind\u0259n ofuldand\u0131. \u2013 Of, uf-la el\u0259 bil icind\u0259ki a\u011fr\u0131-ac\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n bir anda olsa uzaqla\u015fd\u0131rma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131.
\nQ\u0131z sif\u0259tini ovcuna tutub i\u00e7in-i\u00e7in a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131. Sanki g\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131 ovcunda gizl\u0259tm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131.
\nEl\u0259 bil i\u00e7i kilidl\u0259nmi\u015fdi adam\u0131n. \u00d6z\u00fcnd\u0259 c\u0259sar\u0259t taplay\u0131b q\u0131zdan n\u0259s\u0259 soru\u015fma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. N\u0259h\u0259yy\u0259t, handan-hana dill\u0259ndi:
\n\u2013Niy\u0259 a\u011flay\u0131rsan, q\u0131z\u0131m? \u2013adam soru\u015fdu. \u2013Yad adam kimi, dan\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda bir k\u00f6vr\u0259klik, m\u0259sumluq hiss olunurdu.
\nQ\u0131z g\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131 gizl\u0259dirmi\u015f kimi \u0259ynind\u0259ki nimda\u015f koftan\u0131n sol qolu il\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sildi. Sonra burnunu \u00e7\u0259kdi. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 bir az qald\u0131r\u0131b g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn ucuyla o\u011frun-o\u011frun, \u00e7\u0259p\u0259rgi adam\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 baxd\u0131. Bir az da hikk\u0259 il\u0259 dill\u0259ndi:
\n\u2013\u0130tirilmi\u015f u\u015fa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 a\u011flay\u0131ram. Ba\u015fqa n\u0259yi a\u011flayas\u0131yam ki? \u2013Q\u0131z kinay\u0259 il\u0259 dedi.
\nAdam ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yer\u0259 dikdi, lal adam kimi, dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa c\u0259ht etm\u0259k ist\u0259mirdi. Xeyli t\u0259rdd\u00fcd\u0259n sonra q\u0131z yenid\u0259n s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc davam etdi.
\n\u2013Bilir\u0259m, he\u00e7 k\u0259s\u0259 onu tap\u0131b m\u0259n\u0259 g\u0259tirm\u0259k q\u00fcdr\u0259tind\u0259 deyil. Ill\u0259rin y\u0131\u011f\u0131l\u0131b saxlanc kimi saxlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u0259rd y\u00fck\u00fc h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259lik m\u0259n \u00e7iynimd\u0259dir. M\u0259n d\u0259 indid\u0259n bu d\u0259rdi \u00e7\u0259km\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00e7ox k\u00f6rp\u0259y\u0259m. Bax, ona g\u00f6r\u0259 a\u011flay\u0131ram.
\nAdam yen\u0259 d\u0259rind\u0259n ofuldand\u0131. Havas\u0131 \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmayan adam kimi d\u0259rind\u0259n n\u0259f\u0259s ald\u0131. El\u0259 bil nitqi qurumu\u015fdu. Dan\u0131\u015fa bilmirdi. \u00c7ox k\u00f6vr\u0259lib, m\u0259sum bir g\u00f6rk\u0259m alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bu g\u00f6rk\u0259mini he\u00e7 kimin g\u00f6rm\u0259sini ist\u0259m\u0259y\u0259n adam kimi xeyli sa\u011fa sola n\u0259z\u0259r yetirdi. \u018ftrafda q\u0131zdan savay\u0131 he\u00e7 kimin g\u00f6z\u0259 d\u0259ym\u0259diyini \u0259min olmu\u015f kimi bo\u011faz\u0131n\u0131 artlay\u0131b, ud\u011fundu. Diqq\u0259tini \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 c\u0259ml\u0259\u015fdirib dill\u0259ndi:
\n\u2013A\u011flalama q\u0131z\u0131m! -dedi. -Ons\u00fcz da bu d\u00fcnya s\u0259nin g\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131na d\u0259ym\u0259z, a\u011flama. S\u0259n k\u00f6rp\u0259s\u0259n! \u00c7ox k\u00f6rp\u0259s\u0259n! \u2013d\u0259rind\u0259n k\u00f6ks \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc davam etdi. \u2013Ehh, h\u0259yat s\u0259ni d\u0259 indid\u0259n imtahana \u00e7\u0259kdi.
\nQ\u0131z ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qald\u0131r\u0131b gah qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndak\u0131 adama madd\u0131m-mad\u0131m bax\u0131r, gah da g\u00f6zl\u0259rini yer\u0259 dikirdi. Doda\u011f\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131ndan m\u0131z\u0131ldana-m\u0131z\u0131ldan dedi:
\n\u2013H\u0259l\u0259 bir deyirs\u0259nd\u0259?
\nAdam dill\u0259nm\u0259di. Ortada d\u0259rin bir s\u00fckut h\u00f6km s\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fc. U\u015fa\u011f\u0131n bir az k\u00f6vr\u0259k, bir az da kinay\u0259li s\u0259si onu d\u0259rin x\u0259yaldan ay\u0131rd\u0131:
\n\u2013S\u0259n niy\u0259 bel\u0259 etdin ax\u0131?
\nDiqq\u0259tl\u0259 u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 s\u00fcz\u00fcrd\u00fc. Yen\u0259 dinm\u0259di. El\u0259 bil s\u0259si q\u0131r\u0131l\u0131b i\u00e7in\u0259 t\u00f6kulmu\u015fdu. S\u0259sizlik i\u00e7ind\u0259 bo\u011fulurdu. Arada v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xmaq u\u00e7un yen\u0259 ofuldan\u0131rd\u0131.
\nQ\u0131z onu diqq\u0259tl\u0259 s\u00fcz\u00fcb, hikk\u0259 il\u0259:
\n\u2013M\u0259n\u0259 bir \u015feyi anladacaqsan, yoxsa yox? \u2013dedi.
\n\u2013Bir az s\u0259br el\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131m. H\u0259r \u015feyd\u0259n hal\u0131 olacaqsan! \u2013dedi adam.
\n\u2013Ax\u0131, q\u0131z\u0131m dem\u0259y\u0259 nec\u0259 dilin g\u0259ldi?
\n\u2013N\u0259 deyirs\u0259ns\u0259 d\u00fcz deyirs\u0259n, m\u0259nim balam, s\u0259n haql\u0131san!
\n\u2013Niy\u0259 m\u0259ni g\u00f6z\u00fc ya\u015fl\u0131, q\u0259lbi s\u0131n\u0131q qoyub getdin? Niy\u0259? Niy\u0259? N\u0259ydi m\u0259nim g\u00fcnah\u0131m?
\nAdam yen\u0259 udqundu:
\n\u2013Eh, ay q\u0131z\u0131m, \u2013 dedi. \u2013 Onsuz da ham\u0131 m\u0259nim \u00fcst\u00fcm\u0259 \u00e7ox g\u0259lirdi. Ham\u0131 m\u0259niml\u0259 dir\u0259\u015firdi. Daha yorulmu\u015fdum. S\u0259n is\u0259 bir az s\u0259br el\u0259. S\u0259n safsan, h\u0259l\u0259 s\u0259nin q\u0259lbin \u00e7irikl\u0259nm\u0259yib. Q\u0259lbi t\u0259miz adam adam\u0131 d\u00fczg\u00fcn ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr. S\u0259ninl\u0259 rahat dan\u0131\u015fmaq olar.
\n\u2013Dem\u0259k, m\u0259nim u\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan, safl\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan istifad\u0259 edib m\u0259ni t\u0259rk etdin, el\u0259mi?! B\u0259s m\u0259nim u\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131ma nec\u0259 q\u0131ya bildin?
\nAdam g\u00fcnahkar kimi ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yer\u0259 dikib dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Q\u0131z\u0131n bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 diqq\u0259tl\u0259 ona s\u00fcz\u00fcrd\u00fc. O, adam\u0131 diq\u0259tl\u0259 s\u00fcz\u0259-s\u00fcz\u0259 s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc davam etdi.
\n\u2013B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 bel\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmaq rahatd\u0131. Amma m\u0259n h\u0259yatda rahat ya\u015faya bilmir\u0259m, rahat ola bilmir\u0259m. M\u0259n h\u0259r g\u00fcn \u00f6z g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fc, saat\u0131m\u0131 a\u011flay\u0131ram. H\u0259tta \u00f6zumd\u0259n ki\u00e7ik qarda\u015f\u0131ma bel\u0259 nifr\u0259t edir\u0259m. Bilirs\u0259n niy\u0259?
\n\u2013Niy\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131m?
\n\u2013 Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 ki, onun atas\u0131 var, niy\u0259 o, bel\u0259 \u0259zizl\u0259nir, m\u0259n \u0259zizl\u0259nmir\u0259m?! Ax\u0131 m\u0259n d\u0259 u\u015fa\u011fam? M\u0259n d\u0259 \u00f6z u\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 ya\u015famal\u0131yam, ya yox? \u018fksin\u0259, ham\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259 ba\u015fqa c\u00fcr bax\u0131r. Qula\u011f\u0131m e\u015fid\u0259-e\u015fid\u0259, \u201c bu \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc atan\u0131n q\u0131z\u0131d\u0131\u201d-deyirl\u0259r, Bu s\u00f6zd\u0259n he\u00e7 xo\u015fum g\u0259lmir, onda el\u0259 bilir\u0259m m\u0259ni s\u00f6y\u00fcrl\u0259r. H\u0259tta, anam da, \u201cox\u015fam\u0131\u015f getdi f\u0259rsiz atas\u0131na ox\u015fad\u0131\u201d. \u2013deyir. \u2013Ax\u0131, bu t\u0259hqirl\u0259ri m\u0259n nec\u0259 g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcm? Amma s\u0259nin haqq\u0131nda yax\u015f\u0131 fikirl\u0259\u015f\u0259nl\u0259r d\u0259, xo\u015f s\u00f6zl\u0259r dey\u0259nl\u0259r d\u0259 var. \u00d6z\u00fcn yax\u015f\u0131 bilirs\u0259n h\u0259yatda insana bir t\u0259r\u0259fli yana\u015fm\u0131rlar. H\u0259r\u0259nin \u00f6z bax\u0131\u015f buca\u011f\u0131 var. H\u0259r \u00f6z bax\u0131\u015f buca\u011f\u0131ndan bax\u0131r, olmu\u015flara, ke\u00e7mi\u015fl\u0259r\u0259 \u00f6z bax\u0131\u015f buca\u011f\u0131ndan qiym\u0259t verir.
\n\u2013H\u0259r \u015feyi d\u00fcz deyirs\u0259n m\u0259nim a\u011f\u0131ll\u0131 balam. S\u0259n h\u0259r \u015fey\u0259 \u00f6z d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259nd\u0259n bax\u0131b g\u00f6rs\u0259n yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131r.
\n\u2013Ax\u0131 m\u0259nim d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259m, m\u0259nim bax\u0131\u015f\u0131m \u00e7ox k\u00f6rp\u0259di, h\u0259yat\u0131n ke\u00e7m\u0259ke\u015fin\u0259 tab g\u0259tir\u0259 bilmir. M\u00fchit adam\u0131 s\u0131radan tez \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131r.
\nQ\u0131z dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131qca adam diiq\u0259tl\u0259 onu s\u00fcz\u00fcrd\u00fc. H\u0259r h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tin\u0259, h\u0259r duru\u015funa diqq\u0259t yetirirdi.
\nQ\u0131z s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc davam etdi:
\n\u2013\u018fvvlc\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259d\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259rim yox idi, h\u0259r bir \u015feyd\u0259n, el\u0259 s\u0259nd\u0259n d\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259rsiz idim. Fikirl\u0259\u015firdim, \u201cax\u0131, m\u0259n\u0259 niy\u0259 bel\u0259 deyirl\u0259r, m\u0259n n\u0259 g\u00fcnah i\u015fl\u0259tmi\u015f\u0259m\u201d. Sonra-sonra bilmi\u015f\u0259m ki, m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 n\u0259 yerd\u0259dir. Ondan sonra h\u0259r \u015fey\u0259 k\u0259nardan seyr etm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m. G\u00fcnahs\u0131z olmaya-olmaya \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc g\u00fcnahkar kimi hiss edirdim. S\u0259simi i\u00e7imd\u0259 bo\u011fma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Ba\u015fqa bir \u0259lac\u0131m yoxdu ki, onsuz da kimdi m\u0259nim s\u0259simi e\u015fid\u0259n. K\u0259nardan kims\u0259 m\u0259ni ya a\u00e7\u0131layacaq, ya da, bir atmaca at\u0131b ged\u0259c\u0259k. ke\u00e7\u0259c\u0259k.
\n\u2013Q\u0131z\u0131m, dem\u0259k bel\u0259; – anan \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259 s\u0259ni m\u0259nd\u0259n ald\u0131, sonra da, s\u0259ni \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n uzaqla\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131. S\u0259n indi n\u0259 m\u0259nims\u0259n n\u0259 d\u0259 ki, onun!?
\n\u2013Eh, daha m\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n ba\u015fqa he\u00e7 k\u0259sin deyil\u0259m, daha m\u0259nim he\u00e7 k\u0259sim yoxdu. \u00d6z\u00fcm \u00f6z t\u0259k v\u0259 t\u0259nhal\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 ya\u015fay\u0131ram. \u00c7\u00fcnki, m\u0259n ham\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yadam. M\u0259nim bu d\u00fcnyada do\u011fmam yoxdu ki…
\nQ\u0131z arxas\u0131yca d\u0259rind\u0259n ofuldan\u0131b s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc davam etdi:
\n\u2013 Bil\u0259n d\u0259 ki, ata dediyim \u00f6z do\u011fma atam deyil, atal\u0131\u011f\u0131md\u0131r, m\u0259nim yox qarda\u015f\u0131m\u0131n atas\u0131d\u0131r, o ancaq onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn do\u011fmad\u0131r, bax ondan sonra anlad\u0131m ki, daha anam da m\u0259n\u0259 bir k\u00f6yn\u0259k yadd\u0131r. Bunu onun h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rind\u0259 d\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcm.
\nAdam diqq\u0259tl\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131 dinl\u0259yirdi. Q\u0131z\u0131n s\u00f6hb\u0259tin\u0259 m\u00fcdaxil\u0259 etmirdi.
\nQ\u0131z:
\n\u2013Bilirs\u0259n n\u0259y\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 bel\u0259 deyir\u0259m? M\u0259nim qay\u011f\u0131ya ehtiyac\u0131m oldu\u011fu halda kimins\u0259 qay\u011f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kir\u0259m. M\u0259nim oyuncaqlarla oynayan vaxt\u0131md\u0131, amma m\u0259n oyuncaq \u0259v\u0259zi qarda\u015f\u0131m\u0131 oynad\u0131ram, qarda\u015f\u0131m\u0131 saxlay\u0131ram. Anam \u00f6z do\u011fdu\u011funu \u00fcst\u00fcm\u0259 at\u0131r, arxay\u0131n harasa gedib g\u0259lir. Vay o g\u00fcn\u0259 ki, u\u015faq bir balaca narahat ola, onda ba\u015f\u0131m qapazl\u0131 olur, \u00fcz\u00fcm t\u0259n\u0259li, g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fc g\u00f6y \u0259skiy\u0259 b\u00fck\u00fcr. S\u0259simi d\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xara bilmir\u0259m, a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7anda m\u0259ni d\u0259 s\u0259nin g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 qat\u0131b t\u0259hqir edir…
\nBirc\u0259 s\u0259nin vaxt\u0131 il\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 dediyin xo\u015f s\u00f6zl\u0259rinin, n\u0259vaz\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131n h\u0259sr\u0259ti il\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131ram. Arada fikirl\u0259\u015fir\u0259m,\u201cDem\u0259k m\u0259n d\u0259 n\u0259 vaxtsa xo\u015fb\u0259xt olmu\u015fam, m\u0259n d\u0259 xo\u015fb\u0259xtliyin dad\u0131n\u0131 dadm\u0131\u015fam\u201d-d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u0259m.
\nAdam yen\u0259 d\u0259rind\u0259n ofuldan\u0131b, ah, \u00e7\u0259kdi.
\n\u2013H\u0259, g\u00f6r\u00fcrs\u0259n ofuldan\u0131rsan, dan\u0131\u015fa bilmirs\u0259n. Dan\u0131\u015fsana? \u2013q\u0131z hirisl\u0259 dedi.
\n\u2013Eh, q\u0131z\u0131m he\u00e7 k\u0259sin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda yox, t\u0259kc\u0259 s\u0259nin qar\u015f\u0131nda g\u00fcnahkaram, ona g\u00f6r\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fa bilmir\u0259m.
\n\u2013De, de, niy\u0259 m\u0259ni t\u0259rk etdin, s\u0259b\u0259b n\u0259 idi?
\n\u2013Bilirs\u0259n q\u0131z\u0131m? \u2013dedi. \u2013 El\u0259 olur ki, ham\u0131n\u0131 qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndan qa\u00e7maq olmur. Qa\u00e7anda da el\u0259 bilirdil\u0259r g\u00fcnahkar oldu\u011fun g\u00f6r\u0259 qa\u00e7\u0131rsan. Ham\u0131n\u0131n yerin\u0259 g\u00fcnahkar s\u0259ns\u0259n. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 zama\u0131n\u0131n n\u0259bzini d\u00fcz tuta bilm\u0259mi\u015fdim. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 g\u00fcnahkar idim? Bilmir\u0259m! G\u00f6rd\u00fcl\u0259r m\u0259n qa\u00e7m\u0131ram ham\u0131 m\u0259nd\u0259n qa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131. Qa\u00e7mayan\u0131 da m\u0259cbur\u0259n qa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131rd\u0131lar. He\u00e7 bilirs\u0259n nec\u0259 oldu?
\n\u2013M\u0259n hardan bilim!
\n\u2013S\u0259n d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259lm\u0259mi\u015fd\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l h\u0259yat e\u015fqi \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fc. H\u0259m s\u0259n\u0259tim\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, h\u0259m \u015f\u0259ksiyy\u0259tim\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 ham\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259 h\u00f6rm\u0259tl\u0259 yana\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. El\u0259 bil q\u0259fl\u0259t\u0259n \u00e7\u0259rxim d\u00f6nd\u00fc. D\u00f6nd\u00fc dey\u0259nd\u0259 d\u00f6nm\u0259di, kimins\u0259 fikri il\u0259 raz\u0131la\u015fmad\u0131m, kimins\u0259 xo\u015funa g\u0259lm\u0259dim. Arxamca vedr\u0259 ba\u011flad\u0131lar. Ad\u0131ma h\u0259r s\u00f6z \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131lar. Gah xatal\u0131 adam, gah da m\u00fckalif dedil\u0259r ad\u0131ma. M\u0259n bilm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m, d\u00fczg\u00fcnl\u00fck xatal\u0131 adam, m\u00fckalif olmaq imi\u015f onlar\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 m\u0259n he\u00e7 n\u0259yi d\u00fczg\u00fcn g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. Ax\u0131 m\u0259nim \u00e7a\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131m var idi.
\n\u2013Niy\u0259 \u00e7a\u015f idin? \u2013q\u0131z\u0131n t\u0259r\u0259dd\u00fcdl\u0259 s\u00f6ru\u015fmas\u0131 adam\u0131 \u00e7a\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131.
\nXeli t\u0259rdd\u00fcd\u0259n sonra adam s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc davam etdi.
\n\u2013H\u0259, q\u0131z\u0131m, bilirs\u0259n nec\u0259 oldu. Atam s\u0259rxo\u015f olanda anam\u0131n z\u0259ifliyind\u0259n istifad\u0259 edib onu h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 \u0259zi\u015fdir\u0259rdi. Z\u0259ifliyi q\u0259bul ed\u0259 bilmirdim, anama qahmar \u00e7\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131m. Atam onda ba\u015f\u0131mdan vurdu. Ondan xeyli sonra \u00e7a\u015f g\u00f6rm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m.
\nSaf idim, bilmirdim kimi; – anam\u0131m\u0131, yoxsa, atam\u0131n t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259 olum. Ax\u0131 z\u0259if d\u0259, s\u0259rxo\u015f da m\u0259nim do\u011fmalar\u0131m idi. Bilmir\u0259m ona g\u00f6r\u0259mi, yoxsa atam ba\u015f\u0131ma vurdu\u011funa g\u00f6r\u0259 \u00e7a\u015f qald\u0131m. Oras\u0131n\u0131 bil\u0259 d\u0259 bilm\u0259dim. Amma onu bilir\u0259m ki, h\u0259qiq\u0259t z\u0259ifin yan\u0131nda olanda, g\u00fccl\u00fc yalan\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcb\u00fct etm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn h\u0259qiq\u0259tin ba\u015f\u0131ndan vurub \u0259yrini d\u00fcz g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r. Bax, o g\u00fcnd\u0259n bu g\u00fcn\u0259 kimi \u00e7a\u015f qalm\u0131\u015fam.
\nQ\u0131z diqq\u0259tl\u0259 adam\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcn bax\u0131rd\u0131. Adam dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131qca s\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259 m\u0259sumluq, k\u00f6vr\u0259klik hiss olunurdu.
\nAdam s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc davam etdi.
\n\u2013H\u0259, h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 d\u00fczl\u00fcy\u0259 can atm\u0131\u015fam. S\u0259n dem\u0259 d\u00fczl\u00fck adam\u0131 d\u00fczd\u0259 qoyurmu\u015f. D\u00fcz olursan, \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259 ham\u0131n\u0131n xo\u015funa g\u0259lirs\u0259n. Insan\u0131n ham\u0131ya xo\u015f g\u0259l\u0259n vaxtlar\u0131 da olur. Bird\u0259n d\u0259 el\u0259 olur ki, kims\u0259 s\u0259ni \u0259ym\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r, s\u0259n d\u0259 \u0259yil\u0259 bilmirs\u0259n, ax\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc d\u00fcz durma\u011fa \u00f6yr\u0259tmis\u0259n, \u0259yilm\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 belind\u0259n a\u011fr\u0131lar tutur. A\u011fr\u0131 qoymur ki, s\u0259n \u0259yil\u0259s\u0259n. A\u011fr\u0131n\u0131n af, ufundn ham\u0131 s\u0259nd\u0259n uzaq olma\u011fa \u00e7al\u015f\u0131r. Bax onda t\u0259kl\u0259nirs\u0259n.
\nOnda ham\u0131 \u00f6mr\u00fcn birinci m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259sind\u0259 idi, m\u0259n is\u0259 d\u00fcnyan\u0131n yeddinci m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259sin\u0259 qal\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m.
\n\u2013B\u0259s yan\u0131nda he\u00e7 k\u0259s yox idi?-q\u0131z t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259 sor\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc.
\nAdam d\u0259rind\u0259n k\u00f6ks \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb:
\n\u2013Yoox he\u00e7 kim yox idi. T\u0259k-t\u0259nha qal\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. \u2013dedi. \u2013 C\u0259miyy\u0259tin eyb\u0259c\u0259rlikl\u0259ri anana da siray\u0259t etmi\u015fdi. C\u0259miyy\u0259t m\u0259ni nec\u0259 q\u0259bul etmi\u015fdis\u0259 o da el\u0259 q\u0259bul edirdi. Anan m\u0259nd\u0259n \u00e7ox uzaqlarda idi.
\nDos-do\u011fma anam da m\u0259ni \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 \u00e7\u0259k\u0259 bilm\u0259di. D\u00fczd\u00fc, atam onu \u00e7ox \u0259zidi, amma anam atam\u0131 \u00e7ox sevdiyind\u0259n birc\u0259 bax\u0131\u015f\u0131na, el\u0259 q\u0131m\u0131\u015fma\u011f\u0131na h\u0259r \u015feyi d\u0259y\u015firdi. Heyf, atam ona qar\u015f\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259 bilm\u0259di. \u00c7\u00fcnki atam saxta idi, anam onun d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcn\u00fc.
\nAnam\u0131n yalvar\u0131\u015flar\u0131, m\u0259zlumlu\u011fu, g\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131 t\u00f6km\u0259si m\u0259n daha usand\u0131rm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Art\u0131q bu g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131 \u00f6z t\u0259sirini \u00e7oxdan itirmi\u015fdi. O ancaq h\u0259r \u015feyi g\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131 il\u0259 h\u0259ll etm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi.
\nS\u0259n d\u0259 ki, onda \u00f6z al\u0259mind\u0259 idin. He\u00e7 bir s\u0259s, sora\u011fa cavab verm\u0259k g\u00fcc\u00fcnd\u0259 deyildin. Qaranl\u0131q i\u00e7ind\u0259 qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Qaranl\u0131qdan bo\u011fulurdum.\u0130\u015f\u0131ql\u0131\u011fa can at\u0131rd\u0131m. \u0130\u015f\u0131ql\u0131\u011fa do\u011fru add\u0131mlad\u0131qca h\u0259r t\u0259r\u0259fim daha da qaranl\u0131qla\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Qaranl\u0131qdan qa\u00e7ma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. He\u00e7 bir s\u0259s, soraq yox idi, t\u0259kc\u0259 qula\u011f\u0131ma u\u011fultu s\u0259sl\u0259ri g\u0259lirdi. O u\u011fultudan vahim\u0259l\u0259nirdim, o u\u011fultudan at\u0131lmaq ist\u0259yirdim.
\nAt\u0131lma\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm. Kimi ist\u0131 qu\u00e7a\u011fa at\u0131l\u0131r, kimi qucaqdan at\u0131l\u0131r. Amma nec\u0259 at\u0131lm\u0131\u011f\u0131 bilmirdim.
\nM\u0259n is\u0259 t\u0259kliyimd\u0259n, t\u0259nhal\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan at\u0131ld\u0131m. Q\u0259fil d\u00fcnya aya\u011f\u0131m\u0131n alt\u0131ndan qa\u00e7d\u0131. Onu hiss edirdim ki, g\u00f6yd\u0259 u\u00e7uram. Oras\u0131n\u0131 anlaya bilmirdim, g\u00f6y\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f u\u00e7uram, yoxsa yer\u0259…
\nRahat yer\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259dim. Da\u015f qayan\u0131n \u00fcz\u0259rin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm. S\u0259n dem\u0259 at\u0131landa rahat yer\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259nin ad\u0131n\u0131 intahar qoyurmu\u015flar. M\u0259n d\u0259 sonradan bildim. Bil\u0259n d\u0259 \u00e7ox gec idi…
\n\u2013H\u0259r \u015feyd\u0259n at\u0131ld\u0131n, amma m\u0259nd\u0259n at\u0131la bilm\u0259din. \u2013q\u0131z kinay\u0259 il\u0259 dedi.
\nSanki adam\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 d\u0259rin bir k\u0259d\u0259r qondu, d\u0259rind\u0259n k\u00f6ks \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb dedi:
\n\u2013M\u0259n s\u0259nd\u0259n at\u0131lmad\u0131m q\u0131z\u0131m, m\u0259ni s\u0259nd\u0259n atd\u0131lar.<\/p>\n

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Yaz\u0131ya 504 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(hekay\u0259) Niy\u0259 m\u0259ni bu d\u00fcnyada t\u0259k-t\u0259nha qoyub getdin ata?… s\u0259n biziml\u0259 olsayd\u0131n onda anamla, qarda\u015f\u0131mla birg\u0259 olard\u0131q… Sanki havas\u0131zl\u0131qdan bo\u011fulacaqd\u0131… Pay\u0131z\u0131n s\u0259rinl\u0259\u015fm\u0259kd\u0259 olan il\u0131q havas\u0131n\u0131 doyunca ciy\u0259rl\u0259rin\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kdi. \u00c7oxdand\u0131r g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin h\u0259sr\u0259t qald\u0131\u011f\u0131 do\u011fma h\u0259y\u0259tin b\u00fct\u00fcn k\u00fcnc-buca\u011f\u0131na boyland\u0131… \u00c7ox h\u00fcrk\u0259k, dal\u011f\u0131n bir g\u00f6rk\u0259m alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. El\u0259 bil kims\u0259 bu andaca arxas\u0131 il\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb onu qovacaqd\u0131. K\u0259nardan baxanda […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12962,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16,3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12961"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12961"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12961\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12964,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12961\/revisions\/12964"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/12962"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12961"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12961"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12961"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}