{"id":13061,"date":"2019-09-27T18:32:51","date_gmt":"2019-09-27T13:32:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=13061"},"modified":"2019-09-27T18:33:39","modified_gmt":"2019-09-27T13:33:39","slug":"vurgun-mu%c9%99llim-kimi-vurgun-%c9%99yyub-kimi-cingiz-ozgur","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=13061","title":{"rendered":"…Vur\u011fun m\u00fc\u0259llim kimi, Vur\u011fun \u018fyyub kimi! \u2013 \u00c7ingiz \u00d6zg\u00fcr"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"FB_IMG_1569590885549\"<\/a>Onu h\u0259r g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcmd\u0259 babam\u0131 xat\u0131rlayard\u0131m. H\u0259r g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn ya \u0259vv\u0259li, ya da ax\u0131r\u0131nda babam\u0131n \u00e7\u00f6hr\u0259si g\u00f6z\u00fcm \u00f6n\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259r, bunu hiss edirmi\u015f kimi g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k m\u0259n\u0259 baxard\u0131. Bu xat\u0131rlama n\u0259 zahiri b\u0259nz\u0259m\u0259d\u0259n idi, n\u0259 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t v\u0259 ya xasiyy\u0259t ox\u015farl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan. Bu ba\u015fqa bir xat\u0131rlama idi…<\/b><\/div>\n

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M\u0259n ota\u011fa gir\u0259nd\u0259 babam sa\u011f \u0259linin b\u00fct\u00fcn barmaqlar\u0131, sol \u0259linin 3 barma\u011f\u0131 v\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259ri yumulu idi. Dodaqlar\u0131nda p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lt\u0131 vard\u0131… yox, dua etmirdi, n\u0259s\u0259 say\u0131rd\u0131. Son vaxtlar q\u0259rib\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011fuliyy\u0259tl\u0259r tapm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Gah d\u0259ft\u0259r g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb k\u0259ndin b\u00fct\u00fcn sakinl\u0259rini siyah\u0131ya alar, gah rayonumuzun k\u0259ndl\u0259rini qol-qol ay\u0131r\u0131b, inci kimi d\u00fcz\u0259rdi v\u0259r\u0259q\u0259. Ama bu d\u0259f\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda d\u0259ft\u0259r-q\u0259l\u0259m yox idi.<\/div>\n
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M\u0259nim g\u0259li\u015fimi he\u00e7 hiss etm\u0259di, dey\u0259s\u0259n. Yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131m, dodaqlar\u0131ndak\u0131 p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lt\u0131n\u0131n n\u0259 oldu\u011funu ay\u0131rd etm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131m; adam adlar\u0131 deyirdi. Diqq\u0259tl\u0259 fikir verdim, sad\u0259c\u0259 ki\u015fi adlar\u0131 idi. Bir\u2013bir deyib ke\u00e7irdi. V\u0259 bird\u0259n dayand\u0131. G\u00f6zl\u0259rini a\u00e7\u0131b sevinc\u0259k n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259rl\u0259 baxd\u0131, iki ki\u015fi ad\u0131 deyib, sol \u0259linin \u015f\u0259had\u0259t v\u0259 ba\u015f barmaqlar\u0131n\u0131 da yumdu. Xo\u015fb\u0259xtc\u0259sin\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f g\u0259lib, qucaqlad\u0131. H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259ki kimi, o \u00fcz\u00fcmd\u0259n bu \u00fcz\u00fcmd\u0259n \u00f6p\u00fcb, bir d\u0259 qucaqlad\u0131. Bu ikinci qucaqlama t\u0259kc\u0259 baban\u0131n n\u0259v\u0259y\u0259 sevgisi deyildi, g\u00f6r\u00fcl\u0259n i\u015fin tamamlanmas\u0131ndan yaranan sevinc hissinin b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015f\u00fclm\u0259si idi.<\/div>\n
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– Yen\u0259 n\u0259 say\u0131rd\u0131n, a ki\u015fi?<\/b><\/div>\n
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– Ki\u015fil\u0259ri say\u0131rd\u0131m bala, ki\u015fil\u0259ri. K\u0259ndin ki\u015fil\u0259rini.<\/div>\n
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T\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n ba\u015flad\u0131. Sa\u011f \u0259lin ba\u015f barma\u011f\u0131ndan ba\u015flay\u0131b, sol \u0259lin ba\u015f barma\u011f\u0131na q\u0259d\u0259r sayd\u0131, dayand\u0131: B\u0259y V\u0259li, D\u0259li F\u0259rman, Qo\u00e7aq Ta\u011f\u0131, K\u0259bl\u0259 H\u00fcseyn…<\/span><\/div>\n
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– K\u0259ndd\u0259 ki\u015fiy\u0259 n\u0259 g\u0259lib, ay d\u0259d\u0259.(Biz babam\u0131z\u0131 bel\u0259 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131q) S\u0259n niy\u0259 c\u0259mi onunu sayd\u0131n ki?
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– \u018fsil ki\u015fil\u0259ri say\u0131ram bala, \u0259sil ki\u015fil\u0259ri! \u0130ki \u0259lin barmaqlar\u0131n\u0131 ke\u00e7dis\u0259 \u0259sil ki\u015fil\u0259rin say\u0131, dem\u0259k ki, \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr yaradana, ya\u015fama\u011fa d\u0259y\u0259r.<\/div>\n
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Babam\u0131n sayd\u0131\u011f\u0131 adlar\u0131 m\u0259n tan\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131m, ham\u0131s\u0131 k\u0259nd\u00e7il\u0259rimiz idi, \u0259lb\u0259tt\u0259 tan\u0131yacaqd\u0131m. Amma babam\u0131n dediyi kimi tan\u0131m\u0131rd\u0131m. M\u0259n onda ki\u015fi il\u0259 qad\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259z\u0259-t\u0259z\u0259 se\u00e7irdim, h\u0259l\u0259 qald\u0131 ki, \u0259sil ki\u015fil\u0259ri se\u00e7\u0259m.
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– \u018fsil ki\u015fi nec\u0259 olur ki?
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– Otur, qulaq as, dey\u0259c\u0259m. 8-9 ya\u015fl\u0131 u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n anlayaca\u011f\u0131 dild\u0259n, aram-aram izah verm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flay\u0131r…<\/div>\n
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Qarda\u015f\u0131m m\u0259nd\u0259n \u00e7ox savadl\u0131yd\u0131. Doqquzuncu sinifd\u0259n sonra riyaziyyat t\u0259may\u00fcll\u00fc m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 g\u00f6nd\u0259rm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdil\u0259r h\u0259tta. N\u0259ys\u0259 ki, al\u0131nmad\u0131, el\u0259 k\u0259ndd\u0259 ba\u015fa vurdu t\u0259hsilini. Ham\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi ki, q\u0259bul olacaq, amma imtahanlardan k\u0259sildi, qay\u0131td\u0131. El\u0259 o biri qarda\u015f\u0131m kimi, o biri qohumlar kimi, k\u0259nd\u00e7il\u0259r kimi. Test \u00fcsulu yox idi h\u0259l\u0259 onda. Test onlara \u00e7atmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131, ya da onlar test\u0259 \u00e7atmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar dey\u0259k. M\u0259n imtahan ver\u0259nd\u0259 is\u0259, test \u00fcsulunu t\u0259tbiq ed\u0259n h\u00f6kum\u0259t devrilmi\u015fdi art\u0131q. Adamlar getmi\u015fdil\u0259r, \u0259m\u0259ll\u0259ri qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. El\u0259 o \u0259m\u0259ll\u0259rin say\u0259sind\u0259 d\u0259, m\u0259n v\u0259 m\u0259nim kimi minl\u0259r \u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259n daha savadl\u0131 qarda\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n, bac\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n ed\u0259 bilm\u0259diyini etmi\u015fdik. Ali m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 q\u0259bul olmu\u015fduq.<\/div>\n
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Universitet bitir\u0259nd\u0259n ill\u0259r sonra Bak\u0131da, bir t\u0259dbird\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm Onu. Ad\u0131 bizim q\u0259lbimizin, beynimizin \u0259zb\u0259ri idi. \u015e\u0259kill\u0259rd\u0259n tan\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131m dey\u0259, \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6r\u0259n kimi ad\u0131 \u015feir kimi beynimd\u0259n dodaqlar\u0131ma axd\u0131- Vur\u011fun \u018fyyub. Yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131b salamla\u015fd\u0131m, \u00fczd\u0259n bir az s\u0259rt g\u00f6rs\u0259nirdi, ciddi g\u00f6rk\u0259mi vard\u0131. \u0130lk d\u0259f\u0259 onda Onu g\u00f6r\u0259rk\u0259n babam\u0131 xat\u0131rlad\u0131m:<\/div>\n
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– Ay baba, s\u0259n sayd\u0131\u011f\u0131n adamlar\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131 qaraqabaq, a\u011f\u0131r xasiyy\u0259tli adamlard\u0131 ax\u0131.
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– O a\u011f\u0131r \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc arxas\u0131ndak\u0131 insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259mis\u0259n ona g\u00f6r\u0259, a bala. \u018fsil ki\u015fi sif\u0259ti el\u0259 olar da.<\/div>\n
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Sonra bir d\u0259f\u0259 yen\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fck, bu d\u0259f\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259 c\u0259sar\u0259t tap\u0131b, Ona ill\u0259rdir \u00fcr\u0259yimd\u0259 saxlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m t\u0259\u015f\u0259kk\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fc \u00e7atd\u0131rd\u0131m. Ali t\u0259hsil alma\u011f\u0131mda onun t\u0259msil etdiyi h\u00f6kum\u0259tin v\u0259 \u015f\u0259xs\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn roluna g\u00f6r\u0259. G\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcn\u00fcb \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 baxd\u0131: \u201cBu bizim bu xalqa borcumuz idi. Tanr\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7iynimiz\u0259 qoydu\u011fu missiya idi. Etm\u0259y\u0259 bilm\u0259zdik ki…\u201d<\/div>\n
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\u201c\u018fsil ki\u015fil\u0259r t\u0259vaz\u00f6kar olurlar. \u00d6zl\u0259rini dart\u0131b da\u011f ba\u015f\u0131na qoymurlar. El\u0259dikl\u0259rini g\u00f6z\u0259 soxmurlar, verdikl\u0259rini h\u0259r yerd\u0259 demirl\u0259r. Etdikl\u0259rin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 x\u00fcsusi imtiyaz t\u0259l\u0259b etmirl\u0259r\u201d<\/b>– babam\u0131n \u00f6nc\u0259 s\u0259si, sonra \u00e7\u00f6hr\u0259si g\u00f6zl\u0259rimd\u0259 canland\u0131…<\/div>\n
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Sonralar sosial \u015f\u0259b\u0259k\u0259l\u0259r Onu biz\u0259 daha yax\u0131n etmi\u015fdi. Bu h\u0259m d\u0259 ona g\u00f6r\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 idi ki, ham\u0131 ill\u0259rl\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 saxlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 minn\u0259tdarl\u0131q hissini \u00e7atd\u0131ra bilirdi. Q\u0259bul imtahan\u0131n\u0131n n\u0259tic\u0259l\u0259ri m\u0259lum olan g\u00fcn, sosial \u015f\u0259b\u0259k\u0259d\u0259 \u201cVur\u011fun bayram\u0131\u201d ya\u015fan\u0131rd\u0131 sanki. Ham\u0131 ona t\u0259\u015f\u0259kk\u00fcr edir, minn\u0259tdarl\u0131q bildirirdi.<\/div>\n
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Bel\u0259 g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259n birind\u0259 facebookda status yazm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Test \u00fcsulunun Vur\u011fun \u018fyyubdan daha \u00e7ox, \u018fb\u00fclf\u0259z b\u0259yin xidm\u0259ti oldu\u011funu qeyd etmi\u015fdim. Birinci \u015f\u0259xsin irad\u0259si olmadan bunun m\u00fcmk\u00fcns\u00fczl\u00fcy\u00fcn yazm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Bir az da uza\u011fa gedib, \u018fb\u00fclf\u0259z El\u00e7ib\u0259y h\u00f6kum\u0259tind\u0259 bu islahat\u0131 h\u0259yata ke\u00e7ir\u0259c\u0259k az\u0131 on n\u0259f\u0259rin oldu\u011funu demi\u015fdim. R\u0259y yazanlardan raz\u0131la\u015fanlar da vard\u0131, raz\u0131la\u015fmayanlar da. M\u0259ni haqs\u0131zl\u0131qda g\u00fcnahland\u0131ranlar da var idi. Ara qar\u0131\u015fan anda yetirmi\u015fdi \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc. Yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n do\u011fru oldu\u011funu qeyd etmi\u015f, amma ki\u00e7ik bir d\u00fcz\u0259li\u015f vermi\u015fdi:\u00a0\u201c10 n\u0259f\u0259r el\u0259 bil bir az \u00e7ox oldu, b\u0259y…\u201d\u00a0<\/b>Onu bu r\u0259yi il\u0259 aral\u0131q sakitl\u0259\u015fmi\u015f, m\u0259n d\u0259 \u201cir\u0259li getdiyimin\u201d f\u0259rqin\u0259 var\u0131b, haqq vermi\u015fdim Ona.<\/div>\n
\u201cDo\u011frunu dem\u0259kd\u0259n \u00e7\u0259kinm\u0259zl\u0259r, q\u0131z\u0131\u015fd\u0131ran yox, yat\u0131\u015fd\u0131ran, sakitl\u0259\u015fdir\u0259n olurlar. S\u00f6zl\u0259rinin \u00e7\u0259kisi olur. Az dan\u0131\u015fsalar da, ham\u0131n\u0131n dinl\u0259y\u0259c\u0259yi, e\u015fid\u0259c\u0259yi s\u00f6zl\u0259ri dey\u0259rl\u0259r\u201d- demi\u015fdi onda babam.<\/div>\n
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Sonralar arada g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fl\u0259rimiz, s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259rimiz olurdu. Daha do\u011frusu, m\u0259n Onu dinl\u0259y\u0259rdim. Dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131 h\u0259r bir s\u00f6z\u00fc, dediyi h\u0259r bir c\u00fcml\u0259ni yadda\u015f\u0131ma y\u0131\u011fmaq ist\u0259rc\u0259sin\u0259 dinl\u0259rdim. Hardan v\u0259 n\u0259d\u0259n dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r dan\u0131\u015fs\u0131n, g\u00f6z\u0259l dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131, xo\u015f idi. \u018fsas\u0259n hakimiyy\u0259t ill\u0259rind\u0259n, t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 q\u0259bulundak\u0131 inqilabdan- test \u00fcsulunun t\u0259tbiqind\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131 ist\u0259rdim. S\u00f6hb\u0259ti o t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 y\u00f6n\u0259ld\u0259rdim.<\/div>\n
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\u201cB\u0259y m\u0259nd\u0259n soru\u015fdu ki, n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r vaxt laz\u0131md\u0131? \u00dc\u00e7 aya bacararam- dedim. Dey\u0259s\u0259n, bu cavab\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259mirdi. Bir d\u0259 soru\u015fdu ki, \u201c\u00e7atd\u0131ra bil\u0259c\u0259ksiz\u201d, dedim, \u201c\u0259lb\u0259tt\u0259 b\u0259y, \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259niz olmas\u0131n\u201d\u00a0<\/b><\/div>\n
S\u00f6z verilmi\u015fdi. Ed\u0259c\u0259kdik. \u018fn x\u0131rda detallara q\u0259d\u0259r hesablay\u0131r, \u00e7\u0131xa bil\u0259c\u0259k h\u0259r problemi \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259d\u0259n n\u0259z\u0259r\u0259 al\u0131rd\u0131q. H\u0259r \u015feyin n\u0259zar\u0259timizd\u0259 olmas\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn imtahanlar\u0131n bir \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259- Bak\u0131da olmas\u0131 \u015f\u0259rt idi. Amma dey\u0259s\u0259n, \u015f\u0259rtimizi pozmaq ist\u0259y\u0259nl\u0259r vard\u0131. X\u0259b\u0259r g\u0259ldi ki, b\u0259y s\u0259ni \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131r. Getdim q\u0259bula. \u018fvv\u0259lc\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259rin nec\u0259 getdiyi il\u0259 maraqland\u0131. Sonra \u0259sas m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259ldi:\u00a0\u201cNax\u00e7\u0131van m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259si nec\u0259 olacaq?\u201d<\/b><\/div>\n
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M\u0259n hiss edirdim ki, \u018fb\u00fclf\u0259z B\u0259y\u0259 bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259yl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 n\u0259l\u0259rs\u0259 deyilib v\u0259 kiml\u0259rs\u0259 Nax\u00e7\u0131van \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn imtahanlar\u0131n m\u0259hz Nax\u00e7\u0131vanda ke\u00e7irilm\u0259sini m\u0259qs\u0259d\u0259uy\u011funlu\u011fu haqda fikir bildirib. Nax\u00e7\u0131van\u0131n blokadada olmas\u0131, gedi\u015f-g\u0259li\u015fin \u00e7\u0259tinliyi il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 deyil\u0259nl\u0259r B\u0259yi d\u0259 etkil\u0259mi\u015fdi. Q\u0259rar verm\u0259 m\u0259rh\u0259l\u0259sind\u0259ydi. Anlad\u0131m ki, m\u0259nim fikrimd\u0259n \u00e7ox \u015fey as\u0131l\u0131d\u0131. Amma \u0259sasl\u0131 fikir dem\u0259liy\u0259m. B\u0259y \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, bizim komanda \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn h\u0259ssas olan n\u00f6qt\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n yola \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b fikir bildirm\u0259liy\u0259m. B\u0259yin h\u0259l\u0259 ki, tam q\u0259rar verm\u0259mi\u015fdi, d\u00fczg\u00fcn q\u0259rar\u0131n verilm\u0259si \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn onu inand\u0131rmaq laz\u0131m idi\u201d.<\/div>\n
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S\u00f6hb\u0259tin bu yerind\u0259 \u0259lini cibin\u0259 at\u0131b siqaret \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131r. Yuxar\u0131ya qalxan t\u00fcst\u00fc il\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259r m\u0259n d\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rimi qald\u0131r\u0131b Onun g\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 bax\u0131ram. Siqaret t\u00fcst\u00fcs\u00fcnd\u0259n azca ya\u015farm\u0131\u015f kimi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n g\u00f6zl\u0259ri ba\u015f\u0131m \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259n divara tu\u015flan\u0131b. O divarda g\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259rini dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r sanki. Bir anda o n\u0259mli, ifad\u0259li g\u00f6zl\u0259rd\u0259n yay\u0131lan i\u015f\u0131qla \u00f6nc\u0259 \u00f6z sif\u0259ti, sonra siqaretinin t\u00fcst\u00fcs\u00fc daxil b\u00fct\u00fcn otaq i\u015f\u0131\u011fa b\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcr sanki…<\/div>\n
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\u201cOrda, bizd\u0259n uzaq Nax\u00e7\u0131vanda, n\u0259zar\u0259timizd\u0259n k\u0259nar ba\u015f ver\u0259 bil\u0259c\u0259k h\u0259r hans\u0131 \u0259dal\u0259tsizlik, haqs\u0131zl\u0131q m\u0259hz sizin ad\u0131n\u0131za yaz\u0131lacaq. Dey\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r ki, \u00f6z yerlil\u0259rin\u0259 g\u00fcz\u0259\u015ft el\u0259di…\u201d<\/b><\/div>\n

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M\u0259nl\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fark\u0259n bel\u0259 s\u00f6zl\u0259ri el\u0259 inand\u0131r\u0131c\u0131, el\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259kd\u0259n deyir ki, sanki el\u0259 indic\u0259 \u00f6lk\u0259 prezidentinin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda oturub, onunla dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r.<\/div>\n
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\u201c\u018fb\u00fclf\u0259z b\u0259yin \u00fcz ifad\u0259sind\u0259n g\u00f6rd\u00fcm ki, n\u0259tic\u0259 laz\u0131m olan kimi olacaq. Qal\u0131r birc\u0259 h\u0259lli yolunu tapmaq. Vaxt itirm\u0259d\u0259n o yolu da dedim, \u00e7\u00fcnki \u0259vv\u0259ld\u0259n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm bu haqda\u201d.
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Prezidentin tap\u015f\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131 il\u0259, AZAL \u015firk\u0259ti x\u00fcsusi reysl\u0259r ay\u0131r\u0131r. Nax\u00e7\u0131vanl\u0131 abituriyentl\u0259r imtahandan \u0259vv\u0259l Bak\u0131ya g\u0259tirilib, imtahandan sonra is\u0259 Bak\u0131dan Nax\u00e7\u0131vana yola sal\u0131n\u0131r.<\/div>\n
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\u201cHaqq\u0131-nahaqq\u0131n aya\u011f\u0131na verm\u0259zl\u0259r. G\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259ri i\u015fi b\u00fct\u00f6v g\u00f6r\u0259r, \u0259dal\u0259t namin\u0259 \u0259n ba\u015fdak\u0131 adama, r\u0259isl\u0259rin\u0259 bel\u0259 fikril\u0259\u015fdikl\u0259rinin \u0259ksini dem\u0259z, yalan-yanl\u0131\u015f s\u00f6yl\u0259m\u0259z \u0259sil ki\u015fil\u0259r\u201d -babam \u201cg\u0259lmi\u015fdi\u201d yen\u0259…<\/b><\/div>\n
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Bir s\u00f6hb\u0259timizd\u0259 test \u00fcsulunun da \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmazl\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131n oldu\u011funu, h\u0259r \u015feyin m\u00fck\u0259mm\u0259l olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, m\u0259niml\u0259 birg\u0259, x (iks) yaza bilm\u0259y\u0259n adamlar\u0131n riyaziyyat ixtisas\u0131nda oxudu\u011funu, k\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcb q\u0259bul olduqlar\u0131n\u0131 dedim. G\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcnd\u00fc.\u00a0\u201c\u018flb\u0259tt\u0259 ki, var bel\u0259 \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmazl\u0131qlar. Amma bu t\u0259kc\u0259 test \u00fcsulunun deyil ki, el\u0259 h\u0259m d\u0259 insanlar\u0131n \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmazl\u0131qlar\u0131d\u0131. M\u0259n bac\u0131m\u0131 imtahan verm\u0259y\u0259 qoymad\u0131m 92-d\u0259. Anam dedi m\u0259n\u0259, cavab\u0131nda dedim ki, olmaz. He\u00e7 s\u0259n\u0259d d\u0259 verm\u0259sin. \u00c7\u00fcnki, savads\u0131z idi. Allah el\u0259m\u0259sin, gedib k\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcrd\u00fcb el\u0259yib q\u0259bul olsa, m\u0259n g\u0259r\u0259k adam i\u00e7in\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xmazd\u0131m…\u201d<\/b>\u00a0– M\u00fc\u0259llim d\u0259rs verirdi. \u0130nsanl\u0131q d\u0259rsi, ki\u015filik d\u0259rsi, haqq-\u0259dal\u0259t d\u0259rsi.<\/div>\n
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\u201cNec\u0259 ki, yadlar kimi, \u00f6z do\u011fmas\u0131n\u0131n da s\u0259hvini, \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmayan c\u0259h\u0259tini, yax\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131-pisini \u00e7\u0259kinm\u0259d\u0259n, \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 dey\u0259r \u0259sil ki\u015fil\u0259r\u201d- Allah s\u0259n\u0259 r\u0259hm\u0259t el\u0259sin, ay d\u0259d\u0259…
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Qism\u0259t bizi Ankarada da g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcrd\u00fc. M\u0259n d\u0259 h\u0259kim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn qarda\u015f \u00f6lk\u0259nin ba\u015f k\u0259ndind\u0259ydim. Vur\u011fun m\u00fc\u0259llim d\u0259 s\u0259hh\u0259tind\u0259ki probleml\u0259rl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. Minl\u0259rl\u0259 insan\u0131n ali t\u0259hsil almas\u0131na, h\u0259kim olmas\u0131na \u015f\u0259rait yaradan ki\u015fi, \u00f6z sa\u011flaml\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n \u0259lac\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6lk\u0259d\u0259n k\u0259nardak\u0131 h\u0259kiml\u0259rd\u0259 axtarmaq m\u0259cburiyy\u0259tind\u0259ydi – bu da ayr\u0131 bir d\u0259rd. Ankara s\u0259f\u0259rind\u0259 onunla birg\u0259 olan, Vur\u011fun b\u0259yin d\u0259, m\u0259nim d\u0259 yax\u0131n dostum Anardan \u00f6yr\u0259ndim orda oldu\u011funu. M\u0259n indi Ankarada ya\u015fayan \u015fair Aq\u015fin Yeniseyl\u0259 birlikd\u0259 idim. E\u015fid\u0259n kimi d\u0259, g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k q\u0259rar\u0131 verdik, g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fck. Anar\u0131n h\u0259m g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259n, h\u0259m d\u0259 q\u0131r\u0131q- q\u0131r\u0131q dediyi s\u00f6zl\u0259rd\u0259n anlad\u0131m ki, v\u0259ziyy\u0259t he\u00e7 d\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 deyil.<\/div>\n
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M\u00fc\u0259llimi tibbi prosedurlar\u0131n verdiyi a\u011fr\u0131lar\u0131n \u0259lind\u0259n qa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131b bir masan\u0131n \u0259traf\u0131na y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fd\u0131q. Siqaret pa\u00e7kas\u0131n\u0131 cibimd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259 Vur\u011fun b\u0259y\u0259 t\u0259klif el\u0259dim. G\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb,\u00a0\u201cs\u0259n n\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 o\u011flansan, ay \u00c7ingiz\u201d<\/b>\u00a0dey\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcn\u0259nd\u0259 Anar\u0131n sif\u0259t ifad\u0259sind\u0259n bildim ki, n\u0259yis\u0259 s\u0259hv el\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. S\u0259n dem\u0259, h\u0259kim siqareti qada\u011fan edibmi\u015f, el\u0259 ilk g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u0259c\u0259. S\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259n Vur\u011fun b\u0259y ist\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259, Anargil n\u0259 siqaret alma\u011fa, n\u0259 d\u0259 \u00e7\u0259km\u0259y\u0259 qoymurmu\u015flar…<\/div>\n
Biz o g\u00fcn Onu dinl\u0259dik. D\u0259r\u0259l\u0259ri da\u011flara, da\u011flar\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6ll\u0259r\u0259 qar\u0131\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131. \u00d6mr\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn \u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259l d\u0259rsl\u0259rind\u0259n birini dinl\u0259dik, m\u00fc\u0259llimd\u0259n. Gah \u015feir dedi, gah s\u00f6zl\u0259rin sehrind\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131, gah da xatir\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 boyland\u0131. Arada hardan a\u011fl\u0131ma g\u0259ldis\u0259, K\u0259l\u0259ki haqda soru\u015fdum. \u00dcz\u00fcn\u0259 k\u00f6lg\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6kd\u00fc bir anda.<\/div>\n
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\u201cM\u0259n K\u0259l\u0259kiy\u0259 getm\u0259dim ki. He\u00e7 getm\u0259dim. Anam incidi m\u0259nd\u0259n, ama yen\u0259 getm\u0259dim. \u00c7\u00fcnki, B\u0259yin gedi\u015fi incitmi\u015fdi m\u0259ni… Bir d\u0259f\u0259 k\u0259ndd\u0259 olanda anam dedi ki, get K\u0259l\u0259kiy\u0259, \u018fb\u00fclf\u0259z b\u0259yi g\u00f6r. Dedim ki, getm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m. Anam dedi ki, K\u0259l\u0259kiy\u0259 getmiy\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259ns\u0259 bura da g\u0259lm\u0259: \u201cN\u0259 vaxt ora ged\u0259rs\u0259n, onda g\u0259lib m\u0259nim g\u00f6r\u0259rs\u0259n\u201d. \u00c7\u0131xd\u0131m g\u0259ldim Bak\u0131ya. Getm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdim, bu d\u0259qiq idi. Amma anam\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259 dar\u0131xacaqd\u0131m ax\u0131. Bir xeyli m\u00fcdd\u0259t ke\u00e7di. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 qarda\u015f\u0131m g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 dedi ki: \u201canam dinmir, he\u00e7 zad demir, amma s\u0259nd\u0259n yana dar\u0131x\u0131r, g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m. Bir g\u0259l k\u0259nd\u0259\u201d. Nec\u0259 gedim e? Arvad deyib ax\u0131, K\u0259l\u0259kiy\u0259 getm\u0259s\u0259n bura da g\u0259lm\u0259. M\u0259ns\u0259 K\u0259l\u0259kiy\u0259 getm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. N\u0259ys\u0259 ki, bir xeyli vaxt da ke\u00e7di. G\u00f6rd\u00fcm olmur bel\u0259. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm arvad\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na bir i\u015f zad g\u0259l\u0259r, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc ba\u011f\u0131\u015fl\u0131ya bilm\u0259r\u0259m. Durub getdim k\u0259nd\u0259. H\u0259y\u0259t qap\u0131s\u0131na anam \u00f6z\u00fc g\u0259ldi. Qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131 v\u0259 soru\u015fdu: \u201cK\u0259l\u0259kiy\u0259 gedibs\u0259nmi?\u201d Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 yox m\u0259nas\u0131nda bulad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcb, \u201cb\u0259s buraya ney\u00e7\u00fcn g\u0259libs\u0259n onda?\u201d dedi v\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6n\u00fcb ev\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f getdi. M\u0259n d\u0259 onun arxas\u0131yca…\u201d<\/b><\/div>\n
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\u201c\u018fsil ki\u015fil\u0259r dedikl\u0259rind\u0259n, haqq bildikl\u0259rind\u0259n he\u00e7 vaxt d\u00f6nm\u00fcrl\u0259r…\u201d<\/div>\n
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M\u0259clis\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015f sakitliyi yen\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fc pozdu^<\/div>\n
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– Ay \u00c7ingiz, s\u0259ni d\u0259 bayaq t\u0259rifl\u0259dim, dedim yax\u015f\u0131 o\u011flansan, ama han\u0131 yeee???<\/b><\/div>\n

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Ayd\u0131nd\u0131, m\u00fc\u0259llim siqaret ist\u0259yir. \u018flimi cibim\u0259 at\u0131ram. \u00dczb\u0259\u00fczd\u0259n Anar g\u00f6zl\u0259rini a\u011fard\u0131r. M\u00fc\u0259llim \u00e7\u00f6n\u00fcb sakit n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259 Anara bax\u0131r. Anar n\u0259s\u0259 sifari\u015f verm\u0259k b\u0259han\u0259si il\u0259 stoldan uzaqla\u015fmaqdan ba\u015fqa \u00e7ar\u0259 tapm\u0131r. Bel\u0259c\u0259 ham\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n i\u015fi d\u00fcz\u0259lir. H\u0259tta Aq\u015fin d\u0259 xo\u015fb\u0259xtc\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcn\u00fcb, bir siqaret d\u0259 o yand\u0131r\u0131r…<\/div>\n
M\u0259clisimiz gec\u0259 yar\u0131larad\u0259k otelin lobbisind\u0259, \u00e7ay stolunda davam el\u0259di. Yen\u0259 \u015feirl\u0259r, bayat\u0131lar, s\u00f6zl\u0259r, xatir\u0259l\u0259r…<\/div>\n
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