{"id":13530,"date":"2019-12-21T13:52:20","date_gmt":"2019-12-21T09:52:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=13530"},"modified":"2019-12-21T13:52:20","modified_gmt":"2019-12-21T09:52:20","slug":"m%c9%99ry%c9%99m-%c9%99liyeva-esq-cazib%c9%99li-ur%c9%99k","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=13530","title":{"rendered":"M\u0259ry\u0259m \u018fliyeva – “E\u015eQ CAZ\u0130B\u018fL\u0130 \u00dcR\u018fK!”"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"39917045_1887673604612807_2465934925874855936_o\"<\/a>M\u0259n bilir\u0259m, biz g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259yik s\u0259ninl\u0259 s\u0259nin he\u00e7 g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259diyin bir anda h\u0259m d\u0259…
\nS\u0259n m\u0259n\u0259 baxacaqsan yax\u0131n q\u0259d\u0259r uzaqdan. \u0130\u00e7ind\u0259 el\u0259 bir f\u0131rt\u0131nalar qopacaq ki, \u00e7al\u0131\u015facaqsan ayaqlar\u0131n\u0131 el\u0259 m\u00f6hk\u0259m yer\u0259 basasan y\u0131x\u0131lma\u011f\u0131na v\u00fcs\u0259t olmas\u0131n. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 yox ki, m\u0259nim cazib\u0259m g\u00fccl\u00fc olacaq. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 ki, s\u0259n m\u0259ni \u00e7\u0259km\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 sar\u0131 bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131nla.
\n\u018fll\u0259rin vurnuxucaq \u0259ll\u0259rimi tutma\u011fa\u2014barmaqlar\u0131n bir-birini qucaqlayacaq. Aln\u0131ndan s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u0259n x\u0259cal\u0259t t\u0259rini silm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015facaqsan. \u018fn az\u0131ndan g\u00f6rm\u0259yim, hiss etm\u0259yim dey\u0259….
\nAmma al\u0131nmayacaq yana\u011f\u0131na s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u0259nd\u0259 bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131n istisind\u0259n \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 quruyacak. S\u0259ns\u0259, \u0259riy\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n ist\u0259s\u0259n d\u0259, ist\u0259m\u0259s\u0259n d\u0259…
\nK\u00f6ks\u00fcnd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xan \u00fcr\u0259k r\u0259ng alacaq yanaqlar\u0131ndan, o t\u0259rt\u0259miz \u00e7\u00f6hr\u0259n lal\u0259 kimi allanacaq vicadan\u0131n yerin\u0259. M\u0259ns\u0259 sakit-sakit seyr ed\u0259c\u0259m i\u00e7imd\u0259 h\u0259r zaman g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259yib d\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 bilm\u0259diyim o g\u00f6z\u0259l \u00fcz\u00fc.
\nDill\u0259nib dan\u0131\u015facaq bir c\u00fct gizli bax\u0131\u015flar h\u0259r \u015feyi e\u015fid\u0259 bil\u0259c\u0259m, duya bil\u0259c\u0259m. S\u0259nin bel\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 etiraf ed\u0259 bilm\u0259dikl\u0259rini d\u0259.
\nS\u00fckun\u0259tli k\u0259lm\u0259l\u0259r yar\u0131\u015facaq m\u0259niml\u0259 v\u0259 b\u0259lk\u0259six m\u0259n qalib g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259m.
\nB\u00fct\u00fcn arzun, x\u0259yal\u0131n yer g\u0259z\u0259c\u0259k \u00fcz\u00fcmd\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fctd\u00fcy\u00fc \u00fcmidl\u0259ri do\u011frulda bilm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn . V\u0259 ya g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259diyin xo\u015fb\u0259xtliyi\u2014\u00e7\u00f6hr\u0259md\u0259ki t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcmd\u0259n ala bilm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn.
\n\u00dcr\u0259yin as\u0131lacaq kipriyinin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 bir h\u0259ml\u0259yl\u0259 d\u00f6y\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc e\u015fid\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m. Ya da o geni\u015f sin\u0259nin qalx\u0131b-enm\u0259sind\u0259n duyacam gizl\u0259tdiyin e\u015fqin b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc.
\nEl\u0259c\u0259 can atacaq g\u00f6zl\u0259rim\u0259 \u00e7atma\u011fa g\u00f6zl\u0259rin. Zaman\u0131nda tapmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n nuru da, itirdiyin s\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259ri d\u0259\u2014g\u00f6zl\u0259rimin i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda tapacaqsan.
\nToplay\u0131b c\u0259sar\u0259tini dil s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc dey\u0259nd\u0259 bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131m utanaraq yer axtaracaq torpaq \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 .
\nS\u0259ns\u0259 inada minib m\u0259n\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f dey\u0259s\u0259n s\u00f6yl\u0259 sar\u0131 \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259yim, s\u0259n d\u0259 dill\u0259n dey\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n!
\nDan\u0131\u015f ki, g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259n hiss etdiyim, bax\u0131\u015f\u0131ndan al\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m sevgi dolu o d\u00fcnyan\u0131n hans\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259 oldu\u011fumu bilim-dey\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n!
\nM\u0259n yen\u0259 d\u0259 susacam, indi susdu\u011fum kimi-yana\u011f\u0131mda gizl\u0259n\u0259n n\u0259z\u0259rini toplay\u0131b-d\u00fcz g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 baxacam! Bu t\u0259rt\u0259miz, yamya\u015f\u0131l g\u00f6zl\u0259rin i\u00e7ind\u0259 s\u0259n adlanan bir d\u00fcnya g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n. \u018fg\u0259r h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259n d\u0259 arif olub anlaya bils\u0259n, duya bils\u0259n! \u00d6z\u00fcn ki, anlad\u0131n onda baxa bil\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n s\u0259ni sev\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259-m\u0259nim d\u0259 s\u0259n adlanan e\u015fq\u0259 baxd\u0131\u011f\u0131m kimi…<\/p>\n

D\u018fN\u0130Z!
\n\u00dcr\u0259yimin titr\u0259k s\u0259si, s\u0259ssizliyimin f\u0131rt\u0131nas\u0131! Uzaqdan qorxulu g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n \u00fcmman! \u018fn yax\u0131n sirda\u015f\u0131m, \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck yolda\u015f\u0131m, \u00fcr\u0259yimi a\u00e7a bildiyim t\u0259k dostum! B\u0259z\u0259n deyirl\u0259r, q\u0131zlar\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn sirrl\u0259rini, d\u0259rdl\u0259rini bil\u0259n analar\u0131d\u0131r! Dem\u0259zdim, m\u0259nim gizlinl\u0259rimi bil\u0259n yegan\u0259 varl\u0131qd\u0131r\u2014D\u0259niz! Ana ba\u015fa tac, g\u00f6z\u0259 i\u015f\u0131qd\u0131r ancaq arada b\u00f6y\u00fck s\u0259rh\u0259dl\u0259r, p\u0259rd\u0259l\u0259r var. R\u0259fiq\u0259 deyil\u0259n anlay\u0131\u015f is\u0259 d\u0131rnaqaras\u0131d\u0131r. \u00c7\u00fcnki iki n\u0259f\u0259rin bildiyi sirr deyildir. \u0130nsan o\u011flunu tan\u0131maq \u00e7ox \u00e7\u0259tin. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 g\u00fcnah s\u0259nin \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259dir ay adam! B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 g\u00fcv\u0259ninin yerl\u0259 yeksan olmas\u0131ndand\u0131r insanlara qar\u015f\u0131 yaranan bu g\u00fcv\u0259nsizlik. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259… Ancaq, heyr\u0259t bu qorxunc dal\u011falardan qorxu hissi olmamas\u0131d\u0131r! O sonsuz \u00fcnvanl\u0131 dal\u011falarda itirilmi\u015f izl\u0259ri axtarmaq, gizl\u0259n\u0259n bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 tapmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m sanki. Sanki bu ki\u00e7ik \u00fcr\u0259y\u0259 s\u0131\u011fd\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m b\u00fct\u00fcn y\u00fckl\u0259ri damla-damla dal\u011falar\u0131n qoynuna at\u0131ram, y\u00fcng\u00fcll\u0259\u015fir\u0259m. El\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259l anlay\u0131r ki, el\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259l ox\u015fay\u0131r ki, m\u0259ni! H\u0259r tumar\u0131 anam\u0131n u\u015faqk\u0259n tell\u0259rimi ox\u015famas\u0131na ox\u015fay\u0131r.
\nD\u0259niz… G\u00fcn\u0259\u015f \u015f\u00fcalar\u0131n\u0131n l\u0259p\u0259l\u0259r \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 yaratd\u0131\u011f\u0131 q\u0131z\u0131l\u0131 sar\u0131 r\u0259ng el\u0259 bil sa\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131n, i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n mavi il\u0259 ya\u015f\u0131l\u0131 bir-birin\u0259 qovu\u015fdurdu\u011fu is\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin r\u0259ngidir sanki. Bu q\u0259d\u0259r ox\u015farl\u0131q \u0130lahi bir yax\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n do\u011fmal\u0131\u011f\u0131 m\u0259nc\u0259. Q\u0131s\u0131lmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m qoynuna, qovu\u015fmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m ona! Amma d\u0259niz \u0259ll\u0259riyl\u0259 it\u0259l\u0259yir m\u0259ni, el\u0259 ordan dur d\u0259rdl\u0259\u015f\u0259k deyir… G\u00f6z-g\u00f6z\u0259 bax\u0131\u015f\u0131r\u0131q onunla! \u0130ki sevgilinin bir-birin\u0259 zill\u0259n\u0259n bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 kimi. D\u0259nizin t\u0259lat\u00fcml\u00fc bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 \u0259rid\u0259 bilir \u00fcr\u0259yimd\u0259ki soyuqlu\u011fu. Yava\u015f-yava\u015f \u0259ll\u0259rimin istisin hiss edir\u0259m. D\u0259niz \u0259ll\u0259rimd\u0259n tutub qald\u0131r\u0131r get, s\u0259ni g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259nl\u0259rin var, s\u0259nin sev\u0259nl\u0259rin var deyir! B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 qalmaq ist\u0259rdim \u0259b\u0259dilik onun qollar\u0131nda. Ancaq o s\u00f6zl\u0259r diksindirir m\u0259ni. B\u0259li m\u0259ni g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259nl\u0259rim var v\u0259 m\u0259n onlar \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn VAR olmal\u0131yam deyir\u0259m! D\u0259niz -\u0259lvida s\u00f6yl\u0259yir m\u0259ns\u0259, h\u0259l\u0259lik deyir\u0259m! Bir g\u00fcn yen\u0259 dolarsam s\u0259ninl\u0259 d\u0259rdl\u0259rimi b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m qanda\u015f\u0131m D\u018fN\u0130Z! Ax\u0131 m\u0259nim t\u0259k sirda\u015f\u0131m, t\u0259k \u00fcr\u0259k dostum s\u0259ns\u0259n!
\nD\u0259niz \u00e7o\u015fur, \u00e7a\u011flay\u0131r bir g\u00fcn \u00e7al\u0131\u015f t\u0259k g\u0259lm\u0259 deyir-bir g\u00fcn d\u0259, i\u00e7ind\u0259kini m\u0259n\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fa bildiyin q\u0259d\u0259r dan\u0131\u015faca\u011f\u0131n \u0259li tutub g\u0259l! Amma o g\u00fcn\u00fc h\u00f6km\u0259n g\u0259l, bir g\u00fcn… V\u0259 yen\u0259 \u00f6z s\u0259ssizliyim\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kilir\u0259m, yen\u0259 s\u00fckutumla ba\u015f-ba\u015fa qalma\u011fa gedir\u0259m bir g\u00fcn dan\u0131\u015fa bilm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, geriy\u0259 d\u00f6nm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn!…<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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<\/i>\u041d\u0440\u0430\u0432\u0438\u0442\u0441\u044f<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n


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Yaz\u0131ya 727 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

M\u0259n bilir\u0259m, biz g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259yik s\u0259ninl\u0259 s\u0259nin he\u00e7 g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259diyin bir anda h\u0259m d\u0259… S\u0259n m\u0259n\u0259 baxacaqsan yax\u0131n q\u0259d\u0259r uzaqdan. \u0130\u00e7ind\u0259 el\u0259 bir f\u0131rt\u0131nalar qopacaq ki, \u00e7al\u0131\u015facaqsan ayaqlar\u0131n\u0131 el\u0259 m\u00f6hk\u0259m yer\u0259 basasan y\u0131x\u0131lma\u011f\u0131na v\u00fcs\u0259t olmas\u0131n. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 yox ki, m\u0259nim cazib\u0259m g\u00fccl\u00fc olacaq. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 ki, s\u0259n m\u0259ni \u00e7\u0259km\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 sar\u0131 bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131nla. \u018fll\u0259rin vurnuxucaq \u0259ll\u0259rimi tutma\u011fa\u2014barmaqlar\u0131n […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16,3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13530"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13530"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13530\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13531,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13530\/revisions\/13531"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13530"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13530"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13530"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}