{"id":13691,"date":"2020-02-26T00:08:14","date_gmt":"2020-02-25T20:08:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=13691"},"modified":"2020-02-26T00:08:14","modified_gmt":"2020-02-25T20:08:14","slug":"aqsin-x%c9%99yal-c%c9%99nn%c9%99td%c9%99n-m%c9%99ktub","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=13691","title":{"rendered":"Aq\u015fin X\u0259yal – “C\u0259nn\u0259td\u0259n m\u0259ktub”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"xocali\"<\/a>Salam.<\/p>\n

Bu m\u0259ktubu siz\u0259 C\u0259nn\u0259td\u0259n g\u00f6nd\u0259rir\u0259m.
\nBir vaxtlar m\u0259n anam\u0131n isti b\u0259tnind\u0259, d\u00fcnyadan x\u0259b\u0259rsiz bir k\u00f6rp\u0259 idim. C\u0259mi bir ne\u00e7\u0259 ay qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 d\u00fcnyaya g\u00f6z a\u00e7ma\u011f\u0131ma. Anam h\u0259r g\u00fcn m\u0259niml\u0259 \u015firin \u2013 \u015firin s\u00f6hb\u0259t edir, m\u0259nim do\u011fulaca\u011f\u0131m g\u00fcn\u00fc h\u0259s\u0259dl\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi. H\u0259rd\u0259n atam da \u0259lini anam\u0131n qarn\u0131na qoyub, m\u0259ni orda \u0259zizl\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k oynad\u0131rd\u0131.
\nD\u00fcnyan\u0131n nec\u0259 bir yer oldu\u011funu t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr ed\u0259 bilmirdim, amma bilirdim ki, d\u00fcnyada m\u0259ni \u00e7ox sev\u0259n anam v\u0259 atam var. Onlar\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn s\u0259birsizl\u0259nirdim.
\nGec\u0259 anam\u0131n t\u0259la\u015f v\u0259 h\u0259yacan\u0131n\u0131 duydum. B\u0259tnind\u0259 oldu\u011fum bu yeddi ayda anam h\u0259l\u0259 bu q\u0259d\u0259r h\u0259y\u0259can v\u0259 qorxu i\u00e7ind\u0259 olmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Qorxu anam\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn cismin\u0259 yay\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan t\u0259bii ki, m\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259 t\u0259siri az deyildi. Sonra anam harasa qa\u00e7ma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131. Qa\u00e7d\u0131qca da ke\u00e7irdiyi qorxu daha da \u00e7oxal\u0131r, m\u0259nim i\u00e7\u0259rid\u0259 n\u0259f\u0259s alma\u011f\u0131m\u0131 \u00e7\u0259tinl\u0259\u015fdirirdi. Art\u0131q m\u0259n d\u0259 bir yerd\u0259 dayana bilmir, sa\u011fa \u2013 sola \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131n\u0131rd\u0131m. Rahat n\u0259f\u0259s almaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn anam\u0131n b\u0259tnind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. Anam bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 y\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131. H\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 y\u0131x\u0131l\u0131b durandan sonra qarn\u0131n\u0131, y\u0259ni m\u0259ni \u0259ll\u0259riyl\u0259 qucaqlayaraq qa\u00e7ma\u011fa davam edirdi. Bu d\u0259f\u0259 o qarn\u0131 \u00fcst\u0259 y\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan m\u0259n d\u0259 i\u00e7\u0259rid\u0259 \u0259zildim.
\nAnam art\u0131q qa\u00e7m\u0131rd\u0131, amma s\u0259si g\u0259ldikc\u0259 q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. Q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rd\u0131qca da b\u00fct\u00fcn cismin\u0259 yay\u0131lm\u0131\u015f qorxu daha da \u00e7oxal\u0131rd\u0131. N\u0259 ba\u015f verdiyini anlam\u0131rd\u0131m. Anam\u0131n t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259d\u0259 oldu\u011funu hiss edib, \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131nd\u0131qca \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131n\u0131r, onu m\u00fcdafi\u0259 etm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. X\u0131r\u00e7\u0131lt\u0131ya b\u0259nz\u0259r bir s\u0259s e\u015fitdim. Bu s\u0259sd\u0259n sonra anam\u0131n q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131 da dayand\u0131, amma b\u0259d\u0259ni silk\u0259l\u0259n\u0259r\u0259k t\u0259rp\u0259nirdi. H\u0259min s\u0259sin getdikc\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hiss edirdim. H\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 n\u0259 ba\u015f verdiyini anlam\u0131rd\u0131m. G\u00f6zl\u0259rimi a\u00e7anda \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc d\u00fcnyada g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Anam\u0131n isti b\u0259tnind\u0259n yar\u0131laraq \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131l\u0131b, qar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 at\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Soyuq ilikl\u0259rim\u0259 kimi i\u015fl\u0259diyind\u0259n a\u011flamaq ist\u0259dim, amma s\u0259sim \u00e7\u0131xmad\u0131. Sin\u0259md\u0259 ani bir d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tli a\u011fr\u0131 hiss etdim. A\u011fr\u0131 ke\u00e7\u0259n kimi d\u0259 i\u00e7im\u0259 sanki bir h\u00fczur doldu. Art\u0131q soyu\u011fu da hiss etmirdim. Yava\u015f \u2013 yava\u015f g\u00f6y\u0259 qalxma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. Yerd\u0259 \u00f6z c\u0259s\u0259dimi g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Onu s\u00fcng\u00fcy\u0259 ke\u00e7irib yuxar\u0131 qald\u0131rd\u0131lar v\u0259 t\u0259pikl\u0259 vurub bir d\u0259r\u0259y\u0259 atd\u0131lar. M\u0259nim c\u0259s\u0259dimd\u0259n ba\u015fqa ordak\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn c\u0259s\u0259dl\u0259ri o x\u0259nd\u0259y\u0259 t\u00f6kd\u00fcl\u0259r. Ruhum g\u00f6y\u0259 qalxandan sonra h\u0259r \u015feyi daha yax\u015f\u0131 d\u0259rk etm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flayaraq, \u0259trafa g\u00f6z g\u0259zdirdim. H\u0259r t\u0259r\u0259f insan c\u0259s\u0259dl\u0259riyl\u0259, do\u011franm\u0131\u015f meydil\u0259rl\u0259 doluydu. Anam\u0131n qarn\u0131 c\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f meyidini d\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. \u0130ndi anlad\u0131m ki, anam\u0131n qarn\u0131n\u0131 c\u0131raraq m\u0259ni ordan \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b qar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 at\u0131bm\u0131\u015flar v\u0259 sonra da s\u00fcng\u00fcy\u0259 taxaraq m\u0259ni d\u0259 \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015fl\u0259r. G\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259rimd\u0259n d\u0259h\u015f\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259ldim. \u201cBudurmu i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 d\u00fcnya dedikl\u0259ri, bu d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259lm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnm\u00fc m\u0259n anam\u0131n qarn\u0131nda s\u0259birsizl\u0259nirdim?\u201d
\nBura, C\u0259nn\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259n sonra bildim ki, m\u0259nim \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck, s\u0259kkiz ya\u015f\u0131nda bir bac\u0131m da varm\u0131\u015f. O da burdad\u0131r v\u0259 siz\u0259 salam g\u00f6nd\u0259rir. H\u0259min gec\u0259 onu da zorlayaraq \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcbl\u0259r.
\nBura \u00e7ox yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131r , m\u0259l\u0259kl\u0259r qeydimiz\u0259 qal\u0131r. H\u0259rd\u0259n m\u0259l\u0259kl\u0259r\u0259 qo\u015fulub g\u00f6y \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 qalxaraq ordan sizl\u0259ri seyr edir\u0259m. \u018fn \u00e7ox da balaca u\u015faqlara bax\u0131ram. Valideyn sevgisiyl\u0259 qay\u011f\u0131s\u0131z bir h\u0259yat ya\u015fayaraq, m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259, ba\u011f\u00e7aya gedib, isti evl\u0259rin\u0259 g\u0259lirl\u0259r. O gec\u0259 olmasayd\u0131 b\u0259lk\u0259 m\u0259nim d\u0259 bel\u0259 bir h\u0259yat\u0131m olacaqd\u0131. M\u0259n d\u0259 atam\u0131n, anam\u0131n sevgisiyl\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcyb, h\u0259r g\u00fcn bac\u0131mla oynayacaqd\u0131m. Ba\u011f\u00e7aya, m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 ged\u0259c\u0259kdim.
\nBu m\u0259ktubumu oxuyan \u0259mil\u0259r, day\u0131lar. B\u0259sdir daha isti evl\u0259rinizd\u0259 yat\u0131b, bahal\u0131 ma\u015f\u0131nlar\u0131n\u0131zda g\u0259zib, rahat kreslolar\u0131n\u0131zda oturduz. Qalx\u0131n daha, qalx\u0131n al\u0131n bizim qisas\u0131m\u0131z\u0131. Qarn\u0131 c\u0131r\u0131laraq yeddi ayl\u0131q k\u00f6rp\u0259si \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131l\u0131b, s\u00fcng\u00fcy\u0259 tax\u0131lan anam\u0131n, \u015f\u0259h\u0259r k\u0259nar\u0131ndak\u0131 s\u00fcm\u00fckl\u0259ri \u00fc\u015f\u00fcy\u0259n c\u0259s\u0259dimin, zorlanark\u0259n g\u0259linciyin\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 olmas\u0131n dey\u0259, onu b\u0259rk \u2013 b\u0259rk qucaqlayan s\u0259kkiz ya\u015fl\u0131 bac\u0131m\u0131n v\u0259 y\u00fczl\u0259rl\u0259 bizim kimil\u0259rin qisas\u0131n\u0131 al\u0131n. Ax\u0131 biz s\u0131radan bir Xocal\u0131 sakinl\u0259ri deyilik. M\u0259n sizin d\u0259 \u00f6vlad\u0131n\u0131zam, zorlanaraq \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcl\u0259n bac\u0131m sizin d\u0259 bac\u0131n\u0131zd\u0131r, sizin d\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131zd\u0131r ax\u0131. N\u0259 vaxta q\u0259d\u0259r ild\u0259 bir d\u0259f\u0259 bizi yad edib sonra unudacaqs\u0131z. N\u0259 vaxta q\u0259d\u0259r i\u00e7iniz, vicdan\u0131n\u0131z bu q\u0259d\u0259r rahat olacaq? Yalvar\u0131ram siz\u0259 ay \u0259mil\u0259r, day\u0131lar ruhumuzun burda rahatl\u0131q tapmas\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn qisas\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 yerd\u0259 qoymay\u0131n!…<\/p>\n

Yaz\u0131ya 613 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Salam. Bu m\u0259ktubu siz\u0259 C\u0259nn\u0259td\u0259n g\u00f6nd\u0259rir\u0259m. Bir vaxtlar m\u0259n anam\u0131n isti b\u0259tnind\u0259, d\u00fcnyadan x\u0259b\u0259rsiz bir k\u00f6rp\u0259 idim. C\u0259mi bir ne\u00e7\u0259 ay qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 d\u00fcnyaya g\u00f6z a\u00e7ma\u011f\u0131ma. Anam h\u0259r g\u00fcn m\u0259niml\u0259 \u015firin \u2013 \u015firin s\u00f6hb\u0259t edir, m\u0259nim do\u011fulaca\u011f\u0131m g\u00fcn\u00fc h\u0259s\u0259dl\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi. H\u0259rd\u0259n atam da \u0259lini anam\u0131n qarn\u0131na qoyub, m\u0259ni orda \u0259zizl\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k oynad\u0131rd\u0131. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n nec\u0259 bir yer oldu\u011funu […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13691"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13691"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13691\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13692,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13691\/revisions\/13692"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13691"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13691"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13691"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}