{"id":18673,"date":"2023-04-17T22:36:30","date_gmt":"2023-04-17T17:36:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=18673"},"modified":"2023-04-17T22:36:30","modified_gmt":"2023-04-17T17:36:30","slug":"%c9%99zizaga-elsev%c9%99r-sevgi-olmur-yasayir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=18673","title":{"rendered":"\u018fziza\u011fa Elsev\u0259r – Sevgi \u00f6lm\u00fcr , ya\u015fay\u0131r\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"41406017_291144274810217_1079621380825153536_n\"<\/a> (Hekay\u0259)<\/p>\n

Kim deyir ki, sevgi \u00f6l\u00fcr?! Sevgi\u00a0 \u00f6lm\u00fcr, ya\u015fay\u0131r. Valideyin, Yurd, Torpaq, V\u0259t\u0259n sevgisi, bac\u0131-qarda\u015f sevgisi, sonalanm\u0131\u015f bir g\u00f6z\u0259lin qism\u0259tin\u0259 b\u0259l\u0259nmi\u015f taleh sevgisi he\u00e7 vaxt, he\u00e7 vaxt \u00f6lm\u00fcr. H\u0259r a\u00e7\u0131lan sabah, h\u0259r do\u011fulan g\u00fcn\u0259\u015f kimi t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n do\u011fulub ya\u015fay\u0131r.<\/p>\n

– M\u0259cid, qadan al\u0131m, s\u0259n Allah, bir s\u00f6z des\u0259m incim\u0259zs\u0259n ki?! -\u015eam yem\u0259yind\u0259n sonra K\u00f6n\u00fcl xan\u0131m s\u00fcfr\u0259ni y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fd\u0131ra-y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fd\u0131ra \u0259rin\u0259 dedi: – S\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n bel\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r ki, m\u0259rh\u0259m\u0259tinin bollu\u011fundan bu yay da yen\u0259 ail\u0259likc\u0259 istirah\u0259t\u0259 ged\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259yik?!<\/p>\n

– Neyl\u0259yim, ay K\u00f6n\u00fcl, ay can\u0131m! Vallah, \u00fcz\u00fcyum\u015faql\u0131q deyil, \u00e7ox t\u0259kid etdim. H\u0259tta s\u0259hh\u0259timi d\u0259 b\u0259han\u0259\u00a0 g\u0259tirdim, olmad\u0131. Rektordur…t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259m olub! Xasiyy\u0259timi yax\u015f\u0131 bilir. D\u00fczl\u00fcy\u0259, t\u0259mizliy\u0259 \u00e7ox meyllidir. T\u0259z\u0259 g\u0259lib, h\u0259l\u0259 i\u015fin i\u00e7in\u0259 tam gir\u0259 bilm\u0259yib. El\u0259 bilirs\u0259n ham\u0131ya arxay\u0131nd\u0131r? Yox, arxay\u0131n deyil. Ancaq sa\u011f olsun, \u00e7oxlar\u0131n\u0131n k\u00fcrk\u00fcn\u0259 bir\u0259 sal\u0131b. \u00dcz\u0259 vurmasalar da, q\u0131r\u0131mlar\u0131 \u00e7ox \u015feyd\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259r verir. El\u0259 bil bazarlar\u0131 ba\u011flan\u0131b, daha saxta n\u00f6mr\u0259l\u0259ri d\u0259 i\u015f\u0259 ke\u00e7mir, \u0259vv\u0259lki kimi at oynada bilmirl\u0259r. Deyirs\u0259n, g\u00fcv\u0259nc yerini d\u0259 \u0259lind\u0259n al\u0131m, qurdlar s\u00fcfr\u0259sind\u0259, meydanda t\u0259k qoyum? Yaz\u0131q deyilmi… qurd-qu\u015f bas\u0131b yesin?! \u0130nsaf\u0131n nec\u0259 yol verir… H\u0259\u0259, \u00f6z\u00fcn de, m\u0259nim yerim\u0259 s\u0259n olsayd\u0131n, n\u0259 ed\u0259rdin? Daban\u0131na t\u00fcp\u00fcr\u00fcb, istirah\u0259t ad\u0131yla da\u011fa-da\u015fa qa\u00e7ard\u0131n?! Ax\u0131 meydan g\u0259r\u0259k bo\u015f olmas\u0131n, bo\u015f qalanda, \u00f6z\u00fcn bilirs\u0259n ki, qurd-qu\u015f y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015f\u0131r. Bax, bir t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n, niy\u0259 ax\u0131ra q\u0259d\u0259r d\u00fcz ola bilmirik, deyirik. O biri t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n d\u0259 d\u00fczl\u00fck, \u0259dal\u0259t yaratmaq ist\u0259y\u0259nin arxas\u0131nda ax\u0131ra q\u0259d\u0259r durmaq ist\u0259mirik. H\u0259yatdak\u0131 faci\u0259miz d\u0259 bundad\u0131r. Niy\u0259, niy\u0259 qolumuzu \u00e7\u0131rmay\u0131b m\u0259rdi-m\u0259rdan\u0259 ax\u0131ra q\u0259d\u0259r d\u00f6y\u00fc\u015f\u0259 bilmirik. Bel\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r ki, yalan\u00e7\u0131 q\u0259hr\u0259manl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n s\u0259rh\u0259ddi evimizin k\u0259ndar\u0131na, \u015f\u0259xsi mara\u011f\u0131m\u0131za toxunana q\u0259d\u0259rdir? Ondan o yana n\u0259 olursa olsun, kimi yand\u0131r\u0131rsa yand\u0131rs\u0131n, daha bizi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcrm\u00fcr?!<\/p>\n

– Niy\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcrm\u00fcr, can\u0131m-g\u00f6z\u00fcm, ax\u0131 s\u0259n niy\u0259 birt\u0259r\u0259fli d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrs\u0259n! B\u0259s s\u0259hh\u0259tin d\u0259 biz\u0259, u\u015faqlar\u0131m\u0131za laz\u0131m deyil?! M\u0259g\u0259r istirah\u0259t bizim aln\u0131m\u0131za yaz\u0131lmay\u0131b, biz\u0259 yara\u015fm\u0131r? Biz d\u0259 g\u00fcn i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b bir doyunca, \u00fcr\u0259ka\u00e7\u0131ql\u0131\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 istirah\u0259t ets\u0259k, g\u00fcnahm\u0131 olar? N\u0259 vaxta q\u0259d\u0259r yay\u0131n c\u0131rrama istisind\u0259 otaqlar\u0131n enini, uzununu \u00f6l\u00e7m\u0259liyik , h\u0259\u0259… G\u00f6r ne\u00e7\u0259 ildir q\u0259bul imtahan\u0131nda olursan, quru maa\u015fdan savay\u0131 bir \u015fey g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u00fck? Quru sa\u011f olnan qar\u0131nm\u0131 doyur? Doyursa, de, biz d\u0259 bil\u0259k! U\u015faqlar, allah saxlas\u0131n, b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fcr, b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fckc\u0259 el\u0259 d\u0259rdl\u0259ri-s\u0259rl\u0259ri, qay\u011f\u0131lar\u0131 da \u00f6zl\u0259ri kimi b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fcr. O g\u00fcn \u201cAraz\u201d marketd\u0259 \u015e\u0259fiq\u0259ni g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. S\u0259nin professor dostun M\u00fcrs\u0259lin arvad\u0131 \u015e\u0259fiq\u0259ni deyir\u0259m. Ki\u00e7ik o\u011flu il\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. Zal\u0131m\u0131n q\u0131z\u0131 el\u0259 bil dilotu yemi\u015fdi. Deyir, bu yay\u0131 Q\u0131r\u011f\u0131z\u0131stana, \u0130ss\u0131k-Kula dinc\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259 ged\u0259c\u0259yik. Bir yax\u0131n dostumuz d\u0259v\u0259t edib.<\/p>\n

– Getsin d\u0259, n\u0259 olar ged\u0259nd\u0259! \u0130ndi al\u0259min qar\u0131\u015fan, h\u0259r \u015feyin t\u0259rsin\u0259 yozulan vaxt\u0131d\u0131r. A\u011fl\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131nda olan evd\u0259n q\u0131ra\u011fam\u0131 \u00e7\u0131xar?! S\u0259br el\u0259, biz d\u0259 T\u00fcrkiy\u0259y\u0259 ged\u0259rik, \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 Antalyaya! He\u00e7 bilirs\u0259n, nec\u0259 yerdir? Ged\u0259nl\u0259r ham\u0131s\u0131 t\u0259rifl\u0259yir. Deyirl\u0259r, t\u0259miz c\u0259nn\u0259tdir. Getm\u0259y\u0259 d\u0259y\u0259r, nec\u0259 olsa, h\u0259m d\u0259 qarda\u015f \u00f6lk\u0259dir, t\u0259bi\u0259ti d\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259l…<\/p>\n

– Vallah, s\u0259n ancaq \u015firin \u015f\u0259d verirs\u0259n. V\u0259d verm\u0259kd\u0259n v\u0259d\u0259baz da olmu\u015fuq. Soru\u015fmaq ay\u0131b olmas\u0131n, Antalyaya n\u0259yn\u0259n ged\u0259c\u0259yik, ilboyu q\u0259na\u0259t edib y\u0131\u011fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z pul he\u00e7 ona b\u0259s ed\u0259rmi?! Be\u015f n\u0259f\u0259rin x\u0259rci he\u00e7 bilirs\u0259n n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r edir?<\/p>\n

– B\u0259s \u015e\u0259fiq\u0259gil gedir, biz ged\u0259 bilmirik? El\u0259 bilirs\u0259n onlar\u0131n x\u0259rci az edir? M\u00fcrs\u0259lin orda \u0259misi o\u011flu var, deyir, yax\u015f\u0131 v\u0259zif\u0259d\u0259dir. \u0130mkan\u0131 da pis deyil. O, m\u0259nfur Sovetl\u0259rin otuzuncu ill\u0259rd\u0259 ora s\u00fcrg\u00fcn etdikl\u0259rinin u\u015faqlar\u0131ndand\u0131r. Oxuyublar, s\u0131x\u0131nt\u0131dan da bir t\u0259h\u0259r \u00e7\u0131x\u0131blar, \u0259ll\u0259ri \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7at\u0131b. M\u00fcrs\u0259lin dediyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, \u0259misi o\u011flu nazir m\u00fcavinidir. Nazir m\u00fcavini olmaq da bilirs\u0259n n\u0259 dem\u0259kdir? Deyir, t\u0259ki siz g\u0259lin, g\u00f6r\u00fcn Siz\u0259 nec\u0259 qulluq edir\u0259m.<\/p>\n

– Bel\u0259 de d\u0259, ay \u0259zizim! \u015e\u0259fiq\u0259 d\u0259 gur-gur gurulday\u0131r.\u018fri professordur, b\u0259s bizimki, ay\u0131b olmas\u0131n, professor deyil, balqabaqd\u0131r?! Maa\u015f h\u0259min h\u0259min maa\u015fd\u0131r. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm, nec\u0259 olur onlar ged\u0259 bilir, biz is\u0259 yox?!<\/p>\n

– He\u00e7 s\u0259nd\u0259n g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259zdim. S\u0259nin dediyind\u0259n bel\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r ki, qon\u015fudan qalma dala?!<\/p>\n

– He\u00e7 bilirs\u0259n, q\u0131z\u0131m\u0131z n\u0259 deyir? M\u0259zuniyy\u0259td\u0259n sonra i\u015f\u0259 qay\u0131danlar harda istirah\u0259t etdikl\u0259rind\u0259n a\u011f\u0131z dolusu dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r. \u00c7\u0259kdikl\u0259ri \u015f\u0259kill\u0259ri ortal\u0131\u011fa t\u00f6k\u00fcr. M\u0259n is\u0259… n\u0259 deyim, a\u011fz\u0131ma su al\u0131b susuram. Deyir\u0259m, atama g\u00f6r\u0259 he\u00e7 yer\u0259 ged\u0259 bilmirik. Ax\u0131 q\u0259bul imtahan\u0131d\u0131r, ciddi d\u00f6vl\u0259t i\u015fidir. Neyl\u0259m\u0259k olar, el\u0259 bilirs\u0259n h\u0259r adam\u0131 orda saxlay\u0131rlar?! H\u0259tta b\u0259zil\u0259ri zarafata sal\u0131b atmaca da at\u0131r:\u201d Y\u0259qin mara\u011f\u0131 var! Olmasa, \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 can\u0131n\u0131za niy\u0259 q\u0259sd edir ki?!\u201d-deyirl\u0259r.<\/p>\n

– S\u0259n d\u0259 inan\u0131rsan? Bunu d\u0259rd edib \u00fcr\u0259yin\u0259 sal\u0131rsan? Desinl\u0259r d\u0259, hans\u0131 d\u00fcz i\u015f\u0259 qulp qoymay\u0131blar ki…<\/p>\n

– Yox, \u00fcr\u0259yim\u0259 salm\u0131ram. O n\u0259dir ki, \u00fcr\u0259yim\u0259 salam. Ancaq m\u0259ni a\u011fr\u0131dan odur ki, i\u00e7im \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc yand\u0131r\u0131r, \u00e7\u00f6l\u00fcm \u00f6zg\u0259sini…<\/p>\n

… Vaxt\u0131yla M\u0259cidin qoynu no\u011fullu-nabatl\u0131 xan\u0131m-xat\u0131n n\u0259n\u0259si Tavad xala onun boynunu qucaqlay\u0131b gur, \u015f\u0259v\u0259 kimi yupyum\u015faq sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6p\u0259-\u00f6p\u0259, s\u0131\u011fallaya-s\u0131\u011fallaya dey\u0259rdi:\u201d S\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 yax\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fcl\u0259n yuxular d\u00fcz \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r, bala! El\u0259 bil qeybd\u0259n nagahani bir s\u0259s qula\u011f\u0131na p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lday\u0131r ki, \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fcn bir g\u00fcn\u00fc d\u0259 bel\u0259 \u00f6t\u0259c\u0259k. O s\u0259s\u0259 inan\u0131b g\u00fcv\u0259ndikc\u0259, qazanc\u0131n, itirdikc\u0259 itkil\u0259rin d\u0259 \u00e7ox olacaq!..\u201d D\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 s\u0131nam\u0131\u015fd\u0131 Tavad n\u0259n\u0259sinin dedikl\u0259rini, h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259n d\u0259 bel\u0259ydi. G\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259ri x\u0259yal\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259diyi yerd\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131na g\u0259lirdi. Bu s\u0259h\u0259r d\u0259 yuxu g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. R\u0259hm\u0259tlik anas\u0131n\u0131n bir zaman dediyi kimi, kim\u0259s\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmadan, ilk \u0259vv\u0259l su kran\u0131n\u0131n qaba\u011f\u0131nda dayan\u0131b onun \u015f\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131na qulaq ver\u0259-ver\u0259:\u201d Yusif pey\u011f\u0259mb\u0259r xeyir el\u0259sin! Bu n\u0259 yuxu idi, m\u0259n g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcm, Allah\u0131m?!\u201d-dodaqlar\u0131 alt\u0131nda p\u0131\u00e7\u0131ldad\u0131. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 ovuclar\u0131n\u0131 s\u0259rin su il\u0259 doldurub sif\u0259tin\u0259, boyun-bo\u011faz\u0131na vurdu. Tiftikli d\u0259smalla \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc qurulaya-qurulaya p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n \u00e7\u00f6l\u0259 baxd\u0131. H\u0259y\u0259td\u0259 sakitlik idi. Yen\u0259 h\u0259r g\u00fcnk\u00fc kimi, Nuru ki\u015fiyl\u0259 M\u0259xm\u0259r arvad qovaq a\u011fac\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131ndak\u0131 skamyada oturub t\u0259miz hava al\u0131r, n\u0259 bar\u0259d\u0259s\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131b asta-asta g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yirdil\u0259r. \u00c7ox s\u0259mimi, mehriban, xo\u015fb\u0259xt bir ail\u0259 idil\u0259r. Allah bir az da uzun \u00f6m\u00fcr versin, q\u0131z\u0131l toylar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259kdil\u0259r. B\u00fct\u00f6v bina son g\u00fcnl\u0259r bundan dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Vaxtil\u0259 uzaq da\u011f rayonlar\u0131n\u0131n birind\u0259n g\u0259lmi\u015fdil\u0259r, el\u0259 o \u0259z\u0259m\u0259tli da\u011flar kimi da\u011f \u00f6mr\u00fc ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131lar. Xeyirxahl\u0131\u011fa, t\u0259m\u0259nnas\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011fa b\u00fcr\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f da\u011f \u00f6mr\u00fc!<\/p>\n

M\u0259cid yuxusunu sakit-sakit bir d\u0259 xat\u0131rlad\u0131. K\u0259ndin gir\u0259c\u0259yind\u0259ki d\u00f6rd yol ayr\u0131c\u0131nda, qo\u015fa \u00e7inar\u0131n alt\u0131nda dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bir az o yanda a\u011fl\u0131-qaral\u0131 ma\u015f\u0131nlar \u015f\u00fct\u00fcy\u00fcb gedirdi. \u00c7ox q\u0259rib\u0259ydi, el\u0259 bil onu he\u00e7 g\u00f6rm\u00fcr, tan\u0131m\u0131rd\u0131lar da. Ax\u0131 bu nec\u0259 olur? Bu k\u0259ndd\u0259 do\u011fulmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m\u0131, s\u0259kkiz il m\u00fc\u0259llim i\u015fl\u0259diyi m\u0259kt\u0259bin tozlu-torpaql\u0131 yolunu g\u00fcnd\u0259 n\u0259 az, n\u0259 d\u0259 \u00e7ox iki k\u0259r\u0259 \u0259ri\u015f-ar\u011fac etm\u0259mi\u015fdimi?! Bax, el\u0259 bu vaxt cavabs\u0131z suallar i\u00e7ind\u0259 \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131nark\u0259n q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 r\u0259ngli bir \u201cJiquli\u201d q\u0259fil tormozlay\u0131b qaba\u011f\u0131nda dayand\u0131. T\u0259k\u0259rl\u0259r b\u0259rk-b\u0259rk q\u0131j\u0131lday\u0131b, qo\u015fa x\u0259tt sala-sala, toz-torpa\u011f\u0131 yerind\u0259n oynatd\u0131. S\u00fckan arxas\u0131nda oturmu\u015f, \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc yax\u015f\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259 bilm\u0259diyi qad\u0131n\u0131n tan\u0131\u015f, do\u011fma s\u0259sini e\u015fitdi: \u201cOturun, m\u00fc\u0259llim, oturun ged\u0259k!\u201d Bilm\u0259di, ma\u015f\u0131na oturdu, yoxsa-yox! Ax\u015famdan qurdu\u011fu saat\u0131n z\u0259ngi \u00e7al\u0131nd\u0131. Yuxulu g\u00f6zl\u0259rini a\u00e7\u0131b yerind\u0259 qurcaland\u0131. K\u00f6n\u00fcl i\u00e7\u0259ri girib:\u201d S\u00fcfr\u0259 haz\u0131rd\u0131r. Bilirs\u0259n d\u0259 imtahana ged\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n!..\u201d-dedi. M\u0259cid q\u0131m\u0131ldanmadan g\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259rini anbaan t\u0259krar xat\u0131rlad\u0131. Yox, daha ard\u0131 g\u0259lm\u0259di. Yuxunun yuxu \u00f6mr\u00fc q\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, yuxu yadda\u015f\u0131 pozulmu\u015fdu. Ke\u00e7\u0259n boz, bo\u015f anlarsa o \u015firinliyi, o sirri, m\u00fc\u0259mman\u0131sa saxlaya bilm\u0259mi\u015fdi. Hay\u0131f, yuxu \u00f6mr\u00fc d\u0259 \u00f6m\u00fcrd\u0259n ke\u00e7\u0259n bir iz, bir xatir\u0259dir. N\u0259 olsun ki, s\u0259nd\u0259n ba\u015fqa onu kims\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u00fcr.<\/p>\n

…\u0130ki saatdan \u00e7ox idi ki, ixtisasart\u0131rma fak\u00fclt\u0259sind\u0259 d\u00f6vl\u0259t imtahan\u0131 gedirdi. K\u0259sil\u0259n, naraz\u0131 qalan yox idi. Bu, i\u00e7\u0259rid\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xanlar\u0131n h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tind\u0259n, xo\u015f, t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm dolu bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131ndan da apayd\u0131n oxunurdu.<\/p>\n

-Sevinc \u015eamxall\u0131!- qap\u0131da dayanan cavan o\u011flan\u0131n s\u0259si komissiyan\u0131n s\u0259dri M\u0259cid \u00c7\u0131raql\u0131n\u0131 (M\u0259cid m\u00fc\u0259llimi d\u00fczl\u00fcy\u00fcn\u0259, t\u0259mizliyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259l\u0259ri \u00e7ox sevirdi. H\u0259tta o d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259d\u0259 ki, ona M\u0259cid \u00c7\u0131raql\u0131 yox, el\u0259 \u00e7ox zaman da M\u0259cid \u0130nsafl\u0131\u00a0 deyirdil\u0259r.) diksindirdi. \u018flind\u0259 tutdu\u011fu armudu st\u0259kan yer\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb \u00e7ilikl\u0259ndi. Yax\u015f\u0131 ki, yar\u0131ya q\u0259d\u0259r i\u00e7mi\u015fdi, \u00e7ox da isti deyildi. – \u00dczr ist\u0259yir\u0259m!.. yax\u015f\u0131 ki, \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fcz\u0259 t\u00f6k\u00fclm\u0259di. \u2013 M\u0259cid m\u00fc\u0259llim \u00fczrxahl\u0131q etdi. T\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb\u00fcn\u00fc, h\u0259y\u0259can\u0131n\u0131 gizl\u0259tm\u0259d\u0259n, \u0259yilib st\u0259kan\u0131n q\u0131r\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 y\u0131\u011fa-y\u0131\u011fa: – Ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n, nec\u0259 dediniz, o\u011flum?- soru\u015fdu. \u0130\u00e7ind\u0259 el\u0259 bil q\u0259fil t\u0259lat\u00fcm oyand\u0131. Bu, o idi. M\u0259cidin uzaq ill\u0259rin arxas\u0131nda qoyub g\u0259ldiyi Sevinc!.. Sevinc \u015eamxall\u0131 idi. M\u0259n n\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m… bu nec\u0259 olur, Allah\u0131m?! Zal\u0131m\u0131n q\u0131z\u0131 he\u00e7 el\u0259 bil d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259mi\u015fdi. Yel kimi \u00f6t\u00fcb ke\u00e7\u0259n zaman, el\u0259 bil ki, onu g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015fdi, ondan yan ke\u00e7mi\u015fdi. He\u00e7 o xurmay\u0131 tell\u0259rin\u0259 d\u0259 toxunmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131, \u00e7\u00f6hr\u0259sin\u0259 q\u0131r\u0131\u015f-q\u0131r\u0131\u015f ill\u0259rin y\u00fck\u00fcn\u00fc d\u0259 \u00e7atmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u018fnlik-kir\u015fan da vurmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, o ill\u0259rin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc s\u0131\u011fallay\u0131b d\u00fcz\u0259ld\u0259. H\u0259r \u015fey o, \u00f6t\u0259n ill\u0259rd\u0259ki kimi idi. Yox, b\u0259lk\u0259 el\u0259 deyildi. B\u0259lk\u0259 M\u0259cid\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi. Ola bilm\u0259zdi ki, zaman n\u0259yis\u0259 \u0259ll\u0259rind\u0259n al\u0131b aparmas\u0131n. \u00d6t\u0259n o ill\u0259rin dolaylar\u0131nda itirib bat\u0131rmas\u0131n? Ax\u0131 zaman amans\u0131zd\u0131r, m\u0259rh\u0259m\u0259tli deyildir. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, M\u0259cidin i\u00e7ind\u0259ki oyalanan xatir\u0259 i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 idi. K\u00f6nl\u00fcnd\u0259n g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcb i\u015f\u0131q-i\u015f\u0131q parlay\u0131rd\u0131. Sevinci arxada qalm\u0131\u015f o ill\u0259rin sevinci i\u00e7ind\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fc. M\u0259cid onda da yaz\u0131rd\u0131. Ara-s\u0131ra m\u0259rk\u0259zi m\u0259tbuatda da \u00e7ap olunurdu. Ancaq \u00e7oxlar\u0131 kimi, Sevinc d\u0259 buna adi m\u0259\u015f\u011fuliyy\u0259t, ke\u00e7ib-ged\u0259si h\u0259v\u0259s kimi bax\u0131rd\u0131. M\u0259cidin h\u0259r t\u0259z\u0259 hekay\u0259si \u00e7ap olunanda, kims\u0259 t\u0259rifl\u0259yib t\u0259brik ed\u0259nd\u0259, o da\u00a0 M\u0259cid\u0259 \u201cYen\u0259 s\u0259r\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n, b\u00f6c\u0259kl\u0259rd\u0259n yazm\u0131san?\u201d-soru\u015fub, y\u00fcng\u00fclc\u0259 t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcml\u0259n\u0259r, onu bir az da c\u0131rnatmaq, \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xartmaq ist\u0259yind\u0259n, el\u0259 bil ki, l\u0259zz\u0259t alard\u0131. M\u0259cid Sevincin i\u00e7ind\u0259n ke\u00e7\u0259nl\u0259ri g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259n oxuyar, incim\u0259z v\u0259 bunlar\u0131 \u015f\u0131ltaq \u015f\u0259h\u0259rli q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n m\u0259z\u0259li atmacas\u0131 kimi \u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259rdi.T\u0259bi\u0259ti \u00e7ox sevirdi M\u0259cid. Bo\u015f vaxtlar\u0131nda \u00e7ay\u0131n o tay\u0131ndak\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fcm, k\u0259ndin arxas\u0131ndak\u0131 meyv\u0259 ba\u011flar\u0131na g\u0259zm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131. Pay\u0131z\u0131, n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 \u00e7ox sevirdi. Pay\u0131zda el\u0259 bil ki, ba\u011flar dil a\u00e7\u0131b dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r, h\u0259zin, \u00e7ox k\u00f6vr\u0259k bir s\u0259sl\u0259 onu \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131r, \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. Sonsuz s\u0259man\u0131n g\u0259rd\u0259nind\u0259n boyunba\u011f\u0131 kimi as\u0131lan durna qatar\u0131 M\u0259cidi x\u0259yalland\u0131r\u0131r, fikirl\u0259rini \u00e7\u0259kib uzaqlara, \u00e7ox uzaqlara apar\u0131rd\u0131. M\u0259cid narahat idi, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc axtar\u0131rd\u0131. Bu yerl\u0259rd\u0259 do\u011fulsa da, n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 s\u0131x\u0131l\u0131r, adamlarla qaynay\u0131b qar\u0131\u015fa bilmirdi. D\u0259rsi qurtaran kimi ev\u0259 qay\u0131d\u0131r, o biri m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259r kimi m\u0259kt\u0259bin h\u0259y\u0259tind\u0259ki bufetd\u0259 \u00e7ay, bulku qonaql\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan domino oynam\u0131r, \u015fe\u015f qo\u015fa atm\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259rd\u0259n b\u0259zil\u0259rinin \u201c y\u0259qin simiclik edir\u201d dedikl\u0259ri qulaqlar\u0131na da \u00e7at\u0131rd\u0131. Bunu kimin dediyi, niy\u0259 dediyinin f\u0259rqin\u0259 d\u0259 varm\u0131r, he\u00e7 \u0259h\u0259miyy\u0259t d\u0259 vermirdi. Kimd\u0259ns\u0259 k\u00fcsm\u00fcr, incimirdi d\u0259. H\u0259rd\u0259n d\u0259 ac\u0131\u011fa, oturmasa da, bir g\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n may\u0131f bufet\u00e7iy\u0259, \u201c Burda oturan m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259r\u0259 \u00e7ay, bulku qonaql\u0131\u011f\u0131 m\u0259nd\u0259n!..\u201d \u2013 deyib stolun \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 pul da atard\u0131. \u00c7ay\u00e7\u0131 M\u0259rdal\u0131 may\u0131f g\u00f6zl\u0259rini oynada-oynada onu s\u00fcz\u0259r, bo\u015f bir stolu \u00e7iynind\u0259n asd\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u0259smalla sil\u0259-sil\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yib: \u201c Otur, otur, \u0259min s\u0259n\u0259 bir xoruzquyru\u011fu \u00e7ay d\u0259ml\u0259sin, mix\u0259k qat\u0131\u015f\u0131ql\u0131, i\u00e7\u0259s\u0259n, sonra da dey\u0259rs\u0259n ki, \u0259sil \u00e7ay nec\u0259 olur!..\u201d -s\u00f6yl\u0259yib i\u00e7\u0259ri \u00e7\u0259k\u0259rdi. M\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259r yer-yerd\u0259n q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131\u015far, M\u0259cidi alq\u0131\u015flay\u0131b bufet\u00e7inin g\u0259tirdiyi k\u00fcnc\u00fctl\u00fc, ki\u015fmi\u015fli, i\u00e7i ball\u0131 bulkular\u0131 el\u0259 h\u0259v\u0259sl\u0259, el\u0259 i\u015ftahla yey\u0259rdil\u0259r ki, he\u00e7 oynay\u0131b, daha \u00f6zl\u0259rini yorma\u011fa da ehtiyac qalmazd\u0131. \u00c7ay i\u00e7\u0259-i\u00e7\u0259 a\u011f\u0131zlar\u0131 q\u0131z\u0131\u015far, gah siyas\u0259td\u0259n, gah futboldan dan\u0131\u015far, sonra da uzaq-uzaq \u00f6lk\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n geri qay\u0131dan adamlar kimi, yorulub k\u0259ndin d\u0259rd-s\u0259rl\u0259ri \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 dayanard\u0131lar.<\/p>\n

O idi. X\u0259yal d\u00fcnyas\u0131ndan qopub g\u0259lmi\u015f h\u0259qiq\u0259t i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 idi. M\u0259cid \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc b\u00fcsb\u00fct\u00fcn itirmi\u015fdi. Kimin n\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, nec\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259sind\u0259 c\u0259ml\u0259\u015fdir\u0259 bilmirdi. \u0130\u00e7ind\u0259 oyalanan xatir\u0259l\u0259rin i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u0259riyir, o hissin, o duy\u011funun ala-toranl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda itib-bat\u0131rd\u0131. \u00d6t\u00fcb ke\u00e7\u0259n ill\u0259r yadda\u015f\u0131n\u0131n yaxas\u0131ndan as\u0131l\u0131r, v\u0259r\u0259ql\u0259nib \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131m\u0131r, dan\u0131\u015fmaq, dan\u0131\u015fmaq ist\u0259yirdi… K\u00f6vr\u0259k arzular\u0131n\u0131n c\u0131\u011f\u0131r\u0131na d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015fdi.\u00a0 Onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn uzaq, \u0259l\u00e7atmaz, m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259li g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259. \u018fvv\u0259l-\u0259vv\u0259l uy\u011funla\u015fa bilmir, \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259: \u201c Oturmu\u015fdum da k\u0259ndd\u0259! Ax\u0131 n\u0259 i\u015fim vard\u0131 bu \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259…\u201d \u2013 deyib \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc q\u0131nay\u0131r, min k\u0259r\u0259 danlay\u0131rd\u0131. Ax\u015famlar qaranl\u0131q d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 \u015f\u0259h\u0259rin q\u0259rib gec\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n s\u0131x\u0131l\u0131r, n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 h\u0259r g\u00fcn yuxular\u0131nda k\u0259nd\u0259 qay\u0131d\u0131r, sinif otaqlar\u0131nda yen\u0259 d\u0259rs ke\u00e7ir, tozlu-torpaql\u0131 yollar\u0131 \u0259ri\u015f-ar\u011fac edir, anas\u0131n\u0131n s\u00fcfr\u0259si, bi\u015firdiyi yem\u0259kl\u0259ri \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn b\u0259rk dar\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131. Q\u0259rib\u0259ydi, \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 k\u0259nd \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, k\u0259ndd\u0259 \u015f\u0259h\u0259r \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn dar\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131. He\u00e7 s\u0259b\u0259bi \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 d\u0259 b\u0259lli olmayan narahat bir \u00f6m\u00fcr ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc axtar\u0131rd\u0131, ancaq axtard\u0131\u011f\u0131 o \u00f6z\u00fc hans\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015fd\u0259, hans\u0131 bi\u00e7imd\u0259ydi h\u0259l\u0259 bilmirdi. K\u00f6vr\u0259k, h\u0259zin duy\u011fular\u0131 s\u00f6z-s\u00f6z \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131n\u0131r, elmin i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7ind\u0259 g\u00f6y\u0259rdikc\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259, ilahi, b\u0259mb\u0259yaz bir d\u00fcnya f\u0259crin q\u0131z\u0131l\u0131-\u00e7\u0259hray\u0131 \u015f\u0259f\u0259ql\u0259rin\u0259 b\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

Ail\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tinliyi, ziyanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u0259ym\u0259sin dey\u0259 n\u0259\u015friyyatda i\u015f\u0259 d\u0259 d\u00fcz\u0259lmi\u015fdi. Redaktor idi. N\u0259\u015friyyat\u0131n i\u015fi, kitabxanalar, arxivl\u0259r ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 o q\u0259d\u0259r qatm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, \u00e7ox zaman g\u00fcn\u00fcn hardan ba\u015flay\u0131b harda bitdiyini d\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 xat\u0131rlaya bilmirdi. H\u0259l\u0259 \u00fcst\u0259lik, ilham\u0131 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259, \u00fcr\u0259yini c\u0131rmaqlay\u0131b \u201c m\u0259ni d\u0259, m\u0259ni d\u0259 yaz!\u201d- dey\u0259nd\u0259 sanki bu d\u00fcnyadan ayr\u0131l\u0131b tamam bir \u00f6zg\u0259 adam olurdu. Duy\u011fulu anlar\u0131 \u00e7ox olurdu. Bir h\u0259zin\u00a0 musiqi dinl\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259, k\u0259d\u0259rli \u015feir oxuyanda k\u00f6vr\u0259lm\u0259yi, dolumsunub a\u011flama\u011f\u0131 da var idi. Bay\u0131lda tatar qad\u0131n\u0131 Naziyan\u0131n ( ona h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 Naza deyirdil\u0259r) \u00e7ox da b\u00f6y\u00fck olmayan h\u0259y\u0259t evind\u0259 kiray\u0259ni\u015fin qal\u0131rd\u0131. \u018fri ma\u015f\u0131n q\u0259zas\u0131nda \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. T\u0259kc\u0259 bir q\u0131z \u00f6vlad\u0131 var idi. O da Kazan universitetind\u0259 oxuyark\u0259n, h\u00fcquq fak\u00fclt\u0259sinin sonuncu kursunda bir erm\u0259ni o\u011flana qo\u015fulub qa\u00e7m\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130ndi Kazanda h\u00fcquq\u015f\u00fcnas\u00a0 i\u015fl\u0259yirdi. Naziyan\u0131n erm\u0259nil\u0259rd\u0259n he\u00e7 d\u0259 xo\u015fu g\u0259lmirdi. T\u0259rs kimi, burda qonum-qon\u015fular\u0131 da erm\u0259ni idi. Vallah, Allah bu erm\u0259ni mill\u0259tini, el\u0259 bil ki, onun-bunun haqq\u0131n\u0131 yem\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yaratm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Erm\u0259ni qon\u015fular\u0131 t\u0259k-t\u0259nha ya\u015fayan Naziyan\u0131 incidib qa\u00e7\u0131rmaq, d\u0259y\u0259r-d\u0259ym\u0259zin\u0259 evin\u0259 yiy\u0259 durmaq ist\u0259yirdil\u0259r. Bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259d\u0259 JEK-d\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259n \u00a0erm\u0259ni m\u00fch\u0259ndis Joran\u0131n da barma\u011f\u0131 var idi. M\u0259cidin bu h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 girm\u0259sind\u0259n sonra Naziyan\u0131 daha incitmirdil\u0259r. Daha \u015f\u0259rl\u0259yib, psixi poz\u011funlu\u011funu b\u0259han\u0259 g\u0259tir\u0259r\u0259k \u0259vv\u0259lki kimi tez-tez d\u0259lixanaya, milis\u0259 z\u0259ng \u00e7alm\u0131r, qaranl\u0131\u011fa sal\u0131b evinin i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, suyunu k\u0259smir, da\u015f at\u0131b p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259sinin h\u00f6r\u00fcm\u00e7\u0259k toru basm\u0131\u015f, \u00f6z\u00fc kimi sol\u011fun, k\u00fcsg\u00fcn aynalar\u0131n\u0131 q\u0131rm\u0131rd\u0131lar. K\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259, orda-burda tum satmaqla dolanan Naziya M\u0259cid\u0259 g\u00fcv\u0259nib \u00f6y\u00fcn\u00fcr, qon\u015fulara, el\u0259 JEK-in \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 d\u0259: \u201c Bax\u0131n haa, jurnalistd\u0131r…redaktordur. Aya\u011f\u0131n\u0131zi d\u0259ng tutun!..\u201d-deyib h\u0259d\u0259-qrxu da g\u0259lirdi. Daha Jora buralarda f\u0131rlanm\u0131r, erm\u0259nil\u0259rl\u0259 him-ciml\u0259\u015fmirdi.<\/p>\n

T\u0259k-t\u0259nha qad\u0131n\u0131n-Naziyan\u0131n h\u0259l\u0259 can\u0131 suluydu, duy\u011fular\u0131 da var idi. Hissl\u0259rini gizl\u0259d\u0259 bilmirdi. Ya\u015f f\u0259rqi olsa da, M\u0259cidd\u0259n el\u0259 bil n\u0259yis\u0259 umurdu. Tez-tez n\u0259yis\u0259 b\u0259han\u0259 edib M\u0259cidin ota\u011f\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259, gizl\u0259d\u0259 bilm\u0259diyi bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131nda q\u0259rib\u0259 bir al\u0259m oxunurdu. M\u0259cid q\u0131z kimi h\u0259yal\u0131 idi, utan\u0131rd\u0131. O bax\u0131\u015flarda \u0259rim\u0259k, \u00fcz\u00fclm\u0259k, ucuz, y\u00fcng\u00fcl bir hiss ya\u015famaq ist\u0259mirdi. Naziyasa Naziyal\u0131\u011f\u0131nda idi. Gah t\u0259z\u0259 paltar\u0131n\u0131 geyinib g\u0259lir, gah \u201cYerin m\u0259lum! Hamamdan g\u0259lmi\u015f\u0259m. Buran\u0131n hamam\u0131 he\u00e7 bilirs\u0259n nec\u0259dir? C\u0259nn\u0259tdir ey, vallah, c\u0259nn\u0259t!..\u201d-deyib yaxas\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131r, gah da bi\u015firdiyi bor\u015fdan, a\u015fdan bir qab doldurub g\u0259lirdi. Ancaq M\u0259cid he\u00e7 vaxt \u201cs\u0259rh\u0259ddi\u201d ke\u00e7mir, Naziyan\u0131n bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131ndan tutub kitab kimi i\u00e7ini oxusa da, soyuq bir da\u015f kimi lal, t\u0259rp\u0259nm\u0259z olurdu. M\u0259cid \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 Naziyan\u0131 q\u0131nam\u0131r, ondan q\u0259tiyy\u0259n incimirdi d\u0259. Qad\u0131n idi. Hissiyyat\u0131n\u0131 bo\u011fa bilm\u0259y\u0259n t\u0259k-t\u0259nha qad\u0131n. G\u0259l\u0259ni, ged\u0259ni yox idi. G\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fc, aboy ka\u011f\u0131zlar\u0131 orda-burda qopmu\u015f, c\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f soyuq divarlar idi. Ax\u015famlar yerin\u0259 qor t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcr, yuxusu \u0259r\u015f\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kilir, yerind\u0259 qurcalansa da, yuxusu g\u0259lmirdi ki, g\u0259lmirdi. Ya\u015famaqdan bezmi\u015fdi. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc d\u0259niz\u0259 atmaq, k\u00f6p\u00fckl\u00fc sularda bo\u011fulmaq, bu fani d\u00fcnyadan \u0259l \u00fczm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi. Onda da nurani sif\u0259tli bir qoca \u0259ll\u0259rind\u0259n tutub son anda saxlam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. S\u0131nay\u0131c\u0131 n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259rl\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 baxa-baxa: \u201c \u00d6m\u00fcr s\u0259nin deyil ki, q\u0131z\u0131m, \u00f6m\u00fcr Allah\u0131nd\u0131r! Ver\u0259n d\u0259, alan da odur. Onun b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u00fcy\u00fcn\u0259 \u015f\u0259k-\u015f\u00fcbh\u0259nmi var?! A\u011fl\u0131n\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131na y\u0131\u011f, qay\u0131t, qay\u0131t evin\u0259, q\u0131z\u0131m!..\u201d -deyib, k\u0259nara \u00e7\u0259kmi\u015fdi qoca. Naziy\u0259 el\u0259 bil yuxudayd\u0131, ay\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Azac\u0131q t\u00f6k\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f \u015fabal\u0131d\u0131 sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 yola-yola beynini yey\u0259n qara fikirl\u0259rd\u0259n uzaqla\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u018ftraf\u0131na baxanda, kims\u0259 yox idi. O nurani sif\u0259tli qoca nec\u0259 oldu b\u0259s? D\u0259nizin i\u00e7\u0259ril\u0259rin\u0259 uzanan k\u00f6rp\u00fcd\u0259 kims\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcrd\u00fc ax\u0131?! D\u0259niz u\u011fulday\u0131r, k\u00f6p\u00fckl\u00fc sular \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131n\u0131r, k\u00fcl\u0259yin qanadlar\u0131nda soyuq ya\u011f\u0131\u015f damc\u0131lar\u0131 k\u0259d\u0259rli pay\u0131z n\u0259\u011fm\u0259sini p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lday\u0131rd\u0131. Naziyan\u0131n islanm\u0131\u015f b\u0259d\u0259nind\u0259 bir ovuc qar\u0131\u015fqa g\u0259zirmi\u015f kimi \u00fc\u015f\u00fctm\u0259 ba\u015flay\u0131r, titr\u0259tm\u0259d\u0259n n\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259yini bilm\u0259y\u0259r\u0259k d\u0259li kimi ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131r, h\u00f6nk\u00fcr-h\u00f6nk\u00fcr a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131. Naziya o g\u00fcn s\u00fcr\u00fcn\u0259-s\u00fcr\u00fcn\u0259 g\u00fccl\u0259 evin\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. Q\u0131zma i\u00e7ind\u0259 yan\u0131rd\u0131. Tez-tez diksinir, dodaqlar\u0131 alt\u0131nda n\u0259 is\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r, say\u0131qlay\u0131rd\u0131. M\u0259cid h\u0259kim \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, dava-d\u0259rman al\u0131b g\u0259tirmi\u015fdi. D\u00fcz bir h\u0259ft\u0259d\u0259n sonra yataqdan g\u00fccl\u0259 qalxm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 Naziy\u0259. M\u0259cidin ona yaz\u0131ql\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u0259lirdi. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc, neyl\u0259sin, hissl\u0259rini bo\u011fa, qad\u0131nl\u0131q duy\u011fular\u0131n\u0131 gizl\u0259d\u0259 bilmirdi. Q\u0131zd\u0131rma i\u00e7ind\u0259 olanda da, M\u0259cidd\u0259n g\u00f6zl\u0259rini \u00e7\u0259k\u0259 bilmir, sanki d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fmi\u015f h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131n\u0131n indi xatir\u0259y\u0259 d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n cizgil\u0259rini onun \u00e7\u00f6hr\u0259sind\u0259 axtar\u0131rd\u0131. Kim bilir, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, \u0259lin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f q\u0259fil yem kimi, ucuz, \u00e7ox ucuz bir mac\u0259ra ya\u015famaq ist\u0259yirdi. \u0130nsan el\u0259 bir varl\u0131qd\u0131r ki, i\u00e7ind\u0259 g\u0259zdirdiyi sirri, b\u0259z\u0259n he\u00e7 \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 oxuya bilmir.<\/p>\n

M\u0259cidin i\u015f yeri d\u0259 el\u0259 bil q\u0131z y\u0131\u011fna\u011f\u0131 idi. \u00c7oxusunun onda g\u00f6z\u00fc var idi. Niy\u0259 d\u0259 olmas\u0131n ax\u0131?! Bir az a\u00e7\u0131q des\u0259k, t\u0259miz k\u0259nd u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 idi. H\u0259l\u0259 \u015f\u0259h\u0259r bicliyin\u0259, \u0259yriliyin\u0259 bula\u015fmam\u0131\u015f k\u0259nd u\u015fa\u011f\u0131. N\u0259 gizl\u0259d\u0259k, h\u0259l\u0259 sad\u0259l\u00f6vhl\u00fcy\u00fc, insanlara tez inanma\u011f\u0131 da var idi. Sa\u011f t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259 oturan q\u0131zla M\u0259cid eyni ild\u0259, eyni ayda do\u011fulmu\u015fdular. T\u0259kc\u0259 g\u00fcn f\u0259rqi var idi. \u00dc\u00e7c\u0259 g\u00fcn M\u0259cidd\u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck idi. Eyni b\u00fcrcd\u0259n idil\u0259r. H\u0259r\u00e7\u0259nd ki, M\u0259cid b\u00fcrc-m\u00fcrc filana o q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 inanmasa da, ancaq o, m\u00f6hk\u0259m inan\u0131r v\u0259 h\u0259r g\u00fcn evd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xanda b\u00fcrc\u00fcn\u0259 bax\u0131b, o yaz\u0131lanlara uy\u011fun \u0259hval\u0131n\u0131 k\u00f6kl\u0259yib i\u015f\u0259 g\u0259lirdi. Bir t\u0259r\u0259fi qaraba\u011fl\u0131 idi, \u015eu\u015fada d\u0259d\u0259-baba m\u00fclkl\u0259ri var idi. Atas\u0131 avtobus s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcs\u00fc idi. Ukraynada h\u0259rbi xidm\u0259td\u0259 olark\u0259n atas\u0131 anas\u0131na ili\u015fmi\u015f, ya sevmi\u015f, onu d\u0259qiq bilmirdi. Sonra da qoltu\u011funa vurub \u00f6z\u00fcyl\u0259 g\u0259tirmi\u015fdi. H\u0259r\u00e7\u0259nd ki, valideyinl\u0259ri \u0259vv\u0259l-\u0259vv\u0259l n\u0259m-g\u00fcm el\u0259s\u0259l\u0259r d\u0259, sonra \u201c daha neyl\u0259m\u0259k olar, su girdi qaba, oldu i\u00e7m\u0259li!\u201d-deyib raz\u0131la\u015fma\u011fa, olanlarla bar\u0131\u015fma\u011fa m\u0259cbur oldular. Toylar\u0131 \u015eu\u015fada olmu\u015fdu. Dedikl\u0259rin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, a\u011f\u0131r bir n\u0259sil idil\u0259r. Qol-budaq at\u0131b, qaba\u011fa ged\u0259nl\u0259ri, b\u00f6y\u00fck v\u0259zif\u0259d\u0259, nazirlikd\u0259, komit\u0259d\u0259, filanda i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259nl\u0259ri var idi. Q\u0131z\u0131n dediyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, evd\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7 bac\u0131yd\u0131lar, ikisi \u0259r\u0259 getmi\u015f, ev-e\u015fik sahibi olmu\u015fdular. Bu is\u0259, evd\u0259 oturub qism\u0259tini g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi. Evin ki\u00e7ik u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 oldu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bir az \u015f\u0131ltaq, \u0259rk\u00f6y\u00fcn b\u00f6y\u00fctm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcl\u0259r. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fcn dediyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, h\u0259r k\u0259si b\u0259y\u0259n\u0259n deyildi. \u0130ndiy\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r \u00e7ox el\u00e7i d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nl\u0259ri olsa da, ham\u0131s\u0131na yox demi\u015fdi. Niy\u0259, n\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, he\u00e7 \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 bilmirdi. G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259ki a\u011f atl\u0131 o\u011flan, m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t \u015fahzad\u0259si h\u0259l\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259mi\u015fdi. M\u0259cid\u0259 yaman meylini salm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. G\u00f6zl\u0259rini q\u0131y\u0131b, q\u0259rib\u0259, \u00e7ox \u015firin t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcml\u0259, xo\u015f g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015fl\u0259 baxma\u011f\u0131 var idi. Deyirdi: \u201c Ay M\u0259cid, s\u0259nd\u0259 el\u0259 bil, \u015feytan t\u00fck\u00fc var! Bu n\u0259 olan \u015feydir ki, q\u0131zlar s\u0259ni g\u00f6r\u0259n kimi ba\u015f\u0131na f\u0131rf\u0131ra kimi f\u0131rlan\u0131rlar!..\u201d Sonra da g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yib, \u015f\u0259had\u0259t barma\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u0259sdir\u0259-\u0259sdir\u0259: \u201c Yax\u015f\u0131 bax haa, k\u00f6nl\u00fcn\u00fc kim\u0259s\u0259 qapd\u0131rma, onsuz da s\u0259ni kim\u0259s\u0259 verm\u0259r\u0259m!..\u201d-deyib zarafatla\u015fard\u0131. H\u0259r g\u00fcn \u00f6z\u00fcyl\u0259 \u00e7ay i\u00e7m\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn he\u00e7 d\u0259 bir-birini t\u0259krarlamayan m\u00fcr\u0259bb\u0259, meyv\u0259 g\u0259tir\u0259rdi. \u201c Anam bi\u015firib, \u00f6z ba\u011f\u0131m\u0131zdand\u0131r! Meyv\u0259l\u0259r d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcnk\u00fcd\u00fcr!\u201d-deyib M\u0259cidin qaba\u011f\u0131na ayr\u0131ca qoyar, sonra da \u00e7ay s\u00fcz\u00fcb g\u0259tir\u0259rdi. H\u0259r g\u00fcn t\u0259krarlanan bu m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131da oturan q\u0131z\u0131 da q\u0131c\u0131qland\u0131rar, o da \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc ist\u0259tm\u0259k, g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn n\u0259 il\u0259s\u0259 bir \u015feyl\u0259 dil\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fard\u0131. Onun atas\u0131 \u015f\u0259h\u0259rin hans\u0131 rayonundasa oboxeis, anas\u0131 da radioda jurnalist idi. \u00d6z\u00fcnd\u0259n ki\u00e7ik bir qarda\u015f\u0131 da var idi, h\u0259l\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 idi, h\u00fcquq fak\u00fclt\u0259sind\u0259 oxuyurdu. Q\u0131z\u0131n anas\u0131 M\u0259cidi M\u0259tbuat g\u00fcn\u00fcnd\u0259 radioya \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rm\u0131\u015f, be\u015f-on d\u0259qiq\u0259lik bir s\u00f6hb\u0259t aparm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. M\u0259cid d\u0259 radioda ilk d\u0259f\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f etdiyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, d\u00fcz\u00fc o q\u0259d\u0259r h\u0259y\u0259canlanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, n\u0259 dediyini, nec\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da xat\u0131rlaya bilmirdi. Ancaq o verili\u015f\u0259 qulaq asanlar t\u0259rifl\u0259yib, \u201c Sa\u011f ol, yax\u015f\u0131 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131n!\u201d-deyirdil\u0259r. M\u0259cidin bu \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f\u0131na q\u0259d\u0259r iki hekay\u0259si radioda s\u0259sl\u0259nmi\u015f, h\u0259tta m\u00fcharib\u0259 m\u00f6vzusunda yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f \u0259n yax\u015f\u0131 hekay\u0259 m\u00fcsabiq\u0259sind\u0259 bir hekay\u0259si \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc yeri tutmu\u015fdu. Art\u0131q yava\u015f-yava\u015f hekay\u0259l\u0259ri, essel\u0259ri, irili-x\u0131rdal\u0131 m\u0259qal\u0259l\u0259ri q\u0259zetl\u0259r\u0259, jurnallara da yol tap\u0131rd\u0131. \u0130ndi durum deyim, kimins\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259yi, tap\u015f\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131 il\u0259?! Yox, yazd\u0131qlar\u0131nda istilik, i\u015f\u0131q olmasayd\u0131, i\u015f\u0131q \u00fcz\u00fc g\u00f6r\u0259rdimi? E\u015fitdiyi t\u0259rifl\u0259r d\u0259, ona h\u0259v\u0259s, qol-qanad verirdi. D\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fc m\u00fchit d\u0259 ziyal\u0131 m\u00fchiti idi. N\u0259\u015friyyat\u0131n m\u00fcdiri d\u0259 yaz\u0131-pozu adam\u0131 idi. O da yaz\u0131r, m\u00fcnt\u0259z\u0259m olmasa da, hekay\u0259l\u0259ri \u0259d\u0259bi orqanlarda \u00e7ap olunurdu, radioda s\u0259sl\u0259nirdi. H\u0259r t\u0259z\u0259 hekay\u0259 yazanda M\u0259cidi \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131b ota\u011f\u0131nda \u00fczb\u0259\u00fcz otuzdurar, \u00e7ay i\u00e7\u0259-i\u00e7\u0259 oxuyub fikrini soru\u015fard\u0131. Bu, \u00f6zl\u00fcy\u00fcnd\u0259 n\u0259\u015friyyatda M\u0259cid\u0259 h\u00f6rm\u0259t qazand\u0131rsa da, n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259, \u015f\u00f6b\u0259 m\u00fcdirl\u0259rind\u0259 q\u0131sqancl\u0131q, qorxu, xof yaradard\u0131. Ancaq M\u0259cidin kimins\u0259 yerind\u0259, stolunda g\u00f6z\u00fc yox idi. Bunlar onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bo\u015f, m\u0259nas\u0131z bir \u015fey idi. Allah onu nec\u0259 yaratm\u0131\u015fd\u0131sa, el\u0259 o g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015fd\u0259, o bi\u00e7imd\u0259 d\u0259 qalmaq ist\u0259yirdi. Buq\u0259l\u0259munluq n\u0259 onun xisl\u0259tin\u0259, n\u0259 d\u0259 soyuna, k\u00f6k\u00fcn\u0259 yara\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 ail\u0259 t\u0259rbiy\u0259sin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 tanr\u0131s\u0131na dua\u00e7\u0131 idi.<\/p>\n

M\u0259cidin sol b\u00f6yr\u00fcnd\u0259 erm\u0259ni qad\u0131n\u0131 Susanna oturmu\u015fdu. Qaraba\u011f hadis\u0259l\u0259ri ba\u015flamasa da, erm\u0259nil\u0259rin h\u0259l\u0259 n\u0259s\u0259 qurdaland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, \u00e7irkli oyunlar oynad\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 \u015fayi\u0259, ehtimal kimi dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131lar. Q\u0259zetl\u0259r yen\u0259 palaz-palaz beyn\u0259lmil\u0259l\u00e7ilikd\u0259n, qarda\u015fl\u0131qdan yaz\u0131r, a\u011fsaqqallar, a\u011fbir\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259r radioda, televiziyada \u201c \u018fsli v\u0259 K\u0259r\u0259m\u201d na\u011f\u0131llar\u0131 uydururdular. M\u0259cidin, n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 bu erm\u0259ni qad\u0131n\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259y\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fc yox idi. \u018fr\u0259 d\u0259 getm\u0259mi\u015fdi, k\u0259narda bir s\u0259rxo\u015f rusla him-ciml\u0259\u015fib\u00a0 bir o\u011flan u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259tirmi\u015f, ad\u0131n\u0131 da Akop qoymu\u015fdu. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fcn dediyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, ana babas\u0131 Akopun ad\u0131n\u0131 ona vermi\u015fdi. O Akop j\u00fcz il ya\u015fam\u0131\u015fd\u0131, y\u0259qin bu arzuyla da o\u011flunun g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yin\u0259 yana\u015f\u0131b o ad\u0131 vermi\u015fdi. Daha araq almad\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259 rus da onu at\u0131b getmi\u015f, he\u00e7 u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 da vecin\u0259 almam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Susanna bir s\u0259rxo\u015f rusa g\u00f6r\u0259,\u00a0 ki\u015fil\u0259rd\u0259n yan\u0131ql\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb, h\u0259r g\u00fcn onlar\u0131 qaralay\u0131r, gileyl\u0259nib s\u00f6y\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u018fti ac\u0131, dili d\u0259 z\u0259h\u0259r idi b\u0259db\u0259xt q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n. Yersiz deyindiyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, otaqda oturan y\u0259hudi qad\u0131n\u0131 Jenya bir g\u00fcn d\u00f6zm\u0259yib Susannan\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131ndan vurdu, onu g\u00f6y yuyub, qara s\u0259rdi: \u201c G\u00fcnahkar \u00f6z\u00fcns\u0259n, Susanna! \u00d6z\u00fc y\u0131x\u0131lan a\u011flamaz. B\u0259s bir s\u0259rxo\u015f, s\u0259rs\u0259ri rus ki\u015fisinin dal\u0131yca qa\u00e7anda bilmirdin ki, bunun ax\u0131r\u0131 da bel\u0259 olacaq? Bilirdin! Ax\u0131 qad\u0131n\u0131n qad\u0131n a\u011fl\u0131 olar, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 h\u00f6rm\u0259t etm\u0259yi bacarar. H\u0259r g\u00fcn bir araqla ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 tovlamaqla, el\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcn ki, k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259 yatan a\u011f\u0131llanacaq, sona q\u0259d\u0259r s\u0259n\u0259 \u0259rlik ed\u0259c\u0259k? \u018frlik ets\u0259ydi, \u00e7\u00f6l\u0259 at\u0131lmaz, el\u0259 \u00f6z evinin, \u00f6z ail\u0259sinin ki\u015fisi olard\u0131 d\u0259?! \u00d6z s\u0259hvindir, dan\u0131\u015fmaqla n\u0259 d\u00fcz\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k ki?! \u0130ndi n\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259, n\u0259 u\u015fa\u011fa yiy\u0259 durmursa, onda u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 kimin ad\u0131na yazd\u0131raca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn!.. Sonra dem\u0259sinl\u0259r ki, bic do\u011fulub!..\u201d<\/p>\n

M\u0259cid qad\u0131n dedi-qodusunu dinl\u0259m\u0259k ist\u0259m\u0259diyind\u0259n otaqdan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b kitabxanaya getm\u0259k ist\u0259rk\u0259n, d\u0259hlizin ba\u015f\u0131nda ba\u015f m\u00fchasib Z\u00fcleyxa il\u0259 rastla\u015fd\u0131. Diluc\u00fc salamla\u015f\u0131b ke\u00e7m\u0259k ist\u0259rk\u0259n, m\u0259nal\u0131-m\u0259nal\u0131 ona bax\u0131b, sonra o\u011frun-o\u011frun g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259y\u0259n Z\u00fcleyxa: – Yen\u0259 n\u0259 i\u015f \u00e7evirirs\u0259n, ay x\u0259t\u0259kar?!-dedi.- S\u0259ninl\u0259 maraqlanan o qad\u0131n kimdir? El\u0259 bil silist\u00e7idir, zal\u0131m\u0131n q\u0131z\u0131. H\u0259r \u015feyl\u0259 maraqlan\u0131rd\u0131. Bizim q\u0131zlar\u0131 b\u0259y\u0259nm\u0259din, h\u0259\u0259?! B\u0259y\u0259nm\u0259zs\u0259n d\u0259, \u00f6zl\u0259rini ay\u0131 kimi aparanda, niy\u0259 d\u0259 b\u0259y\u0259n\u0259s\u0259n ki?!<\/p>\n

M\u0259cid utand\u0131, h\u0259yadan \u00fcz\u00fc q\u0131zard\u0131. Birc\u0259 k\u0259lm\u0259 bel\u0259 s\u00f6z dey\u0259 bilm\u0259di. \u00dcr\u0259yind\u0259:\u201d Ax\u0131 bu, kim ola bil\u0259r ki?!\u201d-dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcns\u0259 d\u0259, t\u0259xminind\u0259 yan\u0131lm\u0131rd\u0131. \u00c7ox g\u00fcman ki, Sevincin anas\u0131 ola bil\u0259rdi. O da, hardasa m\u00fchasib i\u015fl\u0259yirdi. Sevinc g\u0259r\u0259k ki, bir d\u0259f\u0259 demi\u015fdi. \u0130ndi xat\u0131rlaya bilmirdi M\u0259cid. Q\u0131z anas\u0131d\u0131r, neyl\u0259sin, y\u0259qin \u00f6vlad\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn i\u00e7ind\u0259 bir narahatl\u0131q duy\u011fusu var. Ax\u0131 kim ist\u0259m\u0259z ki, \u00f6vlad\u0131 xo\u015fb\u0259x olsun?! Vallah, bu n\u0259 talehdir tanr\u0131dan yaz\u0131l\u0131r q\u0131zlar \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn. B\u00f6y\u00fct, b\u00f6y\u00fct, naz\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0259k, ax\u0131rda da gedib bir \u00f6zg\u0259 \u00e7\u0131ra\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yand\u0131rs\u0131n. Kim bilir, d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fc yerd\u0259 onu n\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259yir?! Ehtiyacm\u0131, s\u0131x\u0131nt\u0131m\u0131, \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fcm\u00fc?! Ya x\u00f6\u015fb\u0259xt bir taleh! Ata n\u0259vazi\u015finin, ana sevgisinin yerini ver\u0259c\u0259k bir do\u011fmal\u0131q varm\u0131?! B\u0259lk\u0259, buna g\u00f6r\u0259 \u201cVa\u011fzal\u0131\u201d \u00e7al\u0131nanda k\u00f6vr\u0259k olmayan da k\u00f6vr\u0259lir, bir i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 duy\u011funun sehrin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb sevincd\u0259n a\u011flamaq v\u0259 d\u00fcnyaya t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n g\u0259lm\u0259k ist\u0259yir!..<\/p>\n

Sevincin t\u0259yinat\u0131n\u0131 rayona vermi\u015fdil\u0259r. K\u0259ndd\u0259 qohumlar\u0131 oldu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn el\u0259 bu k\u0259ndd\u0259 d\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259m\u0259yi \u00f6z\u00fc ist\u0259mi\u015fdi. Bu, M\u0259cidin \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259sind\u0259n bir il qabaq olmu\u015fdu. Bir il m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 d\u0259rs demi\u015fdil\u0259r Sevincl\u0259. Tan\u0131\u015f olmu\u015f, sonra aralar\u0131nda h\u0259r g\u00fcn z\u0259rr\u0259-z\u0259rr\u0259 ilahid\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259n bir duy\u011fu, sevgi yaranm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. M\u0259cid \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 g\u0259ldikd\u0259n sonra i\u00e7ind\u0259 sanki d\u0259rin bo\u015fluq yaranm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bayram g\u00fcnl\u0259rind\u0259 Sevinc\u0259 t\u0259brik dolu a\u00e7\u0131qcalar g\u00f6nd\u0259r\u0259r, t\u0259tild\u0259 \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 evl\u0259rin\u0259 z\u0259ng \u00e7alard\u0131. Qiyabi d\u0259 olsa, evl\u0259rind\u0259 ham\u0131 onu tan\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131. Z\u0259ng \u00e7al\u0131nanda, daha \u00e7ox ki\u00e7ik bac\u0131s\u0131 \u015e\u0259hla g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259r, sonra Sevinci telefona \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rard\u0131. Aradan \u00f6t\u0259n bir il yar\u0131m \u0259rzind\u0259 \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 c\u0259mi \u00fc\u00e7 d\u0259f\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcl\u0259r. Sonuncu g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fl\u0259rind\u0259 vaxt\u0131n n\u0259 tez ke\u00e7diyini \u00f6zl\u0259ri d\u0259 bilm\u0259dil\u0259r. Bir d\u0259 onu g\u00f6rd\u00fcl\u0259r ki, qaranl\u0131q \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcb \u015f\u0259h\u0259rin g\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259, Bak\u0131n\u0131n k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259ri \u00e7\u0131raqband\u0131, i\u015f\u0131q-i\u015f\u0131q g\u00f6z vurur. D\u00fczd\u00fcr, Bak\u0131da evl\u0259ri var idi, qarda\u015f\u0131 ail\u0259si il\u0259 orda qal\u0131rd\u0131. Qon\u015fu \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259-Sumqay\u0131ta, ordan da mikrorayona getm\u0259li idi. \u00a0M\u0259cid gec\u0259nin bu vaxt\u0131 onu t\u0259k buraxmayacaqd\u0131 ki?!<\/p>\n

Avtobusda arxa c\u0259rg\u0259d\u0259 oturmu\u015fdular. S\u00f6hb\u0259t ed\u0259-ed\u0259, deyib g\u00fcl\u0259-g\u00fcl\u0259 \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 \u00e7atd\u0131lar. T\u00fcst\u00fc bacalar\u0131 buludlara toxunan zavodlar\u0131n s\u0131\u011f\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131, n\u0259h\u0259ng \u00e7inar a\u011faclar\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7\u0259tir tutdu\u011fu m\u0259h\u0259ll\u0259d\u0259n ke\u00e7ib bazar\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcl\u0259r. Mikrorayona ged\u0259n avtobusu \u00e7ox g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 ehtiyac qalmad\u0131. Minm\u0259kl\u0259ri il\u0259 t\u0259rp\u0259nm\u0259yi bir oldu. Sevinci d\u00fcz evl\u0259rinin giri\u015f qap\u0131s\u0131na q\u0259d\u0259r g\u0259tirdi. Evl\u0259rinin p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259sini g\u00f6st\u0259rdi Sevinc, sonra i\u015f\u0131qda ayd\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n xo\u015f bir t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcml\u0259: \u201c Sa\u011f ol, gec\u0259n xeyir\u0259 qals\u0131n!..\u201d-deyib sanki qu\u015f kimi u\u00e7a-u\u00e7a pill\u0259k\u0259nl\u0259ri qalxd\u0131. M\u0259cid el\u0259 bil yuxu g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fc. H\u0259y\u0259candan b\u0259d\u0259ni titr\u0259yirdi. \u00d6z\u00fcnd\u0259, s\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 deyildi. Y\u0131x\u0131laca\u011f\u0131ndan qorxub, iri g\u00f6vd\u0259li qovaq a\u011fac\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131ndak\u0131 oturacaqda \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdi. Qula\u011f\u0131 gurulday\u0131r, \u00fcr\u0259yinin d\u00f6y\u00fcnt\u00fcl\u0259ri ayd\u0131n hiss olunurdu. Cib d\u0259smal\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b \u00fcz-g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn t\u0259rini sildi. Bayaqdan g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7\u0259k\u0259 bilm\u0259diyi p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259y\u0259 bax\u0131b, s\u0259si g\u0259ldikc\u0259 ucadan, lap ucadan ba\u011f\u0131rmaq: \u201cSevinc! Sevinc! Sevdam m\u0259nim!..\u201d- deyib sevincind\u0259n ham\u0131ya, ham\u0131ya pay verm\u0259k ist\u0259di…<\/p>\n

M\u0259cidin o gec\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 yuxu getm\u0259di. G\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259ri, e\u015fitdikl\u0259ri, art\u0131q bir h\u0259 cavab\u0131 idi. Sakitc\u0259 musiqi dinl\u0259yir, \u00e7ay i\u00e7\u0259-i\u00e7\u0259 p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n tutqun pay\u0131z s\u0259mas\u0131na bax\u0131rd\u0131. K\u00fcl\u0259k \u015f\u0131ltaql\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan \u0259l \u00e7\u0259kmir, qovaq a\u011fac\u0131n\u0131n budaqlar\u0131n\u0131 oynad\u0131b, q\u0131z\u0131l\u0131-\u00e7\u0259hray\u0131 yarpaqlar\u0131n\u0131 p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259nin qaba\u011f\u0131na t\u00f6k\u00fcrd\u00fc. Dir\u0259kd\u0259n yell\u0259n\u0259n elektrik lampas\u0131n\u0131n i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda yarpaqlar n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259, M\u0259cid\u0259 ov\u00e7u vurmu\u015f durnan\u0131n son, a\u011fr\u0131-ac\u0131l\u0131 u\u00e7u\u015funu xat\u0131rlad\u0131rd\u0131. Son n\u0259\u011fm\u0259sini oxuyacaq durna. Deyirl\u0259r, ax\u0131 durnalar da b\u0259mb\u0259yaz qu qu\u015flar\u0131 kimi, \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fc qabaqcadan hiss edir. Son \u00f6l\u00fcm aya\u011f\u0131nda \u00f6mr\u00fc boyu \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 g\u0259zdirdiyi n\u0259\u011fm\u0259sini oxuyur. Bu, n\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 talehdi, Allah\u0131m! \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fc d\u0259 n\u0259\u011fm\u0259yl\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131lay\u0131b, \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fcn bir anl\u0131q xatir\u0259-xatir\u0259 oyalanan duy\u011fular\u0131n\u0131 da o n\u0259\u011fm\u0259y\u0259 b\u00fck\u00fcb etibars\u0131z d\u00fcnyayla vidala\u015f\u0131r…<\/p>\n

M\u0259cidin Sevincl\u0259 \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fc, evl\u0259rin\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r \u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcy\u00fc o xo\u015fb\u0259xt g\u00fcnd\u0259n d\u00fcz bir ay ke\u00e7mi\u015fdi. Evl\u0259rind\u0259 g\u00f6t\u00fcr-qoy etdikd\u0259n sonra M\u0259cidgilin onlara n\u0259 vaxt g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259rini dem\u0259li idi. Ancaq g\u00fcnl\u0259r ke\u00e7ir, ondan h\u0259l\u0259 ki, bir x\u0259b\u0259r \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131rd\u0131. Narahat duy\u011fular M\u0259cidin i\u00e7ind\u0259 ba\u015f qald\u0131r\u0131r, fikrini min yer\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kib apar\u0131r, hissini, x\u0259yal\u0131n\u0131\u00a0 dumanland\u0131r\u0131b bir-birin\u0259 qar\u0131\u015fd\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. T\u0259tild\u0259n t\u0259z\u0259c\u0259 qay\u0131tm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. K\u0259nd\u0259 z\u0259ng \u00e7ala bilm\u0259zdi, yax\u015f\u0131 deyildi. Q\u0131z u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 idi, ad\u0131na s\u00f6z-sov \u00e7\u0131xmas\u0131n\u0131 da ist\u0259mirdi. Z\u0259ng \u00e7alma\u011f\u0131 el\u0259 M\u0259cid \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 deyildi. K\u0259ndd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xana q\u0259d\u0259r m\u00fc\u0259llim kimi pis ad qoymam\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

G\u0259r\u0259k ki, h\u0259ft\u0259nin son i\u015f g\u00fcn\u00fc idi. \u0130\u015f saat\u0131 qurtarma\u011fa az qal\u0131rd\u0131. B\u0259zil\u0259ri y\u0131r-y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015f edib otaqdan \u00e7\u0131xma\u011fa haz\u0131rla\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Telefon z\u0259ng \u00e7ald\u0131. T\u0259z\u0259 i\u015f\u0259 d\u00fcz\u0259lmi\u015f S\u0259m\u0259d S\u00f6hrabl\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc M\u0259cid\u0259 sar\u0131 tutub: – Sizi ist\u0259yirl\u0259r!-dedi. Sevincin anas\u0131 idi. M\u0259cidi g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi. Raz\u0131la\u015fd\u0131lar. Bir saatdan sonra Azdraman\u0131n qaba\u011f\u0131nda, F\u00fczuli heyk\u0259linin\u00a0 b\u00f6yr\u00fcnd\u0259ki skamyada oturub onu g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi.\u00a0 \u201cMin c\u00fcr x\u0131rdavat\u201d ma\u011fazas\u0131n\u0131n qaba\u011f\u0131ndak\u0131 avtobus dayanaca\u011f\u0131nda 96-dan d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb, d\u0259d\u0259 F\u00fczulinin heyk\u0259lin\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f \u00fcz tutdu M\u0259cid. Skamyaya \u00e7atanda el\u0259 bil heyr\u0259t onu b\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc, ayaqlar\u0131 quruyub qald\u0131. \u0130\u00e7ind\u0259: \u201c \u0130lahi, insan da bu q\u0259d\u0259r bir-birin\u0259 ox\u015fayar ?!\u201d-dey\u0259 \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n soru\u015fdu. El\u0259 bil, bir alma idi, yar\u0131ya b\u00f6lm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcl\u0259r. Ya hans\u0131sa mahir bir r\u0259ssamsa \u00e7\u0259kdiyi portretd\u0259 s\u0259hv\u0259n Sevincin ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb, bu qad\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7iyinl\u0259rin\u0259 qoymu\u015fdu. H\u0259y\u0259candan dili tutulmu\u015fdu M\u0259cidin. Sevincl\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 dili dola\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131 kimi, indi d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u0259l\u0259 ala bilmirdi. Soyuq t\u0259r b\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc b\u0259d\u0259nini. Bel\u0259c\u0259, bir az da ke\u00e7s\u0259ydi, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, \u201c Sevinc, s\u0259ns\u0259nmi?\u201d-dey\u0259 soru\u015facaqd\u0131 M\u0259cid. Yax\u015f\u0131 ki, qad\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fc dill\u0259ndi:- G\u0259l, o\u011ful, g\u0259l! D\u00fcz g\u0259libs\u0259n, M\u0259cid-dedi. Aya\u011fa durub, bir \u0259liyl\u0259 bo\u015f skamyada oturma\u011fa yer g\u00f6st\u0259rdi. M\u0259cidin azac\u0131q h\u0259yacan\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kildi, q\u0131r\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131. \u201c T\u0259\u015f\u0259kk\u00fcr edir\u0259m!..\u201d s\u00f6yl\u0259yib, skamyada \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdi. Qad\u0131n a\u00e7\u0131q, s\u0259mimi s\u00f6hb\u0259t olsun dey\u0259, xo\u015f bir t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcml\u0259 M\u0259cidi s\u00fcz\u00fcb: – \u015e\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259 nec\u0259s\u0259n, o\u011ful, uy\u011funla\u015fa bilirs\u0259nmi?- dey\u0259 soru\u015fdu.<\/p>\n

-Pis deyil! Sa\u011f olun, i\u015f-g\u00fcc o q\u0259d\u0259r insan\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qat\u0131r ki, dar\u0131xma\u011fa he\u00e7 vaxt da qalm\u0131r. G\u00fcn\u00fcn hardan ba\u015flay\u0131b, harda bitdiyini d\u0259 hiss etmirs\u0259n. \u015e\u0259h\u0259r, el\u0259 bil, qaynar qazand\u0131, ham\u0131n\u0131 qar\u0131\u015fqa kimi qay\u011f\u0131lar\u0131 il\u0259 aldad\u0131r, ham\u0131 qa\u00e7a-qa\u00e7da, t\u0259l\u0259sha t\u0259l\u0259sd\u0259dir.<\/p>\n

-K\u0259ndl\u0259, valideyinl\u0259rinizl\u0259 \u0259laq\u0259niz nec\u0259dir, yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131rlarm\u0131? Gedib he\u00e7 onlar\u0131 yoxlaya bilirsinizmi? Ata, ana yax\u015f\u0131 \u015feydir, evin\u00a0 istiliyi, i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131, bini-b\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tidir, q\u0259drini bilin. Valideyin xeyir-duas\u0131, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, \u0130lahi q\u00fcdr\u0259td\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259n s\u0259dad\u0131r!..<\/p>\n

– Bu xo\u015f s\u00f6zl\u0259r\u0259, diqq\u0259tiniz\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, \u00e7ox sa\u011f olun. \u0130mkan tapan kimi gedib yoxlay\u0131ram. \u201cM\u0259rk\u0259zi po\u00e7txana\u201ddan z\u0259ng \u00e7al\u0131b tez-tez hal-\u0259hval tuturam.<\/p>\n

– Bilirs\u0259n, o\u011ful, s\u0259ni niy\u0259 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rm\u0131\u015fam? Ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcnd\u00fcr d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u0259m, buna m\u0259rdimazarl\u0131qm\u0131, xeyirxahl\u0131qm\u0131 deyim, d\u00fcz\u00fc h\u0259l\u0259 k\u0259sdir\u0259, ad da qoya bilmir\u0259m. Q\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 ist\u0259diyin, q\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n da s\u0259nd\u0259 k\u00f6nl\u00fc oldu\u011fu m\u0259n\u0259 b\u0259llidir. \u0130\u015fin, a\u011fl\u0131n, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259n d\u0259 yerind\u0259dir. \u0130ncim\u0259, s\u0259n\u0259 n\u0259s\u0259 deyibl\u0259r, ya dem\u0259yibl\u0259r, onu da bilmir\u0259m. \u0130\u015f yerinl\u0259 d\u0259 maraqlanm\u0131\u015fam, lap yax\u0131n bir qohumum da ora ba\u015f \u00e7\u0259kib. E\u015fitdiyim ancaq \u00fcr\u0259yimi a\u00e7an s\u00f6zl\u0259r olub. Pisliyin\u0259, ziyan\u0131na bir k\u0259lm\u0259 bel\u0259 s\u00f6z dey\u0259n olmay\u0131b. Bir h\u0259ft\u0259 olar, q\u0131z\u0131mla telefonda dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m. D\u00fcz\u00fc, bu<\/p>\n

h\u0259ft\u0259 \u0259rzind\u0259 n\u0259l\u0259r \u00e7\u0259kdiyimi bir allah bilir.<\/p>\n

Ax\u015fam\u00fcst\u00fc idi. Ev\u0259 z\u0259ng \u00e7alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. Tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir ki\u015fi idi z\u0259ng \u00e7alan. Deyirdi ki, \u00fcr\u0259yim yan\u0131r, Sizi \u00e7ox ist\u0259yib, q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kd\u0259 b\u0259db\u0259xt olmamas\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn z\u0259ng \u00e7al\u0131ram. El\u0259 bilm\u0259yin ki, m\u0259rdimazarl\u0131q edir\u0259m, ara vururam. Yox, vicdan\u0131m buna yol vermir, susma\u011f\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 ba\u011f\u0131\u015flaya bilmir\u0259m. Bizim d\u0259 q\u0131z \u00f6vlad\u0131m\u0131z var, bilirik valideyinlik m\u0259suliyy\u0259tinin n\u0259 dem\u0259k oldu\u011funu. H\u0259qiq\u0259ti \u00f6yr\u0259nm\u0259s\u0259niz\u00a0 \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fcn sonuna q\u0259d\u0259r \u00e7ox pe\u015fiman olacaqs\u0131n\u0131z. Onda da \u0259liniz hara \u00e7atacaq ki?! M\u0259nd\u0259n dem\u0259kdir, dedim, \u00e7\u0131xaraca\u011f\u0131n\u0131z n\u0259tic\u0259 is\u0259 Sizd\u0259n as\u0131l\u0131d\u0131r. Unutmay\u0131n ki, atalar\u0131m\u0131z:\u201c Sonrak\u0131 pe\u015fiman\u00e7\u0131l\u0131q fayda verm\u0259z!\u201d s\u00f6zl\u0259rini bo\u015f-bo\u015funa dem\u0259yib. Sonra dilim dinc durmad\u0131, bel\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yiniz yan\u0131rsa, z\u0259ng \u00e7almaqdansa, q\u0131z\u0131ma dem\u0259yiniz pis olard\u0131m\u0131?!- dedim. S\u00f6z alt\u0131nda qalmad\u0131, tutuldusa da, \u201c M\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259tin g\u00f6z\u00fc kordur, ona \u00e7atmaz, sev\u0259nl\u0259rd\u0259\u00a0 he\u00e7 a\u011f\u0131lm\u0131 olur, anam!\u201d-dedi v\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259ti daha uzatmay\u0131b, sa\u011folla\u015fmadan da d\u0259st\u0259yi asd\u0131.<\/p>\n

-H\u0259-\u0259\u0259, m\u0259n t\u0259xmin etdiyim bir m\u00fc\u0259llim var. B\u00fct\u00fcn h\u0259yat\u0131 m\u0259rdimazarl\u0131q \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 qurulub. Ki\u015fidir, ancaq k\u00fcp\u0259gir\u0259n qar\u0131lar kimi qeyb\u0259t\u00e7ildir. B\u00f6htan\u0131 adama el\u0259 yap\u0131\u015fd\u0131rar ki, \u00f6z\u00fcn d\u0259 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb qalarsan. B\u0259s n\u0259 deyibl\u0259r,… d\u00fcz\u00fc, m\u0259nim\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259 maraql\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n

– Guya, u\u015faq vaxt\u0131 e\u015f\u015f\u0259kd\u0259n y\u0131x\u0131l\u0131b, onur\u011fa s\u00fctunu z\u0259d\u0259l\u0259nib, uzun m\u00fcdd\u0259t m\u00fcalic\u0259 olunub. H\u0259kiml\u0259r o vaxt deyib ki, ail\u0259 h\u0259yat\u0131 u\u011fursuz da ola bil\u0259r, u\u015faqlar\u0131 olmaya da bil\u0259r!.. Daha n\u0259 bilim n\u0259l\u0259r, n\u0259l\u0259r…<\/p>\n

– B\u0259s q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131z… q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131z n\u0259 deyib ona?! Q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131z da ona o d\u0259qiq\u0259 inan\u0131b, h\u0259\u0259?!<\/p>\n

– Yox, q\u0131z\u0131m he\u00e7 indi d\u0259 inanm\u0131r. Ancaq m\u0259n\u0259 dey\u0259nd\u0259n sonra, ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcnd\u00fcr ki, i\u00e7imd\u0259 rahatl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 da itirmi\u015f\u0259m, o\u011ful. Yediyim, i\u00e7diyim d\u0259 el\u0259 bil z\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 d\u00f6n\u00fcb.<\/p>\n

– B\u0259s q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131z… q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131z m\u0259nd\u0259n niy\u0259 bir k\u0259lm\u0259 soru\u015fmay\u0131b? H\u0259r deyil\u0259n s\u00f6z\u0259, el\u0259 o d\u0259qiq\u0259 inanmaqm\u0131 olar? Ax\u0131 evinizd\u0259 h\u0259kim var. Onur\u011fa s\u00fctunu z\u0259d\u0259l\u0259nmi\u015f insan da bel\u0259 normal ya\u015faya, g\u0259z\u0259 bil\u0259rmi?! Onun-bunun s\u00f6z\u00fcyl\u0259 oturub-durmaq, insan\u0131 hara apar\u0131b \u00e7\u0131xarar ki, g\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n? \u0130nsan g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u0259, yoxsa e\u015fitdiyin\u0259 daha \u00e7ox inam g\u0259tirm\u0259lidir? \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u0259. \u00c7\u00fcnki g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcn s\u0259nindir… s\u0259nin h\u0259qiq\u0259tindir. E\u015fitdiyin is\u0259, s\u0259nin deyil, ba\u015fqas\u0131n\u0131n n\u0259f\u0259sin\u0259 b\u00fcr\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f yad bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259dir. Ona inam g\u0259tirm\u0259k, insan\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fc-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc aldatmas\u0131d\u0131r. B\u0259s a\u011f\u0131l, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259 n\u0259d\u0259n \u00f6tr\u00fcd\u00fcr? B\u0259li, m\u0259n k\u0259ndd\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m, k\u0259nd\u00e7i balas\u0131yam! K\u0259ndd\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u0259k q\u0259bah\u0259t deyil ki?! E\u015f\u015f\u0259k arabas\u0131 da s\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m, k\u0259r\u0259ntiyl\u0259, oraqla da ot bi\u00e7ib g\u0259tirmi\u015f\u0259m. E\u015f\u015f\u0259k d\u0259 minib s\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m. Amma y\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m, onur\u011fam\u0131 z\u0259d\u0259l\u0259diyim, h\u0259l\u0259 uzun m\u00fcdd\u0259t m\u00fcalic\u0259 ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m he\u00e7 yad\u0131ma g\u0259lmir! M\u0259n bu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259ni q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131za, m\u0259nim tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m Sevinc\u0259 he\u00e7 yara\u015fd\u0131rmazd\u0131m! B\u0259lk\u0259 sabah ba\u015fqa birisi bir \u00f6zg\u0259 \u015fey uyduracaq, onadam\u0131 inanacaq, onu da d\u0259rd edib i\u00e7ind\u0259 g\u0259zdir\u0259c\u0259k?<\/p>\n

– Yox, q\u0131z\u0131m indi d\u0259 buna inanm\u0131r. Ancaq m\u0259nim i\u00e7imi yey\u0259n bu \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259y\u0259 nec\u0259 soyuqqanl\u0131 ola bil\u0259r\u0259m. \u018fg\u0259r s\u00f6hb\u0259t q\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n taleyind\u0259n, g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yind\u0259n gedirs\u0259, sonrak\u0131 pe\u015fiman\u00e7\u0131l\u0131q fayda ver\u0259rmi?! \u018fg\u0259r do\u011frudanm\u0131 q\u0131z\u0131ma, onun ail\u0259sin\u0259 h\u00f6rm\u0259tin varsa, onda bizim tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z h\u0259kiml\u0259rin yoxlamas\u0131ndan, testind\u0259n ke\u00e7. El\u0259 biz d\u0259, Siz d\u0259 sabahk\u0131 qurulacaq ail\u0259nin taleyind\u0259n tam arxay\u0131n olaq.<\/p>\n

– M\u0259g\u0259r bu, al\u00e7altmaq, birisinin heysiyyat\u0131, q\u00fcruru il\u0259 oynamaq, dem\u0259k deyilmi?!<\/p>\n

Araya cans\u0131x\u0131c\u0131 bir s\u00fckut \u00e7\u00f6kd\u00fc. El\u0259 bil d\u00fcnyan\u0131n d\u0259rdl\u0259ri qur\u011fu\u015fun kimi M\u0259cidin \u00e7iyinl\u0259rin\u0259 t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcb onun q\u00fcrurunu \u0259ydi, yuma\u011fa d\u00f6nd\u0259rdi. Bilm\u0259di, bilm\u0259di n\u0259 desin, i\u00e7ini g\u00f6yn\u0259d\u0259n g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259diyi bu a\u011fr\u0131n\u0131, ac\u0131n\u0131 nec\u0259 udsun. Handan-hana Sevincin anas\u0131 onun dinm\u0259diyini g\u00f6r\u00fcb aya\u011fa qalxd\u0131, daha bu bar\u0259d\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 dem\u0259di. Sa\u011folla\u015f\u0131b a\u011f\u0131r-a\u011f\u0131r avtobus dayanaca\u011f\u0131na t\u0259r\u0259f getdi. M\u0259cid h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 deyildi. Sanki bu d\u00fcnyayla t\u0259k qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Obas\u0131 k\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcb yurdu bo\u015f qalan ocaq yerl\u0259rinin h\u0259sr\u0259ti kimi kims\u0259sizl\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdi. Buz heyk\u0259li kimi yer\u0259 yap\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f, b\u0259d\u0259nind\u0259 ac\u0131 bir titr\u0259tm\u0259 qopmu\u015fdu. A\u011flamaq, doyunca a\u011flamaq ist\u0259yirdi…<\/p>\n

…\u00a0 – Sevinc, s\u0259n h\u0259l\u0259 burdasan? B\u0259s niy\u0259 getm\u0259mis\u0259n?..<\/p>\n

– Professor M\u0259cid \u00c7\u0131raql\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259yir\u0259m. Olmazm\u0131?!<\/p>\n

– Olar, Sevinc xan\u0131m, olar… niy\u0259 d\u0259 olmas\u0131n ki?!<\/p>\n

– H\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131m ma\u015f\u0131nla g\u0259lib g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u0259lidir. O g\u0259l\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm ki, \u00f6t\u0259n g\u00fcnl\u0259rin xatirin\u0259 Sizinl\u0259 bir-iki k\u0259lm\u0259 k\u0259ss\u0259m g\u00fcnah olmaz ki?! H\u0259\u0259, anam\u0131n da bir xahi\u015fi var. Deyir, harda g\u00f6rs\u0259n o cavan o\u011flandan m\u0259nim d\u0259 ad\u0131mdan m\u00fctl\u0259q bir \u00fczr dil\u0259y\u0259rs\u0259n. El\u0259 o g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fc cavan o\u011flan kimi d\u0259 Sizi yadda saxlay\u0131b. Deyir, g\u00fcnahkaram m\u0259n onun yan\u0131nda. Q\u0259lbin\u0259 d\u0259yib, \u00fcr\u0259yini s\u0131nd\u0131rm\u0131\u015fam. Ax\u0131 q\u0259lb s\u0131nd\u0131rmaq, Allaha da xo\u015f getm\u0259z. Kim bilir, b\u0259lk\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kdikl\u0259rim ba\u011f\u0131\u015flanmaz g\u00fcnahlar\u0131m\u0131n \u0259v\u0259zidir \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r balam\u0131n qaba\u011f\u0131na?! Yox, el\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259 ki, anam bu s\u00f6zl\u0259ri sakitc\u0259, he\u00e7 n\u0259 olmam\u0131\u015f kimi deyir. G\u00f6zl\u0259rimin i\u00e7in\u0259 d\u00fcz baxa bilmir, bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 m\u0259nd\u0259n gizl\u0259dir. Hiss edir\u0259m ki, bu \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 bir etirafd\u0131r..<\/p>\n

Bilirs\u0259n ki, atam\u0131 erk\u0259n itirmi\u015f\u0259m. M\u0259kt\u0259bli olanda atalar u\u015faqlar\u0131n\u0131 \u0259ll\u0259rind\u0259n tutub m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 g\u0259tir\u0259nd\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 onlara h\u0259s\u0259dl\u0259, n\u0259 gizl\u0259dim, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, q\u0131sqancl\u0131qla, pax\u0131ll\u0131qla da baxm\u0131\u015fam. Ata qay\u011f\u0131s\u0131na, tell\u0259rimd\u0259 yeri g\u00f6yn\u0259y\u0259n ata \u0259ll\u0259rinin s\u0131\u011fal\u0131na h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 ehtiyac\u0131m, ist\u0259yim olub. N\u0259 gizl\u0259dim, anam g\u00f6zl\u0259riyl\u0259 od g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb, h\u0259m ana, h\u0259m ata olub biz\u0259. Bir g\u00f6z\u00fcyl\u0259 g\u00fcls\u0259 d\u0259, bir g\u00f6z\u00fcyl\u0259 d\u0259 a\u011flay\u0131b. \u0130\u00e7ind\u0259 g\u0259zdirdiyi a\u011fr\u0131-ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 he\u00e7 vaxt bizim \u00e7iynimiz\u0259 y\u00fckl\u0259m\u0259yib, g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcz\u0259, g\u00fcz\u0259ran\u0131m\u0131za calamay\u0131b. M\u0259n o anan\u0131n s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc nec\u0259 yer\u0259 sala bil\u0259rdim, xeyir-duas\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fitm\u0259d\u0259n, ax\u0131 nec\u0259 g\u0259linlik duva\u011f\u0131na b\u00fcr\u00fcn\u0259rdim?! Anam inad ets\u0259 d\u0259, m\u0259n ist\u0259yim\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t etm\u0259dim. G\u00fcnl\u0259rn\u0259n z\u0259nginizi g\u00f6zl\u0259dim, susdun. Siz m\u0259ni x\u0259yal q\u0131r\u0131ql\u0131\u011f\u0131na u\u011fratd\u0131n\u0131z, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259riml\u0259, a\u011fr\u0131-ac\u0131lar\u0131mla t\u0259k-t\u0259nha qoydunuz. Bilir\u0259m, m\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259z\u0259bliydiniz, \u00fc\u00e7 d\u0259f\u0259 z\u0259ng \u00e7alsam da cavab verm\u0259diniz. Umu-k\u00fcs\u00fcd\u0259ns\u0259, fikirl\u0259\u015fib \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f yolu da tapard\u0131q. N\u0259 bilim, b\u0259lk\u0259 taleh bel\u0259 f\u0259rman verib. Taleyin yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kim poza bil\u0259r ki?! Ax\u0131 taleh yaz\u0131s\u0131 Tanr\u0131 yaz\u0131s\u0131 deyilmi?!<\/p>\n

-Sevinc, ayaq \u00fcst\u0259 niy\u0259 dayanaq ki?! Yax\u015f\u0131 deyil, binan\u0131n arxas\u0131nda \u0259la bir \u00e7ayxana var… Uca \u00e7inarlar\u0131n k\u00f6lg\u0259sin\u0259 s\u0131\u011f\u0131nm\u0131\u015f \u00e7ayxana! Onkologiyan\u0131n h\u0259y\u0259ti oldu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn g\u0259lib-ged\u0259nl\u0259ri \u00e7ox olur. \u0130nsaf\u0259n, yax\u015f\u0131 da \u00e7ay verirl\u0259r.<\/p>\n

\u00c7ayxanada adam o q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 \u00e7ox deyildi. Bo\u015f stollardan birind\u0259 \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdil\u0259r. Yax\u0131nl\u0131qdak\u0131 a\u011fac\u0131n dibi suland\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan torpa\u011f\u0131n, \u00e7ay\u0131r\u0131n xo\u015f qoxusu g\u0259lirdi. Bu qoxu M\u0259cidin u\u015faql\u0131q, g\u0259nclik ill\u0259rini yad\u0131na sal\u0131r, ke\u00e7ib g\u0259ldiyi k\u0259nd yollar\u0131n\u0131 x\u0259yal\u0131nda \u0259ri\u015f-ar\u011fac edirdi.<\/p>\n

-O\u011ful, bala, biz\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 d\u0259ml\u0259nmi\u015f \u00e7ay g\u0259tir! -M\u0259cid m\u00fc\u0259llim oturan kimi cavan \u00e7ay\u00e7\u0131ya \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc tutub s\u0259sl\u0259ndi.-H\u0259\u0259, yan\u0131nda limonu, \u00e7iy\u0259l\u0259k m\u00fcr\u0259bb\u0259si d\u0259 olsun…<\/p>\n

-Sevinc xan\u0131m, yan\u0131lm\u0131ramsa, bayaq h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131m ma\u015f\u0131nla g\u0259lib g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259c\u0259k dediniz. K\u0259ndd\u0259nmi g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k?<\/p>\n

-Yo-oox… yoo-ox!..- Sevinc h\u0259y\u0259canland\u0131. Yanaqlar\u0131na q\u0131zart\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6kd\u00fc. S\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn dal\u0131n\u0131 g\u0259tir\u0259 bilm\u0259di, susdu. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 sald\u0131. Handan-hana \u0259ll\u0259rini \u00e7\u0259n\u0259sin\u0259 dirs\u0259kl\u0259yib madd\u0131m-madd\u0131m, g\u00fcnahkarcas\u0131na, utan\u0131rm\u0131\u015f kimi M\u0259cid\u0259 baxd\u0131. -Yooxx… m\u0259n el\u0259 bilirdim ki, S\u0259n bilirs\u0259n. Dem\u0259k, bilmirs\u0259n… M\u0259n on\u00a0 ild\u0259n \u00e7ox olar ki, ondan ayr\u0131lm\u0131\u015fam. D\u00fcz\u00fc, inana bilmir\u0259m ki, h\u0259yatda bel\u0259 iyr\u0259nc m\u0259xluqatlar da var imi\u015f. O, haqq\u0131nda onur\u011fa z\u0259d\u0259l\u0259nm\u0259si s\u00f6hb\u0259tini \u00e7\u0131xardan, anama z\u0259ng \u00e7ald\u0131ran da bu imi\u015f. S\u0259n dem\u0259, \u00f6z ba\u015f\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259nl\u0259ri s\u0259nin \u00fcnvan\u0131na calay\u0131rm\u0131\u015f. M\u0259nim s\u0259n\u0259 \u00e7ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m z\u0259ngl\u0259r cavabs\u0131z qalanda, vallah, el\u0259 bil havalanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m, ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 itirmi\u015fdim. N\u0259 etdiyimi, he\u00e7 \u00f6z\u00fcm d\u0259 bilmirdim. M\u0259kt\u0259b direktoruydu, h\u0259r imkandan, h\u0259r f\u00fcrs\u0259td\u0259n istifad\u0259 edib m\u0259n\u0259 t\u0259zyiq g\u00f6st\u0259rirdi. Tez-tez n\u0259yis\u0259 b\u0259han\u0259 edib ota\u011f\u0131na \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. Sanki g\u00f6z verib i\u015f\u0131q vermirdi. \u00c7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131 ki, ad\u0131ma s\u00f6z-s\u00f6hb\u0259t \u00e7\u0131xarts\u0131n, dilimi g\u00f6d\u0259ltsin, irad\u0259mi, ist\u0259yimi q\u0131rs\u0131n. S\u0259ninl\u0259 olan m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rimi yax\u015f\u0131 bilirdi. K\u0259nd yeri idi, ham\u0131 bir-birini g\u00f6z\u0259l tan\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131, kimin n\u0259 etdiyini, n\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc yax\u015f\u0131 bilirdil\u0259r. Ovucun i\u00e7i boyda k\u0259ndd\u0259, \u0259slin\u0259 baxsan, he\u00e7 p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lt\u0131 da gizli qalm\u0131rd\u0131. N\u0259 gizl\u0259dim, anam inad\u0131na b\u00fcr\u00fcn\u0259nd\u0259, s\u0259nd\u0259n \u00fcmidim \u00fcz\u00fcl\u0259nd\u0259, ac\u0131\u011fa, h\u0259\u0259… n\u0259 gizl\u0259dim, lap ac\u0131\u011fa h\u0259r \u015feyi unudub ona h\u0259 dedim. Bax, o d\u0259rind\u0259n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fclm\u0259mi\u015f h\u0259\u0259 cavab\u0131m, yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 indi d\u0259 m\u0259ni yand\u0131r\u0131r. T\u00fcst\u00fcm t\u0259p\u0259md\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r. Korun-korun yanan ocaq kimi i\u00e7im yan\u0131r, arzular\u0131m\u0131, \u00fcmidl\u0259rimi t\u00fcst\u00fcs\u00fcyl\u0259 bo\u011fub, istisi, hisi-pas\u0131yla kirl\u0259dib da\u011f\u0131d\u0131r. N\u0259 deyim, bu da bir talehdi m\u0259n ya\u015fad\u0131m, bir x\u0259yal q\u0131r\u0131ql\u0131\u011f\u0131yd\u0131 s\u0259rabland\u0131r\u0131b yuxu kimi \u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcm. U\u015fa\u011f\u0131m\u0131z olmad\u0131. Analar g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 be\u015fik ba\u015f\u0131nda, \u00e7al\u0131nmam\u0131\u015f laylam\u0131n h\u0259sr\u0259ti m\u0259ni bo\u011fdu. X\u0259yal\u0131mda olmayan u\u015faqlar\u0131m\u0131 b\u00f6y\u00fctd\u00fcm, yuxular\u0131mda ne\u00e7\u0259 k\u0259r\u0259 onlara ad qoydum. Anam bir g\u00fcn, he\u00e7 \u0259rim d\u0259 bilm\u0259d\u0259n, h\u0259kim\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259rdi m\u0259ni. H\u0259kim analizl\u0259rd\u0259n sonra: \u201c S\u0259nlik deyil, ana ola bil\u0259rs\u0259n!\u201d- dey\u0259nd\u0259 anam a\u011flad\u0131. Kim bilir, bu b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, bir taleh qar\u011f\u0131\u015f\u0131 idi. Bir zaman \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259n ke\u00e7\u0259nl\u0259ri indi \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 qaytar\u0131rd\u0131 anam\u0131n.<\/p>\n

-Ax\u0131, bu nec\u0259 olur?.. ayr\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 qad\u0131ndan u\u015faqlar\u0131 var idi, aliment d\u0259 verirdi…<\/p>\n

– Yox, yox… bu el\u0259 deyil! M\u0259n d\u0259 bel\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm. Bunu \u00f6z\u00fc etiraf el\u0259di. H\u0259kimd\u0259ndir u\u015faqlar\u0131. O, qon\u015fular\u0131 olan h\u0259kimd\u0259n. Arvad\u0131n\u0131n h\u0259kiml\u0259 x\u0259st\u0259xanada g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fckl\u0259rini bilirmi\u015f. H\u0259kimi i\u015fd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xardanda arvad\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fc o q\u0259d\u0259r q\u0131z\u0131r ki, ev\u0259 g\u0259tirm\u0259kd\u0259n bel\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kinmir. Bir g\u00fcn qap\u0131n\u0131 onun \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 a\u00e7mayanda, arvad\u0131 ab\u0131rs\u0131z-ab\u0131rs\u0131z g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin i\u00e7in\u0259 baxa-baxa iri\u015fib h\u0259kimin b\u00f6yr\u00fcn\u0259 q\u0131s\u0131landa ayr\u0131l\u0131rlar.<\/p>\n

Anal\u0131q ist\u0259yim el\u0259 bil ki, bo\u011fulmu\u015fdu. \u00dcmidsizlik, inams\u0131zl\u0131q i\u00e7imi yeyirdi. Anam da bir t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n tez-tez z\u0259ng \u00e7al\u0131b t\u0259kid edirdi ki, \u201c Allah k\u0259rimdir, \u00fcmidsiz olmay\u0131n. H\u0259r d\u0259rdin bir \u0259lac\u0131 var. Bilirs\u0259n ki, s\u0259ni \u00fc\u015f\u00fcd\u0259n sonsuzluq s\u0259nd\u0259n deyil, \u0259rind\u0259ndir. Onda onu dil\u0259 tut, t\u0259kid el\u0259, qoy h\u0259kim\u0259 g\u0259lsin!..\u201d<\/p>\n

Anam\u0131n bu s\u00f6zl\u0259ri m\u0259ni silk\u0259l\u0259yir, yerimd\u0259n oynad\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 \u0259rim\u0259 h\u0259kim\u0259 get dey\u0259nd\u0259 bir b\u0259han\u0259 tap\u0131r, yay\u0131n\u0131rd\u0131. Bilmir\u0259m televizorda ged\u0259n verili\u015fd\u0259n, ya iki g\u00fcn qabaq \u015e\u0259fiq\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259llimin dedikl\u0259rind\u0259n, ya n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 b\u0259rk k\u00f6vr\u0259lib \u0259rimin ayaqlar\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm: \u201c Ax\u0131 ana olmaq m\u0259nim d\u0259 haqq\u0131md\u0131r!\u201d- deyib u\u015faq kimi a\u011flad\u0131m. \u018fll\u0259rimd\u0259n tutub divana \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdirdi. Sakitl\u0259\u015fdirib ovundurdu m\u0259ni. Bir zaman yol q\u0259zas\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc, \u00f6l\u00fcmd\u0259n qay\u0131td\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, he\u00e7 vaxt, he\u00e7 vaxt \u00f6vlad\u0131 olmayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 dil\u0259 g\u0259tirdi. Bir anl\u0131\u011fa susub, sonra:\u201d G\u00f6zl\u0259rimi yumaram, xo\u015fland\u0131\u011f\u0131n biri varsa, dilxo\u015fluq ed\u0259 bil\u0259rs\u0259n!..\u201d-s\u00f6yl\u0259di. El\u0259 bil yer ayaqlar\u0131m\u0131n alt\u0131ndan qa\u00e7d\u0131, el\u0259 bil i\u00e7imd\u0259 vulkan p\u00fcsk\u00fcrd\u00fc. Q\u0259z\u0259bl\u0259, sonsuz nifr\u0259tl\u0259 yerimd\u0259n qalx\u0131b \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 t\u00fcp\u00fcrd\u00fcm. \u201cS\u0259n nec\u0259 ki\u015fis\u0259n, q\u00fcrurun, m\u0259nliyin yoxdurmu s\u0259nin?!\u201d-deyib, sill\u0259ni nec\u0259 tutu\u015fdurdumsa, tarazl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 itirib yer\u0259 y\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131. Paltomu \u0259ynim\u0259 geyib, geriy\u0259 d\u0259 baxmadan evd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m. Qu\u015fba\u015f\u0131 qar ya\u011f\u0131r, k\u00fcl\u0259k havada oynad\u0131b d\u0259r-divara \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131rd\u0131. M\u0259n daha \u00fcfun\u0259t iyi ver\u0259n o evd\u0259 qala bilm\u0259zdim. \u00c7\u0131xmaqdan ba\u015fqa yolum da yox idi. O, el\u0259 bilirdi ki, bel\u0259 havada yerimd\u0259 oturacaq, h\u00f6vs\u0259l\u0259mi bas\u0131b h\u0259r \u015feyi sakitc\u0259 \u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m. Yox, o m\u0259ni n\u0259 hesab edirmi\u015f, m\u0259ni \u0259xlaqs\u0131zm\u0131 z\u0259nn edirmi\u015f?! Allah\u0131m, bel\u0259 insanlar\u0131 niy\u0259 yarad\u0131rd\u0131n, niy\u0259 m\u0259ni bel\u0259l\u0259ri il\u0259 ba\u015f-ba\u015fa qoyurdun? D\u00fcnyan\u0131 bo\u015f qalmamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnm\u00fc, ya yax\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n q\u0259drini bilm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnm\u00fc? S\u00f6z tapa bilmirdim, i\u00e7imi da\u011f\u0131dacaq o q\u0259z\u0259bi, o hissi ifad\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259k s\u00f6z\u00fc el\u0259 bil yadda\u015f\u0131mdan silmi\u015fdil\u0259r. El\u0259 bil yerd\u0259 yox, hans\u0131sa bo\u015fluqda, havas\u0131zl\u0131qda idim. Bir az da \u00e7ox qalsam, bo\u011fulacaq, hals\u0131zla\u015f\u0131b bay\u0131lacaqd\u0131m. Q\u0259z\u0259bim dal\u011fa-dal\u011fa i\u00e7imd\u0259n k\u00fckr\u0259yir, nifr\u0259tim od olub i\u00e7imi yand\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. Allah\u0131m, o m\u0259n\u0259 hans\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259 bax\u0131rm\u0131\u015f, m\u0259n o g\u00f6z\u0259, o bax\u0131\u015fa he\u00e7 layiq idimmi?! Ax\u0131 m\u0259n n\u0259yi arzulam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m, indi hardan hara g\u00f6r g\u0259lib \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m?! Deyirl\u0259r, namusu it\u0259 atd\u0131lar, it d\u0259 yem\u0259di. B\u0259s namusunu it\u0259 atan bu \u015f\u0259r\u0259fsizl\u0259 ya\u015famaq bundan sonra m\u0259n\u0259 n\u0259 ver\u0259 bil\u0259rdi?!\u00a0 Ancaq h\u0259\u015farat \u00f6mr\u00fc, q\u00fcrursuz, l\u0259yaq\u0259tsiz \u00f6m\u00fcr. Baxd\u0131m, he\u00e7 t\u00fck\u00fc d\u0259 t\u0259rp\u0259nm\u0259di, he\u00e7 m\u0259ni saxlayas\u0131, ovunduras\u0131 bir s\u00f6z d\u0259 dem\u0259di. Onunla ke\u00e7irdiyim \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u0259 min k\u0259r\u0259 yaz\u0131qlar olsun. O n\u0259 \u00f6m\u00fcr idi, m\u0259n ya\u015fad\u0131m. Ona \u00f6m\u00fcrm\u00fc deyim, m\u0259sl\u0259ksiz, \u0259qid\u0259siz, \u015f\u0259r\u0259fsiz bir \u00f6m\u00fcr…<\/p>\n

U\u015faq vaxt\u0131 q\u0131\u015f t\u0259tilind\u0259 k\u0259nd\u0259 ged\u0259nd\u0259 babam qabarl\u0131 \u0259ll\u0259rini odun pe\u00e7inin istisind\u0259 ovu\u015fdurub dey\u0259rdi:\u201d Bay\u0131rda hava \u00e7ox soyuqdur. \u015eaxta q\u0131l\u0131nc kimi k\u0259sir. Bel\u0259 havada, he\u00e7 it d\u0259 itdigiyn\u0259n burnunu \u00e7\u00f6l\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xarmaz!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u0130tin burnunu \u00e7\u00f6l\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xarmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 o soyuqda babam\u0131n s\u00f6zl\u0259ri yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. \u0130nad\u0131n \u0259ll\u0259rind\u0259n tutub ba\u015f magistral yola t\u0259l\u0259sirdim. \u00dcmidimi itirm\u0259mi\u015fdim. Geriy\u0259 yolum daha i\u00e7imd\u0259 qapanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130\u00e7imd\u0259 k\u00f6z\u0259r\u0259n yalan\u00e7\u0131 bir \u00fcmid\u0259 b\u00fck\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f k\u00f6rp\u00fcl\u0259ri d\u0259 sel aparm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Yolun k\u0259nar\u0131nda n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r dayand\u0131\u011f\u0131m yad\u0131mda deyil. D\u00fcz\u00fc, el\u0259 halda idim ki, ya yerd\u0259, ya g\u00f6yd\u0259 oldu\u011fumu da unutmu\u015fdum. \u00dcst\u00fcm\u00fc n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r qardan t\u0259mizl\u0259s\u0259m d\u0259, yen\u0259 d\u0259 qar m\u0259ni \u015eaxta baba, Qar q\u0131z kimi b\u0259z\u0259yirdi. \u0130r\u0259lid\u0259, d\u00f6ng\u0259d\u0259, \u00e7ay\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259ki k\u00f6rp\u00fcd\u0259 qurd g\u00f6zl\u0259ri kimi qo\u015fa i\u015f\u0131q parlad\u0131. \u00d6n\u00fcmd\u0259n bir az ir\u0259li ke\u00e7mi\u015fdi ki, saxlad\u0131. Kabinan\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 azac\u0131q a\u00e7\u0131b, soyuqdan qorxa-qorxa ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00fccl\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6l\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xaran ya\u015fl\u0131 ki\u015fi: – Hara gedirs\u0259n, ay anam, ay q\u0131z\u0131m? \u2013 soru\u015fdu. Sonra da cavab g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259d\u0259n: – Bel\u0259 havada kimis\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6ld\u0259 qoymaq he\u00e7 ki\u015filikd\u0259n deyil!-dedi. Bilmir\u0259m, hardansa a\u011fl\u0131ma girdi anam\u0131n x\u0259st\u0259 oldu\u011funu, getm\u0259yin m\u00fctl\u0259q laz\u0131m g\u0259ldiyini s\u00f6yl\u0259dim. \u015e\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 g\u0259lirdil\u0259r, g\u0259lninin v\u0259ziyy\u0259ti yax\u015f\u0131 deyildi, rayonda h\u0259kiml\u0259r \u0259lac q\u0131lmad\u0131qlar\u0131ndan Bak\u0131ya g\u00f6nd\u0259ri\u015f vermi\u015fdil\u0259r. Arxa qap\u0131dan i\u00e7\u0259ri ke\u00e7dim. Yor\u011fana b\u00fck\u00fcl\u00fc g\u0259lin v\u0259 yan\u0131nda yun \u015fal\u0131na b\u0259rk-b\u0259rk b\u00fcr\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f ya\u015fl\u0131 qad\u0131n oturmu\u015fdu. G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, qaynana idi. \u00c7ox istiqanl\u0131, s\u00f6hb\u0259ti \u015fip\u015firin bir qaynana. El\u0259 o d\u0259qiq\u0259 istil\u0259nm\u0259yim, q\u0131r\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131m a\u00e7\u0131ls\u0131n dey\u0259 termosdan isti \u00e7ay verdil\u0259r. Adi vaxtda ac\u0131 ba\u011f\u0131rsaq kimi uzanan \u015f\u0259h\u0259r yolunu n\u0259 vaxt bitirdiyimizi yad\u0131ma sala bilm\u0259dim. H\u0259kim qarda\u015f\u0131m\u0131n i\u015fl\u0259diyi x\u0259st\u0259xanaya gedirdil\u0259r. Gec\u0259d\u0259n xeyli ke\u00e7s\u0259 d\u0259, ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qarda\u015f\u0131m\u0131n evinin qaba\u011f\u0131na s\u00fcrd\u00fcrd\u00fcm. D\u00fczd\u00fcr, qarda\u015f\u0131m\u0131n yolda\u015f\u0131, g\u0259linimiz bir az m\u0131z\u0131ldansa da, qarda\u015f\u0131m geyinib x\u0259st\u0259nin s\u0259h\u0259rin a\u00e7\u0131lmas\u0131, h\u0259kiml\u0259rin i\u015f vaxt\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015flamas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r \u0259ziyy\u0259t \u00e7\u0259km\u0259m\u0259si \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn x\u0259st\u0259xanada apar\u0131b yerl\u0259\u015fdirdi. S\u0259n dem\u0259, d\u00fcnya yax\u015f\u0131 adamlarla doluymu\u015f. Yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131q el\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131lar\u0131 tap\u0131rm\u0131\u015f…<\/p>\n

N\u0259 gizl\u0259dim, h\u0259yat\u0131m bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t \u00e7ox sars\u0131nt\u0131l\u0131, c\u0259h\u0259nn\u0259m \u0259zab\u0131 kimi ke\u00e7di. E\u015fitdiyim s\u00f6zl\u0259ri yad\u0131ma salanda\u00a0 d\u0259li olmaq d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259sin\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r g\u0259lirdim. M\u00fc\u0259llim kimi i\u015f\u0259 d\u00fcz\u0259ldim. Ba\u015f\u0131m qar\u0131\u015fd\u0131, t\u0259z\u0259 m\u00fchit, t\u0259z\u0259 tan\u0131\u015fl\u0131qlar i\u00e7imd\u0259 bir az y\u00fcng\u00fcll\u00fck yaratd\u0131. Sonra u\u015faq vaxt\u0131 bir yerd\u0259 oynad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z qohumuma rast g\u0259ldim. Rusiy\u0259td\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131rm\u0131\u015f, h\u00fcquq\u015f\u00fcnasd\u0131r… hans\u0131sa \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259, d\u0259qiq bilmir\u0259m, dey\u0259s\u0259n Ufada m\u00fcst\u0259ntiq imi\u015f. M\u00fch\u00fcm i\u015fl\u0259r \u00fczr\u0259 m\u00fcst\u0259ntiq. Dediyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, b\u00f6y\u00fck bir mafiyan\u0131n \u00a0maliyy\u0259, adam o\u011furlama cinay\u0259tl\u0259rini ara\u015fd\u0131r\u0131rm\u0131\u015f. \u018fvv\u0259lc\u0259 ona x\u0259b\u0259rdarl\u0131q, sonra k\u00fclli miqdarda pul t\u0259klif edibl\u0259r, i\u015fi \u00e7ox qurdalama, alaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 al, \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n d\u0259 sakitc\u0259 sivi\u015fib ke\u00e7, deyibl\u0259r. Onsuz da tutulan tutulub, \u00f6l\u0259n d\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcb, daha o biril\u0259rin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 getm\u0259. Yox, bunlar\u0131n he\u00e7 birini q\u0259bul etm\u0259yib. \u0130nadla \u00f6z s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 dayan\u0131b. Onlar da bildikl\u0259rini edib, ail\u0259sin\u0259 olmaz\u0131n i\u015fg\u0259nc\u0259l\u0259rini verm\u0259kl\u0259, \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcb, evini d\u0259 yand\u0131raraq \u00e7\u0259kdikl\u0259ri \u015f\u0259kill\u0259ri d\u0259 ona g\u00f6nd\u0259ribl\u0259r. Qaysaq ba\u011flam\u0131\u015f yaralar\u0131n\u0131 qopartmamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn soru\u015fmuram. Bilir\u0259m, onlar\u0131 xat\u0131rlatmaq ona \u00e7ox a\u011f\u0131r g\u0259lir. Dan\u0131\u015fa bilmir, dan\u0131\u015fanda da g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00fccl\u0259 saxlay\u0131r. M\u0259rhum yolda\u015f\u0131 da el\u0259 \u00f6z k\u0259ndl\u0259rind\u0259n olub. \u0130ki u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n\u0131n v\u0259 yolda\u015f\u0131n\u0131n m\u0259zarlar\u0131 da h\u0259min k\u0259ndd\u0259dir. M\u0259n d\u0259 el\u0259 ona qo\u015fulub bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 ziyar\u0259t\u0259 getmi\u015fik. Ba\u015f da\u015flar\u0131ndan boylanan \u015f\u0259kill\u0259r el\u0259 bil dil a\u00e7\u0131b: \u201cAx\u0131 bizim g\u00fchah\u0131m\u0131z n\u0259 idi?!\u201d -dey\u0259 d\u0259rdl\u0259rini, a\u011fr\u0131-ac\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rlar. Yax\u015f\u0131 ki, ail\u0259miz, iki u\u015fa\u011f\u0131m\u0131z- bir o\u011ful, bir q\u0131z pay\u0131m\u0131z var. H\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131m bunlarla n\u0259f\u0259s al\u0131r, ya\u015fay\u0131r. U\u015faqlar olmasayd\u0131, h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131m y\u0259qin ki, \u00f6z m\u0259zar\u0131n\u0131 da \u00e7oxdan o m\u0259zarlar c\u0259rg\u0259sin\u0259 qatard\u0131.El\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259 h\u0259yat ver\u0259n, \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fc ya\u015fadan \u00f6vladlar\u0131md\u0131r. N\u0259 deyim, bu da bir talehdir m\u0259n ya\u015fad\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Sevinc bir anl\u0131q susdu. \u00c7aydan bir qurtum i\u00e7ib s\u0131nay\u0131c\u0131 n\u0259z\u0259rl\u0259rl\u0259 M\u0259cid \u00c7\u0131raql\u0131ya baxd\u0131. Sonra sif\u0259tin\u0259 qonan y\u00fcng\u00fcl t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcml\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259di.<\/p>\n

-Deyir, d\u0259rdli deying\u0259n olar, q\u0259mli yata\u011fan. Dilotu yemi\u015f adamlar kimi he\u00e7 m\u0259n s\u0259n\u0259 imkan verm\u0259dim ax\u0131, dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa. B\u0259s s\u0259n neynirs\u0259n, ail\u0259n, u\u015faqlar\u0131n nec\u0259dir? D\u00fczd\u00fcr, televiziyada \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m, q\u0259zetd\u0259, jurnallarda yaz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 oxuyuram. Neyl\u0259m\u0259k olar, Tanr\u0131n\u0131n yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kim poza bil\u0259r ki?! Taleyin yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 m\u0259n poza bils\u0259ydim inan, Onu arzumla, m\u0259ram\u0131mla yazard\u0131m t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n! Vallah, he\u00e7 inanmazd\u0131m, Tanr\u0131m m\u0259ni taleh imtahan\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131b, sizin imtahan\u0131n\u0131zda bir d\u0259 bel\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcr\u0259.<\/p>\n

M\u0259cid \u00c7\u0131raql\u0131 el\u0259 bil donmu\u015fdu. Dan\u0131\u015fa bilmirdi. Xatir\u0259l\u0259r i\u00e7ind\u0259 oyalan\u0131r, ke\u00e7\u0259n g\u00fcnl\u0259r v\u0259r\u0259q-v\u0259r\u0259q yadda\u015f\u0131na t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fc. Q\u0131nayan olmasayd\u0131 a\u011flar, \u00fcr\u0259yi bo\u015fal\u0131ncaya q\u0259d\u0259r a\u011flard\u0131. Ail\u0259sind\u0259n naraz\u0131 deyildi, evd\u0259 h\u00f6rm\u0259tini saxlay\u0131r, h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131, u\u015faqlar\u0131 p\u0259rvan\u0259 kimi ba\u015f\u0131na dolan\u0131rd\u0131lar. Ancaq mahn\u0131da deyildiyi kimi, he\u00e7 vaxt unudulan, unudulan deyildi ilk m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t. Zaman ke\u00e7\u0259r, \u00f6m\u00fcr \u00f6t\u0259r ilk m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259ts\u0259 n\u0259 qocalar, n\u0259 d\u0259 bit\u0259r. \u0130lk m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259td\u0259 n\u0259 q\u00fcdr\u0259t varsa, zaman da onun qaba\u011f\u0131nda aciz qalar. N\u0259 \u0259riy\u0259r, n\u0259 qocalar, h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 cavan qalar ilk m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t.<\/p>\n

Mobil telefon z\u0259ng \u00e7ald\u0131. M\u0259cid \u00c7\u0131raql\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259d\u0259n ay\u0131ld\u0131. \u018fl \u00e7antas\u0131n\u0131 qurdalaya-qurdalaya: – Muradd\u0131r!.. H\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131m Murad!-dedi. Aya\u011fa durdular. \u00c7inar a\u011fac\u0131n\u0131n k\u00f6lg\u0259sind\u0259 dayanm\u0131\u015f qara \u201cPrado\u201d ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131ndan polis geyimind\u0259 polkovnik r\u00fctb\u0259li ucaboy, yara\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 zabit v\u0259 on-oniki ya\u015fl\u0131 o\u011flan u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

-Tan\u0131\u015f olun, Murad! Bu, M\u0259cid \u00c7\u0131raql\u0131d\u0131r…- Sevinc g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259y\u0259-g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259y\u0259 dill\u0259ndi: – K\u0259ndd\u0259 bir yerd\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259llim i\u015fl\u0259mi\u015fik. \u0130ndi professordur. He\u00e7 a\u011fl\u0131ma g\u0259lm\u0259zdi ki, bu g\u00fcnk\u00fc imtahan\u0131m\u0131n komissiya s\u0259dri olacaq… H\u0259\u0259, s\u0259n niy\u0259 k\u0259narda durmusan, M\u0259cid balam, ada\u015f\u0131nd\u0131r… day\u0131nd\u0131r, g\u0259lib \u0259l verib bir g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fs\u0259n\u0259!..<\/p>\n

Sevinc M\u0259cid dey\u0259nd\u0259 M\u0259cid \u00c7\u0131raql\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 el\u0259 bil n\u0259s\u0259 gizild\u0259di. Qay\u0131d\u0131b a\u011fr\u0131, h\u0259s\u0259d dolu bir bax\u0131\u015fla Sevinc\u0259 baxd\u0131. Dem\u0259k, g\u0259nclik m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259ti \u00f6lm\u0259mi\u015fdi. Evind\u0259 o g\u00fcnl\u0259ri h\u0259l\u0259 xat\u0131rlayas\u0131 bir M\u0259cid b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fcrd\u00fc…<\/p>\n

Sa\u011folla\u015fd\u0131lar, xudahafizl\u0259\u015fib ayr\u0131ld\u0131lar. Ma\u015f\u0131n uzaqla\u015fd\u0131, M\u0259cid \u00c7\u0131raql\u0131 h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 yerind\u0259 donub qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. G\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259rin\u0259 inana bilmirdi. Bu ger\u00e7\u0259k idi, ya \u015firin bir x\u0259yal, yuxu idi a\u011fl\u0131na s\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fd\u0131ra, inam\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6y\u0259rd\u0259 bilmirdi. H\u0259y\u0259candan b\u0259d\u0259ni titr\u0259yirdi. Y\u0131x\u0131lmamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00e7inar\u0131n g\u00f6vd\u0259sin\u0259 s\u00f6yk\u0259ndi. D\u00fcz otuz il bundan qabaq da Sevinci evl\u0259rin\u0259 \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb, \u201ch\u0259-\u0259\u201d k\u0259lm\u0259sini e\u015fid\u0259nd\u0259 d\u0259 b\u0259d\u0259ni bel\u0259c\u0259 u\u00e7unmu\u015fdu. Handan-hana \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259lib asta-asta evl\u0259rin\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f add\u0131mlad\u0131. Evd\u0259 onu ail\u0259si g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi. Bayaq Sevincin dediyi:\u201dYa\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bu ill\u0259rd\u0259n sonra d\u0259rk etdim ki, ail\u0259-s\u0131\u011f\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131n, g\u00fcv\u0259ndiyin, arxalan\u0131b g\u00fcc-q\u00fcvv\u0259t ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n isti ocaqd\u0131r. Oca\u011f\u0131 yanar, isti olan\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 xo\u015fb\u0259xtliy\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131lar! Ail\u0259si il\u0259 n\u0259f\u0259s alan, ail\u0259siyl\u0259 d\u0259 x\u00f6\u015fb\u0259xt olan\u0131n h\u0259yatda yeri\u00a0 d\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 y\u00fcks\u0259k olar!\u201d- fikri onu tutmu\u015fdu. D\u00fcn\u0259n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 dayand\u0131\u011f\u0131 fikrini d\u0259yi\u015fib, indi \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 ail\u0259siyl\u0259 Antalyaya istirah\u0259t\u0259 ged\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259rini q\u0259til\u0259\u015fdirmi\u015fdi…<\/p>\n

Bak\u0131- Ankara-Bak\u0131,\u00a0\u00a0 03 aprel- 08 noyabr 2022-ci il.<\/p>\n

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Yaz\u0131ya 89 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(Hekay\u0259) Kim deyir ki, sevgi \u00f6l\u00fcr?! Sevgi\u00a0 \u00f6lm\u00fcr, ya\u015fay\u0131r. Valideyin, Yurd, Torpaq, V\u0259t\u0259n sevgisi, bac\u0131-qarda\u015f sevgisi, sonalanm\u0131\u015f bir g\u00f6z\u0259lin qism\u0259tin\u0259 b\u0259l\u0259nmi\u015f taleh sevgisi he\u00e7 vaxt, he\u00e7 vaxt \u00f6lm\u00fcr. H\u0259r a\u00e7\u0131lan sabah, h\u0259r do\u011fulan g\u00fcn\u0259\u015f kimi t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n do\u011fulub ya\u015fay\u0131r. – M\u0259cid, qadan al\u0131m, s\u0259n Allah, bir s\u00f6z des\u0259m incim\u0259zs\u0259n ki?! -\u015eam yem\u0259yind\u0259n sonra K\u00f6n\u00fcl xan\u0131m s\u00fcfr\u0259ni […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16,3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18673"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=18673"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18673\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18675,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18673\/revisions\/18675"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=18673"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=18673"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=18673"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}