{"id":20026,"date":"2024-07-20T11:04:23","date_gmt":"2024-07-20T07:04:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=20026"},"modified":"2024-07-20T11:04:23","modified_gmt":"2024-07-20T07:04:23","slug":"elcin-huseynb%c9%99yli-m%c9%99zar-g%c9%99lini-s%c9%99sli-kitab","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=20026","title":{"rendered":"El\u00e7in H\u00fcseynb\u0259yli – “M\u018fZAR G\u018fL\u0130N\u0130” (s\u0259sli kitab)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"1\"<\/a>(Hekay\u0259)<\/h2>\n

Hadis\u0259 ba\u015f ver\u0259n g\u00fcn di\u015fim a\u011fr\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131. \u018fslind\u0259 buna hadis\u0259 d\u0259 dem\u0259k olmaz, maraql\u0131 \u0259hvalat des\u0259m, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 yerin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259r.
\nYaz havas\u0131yd\u0131, g\u00fcn g\u00fcnortaya yax\u0131n olsa da g\u00fcn\u0259\u015f, sanki, t\u0259z\u0259c\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. M\u0259n \u015fam a\u011faclar\u0131n\u0131n d\u00f6vr\u0259l\u0259diyi poliklinikan\u0131n yan\u0131ndak\u0131 m\u0259zarl\u0131qda g\u0259zi\u015firdim. Ora x\u00fcsusi bir m\u0259qs\u0259dl\u0259 getm\u0259mi\u015fdim. Sad\u0259c\u0259, di\u015f h\u0259kimi demi\u015fdi ki, m\u00fc\u015ft\u0259ri \u00e7ox oldu\u011fundan t\u0259xmin\u0259n 40 d\u0259qiq\u0259 sonra g\u0259lim. Bel\u0259 m\u0259qamlarda m\u0259nim kimi daim narahat adam\u0131n oturub g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 h\u00f6vs\u0259l\u0259si \u00e7atmazd\u0131, ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 qatmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn q\u0259biristanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 se\u00e7dim. H\u0259r \u015feyl\u0259 maraqlananlar \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn deyim ki, burada bekketsaya\u011f\u0131 n\u0259s\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259yin. M\u0259n irlandl\u0131 h\u0259mkar\u0131mdan f\u0259rqli olaraq q\u0259biristanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 m\u00fcq\u0259dd\u0259s m\u0259kan say\u0131ram. Sad\u0259c\u0259 vaxt \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ba\u015fda\u015f\u0131lar\u0131ndak\u0131 yaz\u0131lar\u0131 oxumaq ist\u0259yirdim. Ba\u015fda\u015f\u0131 yaz\u0131lar\u0131 m\u0259nim\u00e7\u00fcn, y\u0259qin – h\u0259m d\u0259 h\u0259r \u015feyi bilm\u0259y\u0259 can atan q\u0259ribl\u0259r \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn maraql\u0131d\u0131r. \u00c7\u00fcnki onlar h\u0259yat\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcm \u015f\u0259klidir v\u0259 min ill\u0259rin \u0259n\u0259n\u0259sini \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 saxlay\u0131r. H\u0259r k\u0259s h\u0259yatda qalacaq ni\u015fan\u0259sini \u00f6l\u00fcmd\u0259n qabaq g\u00f6rm\u0259k, onun buz kimi sif\u0259tind\u0259n \u00f6pm\u0259k ist\u0259yir. Lap xofland\u0131m. Buz kimi sif\u0259ti kim sev\u0259r ki?!
\nM\u0259n q\u0259biristanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n yerl\u0259\u015fdiyi t\u0259p\u0259likd\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc q\u0259rib kimi hiss el\u0259yirdim. Bilmir\u0259m, bu evd\u0259n v\u0259 i\u015f yerind\u0259n uzaq olma\u011f\u0131mla ba\u011fl\u0131yd\u0131m\u0131, yoxsa \u00e7\u0259kil\u0259c\u0259k di\u015fimin a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n qorxusuylam\u0131. U\u015faq vaxt\u0131 di\u015fimi \u00e7\u0259kdirm\u0259y\u0259 anam aparard\u0131. M\u0259n d\u0259 a\u011fr\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 v\u0259 qorxumu azaltmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 onun all\u0131-g\u00fcll\u00fc donunun alt\u0131na soxard\u0131m, s\u00fcd qoxuyan d\u0259risini iyl\u0259y\u0259rdim, ya da uzun donunun \u0259t\u0259yin\u0259 b\u00fcr\u00fcn\u0259rdim. Anam is\u0259 \u0259trafdak\u0131lardan ay\u0131b el\u0259yib, ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 donunun alt\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131xarar, m\u0259ni quca\u011f\u0131na alard\u0131. Onda sulanm\u0131\u015f a\u011fz\u0131m\u0131 onun yaxal\u0131\u011f\u0131nda gizl\u0259d\u0259rdim, x\u0131rdaca \u0259ll\u0259riml\u0259 ondan b\u0259rk-b\u0259rk yap\u0131\u015fard\u0131m. Anam\u0131n qoxusu az da olsa, a\u011fr\u0131m\u0131 azaldard\u0131. \u0130ndi b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlardan m\u0259hrumuydum.
\nQ\u0259bir da\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 sizin d\u0259 daim rast g\u0259ldiyiniz c\u00fcrb\u0259c\u00fcr yaz\u0131lar vard\u0131. Kiml\u0259rs\u0259 o d\u00fcnya \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ba\u015fda\u015f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6vlad\u0131ndan, kims\u0259 atas\u0131ndan \u0259man\u0259t alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Ba\u015fda\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 h\u0259r ya\u015fa uy\u011fun a\u011f\u0131lar, bayat\u0131lar vard\u0131. Qoca adamlar\u0131n ba\u015fda\u015f\u0131lar\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259 t\u0259s\u0259lli, cavanlar\u0131nk\u0131 narahatl\u0131q g\u0259tirirdi. M\u0259n bu q\u0259d\u0259r qoca \u00f6lm\u0259k, bu q\u0259d\u0259r cavan da h\u0259yatdan getm\u0259k ist\u0259mirdim. Arxada m\u0259nim \u0259lim\u0259 baxan u\u015faqlar\u0131m, h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 xo\u015f g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259y\u0259 \u00fcm\u00fcd b\u0259sl\u0259y\u0259n arvad\u0131m, m\u0259nd\u0259n \u0259lini \u00fczm\u0259y\u0259n qohum-\u0259qr\u0259bam, dostlar\u0131m vard\u0131. \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, bu dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131qlar\u0131m\u0131n he\u00e7 birinin indi e\u015fid\u0259c\u0259yiniz maraql\u0131 \u0259hvalata d\u0259xli yoxdur, maraq bax\u0131m\u0131ndan he\u00e7 ona yax\u0131n da d\u00fc\u015f\u0259 bilm\u0259z, amma \u00f6z bar\u0259md\u0259 n\u0259s\u0259 dem\u0259liydim ki, dan\u0131\u015facaqlar\u0131ma da inanas\u0131n\u0131z.
\nBu, \u00e7ox q\u0259rib\u0259, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259d\u0259n d\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 \u0259hvalatd\u0131r.
\nDem\u0259li, m\u0259n q\u0259birl\u0259rin aras\u0131 il\u0259 g\u0259z\u0259-g\u0259z\u0259, b\u0259dbin v\u0259 nikbin sif\u0259tl\u0259ri g\u00f6r\u0259-
\ng\u00f6r\u0259 g\u0259lib bir m\u0259zar\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnd\u0259 dayand\u0131m, daha do\u011frusu, sanki ba\u015fda\u015f\u0131nda t\u0259svir olunmu\u015f adam\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fc, bissimillah, d\u0259mir barmaql\u0131qlar\u0131n aras\u0131ndan \u0259lini uzad\u0131b, \u0259t\u0259yimd\u0259n tutdu v\u0259 m\u0259n dayand\u0131m. Bu, bir g\u0259linin \u015f\u0259kliydi. Bilmir\u0259m niy\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259l qad\u0131nlar h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 ili\u015fir!? G\u0259linin yara\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6hr\u0259si, yana\u011f\u0131nda qara xal\u0131 vard\u0131, az sezil\u0259c\u0259k d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259d\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yirdi. O q\u0259d\u0259r sakit dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, sanki m\u0259l\u0259yiydi. Ba\u015f\u0131nda fatas\u0131, \u0259ynind\u0259 indi d\u0259bd\u0259n d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f a\u011f uzun g\u0259linlik donu vard\u0131, \u0259lind\u0259 \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259k d\u0259st\u0259si tutmu\u015fdu. \u00c7i\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259r b\u0259n\u00f6v\u015f\u0259yi, a\u011f v\u0259 sar\u0131 g\u00fcll\u0259rd\u0259n ibar\u0259t idi. Sanki onu da\u011fdan yenic\u0259 y\u0131\u011fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. \u00c7i\u00e7\u0259yi d\u0259r\u0259n is\u0259 el\u0259 m\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcm idim. Yen\u0259 d\u0259 \u015f\u0131ltaql\u0131\u011f\u0131m tutmu\u015fdu v\u0259 k\u0259ndimizin da\u011flar\u0131nda-d\u0259r\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 dola\u015f\u0131b, \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259k y\u0131\u011f\u0131rd\u0131m, dombalan, yer almas\u0131, boz k\u0259kliyin yumurtas\u0131n\u0131 axtar\u0131rd\u0131m. M\u0259nd\u0259n f\u0259rqli olaraq, g\u0259linin sif\u0259tind\u0259n m\u0259sumluq v\u0259 g\u00fcnahs\u0131zl\u0131q ya\u011f\u0131rd\u0131.
\nM\u0259n ona xeyli baxd\u0131m, baxa-baxa da di\u015fimin a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 unutdum, h\u0259kim\u0259 qay\u0131tmaq fikrind\u0259n d\u0259 da\u015f\u0131nd\u0131m. Dey\u0259s\u0259n, g\u0259lini sevdim d\u0259, h\u0259r halda onu arzulad\u0131m, yuxular\u0131m\u0131 yad\u0131ma sald\u0131m. G\u0259r\u0259k ki, m\u0259n onu n\u0259 zamansa yuxular\u0131mda g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm. O g\u0259lin da\u011flar\u0131n o biri \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259ki na\u011f\u0131l \u015f\u0259h\u0259rind\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131. B\u0259lk\u0259 m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259 axtaran Alisayd\u0131, ya g\u00f6y\u00e7\u0259k Fatmayd\u0131, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 onlar\u0131n bac\u0131s\u0131yd\u0131. \u018fn q\u0259rib\u0259si oydu ki, onun \u015f\u0259klinin alt\u0131nda he\u00e7 n\u0259 yaz\u0131lmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. N\u0259 ad\u0131 bilinirdi, n\u0259 d\u0259 do\u011fum v\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcm tarixi.
\nBu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rim bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t \u00e7\u0259kdi. M\u0259n gah g\u0259linin sir-sif\u0259tin\u0259, gah onun yaxal\u0131\u011f\u0131na, daha dorusu sin\u0259sini dombaldan d\u00f6\u015fl\u0259rin\u0259, gah da aya\u011f\u0131ndak\u0131 a\u011f s\u0259nd\u0259l\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131m. Bird\u0259n qula\u011f\u0131m\u0131n dibind\u0259 h\u0259nirti hiss el\u0259dim, \u00fc\u015f\u0259ndim, c\u0259ld qanr\u0131l\u0131b arxaya baxd\u0131m. Ya\u015fl\u0131 bir ki\u015fi arxamda dayan\u0131b \u015f\u0259kl\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131, a\u011fz\u0131ndan siqaret iyi g\u0259lirdi: ucuz v\u0259 filtrsiz siqaret qoxusu. M\u0259n \u00e7\u0259km\u0259yi \u00e7oxdan t\u0259rgitmi\u015f\u0259m, amma onun qoxusunu yad\u0131mda saxlam\u0131\u015fam. Bu do\u011frudan da pis qoxuydu. B\u0259lk\u0259 o, di\u015fl\u0259rini d\u0259 yumurdu, ya el\u0259 protez g\u0259zdirirdi. Di\u015fl\u0259ri protezli ki\u015fil\u0259rin (lap el\u0259 qad\u0131nlar\u0131n da) a\u011fz\u0131ndan pis qoxu g\u0259lir. \u0130ncim\u0259s\u0259ydil\u0259r, dey\u0259rdim ki, siqaret \u00e7\u0259km\u0259sinl\u0259r.
\nSa\u00e7lar\u0131 \u00e7alla\u015fm\u0131\u015f, sif\u0259ti b\u00fcr\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f h\u0259min ki\u015fi el\u0259 d\u0259 qoca deyildi; onu ya i\u00e7kiy\u0259 h\u0259dd\u0259n art\u0131q meylli olmas\u0131, ya da \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc do\u011frultmayan \u00fcm\u00fcdl\u0259ri qocaltm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Son fikir xo\u015fuma g\u0259lir. M\u0259n onu hans\u0131sa bir kinodan e\u015fitmi\u015f\u0259m. O, m\u0259niml\u0259 yana\u015f\u0131 bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t dayan\u0131b g\u0259lin\u0259 baxd\u0131, daha do\u011frusu, \u00e7\u00f6hr\u0259si bat\u0131q v\u0259 xall\u0131 g\u0259linin m\u00fcbar\u0259k simas\u0131n\u0131 seyr el\u0259di, ax\u0131rda he\u00e7 n\u0259 dem\u0259d\u0259n m\u0259zar\u0131 d\u00f6vr\u0259l\u0259y\u0259n hasar\u0131n q\u0131f\u0131l\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131b i\u00e7\u0259ri ke\u00e7di. G\u0259lin m\u0259zar\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda t\u0259xmin\u0259n bir adam boyu yer d\u0259 vard\u0131.
\nO, \u0259lind\u0259ki dol\u00e7an\u0131 h\u0259min yer\u0259 qoydu, t\u0259l\u0259sm\u0259d\u0259n m\u0259zar\u0131n \u0259traf\u0131ndak\u0131 ot-ala\u011f\u0131 yolub atma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131, qanqal onun barma\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yaralasa da \u0259h\u0259miyy\u0259t verm\u0259di. Qan\u0131 el\u0259c\u0259 \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 s\u00fcrtd\u00fc. Dey\u0259s\u0259n, o, a\u011fr\u0131 da hiss el\u0259mirdi. G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, \u00fcm\u00fcdl\u0259ri \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f adam\u0131n hissl\u0259ri d\u0259 onu t\u0259rk edir: dinm\u0259z-s\u00f6yl\u0259m\u0259z, sahibini bel\u0259 incitm\u0259d\u0259n. Hissl\u0259rin d\u0259 sahibi olur ax\u0131, ya el\u0259 \u0259ksin\u0259: hissl\u0259r adam\u0131n sahibidir, zaman\u0131 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 aradan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r. Ay s\u0259ni!
\nKi\u015fi ba\u015fda\u015f\u0131n\u0131n b\u00f6y\u00fcrl\u0259rind\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 yer el\u0259mi\u015f da\u015f g\u00fcldanlara da \u0259l g\u0259zdirdi, qurumu\u015f \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259ri g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb k\u0259nara atd\u0131, qoynundan bir c\u00fct q\u0259r\u0259nfil \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b, h\u0259r\u0259sini g\u00fcldan\u0131n birin\u0259 qoydu, su t\u00f6kd\u00fc. M\u0259n n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 oradan aralanmaq ist\u0259mirdim, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 a\u011fl\u0131ma g\u0259lmirdi, ya da el\u0259 hans\u0131sa q\u00fcvv\u0259 m\u0259ni saxlay\u0131rd\u0131. Bu q\u00fcvv\u0259 g\u0259linin g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259z \u0259ll\u0259ri d\u0259 ola bil\u0259rdi. Ah, ki\u015fini qucaqlayan qad\u0131n \u0259ll\u0259ri!..
\nKi\u015fi cibind\u0259n d\u0259smal \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b, \u015f\u0259klin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc t\u0259mkinl\u0259 sildi, \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 su vurdu. Sonra m\u0259n t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 baxmadan, sanki \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lday\u0131rm\u0131\u015f kimi:
\n-\u00c7ox cavan idi,-dedi, dili topuq vurdu, k\u0259k\u0259l\u0259di.
\n-Allah r\u0259hm\u0259t el\u0259sin!-M\u0259n ona t\u0259s\u0259lli \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn: – y\u0259qin, q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131zd\u0131r?- dey\u0259 soru\u015fdum.
\nKi\u015fi:
\n-O m\u0259nim ni\u015fanl\u0131m idi,-dey\u0259 yen\u0259 d\u0259 k\u0259k\u0259l\u0259y\u0259-k\u0259k\u0259l\u0259y\u0259, m\u0259yusluqla cavab verdi.
\nBiz bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t susduq. G\u0259linin h\u0259yatdan nakam getm\u0259si onu daha da g\u00f6z\u0259ll\u0259\u015fdirirdi, \u00fcr\u0259yimi a\u011fr\u0131d\u0131rd\u0131. Onun sif\u0259tind\u0259 q\u0259ml\u0259 sevinc \u0259kiziydi. Sanki m\u0259har\u0259tli r\u0259ssam \u015f\u0131ltaq bir adam\u0131n m\u00fcxt\u0259lif ovqat\u0131n\u0131 bir sif\u0259td\u0259 birl\u0259\u015fdirmi\u015fdi. B\u0259dbinl\u0259r h\u0259yatda \u00f6l\u00fcm, nikbinl\u0259r ikinci h\u0259yat axtar\u0131rlar.
\nSirli bir \u00fc\u00e7l\u00fck yaranm\u0131\u015fd\u0131: g\u0259lin-ki\u015fi v\u0259 m\u0259n. O da, sanki, bunu duydu, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa ehtiyac hiss el\u0259yirdi v\u0259 bel\u0259 bir \u0259hvalat s\u00f6yl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131:
\n-Biz qon\u015fuyduq. O, m\u0259nim ki\u00e7ik bac\u0131mla ya\u015f\u0131d\u0131yd\u0131. M\u0259n ondan yeddi ya\u015f b\u00f6y\u00fck idim, az qala quca\u011f\u0131mda b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Onu sevm\u0259k he\u00e7 a\u011fl\u0131ma da g\u0259lm\u0259zdi, amma h\u0259yat\u0131 n\u0259 bilm\u0259k olar. Adama \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259 d\u0259rd, sonra sevinc verir. E\u015fq d\u0259rdl\u0259 ba\u015flay\u0131r.
\n-E\u015fq q\u0259dim insan\u0131n k\u0259d\u0259ridir,-dey\u0259 onun fikril\u0259rin\u0259 \u015f\u0259rik \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m. Amma o, m\u0259nim bu m\u00fcdrik s\u00f6zl\u0259rim\u0259 m\u0259h\u0259l qoymad\u0131.
\n-M\u0259n ona vuruldu\u011fumu ilk d\u0259f\u0259 ot tayas\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131xanda hiss el\u0259dim. \u018fsg\u0259rlikd\u0259n t\u0259z\u0259c\u0259 qay\u0131tm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m, iyunun \u0259vv\u0259ll\u0259riydi. Otu t\u0259z\u0259c\u0259 h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259tirmi\u015fdim v\u0259 indi onu tayaya vururdum, dostum otu yaba il\u0259 g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb, yuxar\u0131 qald\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131, m\u0259n d\u0259 onu al\u0131b, yerb\u0259yer edirdim. Q\u0131z is\u0259 yerd\u0259 dayan\u0131b m\u0259n\u0259 \u0259l el\u0259yirdi. Q\u0131z, sanki m\u0259ni hans\u0131sa uzaq s\u0259f\u0259r\u0259 yola sal\u0131rd\u0131. Bu, \u00e7ox m\u0259rh\u0259m hissdi, onu s\u00f6zl\u0259 dem\u0259k olmaz\u2026
\nS\u00f6hb\u0259tin bu yerind\u0259 hardansa bir s\u0259r\u00e7\u0259 u\u00e7ub g\u0259ldi, g\u0259linin ba\u015f da\u015f\u0131na qondu. M\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259ldi ki, bu, g\u0259linin ruhudur. B\u0259s g\u00f6y\u0259r\u00e7inl\u0259r nec\u0259 oldu? Nakam g\u00f6z\u0259ll\u0259rin ruhu g\u00f6y\u0259r\u00e7inl\u0259rd\u0259 olur ax\u0131. Y\u0259qin el\u0259 o da bel\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc v\u0259 qu\u015fa \u00f6t\u0259ri bir n\u0259z\u0259r sald\u0131, he\u00e7 n\u0259 dem\u0259di. S\u0259r\u00e7\u0259 f\u0131nd\u0131q ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 o t\u0259r\u0259f-bu t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 d\u00f6nd\u0259rdi, bu\u011fda boyda b\u0259b\u0259kl\u0259ri g\u00f6z yuvac\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u00e7alxaland\u0131, sonra r\u0259fiq\u0259l\u0259rini, dostlar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131ra-\u00e7a\u011f\u0131ra u\u00e7ub getdi.
\nKi\u015fi s\u00f6hb\u0259tin\u0259 davam el\u0259di:
\n-H\u0259min g\u00fcn otu tayaya vurandan sonra o, vedr\u0259d\u0259 su g\u0259tirdi, \u0259l-\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc yumaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn su t\u00f6kd\u00fc, \u00e7iynin\u0259 atd\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u0259smal\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259 uzatd\u0131. Balaca bac\u0131m h\u0259min vaxt evd\u0259 yoxuydu, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 bu bir oyun idi, dey\u0259 bilm\u0259r\u0259m. Amma 13-14 ya\u015fl\u0131 bu q\u0131z el\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259ll\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdi ki, sanki, boynumda g\u0259zdlirdiyim d\u00fcn\u0259nki u\u015faq deyildi. Onda c\u0259zbedici n\u0259s\u0259 vard\u0131. Maqnit kimi m\u0259ni dart\u0131rd\u0131, \u0259lim\u0259 t\u00f6kd\u00fcy\u00fc su, sanki qan\u0131ma qar\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131, i\u00e7im\u0259 hopurdu.
\nO, doqquzuncu sinifd\u0259 oxuyanda Qaraba\u011f m\u00fcharib\u0259si ba\u015flad\u0131 v\u0259 m\u0259n k\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc c\u0259bh\u0259y\u0259 ged\u0259si oldum, amma ondan \u0259vv\u0259l ni\u015fanland\u0131q.
\nArabir ona m\u0259ktub yaz\u0131rd\u0131m, ondan da cavablar al\u0131rd\u0131m. Biz bir-birimizi \u00f6l\u0259n\u0259 kimi sev\u0259c\u0259yimiz\u0259 s\u00f6z vermi\u015fdik. M\u0259n onu sevdiyimi evl\u0259rinin yan\u0131ndak\u0131 yar\u011fan\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda g\u0259z\u0259rk\u0259n demi\u015fdim. O, is\u0259 d\u00fcnyag\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f qad\u0131nlar kimi susmu\u015fdu, m\u0259n\u0259 \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259li v\u0259 q\u0131y\u011fac\u0131 bir n\u0259z\u0259r salm\u0131\u015f, \u00e7\u0259k\u0259l\u0259yini s\u00fcr\u00fctl\u0259y\u0259-s\u00fcr\u00fctl\u0259y\u0259 evl\u0259rin\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f qa\u00e7m\u0131\u015fd\u0131.
\nM\u00fcharib\u0259 q\u0259s\u0259b\u0259mizd\u0259n el\u0259 d\u0259 uzaq deyildi, adamlar gec\u0259l\u0259ri s\u0259ks\u0259k\u0259 i\u00e7ind\u0259 ke\u00e7irirdil\u0259r. Qorxular\u0131n\u0131 yaddan \u00e7\u0131xarmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn gec\u0259ni uydurma \u0259hvalatlara qulaq asa-asa ba\u015fa vururdular.
\n\u0130mkan d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 komandird\u0259n icaz\u0259 al\u0131b ev\u0259 g\u0259lirdim. \u0130ki il bir aydan sonra sa\u011f aya\u011f\u0131mdan yarland\u0131m v\u0259 geri qay\u0131das\u0131 oldum. Toyumuzu l\u0259ngitm\u0259dim. O \u00f6z\u00fc bel\u0259 ist\u0259di\u2026
\nKi\u015fi dayand\u0131, g\u0259linin \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc d\u0259smal\u0131 il\u0259 sildi, sonra barmaqlar\u0131n\u0131 onun dodaqlar\u0131nda, yanaqnlar\u0131nda g\u0259zdirdi.
\n-Toy g\u00fcn\u00fc s\u0259h\u0259r\u2026-O s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn arxas\u0131n\u0131 g\u0259tirm\u0259di.
\n-Y\u0259qin q\u0259zaya d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb?-soru\u015fdum.
\nBir m\u00fcdd\u0259t pauza ver\u0259nd\u0259n sonra:
\n-H\u0259, q\u0259zayd\u0131,-dedi, susdu v\u0259 bu d\u0259f\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qald\u0131r\u0131b q\u0131zarm\u0131\u015f g\u00f6zl\u0259riyl\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 baxd\u0131. -\u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259 el\u0259 bir q\u0259za ki\u2026M\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc ki\u015fi sayan he\u00e7 k\u0259s\u0259 bunu arzu el\u0259mir\u0259m\u2026O, toy g\u00fcn\u00fc, zaqsdan \u00e7\u0131xandan sonra m\u0259nim dostuma qo\u015fulub qa\u00e7d\u0131, t\u0259z\u0259c\u0259 \u015f\u0259kil \u00e7\u0259kdirmi\u015fdik\u2026
\nBir anl\u0131q pauza ver\u0259nd\u0259n sonra he\u00e7 n\u0259 olmay\u0131bm\u0131\u015f kimi:
\n– M\u0259n onu \u00f6ld\u00fcrd\u00fcm,-dedi. Sonra m\u0259nim t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb\u00fcm\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcb:-O m\u0259nada yox, m\u0259n onu m\u0259n\u0259n \u00f6ld\u00fcrd\u00fcm. Q\u0259brin alt\u0131 bo\u015fdur, \u00e7\u00fcnki m\u0259n onu bura q\u0259d\u0259r sevirdim,- dedi v\u0259 bird\u0259n, g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259diyim halda \u00fcr\u0259kd\u0259n q\u0259hq\u0259h\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kib g\u00fcld\u00fc v\u0259 q\u0259brin alt\u0131n\u0131n bo\u015f oldu\u011funa m\u0259ni inand\u0131rmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ba\u015fda\u015f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6y\u0259cl\u0259di. M\u0259n el\u0259 ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm ki, h\u0259min adam ruhi x\u0259st\u0259dir.
\n-Bura is\u0259 m\u0259nim yerimdir,-o m\u0259n t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 baxmadan, bo\u015f yer\u0259 i\u015far\u0259yl\u0259 dedi,- ax\u0131 \u00f6l\u0259n\u0259 kimi, h\u0259tta o biri d\u00fcnyada da bir yerd\u0259 olaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131za s\u00f6z vermi\u015fdik. M\u0259n s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 durmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m\u2026
\nHava d\u0259yi\u015fmi\u015fdi, ya\u011f\u0131\u015f iyi g\u0259lirdi. Di\u015fimin a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131 tamam k\u0259smi\u015fdi. Dey\u0259s\u0259n, di\u015fim d\u0259 a\u011fr\u0131yana kimi m\u0259nim olmu\u015fdu, indi m\u0259n n\u0259 onu, n\u0259 d\u0259 a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 xat\u0131rlamaq ist\u0259yirdim. Di\u015fim m\u0259nim\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc\u2026
\n