{"id":20039,"date":"2024-07-25T12:31:05","date_gmt":"2024-07-25T08:31:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=20039"},"modified":"2024-08-28T20:34:52","modified_gmt":"2024-08-28T16:34:52","slug":"%c9%99zizaga-elsev%c9%99r-bogulmus-vicdan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=20039","title":{"rendered":"\u018fziza\u011fa Elsev\u0259r – Bo\u011fulmu\u015f vicdan"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"41406017_291144274810217_1079621380825153536_n\"<\/a>Hekay\u0259<\/b><\/p>\n

B\u0259dii \u0259s\u0259r \u0130lahid\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259n hissin, duy\u011funun t\u0259r\u0259nn\u00fcm\u00fcd\u00fcr. Onu almaq, ya satmaq yer \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn \u0259n \u015f\u0259r\u0259fsiz h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tidir. Bu, ilahi hiss\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t v\u0259 ba\u011f\u0131\u015flanmaz cinay\u0259tdir.<\/p>\n

Onun h\u0259yatda b\u0259xti yaman g\u0259tirmi\u015fdi. N\u0259yi arzulam\u0131\u015fd\u0131, o da y\u00fcy\u00fcr\u0259k aya\u011f\u0131na g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. H\u0259r \u015feyi var idi: evi-e\u015fiyi, var\u0131-d\u00f6vl\u0259ti, ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131, v\u0259zif\u0259si, mill\u0259t v\u0259killiyi, bir s\u00f6zl\u0259, h\u0259r \u015feyi. Ma\u011fazalar\u0131 g\u00f6z \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131r, reklamlar\u0131, par\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131 televiziya ekranlar\u0131ndan d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u015eadl\u0131q saraylar\u0131, restoranlar\u0131 dolub-bo\u015fal\u0131r, bir g\u00fcn bel\u0259 bo\u015f qalm\u0131rd\u0131. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fcn dediyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, \u201c yuxar\u0131lar\u0131n \u201c adam\u0131 idi. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 kims\u0259, d\u0259yib-toxunmur, c\u0259sar\u0259t edib g\u00f6z\u00fcn \u00fcst\u0259 qa\u015f\u0131n var demirdi. O da, \u201cyuxar\u0131lar\u0131n\u201d dedikl\u0259rind\u0259n bir k\u0259lm\u0259 k\u0259nara \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131rd\u0131. Des\u0259ydil\u0259r ki, qat\u0131q qarad\u0131r, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcb-da\u015f\u0131nmadan o da qara dey\u0259c\u0259kdi. Ax\u0131, bir d\u0259, h\u00fcn\u0259ri n\u0259 idi ki, ba\u015fqa s\u00f6z dey\u0259, h\u0259l\u0259 bir \u00f6zg\u0259 fikr\u0259 d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259. B\u00fct\u00fcn olan-qalanlar\u0131n\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n adlar\u0131 birc\u0259-birc\u0259 qara siyah\u0131ya tutulub, \u201cyuxar\u0131dak\u0131lar\u201d\u0131n stollar\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qoyulmu\u015fdu. El\u0259 bir him\u0259 b\u0259nd idi ki, \u00e7a\u015f\u0131b yolunu azsa, bir an\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 h\u0259r \u015feyini \u0259ll\u0259rind\u0259n al\u0131b, bo\u015f yurdda qoyacaqd\u0131lar. G\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 bo\u015f, q\u0131s\u0131la-q\u0131s\u0131la g\u0259lmi\u015fdi, ged\u0259nd\u0259 d\u0259 , ya\u011f\u0131\u015fdan islanm\u0131\u015f yoluq c\u00fcc\u0259 kimi suyu s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u0259-s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u0259 ged\u0259c\u0259kdi. El\u0259 bil b\u0259rk-b\u0259rk tap\u015f\u0131r\u0131b, qulaqlar\u0131na da astaca p\u0131\u00e7\u0131ldamaqla ar\u0131n-arxay\u0131n salm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar ki, qorxma, q\u0259tiyy\u0259n qorxma! Qanun dediyin n\u0259dir ki, qanunu m\u0259g\u0259r biz vermirikmi?! Ye, \u00fcr\u0259yin n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r ist\u0259yirs\u0259, ye, o\u011furla, \u00e7ap-tala, s\u00f6k, da\u011f\u0131t, lap ist\u0259yirs\u0259n xaraba qoy! Ancaq sahibinin aya\u011f\u0131na d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb yalmanan o k\u00f6p\u0259k kimi s\u0259daq\u0259tli ol! Unutma ki, o\u011furlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n yerini n\u0259 vaxtsa doldurmaq olar, ancaq it\u0259n s\u0259daq\u0259tin, inam\u0131n yerini doldurmaq olmaz! Unutsan… O g\u00fcn Bala\u011fan\u0131n g\u00f6zl\u0259ri yaman qorxmu\u015fdu. O an\u0131 xat\u0131rlayanda, el\u0259 indi d\u0259 az qal\u0131r ki, sar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 uda. Anas\u0131ndan \u0259mdiyi s\u00fcd\u00fc d\u0259 burnundan qaytara. H\u0259rd\u0259n: \u201c \u00dcz\u00fc k\u00f6lg\u0259li olmaq n\u0259 a\u011f\u0131r \u015fey imi\u015f, Allah!..\u201d dey\u0259 \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lday\u0131r, sonra \u00e7\u0259kin\u0259-\u00e7\u0259kin\u0259 yan-y\u00f6r\u0259sin\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131 ki, bird\u0259n kims\u0259 e\u015fid\u0259 bil\u0259r. Sonra o, kims\u0259nin e\u015fitm\u0259diyin\u0259 arxay\u0131n oldu\u011fundan u\u015faq vaxt\u0131nda oldu\u011fu kimi, \u0259ll\u0259rini cibl\u0259rin\u0259 qoyub, \u015falvar\u0131n\u0131 darta-darta ayaqlar\u0131n\u0131 yer\u0259 d\u00f6y\u0259r, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 sual ver\u0259rdi ki, \u201cAx\u0131 s\u0259n kims\u0259n, s\u0259n d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 ki\u015fimi deyirs\u0259n?! D\u00fcn\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r qoyun-quzunun dal\u0131na d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb da\u011fda-da\u015fda \u00e7oban – \u00e7oluqluq el\u0259mirdinmi?! Yaz\u0131q anan\u0131n yamaql\u0131 \u015falvar\u0131na yamaq \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n yamaq salmas\u0131ndan barmaqlar\u0131 qabar olmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m\u0131?! Qay\u0131\u015f yerin\u0259 belin\u0259 ba\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n ip n\u0259 tez yad\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b?! S\u0259n s\u0259kkizinci sinifd\u0259 oxuyanda d\u0259d\u0259n qon\u015fusuyla \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 qoyun satma\u011fa g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. Ev\u0259 yalavacl\u0131q, bac\u0131na q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 don, anana noxudu k\u0259la\u011fay\u0131 alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Yad\u0131ndam\u0131… s\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259, h\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131 toqqal\u0131 qay\u0131\u015f alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Toqqa ki\u00e7ik olsa da, ancaq ustal\u0131qla \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 d\u00f6ym\u0259 yolu il\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259l bir m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259 yaratm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. G\u00fcn\u0259\u015f da\u011flar\u0131n arxas\u0131ndan boy verir, d\u0259r\u0259 boyu \u00e7ay ax\u0131r, yamacda yap\u0131ncal\u0131 cavan \u00e7oban \u00e7oma\u011f\u0131na s\u00f6yk\u0259nib uzaqlara bax\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259\u0259, dey\u0259s\u0259n, unutdum, uzaqda, \u00fcf\u00fcq\u00fcn d\u0259rinliyind\u0259 n\u00f6qt\u0259-n\u00f6qt\u0259 durna k\u00f6\u00e7\u00fc d\u0259 var idi. D\u00fczd\u00fcr, toqqadak\u0131 \u015f\u0259kil balaca g\u00f6r\u00fcns\u0259 d\u0259, ancaq orada \u00e7ox b\u00f6y\u00fck m\u0259na var idi. Orada do\u011fuldu\u011fu k\u0259ndin ruhu, \u0259t\u0259yin\u0259 s\u0131\u011f\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131 Burovar da\u011flar\u0131n\u0131n sanki \u0259z\u0259m\u0259ti var idi. El\u0259 h\u0259min g\u00fcn belin\u0259 ba\u011flay\u0131b k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131n. H\u0259y\u0259candan titr\u0259y\u0259-titr\u0259y\u0259 ad\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f h\u0259rfini m\u00fcr\u0259kk\u0259bl\u0259 bil\u0259ngin\u0259 yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131n o q\u0131z\u0131n, Nadir\u0259gilin evinin qaba\u011f\u0131ndan el\u0259 raz\u0131-raz\u0131 ke\u00e7din ki, sanki d\u00fcnyan\u0131 s\u0259n\u0259 vermi\u015fdil\u0259r. He\u00e7 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrs\u0259nmi, g\u00f6r s\u0259ni hardan-hara g\u0259tirdil\u0259r?! Alimlik n\u0259 oldu\u011funu bilmirdin, alim el\u0259dil\u0259r. \u00d6 b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u00fckd\u0259 zavodun r\u0259hb\u0259rliyini s\u0259n\u0259 tap\u015f\u0131rd\u0131lar. \u201cH\u0259\u0259, indi s\u0259n d\u0259 bizl\u0259rd\u0259n oldun!..\u201d-deyib qaba\u011fa \u00e7\u0259kdil\u0259r. Ba\u011fl\u0131 yollar\u0131n a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131. Evind\u0259 yalan bitdi. Dilind\u0259 yalan g\u00f6y\u0259rdi. Yalan dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcn d\u0259 bilirdin. \u018fvv\u0259l-\u0259vv\u0259l bir az \u00e7\u0259kins\u0259n d\u0259, \u00a0sonra yava\u015f – yava\u015f ona da al\u0131\u015fd\u0131n. Sonra \u00f6z\u00fcn yalan uydurdun, h\u0259tta \u00f6z yalanlar\u0131na \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc d\u0259 inand\u0131r\u0131b, qol da g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb a\u011f\u0131r m\u0259clisl\u0259rd\u0259 oynad\u0131n da. \u018fvv\u0259l ail\u0259n utan\u0131rd\u0131 yalan dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259. Sonra onlar\u0131 da \u015fir\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kdin, o\u011furlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n, qamarlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n pullarla g\u00f6zl\u0259rini el\u0259 \u00f6rtd\u00fcn ki, bu yalan d\u00fcnyada yalan uydurmaqda onlar atl\u0131 oldu, s\u0259n piyada. Canavar i\u015ftahan a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131, d\u00fcnya mal\u0131 kor etdi g\u00f6zl\u0259rini. \u0130nsafdan, m\u00fcrv\u0259td\u0259n uzaq d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcn, h\u0259r g\u00fcn, n\u0259 bilim, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 h\u0259r saat bir bu\u011fda boyu d\u0259yi\u015fdin. Vaxt\u0131yla \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 tavan\u0131 alt\u0131na s\u0131\u011f\u0131nma\u011fa bir ev arzulam\u0131\u015fd\u0131n. \u0130ndi evl\u0259rinin say\u0131n\u0131 itirmis\u0259n, he\u00e7 el\u0259si var ki, aya\u011f\u0131n k\u0259ndar\u0131na bel\u0259 d\u0259ym\u0259yib, qap\u0131s\u0131ndan bel\u0259 ke\u00e7m\u0259mis\u0259n. H\u0259l\u0259 xaricd\u0259 ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n adan\u0131, yaxtan\u0131, villan\u0131, a\u00e7d\u0131\u011f\u0131n fabrikl\u0259ri, zavodlar\u0131 demirs\u0259n. Daha pula pul demirs\u0259n, sanki pul pay\u0131z x\u0259z\u0259ll\u0259ri kimi ya\u011f\u0131r ba\u015f\u0131na. G\u0259zm\u0259diyin \u00f6lk\u0259, g\u00f6rm\u0259diyin yerl\u0259r qoymam\u0131san. H\u0259rd\u0259n h\u0259l\u0259 \u00f6lm\u0259mi\u015f insaf\u0131n i\u00e7\u0259rid\u0259n s\u0259ni q\u0131d\u0131qlayanda, k\u00f6nl\u00fcnd\u0259n Ta\u011f\u0131yev olmaq ke\u00e7s\u0259 d\u0259, ancaq qorxundan s\u0259sini \u00e7\u0131xarda bilm\u0259mis\u0259n, bu m\u0259nimdir deyib ortal\u0131\u011fa \u00e7\u0131xma\u011fa c\u0259sar\u0259tin \u00e7atmay\u0131b. \u015e\u00f6hr\u0259t dal\u0131yca qa\u00e7\u0131b, \u015f\u00f6hr\u0259tli olmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc ora-bura \u00e7\u0131rpm\u0131san. Tan\u0131nmaq, \u201cb\u00f6y\u00fckl\u0259rin\u201d k\u00f6lg\u0259sind\u0259 \u00f6z k\u00f6lg\u0259ni g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259mis\u0259n. Ancaq k\u00f6lg\u0259d\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259nin k\u00f6lg\u0259si olmaz ax\u0131, atam balas\u0131?!<\/p>\n

Do\u011fuldu\u011fun k\u0259ndin a\u011fsaqqal\u0131 d\u0259d\u0259sind\u0259n Bala\u011faya ismar\u0131c g\u00f6nd\u0259rmi\u015fdi: \u201c Bu elin o\u011fludur. K\u0259ndd\u0259 u\u015faqdan-b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r ham\u0131 onunla q\u00fcrurlan\u0131r. Allaha \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr, \u0259li yuxar\u0131d\u0131r, qoy bir az da yuxar\u0131 olsun. Yolu b\u00f6y\u00fckd\u00fcr, b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u0259rn\u0259n d\u0259 oturub-d\u00fcrur. Nec\u0259 olsa, ad\u0131-san\u0131 var. Bu k\u0259nd\u0259 bir g\u00fcn a\u011flasa, q\u0259bah\u0259tmi olar?! Q\u0131\u015fda yollar\u0131n pal\u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan, \u00e7amurundan, yazda, yayda tozundan-torpa\u011f\u0131ndan t\u0259rp\u0259nm\u0259k olmur!.. K\u00f6rp\u00fcs\u00fc d\u0259 u\u00e7um-u\u00e7umdad\u0131r. \u0130ni\u015filki kimi sel g\u0259ls\u0259, onu da yuyub aparacaq. \u0130r\u0259yon m\u0259rk\u0259zi il\u0259 \u0259laq\u0259 k\u0259sils\u0259, he\u00e7 bizi itirib-axtaran da olmayacaq!..\u201d He\u00e7 el\u0259 bil o s\u00f6z\u00fc Bala\u011faya yox, da\u015fa-divara demi\u015fdil\u0259r, qurba\u011fa g\u00f6l\u00fcn\u0259 at\u0131lan o da\u015f kimi o da susmu\u015fdu. Dilind\u0259n ancaq birc\u0259 k\u0259lm\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131: \u201c Baxar\u0131q, indi \u0259lim a\u015fa\u011f\u0131d\u0131r, qoy bir az \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 g\u0259lim…\u201d Ancaq \u00f6z\u00fc bilirdi ki, yalan deyir, n\u0259f\u0259si d\u0259 yalandan g\u0259lir. He\u00e7 onun \u0259linin a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 oldu\u011funu g\u00f6r\u0259n olmu\u015fdumu?! \u0130nanan da\u015fa d\u00f6ns\u00fcn! Allah\u0131n qara da\u015f\u0131na! S\u00f6zd\u00fcr d\u0259, deyir, asan yox, k\u0259s\u0259n yox!.. K\u0259nd\u0259 t\u0259z\u0259 g\u0259lin g\u0259lmi\u015f co\u011frafiya m\u00fc\u0259llimi N\u0259rmin\u0259 xan\u0131m ona fl\u00fcger deyirdi. \u00c7oxlar\u0131 bu s\u00f6z\u00fc ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259diyind\u0259n el\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcl\u0259r ki, o, b\u00f6y\u00fck, \u00e7ox b\u00f6y\u00fck \u0259jdahad\u0131r. Zarafat deyil, ax\u0131 bunu u\u015faqlar\u0131n sevimlisi N\u0259rmin\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259llim\u0259 demi\u015fdi. K\u0259ndin a\u011fsaqqal\u0131 Qurban ki\u015fi d\u0259 \u00e7ox d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcb, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yormadan s\u00f6zl\u0259 m\u00f6h\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fc bas\u0131b Bala\u011faya pulgir ayamas\u0131n\u0131 yap\u0131\u015fd\u0131rm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Son vaxtlar h\u0259yat Bala\u011fa \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yaman cans\u0131x\u0131c\u0131, dar\u0131xd\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 ke\u00e7irdi. He\u00e7 n\u0259d\u0259n h\u0259zz ala bilmirdi. H\u0259r \u015feyi var idi, ancaq i\u00e7ind\u0259ki s\u0131x\u0131nt\u0131n\u0131n, narahatl\u0131\u011f\u0131n bu tezlikl\u0259 ke\u00e7ib ged\u0259c\u0259yin\u0259 inanm\u0131rd\u0131. \u015eair, yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131 olmaq e\u015fqin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Ancaq anlam\u0131rd\u0131 ki, b\u0259dah\u0259td\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259n s\u0259da, ilahid\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259n vergi olmasa, titr\u0259m\u0259y\u0259n duy\u011fular\u0131n hissl\u0259rini dill\u0259ndir\u0259 bilm\u0259z. S\u00f6z adamlar\u0131na h\u0259rd\u0259n pax\u0131ll\u0131\u011f\u0131 tuturdu. \u0130mkanlar\u0131 olmasa da, i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131, \u00e7ox i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcl\u0259r. El\u0259 i\u015f\u0131q ki, d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fckl\u0259ri m\u0259clisd\u0259 s\u00f6z\u00fc-s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259ri il\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7\u0259kib yuxar\u0131 ba\u015fda oturan Bala\u011fan\u0131 \u0259ridib he\u00e7 edirdil\u0259r. B\u0259z\u0259n g\u00fcnl\u0259rn\u0259n, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 aylarnan e\u015fitdiyi o s\u00f6zl\u0259r yadda\u015f\u0131ndan silinib getmirdi. S\u0259h\u0259r yataqdan qalxanda, \u0259l-\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc yuyub p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n mavi X\u0259z\u0259r\u0259, onun sahil\u0259, qayalara \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131lan k\u00f6p\u00fckl\u00fc sular\u0131na baxa-baxa qurulananda dodaqlar\u0131 alt\u0131nda p\u0131\u00e7\u0131ldar. Yerind\u0259 q\u0131m\u0131ldanar, \u0259l-qollar\u0131 il\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259r ed\u0259rdi. Bunlar h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131na \u00e7atmad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan, onun i\u00e7ind\u0259 \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259 toxumu c\u00fcc\u0259r\u0259r, \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lday\u0131b: \u201d Allah el\u0259m\u0259sin, ki\u015fiy\u0259 bird\u0259n n\u0259s\u0259 olar, eyy!..\u201d-dey\u0259rdi. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 durar, u\u015faq kimi ax\u0131ra q\u0259d\u0259r yem\u0259sin\u0259 n\u0259zar\u0259t ed\u0259rdi.<\/p>\n

Bala\u011fa arvad\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ox ist\u0259yir, onun qay\u011f\u0131ke\u015fliyini b\u0259y\u0259nirdi. S\u00fcfr\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131nda dedikl\u0259rin\u0259 \u0259m\u0259l edir, ax\u0131rda da, bir az g\u00fcls\u00fcnl\u0259r dey\u0259 bo\u015f qab\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259rib: \u201dOldu, q\u0259m\u0259ndir?!\u201d- dey\u0259 sa\u011f \u0259lini \u0259sk\u0259r kimi gicgah\u0131na apar\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Bala\u011fa ax\u015fam yem\u0259yind\u0259n sonra i\u015f ota\u011f\u0131na ke\u00e7di. Qap\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6rtm\u0259mi\u015fd\u0259n qabaq ham\u0131ya tap\u015f\u0131rd\u0131 ki, onu narahat etm\u0259sinl\u0259r, \u0259lind\u0259 vacib, \u00e7ox vacib i\u015fi var. H\u0259tta, \u201cyuxar\u0131dan\u201d z\u0259ng \u00e7alsalar bel\u0259, \u201cBir az soyuqlay\u0131b, yat\u0131r!\u201d-desinl\u0259r.<\/p>\n

Bala\u011fa i\u015f stolunun dal\u0131na ke\u00e7di. Qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na q\u0259l\u0259m, ka\u011f\u0131z qoydu. \u018fl-qollar\u0131n\u0131 bir-iki d\u0259f\u0259 sa\u011fa-sola yell\u0259yib q\u0131r\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131. \u018flini \u00e7\u0259n\u0259sin\u0259 s\u00f6yk\u0259yib, g\u00f6zl\u0259rini q\u0131yd\u0131. Dal\u011f\u0131n bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 m\u0259chul bir n\u00f6qt\u0259y\u0259 zill\u0259yib, bel\u0259c\u0259 bir xeyli baxd\u0131. Handan-hana fikirl\u0259rini bir yer\u0259 c\u0259ml\u0259yib:<\/p>\n

Da\u011flar m\u0259n\u0259 \u0259l eyl\u0259yir,<\/p>\n

Qoynundak\u0131 qoyun-quzu<\/p>\n

Bulud kimi d\u0259r\u0259 boyu axa-axa!..- yazd\u0131. Sonra n\u0259 illah el\u0259dis\u0259, dal\u0131n\u0131 g\u0259tir\u0259 bilm\u0259di. Sanki beyni qurumu\u015fdu, dilind\u0259n, yadda\u015f\u0131ndan s\u00f6zl\u0259r qa\u00e7aq d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Hirsind\u0259n \u0259lini yumruqlay\u0131b stola \u00e7\u0131rpd\u0131. Aya\u011fa durub fikus a\u011fac\u0131n\u0131 xat\u0131rladan k\u00fcncd\u0259ki kitab dolab\u0131n\u0131n b\u00f6yr\u00fcnd\u0259ki \u015fkaf\u0131n balaca g\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 saxlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 Fransan\u0131n Bordo \u015f\u0259h\u0259rind\u0259n g\u0259tirdiyi t\u00fcnd, bahal\u0131 \u201cLiber Pater\u201d \u015f\u0259rab\u0131ndan \u0259lli qram s\u00fcz\u00fcb i\u00e7di. \u0130\u00e7i ball\u0131 balaca bir no\u011ful da a\u011fz\u0131na at\u0131b otaq boyu g\u0259zindi. Yen\u0259 qay\u0131d\u0131b \u0259lli qram i\u00e7s\u0259 d\u0259, b\u0259d\u0259ni istil\u0259\u015fs\u0259 d\u0259, beynind\u0259n, a\u011fl\u0131ndan bir k\u0259lm\u0259 ke\u00e7m\u0259di ki, ke\u00e7m\u0259di. P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259y\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131b, t\u00fcl p\u0259rd\u0259ni \u00e7\u0259k\u0259-\u00e7\u0259k\u0259 d\u0259niz\u0259 baxd\u0131. El\u0259 bil ki, g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f\u00fc ay i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131na b\u00fcr\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f d\u0259nizd\u0259n n\u0259yi is\u0259 umur, k\u00f6m\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi. D\u0259niz k\u00f6p\u00fckl\u00fc sular\u0131, q\u0131r\u00e7\u0131n l\u0259p\u0259l\u0259riyl\u0259 sahil da\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 ayaqlar\u0131 alt\u0131na al\u0131r, iri, yosunlu qayalara \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131l\u0131b, \u00e7ilik-\u00e7ilik, q\u0259lp\u0259-q\u0259lp\u0259 t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fc. Gec\u0259 q\u0259ribliy\u0259 b\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcr, s\u0259ssizlik i\u00e7ind\u0259 yava\u015f-yava\u015f qaranl\u0131\u011f\u0131 yor\u011fan kimi sin\u0259sin\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kib na\u011f\u0131ll\u0131, kahk\u0259\u015fanl\u0131 yuxusuna gedirdi.<\/p>\n

Bala\u011fa bal\u0131q kimi \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131n\u0131r, \u00fcr\u0259yin\u0259 yatas\u0131, dilind\u0259 g\u00f6y\u0259r\u0259si s\u00f6z axtar\u0131rd\u0131. Sanki s\u00f6z d\u0259 qeyb\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kilmi\u015fdi, dumanlar, buludlar arxas\u0131nda gizl\u0259nmi\u015fdi. Qaralad\u0131\u011f\u0131 v\u0259r\u0259qi b\u00fcrm\u0259l\u0259yib ovcunda b\u0259rk-b\u0259rk s\u0131xd\u0131. El\u0259 bil tapmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 s\u00f6z\u00fcn, yaza bilm\u0259diyi \u015feirin heyfini ka\u011f\u0131zdan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

-Yox, \u015fairlik m\u0259nlik deyil! \u015eairlik \u0259zabd\u0131r, bir s\u00f6z \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131nmaq, yan\u0131b-yan\u0131b k\u00fcl i\u00e7ind\u0259n boylanmaqd\u0131r!-dedi Bala\u011fa. Yax\u015f\u0131s\u0131 budur, hekay\u0259, roman yazaram. \u00dcr\u0259yind\u0259 g\u0259zdirdiyi \u201cYarp\u0131zl\u0131 bula\u011f\u0131n s\u00f6yl\u0259dikl\u0259ri…\u201d \u00a0hekay\u0259sin\u0259 ba\u015flamaq ist\u0259di. H\u0259r \u015fey g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn qaba\u011f\u0131nda idi. O \u00e7ay, o d\u0259r\u0259, lal\u0259li d\u00fczl\u0259r, ba\u015f\u0131 qarl\u0131 da\u011flar. Ancaq bir k\u0259lm\u0259 yazan kimi h\u0259r \u015fey yad\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131. S\u00f6zl\u0259r beyninin aynas\u0131nda donub qal\u0131r, \u00fcr\u0259yinin istisin\u0259 b\u00fcr\u00fcn\u0259 bilmirdi. Nec\u0259 hirsl\u0259ndis\u0259, ka\u011f\u0131z\u0131, q\u0259l\u0259mi f\u0131rlad\u0131b stolun \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n q\u0259z\u0259bl\u0259 yer\u0259 t\u00f6kd\u00fc. \u018fll\u0259ril\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 tutub, b\u0259rk -b\u0259rk s\u0131xd\u0131. Otaq boyu g\u0259zindi. \u201c Liber Pater\u201d \u015f\u0259rab\u0131ndan s\u00fcz\u00fcb dalbadal i\u00e7di. Yanaqlar\u0131 q\u0131zard\u0131, ota\u011f\u0131n divarlar\u0131 dumanlanan g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259 oynad\u0131. \u015ei\u015fman qarn\u0131 a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131q etdi, ayaqlar\u0131 g\u00f6vd\u0259sinin tarazl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 saxlaya bilm\u0259di. G\u0259yir\u0259-g\u0259yir\u0259, f\u0131s\u0131ldaya-f\u0131s\u0131ldaya divana \u00e7\u00f6kd\u00fc. Dodaqlar\u0131 aras\u0131nda n\u0259yis\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r, \u0259l-qol at\u0131r, sanki havadan, bo\u015fluqdan yap\u0131\u015f\u0131b yenid\u0259n aya\u011fa durmaq ist\u0259yirdi. G\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131q \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcr, m\u00fcrg\u00fc yava\u015f-yava\u015f \u00e7\u0259kib \u00f6z al\u0259min\u0259 apar\u0131rd\u0131. S\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 yax\u0131n nigaran h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131 otaqdan bir h\u0259nirti g\u0259lm\u0259diyini g\u00f6r\u00fcb, sakitc\u0259 i\u00e7\u0259ri girdi. Bala\u011fa s\u0259rxo\u015f v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259 divana uzan\u0131b xorulday\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131 n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r silk\u0259l\u0259yib \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rsa da, k\u00f6m\u0259yi olmad\u0131. Ax\u0131rda \u0259lacs\u0131z qal\u0131b \u00a0adyal\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 \u00f6rtd\u00fc v\u0259 i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 s\u00f6nd\u00fcr\u00fcb sakitc\u0259 \u00f6z ota\u011f\u0131na getdi.<\/p>\n

\u0130ki h\u0259ft\u0259d\u0259n sonra Bala\u011fa d\u0259niz k\u0259nar\u0131ndak\u0131 \u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259l restoranlar\u0131ndan birind\u0259 iki n\u0259f\u0259rlik stol a\u00e7d\u0131rm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Stolda n\u0259 yox idi, qu\u015f s\u00fcd\u00fcnd\u0259n ba\u015fqa h\u0259r \u015fey yerind\u0259ydi. Restoran da ki, g\u00fcnd\u00fcz\u00fc qaynar, gec\u0259si sanki bir na\u011f\u0131l idi. D\u0259niz d\u0259 b\u00f6yr\u00fcnd\u0259 p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lday\u0131r, qumlu sahilin\u0259 ba\u015f qoyub sirli, m\u00fc\u0259mmal\u0131 n\u0259\u011fm\u0259sini oxuyurdu. Q\u0259rib\u0259ydi, Bala\u011fan\u0131n h\u0259r \u015feyi d\u0259niz sahilind\u0259 idi, sanki d\u0259nizl\u0259 n\u0259f\u0259s al\u0131rd\u0131. Evi d\u0259niz\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131, restoranlar\u0131, \u015fadl\u0131q evl\u0259ri, mehmanxanalar\u0131, ma\u011fazalar\u0131… h\u0259, h\u0259, lap zavodu, fabrikl\u0259ri d\u0259 d\u0259niz k\u0259nar\u0131ndayd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Bala\u011fa da\u011fda-d\u0259r\u0259d\u0259, qoyun-quzu aras\u0131nda b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Ancaq \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 h\u0259rd\u0259n t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259nirdi ki, onda bu q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259niz sevgisi hardand\u0131r. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 G\u00fcll\u00fc n\u0259n\u0259si demi\u015fdi ki, u\u015faq vaxt\u0131 atas\u0131 onun g\u00f6b\u0259yinin k\u0259siyini, g\u00f6b\u0259k ba\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259niz\u0259 at\u0131bm\u0131\u015f. At\u0131b ki, b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259nd\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yi d\u0259niz kimi b\u00f6y\u00fck, arzular\u0131, inamlar\u0131 sahilin\u0259 s\u0131\u011fmas\u0131n. D\u0259nizi g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 \u00e7\u0131l\u011f\u0131nla\u015far, G\u00fcll\u00fc n\u0259n\u0259sinin s\u00f6zl\u0259rini yad\u0131na sal\u0131b dodaqlar\u0131 aras\u0131nda q\u0131m\u0131\u015far, atas\u0131na buna g\u00f6r\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 min r\u0259hm\u0259t oxuyard\u0131. Heyif ki, bu g\u00fcnl\u0259rini doyunca g\u00f6rm\u0259di. \u00c7ox dedi, da\u011f\u0131-da\u015f\u0131, qoyun-quzunu at\u0131b evd\u0259 otur, ya \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 apar\u0131m, g\u0259linl\u0259rin, n\u0259v\u0259l\u0259rin qullu\u011funda dayans\u0131n. E\u015fitm\u0259di: \u201c \u015e\u0259h\u0259r m\u0259nlik deyil, o\u011ful!- dedi. O qutu-qutu evl\u0259rd\u0259 bo\u011fulub \u00f6l\u0259r\u0259m! – Bir ovuc torpa\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259rib: – Bax, bu torpaqdan mayam\u0131z yo\u011frulub. Aya\u011f\u0131m \u00fcz\u00fcls\u0259, m\u0259ni ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamaz o torpaq!..\u201d- s\u00f6yl\u0259yib q\u0259ti s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc bildirmi\u015fdi. \u00c7ap\u0131q qayaya s\u00f6yk\u0259n\u0259n Yall\u0131 d\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n ke\u00e7\u0259nd\u0259 q\u0259fil g\u0259l\u0259n sel a\u011fz\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. O da\u011flar\u0131n seli d\u0259 seldir ha! A\u011fz\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131lmas\u0131n, a\u00e7\u0131landa \u0259lini, aya\u011f\u0131n\u0131 y\u0131\u011fmaq olmur. H\u0259r \u015feyi qaba\u011f\u0131na al\u0131b q\u0259z\u0259bi soyuyana kimi Yall\u0131 d\u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r apar\u0131r. Orda el\u0259 bil selin k\u00f6p\u00fc al\u0131n\u0131r, dar m\u0259cradan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b d\u00fcz\u0259n boyu yay\u0131l\u0131r. Lal\u0259li, yarp\u0131zl\u0131, n\u0259rgizli d\u00fcz\u0259n sular\u0131n sin\u0259sin\u0259 ba\u015f qoyub sakit-sakit n\u0259f\u0259s al\u0131r. Bulan\u0131q sularda sanki g\u00fcll\u0259rin-\u00e7i\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259rin \u0259trind\u0259n m\u0259st olub, durulur. Q\u0259z\u0259bini, hikk\u0259sini i\u00e7in\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kib d\u00fczl\u0259rin su h\u0259sr\u0259tin\u0259, t\u0259\u015fn\u0259sin\u0259 m\u0259lh\u0259m olur.<\/p>\n

– G\u00f6zl\u0259diyiniz qonaq g\u0259ldi, miy\u0259llim! \u2013 Yar\u0131a\u00e7\u0131q qap\u0131dan ar\u0131q, uzun bo\u011faz\u0131n\u0131 ir\u0259li uzad\u0131b g\u00f6zl\u0259rini Bala\u011faya zill\u0259mi\u015f K\u0259rima\u011fan\u0131n s\u0259si onu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n ay\u0131rd\u0131. K\u0259rima\u011fa Bala\u011fan\u0131n b\u00f6y\u00fck day\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n q\u0131z n\u0259v\u0259si idi. \u018fsg\u0259rlikd\u0259n sonra d\u00f6rd ay olard\u0131 ki, \u201cF\u0131nd\u0131q\u201d restoran\u0131na inzibat\u00e7\u0131 g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Bir az sad\u0259l\u00f6vhl\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc k\u0259nara qoysaq, h\u0259l\u0259 ki, g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 pe\u015fiman da deyildi.<\/p>\n

– G\u0259lsin!.. K\u0259rima\u011fa, g\u0259lsin! G\u00f6zl\u0259tm\u0259, qoy g\u0259lsin!-deyib Bala\u011fa, ondan cavab g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259n qohumunu t\u0259l\u0259sdirdi.<\/p>\n

– G\u0259l, \u015fair, g\u0259l!- Bala\u011fa aya\u011fa durub \u015fair V\u00fcqar G\u00f6y\u0259z\u0259nlini xo\u015f t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcml\u0259 qap\u0131 a\u011fz\u0131nda qar\u015f\u0131lad\u0131. Qoluna girib d\u0259niz\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131lan p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259 qaba\u011f\u0131ndak\u0131 stolda \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdirdi. \u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259 otura-otura: – Bilmir\u0259m, kimd\u0259s\u0259 oxumu\u015fam.-dedi. -Amma g\u00f6z\u0259l deyib ha-a… S\u00f6z \u0259hliyl\u0259 ke\u00e7\u0259n \u00f6m\u00fcr yadda qalan \u00f6m\u00fcrd\u00fcr. S\u0259n xo\u015f g\u0259libs\u0259n, \u015fair qarda\u015f! Allah\u0131n verdiyi naz-nem\u0259tl\u0259 b\u0259z\u0259nmi\u015f s\u00fcfr\u0259md\u0259 bir tik\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k k\u0259sm\u0259k bu da talehin bir qism\u0259tidir. Taleh ba\u011fl\u0131 bir box\u00e7a, z\u0259r at\u0131lan bir oyundur. Onun i\u015fini kim bilir ki?! Kimin\u0259 \u015fe\u015f, kimin\u0259 yek g\u0259tirir. M\u0259n sizin yarad\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131za qibt\u0259 ed\u0259n, hardasa sevgiyl\u0259, say\u011f\u0131yla, h\u0259l\u0259 bir az da h\u0259s\u0259dl\u0259 yana\u015fan oxucular\u0131n\u0131zdan biriy\u0259m. A\u00e7\u0131q deyir\u0259m, bu g\u00fcn \u00fczd\u0259 olan be\u015f-\u00fc\u00e7 yazan varsa, onlardan biri, b\u0259lk\u0259 el\u0259 birincisi sizsiniz.<\/p>\n

– Bala\u011fa m\u00fc\u0259llim, \u00e7ox t\u0259rif olmad\u0131 ki?!<\/p>\n

-T\u0259rif niy\u0259, ay can\u0131m, olan\u0131 deyir\u0259m d\u0259! O, r\u0259hm\u0259tlik el\u0259-bel\u0259\u00a0 dem\u0259yib haa… \u201c Sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda qiym\u0259t verin insanlara.\u201d<\/p>\n

– \u00c7ox sa\u011f olun! Bu t\u0259rifi Sizd\u0259n e\u015fitm\u0259k m\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259 xo\u015fdur…<\/p>\n

– Ba\u015fla!.. Yem\u0259k soyuyur, bismillah el\u0259. Bu i\u00e7kil\u0259rd\u0259n hans\u0131ndan \u00fcr\u0259yin \u00e7\u0259kirs\u0259, onlar m\u0259nim sevdikl\u0259rimd\u0259ndir, m\u0259n d\u0259 s\u0259n i\u00e7\u0259nd\u0259n i\u00e7\u0259r\u0259m.<\/p>\n

– Ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n, m\u0259n i\u00e7kiy\u0259 o q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 meylli deyil\u0259m. Ancaq dediyiniz o xo\u015f s\u00f6zl\u0259rd\u0259n sonra Sizinl\u0259 i\u00e7m\u0259m\u0259k g\u00fcnah olard\u0131.<\/p>\n

– \u018fslin\u0259 baxanda, el\u0259 m\u0259n d\u0259 i\u00e7ki adam\u0131 deyil\u0259m. Yeri d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259, m\u0259clisd\u0259n-m\u0259clis\u0259 bo\u011faz\u0131m\u0131 ya\u015flay\u0131ram. H\u0259kimim d\u0259 m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t g\u00f6rm\u00fcr, deyir, bir az k\u00f6ks\u0259n \u00fcr\u0259yin\u0259 heyifin g\u0259lsin…<\/p>\n

– Ay L\u0259l\u0259, h\u0259kiml\u0259r d\u0259 \u00e7ox vasvas\u0131d\u0131r. Onlar\u0131n dediyin\u0259 qulaq assan onda g\u0259r\u0259k \u00e7ox ya\u015famayasan. H\u0259kimdir d\u0259, dediyin\u0259 ba\u015f \u00fcst\u0259 de, ancaq \u00f6z bildiyini d\u0259 unutma. \u0130nsan g\u0259r\u0259k \u00f6z\u00fc-\u00f6z h\u0259kimi olsun…<\/p>\n

Bir-birinin sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131na deyil\u0259n b\u0259la\u011f\u0259tli, qanadl\u0131 s\u00f6zl\u0259rin arxas\u0131nca qald\u0131r\u0131lan bad\u0259l\u0259r bo\u015fald\u0131qca, el\u0259 bil ki, otaq daha \u00e7ox i\u015f\u0131qland\u0131, q\u0131r\u0131\u015f\u0131qlar\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131, sanki gizl\u0259ndikl\u0259ri r\u0259smiyy\u0259t p\u0259rd\u0259sinin arxas\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b ya\u015fanm\u0131\u015f \u00f6mr\u00fcn g\u00fcneyind\u0259n boylanan bir az t\u0259miz, bir az da pak \u00f6zl\u0259ri oldular. Bala\u011fa g\u00f6zl\u0259rini V\u00fcqar G\u00f6y\u0259z\u0259nliy\u0259 zill\u0259yib soru\u015fdu:- Bilirs\u0259n niy\u0259 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rm\u0131\u015fam?<\/p>\n

– Yo-oox!.. Hardan bilim.<\/p>\n

– Bilmirs\u0259n. N\u0259 vaxtd\u0131r beynimd\u0259 dola\u015fan bir narahatl\u0131q m\u0259ni i\u00e7\u0259rid\u0259n yeyir. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u0259m, yarad\u0131c\u0131 ziyal\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z ehtiyaclar\u0131n\u0131 nec\u0259 \u00f6d\u0259yir, nec\u0259 dolan\u0131rlar. Ax\u0131 qabaqk\u0131 vaxt deyil, i\u015f yerl\u0259ri yox, kitab \u00e7\u0131xarda bilmirl\u0259r, daha qonorar da yoxdur. Kmin tan\u0131\u015f\u0131 var, kim yaltaql\u0131q, \u00fczd\u00fcl\u00fck edir, bir az qaba\u011fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr, kitabdan-zaddan buraxd\u0131r\u0131r. El\u0259l\u0259ri var, d\u0259risi bir q\u0259piy\u0259 d\u0259ym\u0259z d\u0259d\u0259l\u0259rin\u0259, babalar\u0131na palaz-palaz \u015f\u0259kill\u0259rl\u0259 dolu kitablar yazd\u0131r\u0131r. Yaz\u0131q yazar, neyl\u0259sin, t\u0259rif\u0259 layiq olmayana t\u0259rif dem\u0259lidir ki, be\u015f-\u00fc\u00e7 manat pulunu da ala bilsin. Ax\u0131 onun da ail\u0259si var, ehtiyac q\u0131l\u0131nc\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131y\u0131r\u0131b, \u018fr\u0259bz\u0259ngi kimi qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 k\u0259sdirib. Qiym\u0259tl\u0259r d\u0259 h\u0259r g\u00fcn qalx\u0131r. Dolan\u0131\u015f\u0131q da \u00e7\u0259tinl\u0259\u015fib. Ehtiyac\u0131 qap\u0131dan qovursan, p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n, buxar\u0131dan d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb: \u201c Bax\u0131n haa, m\u0259n g\u0259lmi\u015f\u0259m!..\u201d-deyir. Neyl\u0259y\u0259s\u0259n, \u00fczl\u00fc qonaq kimidir, g\u0259ldiyi yerd\u0259n n\u0259yis\u0259 qoparmam\u0131\u015f getm\u0259k d\u0259 ist\u0259mir. Kimisi irad\u0259sin\u0259 sahib \u00e7\u0131xa bilmir, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc toplay\u0131b yerind\u0259 b\u0259rk dayana bilmir, \u00e7ox yanl\u0131\u015f add\u0131m at\u0131r. Ail\u0259sini d\u0259, g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yini d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fcr, h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 pu\u00e7 edir. Xalq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn laz\u0131m olan o i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131, istedad\u0131 oda at\u0131r. Bu g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259 evin dam\u0131ndan \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc atan o \u015fair kimi. Kim idi o?!<\/p>\n

– Eldar Q\u0259hr\u0259manl\u0131! Hay\u0131f, hay\u0131f ondan!.. A\u00e7\u0131lmadan soldu…<\/p>\n

– Yaz\u0131qlar olsun, \u00e7ox yaz\u0131qlar! Deyir be\u015f balas\u0131 yetim qald\u0131. Evin yegan\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k g\u0259tir\u0259ni imi\u015f. Hans\u0131sa n\u0259\u015friyyatdan c\u00fczi maa\u015f al\u0131rm\u0131\u015f. \u00c7ox, \u00e7ox istedadl\u0131 imi\u015f, deyirl\u0259r.<\/p>\n

– B\u0259li, normal dolan\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 olsayd\u0131, \u00e7ox parlaya bil\u0259rdi. G\u0259nc idi. G\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yi h\u0259l\u0259 qabaqdayd\u0131. Amma hay\u0131f, \u00e7ox hay\u0131f. Kiray\u0259ni\u015fin imi\u015f. Balalar\u0131n\u0131n hal\u0131na ac\u0131y\u0131ram. Bir \u00f6m\u00fcr o d\u0259rdl\u0259 ya\u015fayacaqlar. Nec\u0259 olacaq hallar\u0131, Allah \u00f6z\u00fc k\u00f6m\u0259kl\u0259ri olsun!..<\/p>\n

– Q\u0259hr\u0259manl\u0131ya bir bax haa?! Daha bunun haras\u0131 q\u0259hr\u0259manl\u0131 oldu. Bel\u0259 q\u0259hr\u0259manl\u0131qm\u0131 olar? B\u0259s d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fcrs\u0259n ki, sabah balalar\u0131n nec\u0259 olacaq? \u00d6z\u00fcn\u0259 q\u0259sd etm\u0259k acizlik, irad\u0259sizlikdir. H\u0259yat m\u00fccadil\u0259, d\u00f6y\u00fc\u015f meydan\u0131d\u0131r, sin\u0259ni \u0259sg\u0259r kimi qaba\u011fa verib vuru\u015fmasan zaman\u0131n s\u0259rt k\u00fcl\u0259kl\u0259ri a\u011fz\u0131nda toz-torpaq kimi sovrulub ged\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n. Ehtiyac d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259n kimi s\u0259ni qaba\u011f\u0131na qat\u0131b qovacaq. S\u0131\u011f\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131n s\u0259ng\u0259rin bo\u015f qalacaq. At\u0131b qa\u00e7d\u0131\u011f\u0131n silah, istedad da sabah k\u00f6m\u0259yin\u0259 \u00e7atmayacaq. Bax, buna g\u00f6r\u0259 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rm\u0131\u015fam. Fikrimi, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, tutdun. N\u0259 etm\u0259k ist\u0259diyimi s\u0259ninl\u0259 m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tl\u0259\u015fm\u0259k, g\u00f6t\u00fcr-qoy etm\u0259k ist\u0259yir\u0259m. D\u00fcz\u00fc, \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259 orda- Bala\u011fa \u0259liyl\u0259 yuxar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259rdi: – mill\u0259t v\u0259kilxanas\u0131nda g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k ist\u0259dim. Sonra s\u0259rb\u0259stlik olsun dey\u0259, fikrimd\u0259n da\u015f\u0131n\u0131b buran\u0131 se\u00e7dim. E\u015fitmi\u015f olarsan, onlara \u201c lal, kar v\u0259 kor d\u00fcym\u0259basanlar\u201d deyirl\u0259r. Xalq he\u00e7 vaxt yan\u0131lm\u0131r, onun g\u00f6z\u00fc t\u0259r\u0259zidir. Haqq, \u0259dal\u0259t t\u0259r\u0259zisi! H\u0259r \u015feyi oldu\u011fu kimi d\u0259y\u0259rl\u0259ndirir.\u00a0 \u0130nsanlar bu d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 pak v\u0259 t\u0259miz bir vicdanla g\u0259lir. Onu Allah insana verir ki, o k\u00f6rp\u00fcd\u0259n ke\u00e7ib Tanr\u0131s\u0131na sar\u0131 yol g\u0259lsin. \u018fslin\u0259 baxsan, biz ali varl\u0131q kimi Tanr\u0131dan g\u0259lib, sonda da ruh \u015f\u0259klind\u0259 ona qay\u0131d\u0131r\u0131q! Vicdan Tanr\u0131 il\u0259 insan aras\u0131nda bir k\u00f6rp\u00fcd\u00fcr. Onu h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 \u0259m\u0259limizl\u0259 qorumal\u0131, l\u0259k\u0259l\u0259m\u0259k, u\u00e7urmaq laz\u0131m deyil. Yaz\u0131q o insana ki, vicdan\u0131 l\u0259k\u0259li bir \u00f6m\u00fcr ya\u015fay\u0131r. \u00c7al\u0131\u015f\u0131n h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 g\u00fczg\u00fcs\u00fc, aynas\u0131 t\u0259miz, parlaq olan bir \u00f6m\u00fcr ya\u015fay\u0131n. Kimins\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yini s\u0131nd\u0131rmay\u0131n, \u0259zab\u0131na, s\u0131x\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131na \u015f\u0259rik olun. Maddiyy\u0259t insan\u0131 s\u0131na\u011fa \u00e7\u0259k\u0259nd\u0259, g\u0259r\u0259k insan unutmas\u0131n ki, bu bir Tanr\u0131 imtahan\u0131d\u0131r. \u0130nsan\u0131n, insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n s\u0131na\u011fa \u00e7\u0259kildiyi imtahan! Tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n, etibar etdiyin, q\u0259l\u0259min\u0259, istedad\u0131na, s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u0259 g\u00fcv\u0259ndiyin yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131, \u015fair, jurnalist dostlar\u0131ndan bir komanda y\u0131\u011f. Pul sar\u0131dan he\u00e7 bir \u00e7\u0259tinliyiniz olmayacaq. Maliyy\u0259 d\u0259st\u0259yi ver\u0259c\u0259m. Arxay\u0131n olun ki, m\u0259vacibiniz o d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259d\u0259 olacaq ki, ail\u0259nizin yan\u0131nda da utan\u0131b-q\u0131zarmayacaqs\u0131n\u0131z. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m, ad\u0131n\u0131 \u201cM\u0259ram\u201d qoyaq o q\u0259zetin. M\u0259ram, m\u0259nc\u0259, g\u00f6z\u0259l add\u0131r. M\u0259rams\u0131z ya\u015famaq, m\u0259qs\u0259dsiz n\u0259y\u0259s\u0259 nail olmaq olmaz. M\u0259rams\u0131z insan, c\u0259miyy\u0259t qas\u0131r\u011fal\u0131, f\u0131rt\u0131nal\u0131 \u00fcmmanlar, d\u0259ryalar qoynunda yolunu az\u0131b d\u0259li dal\u011falarla \u00e7arp\u0131\u015fan kompass\u0131z g\u0259miy\u0259 b\u0259nz\u0259yir. Limana can at\u0131r, ancaq hans\u0131 limana- yolunu, s\u0259mtini tapa bilmir. G\u0259r\u0259k h\u0259yatda kim olursansa ol, yolun, m\u0259ram\u0131n olsun! Yolunu azma, yolunu azanda f\u0259lak\u0259t olar.<\/p>\n

\u201cM\u0259ram\u201d\u0131n t\u0259sis\u00e7isi, ba\u015f redaktoru s\u0259n ol, V\u00fcqar G\u00f6y\u0259z\u0259nli! Ad\u0131n kimi q\u0259zetimizi d\u0259 v\u00fcqarl\u0131 g\u00fcnl\u0259r\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xart.<\/p>\n

\u015eair V\u00fcqar h\u0259y\u0259canl\u0131, titr\u0259k s\u0259sl\u0259: – M\u0259nmi?! – soru\u015fdu.<\/p>\n

-N\u0259dir… niy\u0259 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259nirs\u0259n?! \u2013 Bala\u011fa dedi. \u2013 Narahatl\u0131\u011fa he\u00e7 bir \u0259sas yoxdur. Ax\u0131, dedim ki, arxan\u0131zda m\u0259n varam. N\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tinliyiniz olacaqsa, o m\u0259nlikdir. Yet\u0259r ki, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz\u0259 inam\u0131n\u0131z olsun! \u018fmin\u0259m ki, he\u00e7 bir \u00e7\u0259tinliyiniz d\u0259 olmayacaq!.. Dem\u0259k, raz\u0131la\u015fd\u0131q. \u201c M\u0259ram\u201d 16-18 s\u0259hif\u0259lik olsun. H\u0259ft\u0259d\u0259 d\u0259 bir d\u0259f\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xs\u0131n. Sat\u0131\u015f olmas\u0131n, onu oxuyas\u0131 institutlarda, idar\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259, n\u0259 bilim yarad\u0131c\u0131 t\u0259\u015fkilatlarda, daha harda, harda pulsuz paylans\u0131n. \u018fvv\u0259lc\u0259 tiraj\u0131n\u0131 min n\u00fcsx\u0259 ed\u0259k, oxucu qazanaq, maraq artd\u0131qca tiraj\u0131 da art\u0131raq, lap h\u0259ft\u0259d\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7 d\u0259f\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xaq. Komandan\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcn se\u00e7, ne\u00e7\u0259 n\u0259f\u0259r olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259 de.<\/p>\n

-Be\u015f n\u0259f\u0259r b\u0259s ed\u0259r? -dey\u0259, \u015fair soru\u015fdu.<\/p>\n

-Yox, be\u015f n\u0259f\u0259r \u00e7ox azd\u0131r. \u2013 Bala\u011fa etiraz etdi: – Dedim ki, pul sar\u0131dan narahat olma. He\u00e7 olmasa, on, lap qoy el\u0259 on be\u015f n\u0259f\u0259r olsun. Yax\u015f\u0131 q\u0259zet \u00e7\u0131xarmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, r\u0259qab\u0259t meydan\u0131nda \u0259zilib s\u0131radan \u00e7\u0131xmamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn komandan da g\u00fccl\u00fc olmal\u0131d\u0131r. Bir adama \u00fc\u00e7 adam\u0131n i\u015fini g\u00f6rd\u00fcr\u0259nd\u0259,\u00a0 onda hans\u0131 u\u011furdan, hans\u0131 nailiyy\u0259td\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fmaq olar.<\/p>\n

-H\u0259\u0259… i\u015fl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 raz\u0131la\u015fd\u0131qsa, -Bala\u011fa ayaq \u00fcst\u0259 durub, otaqda g\u0259zi\u015f\u0259-g\u0259zi\u015f\u0259: – onda m\u0259nim iki \u015f\u0259rtim var.- dedi. Dinl\u0259 v\u0259 toplayacaq yazarlar\u0131nla da fikirl\u0259rimi b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015f\u0259rs\u0259n. \u0130lk \u015f\u0259rtim odur ki, biz siyas\u0259td\u0259n, m\u00fcxaliflikd\u0259n, dedi-qodudan, qeyb\u0259td\u0259n uzaq olub, kimis\u0259 qaralay\u0131b, kimins\u0259 fitvas\u0131yla l\u0259k\u0259l\u0259m\u0259 yolu tutmayaca\u011f\u0131q. Yolumuz orta, miyan\u0259 yol olacaq. T\u0259hsild\u0259n, elmd\u0259n, s\u0259hiyy\u0259d\u0259n, m\u0259d\u0259niyy\u0259td\u0259n, tariximizin qaranl\u0131q s\u0259hif\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n, unudulmu\u015f b\u00f6y\u00fck \u015f\u0259xsiyy\u0259tl\u0259rimizd\u0259n, \u015fairl\u0259rimizd\u0259n, aliml\u0259rimizd\u0259n, onlar\u0131n a\u011fr\u0131l\u0131-ac\u0131l\u0131 taleyind\u0259n, xo\u015f g\u00fcnl\u0259rind\u0259n, bir s\u00f6zl\u0259, mill\u0259timizin g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k x\u00f6\u015fb\u0259xt taleyind\u0259n, Qaraba\u011f sava\u015f\u0131ndan, daha n\u0259 bilim n\u0259l\u0259r, n\u0259l\u0259r… M\u0259g\u0259r bunlar azd\u0131rm\u0131?! \u0130nand\u0131r\u0131ram sizi, bu s\u0259pgid\u0259 yazacaqlar\u0131n\u0131z \u00e7oxlar\u0131n\u0131n mara\u011f\u0131na s\u0259b\u0259b olacaq v\u0259 q\u0259zetinizin oxucular\u0131n\u0131n say\u0131n\u0131 daha da art\u0131racaqd\u0131r. B\u00fct\u00fcn yaz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n ana x\u0259ttind\u0259 milli ruha, d\u00f6vl\u0259t\u00e7iliy\u0259 s\u0259daq\u0259t durmal\u0131d\u0131r. Allaha \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr, Siz \u015fairl\u0259r, yazarlar da bu ruhda t\u0259rbiy\u0259 alm\u0131\u015f v\u0259 bu ruhda da yaz\u0131b-yaradan insanlars\u0131n\u0131z. G\u00fcc\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc birl\u0259\u015fdirib, inan\u0131ram ki, \u00e7ox oxunaql\u0131, lap el\u0259 \u0259l-\u0259l g\u0259z\u0259si q\u0259zet d\u0259 buraxaca\u011f\u0131q.<\/p>\n

-Bu \u015f\u0259rt g\u00f6z\u0259l, ham\u0131m\u0131z \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn m\u0259qbuldur. Mill\u0259t\u0259, d\u00f6vl\u0259t\u0259 xidm\u0259t etm\u0259yin \u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259l yoludur. Ziyal\u0131l\u0131q t\u0259m\u0259nnas\u0131zl\u0131q, mill\u0259tin a\u011fr\u0131l\u0131, yaral\u0131 yerini tap\u0131b h\u0259kim kimi m\u00fcalic\u0259 etm\u0259kdir. Ara qar\u0131\u015fd\u0131rmaq, bulan\u0131q suda bal\u0131q tutmaq biz\u0259 yara\u015fmaz. D\u00fc\u015fm\u0259n di\u015fini q\u0131c\u0131d\u0131b, sa\u011f\u0131m\u0131z, solumuz mar\u0131\u011fa yat\u0131b, Allah\u0131n verdiyi s\u0259rv\u0259ti mill\u0259timiz\u0259 \u00e7ox g\u00f6r\u00fcrl\u0259r. M\u00fcst\u0259qilliyimiz \u00e7oxusunun yuxusuna haram qat\u0131b. \u0130\u015f\u011fal olunmu\u015f torpa\u011f\u0131m\u0131z d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259n tapda\u011f\u0131ndad\u0131r. Qay\u0131daca\u011f\u0131q, n\u0259yin bahas\u0131na olursa, olsun, bir g\u00fcn yen\u0259 o yerl\u0259r\u0259, da\u011f\u0131d\u0131l\u0131b, viran olmu\u015f yurdlar\u0131m\u0259\u0131za qay\u0131daca\u011f\u0131q. Ancaq biz\u0259 h\u0259l\u0259 vaxt laz\u0131md\u0131r! G\u00fccl\u0259nm\u0259yimiz \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, \u0259qid\u0259mizi, inam\u0131m\u0131mz\u0131 yumruq kimi bir yer\u0259 vurma\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn! B\u0259li, q\u0259zet tribunad\u0131r, ziyal\u0131lar\u0131n b\u00f6y\u00fck amallar u\u011frunda m\u00fcbariz\u0259 meydan\u0131d\u0131r. Meydandan qa\u00e7maq yox, meydana g\u0259lm\u0259k laz\u0131md\u0131r. B\u0259s o biri, o biri \u015f\u0259rtiniz n\u0259dir?!<\/p>\n

-H\u0259\u0259… ikinci \u015f\u0259rtim o q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tin deyil. Bu sizin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00e7ox, \u00e7ox asand\u0131r. H\u0259r n\u00f6mr\u0259d\u0259 m\u0259nim haqq\u0131mda n\u0259 is\u0259 verm\u0259lisiniz. Bunu \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz fikirl\u0259\u015fin, nec\u0259, n\u0259 c\u00fcr?! Bax, bu t\u0259r\u0259f m\u0259nlik deyil, daha sizlikdir!.. Ancaq el\u0259 etm\u0259lisiniz ki, maliyy\u0259\u00e7inizin m\u0259n oldu\u011funu kims\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259sin. Kims\u0259 q\u0131sqan\u0131b i\u00e7\u0259rid\u0259n \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcm\u0259sin. \u018fslin\u0259 baxanda burda pis i\u015f g\u00f6rm\u00fcr\u00fck, pis d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259lil\u0259r, x\u0259bis insanlar x\u0259bisliyind\u0259n \u0259l \u00e7\u0259km\u0259s\u0259.<\/p>\n

-Bax, bu i\u015fin \u00e7\u0259tin t\u0259r\u0259fidir, Bala\u011fa\u00a0 m\u00fc\u0259llim. Siz alimsiniz, mill\u0259t v\u0259kilisiniz, dey\u0259k bir d\u0259f\u0259 m\u00fcsahib\u0259 verdik. B\u0259s sonra, sonra nec\u0259 olsun! Elmi i\u015finizd\u0259n n\u0259yis\u0259 t\u0259krar d\u0259rc ed\u0259 bilm\u0259rik. Bu, oxucu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259 yorucu, maraqs\u0131z ola bil\u0259r. Durum deyim, \u015fair, ya yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z \u0259s\u0259rl\u0259rinizi d\u0259 h\u0259r sayda yuxar\u0131 ba\u015fda ver\u0259k?!<\/p>\n

-N\u0259 olar, \u015fair, yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131 deyil\u0259ms\u0259, – Bala\u011fa \u015fairin s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc k\u0259sdi. Q\u0131m\u0131\u015fa-q\u0131m\u0131\u015fa \u2013 onu da ed\u0259rsiniz. N\u0259 var ki, sizin \u0259linizd\u0259 o bir i\u00e7imlik su kimidir. Hekay\u0259dir, romand\u0131r… n\u0259 yazsan\u0131z on-on be\u015f qat art\u0131qlamas\u0131yla z\u0259hm\u0259tinizin haqq\u0131n\u0131 da alacaqs\u0131n\u0131z. Bu d\u00fcnyada istedada baxan kimdir. Onsuz da h\u0259r \u015feyin haqq t\u0259r\u0259zisi pozulub. \u0130stedad bir qar\u0131n \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259y\u0259 m\u00f6htacd\u0131rsa, onda hans\u0131 \u0259dal\u0259td\u0259n, hans\u0131 insanl\u0131qdan dan\u0131\u015fmaq olar?! Buyur, h\u0259r \u015fey al\u0131n\u0131b-sat\u0131l\u0131rsa, daha s\u0259n niy\u0259 bunu \u00f6z\u00fcn \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259rd ed\u0259s\u0259n, ar bil\u0259s\u0259n.<\/p>\n

\u201cM\u0259ram\u201d \u00f6z m\u0259ram\u0131yla \u00fc\u00e7 aydan sonra bu i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131, bir az \u00e7irkin, bir az da dedi-qodulu d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259ldi. Sakit, s\u0259ssiz, kimins\u0259 \u0259lin\u0259, aya\u011f\u0131na dola\u015fmadan g\u0259ldi. Q\u0259zet bollu\u011funda onun g\u0259li\u015fini, el\u0259 bil ki, he\u00e7 k\u0259s hiss etm\u0259di. Onun m\u0259qs\u0259di uzaq, m\u0259nzili il\u011f\u0131ml\u0131, yolu dolayl\u0131-qolayl\u0131 idi. H\u0259l\u0259 tan\u0131nmas\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r yol ke\u00e7m\u0259li, \u00e7ox sars\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131, \u00e7ox f\u0259r\u0259hli g\u00fcnl\u0259rin\u0259 qatmal\u0131 idi. G\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczl\u0259, a\u011fr\u0131-ac\u0131m\u0131zla n\u0259f\u0259s al\u0131rd\u0131 \u201cM\u0259ram\u201d. O he\u00e7 d\u0259 bizd\u0259n uzaqda deyildi, pulsuz, t\u0259m\u0259nnas\u0131z payland\u0131\u011f\u0131 ziyal\u0131lar\u0131n evind\u0259, stolunun \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 \u0259zizl\u0259nirdi. G\u00fcnl\u0259r ke\u00e7dikc\u0259, o biri q\u0259zetl\u0259rd\u0259n se\u00e7ilir, b\u00f6y\u00fck oxucu k\u00fctl\u0259si yaran\u0131rd\u0131. Bala\u011fan\u0131n maliyy\u0259si ax\u0131b g\u0259lir, dediyi \u015f\u0259rtl\u0259r \u00f6z q\u00fcvv\u0259sind\u0259 qal\u0131rd\u0131. \u201cM\u0259ram\u201d saydan-saya y\u00fcks\u0259lir, nec\u0259 dey\u0259rl\u0259r, g\u00fczg\u00fcy\u0259 bax\u0131b \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 vurulan g\u00f6z\u0259ll\u0259r kimi g\u00f6z\u0259ll\u0259\u015firdi. H\u0259r say\u0131n ikinci s\u0259hif\u0259sind\u0259n Bala\u011fan\u0131n \u015f\u0259kli boylan\u0131rd\u0131. S\u00f6z\u00fc-s\u00f6z\u0259 calay\u0131b onun haqq\u0131nda bir \u0259hvalat uydururdular. Daha \u0259hvalatlar da bitirdi. Q\u0259zet \u0259m\u0259kda\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcr\u0259yin\u0259 i\u015f\u0131q, evl\u0259rin\u0259 istilik, ehtiyacdan, s\u0131x\u0131nt\u0131dan uzaq arxay\u0131n\u00e7\u0131l\u0131q g\u0259lirdi. \u015eair V\u00fcqar G\u00f6y\u0259z\u0259nli \u00f6z d\u00f6stlar\u0131n\u0131n, tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 q\u0259l\u0259m sahibl\u0259rinin \u0259hat\u0259sind\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7ox rahat hiss edirdi. Ancaq Bala\u011fan\u0131n ikinci \u015f\u0259rtini he\u00e7 k\u0259s\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131b a\u011fartm\u0131rd\u0131. Bu sirr, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, q\u0259br evin\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r onunla ged\u0259c\u0259kdi. Bala\u011fan\u0131n ad\u0131na n\u0259s\u0259 uydurub yazmal\u0131yd\u0131. Hekay\u0259mi, povestmi, romanm\u0131…h\u0259l\u0259 bilmirdi. X\u0259yal\u0131nda n\u0259s\u0259 uydurur, n\u0259s\u0259 yarad\u0131rd\u0131. M\u0259nliyini, q\u00fcrurunu \u0259z\u0259-\u0259z\u0259 yazmal\u0131yd\u0131. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131b, bir \u00f6zg\u0259 at\u0259\u015find\u0259 yana-yana yazmal\u0131yd\u0131. \u0130\u00e7ind\u0259 nifr\u0259t, \u00e7\u00f6l\u00fcnd\u0259 yalan\u00e7\u0131, saxta h\u00f6rm\u0259t g\u0259zdirirdi \u015fair. \u0130mkan\u0131 olsayd\u0131, bu saxta, yalan\u00e7\u0131 d\u00fcnyadan ba\u015f g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb qa\u00e7ar, \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n gizl\u0259n\u0259rdi. Ancaq hara, hara qa\u00e7acaqd\u0131 ki?! D\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fc nifr\u0259td\u0259n yo\u011frulmu\u015fdu el\u0259 bil. F\u0259l\u0259yin \u00e7arx\u0131 d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. \u0130nsanl\u0131q\u00a0 pay\u0259nd\u0259z olub ayaqlar alt\u0131na at\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Ehtiyac\u0131n, s\u0131x\u0131nt\u0131n\u0131n ac\u0131, soyuq n\u0259f\u0259sini g\u00fccl\u0259 qap\u0131dan qovurdu. Neyl\u0259sin, indi \u0259l\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n f\u00fcrs\u0259ti, imkan\u0131 itirsinmi deyirs\u0259n? Ax\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fc t\u0259k deyildi, \u00a0\u0259traf\u0131nda\u00a0 ona \u00fcmid i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 kimi baxan on be\u015f ail\u0259 ba\u015f\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 da var idi. Onlar\u0131n da halal-haqq\u0259nn\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259yi burdan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131. \u018fvv\u0259lc\u0259, \u015fair bir na\u011f\u0131l, bir \u0259fsan\u0259 uydurdu Bala\u011fan\u0131n ad\u0131na. Sonra \u201cYarp\u0131zl\u0131 bula\u011f\u0131n sevgi na\u011f\u0131l\u0131\u201dn\u0131 yazd\u0131. Ancaq \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259\u00a0 a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131, t\u0259r\u0259dd\u00fcd\u00fc azalmad\u0131. Nifr\u0259ti, q\u0131sqancl\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7ind\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc yand\u0131rd\u0131. Ax\u0131 niy\u0259, niy\u0259 onun ad\u0131ndan n\u0259yis\u0259 verm\u0259liy\u0259m? Niy\u0259 Allah\u0131n m\u0259n\u0259 verdiyi o istedad\u0131, qabiliyy\u0259ti ona x\u0259rcl\u0259m\u0259liy\u0259m?! Bu, vicdan\u0131, l\u0259yaq\u0259ti pula satmaq deyilmi? \u0130nsan \u00f6z\u00fc-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t edirs\u0259, bilmir\u0259m, bilmir\u0259m buna n\u0259 ad verm\u0259k olar?- d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc. Sonra sakit, soyuq ba\u015fla dedikl\u0259rinin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 yeridi. \u201dPulsuz ki\u015fi, insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 asanm\u0131 san\u0131rsan?\u201d dey\u0259, kimins\u0259 e\u015fitm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259yi t\u0259rzd\u0259 dodaqlar\u0131 aras\u0131nda p\u0131\u00e7\u0131ldad\u0131. H\u0259\u0259, ax\u0131 ham\u0131n\u0131n y\u00fck\u00fcn\u00fc s\u0259n \u00e7\u0259km\u0259lis\u0259n. Onlar he\u00e7 bilmirl\u0259r Bala\u011fan\u0131n ad\u0131ndan n\u0259 yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131. Bils\u0259l\u0259r, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 V\u00fcqar\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 baxmaz, kinay\u0259li, eyhaml\u0131 bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131yla V\u00fcqar\u0131 \u0259z\u0259r, \u015feirl\u0259rind\u0259 tap\u0131b s\u0131\u011f\u0131nd\u0131qlar\u0131 s\u0259mimiyy\u0259t\u0259 d\u0259 t\u00fcp\u00fcr\u0259rdil\u0259r…<\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7ind\u0259 kimins\u0259 duymad\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u0259rin sars\u0131nt\u0131, g\u0259rginlik, \u0259s\u0259bilik v\u0259 t\u0259lat\u00fcm ya\u015fayan \u015fair V\u00fcqar G\u00f6y\u0259z\u0259nli sonda ac\u0131 bir \u00fcmid\u0259 s\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131b t\u0259z\u0259c\u0259 tamamlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u201cBir d\u0259niz sevgisi…\u201d hekay\u0259sini \u201c\u018fd\u0259biyyat \u015f\u00f6b\u0259si\u201dnin m\u00fcdiri Aslan \u015eir\u0259linin qaba\u011f\u0131na qoyub: – Bala\u011fa m\u00fc\u0259llimindir!.. Oxu, fikrini m\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259 dey\u0259rs\u0259n. -dedi. Siqaret \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b ac\u0131-ac\u0131 s\u00fcm\u00fcrd\u00fc. Sanki t\u00fcst\u00fc onun duy\u011fular\u0131 idi, bo\u011fula-bo\u011fula, q\u0131vr\u0131la-q\u0131vr\u0131la otaq havas\u0131na qar\u0131\u015f\u0131b ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 \u0259riyirdi.<\/p>\n

Aslan \u015eir\u0259li bir q\u0259d\u0259r t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259: – Bala\u011fa da yaz\u0131r?!- soru\u015fdu.<\/p>\n

-Yaz\u0131r, Aslan, yaz\u0131r! \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fcn dediyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, \u00e7oxdan, lap \u00e7oxdan, h\u0259l\u0259 m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 oxudu\u011fu vaxtdan yaz\u0131r. Ancaq n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259, ortal\u0131\u011fa \u00e7\u0131xartmaqdan \u00e7\u0259kinirmi\u015f…<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015f g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fcn ax\u0131r\u0131na yax\u0131n Aslan \u015eir\u0259li sanki n\u0259 vaxtdan b\u0259ri axtard\u0131\u011f\u0131 qiym\u0259tli bir itkisini tapm\u0131\u015f birisi kimi h\u00f6vll\u00fc ba\u015f redaktor V\u00fcqar\u0131n ota\u011f\u0131na girib: -\u0130stedad, vallah, istedad!-dey\u0259 sevincl\u0259, h\u0259y\u0259canla bildirdi. \u018fsl yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131d\u0131r, bel\u0259l\u0259rini tap\u0131b ortal\u0131\u011fa \u00e7\u0131xartmaqdan g\u00f6z\u0259l add\u0131m n\u0259 ola bil\u0259r ?!<\/p>\n

-Deyirs\u0259n, \u00e7ap etm\u0259k olar d\u0259?!<\/p>\n

-Olar n\u0259dir, \u015fair? \u00c7ap\u0131 h\u0259l\u0259 q\u0259zet\u0259 bir \u015f\u00f6hr\u0259t d\u0259 g\u0259tir\u0259r.<\/p>\n

\u201cBir d\u0259niz sevgisi…\u201d\u00a0 \u201cM\u0259ram\u201dda\u00a0 \u00e7ap olundu. Bir h\u0259ft\u0259 \u0259rzind\u0259 onu t\u0259rifl\u0259y\u0259n \u00fc\u00e7 m\u0259qal\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Maraql\u0131s\u0131 da o idi ki, h\u0259r \u015fey\u0259 qulp qoyan \u201cM\u0131z Q\u0259mb\u0259r\u201d d\u0259 o t\u0259rif yazanlar\u0131n aras\u0131nda idi. Sonra b\u0259lli oldu ki, \u201cM\u0131z Q\u0259mb\u0259r\u201din o\u011flunu o say\u0131l\u0131b-se\u00e7il\u0259n nazirliy\u0259 kim d\u00fcz\u0259ldib. Sonra yeni, daha sonra yeni hekay\u0259l\u0259ri \u00e7ap olundu. Bala\u011fan\u0131n i\u015ftahas\u0131 artd\u0131, povest e\u015fqin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. \u201cO da\u011flarda n\u0259yim qald\u0131…\u201d povesti q\u0259zetin d\u00fcz on be\u015f say\u0131nda \u00e7ap olundu. \u015e\u00f6hr\u0259t h\u0259r g\u00fcn qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6yd\u00fc. A\u011f\u0131la s\u0131\u011fmayan yerl\u0259rd\u0259n m\u0259ktublar g\u0259ldi. Burda yaz\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n m\u00fcr\u0259kk\u0259bi qurumam\u0131\u015f okean\u0131n o tay\u0131ndan kitab\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ap etm\u0259k ist\u0259yi \u00e7atd\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131. Uzaq \u015e\u0259rqd\u0259 bir m\u00fc\u0259llim\u0259 Bala\u011fan\u0131n hekay\u0259sind\u0259n t\u0259sirl\u0259nib nec\u0259 z\u00fcl\u00fcm-z\u00fcl\u00fcm a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan yaz\u0131r, m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259r ota\u011f\u0131nda q\u0259zetin \u0259ld\u0259n-\u0259l\u0259 g\u0259zdiyini deyirdi. H\u0259r h\u0259ft\u0259 bir dild\u0259, bir \u00f6lk\u0259d\u0259 Bala\u011fan\u0131n yaz\u0131lar\u0131 \u00e7ap olunurdu. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, ild\u0131r\u0131m s\u00fcr\u0259ti d\u0259 yalan idi ona tez \u00e7atan o sevindirici x\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259rin yan\u0131nda. \u0130ndi o biri q\u0259zetl\u0259r, jurnallar da maraqlan\u0131rd\u0131 Bala\u011fan\u0131n yaz\u0131lar\u0131 il\u0259. M\u00fcsahib\u0259 g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn n\u00f6vb\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259nl\u0259r o q\u0259d\u0259r \u00e7oxalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, h\u0259tta vaxt \u00e7atd\u0131ra bilm\u0259diyind\u0259n Bala\u011fa da gileyli\u00a0 d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Q\u0131sa vaxtda be\u015f \u00f6lk\u0259d\u0259 on dild\u0259 kitablar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. He\u00e7 qonorara da ehtiyac\u0131 yox idi. Ancaq insaf\u0259n, \u0259dal\u0259t xatirin\u0259 des\u0259k, qonorar\u0131n\u0131 da g\u00f6nd\u0259rirdil\u0259r.<\/p>\n

Aylar, ill\u0259r \u00f6td\u00fckc\u0259, \u201cM\u0259ram\u201d\u0131n da n\u00fcfuzu qalx\u0131r, q\u0259zet, jurnal bollu\u011funda yava\u015f-yava\u015f se\u00e7ilib \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 yer-yurd qazan\u0131rd\u0131. Oxucular\u0131n\u0131n, yazanlar\u0131n\u0131n say\u0131 art\u0131r, elmi-t\u0259dqiqat institutlar\u0131ndan, t\u0259hsil ocaqlar\u0131ndan, nazirlikl\u0259rd\u0259n, yarad\u0131c\u0131 t\u0259\u015fkilatlardan, daha n\u0259 bilim hardan, hardan z\u0259ngl\u0259r \u00e7al\u0131n\u0131r, xahi\u015f m\u0259ktublar\u0131 g\u0259lirdi ki, q\u0259zetin saylar\u0131ndan onlara da \u00e7atd\u0131rs\u0131nlar. \u201cM\u0259ram\u201dla b\u0259rab\u0259r, Bala\u011fa da tan\u0131n\u0131r, \u015f\u00f6hr\u0259ti, n\u00fcfuzu y\u00fcks\u0259lirdi. D\u00fczd\u00fcr, Bala\u011fa \u00fcz\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xmasa da, ancaq h\u0259r sayda varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 duyulur, n\u0259f\u0259si hiss olunurdu. Q\u0259zetin tiraj\u0131 da artm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Tariximizin qaranl\u0131q qatlar\u0131na enir, unudulmu\u015flar xat\u0131rlan\u0131r, yadda\u015flardan silin\u0259nl\u0259r, repressiya qurbanlar\u0131 sanki yenid\u0259n \u201cdo\u011fulub\u201d elin\u0259, evin\u0259-e\u015fiyin\u0259, i\u015f yerin\u0259 qay\u0131td\u0131qca minn\u0259tdarl\u0131q m\u0259ktublar\u0131 g\u0259lirdi. Ba\u015f\u0131 b\u0259lal\u0131 xalq\u0131n quzeyin\u0259 g\u00fcn d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr, g\u00fcneyi h\u0259sr\u0259td\u0259n \u0259riyirdi. Araz yen\u0259 q\u0259mli-q\u0259mli ax\u0131b gedir, ba\u015f\u0131 a\u011f \u00e7almal\u0131 Savalan g\u00fcn\u0259\u015f g\u00fczg\u00fcs\u00fcnd\u0259 cilv\u0259l\u0259nib o tayl\u0131, bu tayl\u0131 yurdun a\u00e7\u0131 taleyind\u0259n, d\u0259rdl\u0259rind\u0259n dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Urmu g\u00f6l\u00fc bo\u011fulur, su deyib dad \u00e7\u0259kirdi. Bala\u011fa m\u0259h\u015furla\u015fd\u0131qca \u0259ll\u0259rinin s\u0259xav\u0259tini y\u00fcks\u0259ltmi\u015f, m\u0259vacibl\u0259ri art\u0131rm\u0131\u015f, h\u0259tta bayramlarda m\u00fckafat verm\u0259yi d\u0259 unutmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ax\u015fam\u0131n qaranl\u0131\u011f\u0131\u00a0 d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. V\u00fcqar G\u00f6y\u0259z\u0259nli \u015fam yem\u0259yind\u0259n sonra siqaret \u00e7\u0259km\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn eyvana \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130\u00e7ind\u0259ki narahatl\u0131q onu \u0259zir, \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 sakitlik, aram tapa bilmirdi. Evind\u0259 h\u0259r \u015fey yava\u015f-yava\u015f qaydas\u0131na d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc. Daha h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131 G\u00fcl\u0259r \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 gileyli-gileyli bax\u0131b, n\u0259 edim, nec\u0259 edim demirdi. V\u00fcqar ulduzlu gec\u0259nin qaranl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda duy\u011fular\u0131, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259ri il\u0259 t\u0259k-t\u0259nha qalma\u011f\u0131 xo\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131. \u0130kiotaql\u0131 evi el\u0259 yerd\u0259 idi ki, bir t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259 qara, qorxunc k\u00f6lg\u0259l\u0259r kimi uzan\u0131b ged\u0259n da\u011flar, o biri t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259, uzaqda g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f\u00fc ay i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sol\u011fun-sol\u011fun \u0259ks etdir\u0259n d\u0259niz onun x\u0259yallar\u0131nda q\u0259rib\u0259 bir al\u0259m yarad\u0131rd\u0131. Min ill\u0259rdi bel\u0259c\u0259 d\u00fcnya \u00f6z i\u015find\u0259ydi. Ulduzlar\u0131 sayr\u0131\u015f\u0131r, irmaqlar\u0131 \u00e7a\u011flay\u0131r, \u00e7aylar\u0131 ax\u0131r, d\u0259nizl\u0259ri \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131n\u0131b sahill\u0259ri d\u00f6y\u0259cl\u0259yir, qos-qoca da\u011flar\u0131 bir-birin\u0259 s\u00f6yk\u0259nib \u00f6z yerind\u0259 dayan\u0131rd\u0131. Ancaq insan sanki bir i\u00e7imlik su \u00f6mr\u00fc q\u0259d\u0259r ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131. \u015eam kimi yan\u0131b, \u015fam kimi d\u0259 s\u00f6n\u00fcrd\u00fc. Amma d\u00fcnyaya \u00f6z a\u011fl\u0131, z\u0259kas\u0131, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259siyl\u0259 bir nax\u0131\u015f vurub gedirdi. D\u00fcnya, \u0259slind\u0259, el\u0259 insanlar\u0131n d\u00fcnyas\u0131 deyildimi?! \u0130nsans\u0131z bu d\u00fcnya g\u00f6r\u0259n nec\u0259 olard\u0131?! Yetim, boynub\u00fck\u00fck b\u0259n\u00f6v\u015f\u0259 kimi g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259zdimi?! V\u00fcqar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcr\u0259n o idi ki, insan q\u0131sa \u00f6mr\u00fcnd\u0259 niy\u0259 l\u0259k\u0259li\u00a0 bir tale ya\u015fay\u0131r? Ax\u0131 \u00f6z azadl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sona q\u0259d\u0259r qoruya bilm\u0259zmi? \u0130ndi olanlar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fckc\u0259, g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fc ki, yox! Azadl\u0131q bir qar\u0131n \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k deyildi ki, onu tap\u0131b yey\u0259s\u0259n. G\u0259r\u0259k c\u0259miyy\u0259t \u00f6z\u00fc azad olsun!..<\/p>\n

-Qona\u011f\u0131n g\u0259lib, ata!-dey\u0259, V\u00fcqar\u0131n b\u00f6y\u00fck o\u011flu Q\u00fcdr\u0259t eyvana a\u00e7\u0131lan qap\u0131dan onu \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

V\u00fcqar ota\u011fa ke\u00e7\u0259nd\u0259 h\u0259y\u0259candan, t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbd\u0259n g\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 inanmad\u0131. D\u0259hliz\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131lan qap\u0131 a\u011fz\u0131nda Bala\u011fa v\u0259 s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcs\u00fc dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. S\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fcn bir \u0259lind\u0259 yek\u0259 tort ba\u011flamas\u0131 v\u0259 o biri \u0259lind\u0259 is\u0259 r\u0259ngb\u0259r\u0259ng bahal\u0131 konfetl\u0259rl\u0259 dolu torba var idi. Evd\u0259 sanki ham\u0131 donub qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. N\u0259 etm\u0259k laz\u0131m oldu\u011funu da ham\u0131 unutmu\u015fdu.<\/p>\n

-N\u0259dir, qonaq q\u0259bul etm\u0259k ist\u0259mirsiniz?-dey\u0259 Bala\u011fa xo\u015f, il\u0131q bir t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcml\u0259 dedi.<\/p>\n

– Yox, yox!.. N\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z!-dey\u0259 V\u00fcqar\u0131n q\u0131r\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131.<\/p>\n

– T\u0259ki siz g\u0259l\u0259siniz, ay Bala\u011fa qarda\u015f! N\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z, el\u0259 \u015feymi olar. Bel\u0259 xo\u015f g\u0259lib, s\u0259fa g\u0259tirmisiniz. Qap\u0131m\u0131z h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcz\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131qd\u0131r. \u2013 G\u00fcl\u0259rin s\u00f6zl\u0259ri daha \u015firin s\u0259sl\u0259ndi. Sanki ota\u011f\u0131n auras\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fdi, i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, do\u011fmal\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 art\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

-Ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n, \u00e7ox otura bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259yik! G\u0259ldik ki, \u015fairi xo\u015f g\u00fcn\u00fc m\u00fcnasib\u0259tiyl\u0259 biz d\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259kd\u0259n t\u0259brik ed\u0259k. Ax\u0131 bu g\u00fcn onun ad g\u00fcn\u00fcd\u00fcr!..<\/p>\n

-D\u00fczd\u00fcr, bu g\u00fcn m\u0259nim do\u011fum g\u00fcn\u00fcmd\u00fcr, Bala\u011fa m\u00fc\u0259llim!.. -V\u00fcqar a\u011f\u0131r-a\u011f\u0131r dedi. Bala\u011fan\u0131n \u0259lini s\u0131x\u0131b: – Sa\u011f olun ki, say\u0131b g\u0259lmisiniz! -t\u0259\u015f\u0259kk\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fc bildirdi: – Ancaq bu g\u00fcn \u015eu\u015fan\u0131n i\u015f\u011fal olundu\u011fu g\u00fcnd\u00fcr. D\u00fcz on ildir ki, ad g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fc ke\u00e7irmirik. Bir d\u0259 in\u015fallah, Allah \u00f6m\u00fcr vers\u0259 \u015eu\u015fan\u0131 azad ets\u0259k, bax, el\u0259 orada- \u201c\u0130sa bula\u011f\u0131\u201dn\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda ke\u00e7ir\u0259c\u0259yim\u0259 s\u00f6z verir\u0259m.<\/p>\n

– Q\u0259m yem\u0259, qarda\u015f, \u015eu\u015fan\u0131 da alaca\u011f\u0131q! \u2013 Bala\u011fa \u0259minlikl\u0259 dedi. \u2013 Atalar yax\u015f\u0131 deyib… Quduran\u0131n \u00f6mr\u00fc q\u0131rx g\u00fcn olar. D\u00fc\u015fm\u0259n n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r haval\u0131 g\u0259zs\u0259 d\u0259, ilahi bir \u0259dal\u0259t var, he\u00e7 vaxt nahaq qan yerd\u0259 qalmaz. \u0130nan m\u0259n\u0259, m\u00fctl\u0259q, m\u00fctl\u0259q qay\u0131daca\u011f\u0131q o yerl\u0259r\u0259!..<\/p>\n

G\u00fcl\u0259r tez-t\u0259l\u0259sik s\u00fcfr\u0259 a\u00e7d\u0131. Bala\u011fa oturmaq ist\u0259m\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259, xahi\u015f etdil\u0259r, \u201cHe\u00e7 olmasa, bir st\u0259kan \u00e7ay\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 i\u00e7! \u201d -dedil\u0259r. G\u00fcl\u0259r iyi gend\u0259n adam\u0131 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131ran k\u0259klikotulu \u00e7ay g\u0259tirdi.<\/p>\n

-Bu \u0259tirli, k\u0259klikotulu \u00e7ay h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 anam\u0131 xat\u0131rlad\u0131r. – Bala\u011fa bir az k\u00f6vr\u0259ldi. \u2013 O da bel\u0259c\u0259 \u00e7ay d\u0259ml\u0259rdi. S\u00fcfr\u0259niz \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259kli, bol \u0259tirli olsun!<\/p>\n

Bala\u011fa ani olaraq otaqlara g\u00f6z g\u0259zdirib: – G\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m, ev \u015f\u0259raitiniz o q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 deyil, dar\u0131sqall\u0131qd\u0131r. Be\u015f n\u0259f\u0259rlik bir ail\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn otaqlar \u00e7ox ki\u00e7ikdir. Bel\u0259 tan\u0131nm\u0131\u015f, istedadl\u0131 \u015fair \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn he\u00e7 yara\u015fmaz. Ax\u0131 o xalq\u0131m\u0131z \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, bizim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yaz\u0131b-yarad\u0131r.. M\u0259nn\u0259n Siz\u0259 be\u015f otaql\u0131 bir ev h\u0259diyy\u0259. \u00a0Sabah s\u0259n\u0259dl\u0259\u015fdirib, el\u0259 bu h\u0259ft\u0259d\u0259n d\u0259 k\u00f6\u00e7\u0259 bil\u0259rsiniz. Tam t\u0259mirlidir. \u00c7\u0259tinliyiniz olsa, da\u015f\u0131ma\u011fa f\u0259hl\u0259, ma\u015f\u0131n da g\u00f6nd\u0259r\u0259rik. H\u0259\u0259… bu q\u0259hr\u0259mana da…<\/p>\n

V\u00fcqar onun s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc k\u0259sib: – Ad\u0131 Q\u0259hr\u0259man deyil, Q\u00fcdr\u0259tdir. -dedi.<\/p>\n

-Eybi yox, qoy Q\u00fcdr\u0259t olsun. M\u0259nim ki\u00e7ik o\u011flum da el\u0259 bu ya\u015fdad\u0131r, ad\u0131 da Q\u0259hr\u0259mand\u0131r. H\u0259r ikisi adlar\u0131 il\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcs\u00fcn. Bax, bu ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131n a\u00e7ar\u0131d\u0131r. T\u0259z\u0259dir, lap ya\u011f i\u00e7ind\u0259. \u201cQAZ-31\u201d – dir. R\u0259ngi d\u0259 a\u011fappaq. T\u0259z\u0259 eviniz\u0259 onunla a\u011f duvaql\u0131 g\u0259lin d\u0259 g\u0259tir\u0259s\u0259n! Sabah bu s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcm Nurbala il\u0259 gedib ad\u0131na s\u0259n\u0259dl\u0259\u015fdir\u0259rsiniz. Y\u0259qin i\u015fsizdir Q\u00fcdr\u0259t. \u015eair, ist\u0259s\u0259niz o\u011flunuzu s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fcz kimi d\u0259 i\u015f\u0259 g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259 bil\u0259rsiniz. Y\u00fcks\u0259k m\u0259vacibini d\u0259 m\u0259n Siz\u0259 s\u00f6z verir\u0259m. S\u00fcfr\u0259niz h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 bollu\u011fa, \u015fadl\u0131\u011fa a\u00e7\u0131ls\u0131n. \u0130ndi m\u0259n\u0259 icaz\u0259 verin gedim, bir t\u0259dbirimiz var, ora da d\u0259ym\u0259liy\u0259m!..<\/p>\n

Bala\u011fan\u0131n s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcs\u00fcyl\u0259 q\u0259fil g\u0259ldiyi kimi, bel\u0259 tez getm\u0259\u015fi d\u0259, q\u0259rib\u0259 bir ovqat yaratd\u0131 ham\u0131da. H\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 inana bilmirdil\u0259r ki, bu g\u0259li\u015f real idi, yoxsa \u015firin bir yuxu. G\u00fcl\u0259r sevincd\u0259n a\u011flay\u0131r, Q\u00fcdr\u0259t \u0259lind\u0259ki \u201cQAZ-31\u201d-in a\u00e7ar\u0131n\u0131 ovcunda b\u0259rk-b\u0259rk s\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131 ki, bird\u0259n r\u00f6ya, yalan, yuxu ola bil\u0259r. Konfet torbas\u0131n\u0131 qurdalayan \u00a0V\u00fcqar\u0131n ki\u00e7ik o\u011flu\u00a0 Eldar bird\u0259n paket g\u00f6rd\u00fc. A\u00e7\u0131b i\u00e7in\u0259 baxd\u0131, Amerikan\u0131n g\u00f6y y\u00fczl\u00fck \u0259skinaslar\u0131 il\u0259 dolu idi. \u201c Baa… bu n\u0259dir, ay V\u00fcqar?!\u201d \u2013 G\u00fcl\u0259rin \u0259li a\u011fz\u0131nda qald\u0131. Ar\u0131q, uzun barmaqlar\u0131 titr\u0259y\u0259-titr\u0259y\u0259 sanama\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131: \u201c Bir, be\u015f, on, iyirmi, otuz…\u201d-daha sanaya bilm\u0259di, g\u00f6zl\u0259ri k\u0259ll\u0259sin\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. \u0130ndiy\u0259 kimi bu q\u0259d\u0259r pul g\u00f6rm\u0259diyind\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc itirdi. H\u0259y\u0259candan : \u201c Ay u\u015faq, ay bala… m\u0259n\u0259 bir st\u0259kan su!..\u201d-deyib stula \u00e7\u00f6kd\u00fc. B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131n n\u0259 dem\u0259k oldu\u011funu he\u00e7 k\u0259s bilmirdi. T\u0259kc\u0259 V\u00fcqardan ba\u015fqa. V\u00fcqar G\u00f6y\u0259z\u0259nli yax\u015f\u0131 bilirdi. \u00dcr\u0259yind\u0259: \u201cHmm…\u201d \u2013 el\u0259yib barma\u011f\u0131n\u0131 di\u015fl\u0259di: \u201c Dey\u0259s\u0259n… roman e\u015fqin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb!\u201d-dedi. Sin\u0259si yan\u0131rd\u0131, siqaret al\u0131\u015fd\u0131rmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn\u00a0 eyvana \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Hirsind\u0259n b\u0259rk-b\u0259rk s\u00fcm\u00fcr\u00fcb t\u00fcst\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc ciy\u0259rl\u0259rin\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kdi. \u201cM\u0259n n\u0259 el\u0259yim, ay Allah! Getdikc\u0259 kirl\u0259nir, \u00f6z\u00fcm-\u00f6z g\u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u0259m. N\u0259 el\u0259yim, bunlar\u0131 dalam\u0131 qaytar\u0131m, \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259mi t\u00fcp\u00fcr\u00fcm, yoxsa, ail\u0259min sevincini \u0259lind\u0259n al\u0131b, onlara \u00fcsyanm\u0131 qald\u0131r\u0131m?! Ya, h\u0259\u0259… \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc d\u00f6rd\u00fcnc\u00fc m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259d\u0259nmi at\u0131m? Yox, q\u0259sd… , he\u00e7 d\u0259 ki\u015filikd\u0259n deyil ax\u0131?! Balalar\u0131m\u0131 bir \u00f6m\u00fcr b\u00f6y\u00fc a\u011fr\u0131, \u0259zab i\u00e7ind\u0259 qoyummu?! M\u0259nim yand\u0131\u011f\u0131m b\u0259s deyil, h\u0259l\u0259 onlar\u0131 da\u00a0 odun i\u00e7in\u0259 at\u0131m?! \u201d – dey\u0259, V\u00fcqar i\u00e7\u0259rid\u0259 al\u0131\u015f\u0131r, \u00fcr\u0259yil\u0259 bacara bilmirdi. Neyl\u0259sin, sirr bir \u00fcr\u0259kd\u0259 qalanda \u00fcr\u0259yi yeyib, da\u011f\u0131d\u0131rd\u0131. Onu biri il\u0259 b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259 c\u0259sar\u0259ti \u00e7atm\u0131rd\u0131. Bilirdi ki, sirri b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k onun t\u0259s\u0259lli pay\u0131n\u0131 art\u0131rar, \u00fcr\u0259yin\u0259 bir q\u0259d\u0259r rahatl\u0131q g\u0259tir\u0259rdi. Ancaq bel\u0259 m\u0259qamda sirri b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k, geriy\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kilm\u0259k , b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 a\u011f\u0131ls\u0131zl\u0131q kimi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259rdi…<\/p>\n

D\u0259niz k\u0259nar\u0131ndak\u0131 na\u011f\u0131llar al\u0259mini xat\u0131rladan restoranda t\u0259qdimat ke\u00e7irilirdi. Giri\u015f qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131nda Bala\u011fan\u0131n g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259r \u00e7\u00f6hr\u0259li b\u00f6y\u00fck portreti, portretin sa\u011f\u0131nda v\u0259 solunda i\u00e7\u0259risi r\u0259ngb\u0259r\u0259ng g\u00fcll\u0259rl\u0259 dolu g\u00fcldanlar qoyulmu\u015fdu. Bir az k\u0259narda \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 \u201cZ\u0259man\u0259mizin b\u00f6y\u00fck yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 v\u0259 ictimai xadimi Bala\u011fan\u0131n t\u0259dbirin\u0259 xo\u015f g\u0259lmisiniz!\u201d l\u00f6vh\u0259si as\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. L\u00f6vh\u0259nin arxas\u0131nda ki\u00e7ik lampalar tez-tez yan\u0131b-s\u00f6nd\u00fcy\u00fcnd\u0259n yaz\u0131 da diqq\u0259ti \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 c\u0259lb edirdi. \u201cZ\u0259man\u0259mizin b\u00f6y\u00fck yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131\u201d s\u00f6zl\u0259rini oxuyan \u015fair V\u00fcqar b\u0259rk \u0259s\u0259bil\u0259\u015fdi. Dodaqlar\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131nda \u201cB\u00f6y\u00fck yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131ya bax haa!..\u201d \u2013 deyib, t\u00fcp\u00fcrd\u00fc. Sonra yen\u0259 :\u201d Niy\u0259 da\u011f\u0131lm\u0131rsan, ay d\u00fcnya?! \u201c- s\u00f6yl\u0259yib \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc, etibars\u0131z d\u00fcnyan\u0131 q\u0131naya-q\u0131naya onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ayr\u0131lm\u0131\u015f stola t\u0259r\u0259f getdi. \u201cM\u0259ram\u201d\u00e7\u0131lar\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131 oturmu\u015fdu. Ham\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259 i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 bir t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm cilv\u0259l\u0259irdi. Onun yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259n \u201cM\u0259qam\u201d\u00e7\u0131lar yer-yerd\u0259n astaca \u0259l \u00e7almaqla salamlad\u0131lar. Bu g\u00fcn onlar h\u0259m d\u0259 sevinirdi ki, Bala\u011fa m\u00fckafat yazm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. T\u0259dbiri, maraql\u0131s\u0131 oras\u0131nda idi ki, \u201cM\u0131z\u00a0 Q\u0259mb\u0259r\u201d apar\u0131rd\u0131. \u0130lahi, insan\u0131n ne\u00e7\u0259 sif\u0259ti olar?! O q\u0259d\u0259r ya\u011fl\u0131, t\u0259rifli s\u00f6zl\u0259r i\u015fl\u0259dirdi ki, vallah adam\u0131n pax\u0131ll\u0131\u011f\u0131 tuturdu. \u0130nan\u0131n, bu s\u00f6zl\u0259ri d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fmi\u015f klassikl\u0259rimiz\u0259 des\u0259ydil\u0259r, o yaz\u0131qlar e\u015fits\u0259ydil\u0259r, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 dirilib g\u0259l\u0259rdil\u0259r. \u0130\u00e7\u0259rid\u0259 7-8 n\u0259f\u0259r \u201clal, kar v\u0259 kor d\u00fcym\u0259basanlar\u201d, T\u00fcrkiy\u0259d\u0259n, Q\u0131r\u011f\u0131z\u0131standan, Qazax\u0131standan, Torontodan, h\u0259tta C\u0259nubi Afrikadan, Tasmaniyadan Bala\u011fan\u0131n yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131 dostlar\u0131, T\u00fcrkiy\u0259d\u0259n m\u00fc\u011f\u0259nnil\u0259r, Pensilvaniyadan, Rusiyadan rokk qruplar\u0131 g\u0259lib oturmu\u015fdular. Stollar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fc a\u015f\u0131b-da\u015f\u0131r, xidm\u0259t\u00e7il\u0259r \u0259ld\u0259-ayaqda dola\u015f\u0131r, xidm\u0259td\u0259n ham\u0131n\u0131n raz\u0131 qalmas\u0131na \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131lar. T\u0259dbirin s\u0259b\u0259bkar\u0131 yuxar\u0131 ba\u015fda, g\u00fcll\u0259rin, \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259rin \u0259hat\u0259sind\u0259, taxtda oturmu\u015fdu. Qaba\u011f\u0131ndak\u0131 stollar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 ikinci Osmanl\u0131 sultan\u0131 \u0130ld\u0131r\u0131m B\u0259yazid\u0259 h\u0259sr edilmi\u015f qal\u0131n \u201cFateh\u201d roman\u0131n\u0131n n\u00fcsx\u0259l\u0259ri d\u00fcz\u00fclm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. G\u0259l\u0259nl\u0259r bir-bir dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r, kitab\u0131 oxuyanlar, oxumayanlar da t\u0259rifi sanki su yerin\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259dirdil\u0259r. \u018fd\u0259biyyat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n ba\u015fbil\u0259ni dili dola\u015fa-dola\u015fa lap g\u00fcl vurur, az qal\u0131rd\u0131 ki, Bala\u011fan\u0131 \u0259d\u0259biyyat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n Koro\u011flusu yerin\u0259 qoya. Onun yarad\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n z\u0259nginliyini, geni\u015f mas\u015ftabda tan\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, orta m\u0259kt\u0259b d\u0259rsliyind\u0259 yer ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, g\u0259nc t\u0259dqiqat\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n\u00a0 \u201cBala\u011fa yarad\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131nda v\u0259t\u0259np\u0259rv\u0259rlik motivl\u0259ri\u201d m\u00f6vzusunda f\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259 doktorlu\u011fu dissertasiyas\u0131 \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259diyini sevincl\u0259, f\u0259r\u0259hl\u0259 bildirirdi. Sonda Bala\u011fan\u0131 \u0259d\u0259biyyat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n b\u00f6y\u00fck akulas\u0131na, balinas\u0131na b\u0259nz\u0259dib n\u0259h\u0259ng okeanlarda ilhamla, y\u00fcks\u0259k s\u0259n\u0259tkarl\u0131qla azman \u0259s\u0259rl\u0259r yaradaca\u011f\u0131na \u0259minliyini bildirirdi.<\/p>\n

\u015eair V\u00fcqar G\u00f6y\u0259z\u0259nli sanki oturdu\u011fu yerd\u0259 bo\u011fulur, n\u0259f\u0259si \u00e7at\u0131\u015fm\u0131rd\u0131.\u00a0 \u201c\u0130lahi, n\u0259 z\u0259man\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259lib \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131q, bu n\u0259 g\u00fcnd\u00fcr biz ya\u015fay\u0131r\u0131q!\u201d – deyib yerind\u0259 \u0259s\u0259bi-\u0259s\u0259bi qurcaland\u0131. Q\u0259z\u0259bli-q\u0259z\u0259bli yerind\u0259n qalx\u0131b ham\u0131n\u0131n, ham\u0131n\u0131n e\u015fid\u0259 bil\u0259c\u0259yi t\u0259rzd\u0259 ba\u011f\u0131ra-ba\u011f\u0131ra dem\u0259k ist\u0259di: \u201c Ay insanlar, niy\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r, niy\u0259, niy\u0259 m\u0259ni g\u00f6rm\u00fcrs\u00fcn\u00fcz?! Ax\u0131 t\u0259rif dedikl\u0259rinizi m\u0259n yazm\u0131\u015fam! B\u0259s han\u0131 sizin \u0259dal\u0259tiniz, han\u0131 qanununuz?! Budurmu, budurmu Sizin insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z? Siz n\u0259 vaxta q\u0259d\u0259r a\u011fa -qara, qaraya a\u011f dey\u0259c\u0259k, pullular\u0131n, har\u0131nlar\u0131n \u0259lind\u0259 oyunca\u011fa d\u00f6n\u0259n insanlar\u0131n ac\u0131 taleyil\u0259 oynayacaqs\u0131n\u0131z? N\u0259 vaxta q\u0259d\u0259r ki, birinin haqq\u0131n\u0131 yeyib, birini layiq olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259y\u0259 qald\u0131racaqs\u0131n\u0131z onda d\u00fcnya da od tutub yanacaq! \u0130nsanl\u0131q \u00f6l\u0259c\u0259k! H\u0259r g\u00fcn \u0259dal\u0259tsizliy\u0259 b\u00fcr\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f faci\u0259l\u0259rimiz qap\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 d\u00f6y\u0259c\u0259k, h\u0259r \u015feyd\u0259n uzaq d\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259yik. Qay\u0131da bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259yik, qay\u0131tma\u011f\u0131 arzu etdiyimiz yer\u0259! O yer ki, bizim \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fck, \u0259cdadlar\u0131m\u0131z, ulular\u0131m\u0131z, \u0259r\u0259nl\u0259rimiz, yurdumuz, dinc ya\u015fay\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131z, xo\u015fb\u0259xt taleyimiz, i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 sabah\u0131m\u0131zd\u0131r!..<\/p>\n

Ancaq n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r etdis\u0259, V\u00fcqar\u0131n s\u0259si \u00e7\u0131xmad\u0131. \u00c7\u00fcnki \u00e7oxlar\u0131 kimi onun da vicdan\u0131 bo\u011fulmu\u015fdu. Ax\u0131 vicdan\u0131 satanlar, ona x\u0259yan\u0259t ed\u0259nl\u0259r el\u0259 sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u00f6l\u00fc kimi bir \u015feydirl\u0259r. Vicdan insan\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131, ba\u015f ucal\u0131\u011f\u0131, Tanr\u0131n\u0131n verdiyi \u0259n ali m\u00fckafat, h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131n m\u0259nas\u0131, l\u0259yaq\u0259tinin, q\u00fcrurunun \u0259n uca, \u0259l\u00e7atmaz zirv\u0259sidir.<\/p>\n

Bak\u0131 \u015f\u0259h\u0259ri, 15 iyun \u2013 19 iyul \u00a02024-c\u00fc il.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yaz\u0131ya 149 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hekay\u0259 B\u0259dii \u0259s\u0259r \u0130lahid\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259n hissin, duy\u011funun t\u0259r\u0259nn\u00fcm\u00fcd\u00fcr. Onu almaq, ya satmaq yer \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn \u0259n \u015f\u0259r\u0259fsiz h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tidir. Bu, ilahi hiss\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t v\u0259 ba\u011f\u0131\u015flanmaz cinay\u0259tdir. Onun h\u0259yatda b\u0259xti yaman g\u0259tirmi\u015fdi. N\u0259yi arzulam\u0131\u015fd\u0131, o da y\u00fcy\u00fcr\u0259k aya\u011f\u0131na g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. H\u0259r \u015feyi var idi: evi-e\u015fiyi, var\u0131-d\u00f6vl\u0259ti, ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131, v\u0259zif\u0259si, mill\u0259t v\u0259killiyi, bir s\u00f6zl\u0259, h\u0259r \u015feyi. Ma\u011fazalar\u0131 g\u00f6z \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131r, reklamlar\u0131, par\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16,3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20039"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=20039"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20039\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20244,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20039\/revisions\/20244"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=20039"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=20039"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=20039"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}