{"id":6762,"date":"2014-08-27T12:35:19","date_gmt":"2014-08-27T07:35:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=6762"},"modified":"2014-08-27T12:35:19","modified_gmt":"2014-08-27T07:35:19","slug":"m%c9%99nsur-r%c9%99gb%c9%99toglu-ayib-olsun-m%c9%99n%c9%99","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=6762","title":{"rendered":"M\u0259nsur R\u0259\u011fb\u0259to\u011flu – Ay\u0131b olsun m\u0259n\u0259!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"mansur\"<\/a>\u0130nsan h\u0259yat\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn kiray\u0259 ev q\u0259d\u0259r ikinci t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259 \u0130\u015e\u0130D-dir. Birincisi kiray\u0259 evdir. \u018fl\u0259lx\u00fcsus da ki, pulun yoxdusa, tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131n adamlarla kiray\u0259l\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 m\u0259cbur oldu\u011fun ki\u00e7ik, havas\u0131z v\u0259 t\u0259mirsiz bir otaq. Dar cibin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, tutdu\u011fun otaq \u015f\u0259h\u0259rdaxili avtobuslara ox\u015fay\u0131r. B\u00fct\u00fcn maddi imkanlar\u0131n m\u0259hdudla\u015fd\u0131qca, uzun ill\u0259r s\u0131x\u0131l\u0131b i\u00e7ind\u0259 qal\u0131rsan. G\u0259l\u0259n gedir, s\u0259ns\u0259 avtobus s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcs\u00fc kimi oran\u0131 t\u0259rk ed\u0259 bilmirs\u0259n. B\u00fct\u00fcn ev sahibl\u0259rin\u0259 nifr\u0259t edir\u0259m. Ev sahibl\u0259ri ota\u011fa g\u0259l\u0259nin kimliyini m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n etm\u0259d\u0259n g\u0259tirib soxur yan\u0131na. Bilmirs\u0259n adam terror\u00e7udur, kamikadzedir, satanistdir, m\u00fcs\u0259lmand\u0131r, y\u0259hudidir, xristiand\u0131r, B\u0259\u015f\u0259r \u018fs\u0259din adam\u0131d\u0131r, yoxsa dost. Son 8 ild\u0259 o rayon, o k\u0259nd olmas\u0131n ki, oralar\u0131n sakinl\u0259ri m\u0259niml\u0259 eyni ota\u011f\u0131 b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015fm\u0259sinl\u0259r. N\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259 bilirs\u0259n, n\u0259 yaza, n\u0259 yediyind\u0259n l\u0259zz\u0259t al\u0131rsan, n\u0259 ya\u015famaq ist\u0259yirs\u0259n. H\u0259m onlardan z\u0259hl\u0259n gedir, h\u0259m \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n diksinirs\u0259n, h\u0259m d\u0259 ev sahibini bo\u011fazlay\u0131b c\u0259h\u0259nn\u0259m\u0259 vasil etm\u0259k ist\u0259yirs\u0259n. H\u0259m onlara, h\u0259m d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 yaz\u0131\u011f\u0131m g\u0259lir. Ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u0259m ki, imkans\u0131zl\u0131qlar\u0131 ucbat\u0131ndan m\u0259nim kimi vasvas\u0131 biril\u0259 eyni ota\u011f\u0131 b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, onlar\u0131n da m\u0259nd\u0259n z\u0259hl\u0259l\u0259ri gedir. Zibil. H\u0259r \u015feyin bel\u0259 olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bils\u0259ydim, do\u011fulmazd\u0131m. Do\u011fulub ya do\u011fulmamaq insan\u0131n \u0259lind\u0259 deyil. He\u00e7 k\u0259sin se\u00e7m\u0259k \u015fans\u0131 yoxdur. Yaln\u0131z s\u0259nin d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259lm\u0259yini ba\u015fqalar\u0131 ist\u0259yir. Bu haqs\u0131zl\u0131qd\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Son bir ne\u00e7\u0259 ayda intihar haqq\u0131nda bu q\u0259d\u0259r d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259mi\u015fdim. \u00d6lm\u0259k ist\u0259kl\u0259rim art\u0131dqca h\u0259yata dair qorxular\u0131m da azal\u0131r. Art\u0131q yolda hans\u0131sa avtomobilin g\u00fcdaz\u0131na ged\u0259c\u0259yim m\u0259ni maraqland\u0131rm\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Susmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m. Lakin ay sonunda ev sahibi v\u0259 kredit borcumun oldu\u011fu banklar m\u0259ni dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131rma\u011fa m\u0259cburdur edirl\u0259r. M\u0259ni ya\u015fama\u011fa dir\u0259y\u0259n bir ne\u00e7\u0259 s\u0259b\u0259bim var. \u00d6z\u00fcmd\u0259n sonra onlar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u0259m. Onlar olmasayd\u0131 ke\u00e7m\u0259zdim yar\u0131m metr k\u0259ndird\u0259n. Sallayard\u0131m \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc tavandan ip\u0259 d\u00fcz\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f t\u00fct\u00fcn kimi.<\/p>\n

Bir g\u00fcn susark\u0259n donmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m, dan\u0131\u015fmamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn. V\u0259 bel\u0259c\u0259 \u00f6lm\u0259k.<\/p>\n

B\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn\u00fc bir sual\u0131 beynim\u0259 y\u00fck el\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m: \u201cM\u0259n neyn\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m?\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00d6z\u00fcm\u0259 nifr\u0259tim edir\u0259m. G\u00fcnd\u0259 s\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131m h\u0259r mm b\u00fct\u00fcn arzular\u0131m\u0131n \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259n x\u0259tt \u00e7\u0259kir. Onlara arzu da dem\u0259k olmaz, he\u00e7 vaxt b\u00f6y\u00fck arzular\u0131m olmay\u0131b. U\u015faq vaxt\u0131 h\u0259r\u0259 bir ist\u0259yinin arxas\u0131nca qa\u00e7anda m\u0259n \u0259limd\u0259 kitab \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck b\u0259db\u0259xt olma\u011f\u0131n x\u0259yallar\u0131n\u0131 qurard\u0131m. H\u0259yat\u0131n \u0259n yoxsulu, \u0259n s\u0259fal\u0259t i\u00e7\u0259risind\u0259 ya\u015fayan adam\u0131 olma\u011f\u0131 arzulam\u0131\u015fam. Bel\u0259 d\u0259 arzu olar? S\u0259feh!<\/p>\n

Yad\u0131mdad\u0131r 7-ci sinifd\u0259 oxuyanda \u201cBir q\u0131\u015f g\u00fcn\u00fc\u201d adl\u0131 ki\u00e7ik hekay\u0259 yazm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. \u018fd\u0259biyyat m\u00fc\u0259llimim Ceyran hekay\u0259d\u0259n xeyli t\u0259sirl\u0259nmi\u015fdi. Bu m\u0259ni sevindirmi\u015fdi. Q\u0259rar verdim, ya jurnalist olacaqd\u0131m, ya da yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131. V\u0259 m\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kd\u0259 \u00e7oxlu i\u00e7ib yazacaqd\u0131m. Beynim\u0259 bel\u0259 yerimi\u015fdi ki, b\u00fct\u00fcn yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131lar\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131 i\u00e7ir. S\u0259feh u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n s\u0259feh arzular\u0131 \u2013 bax budur. Z\u0259hrimar. \u0130ndi get ya\u015fa o darmada\u011f\u0131n h\u0259yat\u0131nda, ya\u015faya bilirs\u0259ns\u0259 \u0259g\u0259r. \u0130ndi n\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 jurnalist\u0259m, n\u0259 d\u0259 yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131 ola bilmi\u015f\u0259m. He\u00e7 biri deyil\u0259m. N\u0259 d\u0259 ist\u0259diyim q\u0259d\u0259r i\u00e7m\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn pulum var.<\/p>\n

G\u00fcnd\u0259 5 d\u0259f\u0259 borcland\u0131\u011f\u0131m d\u00fckan sahibinin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndan ke\u00e7dikc\u0259, t\u00fcp\u00fcr\u00fcr\u0259m o g\u00fcn\u0259. 30 q\u0259piklik \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259yi, 60 q\u0259piklik siqareti borca yazd\u0131rmaq d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tdir. D\u00fckan sahibinin eyn\u0259k alt\u0131ndan naraz\u0131 bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 i\u00e7\u0259risind\u0259 q\u0131z\u011f\u0131n tavaya at\u0131lm\u0131\u015f \u0259t kimi qovrulub birc\u0259 damc\u0131 qalmaq \u0259zabd\u0131r ax\u0131. L\u0259n\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259s\u0259n!<\/p>\n

\u0130ndi ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u0259m ki, \u201cBir q\u0131\u015f g\u00fcn\u00fc\u201d adl\u0131 s\u0259rs\u0259ml\u0259m\u0259m g\u0259tirdi m\u0259ni bura. Hekay\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259, romanlarda, filml\u0259rd\u0259 o d\u00fckan v\u0259 ev sahibl\u0259ri \u0259s\u0259rl\u0259rin ba\u015f q\u0259hr\u0259manlar\u0131n\u0131 borc \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn qovdu\u011funu izl\u0259dikc\u0259, bu q\u0259d\u0259r nifr\u0259t etmirs\u0259n. \u018fsl h\u0259yatda is\u0259 h\u0259min o q\u0259hr\u0259manlar\u0131n taleyini ya\u015famaq \u00e7ox a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131r. M\u0259n v\u0259 m\u0259nim kimil\u0259r n\u0259inki ki\u00e7ik bir \u015feirin ba\u015f q\u0259hr\u0259man\u0131, he\u00e7 verg\u00fcl\u00fc bel\u0259 deyilik. \u00dcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259 hesabda yoxuq.<\/p>\n

Bu a\u011fr\u0131 deyil, bu k\u0259d\u0259r deyil, bu h\u0259yat\u0131n dibi d\u0259 deyil. Bu bir y\u0131\u011f\u0131n zibil problemin i\u00e7\u0259risind\u0259 \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcm\u0259kdir.<\/p>\n

A\u011flam\u0131ram, n\u0259 d\u0259 \u015fikay\u0259t etmir\u0259m. He\u00e7 k\u0259s d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fcm bu v\u0259ziyy\u0259t\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 m\u0259suliyy\u0259t da\u015f\u0131m\u0131r. G\u00fcnah m\u0259nd\u0259dir. Ki, bu d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259lm\u0259m\u0259li idim. G\u0259lmi\u015fdims\u0259, a\u011fr\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 d\u0259rk etdiyim g\u00fcn d\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kib getm\u0259li idim. Bu kredit borcuna girib \u00fcz\u00fck almaqdan xeyli qabaq ba\u015f verm\u0259liydi. Ayaq a\u00e7\u0131b yerdiyim g\u00fcn\u0259 min l\u0259n\u0259t.<\/p>\n

Ayaqqab\u0131m\u0131n yanlar\u0131 s\u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fckc\u0259, \u015falvar\u0131m\u0131n dizl\u0259ri yeyildikc\u0259, sa\u00e7lar\u0131m gurla\u015fd\u0131qca qorxuram. Haradan tapacam bu probleml\u0259rin h\u0259llini? Evlilik g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fc d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fckc\u0259 is\u0259 \u0259n pis formada \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n iyr\u0259nir\u0259m. Neyn\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m? Bu g\u00fcn maddi s\u0131x\u0131nt\u0131lar ail\u0259 da\u011f\u0131lmalar\u0131n\u0131n k\u00f6k\u00fcnd\u0259 duran \u0259sas tezisdir. \u00c7ox g\u00fcman ki, bu c\u00fcr davam ets\u0259, h\u0259min tezis\u0259 istinad ed\u0259nl\u0259rd\u0259n biri d\u0259 m\u0259n olacam.<\/p>\n

Probleml\u0259r h\u0259r g\u00fcn bir az daha \u0259ydikc\u0259, \u0259n ki\u00e7ik ideyas\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bel\u0259 \u0259n s\u0259rt m\u00fcbariz\u0259d\u0259n \u00e7\u0259kinm\u0259y\u0259n v\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 ideal se\u00e7diyim \u00c7e Qevaradan utan\u0131ram. Ay\u0131b olsun, m\u0259n\u0259!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yaz\u0131ya 1186 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u0130nsan h\u0259yat\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn kiray\u0259 ev q\u0259d\u0259r ikinci t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259 \u0130\u015e\u0130D-dir. Birincisi kiray\u0259 evdir. \u018fl\u0259lx\u00fcsus da ki, pulun yoxdusa, tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131n adamlarla kiray\u0259l\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 m\u0259cbur oldu\u011fun ki\u00e7ik, havas\u0131z v\u0259 t\u0259mirsiz bir otaq. Dar cibin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, tutdu\u011fun otaq \u015f\u0259h\u0259rdaxili avtobuslara ox\u015fay\u0131r. B\u00fct\u00fcn maddi imkanlar\u0131n m\u0259hdudla\u015fd\u0131qca, uzun ill\u0259r s\u0131x\u0131l\u0131b i\u00e7ind\u0259 qal\u0131rsan. G\u0259l\u0259n gedir, s\u0259ns\u0259 avtobus s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcs\u00fc kimi oran\u0131 t\u0259rk ed\u0259 bilmirs\u0259n. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6763,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6762"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6762"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6762\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6764,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6762\/revisions\/6764"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6763"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6762"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6762"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6762"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}