{"id":7461,"date":"2014-12-21T20:46:04","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T16:46:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=7461"},"modified":"2014-12-21T20:50:10","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T16:50:10","slug":"v%c9%99fa-murs%c9%99lqizi-namus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=7461","title":{"rendered":"V\u0259fa M\u00fcrs\u0259lq\u0131z\u0131 — Namus (hekay\u0259)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"vefa<\/a>\u00a0G\u00f6zl\u0259rini a\u00e7ma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fsa da h\u00f6rra kimi g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 dolan s\u00fcbh yuxusundan can qurtara bilmirdi. Yuxu onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn s\u0131\u011f\u0131nacaq idi. G\u00fcnd\u0259lik d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tl\u0259rd\u0259n, ac\u0131lardan, qorxulardan gizl\u0259ndiyi s\u0131\u011f\u0131nacaq. \u0130\u00e7ind\u0259 tez- tez yat\u0131b ay\u0131lmamaq ist\u0259yi olurdu. Amma bu ist\u0259yin d\u0259rinliyind\u0259 \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc k\u00fcl ba\u011flam\u0131\u015f bir h\u0259yat e\u015fqi d\u0259 vard\u0131. D\u0259rin yuxu t\u0259b\u0259q\u0259sinin alt\u0131nda hiss etdi ki, bu h\u0259yat e\u015fqi bu s\u0259h\u0259r g\u00fccl\u0259nib. Yatmazdan \u00f6nc\u0259 xo\u015f x\u0259b\u0259r e\u015fitmi\u015f adamlar kimi i\u00e7ind\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 bir h\u0259y\u0259can vard\u0131. Yar\u0131yuxulu halda \u0259lini yatd\u0131\u011f\u0131 yer\u0259 s\u00fcrtd\u00fc, barmaqlar\u0131 d\u00f6\u015f\u0259ka\u011f\u0131n\u0131n s\u0259rin, t\u0259rav\u0259tli t\u0259mas\u0131n\u0131 hiss ed\u0259nd\u0259 diksindi. Ona el\u0259 g\u0259ldi ki, yuxu g\u00f6r\u00fcr. Ax\u0131 h\u0259r s\u0259h\u0259r torpa\u011f\u0131n, uzaq ba\u015f\u0131 k\u00f6hn\u0259, saman\u0131 \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015f mitil d\u00f6\u015f\u0259yin \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 oyanard\u0131. G\u00f6zl\u0259rini a\u00e7\u0131b \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn do\u011fma evl\u0259rind\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 i\u00e7in\u0259 sevinc doldu, amma bu sevinc kirli bir sevinc idi. Barmaqlar\u0131 b\u0259d\u0259nind\u0259ki doqquz il \u0259rzind\u0259 bir h\u0259ft\u0259d\u0259n b\u0259ri ilk d\u0259f\u0259 qaysaq ba\u011flam\u0131\u015f yaralara, \u00e7ap\u0131qlara toxundu. Bu yaralar\u0131n h\u0259r biri bir t\u0259cav\u00fcz\u00fcn, \u015fidd\u0259tin, \u0259ziyy\u0259tin, namussuzlu\u011fun izi idi. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 bal\u0131\u015f\u0131n alt\u0131na soxub h\u00f6nk\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u018fll\u0259ri il\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qamarlad\u0131 v\u0259 barmaqlar\u0131 iki h\u0259ft\u0259d\u0259n b\u0259ri xeyli uzanm\u0131\u015f sa\u00e7lar\u0131na toxundu. Sar\u0131\u015f\u0131n sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7oxdan idi g\u00f6rm\u00fcrd\u00fc, \u00e7\u00fcnki, orda h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 daz q\u0131rxard\u0131lar. \u0130lk d\u0259f\u0259 sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 q\u0131rxd\u0131qlar\u0131 g\u00fcn\u00fc xat\u0131rlad\u0131. Sar\u0131\u015f\u0131n sa\u00e7 q\u0131vr\u0131mlar\u0131 qana bula\u015fm\u0131\u015f torpa\u011fa t\u00f6k\u00fcld\u00fckc\u0259 sanki i\u00e7ini k\u0259rpic – k\u0259rpic s\u00f6k\u00fcrd\u00fcl\u0259. Kims\u0259 \u201cSar\u0131 g\u0259lin\u201d oxuyurdu i\u00e7ind\u0259. \u018fsirlikd\u0259n qay\u0131dan\u0131 bir h\u0259ft\u0259 idi art\u0131q, h\u0259r g\u00fcn a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131. \u0130\u00e7in\u0259 y\u0131\u011f\u0131lm\u0131\u015f g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 ancaq indi bo\u015falda bilirdi. T\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u00fc buras\u0131 idi ki, bu ne\u00e7\u0259 il\u0259 \u00e7ox nadir hallarda a\u011flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130lahi , insan\u0131n i\u00e7in\u0259 n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r g\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131 y\u0131\u011f\u0131larm\u0131\u015f? Sanki i\u00e7in\u0259 y\u0131\u011f\u0131lm\u0131\u015f b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131 bu bir ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcnd\u0259 a\u011flay\u0131b bo\u015fald\u0131rd\u0131. Onun \u0259sirlikd\u0259n qurtarmas\u0131 bir m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259 idi. \u201cQ\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 Aypara\u201d n\u00fcmay\u0259nd\u0259l\u0259ri onu t\u0259sad\u00fcf n\u0259tic\u0259sind\u0259 , erm\u0259ni Sadvikin donuzlar\u0131n\u0131 otarark\u0259n tapm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar . \u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259 bilm\u0259d\u0259n t\u0259mas x\u0259ttini ke\u00e7ibmi\u015f. \u0130ll\u0259r boyu azadl\u0131\u011f\u0131n bu q\u0259d\u0259r yax\u0131nda olmas\u0131n\u0131 anlamamas\u0131na t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb el\u0259mi\u015fdi onda. Onu x\u0259st\u0259xanaya, bir az babat olandan sonra is\u0259 s\u0259rh\u0259dd\u0259 g\u0259tirdil\u0259r. \u0130nana bilmirdi ki, xilas olur. \u0130lk d\u0259f\u0259 o g\u00fcn sevincind\u0259n m\u00f6hk\u0259m a\u011flad\u0131 v\u0259 h\u0259sr\u0259tl\u0259 do\u011fmalar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. Bir iki saatdan sonra ya\u015fl\u0131, yad bir qad\u0131n g\u0259ldi onu aparma\u011fa. Qad\u0131n jurnalistl\u0259rin suallar\u0131na \u00e7\u0259kin\u0259-\u00e7\u0259kin\u0259 cavab verir, kameralardan gizl\u0259nirdi. Doqquz ild\u0259 h\u0259ddind\u0259n art\u0131q qocalm\u0131\u015f anas\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm\u00fcnd\u0259n tan\u0131d\u0131. Ma\u011fm\u0131n, qorxaq, yaz\u0131q t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm\u00fcnd\u0259n. Anas\u0131n\u0131n niy\u0259 t\u0259k g\u0259lm\u0259si o saat beynind\u0259 \u00e7e\u015fidli d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259r oyatd\u0131. Qorxudan ayaqlar\u0131 \u0259sdi. Allah Iraq el\u0259sin yoxsa atas\u0131, qarda\u015flar\u0131 \u0259sir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb ya h\u0259lak olub? Anas\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc onun \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 atd\u0131. -Ay Allah \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr birliyin\u0259, ay Allah \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr varl\u0131\u011f\u0131na. Nazil\u0259, s\u0259ni sa\u011f g\u00f6rd\u00fcm bu d\u0259qiq\u0259, burdaca \u00f6ls\u0259m d\u0259 d\u0259rdim olmaz, bala! On be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131 vard\u0131 \u0259sir d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259, indi is\u0259 ya\u015f\u0131 iyirmi d\u00f6rd idi. O vaxtlar oxumaq ist\u0259yirdi, Bak\u0131ya getm\u0259k v\u0259 Bak\u0131da t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259lik h\u0259yat\u0131 ke\u00e7irm\u0259k sonra is\u0259 k\u0259nd\u0259 qay\u0131tmay\u0131b Bak\u0131da qalmaq. Bu arzu k\u0259ndin b\u00fct\u00fcn yeniyetm\u0259l\u0259rinin arzusu idi. Amma b\u00fcruz\u0259 verm\u0259y\u0259 ham\u0131n\u0131n c\u0259sar\u0259ti \u00e7atm\u0131rd\u0131. Ya\u015f\u0131dlar\u0131 tez-tez in\u015falarda \u015fablon c\u00fcml\u0259l\u0259r yaz\u0131rd\u0131lar. \u201cM\u0259n oxuyub h\u0259kim( v\u0259 ya m\u00fc\u0259llim) olmaq, do\u011fma k\u0259ndim\u0259 d\u00f6n\u00fcb burda xalq\u0131ma v\u0259 h\u0259mk\u0259ndlil\u0259rimiz\u0259 xidm\u0259t etm\u0259k ist\u0259yir\u0259m.” Bu in\u015falar\u0131 \u0259slind\u0259 u\u015faqlar\u0131n \u00e7oxusunun yerin\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck bac\u0131 v\u0259 ya qarda\u015flar\u0131 yaz\u0131rd\u0131. O is\u0259 Bak\u0131dan k\u0259nd\u0259 d\u00f6nm\u0259k ist\u0259mirdi. K\u0259ndin yap\u0131\u015fqanl\u0131 pal\u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131 ayaqlar\u0131na suva\u015fan k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259ri, mal t\u0259z\u0259yi qoxusu ver\u0259n s\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259ri, qeyb\u0259t\u00e7i arvadlar\u0131, arvadlardan geri qalmay\u0131b tind\u0259 , bucaqda onun bunun dal\u0131nca dan\u0131\u015fan ki\u015fil\u0259ri he\u00e7 xo\u015funa g\u0259lmirdi. D\u00fczd\u00fcr b\u00fct\u00fcn m\u0259nfilikl\u0259ri Allah qu\u015f c\u0259hc\u0259hin\u0259 , s\u00fcbh\u00fcn t\u0259miz havas\u0131na, gec\u0259l\u0259rin s\u0259rin v\u0259 ulduizlu s\u0259malar\u0131na v\u0259 azan s\u0259sin\u0259 b\u00fck\u00fcb bir az d\u00f6z\u00fcl\u0259 bil\u0259n etmi\u015fdi. Amma f\u0259rqi yox idi bu g\u00fcn\u0259\u015fin yand\u0131r\u0131b qovurdu\u011fu aran par\u00e7as\u0131 ona xo\u015f g\u0259lmirdi. B\u0259z\u0259n k\u0259ndl\u0259rin\u0259 \u015f\u0259h\u0259rli qad\u0131nlar q\u0131zlar qonaq g\u0259lirdi v\u0259 o saat yor\u011fun, yekn\u0259s\u0259k h\u0259yatdan bezmi\u015f, g\u00fcn altda qalmaqdan qaralm\u0131\u015f, miskin k\u0259nd camahat\u0131ndan se\u00e7il\u0259rdil\u0259r. O g\u00fcn\u00fcn ax\u015fam\u0131 k\u0259ndin ne\u00e7\u0259-ne\u00e7\u0259 q\u0131z\u0131, qad\u0131n\u0131 a\u011flaya-a\u011flaya yuxuya ged\u0259r v\u0259 yuxuda firavan h\u0259yat, g\u00f6z\u0259l-g\u00f6z\u0259l paltarlar, yara\u015f\u0131ql\u0131-yara\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 o\u011flanlar g\u00f6r\u0259rdil\u0259r. \u018fslind\u0259 Nazil\u0259 do\u011fuldu\u011fu k\u0259ndi sevirdi, bir ana \u015fik\u0259st \u00f6vlad\u0131n\u0131 sevdiyi kimi, bezgin-bezgin. Nazil\u0259 Bak\u0131ya ged\u0259 bilm\u0259di v\u0259 ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 he\u00e7 zaman bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi ki, Bak\u0131da ya\u015famaq daha \u00e7\u0259tindir. V\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi ki, Bak\u0131dak\u0131 q\u0131z g\u0259linl\u0259rin d\u0259 el\u0259 d\u0259rd \u2013s\u0259rl\u0259ri var ki, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 k\u0259ndd\u0259kil\u0259r bils\u0259l\u0259r \u00f6z g\u00fcnl\u0259rin\u0259 \u015f\u00fckr ed\u0259rdil\u0259r. Budur indi art\u0131q evl\u0259rind\u0259 idi. Amma bu d\u0259yi\u015filmi\u015f, ba\u015fqala\u015fm\u0131\u015f evin he\u00e7 yeri ona do\u011fma g\u0259lmirdi. Bu evd\u0259n h\u0259yat, yenilik qoxusu g\u0259lirdi. Bu evd\u0259 ona u\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, yeniyetm\u0259liyini xat\u0131rladan cox az \u015fey qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Dem\u0259k onun yoxlu\u011funda ev d\u0259 t\u0259mir etdiribl\u0259r, yeni \u0259\u015fyalar da al\u0131blar, bir s\u00f6zl\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131blar. O is\u0259 ya\u015famam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. H\u0259yat\u0131 h\u0259min o \u00e7ovgunlu yanvar s\u0259h\u0259ri dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u018fsir d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fc h\u0259min o g\u00fcn. \u0130ndi onu g\u0259tirib t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n bu h\u0259yata atm\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar v\u0259 o qald\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerd\u0259n davam etm\u0259li idi. Sad\u0259c\u0259 doqquz il sonra. \u0130tirdikl\u0259rind\u0259n birc\u0259 sar\u0131\u015f\u0131n, yum\u015faq sa\u00e7lar\u0131 g\u00f6z qaba\u011f\u0131nda idi v\u0259 bic\u0259 sar\u0131\u015f\u0131n, yum\u015faq sa\u00e7lar\u0131 t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n \u00f6z \u0259vv\u0259lki hal\u0131na qay\u0131da bil\u0259rdi. Evd\u0259kilrl\u0259 he\u00e7 c\u00fcr qaynay\u0131b qar\u0131\u015fa bilmirdi. O ged\u0259nd\u0259 yeddi ya\u015f\u0131 olan balaca qarda\u015f\u0131 S\u0259m\u0259d indi b\u0131\u011f yeri t\u0259rl\u0259mi\u015f on alt\u0131 ya\u015fl\u0131 n\u00f6vcavana \u00e7evrilmi\u015fdi. Atas\u0131n\u0131 v\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck qarda\u015f\u0131 H\u0259midi is\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259n birc\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 \u0259m\u0259lli ba\u015fl\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259 bilmi\u015fdi. Atas\u0131 g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131 i\u00e7ind\u0259 onu qucaqlasa da sanki yad, \u00f6zg\u0259 bir qad\u0131na toxunurmu\u015f kimi tezc\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fd\u0131rm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. O g\u00fcn, bu g\u00fcn n\u0259 atas\u0131 n\u0259 qarda\u015f\u0131 onunla bir s\u00fcfr\u0259y\u0259 \u0259yl\u0259\u015fmirdil\u0259r. Anas\u0131 deyirdi ki, ill\u0259r boyu \u00f6zl\u0259rini Nazil\u0259nin \u0259sir d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259sin\u0259 v\u0259 \u0259sirlikd\u0259n qurtara bilm\u0259m\u0259sin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 g\u00fcnahkar hesab edibl\u0259r. \u00dcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259 o g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259n ail\u0259 bir yerd\u0259 nahar etm\u0259k v\u0259rdi\u015find\u0259n \u0259l \u00e7\u0259kmi\u015fdi. Evd\u0259 el\u0259 bil ham\u0131 biri-biri il\u0259 k\u00fcs\u00fcl\u00fc idi. H\u0259rd\u0259n ona el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, ev adamlar\u0131 h\u0259tda onun g\u0259li\u015find\u0259n naraz\u0131d\u0131rlar. El\u0259 bil evl\u0259rinin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qat\u0131, a\u011f\u0131r bir k\u00f6lg\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. G\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 sonra \u0259sir qad\u0131nlara psixaoji d\u0259st\u0259k g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259n t\u0259\u015fkilatlardan birinin yard\u0131m\u0131 il\u0259 onu psixoterapevt\u0259 apard\u0131lar. Amma ora c\u0259mi birc\u0259 seans getdi. \u0130st\u0259m\u0259di, \u00e7\u00fcnki \u0259min idi ki, stolun arxas\u0131nda g\u00fcya onu dinl\u0259m\u0259k v\u0259 anlamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn oturmu\u015f bu qad\u0131n onun hal\u0131ndan x\u0259b\u0259rdar ola bilm\u0259z. Bu d\u0131rnaqlar\u0131 v\u0259 dodaqlar\u0131 q\u0131pq\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 r\u0259ngl\u0259nmi\u015f , sa\u00e7lar\u0131 s\u0259liq\u0259 il\u0259 daranm\u0131\u015f, tez-tez telefonun ekran\u0131na baxan xan\u0131m – xat\u0131n qad\u0131n onu ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u0259 bilm\u0259z. Bu qad\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda h\u0259r gec\u0259 bir \u0259sir o\u011flan\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131 k\u0259silm\u0259mi\u015fdi, anan\u0131n qarn\u0131ndan k\u00f6rp\u0259si \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131lmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bu qad\u0131n yerd\u0259n qana bula\u015fm\u0131\u015f, quru \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k tik\u0259l\u0259ri y\u0131\u011f\u0131b yem\u0259mi\u015fdi, saatlarla d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcb bu g\u00fcn ay\u0131n ne\u00e7\u0259si oldu\u011funu, hans\u0131 il oldu\u011funu t\u0259yin etm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ba\u015f s\u0131nd\u0131rmaqdan d\u0259li olmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u018fsir d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f q\u0131zlar\u0131n, qad\u0131nlar\u0131n qaranl\u0131q xarabal\u0131qlardan g\u0259l\u0259n imdad s\u0259sini d\u0259 e\u015fitm\u0259mi\u015fdi. Hardan anlaya bil\u0259rdi onu? \u0130ki \u00fc\u00e7\u00fc g\u00fcnd\u0259n sonra arabir darvazan\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131na \u00e7\u0131xma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131. K\u0259ndd\u0259 anas\u0131na g\u00f6zayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131 verirdil\u0259r amma bunu el\u0259 edirdil\u0259r , sanki ba\u015f sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 verirl\u0259r. Onu da dindirirdil\u0259r, amma el\u0259 bil \u0259caib bir heyvana tama\u015fa edirdil\u0259r. Ham\u0131n\u0131n ona yaz\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u0259lirdi. Bu hiss cox pis, xo\u015fa g\u0259lm\u0259z bir hiss idi. H\u0259r k\u0259s onu dindirm\u0259y\u0259, k\u00f6nl\u00fcn\u00fc alma\u011fa, bununla da sanki nec\u0259 b\u0259db\u0259xt oldu\u011funu bir daha xat\u0131rlatma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Bunun t\u0259sdiqi olaraq evl\u0259rin\u0259 d\u0259st\u0259 -d\u0259st\u0259 qad\u0131nlar g\u0259lirdi. O da m\u0259cbur olurdu ki, bu qad\u0131nlar\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na \u00e7\u0131xs\u0131n, t\u0259z\u0259c\u0259 uzanma\u011fa ba\u015flayan sa\u00e7lar\u0131ndan utana-utana g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259sin. Sinif yolda\u015flar\u0131ndan, ya\u015f\u0131dlar\u0131ndan dem\u0259k olar ki, ham\u0131s\u0131 \u0259rd\u0259 idi. S\u00fcs\u0259ni g\u00f6rd\u00fc bir d\u0259f\u0259, \u0259n yax\u0131n r\u0259fiq\u0259sini, parta yolda\u015f\u0131 S\u00fcs\u0259ni. S\u00fcs\u0259nin art\u0131q \u00fc\u00e7 u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 var idi. N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r \u0259ll\u0259\u015fs\u0259 d\u0259 bu ba\u015f\u0131na \u00e7alma ba\u011flam\u0131\u015f, uzun tumanl\u0131 k\u0259nd arvad\u0131nda ke\u00e7mi\u015f g\u00fcnl\u0259ririn h\u0259md\u0259mi S\u00fcs\u0259nini tapa bilm\u0259di. El\u0259 S\u00fcs\u0259n d\u0259 buna \u00e7ox da c\u0259hd el\u0259m\u0259di. S\u00fcs\u0259n ged\u0259nd\u0259 dal\u0131nca y\u00fcy\u00fcr\u0259n be\u015f, alt\u0131 ya\u015fl\u0131 o\u011flan u\u015fa\u011f\u0131na baxd\u0131. \u0130\u00e7ind\u0259n \u00fc\u015f\u00fctm\u0259 ke\u00e7di. Onunda hardasa bir o\u011flu var idi. \u018fg\u0259r sa\u011f idis\u0259, \u0259lb\u0259td\u0259 ki\u2026 U\u015faq dey\u0259nd\u0259 yad\u0131na orda d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259tirdiyi k\u00f6rp\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc. Atas\u0131n\u0131n kim oldu\u011fu bilinm\u0259y\u0259n k\u00f6rp\u0259. Yad\u0131ndad\u0131r ilk g\u00fcnl\u0259r onun \u0259l aya\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ba\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131lar ki, qarn\u0131na x\u0259t\u0259r yetirm\u0259sin. Kim\u0259 laz\u0131m idi ax\u0131 o u\u015faq? Niy\u0259 qoymurdular m\u0259hv etsin bu qani\u00e7\u0259n balas\u0131n\u0131. Sonra taleyi il\u0259 bar\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Ya\u015f\u0131 az oldu\u011fundan h\u0259l\u0259 ana olmaq haqda t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr\u00fc d\u0259 yox idi. Birc\u0259 onu ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc ki, qarn\u0131ndak\u0131 bu \u015fi\u015fkinlik biyab\u0131r\u00e7\u0131 bir \u015feydir. Sonra u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259tirdi, h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb edirdi ki, nec\u0259 sa\u011f qala bildi. Bir ay u\u015faq onunla qald\u0131. Z\u0259hl\u0259si gedirdi bu daima v\u0259ngild\u0259y\u0259n, q\u0131r\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f m\u0259xluqdan. Nifr\u0259t edirdi ona, amma sonra u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 yan\u0131ndan aparandan sonra q\u0259fild\u0259n onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn dar\u0131xma\u011fa ba\u015flar. Indi r\u0259fiq\u0259sinin yan\u0131ndak\u0131 u\u015fa\u011fa baxanda bir anl\u0131 \u00f6z u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n\u0131 xat\u0131rlad\u0131. Ona \u00f6z u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 dem\u0259y\u0259 dili d\u0259 g\u0259lmirdi. S\u0259h\u0259r yuxusundan anas\u0131n\u0131n sakit, r\u0259van p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lt\u0131lar\u0131na oyand\u0131. P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259nin alt\u0131nda b\u00f6y\u00fck bac\u0131s\u0131 G\u00fclxan\u0131mla dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131lar. -N\u0259n\u0259, s\u00f6z- s\u00f6hb\u0259td\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259rin var? -N\u0259 s\u00f6z- s\u00f6hb\u0259t? -Deyir Murad evd\u0259 deyib ki, m\u0259n Nazil\u0259ni alacam. Qism\u0259timdir, qay\u0131d\u0131b g\u0259libs\u0259 dem\u0259k Allah\u0131n t\u0259qdiridir. Anas\u0131 n\u0259s\u0259 dedi amma o anlamad\u0131. Fikir onu cox uzaqlara aparm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Murad onu yeddinci sinifd\u0259n sevirdi. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 r\u0259fiq\u0259si S\u00fcs\u0259n ona m\u0259ktub g\u0259tirmi\u015fdi. M\u0259ktub Muraddan idi. Onda doqquzuncuda oxuyurdu. K\u0259ndl\u0259rinin q\u0131zlar\u0131 s\u0259kkizinci sinifd\u0259 sevir, doqquzda ni\u015fanlan\u0131r, m\u0259kt\u0259bi qurtarana q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 bir-iki u\u015faq anas\u0131 olurdular. M\u0259ktubu alanda yanaqlar\u0131 od tutub yanma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131. \u0130\u00e7ind\u0259 sevinc, qorxu, q\u00fcrur qar\u0131\u015f\u0131q n\u0259s\u0259 oyand\u0131. \u0130lk i\u015fi m\u0259ktubu yax\u015f\u0131ca gizl\u0259tm\u0259k oldu ki, H\u0259mid tapmas\u0131n. Sonra qo\u015fa d\u0259ft\u0259r v\u0259q\u0259\u011fini a\u00e7\u0131b oxudu. Sonuncu s\u0259hif\u0259d\u0259 q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 q\u0259l\u0259ml\u0259 yek\u0259 bir q\u0131z\u0131lg\u00fcl \u015f\u0259kli \u00e7\u0259kilmi\u015fdi. Q\u0131z\u0131lg\u00fcl\u00fcn \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 Nazil\u0259, yarpa\u011f\u0131na is\u0259 Murad yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. M\u0259ktubu d\u00f6n\u0259-d\u00f6n\u0259 oxudu, sonra sin\u0259sind\u0259 gizl\u0259tdi. S\u0259h\u0259r oyan\u0131b bir daha oxudu v\u0259 g\u00fczg\u00fcn\u00fcn qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na ke\u00e7di. Bu d\u0259f\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259ri, sar\u0131\u015f\u0131n sa\u00e7lar\u0131, qabar\u0131q sin\u0259si, dol\u011fun hamar yanaqlar\u0131 ona daha g\u00f6z\u0259l g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc. Utan\u0131b \u0259ll\u0259ri il\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc qapad\u0131. Sonra Murad\u0131n anas\u0131 g\u0259lib onu b\u0259lg\u0259l\u0259di. Bir k\u0259l\u0259\u011fay\u0131, bir d\u0259 nazik bir \u00fcz\u00fck g\u0259tirmi\u015fdi. \u018fsir d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 o \u00fcz\u00fck barma\u011f\u0131ndayd\u0131. Sonra is\u0259 bilm\u0259di nec\u0259 oldu. \u0130ndi h\u0259r \u015feyi xat\u0131rlad\u0131qca yan\u0131b t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fc. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc ki, g\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n Murad\u0131 sevibmi? Ax\u0131 macal\u0131 olmad\u0131 ki, sevsin. Murad\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcy\u00fc ba\u011fma\u011f\u0131na tax\u0131landan iki h\u0259ft\u0259 sonra \u0259sir d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 sevirdi, amma indi i\u00e7ind\u0259 \u00fcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259 xo\u015f he\u00e7 n\u0259 qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Ba\u015fqa qad\u0131nlarla big\u0259 Murad\u0131n anas\u0131 da g\u0259lmi\u015fdi onu g\u00f6rm\u0259y\u0259. \u00c7\u0259kin\u0259-\u00e7\u0259kin\u0259 n\u0259 zamansa g\u0259lini ola bil\u0259c\u0259k bu b\u0259db\u0259xt q\u0131z\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259n \u00f6pm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. X\u0259yaldan ayr\u0131ld\u0131. Anas\u0131 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131: -B\u0259s Veyis ki\u015fi n\u0259 deyib, ay G\u00fclxan\u0131m? -N\u0259 dey\u0259c\u0259y\u0259 ey, deyib ki, o q\u0131z\u0131 alsan ba\u015f\u0131na papaq qoyub k\u0259nd i\u00e7ind\u0259 g\u0259z\u0259 bil\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n? -Buy, bu n\u0259 s\u00f6zd\u00fcr az. M\u0259g\u0259r m\u0259nim q\u0131z\u0131m pis bir i\u015f tutub. Dilin yans\u0131n ki\u015fi, Allah m\u0259ni \u00f6ld\u00fcrs\u00fcn el\u0259. Anas\u0131 vays\u0131n\u0131b \u0259ll\u0259rini yanlar\u0131na \u00e7\u0131rpd\u0131. G\u00fclxan\u0131m anas\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 baxmadan dedi: -N\u0259n\u0259, onlar\u0131 da q\u0131nama. S\u0259n o\u011fluna \u0259sirlikd\u0259n qay\u0131tm\u0131\u015f q\u0131z alarsan? -Allah erm\u0259nin tifa\u011f\u0131n da\u011f\u0131ts\u0131n! Yaz\u0131q balam! Anas\u0131n\u0131n ma\u011fm\u0131n sif\u0259tini v\u0259 \u00e7ox y\u0259qin ki, bu anda g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259n g\u0131ld\u0131r-g\u0131ld\u0131r s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u0259n g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 g\u0259tirdi g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin \u00f6n\u00fcn\u0259. \u00c7arpay\u0131ya y\u0131x\u0131l\u0131b h\u0131\u00e7q\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bo\u011fa-bo\u011fa h\u00f6nk\u00fcrd\u00fc. K\u0259ndd\u0259 cox s\u0131x\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. Arzu edirdi ki, onu kims\u0259nin tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131 uzaq bir \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 getsin. Burda \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 \u015f\u0259fq\u0259tl\u0259 baxan h\u0259r k\u0259sin g\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n ya\u015fad\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 oxuyurdu. Bel\u0259 ya\u015famaq d\u00f6z\u00fclm\u0259z idi. Ax\u015fama az qal\u0131rd\u0131. Arxas\u0131 \u00fcst\u0259 uzand\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7arpay\u0131nin \u00f6rt\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fcn sa\u00e7aqlar\u0131 il\u0259 oynay\u0131rd\u0131. Fikri ba\u015fqa yerd\u0259 idi. D\u00fcn\u0259n anas\u0131 il\u0259 G\u00fclxan\u0131m\u0131n dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. Bir anl\u0131\u011fa q\u0259rib\u0259 \u015feyl\u0259r x\u0259yal etdi. Bu x\u0259yallarda o, Murad, toy s\u0259dalar\u0131 v\u0259 ba\u015fqa \u015feyl\u0259r vard\u0131. Sonra \u00fcz\u00fc \u00e7arpay\u0131ya t\u0259r\u0259f qoyulmu\u015f kamodun g\u00fczg\u00fcs\u00fcn\u0259 baxd\u0131. Q\u0131rx\u0131lm\u0131\u015f sa\u00e7lar\u0131, yaral\u0131 all\u0259ri v\u0259 b\u0259d\u0259ni, \u00e7uxura d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f g\u00f6zl\u0259ri ona el\u0259 yad g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc ki… X\u0259layyar\u0131ndan utand\u0131. Ax\u0131 kim\u0259 laz\u0131m idi o bundan sonra? Ba\u015f\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 tama\u015fa etm\u0259y\u0259 el\u0259 qar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, S\u0259m\u0259din g\u0259lib paltar dolab\u0131na s\u00f6yk\u0259n\u0259r\u0259k diqq\u0259tl\u0259 ona baxd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yaln\u0131z bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259qiq\u0259d\u0259n sonra anlad\u0131. G\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fdi. -N\u0259di bac\u0131n qurban, n\u0259y\u0259 bax\u0131rsan el\u0259 diqq\u0259tl\u0259? -Bac\u0131, deyirl\u0259r orda \u0259sir d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n q\u0131zlar, qad\u0131nlar \u00f6zl\u0259rini \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f. K\u00f6ks \u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc. D\u00fcz deyirdi S\u0259m\u0259d, bel\u0259 \u015feyl\u0259r \u00e7ox olmu\u015fdu. O da ist\u0259mi\u015fdi d\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 q\u0259sd el\u0259sin. Amma bacarmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u00dcr\u0259yi g\u0259lm\u0259mi\u015fdi. \u018fn pis, d\u00f6z\u00fclm\u0259z anlarda bel\u0259 bacara bilm\u0259mi\u015fdi.Allah intihar\u0131 g\u00fcnah say\u0131r fikrin\u0259 sar\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 g\u00fcya. Amma sad\u0259c\u0259 h\u0259yatdan \u0259l g\u00f6t\u00fcm\u0259y\u0259 c\u0259sar\u0259t tapa bilm\u0259mi\u015fdi. -H\u0259, olub el\u0259 \u015feyl\u0259r. Niy\u0259 soru\u015fdun ki? -B\u0259 s\u0259n niy\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u0259mis\u0259n bac\u0131? Nazil\u0259nin mat\u0131- qutu qurudu. G\u00f6zl\u0259ri ya\u015fard\u0131. -S\u0259n bac\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6lm\u0259yini ist\u0259yirdinmi, g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131. -Yox ey, amma adam n\u0259s\u0259……….. S\u0259m\u0259d a\u011flad\u0131, qa\u00e7\u0131b otaqdan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131d. Bax bel\u0259. Dem\u0259k ham\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259ki \u015f\u0259fq\u0259tin, m\u0259rh\u0259m\u0259tin alt qat\u0131nda c\u0259sar\u0259t edib ver\u0259 bilm\u0259dikl\u0259ri o sual varm\u0131\u015f. S\u0259m\u0259d is\u0259 c\u0259sar\u0259tl\u0259 verdi o sual\u0131. Dem\u0259k onun h\u0259yat\u0131 imi\u015f bu evin \u00fcz\u0259rin\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6k\u0259n qal\u0131n duman. O bu duman\u0131 m\u00fctl\u0259q qovmal\u0131 idi. Nazil\u0259 \u00e7arpay\u0131da b\u00fcz\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb h\u00f6nk\u00fcrd\u00fc. Amma art\u0131q q\u0259rar\u0131n\u0131 vermi\u015fdi. G\u00fcn\u00fc sabah ged\u0259c\u0259kdi bu k\u0259ndd\u0259n. Qoy rahat ya\u015fas\u0131nlar. Ona da kims\u0259nin \u015f\u0259fq\u0259ti, m\u0259rh\u0259m\u0259ti laz\u0131m deyildi. Murad\u0131n f\u0259dakarl\u0131\u011f\u0131 da.O ged\u0259r, bir-iki h\u0259f\u0259t\u0259y\u0259 is\u0259 h\u0259r \u015fey unudular. Ham\u0131 rahatca ya\u015fayar. Ne\u00e7\u0259 ild\u0259n b\u0259ri ilk d\u0259f\u0259 \u00f6lm\u0259k ist\u0259di Nazil\u0259. Xoruzun ilk ban\u0131nda qalx\u0131b geyindi. Paltarlar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7amadan y\u0131\u011fd\u0131. Pul g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc. Az sonra tozlu k\u0259nd yolu il\u0259 ir\u0259ll\u0259yirdi. Evd\u0259n uzaqla\u015fd\u0131qca bayaqk\u0131 q\u0259tiyy\u0259ti azalsa da q\u0259rar verilmi\u015fdi. Avtomobil yoluna \u00e7\u0131xma\u011f\u0131na h\u0259l\u0259 xeyli vard\u0131. S\u0259h\u0259rin havas\u0131n\u0131 ciy\u0259rl\u0259rin\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kdi, g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131 yana\u011f\u0131 boyu s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u0130\u00e7ind\u0259ki s\u0259s susmu\u015fdu. Ne\u00e7\u0259 ill\u0259r \u0259sirlikd\u0259 i\u00e7ind\u0259 sar\u0131 g\u0259lin oxuyan o s\u0259s bu s\u0259h\u0259r daha oxumurdu. -Hara gedirs\u0259n? Diksindi. S\u0259s\u0259 geri \u00e7evrildi. Murad qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc itirdi. Amma art\u0131q sanki duy\u011fular\u0131 k\u00fctl\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdi. -Gedir\u0259m, Murad. Gedir\u0259m ki, \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fczd\u0259ki namus l\u0259k\u0259si t\u0259mizl\u0259nsin. Rahat ya\u015faya bil\u0259siniz. -Getm\u0259, Nazil\u0259! -Yox, Murad getm\u0259liy\u0259m. Gecdir, cox gecdir. D\u00fcz doqquz il gecikmi\u015f\u0259m. -Onda m\u0259ni d\u0259 apar. Susdu. N\u0259 dey\u0259c\u0259yini bilm\u0259di. \u0130\u00e7ind\u0259 el\u0259 bil n\u0259s\u0259 yerind\u0259n oynad\u0131. -S\u0259ninl\u0259y\u0259m, cavab ver! Apar\u0131rsan m\u0259ni? -B\u0259s s\u0259n bu namussuzlu\u011fu g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259 bil\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n? -Nazil\u0259, m\u0259n bu doqquz ild\u0259 h\u0259l\u0259 bu g\u00fcnk\u00fc q\u0259d\u0259r namuslu olmam\u0131\u015fam. G\u00fcn\u0259\u015f yava\u015f-yava\u015f \u00fcf\u00fcqd\u0259n boylan\u0131rd\u0131. K\u0259nd q\u0131p-q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 \u015f\u0259f\u0259q\u0259 b\u0259l\u0259nmi\u015fdi. Din\u015f\u0259di.\u0130\u00e7ind\u0259 sar\u0131 g\u0259lin oxuyurdu kims\u0259.<\/p>\n

Yaz\u0131ya 1189 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0G\u00f6zl\u0259rini a\u00e7ma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fsa da h\u00f6rra kimi g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 dolan s\u00fcbh yuxusundan can qurtara bilmirdi. Yuxu onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn s\u0131\u011f\u0131nacaq idi. G\u00fcnd\u0259lik d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tl\u0259rd\u0259n, ac\u0131lardan, qorxulardan gizl\u0259ndiyi s\u0131\u011f\u0131nacaq. \u0130\u00e7ind\u0259 tez- tez yat\u0131b ay\u0131lmamaq ist\u0259yi olurdu. Amma bu ist\u0259yin d\u0259rinliyind\u0259 \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc k\u00fcl ba\u011flam\u0131\u015f bir h\u0259yat e\u015fqi d\u0259 vard\u0131. D\u0259rin yuxu t\u0259b\u0259q\u0259sinin alt\u0131nda hiss etdi ki, bu h\u0259yat e\u015fqi bu s\u0259h\u0259r […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6742,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16,3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7461"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7461"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7461\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7464,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7461\/revisions\/7464"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6742"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7461"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7461"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7461"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}