{"id":7581,"date":"2014-12-29T12:25:14","date_gmt":"2014-12-29T08:25:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=7581"},"modified":"2014-12-29T12:25:15","modified_gmt":"2014-12-29T08:25:15","slug":"anar-goz-muncugu-povest","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=7581","title":{"rendered":"ANAR — “G\u00f6z muncu\u011fu” (povest)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"anar\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201c\u018fg\u0259r Allah sizin qulaqlar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 v\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rinizi \u0259linizd\u0259n alsa, \u00fcr\u0259kl\u0259riniz\u0259 m\u00f6h\u00fcr vursa, onlar\u0131 siz\u0259 Allahdan ba\u015fqa kim qaytara bil\u0259r?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0QURAN\u0130-K\u018fR\u0130M. \u018fl \u018fnam sur\u0259si. 46<\/p>\n

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\u00abHoratsio, yerl\u0259rd\u0259 v\u0259 g\u00f6yl\u0259rd\u0259 bir \u00e7ox el\u0259 \u015feyl\u0259r vard\u0131r ki, onlar s\u0259nin aliml\u0259rinin yuxusuna da girm\u0259yibdir. Onlar\u0131 bizim idrak\u0131m\u0131z bir x\u00fclya kimi bel\u0259 t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr ed\u0259 bilmir\u00bb.<\/p>\n

U. \u015eEKSP\u0130R,<\/p>\n

ingilis dramaturqu, \u00abHamlet\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00a0(\u00e7evir\u0259ni C\u0259f\u0259r Cabbarl\u0131)<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cM\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259ni inkar ed\u0259n insan d\u0259rhal Allah\u0131 da inkar ed\u0259c\u0259k, \u00e7\u00fcnki Allahdan \u00e7ox m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259y\u0259 m\u00f6htacd\u0131r. M\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259siz ya\u015faya bilm\u0259diyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6z\u00fc m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259l\u0259r uydurma\u011fa ba\u015flay\u0131r, caduya, ovsuna, fala meyl edir\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0F. M. DOSTOYEVSK\u0130,<\/p>\n

rus yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cAllah bizi ona g\u00f6r\u0259 yarad\u0131b ki, bizim vasit\u0259mizl\u0259 H\u0259qiq\u0259t d\u0259rk olunsun\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0C\u018fLAL\u018fDD\u0130N RUM\u0130,<\/p>\n

t\u00fcrk \u015fairi<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cS\u0259n\u0259t biz\u0259 ona g\u00f6r\u0259 verilib ki, H\u0259qiq\u0259t bizi \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u0259sin\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0FR\u0130DR\u0130X N\u0130TS\u015eE,<\/p>\n

alman filosofu<\/p>\n

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B\u0130R\u0130NC\u0130 F\u018fS\u0130L<\/p>\n

\n

D\u018fFN\u0130MD\u018fN SONRA \u00dc\u00c7\u00dcNC\u00dc G\u00dcN<\/p>\n

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D\u00fcnya bird\u0259n soyuyacaq,<\/p>\n

Yuyucu t\u0259nim yuyacaq.<\/p>\n

Ax\u0131r ki, q\u0259br\u0259 qoyacaq,<\/p>\n

\u018fc\u0259b nola hal\u0131m m\u0259nim.<\/p>\n

\n

\n

Be\u015f qar\u0131\u015f bezd\u0259ndir donum,<\/p>\n

\u0130lan-\u00e7ayan yey\u0259 t\u0259nim.<\/p>\n

Hara d\u00f6ns\u0259m da\u015fd\u0131 y\u00f6n\u00fcm,<\/p>\n

\u018fc\u0259b nola hal\u0131m m\u0259nim.<\/p>\n

YUNUS \u0130MR\u018f<\/p>\n

\n

\u00ab\u0130nsan ancaq qar\u011f\u0131d\u0131r, t\u0259bi\u0259td\u0259 z\u0259ifl\u0259rd\u0259n z\u0259ifdir, amma o, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259n qar\u011f\u0131d\u0131r. Kainat onu m\u0259hv etm\u0259k ist\u0259s\u0259, zora d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259z, asanl\u0131qla \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u0259 bil\u0259r. Amma \u0259g\u0259r Kainat onu m\u0259hv ets\u0259 bel\u0259, \u0130nsan onu \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u0259nd\u0259n daha l\u0259yaq\u0259tlidir, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc o, \u00f6ld\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc bilir, amma onu \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u0259n Kainat \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn bu \u00fcst\u00fcnl\u00fcy\u00fc bar\u0259d\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 bilmir\u00bb.<\/p>\n

\n

BLEZ PASKAL,<\/p>\n

frans\u0131z filosofu<\/p>\n

\n

\u00ab\u00d6l\u00fcm b\u00fct\u00fcn insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00fcmumi xo\u015fb\u0259xtliyidir. Bizi O d\u00fcnyada \u0259b\u0259di s\u0259ad\u0259tmi g\u00f6zl\u0259yir? Bu sual\u0131n cavab\u0131 bizi u\u00e7urum qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na g\u0259tirir ki, \u015f\u00fcurumuz bu u\u00e7urumu adlay\u0131b ke\u00e7m\u0259y\u0259 qadir deyil\u00bb.<\/p>\n

\n

S\u00d6REN KYERKEQOR,<\/p>\n

Danimarka filosofu<\/p>\n

\n

A \u011fr\u0131… d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tli, d\u00f6z\u00fclm\u0259z a\u011fr\u0131… B\u0259d\u0259nimin, sif\u0259timin h\u0259r qar\u0131\u015f\u0131na k\u00f6z bas\u0131rlar. A\u011fr\u0131dan q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rmaq… s\u0259sim \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131r<\/p>\n

\n

A\u011fr\u0131… qaranl\u0131q… Zil -z\u00fclm\u0259t qaranl\u0131q. G\u00f6z g\u00f6z\u00fc g\u00f6rm\u00fcr. G\u00f6zl\u0259rim he\u00e7 n\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u00fcr. G\u00f6zl\u0259rim qapal\u0131d\u0131r…<\/p>\n

\n

A\u011fr\u0131… d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tli, d\u00f6z\u00fclm\u0259z a\u011fr\u0131… Yava\u015f-yava\u015f yadda\u015f\u0131m oyan\u0131r… Y\u00fcks\u0259klik. \u00c7oooox-\u00e7oooox uca y\u00fcks\u0259klik. Da\u011f zirv\u0259si? Yox, deyil. Qar\u015f\u0131mda dibi g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259z u\u00e7urum… U\u00e7uram…<\/p>\n

H\u00fcnd\u00fcr binan\u0131n t\u0259p\u0259sind\u0259n… Qar\u015f\u0131mda u\u00e7urum… U\u00e7uram…<\/p>\n

Kimdi arxadan yax\u0131nla\u015fan… Bir \u0259li \u00e7iynimd\u0259, bir \u0259li belimd\u0259… G\u00fccl\u00fc t\u0259kan. U\u00e7uram…<\/p>\n

\n

U\u00e7urumun dibi – k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259. Binalar mayallaq a\u015f\u0131r… Saniy\u0259nin mind\u0259 biri… Z\u0259rb\u0259. \u0130\u00e7imd\u0259 n\u0259 is\u0259 qopub t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcr… Sif\u0259tim istid\u0259n bu\u011flanan asfalta yap\u0131\u015f\u0131b, f\u0259tir kimi yast\u0131lan\u0131b. Burnum yanaqlar\u0131m\u0131n aras\u0131ndan harasa i\u00e7\u0259ri \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcr.<\/p>\n

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A\u011fr\u0131 … D\u0259h\u015f\u0259tli a\u011fr\u0131, d\u00f6z\u00fclm\u0259z a\u011fr\u0131… Beynimd\u0259 ild\u0131r\u0131m \u00e7ax\u0131r.<\/p>\n

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Sonra… he\u00e7 n\u0259…<\/p>\n

… n\u0259 a\u011fr\u0131, n\u0259 i\u015f\u0131q, n\u0259 qaranl\u0131q… s\u0259ssizlik, s\u00fckut…<\/p>\n

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\u0130ndi a\u011fr\u0131dan a\u011fr\u0131 deyildi, a\u011fr\u0131n\u0131n t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr\u00fc idi. Ha\u00e7ansa duyulmu\u015f a\u011fr\u0131n\u0131n yadda\u015fda h\u0259kk olunmu\u015f xatir\u0259si…<\/p>\n

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G\u00f6z qapaqlar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00fcc verib a\u011f\u0131r y\u00fck qald\u0131ran kimi qald\u0131rd\u0131. Zil-z\u00fclm\u0259t qaranl\u0131q… Bu – qapal\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259rin i\u00e7ind\u0259 \u00e7\u0259hray\u0131, sar\u0131, ya\u015f\u0131l dair\u0259l\u0259r oyna\u015fan qaranl\u0131q deyildi, a\u00e7\u0131q g\u00f6zl\u0259rin qaranl\u0131\u011f\u0131 idi. B\u00fct\u00fcn al\u0259m\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015f qaranl\u0131q… He\u00e7 yerd\u0259n iyn\u0259 ucu boyda i\u015f\u0131q g\u0259lmir. El\u0259 qat\u0131 qaranl\u0131q idi ki, g\u00f6z he\u00e7 vaxt buna al\u0131\u015f\u0131b n\u0259yis\u0259 se\u00e7\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k.<\/p>\n

N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r bax\u0131rsan – bax, \u0259trafdak\u0131 \u0259\u015fyalar\u0131n cizgil\u0259rini bir-birind\u0259n ay\u0131ra bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n. \u018fslind\u0259, \u0259trafda he\u00e7 bir \u0259\u015fya da yoxdu. \u018ftraf\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 yoxdu. Dar, qaranl\u0131q bir torban\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259ydi sanki.<\/p>\n

Ana b\u0259tninin qaranl\u0131\u011f\u0131… bay\u0131r d\u00fcnyan\u0131n r\u0259ngl\u0259ri haqq\u0131nda he\u00e7 bir t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr olmayan vaxt\u0131n qaranl\u0131\u011f\u0131. Ya da d\u00fcnyaya, i\u015f\u0131\u011fa \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131sansa, yen\u0259 d\u0259 anadang\u0259lm\u0259 korun qaranl\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7ind\u0259s\u0259n.<\/p>\n

\n

Varl\u0131\u011f\u0131na bird\u0259n-bir\u0259 d\u00f6z\u00fclm\u0259z a\u011fr\u0131yla bir yerd\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015fdu bu qaranl\u0131q v\u0259 indi a\u011fr\u0131 hoyutqay\u0131b can\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131xandan sonra, o q\u0131sa an\u0131n xatir\u0259si a\u011fr\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fc q\u0259d\u0259r g\u00f6yn\u0259dirdi…<\/p>\n

A\u011fr\u0131 ona \u015f\u00fcurunu qaytar\u0131rd\u0131, \u015f\u00fcuru damla-damla, q\u0259tr\u0259-q\u0259tr\u0259, misqal-misqal q\u0131m\u0131ldanma\u011fa ba\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

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Kim idi it\u0259l\u0259y\u0259n onu bu y\u00fcks\u0259klikd\u0259n? Ani u\u00e7u\u015fdan sonra i\u00e7ind\u0259 ani partlay\u0131\u015f, sanki b\u00fct\u00fcn i\u00e7alat\u0131 qopub t\u00f6k\u00fcld\u00fc. B\u0259s bu su hardand\u0131, leysan ya\u011f\u0131\u015f kimi ba\u015f\u0131na ya\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. Du\u015f,.. \u00abdu\u015f\u00bb t\u00fcrkl\u0259r yuxuya deyir. Bizd\u0259 du\u015fa \u00e7il\u0259k dey\u0259nl\u0259r d\u0259 var. Amma bu su du\u015f kimi \u00e7il\u0259mirdi, \u00abucundan tut g\u00f6y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u00bb ya\u011fmur da deyildi. Dopdolu l\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259n \u0259nd\u0259rilmi\u015f kimi, ba\u015fdan-aya\u011fa b\u00fct\u00fcn b\u0259d\u0259nini islatm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, b\u00fct\u00fcn v\u00fccudunu soyuq bir g\u00fcnd\u0259 s\u0131z\u0131m-s\u0131z\u0131m s\u0131z\u0131ldatm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, \u0259tini biz-biz etmi\u015fdi. … V\u00fccud… V\u00fccudnam\u0259. \u0130nsan\u0131 d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259ldiyi andan son d\u0259qiq\u0259sin\u0259c\u0259n t\u0259svir ed\u0259n \u015feir. H\u0259tta \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnd\u0259n sonra q\u0259bird\u0259ki v\u0259ziyy\u0259tini d\u0259… Hans\u0131 filosof deyib, \u00f6l\u00fcm an\u0131nda, – bu q\u0259fil \u00f6l\u00fcmd\u00fcrs\u0259 bel\u0259, – h\u0259r bir insan b\u00fct\u00fcn ya\u015fan\u0131lm\u0131\u015f \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcr, \u0259n x\u0131rda hadis\u0259l\u0259rin\u0259d\u0259k…<\/p>\n

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\u00c7ap\u0131q sif\u0259tli adam g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc bird\u0259n yadda\u015f\u0131nda… n\u0259rdtaxta s\u0259sl\u0259ri, at\u0131lan z\u0259rl\u0259r, \u015fe\u015f \u00e7ahar, c\u00fct s\u0259 p\u0259nc qo\u015fa; Qo\u015fa p\u0259nc daha \u00e7ox qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 yad\u0131nda. Qocaman alim… Od i\u00e7ind\u0259 yan\u0131r… alovdan qurtulmaq\u00e7\u00fcn xal\u00e7aya b\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcr, xal\u0131 da al\u0131\u015f\u0131b yan\u0131r… Q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 zolaq-zolaq xalat\u0131m\u0131 geyinmi\u015f Zakir\u0131n b\u0259r\u0259lmi\u015f g\u00f6zl\u0259ri, \u00e7\u0131lpaq qad\u0131n belind\u0259 k\u00fcp\u0259 yerl\u0259ri… Qaranl\u0131q salonda a\u011faran qad\u0131n dizl\u0259ri… Kimdi o qad\u0131n? \u00d6l\u00fcm m\u0259l\u0259yi? \u018fzray\u0131l?<\/p>\n

\u00d6l\u00fcm bel\u0259ymi\u015f… B\u0259s o y\u00fcks\u0259klik, u\u00e7u\u015f, a\u011fr\u0131n\u0131n xatir\u0259si… Tan\u0131\u015f sif\u0259tl\u0259r… \u00d6l\u00fcbs\u0259, bunlar\u0131 nec\u0259 xat\u0131rlay\u0131r? B\u0259lk\u0259 o d\u00fcnya dedikl\u0259ri budu… N\u0259di \u00f6l\u00fcm -h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259lik Son ya ba\u015fqa bir h\u0259yat\u0131n ba\u015flan\u011f\u0131c\u0131…<\/p>\n

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\u018fn \u00e7ox darl\u0131qdan s\u0131x\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131… \u018fl-qol atmaq ist\u0259yirdi, \u0259li-qolu ba\u011fl\u0131yd\u0131… Yadda\u015f\u0131nda bir xatir\u0259 oyand\u0131. Misird\u0259ydi, dar tunell\u0259 ehramlara, piramidalara t\u0259r\u0259f s\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc… Bird\u0259n \u00fcr\u0259yi s\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131, durmaq ist\u0259di, amma boru kimi dar tunelin i\u00e7ind\u0259 qalxa bilm\u0259zdi, qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda da onun kimi s\u00fcr\u00fcn\u0259n turistl\u0259r, arxada da turistl\u0259r… daha n\u0259 arxaya, n\u0259 qaba\u011fa ke\u00e7m\u0259k m\u00fcmk\u00fcn idi, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 da qald\u0131ra bilmirdi, bax, bu saat t\u0259ngiy\u0259c\u0259k, \u00fcr\u0259yi partlayacaq…<\/p>\n

Partlamad\u0131. \u0130ndi d\u0259 eyni hissi ke\u00e7irirdim. Amma bapbalacayd\u0131m, bir \u0259lc\u0259… b\u0259d\u0259nim, \u0259ll\u0259rim, ayaqlar\u0131m n\u0259m, \u00e7iri\u015f, yum\u015faq divarlara d\u0259yir. Qanl\u0131 v\u0259 duru madd\u0259d\u0259n ibar\u0259t h\u00f6rr\u0259nin i\u00e7ind\u0259y\u0259m. Qaranl\u0131q v\u0259 s\u00fckut i\u00e7ind\u0259 \u00e7ox uzaqlardan bir s\u0259s e\u015fidilir – ritmik bir d\u00f6y\u00fcnt\u00fc, sanki qatar s\u0259sidir, qatar harasa t\u0259l\u0259sir… V\u0259 m\u0259nim \u00f6z i\u00e7imd\u0259 d\u0259 bu d\u00f6y\u00fcnt\u00fcyl\u0259 h\u0259mah\u0259ng n\u0259 is\u0259 \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131n\u0131r, gedib-g\u0259lir…<\/p>\n

Qar\u0131n nahiy\u0259sind\u0259n i\u00e7in\u0259 n\u0259 is\u0259 ax\u0131rd\u0131… t\u00fck \u00fcrp\u0259d\u0259n (halbuki h\u0259l\u0259 t\u00fck\u00fc d\u0259 yoxdu) ba\u011f\u0131rt\u0131… qad\u0131n q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rt\u0131s\u0131… Suya q\u0259rq olurdu… az qala bo\u011fulacaqd\u0131… Hans\u0131 q\u00fcvv\u0259s\u0259 it\u0259l\u0259yirdi onu.<\/p>\n

\u00c7ox-\u00e7ox ill\u0259r sonra ucal\u0131qdan \u00f6l\u00fcm\u0259 it\u0259l\u0259ndiyi kimi, indi d\u0259 h\u0259yata it\u0259l\u0259nirdi… \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fcn yox, kimins\u0259 a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131yla, nal\u0259l\u0259riyl\u0259, f\u0259ryadlar\u0131yla, adda-budda s\u00f6zl\u0259riyl\u0259 dar bir tunel\u0259 p\u0259r\u00e7im olmu\u015fdu, qurtulmaq ist\u0259yirdi… n\u0259f\u0259si k\u0259silirdi…<\/p>\n

H\u0259r h\u0259ml\u0259, h\u0259r \u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131rt\u0131 onu i\u015f\u0131\u011fa yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131… daha bir h\u0259ml\u0259, daha bir q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131q. Bird\u0259n asud\u0259lik duydu v\u0259 \u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. H\u0259min andaca \u00f6z\u00fc ba\u011f\u0131ra-ba\u011f\u0131ra a\u011flama\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n

Hardasa oxumu\u015fdu, d\u00fcnyadan g\u0259lib ke\u00e7\u0259n b\u00fct\u00fcn insanlardan yaln\u0131z biri – Z\u0259rd\u00fc\u015ft pey\u011f\u0259mb\u0259r anadan olanda, a\u011flam\u0131rm\u0131\u015f, g\u00fcl\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f.<\/p>\n

Niy\u0259 a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131? Can\u0131 can\u0131ndan, qan\u0131 qan\u0131ndan olan varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n a\u011fr\u0131lar\u0131yla, \u0259zablar\u0131yla, g\u00fcc\u0259nm\u0259siyl\u0259 onun i\u00e7ind\u0259n i\u015f\u0131\u011fa \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015f, g\u00f6z\u0259lim d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259lmi\u015fdi.<\/p>\n

G\u0259lmi\u015fdim. Hans\u0131 filosof deyib ki, insan d\u00fcnyaya s\u0259ssizlik i\u00e7ind\u0259 g\u0259lir. D\u00fcnyaya bel\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015fdim, d\u00fcnyadan bel\u0259 getm\u0259liydim – ani bir u\u00e7u\u015fla. Yer\u0259 s\u0259rilib ya\u015fam\u0131m\u0131 qeyb etdikd\u0259n sonra torpa\u011fa g\u00f6m\u00fclm\u0259liydim. Amma bunu xat\u0131rlam\u0131rd\u0131m. \u015e\u00fcurum o d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tli u\u00e7u\u015fla, d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tli a\u011fr\u0131yla birlikd\u0259 s\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc… \u0130ndi d\u0259, t\u0259bii, torpa\u011f\u0131n alt\u0131nda olmal\u0131yd\u0131m.<\/p>\n

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Olmal\u0131yd\u0131. \u00d6l\u00fcl\u0259r d\u00fcnyas\u0131nda. Onda b\u0259s bu fikirl\u0259r n\u0259 idi, beynin\u0259 gil\u0259-gil\u0259 s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fc, yadda\u015f\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7e\u015fidli s\u0259hn\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259, s\u0259sl\u0259rl\u0259, fikirl\u0259rl\u0259 doldururdu?<\/p>\n

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\u00d6mr\u00fc boyu materialist olmu\u015fdu. \u00d6l\u00fcmd\u0259n sonra ba\u015fqa bir h\u0259yat\u0131n m\u00f6vcudlu\u011funa he\u00e7 vaxt inanmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. B\u0259lk\u0259, yan\u0131l\u0131rm\u0131\u015f. B\u0259lk\u0259, \u00f6m\u00fcr saat k\u0259fkiri kimi h\u0259yat v\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcm aras\u0131nda o yan – bu yana gedib – g\u0259lir. O yana – m\u0259lum. B\u0259s bu yana? Bu yanadam\u0131 qay\u0131d\u0131rm\u0131\u015f h\u0259yat k\u0259fkiri? B\u0259s onda?<\/p>\n

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O d\u00fcnya dedikl\u0259ri buymu\u015f – dardan dar, r\u00fctub\u0259tli, kif qoxuyan, n\u0259m, soyuq, h\u0259nirsiz-s\u0259ssiz…<\/p>\n

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\u018fli-qolu ba\u011fl\u0131, h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tsiz uzanm\u0131\u015fam. \u0130ndic\u0259 inkir-m\u00fcnkir g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k, sor\u011fu – suala tutacaq… \u00d6l\u00fcl\u0259r zarafat da ed\u0259rmi\u015f? \u00d6lu oldu\u011fumu d\u0259qiq d\u0259rk edir\u0259ms\u0259, bu, \u00a0ger\u00e7\u0259kd\u0259n d\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcmd\u00fcm\u00fc?<\/p>\n

Elektirik c\u0259r\u0259yan\u0131 \u00e7alm\u0131\u015f kimi q\u0259fil bir fikir beynimi yand\u0131rd\u0131: \u00f6l\u00fc deyil\u0259m.<\/p>\n

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Diriy\u0259m… Diri-diri g\u00f6m\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m torpa\u011fa, v\u0259 indi hans\u0131 m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259yl\u0259s\u0259 ay\u0131lm\u0131\u015fam bu \u00f6l\u00fcm yuxusundan… \u018flim-qolum ba\u011fl\u0131, b\u00fct\u00fcn v\u00fccudum k\u0259f\u0259n\u0259 b\u00fck\u00fcl\u00fc, s\u0131m-s\u0131x sar\u0131l\u0131… Dem\u0259li, m\u0259ni meyit bilib basd\u0131r\u0131blar, m\u0259zar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 a\u011f\u0131r, sal da\u015flar qoyub, \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 torpaq s\u0259pibl\u0259r…<\/p>\n

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Bunu d\u0259rk etm\u0259kd\u0259n \u00fcr\u0259yi dayana bil\u0259rdi. Ka\u015f… D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc ki, bu \u00e7\u0131x\u0131lmaz \u00e7\u0131xmazdan yegan\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f olard\u0131. Ayr\u0131 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f yoxdu. K\u0259f\u0259ni y\u0131rt\u0131b \u00e7\u0131xa bils\u0259 bel\u0259, a\u011f\u0131r sal da\u015flar\u0131 qald\u0131rma\u011fa, torpa\u011f\u0131 k\u0259nara at\u0131b \u00abxortlay\u0131b\u00bb qalxma\u011fa g\u00fcc\u00fc \u00e7atmazd\u0131…<\/p>\n

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Yegan\u0259 xilas yolu (xilas ha!) s\u0259br edib, can\u0131n\u0131 di\u015fin\u0259 s\u0131x\u0131b, ger\u00e7\u0259k \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259kdi… G\u00f6r\u0259n ne\u00e7\u0259 vaxta \u00e7atacaq m\u0259zar\u0131n havas\u0131?<\/p>\n

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G\u00f6r\u0259n ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcnd\u00fcr d\u0259fn olundu\u011fum? H\u0259l\u0259 n\u0259f\u0259s al\u0131ramsa, dem\u0259li, lap yax\u0131nlarda basd\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015fam. Ger\u00e7\u0259k \u00f6l\u00fcm son n\u0259f\u0259simi k\u0259sinc\u0259 havas\u0131zl\u0131qdan bo\u011fulacaq, i\u015fg\u0259nc\u0259l\u0259r \u00e7\u0259k\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m. M\u0259zar qurdlar\u0131 k\u0259f\u0259nimi did\u0259c\u0259k, sonra can\u0131ma dara\u015facaqlar… Allah, n\u0259ydi g\u00fcnah\u0131m? S\u0259n\u0259 inanmama\u011f\u0131m? Vallah, \u00fcr\u0259yimin d\u0259rinliyind\u0259 inan\u0131rd\u0131m, int\u0259has\u0131, m\u00fchit, \u015f\u0259rait el\u0259ydi ki, \u00abinanm\u0131ram\u00bb dem\u0259liydim.<\/p>\n

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H\u0259, indi Allaha \u00fcz tutursan, \u00f6mr\u00fcn boyu varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 dand\u0131\u011f\u0131n Allaha… Allaha t\u0259v\u0259kk\u00fcl… Allahdan ba\u015fqa he\u00e7 n\u0259y\u0259, he\u00e7 kim\u0259 \u00fcmid yoxdu…<\/p>\n

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M\u0259ni burdan yaln\u0131z Allah adlanan M\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259 qurtara bil\u0259r. Yox, xam x\u0259yald\u0131, b\u0259lk\u0259, m\u0259ni c\u0259zaland\u0131ran d\u0259 el\u0259 Allah\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fcd\u00fcr. \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, \u0259g\u0259r do\u011frudan da varsa. Dem\u0259li, yen\u0259 Onun varl\u0131\u011f\u0131na \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259yl\u0259 yana\u015f\u0131rsan. Bax, budur c\u0259zan\u0131n s\u0259b\u0259bi. Yox, Allah, ax\u0131, x\u0131rda\u00e7\u0131 deyil, \u0259stafurullah, bilir ki, ona inansam da, inanmasam da h\u0259yat\u0131m boyu \u0259m\u0259li-saleh \u00f6m\u00fcr s\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m. He\u00e7 k\u0259s\u0259 pisliyim d\u0259ym\u0259yib. He\u00e7 bir xilafi – vicdan i\u015f g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m.<\/p>\n

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S\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lir. S\u0259nin \u00f6z \u0259m\u0259ll\u0259rin\u0259 verdiyin qiym\u0259tdir, b\u0259lk\u0259, s\u0259nin Xeyir bildiyin kimin\u00e7\u00fcns\u0259 \u015e\u0259r imi\u015f.<\/p>\n

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Allah varsa, dem\u0259li, O biri d\u00fcnya da var. Dem\u0259li, yaln\u0131z d\u00f6z\u00fcb g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259lis\u0259n, h\u0259r bir \u0259zaba t\u0259h\u0259mm\u00fcl g\u00f6st\u0259rib Xilas kimi \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fc g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259lis\u0259n. Ger\u00e7\u0259k \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fc. \u00d6l\u00fcmd\u0259n sonra, h\u0259qiqi \u00f6l\u00fcmd\u0259n sonra is\u0259 ba\u015fqa bir h\u0259yat ba\u015flayacaq v\u0259 orada b\u00fct\u00fcn cavabs\u0131z suallar\u0131n cavab\u0131n\u0131 tapacaqsan. Bu d\u00fcnyadak\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn haqs\u0131zl\u0131qlar\u0131n \u0259v\u0259zi \u00e7\u0131xacaq.<\/p>\n

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Hardan g\u0259lib d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc bird\u0259n beynim\u0259 KARMA s\u00f6z\u00fc? Karma n\u0259 dem\u0259kdir, hans\u0131 dild\u0259dir bu s\u00f6z? \u0130ndi bu q\u0259d\u0259r do\u011fma bildiyi s\u00f6z\u00fc he\u00e7 c\u00fcr yada sala bilmirdi. Bu m\u00f6vzuda oxudu\u011fu kitablar\u0131 bir-bir yadda\u015f\u0131na qaytarma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259r halda, vaxt\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u0259k\u00e7\u00fcn bir m\u0259\u015f\u011fuliyy\u0259tdi. H\u0259m d\u0259 bu v\u0259ziyy\u0259tind\u0259 ona bir az t\u0259s\u0259llidir.<\/p>\n

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\u00d6l\u00fcmd\u0259n sonra h\u0259yat… Yenid\u0259n ya\u015famaq… Ba\u015fqa h\u0259yat… O biri d\u00fcnya…<\/p>\n

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Bir vaxtlar Daniil Andreyevin* kitab\u0131nda oxudu\u011fum v\u0259 oxudu\u011fum zaman m\u0259ni mat qoyan s\u00f6zl\u0259r yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc… Daniil Andreyev yaz\u0131r ki, son d\u0259f\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7 y\u00fcz il bundan \u0259vv\u0259l \u00f6l\u00fcbm\u00fc\u015f. El\u0259 bir \u00f6lk\u0259d\u0259 ki, \u00e7ox q\u0259dim v\u0259 g\u00fccl\u00fc m\u0259d\u0259niyy\u0259ti var. \u0130ndiki h\u0259yat\u0131nda Daniil ta k\u00f6rp\u0259likd\u0259n \u00f6mr\u00fc boyu o k\u00f6hn\u0259 v\u0259t\u0259ni \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn q\u0259ribs\u0259yib, \u00e7\u00fcnki, dediyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, o \u00f6lk\u0259d\u0259 bir yox, bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131b. \u00d6l\u00fcb, dirilib.<\/p>\n

B\u0259lk\u0259, do\u011frudan da bel\u0259dir. Ax\u0131, yad\u0131mdad\u0131r, M\u00f6vlana da deyirdi ki, nadanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u0259n s\u0259feh v\u0259 \u0259n al\u00e7aq \u015f\u0259kli bu h\u0259yatdan sonra ba\u015fqa h\u0259yat\u0131 inkar etm\u0259kdir.<\/p>\n

Sufil\u0259rin m\u0259\u015fhur l\u0259tif\u0259sini xat\u0131rlad\u0131. K\u0259p\u0259n\u0259yi \u015fam\u0131n odu c\u0259lb edir. U\u00e7ub \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc alova vurub yan\u0131r. G\u00f6zl\u0259yirl\u0259r ki, d\u00f6n\u0259c\u0259k, g\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259rini dan\u0131\u015facaq. Amma o, at\u0259\u015fin i\u00e7ind\u0259 qeyb olur, n\u0259 izi, n\u0259 ad\u0131, n\u0259 ondan bir nami-ni\u015fan\u0259 qal\u0131r. Bir d\u0259, niy\u0259 qay\u0131ts\u0131n ki, Sevdiyin\u0259 qovu\u015fub da.<\/p>\n

Sevdiyi – Allahd\u0131r, Sufi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259sind\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcm Allaha qovu\u015fmaqd\u0131r.<\/p>\n

B\u0259s bilmirs\u0259n s\u0259nin \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck g\u00fcnah\u0131n n\u0259ydi? He\u00e7 n\u0259y\u0259 inanmama\u011f\u0131n yox. Allah\u0131 danma\u011f\u0131n da yox, xeyr. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc Allah sayma\u011f\u0131n. Allahl\u0131q iddian. B\u0259ni- insana m\u0259nsub olmayan, yaln\u0131z Allaha aid \u0259m\u0259ll\u0259rl\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011ful olma\u011f\u0131n. F\u0259rqi yoxdur, n\u0259 m\u0259qs\u0259dl\u0259; Xeyir\u0259mi, \u015e\u0259r\u0259mi … M\u00fclayim bir yay s\u0259h\u0259ri. Bak\u0131n\u0131n k\u00f6hn\u0259, dar, k\u0259l\u0259-k\u00f6t\u00fcr k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n biri… . Birm\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259li evin qaba\u011f\u0131ndak\u0131 s\u0259ki. Daz ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n gicgahlar\u0131 a\u011farm\u0131\u015f sinli, tor maykal\u0131 ki\u015fi, tor maykas\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131ndan p\u0131rp\u0131z t\u00fckl\u0259ri g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr. \u018fvv\u0259lc\u0259 s\u0259kini sulay\u0131r (q\u0131zmar asfaltdan qalxan buxar) … K\u0259tilin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 sal\u0131nm\u0131\u015f q\u0259zet, q\u0259zetin \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 armudu st\u0259kanda \u00e7ay… Z\u0259nc\u0259fil, mix\u0259k, limon qoxusu… Q\u0131rtdama q\u0259ndi st\u0259kana bat\u0131r\u0131b a\u011fz\u0131na apar\u0131r, \u00e7aydan bir qurtum i\u00e7ir…<\/p>\n

N\u0259d\u0259n yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc bu? Kim idi, n\u0259yim idi bu ki\u015fi? He\u00e7 n\u0259yim… S\u0259h\u0259r erk\u0259n elektrik qatar\u0131yla Buzovnadan \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 qay\u0131tm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m, evimiz\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f ged\u0259rk\u0259n k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm bu \u00e7ay i\u00e7\u0259n ki\u015fini. Tan\u0131\u015f\u0131m da deyildi. \u0130lk d\u0259f\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcm onu. He\u00e7 bir s\u0259b\u0259b olmadan n\u0259d\u0259n yadda\u015f\u0131ma \u0259b\u0259di h\u0259kk olunub bu s\u0259hn\u0259?<\/p>\n

B\u0259lk\u0259, t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf edirdim?! N\u0259d\u0259n onun kimi evimizin qaba\u011f\u0131ndak\u0131 s\u0259kini sulamad\u0131m, k\u0259tilin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 q\u0259zet s\u0259rib armudu st\u0259kandan di\u015fl\u0259m\u0259 q\u0259ndl\u0259 z\u0259nc\u0259filli, limonlu \u00e7ay i\u00e7m\u0259dim?<\/p>\n

Bel\u0259 \u0259tirli \u00e7aylar\u0131 az i\u00e7m\u0259mi\u015fdi, amma n\u0259d\u0259n bu adid\u0259n adi h\u0259yatla ya\u015famad\u0131; \u00f6z x\u0131rda sevincl\u0259riyl\u0259 dolu rahat, arxay\u0131n, t\u0259lat\u00fcms\u00fcz h\u0259yatla. N\u0259d\u0259n h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 b\u00f6y\u00fck niyy\u0259tl\u0259rin girovuna \u00e7evirdi.<\/p>\n

Deyirl\u0259r, \u00f6l\u00fcm qaba\u011f\u0131… (kim deyir? Kim \u00f6l\u00fcb sonra qay\u0131d\u0131b g\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259rini dan\u0131\u015f\u0131b ki… t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcf k\u0259p\u0259n\u0259yi d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc yad\u0131na), b\u0259li, deyirl\u0259r, \u00f6l\u00fcm qaba\u011f\u0131 insan\u0131n b\u0259sir\u0259t g\u00f6z\u00fc a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131r, vaxt \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcs\u00fc d\u0259yi\u015fir v\u0259 b\u00fct\u00fcn olub-ke\u00e7\u0259nl\u0259r bir an i\u00e7ind\u0259 kino lenti kimi g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcnd\u0259n \u00f6t\u00fcb ke\u00e7ir. \u00dc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc g\u00f6z anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131 q\u0259dim hind inanclar\u0131nda da var – ha\u00e7ansa oxumu\u015fdu bu bar\u0259d\u0259 kitablarda. Hind Allahlar\u0131ndan \u015e\u0131va \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc a\u00e7anda r\u0259qibini bax\u0131\u015f\u0131yla yand\u0131r\u0131b k\u00fcl\u0259 d\u00f6nd\u0259rir.<\/p>\n

K\u00fcr\u0259yimi zolaq-zolaq g\u00f6yn\u0259d\u0259n q\u0131rmanclar. B\u0259d\u0259nimin a\u011fr\u0131lar\u0131. Bu xatir\u0259d\u0259n qurtulmaq ist\u0259dim. \u00c7im-ya\u015f b\u0259d\u0259nimin \u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u0259si. Soyuqdan titr\u0259yirdim. Qa\u00e7maq… tez qa\u00e7maq, bu an\u0131lardan qa\u00e7\u0131b qurtarmaq.<\/p>\n

… Q\u00fcrub \u00e7a\u011f\u0131 d\u0259niz\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f s\u00fcrd\u00fcy\u00fcm \u00fcst\u00fc a\u00e7\u0131q ma\u015f\u0131n. Buludlar bad\u0131mcan r\u0259ngind\u0259dir… Q\u0259rib Ab\u015feron ax\u015fam\u0131n\u0131n k\u00f6vr\u0259k q\u00fcss\u0259si… K\u00fcl\u0259k yan\u0131mda oturan g\u00f6z\u00fc q\u0259m dolu q\u0131z\u0131n qumral sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131r, sa\u00e7lar yanaqlar\u0131m\u0131 d\u00f6y\u0259cl\u0259yir, a\u011fz\u0131m\u0131n i\u00e7in\u0259 dolur… \u018fn b\u00f6y\u00fck ist\u0259yim… ka\u015f bu yol he\u00e7 vaxt bitm\u0259sin, ka\u015f d\u0259niz uzaqla\u015fd\u0131qca uzaqla\u015fs\u0131n, ka\u015f gec\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259yinc\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259sin…<\/p>\n

Kimin misralar\u0131d\u0131r bu, bird\u0259n yad\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc: Uzun \u00f6mr\u00fcn sonunda, \u00fcmidsizlik an\u0131nda… G\u0259lib bu q\u0259fil sevinc…<\/p>\n

Nar\u0131n ya\u011f\u0131\u015f \u00e7is\u0259l\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131, damlalar aln\u0131ma, yanaqlar\u0131ma iyn\u0259-iyn\u0259 sanc\u0131l\u0131r, amma bu islanmaq xo\u015f idi, ba\u015f\u0131na \u0259nd\u0259ril\u0259n su kimi sop-soyuq deyildi, istiydi… \u0130sti ya\u011f\u0131\u015f? \u0130sti ya\u011f\u0131\u015f olurmu?<\/p>\n

Gec\u0259 bird\u0259n d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Ay \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131, b\u0259dirl\u0259nmi\u015f, dol\u011fun Ay, d\u0259nizl\u0259ri qabartd\u0131, axsaq k\u00fcl\u0259yi, – axsaq da k\u00fcl\u0259k olurmu? – axsaq k\u00fcl\u0259yi k\u0259m\u0259nd\u0259 sald\u0131… sonra buludlar Ay\u0131n qaba\u011f\u0131n\u0131 tutdu… Ay i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 it\u0259n kimi qumral sa\u00e7l\u0131 q\u0131z da qeyb oldu…<\/p>\n

Ay q\u0131z, ay q\u0131z\u0131… Somnambula. Bu adda bir italyan operas\u0131 da var, dey\u0259s\u0259n, – Rossini, Bellini, Donisetti, hans\u0131n\u0131nd\u0131r? Ay adam\u0131 – somnambula -ruslar onlara lunatik deyirl\u0259r.<\/p>\n

Allah, bu n\u0259 z\u00fcl\u00fcmd\u00fcr bel\u0259, \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcrs\u0259n \u00f6ld\u00fcr, daha bu i\u015fg\u0259nc\u0259 n\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259r\u0259kdir? \u00d6l\u00fcm\u0259 m\u0259hkum m\u0259hbus edam g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fc, saat\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259rk\u0259n, he\u00e7 olmasa kamerada havas\u0131zl\u0131qdan bo\u011fulmur. \u00abCanl\u0131 meyit\u00bb. Tolstoy. \u00d6l\u00fcl\u0259rin dirilm\u0259si. \u015eeyx N\u0259srullah. Mirz\u0259 C\u0259lil… Beynimd\u0259 an\u0131mlar\u0131n basabas\u0131, fikirl\u0259rin t\u00fcnl\u00fcy\u00fc… N\u0259 etm\u0259li? N\u0259 etm\u0259li! Lenin… \u00c7ern\u0131\u015fevski… He\u00e7 h\u0259nan\u0131n yeridi? \u00dczeyir b\u0259y… M\u0259\u015f\u0259di \u0130bad. Beynimi ba\u015fqa \u015feyl\u0259rl\u0259 qatmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m ki, d\u0259li olmay\u0131m.<\/p>\n

B\u0259lk\u0259, Xilas – d\u0259li olmaqd\u0131r?!<\/p>\n

\u015e\u00fcurun dumanlanmas\u0131, he\u00e7 n\u0259yi hiss etm\u0259m\u0259k, he\u00e7 n\u0259yi d\u0259rk etm\u0259m\u0259k… Adam \u00f6z ist\u0259yiyl\u0259 d\u0259li ola bil\u0259rmi? B\u0259lk\u0259, \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131rmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn (ayr\u0131 he\u00e7 n\u0259y\u0259 \u00fcmid yoxdur) n\u0259f\u0259sini k\u0259s\u0259s\u0259n, n\u0259f\u0259s almayasan.<\/p>\n

Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 an n\u0259f\u0259sini q\u0131sd\u0131, sonra, irad\u0259sind\u0259n as\u0131l\u0131 olmayaraq, k\u00f6ks\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc, n\u0259f\u0259sini d\u0259rdi.<\/p>\n

Niy\u0259 bu q\u0259bir darl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda m\u0259hz ha\u00e7ansa gec\u0259-g\u00fcnd\u00fcz m\u00fctali\u0259 etdiyi hind kitablar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr yad\u0131na. D\u00fcnyan\u0131 yaradan Braxma yumurtan\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 \u0259m\u0259l\u0259 g\u0259lib, amma \u015f\u00fcurunun g\u00fcc\u00fcyl\u0259 yumurtan\u0131 iki b\u00f6l\u00fcb, bir t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n s\u0259ma, o biri t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n yer \u0259m\u0259l\u0259 g\u0259lib. Bu l\u0259tif\u0259d\u0259 indi onu c\u0259lb ed\u0259n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259nin g\u00fcc\u00fcyl\u0259 n\u0259 is\u0259 d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259k, \u00fcst\u0259l\u0259m\u0259k fikri idi. B\u0259lk\u0259, o da zehninin, a\u011fl\u0131n\u0131n g\u00fcc\u00fcyl\u0259 xilas ola bildi. Amma nec\u0259? Yox, insan buna qadir deyil. \u00dcmid yaln\u0131z Allahad\u0131r.<\/p>\n

\u0130lahi, bir yol g\u00f6st\u0259r, ya xilas et, ya tez \u00f6ld\u00fcr. Xilasa g\u00fcman\u0131m yoxdu, m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259 ba\u015f vers\u0259, burdan \u00e7\u0131xa bils\u0259m, \u00f6mr\u00fcm boyu S\u0259nin xidm\u0259tind\u0259 duraram.<\/p>\n

Yen\u0259 d\u0259 bir vaxtlar alud\u0259 oldu\u011fu kitablar\u0131 xat\u0131rlad\u0131. Buddan\u0131n t\u0259limi yad\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, el\u0259 bil kims\u0259 s\u00f6zl\u0259ri birc\u0259-birc\u0259 diqt\u0259 edirdi ona. Budda deyir: \u00abAllahlara yalvarmay\u0131n. S\u0259ssizlikd\u0259n he\u00e7 n\u0259 ummay\u0131n, o n\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fa bilir, n\u0259 d\u0259 dinl\u0259y\u0259\u00bb.<\/p>\n

Dayan, dayan, dey\u0259s\u0259n, ax\u0131, Allah dil\u0259yim\u0259 m\u0259h\u0259l qoydu… Get-ged\u0259 daha \u00e7\u0259tin n\u0259f\u0259s al\u0131ram, bo\u011fuluram. Az qal\u0131r Sona. Sona? O q\u0131z\u0131n ad\u0131 Sona idi? Yox, ad\u0131 ayr\u0131 idi. N\u0259ydi, yada sala bilmir\u0259m.<\/p>\n

Bir az da d\u00f6z. Ayr\u0131 \u00e7ar\u0259n yoxdu. K\u0259f\u0259nin i\u00e7ind\u0259 n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r vurnuxursan – vurnux, \u00e7abalay\u0131rsan – \u00e7abala, xeyri yoxdu… B\u0259lk\u0259, Allah insafa g\u0259lib s\u0259ni tez \u00f6ld\u00fcrd\u00fc…<\/p>\n

Amma, b\u0259lk\u0259… b\u0259lk\u0259, yuxudu bu… Ham\u0131s\u0131 yuxudu, vahim\u0259li yuxu… Qarabasma. D\u0259d\u0259 Qorqud demi\u015f, yuxu da ki\u00e7ik \u00f6l\u00fcmd\u00fc ax\u0131…<\/p>\n

Yuxudumu, \u00f6l\u00fcmd\u00fcm\u00fc? G\u00f6zl\u0259rimi qapay\u0131ram. G\u00f6zl\u0259rim qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda sar\u0131, \u00e7\u0259rhay\u0131, ya\u015f\u0131l dair\u0259l\u0259r. Dair\u0259 i\u00e7ind\u0259 dair\u0259, g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, sonra uzaqla\u015f\u0131b itirl\u0259r. B\u0259lk\u0259, uzaq planetl\u0259rdir bu. B\u0259lk\u0259, oralara u\u00e7uram. U\u00e7uram, B\u0259lk\u0259… b\u0259l…<\/p>\n

\n

\u00a0\u0130K\u0130NC\u0130 F\u018fS\u0130L<\/p>\n

\n

YAMAN G\u00d6Z<\/p>\n

\n

\u201c\u00c7ox vaxt yaman g\u00f6z ba\u015fqas\u0131na a\u011f\u0131r t\u0259sir edir\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u0130bn Sina, \u00abT\u0259bi\u0259t haqq\u0131nda\u00bb<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cT\u0259x\u0259yy\u00fcl\u00fcn g\u00fcc\u00fc – x\u00fcsusi h\u0259ssasl\u0131qlar\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259 \u0259n \u00e7ox g\u00f6zl\u0259rd\u0259 \u0259ks olunur. Yaman g\u00f6z \u0259traf\u0131ndak\u0131 havaya da yoluxur v\u0259 zill\u0259ndiyi sa\u011flam adamlara x\u0259l\u0259l g\u0259tirir. Yaman g\u00f6z g\u00fczg\u00fcy\u0259 baxanda g\u00fczg\u00fc tutqunla\u015f\u0131r\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Y. \u015eprenger, Q. \u0130nstitoris,<\/p>\n

\u00a0XV \u0259srin xristian rahibl\u0259ri<\/p>\n

\n

A c\u0131dan ac\u0131 k\u00fcl\u0259k adam\u0131n iliyin\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yirdi. D\u00fcym\u0259l\u0259ri d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f, yaxas\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131q, yamaql\u0131, nimda\u015f penc\u0259yini az qala dart\u0131b \u0259ynind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xaracaqd\u0131 k\u00fcl\u0259k. Darvazadan h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259ki evl\u0259rinin qap\u0131s\u0131nacan iyirmi add\u0131md\u0131 – d\u00f6n\u0259 – d\u00f6n\u0259 saym\u0131\u015fd\u0131. K\u00fcl\u0259k k\u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259n vurdu\u011fundan, bu m\u0259saf\u0259ni – iyirmi add\u0131m\u0131 – h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259kind\u0259n d\u0259 tez q\u0259t ed\u0259 bil\u0259rdi… Q\u0259t ed\u0259c\u0259kdi. \u00dc\u015f\u00fcy\u0259-\u00fc\u015f\u00fcy\u0259, sazaqdan titr\u0259y\u0259 – titr\u0259y\u0259…<\/p>\n

Darvazadan evl\u0259rin\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r m\u0259saf\u0259ni niy\u0259 qa\u00e7a-qa\u00e7a ke\u00e7m\u0259sinin s\u0259b\u0259bini he\u00e7 k\u0259s bilmirdi, bir \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n, bir anas\u0131ndan, bir d\u0259 N\u0259sibd\u0259n ba\u015fqa. He\u00e7 atas\u0131 da bilmirdi, ona dem\u0259mi\u015fdil\u0259r ki, gedib m\u0259r\u0259k\u0259 qoparmas\u0131n. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 yuxar\u0131 m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259d\u0259ki qon\u015fular\u0131ndan hans\u0131sa p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n bunu g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, diqq\u0259t el\u0259mi\u015fdi, amma vecin\u0259 almam\u0131\u015fd\u0131, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 he\u00e7 kim gorm\u0259mi\u015fdi.<\/p>\n

Tez ev qap\u0131lar\u0131na \u00e7atmal\u0131yd\u0131, qap\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6y\u0259n kimi anas\u0131 t\u0259l\u0259sik qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7acaqd\u0131, ax\u0131 bilirdi… B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 art\u0131q a\u00e7m\u0131\u015fd\u0131, g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi.<\/p>\n

Qap\u0131lar\u0131na \u00e7atma\u011fa bir add\u0131m qalm\u0131\u015f sop-soyuq su ba\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131l\u0131b b\u00fct\u00fcn v\u00fccudunu islatd\u0131. Ba\u015f\u0131na endiril\u0259n suya al\u0131\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 olsa da, b\u0259d\u0259nini diksindirdi. Boynunun, k\u00fcr\u0259yinin, qollar\u0131n\u0131n, bil\u0259kl\u0259rinin h\u0259r h\u00fccr\u0259sin\u0259 iyn\u0259-iyn\u0259 batan saza\u011f\u0131 duydu. K\u00fcl\u0259kli havada su b\u0259d\u0259nini elektrik c\u0259r\u0259yan\u0131 kimi gizild\u0259tdi. \u018fli qap\u0131lar\u0131na d\u0259y\u0259n kimi bayaqdan qap\u0131 dal\u0131nda dayanan anas\u0131 onu i\u00e7\u0259ri \u00e7\u0259kdi.<\/p>\n

– Can bala, – dey\u0259 s\u0259kkiz ya\u015fl\u0131 \u00e7im ya\u015f o\u011flunu ba\u011fr\u0131na basd\u0131. – G\u00f6r\u00fcm balama z\u00fclm el\u0259y\u0259nl\u0259r bir udum suya h\u0259sr\u0259t qals\u0131n…<\/p>\n

Allah\u0131n ver g\u00fcn\u00fc, o\u011flu m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259n qay\u0131danda M\u0259nz\u0259r yuxar\u0131 m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259d\u0259ki ail\u0259y\u0259 qar\u011f\u0131\u015f edirdi. H\u0259r ikisi – \u018fhliman da, M\u0259nz\u0259r d\u0259 bilirdil\u0259r ki, suyu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259d\u0259n atan hans\u0131 idar\u0259nins\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fc Qas\u0131m\u0131n o\u011flu N\u0259sibdir.<\/p>\n

M\u0259nz\u0259r t\u0259l\u0259sik o\u011flunu soyundurdu. \u018fhliman anas\u0131n\u0131n h\u0259r g\u00fcn eyni saatda \u00fct\u00fcl\u0259yib haz\u0131r qoydu\u011fu quru paltarlar\u0131n\u0131 geydi, alt v\u0259 \u00fcst paltarlar\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fdi. \u018fh\u0259din i\u015fd\u0259n g\u0259lm\u0259yin\u0259 h\u0259l\u0259 iki-\u00fc\u00e7 saat vard\u0131, amma b\u0259rayi-ehtiyat, M\u0259nz\u0259r o\u011flunun ya\u015f paltarlar\u0131n\u0131 gizl\u0259tdi, gec\u0259 ham\u0131n\u0131 yuxuya ver\u0259nd\u0259n sonra p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lt\u0131yla qar\u011f\u0131\u015f ed\u0259 – ed\u0259 qurudub \u00fct\u00fcl\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi. El\u0259 \u0259caib qar\u011f\u0131\u015flar tap\u0131rd\u0131 ki… \u00abG\u00f6r\u00fcm balama z\u00fclm ed\u0259n qotur olsun, d\u0131rna\u011f\u0131 olmas\u0131n\u00bb.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 tir-tir titr\u0259yirdi.<\/p>\n

– G\u0259l otur, bala, g\u0259l otur, bu saatca x\u00f6r\u0259yini q\u0131zd\u0131racam.<\/p>\n

Ne\u00e7\u0259 ay bundan \u0259vv\u0259l Qas\u0131mgilin qulluq\u00e7ular\u0131 eyvanlar\u0131ndak\u0131 g\u00fcll\u0259ri sulayark\u0259n s\u0259rpic \u0259lind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 v\u0259 su h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259n ke\u00e7\u0259n \u018fhliman\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na t\u00f6k\u00fclm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Onun \u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131rt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 N\u0259sib d\u0259 e\u015fitmi\u015fdi v\u0259 bundan b\u00f6y\u00fck h\u0259zz alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u018fhlimanla N\u0259sib m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 bir sinifd\u0259 oxuyurdular. M\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259n atas\u0131n\u0131n ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131yla ev\u0259 daha tez \u00e7at\u0131r v\u0259 \u018fhliman\u0131n d\u0259rsd\u0259n g\u0259lm\u0259sini g\u00fcd\u00fcrd\u00fc ki, ba\u015f\u0131na bir l\u0259y\u0259n su \u0259nd\u0259rsin. B\u00fct\u00fcn keyf d\u0259 ondayd\u0131 ki, su k\u0259nara t\u00f6k\u00fclm\u0259sin, d\u00fcz \u018fhliman\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na axs\u0131n.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman \u0259vv\u0259l bunu t\u0259sad\u00fcf, sonra \u015fit zarafat bildi, sonrasa q\u0259sd\u0259n edildiyini anlad\u0131. Amma n\u0259 olsun, n\u0259 ed\u0259 bil\u0259rdi. \u00d6z\u00fcnd\u0259n qat – qat c\u00fcss\u0259li, g\u00fccl\u00fc, qolu zorlu, ad\u0131na ham\u0131n\u0131n qo\u00e7u dediyi, h\u0259m d\u0259 r\u0259is o\u011flu N\u0259sib\u0259 kim g\u00f6z\u00fcn \u00fcst\u0259 qa\u015f\u0131n var dey\u0259 bil\u0259rdi? Kim\u0259 \u015fikay\u0259t ed\u0259c\u0259kdi? Hans\u0131 m\u00fc\u0259llim onun s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 inanard\u0131, inansayd\u0131 bel\u0259, kim bu i\u015f\u0259 ba\u015f qo\u015fub pis d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k ist\u0259rdi? N\u0259sib b\u00fct\u00fcn m\u0259kt\u0259bin \u0259rk\u00f6y\u00fcn\u00fcyd\u00fc, h\u0259tta b\u0259z\u0259n m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259ri d\u0259 atas\u0131n\u0131n ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131na mindir\u0259rdi.<\/p>\n

M\u0259nz\u0259rin bir qorxusu vard\u0131 ki, birc\u0259 \u018fh\u0259d bilm\u0259sin. D\u0259lisoyun biridi, d\u00fc\u015f\u0259r s\u0259rxo\u015f vaxt\u0131na, r\u0259is-m\u0259is tan\u0131maz, ged\u0259r o g\u0259d\u0259\u00e7\u0259ni salar t\u0259piyinin alt\u0131na, tutub xuliqanl\u0131q \u00fcst\u0259 basarlar dama.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman\u0131n m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 ayamas\u0131n\u0131 da el\u0259 N\u0259sib qoymu\u015fdu – \u018fhriman. Hardasa oxuyubmu\u015f ki, \u018fhriman \u015e\u0259r allah\u0131d\u0131r. H\u0259tta m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259rd\u0259n b\u0259zil\u0259ri d\u0259 N\u0259sib\u0259 xo\u015f g\u0259lm\u0259kd\u0259n \u00f6tr\u00fc \u018fhlimana iri\u015f\u0259-iri\u015f\u0259 \u018fhriman deyirdil\u0259r.<\/p>\n

O vaxt k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259ri bir erm\u0259ni inqilab\u00e7\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 da\u015f\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131: Ara Qarda\u015fyan. Amma k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259nin ad\u0131 yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f l\u00f6vh\u0259l\u0259r k\u00f6hn\u0259lib oxunmaz olmu\u015fdu, ham\u0131 bura Ara Qar\u0131\u015fd\u0131ran k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259si deyirdi.<\/p>\n

B\u0259lk\u0259, oxudu\u011fu yegan\u0259 kitabdan \u018fhrimandan ba\u015fqa Xeyir Allah\u0131 H\u00f6rm\u00fczd\u00fcn d\u0259 ad\u0131n\u0131 bilmi\u015fdi v\u0259 \u018fhlimana: bax, s\u0259n \u018fhrimansan, m\u0259n H\u00f6rm\u00fczd -deyirdi.<\/p>\n

Bir d\u0259f\u0259 \u018fhliman\u0131 ma\u015f\u0131nlar\u0131na d\u0259v\u0259t etdi. Onda h\u0259l\u0259 bu su m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259si yoxuydusa da, \u018fhliman imtina etdi.<\/p>\n

-Ev\u0259 getmirik? G\u0259l ma\u015f\u0131nla ged\u0259k d\u0259…<\/p>\n

\u00c7ox t\u0259kid ed\u0259nd\u0259n sonra \u018fhliman ma\u015f\u0131na mindi. N\u0259sib s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcy\u0259:<\/p>\n

-S\u00fcr Ke\u015fl\u0259y\u0259, – dedi.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259:<\/p>\n

-Ke\u015fl\u0259d\u0259 n\u0259 i\u015fimiz var? – dey\u0259 soru\u015fdu<\/p>\n

-G\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n.<\/p>\n

Ke\u015fl\u0259 Ara Qar\u0131\u015fd\u0131ran k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259sind\u0259n tam \u0259ks istiqam\u0259td\u0259 idi, bir \u015f\u0259h\u0259r boyda aralar\u0131 vard\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ke\u015fl\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7atar-\u00e7atmaz N\u0259sib s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcy\u0259:<\/p>\n

– Saxla, – dedi.<\/p>\n

Ma\u015f\u0131n dayand\u0131<\/p>\n

-D\u00fc\u015f, s\u0259n\u0259 s\u00f6z dey\u0259c\u0259m.<\/p>\n

D\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcl\u0259r.<\/p>\n

-Bura g\u0259l.<\/p>\n

G\u0259ldi, ma\u015f\u0131ndan uzaqla\u015fd\u0131lar. Bird\u0259n N\u0259sib t\u0259l\u0259sik ma\u015f\u0131na t\u0259r\u0259f getdi, mindi, qap\u0131n\u0131 ba\u011flay\u0131b, d\u00fcym\u0259ni basd\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman\u0131n cibind\u0259 bir q\u0259pik yox idi v\u0259 N\u0259sib bunu bilirdi.<\/p>\n

Ma\u015f\u0131n h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 \u018fhliman \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259d\u0259n N\u0259sibin ona bax\u0131b di\u015fl\u0259rini a\u011fartd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

Onda da soyuq bir g\u00fcnd\u00fc, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 N\u0259sib bu oyunu \u00e7\u0131xartmaq\u00e7\u00fcn q\u0259sd\u0259n bel\u0259 soyuq g\u00fcn se\u00e7mi\u015fdi.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman payi-piyada b\u00fct\u00fcn \u015f\u0259h\u0259ri ke\u00e7ib evl\u0259rin\u0259 \u00e7atanda \u015f\u0259r qar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Ax\u015fam q\u0131zd\u0131rmas\u0131 qalxd\u0131. Soyuq d\u0259ymi\u015fdi, s\u0259t\u0259lc\u0259m olmu\u015fdu. On g\u00fcn x\u0259st\u0259 yatd\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u00c7\u00f6l qap\u0131s\u0131 taqq\u0131lt\u0131yla a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131. \u018fh\u0259d i\u00e7\u0259ri girdi – \u00fcz-g\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n z\u0259hrimar ya\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. S\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc d\u0259 el\u0259 z\u0259hirmarla ba\u015flad\u0131:<\/p>\n

-Yem\u0259y\u0259 n\u0259 z\u0259hirmar\u0131n var?<\/p>\n

-Bu saat qay\u011fanaq bi\u015firim, bilm\u0259dim bel\u0259 tez g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n.<\/p>\n

-Qay\u011fana\u011f\u0131 apar gorbagor d\u0259d\u0259nin q\u0259brin\u0259 qoy. Tez g\u0259ldim, gec g\u0259ldim, s\u0259nin n\u0259 borcuna.<\/p>\n

Gedib dolab\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131.<\/p>\n

-Araq han\u0131?<\/p>\n

-D\u00fcn\u0259n i\u00e7m\u0259din, ba\u015f\u0131na d\u00f6n\u00fcm?<\/p>\n

-M\u0259n, b\u0259y\u0259m, bilmir\u0259m n\u0259 i\u00e7mi\u015f\u0259m, n\u0259 i\u00e7m\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m, a\u011fl\u0131m ba\u015f\u0131mdan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b deyirs\u0259n, – arvad\u0131na t\u0259rs bir \u015fapalaq \u00e7\u0259kdi.<\/p>\n

-\u0130tin q\u0131z\u0131, m\u0259n ged\u0259nd\u0259n sonra ara\u011f\u0131 t\u00f6k\u00fcb zaxoda, \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259sini d\u0259 at\u0131b ki, duyuq d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259yim.<\/p>\n

\u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, d\u00fcn\u0259n \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259ni dibin\u0259c\u0259n i\u00e7diyi yad\u0131ndayd\u0131. Cibind\u0259n \u0259zik-\u00fcz\u00fck pullar \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b \u018fhlimana uzatd\u0131.<\/p>\n

-Get Sad\u0131qdan bir araq al, – dedi, \u018fhliman\u0131n yem\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 qayqana\u011f\u0131 \u00f6z qaba\u011f\u0131na \u00e7\u0259kdi. – N\u0259 bax\u0131rsan bu z\u0259hrimara, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck, anan indi d\u0259 bel\u0259 c\u00fcc\u0259 – plovdan bi\u015firib s\u0259nin d\u0259 qaba\u011f\u0131na qoyacaq dana, zal\u0131m\u0131n q\u0131z\u0131 bu z\u0259hrimara bir \u00e7imdik duz da s\u0259pm\u0259yib.<\/p>\n

\u018flini duza uzadanda bo\u015fqaba d\u0259ydi, bo\u015fqab yer\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb \u00e7ilik-\u00e7ilik oldu, qayqanaq yer\u0259 da\u011f\u0131ld\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u018fh\u0259d indi d\u0259 o\u011fluna ya\u011fl\u0131 bir qapaz vurdu:<\/p>\n

-N\u0259 pis g\u00f6z\u00fcn var, itin balas\u0131, tez ol itil g\u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n.<\/p>\n

Montyor i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259n \u018fh\u0259di bu g\u00fcn s\u0259rxo\u015f olub q\u0259za t\u00f6r\u0259tdiyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn n\u00f6vb\u0259ti i\u015find\u0259n qovmu\u015fdular. Onsuz da z\u0259h\u0259r tulu\u011fu olan ki\u015fi ac\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131xma\u011fa adam axtar\u0131rd\u0131. Dilsiz-a\u011f\u0131zs\u0131z ail\u0259 \u00fczvl\u0259rind\u0259n m\u00fcnasib h\u0259d\u0259fi harda tapacaqd\u0131.<\/p>\n

M\u0259nz\u0259r:<\/p>\n

– \u0130ndi d\u00fckan ba\u011fl\u0131 olar, – dedi, – qoy yar\u0131m saatdan sonra getsin, bu saat ikiniz\u0259 d\u0259 qayqanaq bi\u015firim.<\/p>\n

-M\u0259n\u0259 moiz\u0259 oxuma, s\u00fcr\u00fck burdan.<\/p>\n

Sonra g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc o\u011fluna a\u011fartd\u0131:<\/p>\n

-Kim\u0259 deyir\u0259m, becid ol, q\u0131r\u0131\u015fmal.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman penc\u0259yini \u00e7iynin\u0259 at\u0131b h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131, qeyri-ixtiyar\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259nin eyvan\u0131na baxd\u0131. Penc\u0259r\u0259 kip ba\u011fl\u0131yd\u0131. N\u0259sibin x\u0259b\u0259ri olsayd\u0131 zarafat\u0131ndan qalmazd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Yen\u0259 d\u0259 v\u0259rdi\u015fi \u00fczr\u0259 h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259n qa\u00e7a-qa\u00e7a ke\u00e7di. H\u0259y\u0259tin o tay bu tay\u0131nda i\u00e7ind\u0259 s\u0131\u00e7anlar, s\u0131\u00e7ovullar oyna\u015fan zibil qutular\u0131 d\u00fcz\u00fclm\u00fc\u015fdu, h\u0259y\u0259tin ortas\u0131ndan lehim ax\u0131rd\u0131. Ha\u00e7ansa bu h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259 ki\u00e7icik t\u0259miz sah\u0259 tap\u0131b qon\u015fu u\u015faqlar\u0131yla futbol oynayard\u0131lar. \u0130ndi N\u0259sibin ucbat\u0131ndan daha futbol da oynam\u0131rd\u0131lar.<\/p>\n

D\u00fckan ba\u011fl\u0131yd\u0131. Qap\u0131s\u0131nda \u00abfasil\u0259\u00bb yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Yar\u0131m saat g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259li idi. \u018fli bo\u015f qay\u0131tsayd\u0131, a\u011f\u0131na-bozuna baxmayan d\u0259d\u0259si k\u00f6t\u0259kl\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi. Son d\u0259f\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcn \u0259vv\u0259l d\u00f6ym\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc \u018fhliman\u0131. \u018fliyl\u0259 vururdu, \u0259li yorulanda me\u015fin k\u0259m\u0259rini a\u00e7\u0131b q\u0131rmanclama\u011fa ba\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131. Q\u0131rmanclar\u0131n zolaq-zolaq g\u00f6yn\u0259rtisi h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 \u018fhliman\u0131n k\u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259n ke\u00e7m\u0259mi\u015fdi.<\/p>\n

K\u00fcl\u0259k el\u0259 bil bir az da \u015fidd\u0259tl\u0259nmi\u015fdi, soyuqdan u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n di\u015fi-di\u015fin\u0259 d\u0259yirdi. Darvazan\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131nda N\u0259sibgilin ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Bir azdan x\u0259z yaxal\u0131\u011f\u0131 olan qal\u0131n, isti paltoda N\u0259sib g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc, \u015fofer \u0259lind\u0259n tutmu\u015fdu. \u018fhliman k\u0259nara \u00e7\u0259kildi ki, N\u0259sib onu g\u00f6rm\u0259sin. Bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 toqqu\u015fsayd\u0131 N\u0259sib onu istehzayla s\u00fcz\u0259c\u0259kdi, b\u0259lk\u0259, bir hoqqa da \u00e7\u0131xaracaqd\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman par-par par\u0131ldayan qara ma\u015f\u0131na bax\u0131rd\u0131. N\u0259sibin qara x\u0259z yaxal\u0131ql\u0131 paltosuna, qulaql\u0131 papa\u011f\u0131na baxd\u0131qca, el\u0259 bil \u00f6z yuxa geyimi i\u00e7ind\u0259 bir az da \u00fc\u015f\u00fcy\u00fcrd\u00fc. Bir an bu x\u0259zli paltonun, qulaql\u0131 papa\u011f\u0131n, me\u015fin \u0259lc\u0259kl\u0259rin, yun \u015falvar\u0131n istisini t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr etdi v\u0259 daha da \u00fc\u015f\u00fcd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

N\u0259sib saymazyana \u0259trafa g\u00f6z g\u0259zdirib – y\u0259ni g\u00f6r\u00fcrs\u00fcz d\u0259 m\u0259ni – \u015foferin a\u00e7d\u0131\u011f\u0131 qap\u0131dan ma\u015f\u0131na oturdu.<\/p>\n

Ma\u015f\u0131n yerind\u0259n t\u0259rp\u0259ndi. \u018fhliman ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131n ard\u0131nca ya\u015f asfaltda q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 lent kimi s\u00fcr\u00fcn\u0259n arxa faralar\u0131n i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131na bax\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Q\u0259fl\u0259t\u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck s\u00fcr\u0259tl\u0259 tind\u0259n burulan alaba\u015f qara ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qaba\u011f\u0131na qat\u0131b xeyli s\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc, divara \u00e7\u0131rpd\u0131. Bir-birin\u0259 d\u0259y\u0259n metal\u0131n t\u00fck\u00fcrp\u0259rdici x\u0131r\u00e7\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131 e\u015fidildi. Qara ma\u015f\u0131n x\u0131nc\u0131m-x\u0131nc\u0131m olmu\u015f, qarmon kimi s\u0131x\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

K\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259kil\u0259r y\u00fcy\u00fcr\u00fcb birt\u0259h\u0259r ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131n p\u0259r\u00e7im olmu\u015f dal qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131lar, \u00fcz-g\u00f6z\u00fc qan h\u00f6rr\u0259sind\u0259n tan\u0131nmaz olmu\u015f N\u0259sibin c\u0259s\u0259dini \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131lar.<\/p>\n

\n

\u00a0\u00dc\u00c7\u00dcNC\u00dc F\u018fS\u0130L<\/p>\n

\n

\u015eEYX N\u018fSRULLA D\u00dcZ DEY\u0130RM\u0130\u015e<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cH\u0259yat haqq\u0131nda n\u0259 bilirsiniz ki, \u00f6l\u00fcm haqq\u0131nda da n\u0259s\u0259 bil\u0259siz\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0KONFUTS\u0130<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cM\u0259\u015fh\u0259di-m\u00fcq\u0259dd\u0259sd\u0259 bir abid peyda olub, bunun ismi-\u015f\u0259rifi \u015eeyx N\u0259srullahd\u0131r. Q\u0259bristana \u0259hli q\u00fcb\u00fcr ziyar\u0259tin\u0259 g\u0259lib, ba\u015flay\u0131b bir dua oxuma\u011fa v\u0259 sonra uca s\u0259sl\u0259 deyib: Durun aya\u011fa, ey Allah\u0131n m\u00f6min b\u0259nd\u0259l\u0259ri. Bu s\u0259si e\u015fitc\u0259k c\u0259mi \u00f6l\u00fcl\u0259r Allah\u0131n q\u00fcdr\u0259til\u0259 bir h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259ldil\u0259r\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0M. C. M\u018fMM\u018fDQULUZAD\u018f, \u00ab\u00d6L\u00dcL\u018fR\u00bb<\/p>\n

\n

N \u0259srulla v\u0259 Fazil q\u0259brin \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259ki son iki k\u00fcr\u0259klik torpa\u011f\u0131 da k\u0259nara atd\u0131lar. \u0130ndi m\u0259zar\u0131n d\u0259rinliyiyl\u0259 yer \u00fcz\u00fc aras\u0131nda yaln\u0131z iki sal da\u015f qal\u0131rd\u0131. N\u0259srulla 50 – 55 ya\u015flar\u0131nda q\u0259birqazand\u0131. Saqqal saxlam\u0131rd\u0131, amma kim bilir ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcnd\u0259n b\u0259ri \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc q\u0131rxmad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan b\u00fct\u00fcn sif\u0259tini, bo\u011faz\u0131n\u0131 a\u011f t\u00fckl\u0259r tikan – tikan basm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Qal\u0131n qa\u015flar\u0131 qap-qarayd\u0131.<\/p>\n

25-26 ya\u015flar\u0131nda Fazil azca aral\u0131da dayanm\u0131\u015f alaba\u015f\u0131n s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcs\u00fcyd\u00fc, \u00e7\u0259limsiz bir o\u011fland\u0131, palaz qulaqlar\u0131, sivri burnu vard\u0131, \u00e7ox ar\u0131qd\u0131, ordu – orduna yap\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. N\u0259srulla beli yer\u0259 qoyub k\u00f6ks\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

-Of, k\u0259l\u0259yimiz k\u0259sildi, – dedi, – bir hovur dincimizi alaq.<\/p>\n

S\u00fcrt\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f, qaras\u0131ndan a\u011f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015f \u00e7antas\u0131ndan q\u0259zet g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb yer\u0259 s\u0259rdi, \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 iki \u00e7apma st\u0259kan v\u0259 kolbasa d\u00fczd\u00fc, cib b\u0131\u00e7a\u011f\u0131yla kolbasan\u0131 do\u011frama\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n

-Qaqa\u015f, – dedi, – g\u0259tir g\u00f6r\u0259k o aslan s\u00fcd\u00fcn\u00fc.<\/p>\n

Fazil \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259si ya\u015f\u0131la \u00e7alan yar\u0131mlitrlik araq butulkas\u0131n\u0131 ma\u015f\u0131ndan g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb g\u0259tirdi.<\/p>\n

N\u0259srulla:<\/p>\n

-S\u00fcz, – dedi.<\/p>\n

Fazil:<\/p>\n

-Day-day, b\u0259lk\u0259, i\u015fimizi qurtar\u0131b sonra i\u00e7\u0259k, – dedi.<\/p>\n

-Yox, – dedi N\u0259srulla, – s\u0259n cavansan, bel\u0259 \u015feyl\u0259ri bilm\u0259zs\u0259n. Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131n t\u00fck\u00fc san\u0131 q\u0259bir a\u00e7m\u0131\u015fam, – qeyri-ixtiyari \u0259lini daz ba\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0259kdi. – Meyiti gorbagor etm\u0259kd\u0259n qabaq g\u0259r\u0259k m\u00f6hk\u0259m horradasan.<\/p>\n

Fazil:<\/p>\n

– Day – day, \u00e7ox meyit \u00e7\u0131xarm\u0131san q\u0259bird\u0259n?<\/p>\n

– Oxartana… Yax\u015f\u0131, vur g\u00f6r\u0259k. \u00d6l\u00fcl\u0259r\u0259 r\u0259hm\u0259t, diril\u0259r\u0259 cansa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131. Can\u0131m\u0131z – ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131z sa\u011f olsun.<\/p>\n

\u015e\u0259r qar\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

N\u0259srulla cibind\u0259n e\u015fm\u0259 papiros \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b b\u00fckd\u00fc, kibritl\u0259 odlad\u0131, bir qullab al\u0131b Fazil\u0259 uzatd\u0131.<\/p>\n

-Al, bir qullab da s\u0259n al.<\/p>\n

-N\u00f6\u015f\u00fcn?<\/p>\n

-N\u00f6\u015f\u00fcn ki, laz\u0131md\u0131.<\/p>\n

Fazil bir qullab al\u0131b:<\/p>\n

-N\u0259\u015f\u0259d\u00fc? – dey\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259r ald\u0131.<\/p>\n

-B\u0259li, araqnan n\u0259\u015f\u0259nin \u00f6zg\u0259 keyfi var, begem bilmird\u00fcn?<\/p>\n

Fazil bir qullab da al\u0131b \u00e7e\u00e7\u0259di.<\/p>\n

N\u0259srulla:<\/p>\n

-Ver bura g\u00f6r\u00fcm, – dedi, – besind\u00fc…<\/p>\n

Fazil:<\/p>\n

– Day- day, \u00e7atacay\u0131q? – dedi.<\/p>\n

-\u00c7atacay\u0131q, lap o yana da ke\u00e7\u0259c\u0259yik. \u00c7ap\u0131q 9 – da g\u0259l\u0259sidi, iki saat\u0131m\u0131z var, \u0259lb\u0259tt\u0259kin \u00e7atar\u0131q.<\/p>\n

-Day-day, allahhaqq\u0131\u00e7\u0131n qanm\u0131ram, bu meyit \u00c7ap\u0131\u011f\u0131n n\u0259yin\u0259 g\u0259r\u0259kdi?.<\/p>\n

-G\u00f6y\u00e7ayl\u0131san?<\/p>\n

-Hardan bild\u00fcn?<\/p>\n

-G\u00f6y\u00e7ayl\u0131lar allahhaqq\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn deyirl\u0259r. Qo\u015fumuz g\u00f6y\u00e7ayl\u0131yd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Fazil:<\/p>\n

– Anam g\u00f6y\u00e7ayl\u0131d\u0131, – dedi, – atam bak\u0131l\u0131.<\/p>\n

-Sa\u011fd\u0131lar?<\/p>\n

-H\u0259ri<\/p>\n

-Allah saxlas\u0131n.<\/p>\n

-Day-day, dem\u0259din ax\u0131, bu meyit \u00c7ap\u0131\u011f\u0131n n\u0259yin\u0259 laz\u0131md\u0131?<\/p>\n

-Onu bir xudav\u0259ndi – al\u0259m bil\u0259r. \u018fstaf\u00fcrullah. Bir d\u0259 \u00c7ap\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n alay\u0131 he\u00e7 k\u0259s bilm\u0259z. S\u00fcz g\u00f6r\u0259k. Albinos n\u0259di e\u015fitmis\u0259n?<\/p>\n

-Yox, kimdi, ingilisdi?<\/p>\n

– Avam ki, avam… Albinos bizim dild\u0259 sar\u0131\u015fqa adamlara deyirl\u0259r d\u0259, h\u0259r yeri sap-sar\u0131 olur onlar\u0131n e – sa\u00e7\u0131-saqqal\u0131, qa\u015f\u0131, g\u00f6z\u00fc.<\/p>\n

-N\u0259 olsun?<\/p>\n

– Dem\u0259 yapon aliml\u0259ri tap\u0131b ki, bu sar\u0131\u015fqa adamlar\u0131n t\u00fck\u00fc d\u0259, s\u00fcm\u00fcy\u00fc d\u0259 d\u0259rmand\u0131, odu ki, onlar xosumvay olanda qohumlar\u0131yla dil tap\u0131b s\u00f6vdala\u015f\u0131rlar. \u018fvv\u0259l – \u0259vv\u0259l kamal – \u0259d\u0259bl\u0259 basd\u0131r\u0131rlar \u00f6l\u00fcl\u0259rini, sora da x\u0259lv\u0259tc\u0259 q\u0259bird\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b sat\u0131rlar xaric\u0259.<\/p>\n

Fazilin a\u011fz\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131q qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131:<\/p>\n

– G\u00f6r e, d\u00fcnyada i\u015fl\u0259r var ki, he\u00e7 \u015feytan\u0131n a\u011fl\u0131na g\u0259lm\u0259z. Deyirs\u0259n y\u0259ni bu \u00c7ap\u0131q da yaponlarla \u0259lbird\u00fc.<\/p>\n

N\u0259srulla ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 bulad\u0131:<\/p>\n

– Onu dey\u0259 bilm\u0259r\u0259m, m\u0259n\u0259 at\u00e7et verm\u0259yib ki… Deyib flank\u0259si q\u0259brd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xart, haqq\u0131n\u0131 al. V\u0259ss\u0259lam. Neynir bu meyiti, \u00f6z i\u015fid\u00fc, n\u0259 borcuma?<\/p>\n

St\u0259kan\u0131 qald\u0131r\u0131b tost dedi:<\/p>\n

-\u00d6l\u00fcb q\u0259bird\u0259 rahat yatmaq da halva deyil e. Yax\u015f\u0131, i\u00e7\u0259k o sa\u011fl\u0131\u011fa ki, \u00f6l\u00fcb ged\u0259nd\u0259n sonra he\u00e7 k\u0259s bizi gorbagor el\u0259m\u0259sin…<\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7dil\u0259r.<\/p>\n

Alatoranl\u0131q \u0259traf\u0131 h\u0259zin r\u0259ngl\u0259r\u0259 boyay\u0131rd\u0131, bu fonda q\u0259bir da\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n qara siluetl\u0259ri ayd\u0131n se\u00e7ilirdi.<\/p>\n

N\u0259srulla a\u015fa\u011f\u0131da haran\u0131sa g\u00f6st\u0259rib soru\u015fdu:<\/p>\n

– Ora bilirs\u0259n haradu?<\/p>\n

– G\u00f6ld\u00fc d\u0259, day- day.<\/p>\n

– H\u0259l\u0259m – m\u0259l\u0259m g\u00f6l d\u00f6y\u00fcl e… Qanl\u0131 g\u00f6ld\u00fc. B\u0259s bilirs\u0259n ora n\u00f6\u015f\u00fcn qanl\u0131 g\u00f6l deyibl\u0259r?<\/p>\n

– Yox, n\u0259 bilim.<\/p>\n

– Otuzuncu ill\u0259rd\u0259 GPU adamlar\u0131 g\u00fcll\u0259l\u0259yib bu g\u00f6l\u0259 at\u0131rm\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n

– GPU kimdi, day-day, o da yapondu?<\/p>\n

– \u00c7\u00fc\u015fka ki \u00e7\u00fc\u015fka… \u018f.. s\u0259n lap g\u00f6rk\u0259zm\u0259s\u0259nmi\u015f ki… GPU bilmirs\u0259n? \u00c7eka da, enkivede…<\/p>\n

Fazil madd\u0131m – madd\u0131m bax\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

– Qaqa\u015f, incim\u0259, lap bisavads\u0131zsan e… T\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259sizlik idar\u0259si demirl\u0259r? O vaxtlar bel\u0259n\u00e7iyn\u0259 adlan\u0131rm\u0131\u015f da. Qan el\u0259yirmi\u015fl\u0259r, \u018fta\u011fa c\u0259ddi. G\u00fcll\u0259l\u0259ri qurtaranda adamlar\u0131n \u0259lin-qolun ba\u011flay\u0131b boyunlar\u0131na ipl\u0259 da\u015f sal\u0131b diri-diri at\u0131rlarm\u0131\u015f g\u00f6l\u0259.<\/p>\n

-Vay anas\u0131n\u0131…<\/p>\n

N\u0259srulla bir qullab da vurdu.<\/p>\n

-B\u0259li, cavan o\u011flan, bel\u0259 vaxtlar da olub e… \u015e\u00fck\u00fcr bu g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcz\u0259…<\/p>\n

-B\u0259 s\u0259n hardan bilirs\u0259n bular\u0131?<\/p>\n

-D\u0259d\u0259m dan\u0131\u015fard\u0131.<\/p>\n

-D\u0259d\u0259n d\u0259 q\u0259birqazan olub?<\/p>\n

-D\u0259d\u0259m d\u0259, babam da. B\u00fct\u00fcn \u0259bav\u00fc – \u0259cdad\u0131m\u0131z binayi – q\u0259dimd\u0259n bu q\u0259bristanl\u0131qda \u00f6m\u00fcr s\u00fcr\u00fcb. Babam mollal\u0131q da ed\u0259rdi, amma sovetin vaxt\u0131nda qorxdu, oldu q\u0259birqazan, h\u0259rd\u0259n gizlind\u0259 yasin oxuyard\u0131. Yax\u015f\u0131 s\u0259si vard\u0131. S\u00fcz g\u00f6r\u0259k.<\/p>\n

-B\u0259lk\u0259m, b\u0259sd\u00fc? M\u0259n ax\u0131, h\u0259l\u0259 g\u0259r\u0259k ma\u015f\u0131n s\u00fcr\u0259m, meyiti aparam.<\/p>\n

-Dar\u0131xma, nec\u0259 ki, laz\u0131mdu el\u0259n\u00e7iyn\u0259 aparacaqsan \u00c7ap\u0131q dey\u0259n yer\u0259..<\/p>\n

– O biri meyitl\u0259ri d\u0259 \u00c7ap\u0131\u011f\u0131n s\u00f6z\u00fcyl\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xarm\u0131san q\u0259bird\u0259n?<\/p>\n

-Yox, h\u0259r\u0259sinin bir zakaz\u00e7iki vard\u0131. Eh, ay qaqa\u015f, m\u0259n bildiyimi, g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fc dan\u0131\u015fsam, t\u00fck\u00fcn biz – biz olar.<\/p>\n

Ara\u011f\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0259kib \u00abpapirosdan\u00bb bir q\u00fcllab da vurdu.<\/p>\n

-Dey\u0259c\u0259m, inanmazsan. H\u0259r c\u00fcm\u0259 g\u00fcn\u00fc cinl\u0259r bu Qanl\u0131 g\u00f6l\u00fcn yan\u0131nda bir m\u0259r\u0259k\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131rlar, g\u0259l g\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n.<\/p>\n

Fazilin h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 a\u011fz\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131q qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131:<\/p>\n

-Neynill\u0259r ki?<\/p>\n

-Neyniy\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r, \u00e7al\u0131b – oynay\u0131rlar. \u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259 he\u00e7 bizim yerin havalar\u0131na ox\u015fam\u0131r \u00e7ald\u0131qlar\u0131. Bir – iki d\u0259f\u0259 m\u0259ni d\u0259 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131blar, getm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m, bir d\u0259f\u0259 uzaqdan durub baxd\u0131m, g\u00f6r\u00fcm ax\u0131 bunlar n\u0259 oyun \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131r. H\u0259ngam\u0259ymi\u015f, \u0259\u015fi, dem\u0259kl\u0259 olmur… Amma m\u0259nim n\u0259 borcuma, getm\u0259dim, n\u0259 i\u015fim var onlar\u0131n m\u0259clisind\u0259 ki, h\u00f6k\u00fcm\u0259t\u0259 \u00e7u\u011fullas\u0131nlar, i\u015fd\u0259n qovdursunlar m\u0259ni…<\/p>\n

Fazilin g\u00f6zl\u0259ri b\u0259r\u0259lib az qala h\u0259d\u0259q\u0259sind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xas\u0131yd\u0131, ba\u015f\u0131 get- ged\u0259 dumanlan\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

O biri t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc ki, vaxt ke\u00e7ir, bir azdan \u00c7ap\u0131q g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k, dediyini etm\u0259diyimizi g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259k, qazanc\u0131m\u0131z \u0259ld\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xacaq. Z\u0259if bir t\u0259\u015f\u0259bb\u00fcs etdi:<\/p>\n

-Day-day, b\u0259lk\u0259, a\u00e7aq q\u0259bri?<\/p>\n

-Hara t\u0259l\u0259sirs\u0259n e, el\u0259 bilirs\u0259n, meyit ordan qa\u00e7acaq?<\/p>\n

-Yox, deyir\u0259m \u00c7ap\u0131q g\u0259l\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r g\u00f6r\u0259k i\u015fimizi, ax\u0131 dedi, q\u0259bri onun yan\u0131nda a\u00e7mayaq.<\/p>\n

-Yax\u015f\u0131, s\u0259n dey\u0259n olsun, bunu da i\u00e7\u0259k, ba\u015flayaq i\u015fimiz\u0259. Bunu da vuraq … \u00f6l\u00fcl\u0259rin sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131na. \u00c7\u00f6r\u0259yimiz onlardan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7dil\u0259r. Qaqa\u015f\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131 tamam dumanlanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, g\u00f6zl\u0259ri ax\u0131rd\u0131…<\/p>\n

N\u0259srulla el\u0259 bil he\u00e7 n\u0259 i\u00e7m\u0259mi\u015fdi, \u00e7\u0259km\u0259mi\u015fdi. Durub q\u0259bir \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259ki da\u015f\u0131n bir t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n yap\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

-Tut g\u00f6r\u00fcm o biri ucundan. Qovraq ol \u0259ld\u0259n.<\/p>\n

-Ya Allah, – g\u00fcc\u0259nib bir h\u0259ml\u0259yl\u0259 sal da\u015f\u0131 qald\u0131rd\u0131lar. N\u0259srulla \u00e7irkli q\u0131r\u0131\u015f-q\u0131r\u0131\u015f d\u0259smal\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b boynunun, aln\u0131n\u0131n t\u0259rini sildi.<\/p>\n

-H\u0259, qaqa\u015f, g\u00fcc ver g\u00f6r\u00fcm.<\/p>\n

\u0130kinci da\u015f\u0131 da qald\u0131rd\u0131lar, q\u0131ra\u011fa qoydular.<\/p>\n

N\u0259srulla n\u0259f\u0259sini d\u0259rib:<\/p>\n

– \u018flli qram\u0131m\u0131z qal\u0131b, onu da gill\u0259d\u0259k, – dedi, – meyiti sonra \u00e7\u0131xarar\u0131q.<\/p>\n

N\u0259srulla arxas\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131q m\u0259zara t\u0259r\u0259f oturmu\u015fdu, ara\u011f\u0131 st\u0259kanlara \u00f6z\u00fc s\u00fczd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

-G\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m yax\u015f\u0131, yeyib-i\u00e7\u0259n c\u0259yils\u0259n, xo\u015fum g\u0259ldi s\u0259nn\u0259n, – dedi, – i\u00e7ir\u0259m s\u0259nin sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131na.<\/p>\n

St\u0259kan\u0131 a\u011fz\u0131na yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131randa Fazilin sif\u0259tind\u0259 d\u0259h\u015f\u0259t ifad\u0259sini g\u00f6rd\u00fc. St\u0259kan Fazilin \u0259lind\u0259n d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, araq q\u0259zetin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 da\u011f\u0131ld\u0131, q\u0259zet s\u0259hif\u0259si ya\u015f olub qarald\u0131.<\/p>\n

-N\u0259di? – N\u0259srulla Fazil\u0259 baxd\u0131<\/p>\n

-o… o… ra… bax…<\/p>\n

N\u0259srulla ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7evirib q\u0259br\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f baxd\u0131.<\/p>\n

A\u011f k\u0259f\u0259n i\u00e7ind\u0259 \u00e7abalayan meyit q\u0259bird\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Fazil d\u0259li kimi yerind\u0259n s\u0131\u00e7ray\u0131b ma\u015fina t\u0259r\u0259f qa\u00e7d\u0131, aya\u011f\u0131 b\u00fcdr\u0259di, y\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131, durdu, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc bir t\u0259h\u0259r alaba\u015fa \u00e7atd\u0131r\u0131b motoru i\u015f\u0259 sald\u0131, ma\u015f\u0131n h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259lib an\u0131nda uzaqla\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

N\u0259srulla ara\u011f\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0259kib q\u0259mli-q\u0259mli g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcnd\u00fc, \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259, ya Allah bilir kim\u0259s\u0259:<\/p>\n

-U\u015faq ki, u\u015faq, – dedi, – guya he\u00e7 \u00f6mr\u00fcnd\u0259 xortdayan \u00f6l\u00fc g\u00f6rm\u0259yib.<\/p>\n

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M\u00dc\u018fLL\u0130FD\u018fN:<\/p>\n

\n

Diri-diri basd\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f \u00abmeyiti\u00bb \u00f6l\u00fc bilib m\u0259zardan \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131lmas\u0131n\u0131n m\u00fcxt\u0259lif s\u0259b\u0259bl\u0259ri ola bil\u0259r. M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259n, tutal\u0131m, q\u0259bir yerini ba\u015fqas\u0131na sat\u0131blar, bu sahibsiz meyiti d\u0259 ma\u015f\u0131nla apar\u0131b k\u00fcr\u0259d\u0259 yand\u0131racaqlar.<\/p>\n

Yaxud h\u0259l\u0259 sa\u011flam qalm\u0131\u015f orqanlar\u0131n\u0131 satmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, ya q\u0131z\u0131l di\u015fl\u0259rini \u00e7\u0131xarmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bu \u0259m\u0259liyyata qur\u015fan\u0131blar. B\u0259lk\u0259, hans\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259nis\u0259 dirisiyl\u0259 bacarmay\u0131b, \u00f6l\u00fcs\u00fcnd\u0259n bu sayaq qisas almaq ist\u0259yib… Ola bilsin ki, q\u0259birqazan\u0131n albinoslar haqq\u0131nda dedikl\u0259ri d\u0259 c\u0259f\u0259ngiyyat say\u0131lmamal\u0131d\u0131r, ola bilsin hardasa bel\u0259 bir s\u00f6hb\u0259t e\u015fidib, \u0259m\u0259lli-ba\u015fl\u0131 qanmay\u0131b.<\/p>\n

B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, b\u0259zi inanclara g\u00f6r\u0259, insan beynind\u0259 yerl\u0259\u015f\u0259n \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc g\u00f6z\u00fcn – b\u0259sir\u0259t g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn olub – olmamas\u0131n\u0131 elmi c\u0259h\u0259td\u0259n ara\u015fd\u0131rma\u011fa c\u0259hd edirl\u0259r.<\/p>\n

M\u00fc\u0259llif bu ya buna b\u0259nz\u0259r ba\u015fqa s\u0259b\u0259bl\u0259r d\u0259 tapa ya uydura bil\u0259rdi, amma bu versiyalar\u0131n he\u00e7 biri s\u00fcjetin ir\u0259lid\u0259ki inki\u015faf\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6n\u0259mli deyil. M\u00fc\u0259llif \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn vacib olan diri – diri yer alt\u0131na g\u00f6m\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f insan\u0131n oyand\u0131\u011f\u0131 zaman ke\u00e7irdiyi hallar\u0131n t\u0259hlili v\u0259 m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259vi \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 sa\u011f qal\u0131b, \u00abxortlay\u0131b\u00bb, q\u0259bird\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xan \u00ab\u00f6l\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00bb onun kim t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n q\u0259tl\u0259 yetirildiyini bilm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn axtar\u0131\u015flar aparmas\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n

\n

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D\u00d6RD\u00dcNC\u00dc F\u018fS\u0130L<\/p>\n

\n

QEYB OLMU\u015e QARAJ<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cM\u0259g\u0259r kiminl\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 bilmir\u0259m? S\u0259n\u0259 dem\u0259k ist\u0259diyimi s\u0259n art\u0131q bilirs\u0259n, bunu g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259n oxuyuram. Sirrimi s\u0259nd\u0259n gizl\u0259y\u0259 bil\u0259c\u0259y\u0259mmi? B\u0259lk\u0259, s\u0259n bu sirrimi \u00f6z dilimd\u0259n e\u015fitm\u0259k ist\u0259yirs\u0259n? Onda bil: Biz s\u0259ninl\u0259 yox, Onunlay\u0131q\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0F. M. DOSTOYEVSK\u0130,<\/p>\n

\u00abKaramazov qarda\u015flar\u0131\u00bb<\/p>\n

\n

\u201c\u018fg\u0259r g\u00f6z yadda\u015f\u0131 pozulmasayd\u0131 psixoloji korluq, y\u0259ni g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcn obyektl\u0259ri tan\u0131mamaq kimi bir f\u0259sad da olmazd\u0131. G\u00f6z yadda\u015f\u0131n\u0131n kor\u015falmas\u0131 psixoloji korlu\u011fa s\u0259b\u0259b olur. B\u0259zi insanlar n\u0259sn\u0259l\u0259ri daxili bax\u0131\u015fla g\u00f6r\u00fcrl\u0259r, amma a\u00e7\u0131q g\u00f6zl\u0259 onlar\u0131 tan\u0131ya bilmirl\u0259r\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0ANR\u0130 BERQSON,<\/p>\n

frans\u0131z filosofu, \u00abYadda\u015f v\u0259 beyin\u00bb<\/p>\n

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S\u00fcp\u00fcrg\u0259\u00e7i Dada\u015f h\u00f6vlnak evin\u0259 g\u0259ldi, \u0259l-\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc yumam\u0131\u015f:<\/p>\n

-Arvad, tez bir \u00e7ay, – dedi, – s\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 \u015fey dan\u0131\u015facam ki, t\u00fckl\u0259rin biz-biz olacaq.<\/p>\n

Ki\u00e7ikxan\u0131m pilt\u0259nin yan\u0131nda \u00e7ay d\u0259ml\u0259y\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r Dada\u015f ki\u015finin s\u0259bri \u00e7atmad\u0131, arvad\u0131n\u0131n dal\u0131ycan m\u0259tb\u0259x\u0259 g\u0259ldi.<\/p>\n

– Bizim bu h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259, tualetin yan\u0131nda qaraj var ha…<\/p>\n

– Orda, b\u0259y\u0259m, qaraj var? – dey\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259r ald\u0131 arvad\u0131.<\/p>\n

– Var, var, tualetin o yan\u0131nda. M\u0259n d\u0259 indiy\u0259c\u0259n g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015fdim. H\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 gir\u0259nd\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcr.<\/p>\n

– Var, var da… n\u0259 olsun?<\/p>\n

– Qulaq as, bu yuxar\u0131dak\u0131 qon\u015fumuz var ha…<\/p>\n

-H\u0259… S\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn can\u0131n\u0131 de.<\/p>\n

-Bu g\u00fcnn\u0259rsi ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcr\u00fcb g\u0259ldi o qaraj\u0131n qaba\u011f\u0131na.<\/p>\n

-Onun, b\u0259y\u0259m, ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 var?<\/p>\n

– Varm\u0131\u015f dem\u0259.<\/p>\n

– Yax\u015f\u0131, n\u0259 olsun? Var, var da…<\/p>\n

-D\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc ma\u015f\u0131ndan, qaraj\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131n a\u00e7d\u0131. M\u0259n d\u0259 o vaxt el\u0259 oralar\u0131 s\u00fcp\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fcm. G\u00f6zucu baxd\u0131m qaraj\u0131n i\u00e7in\u0259. N\u0259 g\u00f6rs\u0259m yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131?<\/p>\n

-N\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcn, de da, \u00fcr\u0259yimizi \u00fczm\u0259.<\/p>\n

Dada\u015f arvad\u0131n\u0131n s\u00fczd\u00fcy\u00fc \u00e7aydan bir qurtum i\u00e7ib:<\/p>\n

-G\u00f6rd\u00fcm ki …<\/p>\n

-H\u0259\u0259\u0259…<\/p>\n

-G\u00f6rd\u00fcm qaraj\u0131n bir t\u0259r\u0259fin\u0259 c\u00fcrb\u0259c\u00fcr aparatlar d\u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcb. \u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259 he\u00e7 yerd\u0259, he\u00e7 kinoda da bel\u0259 aparatlar g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015fdim – d\u00fcrb\u00fcnd\u00fc, projektordu, n\u0259di, iri \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259l\u0259r olur e… ona n\u0259 deyirl\u0259r?<\/p>\n

-Hans\u0131 \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259l\u0259r?<\/p>\n

-N\u0259 bilim, kitab oxuyanda aliml\u0259r bax\u0131rlar e…<\/p>\n

– Mikroskop?<\/p>\n

– N\u0259? Ulduzlara da onunla bax\u0131rlar?<\/p>\n

-Yox, o teleskopdu. Yax\u015f\u0131, n\u0259 olsun?<\/p>\n

-H\u0259r t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259 irili – x\u0131rdal\u0131 g\u00fczg\u00fcl\u0259r.<\/p>\n

-Ki\u015fi, dey\u0259n s\u0259nin i\u015fin-g\u00fcc\u00fcn qurtar\u0131b. G\u00fczg\u00fc g\u00fczg\u00fcd\u00fcr d\u0259.<\/p>\n

-Dayan, s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc k\u0259sm\u0259, – \u00e7aydan bir qurtum da i\u00e7di. – G\u00fczg\u00fcl\u0259rin alt\u0131nda, \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259, b\u00f6yr\u00fcnd\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck-balaca g\u00f6z m\u00fcncuqlar\u0131 as\u0131l\u0131b. S\u0259n televizor alanda birin al\u0131b asm\u0131\u015fd\u0131q e \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n.<\/p>\n

-Y\u0259qin, o da as\u0131b ki, ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131na g\u00f6z d\u0259ym\u0259sin d\u0259. Zaqrani\u00e7n\u0131 ma\u015f\u0131nd\u0131?<\/p>\n

-M\u0259n n\u0259 bilim, ma\u015f\u0131n ma\u015f\u0131nd\u0131 da… evimizd\u0259 bi\u015fm\u0259yib, qon\u015fudan g\u0259lm\u0259yib… Dayan, p\u0259st\u0259ha h\u0259l\u0259 qabaqdad\u0131.<\/p>\n

– Oyunun olsun, ki\u015fi, bir k\u0259lm\u0259 s\u00f6z deyinc\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yimizi \u00e7\u0259kdin…<\/p>\n

– Otur g\u00f6r\u00fcm stula, y\u0131x\u0131lmayasan.<\/p>\n

-…<\/p>\n

-Ma\u015f\u0131ndan bir torba \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131, torban\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131, yalan\u00e7\u0131lar s\u00f6z\u00fc olmas\u0131n, qaraja \u0259lli-altm\u0131\u015f s\u0131\u00e7an buraxd\u0131.<\/p>\n

-N\u0259? – bu s\u0259f\u0259r Ki\u00e7ikxan\u0131m\u0131n do\u011frudan a\u011fz\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131q qald\u0131.<\/p>\n

-N\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rsan, ki\u015fi, b\u0259lk\u0259m d\u0259lidi?<\/p>\n

Dada\u015f s\u00f6hb\u0259tinin arvad\u0131na bel\u0259 t\u0259sir etm\u0259sind\u0259n m\u0259mnun qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

-B\u0259li, – dedi, – balaca-balaca s\u0131\u00e7anlar.<\/p>\n

-B\u0259s sonra neyl\u0259di?<\/p>\n

-Sonras\u0131n g\u00f6r\u0259 bilm\u0259dim, tez ba\u011flad\u0131 qaraj\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131.<\/p>\n

-A ki\u015fi, – dedi Ki\u00e7ikxan\u0131m, – b\u0259lk\u0259m orqanlara x\u0259b\u0259r el\u0259y\u0259s\u0259n, sonra \u015fipion-zad olar, b\u0259lk\u0259, s\u0131\u00e7anlar\u0131n \u0259liyl\u0259 camaat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 q\u0131rmaq ist\u0259yir.<\/p>\n

-Bo\u015f-bo\u015f dan\u0131\u015fma arvad, s\u0131\u00e7an\u0131n \u0259li olur?<\/p>\n

– \u018fli yox, aya\u011f\u0131 olsun. B\u0259lk\u0259m, camaat\u0131m\u0131za bu s\u0131\u00e7anlar\u0131n vasit\u0259siyl\u0259 x\u0259st\u0259lik-zad yoluxdurmaq ist\u0259yir ba\u015f\u0131 batm\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n

– Yax\u015f\u0131, n\u0259 deyirs\u0259n, arvad, indi neyl\u0259y\u0259k bu i\u015fi. B\u0259lk\u0259m, s\u0259n demi\u015f, do\u011frudan \u015fifyon zadd\u0131, adamlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 z\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259m\u0259k ist\u0259yir. Yoxsa bu q\u0259d\u0259r s\u0131\u00e7an n\u0259yin\u0259 g\u0259r\u0259kdi?<\/p>\n

– \u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259 hardan y\u0131\u011f\u0131b bu q\u0259d\u0259r s\u0131\u00e7an\u0131 e… Yox, s\u0259n h\u00f6kman \u00e7atd\u0131r b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u0259r\u0259 bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259ni.<\/p>\n

– Bu g\u00fcn daha gecdi, sabah ged\u0259r\u0259m hara laz\u0131md\u0131, ora.<\/p>\n

\u00a0B\u00fct\u00fcn gec\u0259 \u0259r d\u0259, arvad da qar\u0131\u015f\u0131q yuxular\u0131nda si\u00e7anlar\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcl\u0259r, si\u00e7anlar p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n i\u00e7\u0259ri gir\u0259r\u0259k evl\u0259rin\u0259 dolu\u015fmu\u015fdular.<\/p>\n

Si\u00e7an Ki\u00e7ikxan\u0131m\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc c\u0131rmaqlayanda (yuxuda, \u0259lb\u0259td\u0259) q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131b yerind\u0259n s\u0131\u00e7rad\u0131.<\/p>\n

-A ki\u015fi, dur, atan-anan behi\u015ftlik. Tez ol, hara laz\u0131md\u0131 x\u0259b\u0259r el\u0259, sonra ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za i\u015f a\u00e7arlar…<\/p>\n

Dada\u015f ki\u015fi t\u0259l\u0259sik geyindi. He\u00e7 \u00e7ay i\u00e7ib \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k d\u0259 yem\u0259di, h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. H\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xanda t\u0259rs kimi qaba\u011f\u0131na q\u0259rib\u0259 qaraj\u0131n yiy\u0259si \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. S\u00fcp\u00fcrg\u0259\u00e7iy\u0259 uzun-uzun el\u0259 z\u0259ndl\u0259 baxd\u0131 ki, el\u0259 bil onu ilk d\u0259f\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fc, he\u00e7 salam\u0131n\u0131 da almad\u0131, \u00e7evrilib uzaqla\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Dada\u015f\u0131n yad\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc ki, \u00e7ay i\u00e7m\u0259yib, \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k yem\u0259yib. T\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n evin\u0259 qay\u0131td\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ki\u00e7ikxan\u0131m:<\/p>\n

-Getdin? -dey\u0259 soru\u015fdu<\/p>\n

-Hara getm\u0259liydim ki?<\/p>\n

-Demirdin b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u0259rin yan\u0131na ged\u0259c\u0259m?<\/p>\n

-B\u00f6y\u00fckl\u0259rin yan\u0131nda n\u0259 i\u015fim var?<\/p>\n

-A ki\u015fi, d\u00fcn\u0259nn\u0259rsi demirdin ki, b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u0259rin yan\u0131na gedib \u0259hvalat\u0131 dan\u0131\u015facam?<\/p>\n

-Hans\u0131 \u0259hvalat\u0131, ay arvad, n\u0259 h\u0259t\u0259r\u0259n-p\u0259t\u0259r\u0259n dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rsan.<\/p>\n

-H\u0259t\u0259r\u0259n-p\u0259t\u0259r\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fan s\u0259ns\u0259n, o si\u00e7an \u0259hvalat\u0131n dan\u0131\u015fan s\u0259n deyildin?<\/p>\n

-N\u0259 si\u00e7an, arvad, ba\u015f\u0131na at t\u0259pib?<\/p>\n

-Day s\u0259n\u0259 s\u00f6z\u00fcm yoxdu. D\u00fcn\u0259nn\u0259rsi t\u00f6y\u015f\u00fcy\u0259-t\u00f6y\u015f\u00fcy\u0259 g\u0259ldin ki, yuxar\u0131dak\u0131 qon\u015fumuz qaraj\u0131na si\u00e7anlar\u0131 doldurub. M\u0259n d\u0259 b\u00fct\u00fcn gec\u0259 yuxuda si\u00e7an g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m.<\/p>\n

– Arvad, vallah, s\u0259nin ba\u015f\u0131na soyuq d\u0259yib. Bir \u00e7ilda\u011fa get.<\/p>\n

– \u00c7ilda\u011fa s\u0259n ged\u0259sis\u0259n, ki\u015fi. D\u00fcn\u0259nn\u0259rsi s\u0259n deyildin c\u00fcrb\u0259c\u00fcr na\u011f\u0131llar dan\u0131\u015fan, bir torba si\u00e7an, flan.. n\u0259 bilim daha n\u0259?<\/p>\n

Dada\u015f \u0259lini arvad\u0131n\u0131n aln\u0131na qoydu:<\/p>\n

-Yox, q\u0131zd\u0131rman yoxdu, b\u0259 niy\u0259 say\u0131ql\u0131y\u0131rsan?<\/p>\n

-A ki\u015fi, m\u0259ni d\u0259li ed\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n, s\u0259n deyildin dey\u0259n ki, qon\u015funun qaraj\u0131nda..<\/p>\n

-Hans\u0131 qarajda?<\/p>\n

-O tualetin yan\u0131ndak\u0131 qarajda…<\/p>\n

-Orda, b\u0259y\u0259m, qaraj var?<\/p>\n

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BE\u015e\u0130NC\u0130 F\u018fS\u0130L<\/p>\n

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D\u018fFN\u0130MD\u018fN \u00dc\u00c7 G\u00dcN \u00dc\u00c7 SAAT SONRA<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cVarl\u0131q ax\u0131n\u0131n\u0131 adlay\u0131b ke\u00e7\u0259rk\u0259n Ke\u00e7mi\u015fd\u0259n imtina et, G\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kd\u0259n imtina et, onlar\u0131n aras\u0131nda qalandan da imtina et. \u018fg\u0259r zehnin azadd\u0131rsa, n\u0259 olur-olsun, yenid\u0259n do\u011fulmayacaqsan v\u0259 qocalmayacaqsan\u201d.<\/p>\n

Dhammapada (miladdan \u00f6nc\u0259 III ya IV \u0259srl\u0259rd\u0259 Hindistanda yaranm\u0131\u015f buddist \u0259d\u0259bi abid\u0259si)<\/p>\n

\n

\u201c\u00c7oxsayl\u0131 \u00f6rn\u0259kl\u0259r m\u0259ni inand\u0131rd\u0131 ki, insan t\u0259bi\u0259t d\u00fcnyas\u0131ndan ruh d\u00fcnyas\u0131na ke\u00e7\u0259rk\u0259n h\u0259r \u015feyi \u00f6z\u00fcyl\u0259 apar\u0131r, t\u0259k bir b\u0259d\u0259nind\u0259n ba\u015fqa\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0E. Svedenborq,<\/p>\n

\u0130sve\u00e7 mistiki<\/p>\n

\n

K\u0259f\u0259nin i\u00e7ind\u0259 \u00e7abalay\u0131r, s\u0259sim g\u0259ldikc\u0259 ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131m:<\/p>\n

-Ey, kim var orda? \u00c7\u0131xar\u0131n m\u0259ni burdan, imdad!<\/p>\n

Bir az sonra kimins\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 duydum.<\/p>\n

-Tez ol, a\u00e7 m\u0259ni, \u00e7\u0131xart burdan.<\/p>\n

Hiss etdim ki, kims\u0259 k\u0259f\u0259nimi dart\u0131r, sif\u0259timi a\u00e7\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Saf hava s\u0259rin k\u00fcl\u0259k kimi \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131ld\u0131. Qaranl\u0131qda g\u00f6z\u00fcm he\u00e7 n\u0259yi se\u00e7mirdi, amma burnuma ucuz araq iyi, bir d\u0259 \u015firint\u0259h\u0259r bir qoxu \u00e7ald\u0131.<\/p>\n

-Tez ol, a\u00e7 \u0259limi – qolumu.<\/p>\n

Bo\u011fuq bir s\u0259s e\u015fitdim:<\/p>\n

-S\u0259brin olsun, a\u00e7\u0131ram da… q\u0259de\u015f, amma \u00f6z aram\u0131zd\u0131, s\u0259n he\u00e7 sar\u0131\u015fqa deyils\u0259n ki…<\/p>\n

K\u0259f\u0259n a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131qca \u0259zalar\u0131mda g\u0259rn\u0259\u015fm\u0259k ehtiyac\u0131 hiss edirdim. Bir yandan da mat qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m ki, m\u0259ni bel\u0259c\u0259 xilas ed\u0259n adam – kim olur olsun- dirilm\u0259yim\u0259, loru dill\u0259 des\u0259k \u00abxortdama\u011f\u0131ma\u00bb z\u0259rr\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb qalmay\u0131b.<\/p>\n

-\u00c7\u0131xar m\u0259ni burdan.<\/p>\n

-Ver \u0259liv\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcm.<\/p>\n

\u018flimd\u0259n tutub dartd\u0131. \u018fli qaba, qabarl\u0131, cod, h\u0259m d\u0259 \u00e7ox g\u00fccl\u00fcyd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

Bu an, bu yerd\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259d\u0259n q\u0259rib\u0259 s\u0259sl\u0259n\u0259n s\u00f6zl\u0259r dedi:<\/p>\n

-Xo\u015f g\u00f6rd\u00fck.<\/p>\n

-S\u0259n kims\u0259n?<\/p>\n

-Kilim\u00e7i. N\u0259 i\u015f\u00fcv\u0259…<\/p>\n

Bir k\u0259nara at\u0131lm\u0131\u015f beli g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n

-Q\u0259birqazansan?<\/p>\n

-El\u0259 deyill\u0259r.<\/p>\n

-B\u0259s m\u0259nim dirilm\u0259yim\u0259 he\u00e7 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb el\u0259m\u0259din?<\/p>\n

-N\u00f6\u015f t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb edim? E\u015fitm\u0259mis\u0259n: flank\u0259s k\u0259f\u0259nin y\u0131rt\u0131b \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131, s\u0259n d\u0259 olardansan da…<\/p>\n

Dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131qca araq iyini v\u0259 \u015firint\u0259h\u0259r qoxunu (t\u00fct\u00fcn, t\u0259nb\u0259ki?) daha yax\u0131ndan duyurdum, \u00fcr\u0259yim bulan\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

– M\u0259ni ha\u00e7an d\u0259fn edibl\u0259r? – dey\u0259 soru\u015fdum v\u0259 sorumun n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r absurd s\u0259sl\u0259ndiyinin f\u0259rqin\u0259 vard\u0131m.<\/p>\n

-Gavar \u015f\u0259nb\u0259 g\u00fcn\u00fcyd\u00fc, – sonra n\u0259yis\u0259 yada sal\u0131b. – H\u0259ri, d\u00fczd\u00fc, – dedi, – \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcn bundan qabaq.<\/p>\n

-He\u00e7 diri-diri basd\u0131rarlar adam\u0131?<\/p>\n

-Olan i\u015fdi, olanda olur da…<\/p>\n

-M\u0259nd\u0259n savay\u0131 da q\u0259bird\u0259 diril\u0259n g\u00f6rm\u00fcs\u0259n?<\/p>\n

-Oxartana…<\/p>\n

Tam a\u00e7\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f k\u0259f\u0259nin i\u00e7ind\u0259 l\u00fct-\u0259tc\u0259balayd\u0131m. Utand\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan k\u0259f\u0259nl\u0259 qaba\u011f\u0131m\u0131 tutmu\u015fdum.<\/p>\n

– Soyun, – dedim.<\/p>\n

Q\u0259birqazan buna da t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb qalmad\u0131. Dinm\u0259z-s\u00f6yl\u0259m\u0259z \u015falvar\u0131n\u0131, k\u00f6yn\u0259yini \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131. Bunu o q\u0259d\u0259r adi, s\u0131radan bir i\u015f kimi g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fc, sanki h\u0259r g\u00fcn \u00fcst-ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b q\u0259bird\u0259n dirilib \u00e7\u0131xan \u00ab\u00f6l\u00fcl\u0259r\u0259\u00bb verirdi. Get-ged\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rim qaranl\u0131\u011fa al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Bez k\u00f6yn\u0259yi qurumu\u015f, t\u0259rd\u0259n qaysaqlanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Tozlu-pal\u00e7\u0131ql\u0131 \u00e7\u0259km\u0259sinin alt\u0131 aralanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, ordan g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n x\u0131rda mismarc\u0131qlar timsah c\u0259h\u0259ngini and\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. Bala\u011f\u0131 b\u00fck\u00fcl\u00fcb corab\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7in\u0259 sal\u0131nm\u0131\u015f yamaq-y\u0131rt\u0131ql\u0131, r\u0259ngi bilinm\u0259y\u0259n \u015falvar\u0131 sidik iyi verirdi. B\u00fct\u00fcn bu iyl\u0259r\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131q m\u0259zardan g\u0259l\u0259n r\u00fctub\u0259t qoxusu da qar\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. \u00dcr\u0259yim qalx\u0131r, \u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fcrd\u00fcm, qusmaq ist\u0259yirdim. Bir t\u0259h\u0259r \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc \u0259l\u0259 ald\u0131m. Olanlar h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 yuxu kimi g\u0259lirdi. Amma qar\u015f\u0131mda bir alt tuman\u0131nda qalm\u0131\u015f adam canl\u0131yd\u0131, yuxu deyildi, it iyi verirdi. H\u0259r halda, n\u0259 olur olsun, bu adam m\u0259nim xilaskar\u0131m idi.<\/p>\n

-Burdasan? -dey\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259r ald\u0131m, – iki-\u00fc\u00e7 saata s\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259t t\u0259z\u0259 paltar al\u0131b g\u0259tir\u0259r\u0259m.<\/p>\n

\u0130lk d\u0259f\u0259 t\u0259\u015fvi\u015fl\u0259:<\/p>\n

-Yox, yox, – dedi, – bu saat burdan sivi\u015fib gedir\u0259m. \u00c7ap\u0131q g\u0259l\u0259r, s\u0259nin \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b getdiyini bil\u0259nd\u0259 d\u0259rim\u0259 saman t\u0259p\u0259r, – bird\u0259n g\u00f6zl\u0259nilm\u0259z sual verdi:<\/p>\n

-Akademiks\u0259n?<\/p>\n

-Yox<\/p>\n

-Professor?<\/p>\n

-Yox, bunu hardan \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131n?<\/p>\n

-N\u0259 bilim, sir-sif\u0259tind\u0259n alim\u0259-zada ox\u015fay\u0131rsan.<\/p>\n

-Maraql\u0131 adamsan, – dedim. – S\u0259n\u0259 borcluyam. El\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck borcum var ki… B\u0259s s\u0259ni hardan tap\u0131m?<\/p>\n

-Axtaran tapar, – dedi, – sonra dibind\u0259 bir az araq qalm\u0131\u015f st\u0259kan\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259 uzatd\u0131:<\/p>\n

-B\u0259lk\u0259m, gill\u0259d\u0259s\u0259n…<\/p>\n

-Yox, \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcnd\u00fc dilim\u0259 bir tik\u0259 d\u0259ym\u0259yib. \u00dcr\u0259yim qalxar.<\/p>\n

-\u00d6z\u00fcn bil\u0259n yax\u015fudu. Dedim, b\u0259lk\u0259, o d\u00fcnyadan g\u0259lm\u0259yinin sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131na vurasan.<\/p>\n

Ara\u011f\u0131 st\u0259kan\u0131n dibin\u0259c\u0259n i\u00e7di.<\/p>\n

-And\u0131ra qals\u0131n bunu icad ed\u0259ni, – dedi. Bir azdan xorultu s\u0259si g\u0259ldi. Q\u0259birqazan ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sin\u0259sin\u0259 sallay\u0131b yuxuya getmi\u015fdi. Heyf, ondan soru\u015fmal\u0131 o q\u0259d\u0259r sual\u0131m vard\u0131 ki… Bird\u0259n xorultu k\u0259sildi, q\u0259birqazan g\u00f6z\u00fc yumulu soru\u015fdu:<\/p>\n

-Gedirs\u0259n?<\/p>\n

-H\u0259, – dedim – s\u0259n\u0259 \u00e7ox minn\u0259tdaram, m\u0259ni o d\u00fcnyadan qaytard\u0131n.<\/p>\n

G\u00f6zl\u0259rini a\u00e7madan \u00abHamlet\u00bbd\u0259ki m\u0259zar\u00e7\u0131lar saya\u011f\u0131 f\u0259ls\u0259fi bir k\u0259lam s\u00f6yl\u0259di:<\/p>\n

-O d\u00fcnya, bu d\u00fcnya… el\u0259 bilirs\u0259n, b\u00f6y\u00fck t\u0259vaf\u00fct\u00fc var? Orda \u00f6l\u00fcl\u0259r diri kimidi, burda diril\u0259r \u00f6l\u00fc kimi.<\/p>\n

-Salamat qal, – dedim, – B\u0259lk\u0259m, bir d\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fck, – sonra m\u0259n d\u0259 onunsaya\u011f\u0131 \u0259lav\u0259 etdim: – ya bu d\u00fcnyada, ya o d\u00fcnyada…<\/p>\n

-\u0130n\u015fallah, – dedi.<\/p>\n

M\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, y\u00fcks\u0259klikd\u0259n k\u0259ll\u0259-mayallaq a\u015fanda, z\u0259rbl\u0259 torpa\u011fa yap\u0131\u015fanda burnum yanaqlar\u0131m\u0131n aras\u0131ndan harasa i\u00e7\u0259ri \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, \u00fcz\u00fcm f\u0259tir\u0259 d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. \u018flimi sif\u0259tim\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kdim – burn\u0131m, a\u011fz\u0131m, ham\u0131s\u0131 cab\u0259ca yerind\u0259ydi, f\u0259tir-flan da olmam\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Q\u0259birl\u0259rin aras\u0131ndan dolanbac \u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131rlarla had\u0131rlaya-had\u0131rlaya k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m. \u00d6mr\u00fcm boyu Bak\u0131da ya\u015fam\u0131\u015fd\u0131msa da, bu h\u0259nd\u0259v\u0259r\u0259 yolum d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259mi\u015fdi. Amma n\u0259d\u0259n bu \u0259yri-\u00fcyr\u00fc dalanlar yaman tan\u0131\u015f g\u0259lirdi m\u0259n\u0259? El\u0259 bil ha\u00e7ansa n\u0259inki bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n ke\u00e7mi\u015f\u0259m, h\u0259tta uzun zaman buralarda ya\u015fam\u0131\u015fam da.<\/p>\n

\n

ALTINCI F\u018fS\u0130L<\/p>\n

\n

\u015eER\u015eE LA FAMM*<\/p>\n

\n

\u201c\u018fg\u0259r bir insan \u00f6mr\u00fcnd\u0259 qad\u0131n g\u00f6rm\u0259yibs\u0259 v\u0259 qad\u0131nla cinsi \u0259laq\u0259nin n\u0259 oldu\u011funu bilmirs\u0259, \u015f\u0259hvani yuxu g\u00f6r\u0259n zaman ehtiras odu duyacaq, amma d\u0259rk etm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k ki, bu, cinsi \u0259laq\u0259 ist\u0259yidir v\u0259 bu alovu s\u00f6nd\u00fcrm\u0259y\u0259 qadir qad\u0131n haqq\u0131nda da t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr\u00fc olmayacaq\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u018fl Q\u0259zali, \u0130ran filosofu, sufizmin n\u0259z\u0259riyy\u0259\u00e7isi. \u00ab\u0130nam elminin dir\u00e7\u0259li\u015fi\u00bb kitab\u0131ndan<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cSufil\u0259r \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn Q\u0259rbd\u0259 Freydin v\u0259 Yunqun psixoloji n\u0259z\u0259riyy\u0259l\u0259ri yenilik deyildi. Sufi \u015feyxi \u018fl Q\u0259zalinin 900 il bundan \u0259vv\u0259l yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u0259s\u0259rl\u0259r g\u00f6st\u0259rir ki, seks haqq\u0131nda \u00e7ox sonralar Freydin g\u0259ldiyi n\u0259tic\u0259l\u0259r m\u00fcs\u0259lman aliml\u0259rin\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 m\u0259lum imi\u015f\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u0130DR\u0130S \u015eAH (XX \u0259sr, sufizm tarix\u00e7isi),<\/p>\n

\u00abSufizm\u00bb kitab\u0131ndan<\/p>\n

\n

H \u0259l\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259lik ill\u0259rind\u0259n \u018fhliman tay-tu\u015flar\u0131yla oturub-durma\u011f\u0131 xo\u015flamazd\u0131. B\u0259lk\u0259, s\u0259b\u0259b orta m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259vi z\u0259d\u0259l\u0259r idi. Evd\u0259 d\u0259, sinifl\u0259rind\u0259 d\u0259 daima pisikdirilm\u0259si, al\u00e7ald\u0131lmas\u0131, \u0259l\u0259 sal\u0131nmas\u0131 onda k\u0259mlik kompleksi yaratm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, insanlardan qa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131, adamayovu\u015fmaz olmu\u015fdu. T\u0259l\u0259b\u0259likd\u0259 bu c\u0259h\u0259tl\u0259ri daha da qabard\u0131. Kurs yolda\u015flar\u0131 aras\u0131nda h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 s\u0131x\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

T\u0259s\u0259llisini M\u00f6vlanan\u0131n bir fikrind\u0259n al\u0131rd\u0131. M\u00f6vlana deyirdi ki, elmi – s\u00f6zl\u0259r vasit\u0259siyl\u0259 d\u0259rk edirs\u0259n, s\u0259n\u0259ti – q\u0259lbinl\u0259 duyursan, t\u0259nhal\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 is\u0259, adamlar\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 olanda hiss edirs\u0259n.<\/p>\n

Deyib-g\u00fcl\u0259n, zarafatla\u015fan, bir-birin\u0259 \u0259rkl\u0259 sata\u015fanlar\u0131n aras\u0131nda qa\u015f-qabaql\u0131, qara-qabaq, i\u00e7in\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kilmi\u015f insan t\u0259siri ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131 ham\u0131ya. Kurslar\u0131ndak\u0131 q\u0131zlardan m\u00fcmk\u00fcn q\u0259d\u0259r gen durma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. B\u0259zi h\u0259dd\u0259n art\u0131q zir\u0259k o\u011flanlar\u0131n q\u0131zlarla a\u00e7\u0131q-sa\u00e7\u0131q s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259ri onu daha da s\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131. \u018fd\u0259b-\u0259rkan c\u0131z\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fan s\u00f6z mazaxla\u015fmalar\u0131 (kim bilir, b\u0259lk\u0259, bu s\u00f6z mazaxla\u015fmalar\u0131n\u0131n arxas\u0131nda \u015f\u0259hv\u0259t oyunlar\u0131 da dururdu) \u018fhliman\u0131 d\u0259rin depressiyalara sal\u0131rd\u0131, r\u00fch d\u00fc\u015fg\u00fcnl\u00fcy\u00fcn\u0259 yuvarlay\u0131rd\u0131. Kurslar\u0131nda o\u011flanlar q\u0131zlar haqq\u0131nda p\u0131s dan\u0131\u015fard\u0131lar. B\u0259zil\u0259ri hans\u0131sa q\u0131z\u0131n hans\u0131sa o\u011flanla, h\u0259tta ya\u015fl\u0131 ki\u015fiyl\u0259 yax\u0131n oldu\u011fundan qeyb\u0259t edir, b\u0259zil\u0259ri \u00f6zl\u0259rinin hans\u0131 qad\u0131nlasa intim \u0259laq\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n a\u011fz\u0131 sulana-sulana, olan\u0131n \u00fcstun\u0259 be\u015f qoya-qoya dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. \u018fhliman bel\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259rd\u0259n xo\u015flanmasa da, onlar\u0131 dinl\u0259m\u0259kd\u0259n d\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kinmirdi. O\u011flanlar t\u0259k \u00f6z kurslar\u0131ndak\u0131 deyil, yuxar\u0131 kurslarda oxuyan q\u0131zlar\u0131n, h\u0259tta cavan m\u00fc\u0259llim\u0259l\u0259rin seksual \u00fcst\u00fcnl\u00fckl\u0259rini yerli-yataql\u0131 m\u00fczakir\u0259 edirdil\u0259r. M\u0259hz yerli – yataql\u0131, y\u0259ni kimin yataqda nec\u0259 davranmas\u0131 ayr\u0131nt\u0131larla ara\u015fd\u0131r\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. Hans\u0131sa qad\u0131n\u0131n \u0259zalar\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcl\u0259ri, ekstaz v\u0259 orqazm m\u0259qamlar\u0131, erogen sah\u0259l\u0259ri, kimin kiml\u0259 v\u0259 ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 – bu c\u00fcr s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259r bitib t\u00fck\u0259nmirdi. H\u0259r biri d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc yataq q\u0259hr\u0259man\u0131 kimi q\u0259l\u0259m\u0259 verirdi. Bir gec\u0259d\u0259 ne\u00e7\u0259 orqazm ya\u015fayan v\u0259 ya\u015fadanlar\u0131n s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 inansan, fantastik r\u0259q\u0259m al\u0131nard\u0131. Bu say\u0131n fantastik oldu\u011funu \u018fhliman \u00e7ox-\u00e7ox sonralar ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. O vaxtlar is\u0259, seksual t\u0259cr\u00fcb\u0259si s\u0131fra b\u0259rab\u0259r idi, b\u00fct\u00fcn bu erk\u0259k q\u00fcrr\u0259l\u0259nm\u0259l\u0259rini h\u0259qiq\u0259t kimi q\u0259bul edir v\u0259 bunlardan m\u0259hrum oldu\u011funa g\u00f6r\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 ac\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131. Bu s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259rd\u0259n \u00f6yr\u0259nirdi ki, dem\u0259 b\u0259zi qad\u0131nlar intim anlarda t\u00f6y\u015f\u00fcy\u00fcr, b\u0259zil\u0259ri t\u0259rl\u0259yir, b\u0259zil\u0259ri \u015feir deyir ya mahn\u0131 oxuyur, b\u0259zil\u0259rinin q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u0259r\u015f\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r. B\u0259zil\u0259ri ya\u015fland\u0131qca \u015f\u0259hv\u0259t\u0259 daha \u00e7ox h\u0259ris olurlar. Bu cavanlar\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc daha t\u0259cr\u00fcb\u0259li Don Juan say\u0131rd\u0131. Daha \u00e7ox m\u00fcbahis\u0259 etdikl\u0259ri m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 hans\u0131 qad\u0131n\u0131n d\u00f6\u015fl\u0259rinin h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 dik qalmas\u0131 ya d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259si idi.<\/p>\n

G\u00fczg\u00fc qaba\u011f\u0131nda ya i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 ke\u00e7irm\u0259d\u0259n sevi\u015fm\u0259l\u0259r, le amur de trua* … b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 bil\u0259r\u0259kd\u0259n onun yan\u0131nda x\u00fcsusi bir \u0259zazillikl\u0259 apar\u0131lan s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259r gec\u0259l\u0259r \u018fhliman\u0131n yuxusunu \u0259r\u015f\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kirdi. Cavan, sa\u011flam b\u0259d\u0259nini \u00e7u\u011flayan, \u0259zalar\u0131n\u0131 tar\u0131ma \u00e7\u0259k\u0259n t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcrl\u0259rd\u0259n v\u0259 t\u0259sirl\u0259rd\u0259n qurtulmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn n\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259yini bilmirdi, erotik m\u00f6vzulardan uzaq kitablarla qat\u0131rd\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131. \u00c7ox vaxt gec\u0259 \u00e7\u0131ra\u011f\u0131n\u0131n i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda oxuma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 kitab\u0131 s\u0259h\u0259rin g\u00fcn\u0259\u015f \u015f\u00fcalar\u0131 alt\u0131nda bitirirdi. Tay- tu\u015flar\u0131 onun bu qay\u011f\u0131lar\u0131na b\u0259l\u0259d idil\u0259r v\u0259 yeri g\u0259ldi – g\u0259lm\u0259di, f\u0259ras\u0259tsizliyini la\u011fa qoyurdular.<\/p>\n

Kitablar qa\u00e7maz – deyirdil\u0259r- kitablar\u0131 qocalanda oxuyarsan. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n l\u0259zz\u0259ti qad\u0131nlar\u0131n q\u0131\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131ndad\u0131r. Ha. ha. ha.<\/p>\n

Amma adi vaxtlarda ona yuxar\u0131dan – a\u015fa\u011f\u0131, y\u00fcng\u00fcl ri\u015fx\u0259ndl\u0259, istehzayla baxanlar\u0131n \u00e7oxu imtahan \u0259r\u0259f\u0259sind\u0259 \u018fhliman\u0131n yard\u0131m\u0131na m\u00f6htac qal\u0131rd\u0131. Onun m\u00fck\u0259mm\u0259l bilikl\u0259rin\u0259, savad\u0131na, d\u0259rs \u0259la\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 oldu\u011funa yax\u015f\u0131 b\u0259l\u0259d idil\u0259r. \u0130mtahana m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259rd\u0259n art\u0131q haz\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 S\u0259di:- \u018fkb\u0259rovun imtahan\u0131ndan salamat \u00e7\u0131xaq, – dedi, – s\u0259n\u0259 \u0259miri s\u00fcrprizim olacaq…<\/p>\n

F\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259 imtahan\u0131na \u018fhliman onu el\u0259 haz\u0131rlad\u0131 ki, S\u0259di \u0259la ald\u0131.<\/p>\n

-M\u0259n s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn a\u011fas\u0131yam, – dedi S\u0259di. Sabah ax\u015fam g\u0259l biz\u0259. Bizimkil\u0259r ba\u011fdad\u0131. S\u0259n\u0259 boyun oldu\u011fum s\u00fcrprizd\u0259n raz\u0131 qalacaqsan. Amma bax, \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc yax\u015f\u0131-yax\u015f\u0131 q\u0131rx, s\u0259liq\u0259li geyin. Al, bu odekalonu da vurarsan.<\/p>\n

S\u0259h\u0259risi g\u00fcn ax\u015fam d\u00fcz 8-d\u0259 S\u0259digilin Be\u015finci mikrorayondak\u0131 m\u0259nzill\u0259rin\u0259 g\u0259ldi. Masan\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 bir \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259 \u015fampan v\u0259 meyv\u0259l\u0259r d\u00fcz\u00fclm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. T\u0259z\u0259c\u0259 \u0259yl\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdi\u0259r ki, o biri ota\u011f\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131 v\u0259 23-24 ya\u015flar\u0131nda, \u00e7iyinl\u0259ri a\u00e7\u0131q sar\u0131 paltar geymi\u015f bir q\u0131z masaya yana\u015fd\u0131. Q\u0131z\u0131n \u015f\u0259ffaf paltar\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131ndan bikinisi ayd\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

S\u0259di:<\/p>\n

-Cikini-bikini bildik, – dey\u0259 iri\u015fdi, – i\u00e7\u0259k s\u0259nin sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131na.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7dil\u0259r. Sonra iki q\u0259d\u0259h d\u0259 – birini \u018fhliman\u0131n, birini d\u0259 S\u0259dinin sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131na i\u00e7dil\u0259r.<\/p>\n

S\u0259di maqnitofonu qurub h\u0259zin bir r\u0259qs \u00e7ald\u0131rma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n

Q\u0131z aya\u011fa durub \u0259rkl\u0259 \u018fhliman\u0131n \u0259lind\u0259n tutdu:<\/p>\n

-R\u0259qs ed\u0259k?<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman r\u0259qs etm\u0259yi yax\u015f\u0131 bacarm\u0131rd\u0131, amma yox dem\u0259y\u0259 utand\u0131, aya\u011fa durub qollar\u0131n\u0131 q\u0131z\u0131n \u00e7iyinl\u0259rin\u0259 qoydu.<\/p>\n

S\u0259di telefonu g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb harasa z\u0259ng el\u0259di, d\u0259st\u0259y\u0259: yax\u015f\u0131, yax\u015f\u0131, hirsl\u0259nm\u0259, indi g\u0259tir\u0259r\u0259m, – dedi.<\/p>\n

D\u0259st\u0259yi as\u0131b r\u0259qs ed\u0259nl\u0259r\u0259 m\u00fcraci\u0259tl\u0259:<\/p>\n

-Vay, vay, tamam unutmu\u015fdum, – dedi, – atam\u0131n d\u0259rman\u0131n\u0131 aparmal\u0131yam ba\u011fa, ki\u015fi \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n. Bir az yubansam, ged\u0259nd\u0259 i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 s\u00f6nd\u00fcr\u00fcb, qap\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131rpars\u0131n\u0131z.<\/p>\n

S\u0259dinin qap\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131b evd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xmas\u0131yla q\u0131z\u0131n \u018fhlimana s\u0131x\u0131l\u0131b dodaqlar\u0131ndan \u00f6pm\u0259yi bir oldu. Diliyl\u0259 \u018fhliman\u0131n dodaqlar\u0131n\u0131 aralay\u0131b dilini yalama\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131. \u018fli \u015falvar\u0131n\u0131n d\u00fcym\u0259l\u0259rin\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f uzand\u0131.<\/p>\n

Sonras\u0131 \u018fhlimana yuxu kimi g\u0259lirdi. O biri ota\u011fa ha\u00e7an v\u0259 nec\u0259 ke\u00e7mi\u015fdil\u0259r, nec\u0259 soyunub yata\u011fa girmi\u015fdil\u0259r… Sonralar bu anlar\u0131 duman i\u00e7ind\u0259 xat\u0131rlay\u0131rd\u0131, b\u0259z\u0259n h\u0259tta \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259nirdi, b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar do\u011frudanm\u0131 olub?<\/p>\n

Q\u0131z t\u0259cr\u00fcb\u0259li \u0259ll\u0259riyl\u0259, \u00e7evik b\u0259d\u0259niyl\u0259 t\u0259k \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn yox, \u018fhliman\u0131n da h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rini t\u0259nzim edirdi v\u0259 el\u0259 hey: \u00abda, da… \u00bb – deyirdi…<\/p>\n

Sonra l\u0259zz\u0259tin zirv\u0259si – birg\u0259 bo\u015falma v\u0259 rahatl\u0131q an\u0131. Sanki qar\u0131nl\u0131q bir d\u0259rinliyin i\u00e7in\u0259 yuvarlanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, q\u0259\u015f\u015f etmi\u015f kimiydi sanki. Yuxu bir ne\u00e7\u0259 an i\u00e7ind\u0259 aparm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 onu.<\/p>\n

S\u0259h\u0259r oyananda q\u0131z art\u0131q yoxdu, onu dur\u011fuzmadan s\u0259ssizc\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b getmi\u015fdi.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 q\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259ndi, g\u00f6zl\u0259ri ya\u015fard\u0131. \u0130\u00e7ind\u0259n a\u011flamaq g\u0259lirdi. Bu gec\u0259 22 ya\u015f\u0131nda ax\u0131r ki, ki\u015fi olmu\u015fdu. \u00dcr\u0259yind\u0259 bir t\u0259la\u015f da oyanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. B\u0259lk\u0259 bu, m\u0259krli bir oyundur. B\u0259lk\u0259, bu q\u0131z\u0131 ona \u0259r\u0259 verm\u0259k niyy\u0259tl\u0259ri var. B\u0259lk\u0259, q\u0131z \u00abu\u015fa\u011fa qalm\u0131\u015fam\u00bb deyib onu \u015fantaj ed\u0259c\u0259k. Ya, b\u0259lk\u0259, iraq-iraq, ona bir x\u0259st\u0259lik yoluxduracaq… Gec\u0259d\u0259n yad\u0131nda qalan a\u011fr\u0131 dolu bir h\u0259zzdi, amma q\u0131z\u0131n sif\u0259ti yad\u0131nda qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. He\u00e7 ad\u0131n\u0131 da bilmirdi.<\/p>\n

Tan\u0131\u015f olanda niy\u0259 ad\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yl\u0259m\u0259di? B\u0259lk\u0259, bu da konspirasiya \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnd\u00fc. N\u0259 ad\u0131, n\u0259 telefonu, n\u0259 \u00fcnvan\u0131… El\u0259 bil he\u00e7 yoxmu\u015f, \u018fhliman\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcb … \u015eampan\u0131n ya \u015fampana qat\u0131lan hans\u0131sa h\u0259bin t\u0259sirind\u0259ndir b\u00fct\u00fcn olanlar, ger\u00e7\u0259k deyildi, x\u0259yal\u0259n t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr olunmu\u015f \u0259laq\u0259ydi. Amma \u0259zik-\u00fcz\u00fck d\u00f6\u015f\u0259k, m\u0259l\u0259f\u0259nin \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 l\u0259k\u0259l\u0259r real idi ax\u0131… \u018fhliman do\u011frudan do\u011fruya \u00e7arpay\u0131dan durub tualet\u0259 getm\u0259li, bay\u0131ra \u00e7\u0131xmal\u0131, \u0259l-\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc yuyub paltar\u0131n\u0131 geyinm\u0259liydi.<\/p>\n

\u0130nstituta gir\u0259r-girm\u0259z S\u0259di el\u0259 qap\u0131da onu g\u00fcl\u0259-g\u00fcl\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131lad\u0131:<\/p>\n

-Nec\u0259s\u0259n, karanoy? – dedi, – raz\u0131 qald\u0131n? G\u00f6rd\u00fcn d\u0259, l\u0259l\u0259\u015f\u00fcn havay\u0131 s\u00f6z dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131r.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman q\u0131p-q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 q\u0131zard\u0131, he\u00e7 n\u0259 dem\u0259k, bunu m\u00fczakir\u0259 etm\u0259k ist\u0259mirdi.<\/p>\n

Amma ona el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, d\u00fcn\u0259n gec\u0259ki vaqi\u0259d\u0259n ham\u0131n\u0131n x\u0259b\u0259ri var v\u0259 indi t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259l\u0259r d\u0259, m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259r d\u0259 ona ayr\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259 bax\u0131rlar. \u0130stehzayla baxan kim, m\u0259z\u0259mm\u0259tl\u0259 baxan kim, r\u0259\u011fb\u0259tl\u0259 baxan kim, h\u0259tta h\u0259s\u0259dl\u0259 baxanlar da var … Ya ona el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi.<\/p>\n

Yox, dey\u0259s\u0259n, z\u0259nnind\u0259 yan\u0131lm\u0131rm\u0131\u015f. N\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 ondan xo\u015fu g\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259n Firuz bu s\u0259f\u0259r yan\u0131ndan ke\u00e7\u0259rk\u0259n g\u00f6z vurub qula\u011f\u0131na p\u0131\u00e7\u0131ldad\u0131:<\/p>\n

-Da… da… – v\u0259 \u015faqqanaq \u00e7\u0259kib g\u00fcld\u00fc.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman diksindi. Dem\u0259li… dem\u0259li n\u0259? Bunu he\u00e7 a\u011fl\u0131na g\u0259tirm\u0259k ist\u0259mirdi. Ax\u0131r d\u00f6zm\u0259di, S\u0259dini bir q\u0131ra\u011fa \u00e7\u0259kib:<\/p>\n

– O q\u0131z, – dey\u0259 s\u00f6z\u0259 ba\u015flamaq ist\u0259yirdi ki, S\u0259di bic-bic g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcnd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

-N\u0259di, xo\u015fun g\u0259ldi? Yen\u0259 ist\u0259yirs\u0259n?<\/p>\n

– Yox, – dedi v\u0259 dey\u0259n kimi d\u0259rk etdi ki, bu \u00abyoxu\u00bb c\u00fcrb\u0259c\u00fcr anla\u015f\u0131la bil\u0259r. – S\u0259n bu bar\u0259d\u0259 Firuza bir \u015fey demis\u0259n?<\/p>\n

-Firuza? Yox, n\u0259di ki..<\/p>\n

-Firuz o q\u0131z\u0131 tan\u0131y\u0131r?<\/p>\n

-Onu kim tan\u0131m\u0131r ki…<\/p>\n

Ani t\u0259r\u0259dd\u00fcdd\u0259n sonra soru\u015fdu:<\/p>\n

– S\u0259n d\u0259 olmusan onunla?<\/p>\n

S\u0259di g\u00fcld\u00fc:<\/p>\n

-N\u0259 i\u015fin\u0259? Yoxsa a\u015fiq oldun ona? \u00c7ox bils\u0259n, tez qocalarsan. M\u0259n\u0259 qulaq as. \u0130\u015find\u0259 ol. \u0130st\u0259s\u0259n sizi yen\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcrr\u0259m. Amma bizd\u0259 yox, ayr\u0131 yerd\u0259, atamgil sabah ba\u011fdan g\u0259lir. – Sonra d\u00fcnyan\u0131n h\u0259r \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f a\u011fsaqqal saya\u011f\u0131 m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t verm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. – D\u00fcnya be\u015f g\u00fcnd\u00fc, kefini \u00e7\u0259k, ayr\u0131 m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259l\u0259r n\u0259 borcuna? Beynin\u0259 salma he\u00e7 n\u0259yi.<\/p>\n

O g\u00fcnd\u0259n \u018fhliman \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 s\u00f6z verdi ki, t\u00f6vb\u0259, bir d\u0259 he\u00e7 vaxt, he\u00e7 bir qad\u0131nla \u0259laq\u0259si olmayacaq. Yen\u0259 kitablarla xilas olacaq.<\/p>\n

Amma aylar ke\u00e7dikc\u0259 v\u0259din\u0259 \u0259m\u0259l etm\u0259k \u00e7\u0259tinl\u0259\u015firdi. \u0130st\u0259r-ist\u0259m\u0259z o gec\u0259nin l\u0259zz\u0259ti b\u0259d\u0259n yadda\u015f\u0131na hakim k\u0259silmi\u015fdi. H\u0259yat\u0131na \u00fc\u00e7-d\u00f6rd ba\u015fqa qad\u0131n da daxil oldu, ail\u0259 qurmaq fikri yoxdu, b\u00fct\u00fcn qad\u0131nlara pis g\u00f6zl\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131, az qala ham\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u0259xlaqs\u0131z, sat\u0131lm\u0131\u015f say\u0131rd\u0131. Bir h\u0259ft\u0259, on g\u00fcn \u0259laq\u0259d\u0259 oldu\u011fu qad\u0131nlardan da \u015f\u0259hv\u0259td\u0259n ba\u015fqa he\u00e7 n\u0259 ummurdu. N\u0259 sevgi, n\u0259 n\u0259vazi\u015f, n\u0259 etibar… D\u00fcn\u0259n a\u011fu\u015funa ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 qad\u0131n\u0131n sabah \u00f6ld\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc e\u015fits\u0259ydi, vecin\u0259 olmazd\u0131. Q\u0259rib\u0259 o idi ki, \u018fhlimanla \u0259laq\u0259d\u0259 olan bu qad\u0131nlar\u0131n h\u0259r\u0259si bir b\u0259laya d\u00fc\u00e7ar olurdu. \u018frli bir qad\u0131n \u018fhlimanla on g\u00fcn ya\u015fayandan sonra q\u0259za n\u0259tic\u0259sind\u0259 be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131nda u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n\u0131 itirdi.<\/p>\n

A\u011flaya-a\u011flaya: – m\u0259nim g\u00fcnahlar\u0131m\u0131n n\u0259tic\u0259sidir, – deyirdi, – qar\u015f\u0131ma \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ba\u015fqa bir qad\u0131n \u018fhlimanla \u0259n uzun – yar\u0131mayl\u0131q yax\u0131nl\u0131qan sonra x\u0259rc\u0259ng x\u0259st\u0259yin\u0259 tutuldu, iki ay\u0131n \u0259rzind\u0259 \u0259riyib getdi. \u00dc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc qad\u0131n m\u00fchasib i\u015fl\u0259yirdi, d\u0259l\u0259duzluq \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 5 il h\u0259bs c\u0259zas\u0131na m\u0259hkum edildi.<\/p>\n

D\u00f6rd\u00fcnc\u00fc qad\u0131n… d\u00f6rd\u00fcnc\u00fc qad\u0131n yoxdu.<\/p>\n

Daha do\u011frusu, vard\u0131, amma \u018fhliman\u0131n olmad\u0131… Yax\u0131nl\u0131q etdiyi qad\u0131nlar\u0131n faci\u0259vi aqib\u0259ti \u018fhliman\u0131 \u00fcrk\u00fcd\u00fcrd\u00fc. Bu b\u0259lalalara m\u0259hz ondan ayr\u0131landan sonra d\u00fc\u00e7ar olduqlar\u0131n\u0131 bildiyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn daha he\u00e7 k\u0259si b\u0259db\u0259xt etm\u0259k ist\u0259mirdi.<\/p>\n

S\u0259n sayd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 say, g\u00f6r f\u0259l\u0259k, ya q\u0259dim yunanlar\u0131n Kupidon aldand\u0131rd\u0131qlar\u0131 sevgi m\u0259l\u0259yi ba\u015f\u0131na n\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259 qurur.<\/p>\n

\u018fg\u0259r do\u011frudan da ilk bax\u0131\u015fdan a\u015fiq olmaq m\u00fcmk\u00fcnd\u00fcrs\u0259, \u018fhliman R\u00fcbab\u0259ni birinci d\u0259f\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259n kimi, \u00abbu qad\u0131n m\u0259nim olmal\u0131d\u0131r, h\u00f6kman da m\u0259nim olacaq\u00bb, – dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc. R\u0259ssam P\u0259rvizin s\u0259rgisind\u0259 tan\u0131\u015f olmu\u015fdular. R\u00fcbab\u0259nin r\u0259ssama qohumlu\u011fu \u00e7at\u0131rd\u0131. R\u0259ssam \u018fhliman\u0131n portretini \u00e7\u0259kmi\u015fdi, q\u0259rib\u0259 portret idi, ona ani baxan kimi adam\u0131n ilk n\u0259z\u0259rin\u0259 \u00e7arpan iri g\u00f6zl\u0259ri idi. R\u0259ssam \u00e7\u0259kdiyi portretin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda onlar\u0131 tan\u0131\u015f ed\u0259nd\u0259:<\/p>\n

-R\u00fcbab\u0259 xan\u0131m bibim q\u0131z\u0131d\u0131r, – dedi, – \u018fhliman m\u00fc\u0259llim d\u0259 modelim.<\/p>\n

R\u00fcbab\u0259:<\/p>\n

– G\u00f6z\u0259l portretdir, – dedi, – amma P\u0259rviz g\u00f6zl\u0259rinizin ifad\u0259sini d\u0259qiq ver\u0259 bilm\u0259yib.<\/p>\n

P\u0259rviz:<\/p>\n

-D\u00fc\u015fm\u0259n ocaq ba\u015f\u0131nda olar, – dey\u0259 onun s\u00f6zl\u0259rini zarafata sald\u0131, – n\u0259 ifad\u0259 var ki, g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259, ver\u0259 bilm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m?<\/p>\n

R\u00fcbab\u0259 \u018fhliman\u0131n d\u00fcz g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin i\u00e7in\u0259 – portretd\u0259 yox, h\u0259yatda, real g\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 baxaraq:<\/p>\n

– \u00c7ox qorxunc g\u00f6zl\u0259riniz var, – dedi. – Bir az sirli, bir az m\u0259\u015fum, biz az t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259li… \u018fhliman bu s\u00f6zl\u0259rin f\u0259rqin\u0259 varmadan R\u00fcbab\u0259nin boynuna bax\u0131rd\u0131; sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259p\u0259sinin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 y\u0131\u011fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, uzun boynu tamamil\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131q qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 – \u00abdurna boyu\u00bb s\u00f6zl\u0259ri g\u0259lmi\u015fdi a\u011fl\u0131na.<\/p>\n

Ya\u015f\u0131l lopa-lopa paltar\u0131n\u0131n d\u0259rin dekoltesind\u0259n iri d\u00f6\u015fl\u0259ri sezilirdi. \u00c7ox- \u00e7ox ill\u0259rd\u0259n sonra \u018fhliman yenid\u0259n bir qad\u0131na \u015f\u0259hv\u0259t v\u0259 ist\u0259k dolu bir hiss ke\u00e7irirdi, amma bu s\u0259f\u0259r bu duy\u011fulara bir n\u0259vazi\u015f ehtiyac\u0131 da qat\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. R\u00fcbab\u0259ni g\u00f6zl\u0259riyl\u0259 soyundururdu, \u0259ll\u0259ri boynunu, \u00e7iyinl\u0259rini, sin\u0259sini tumarlaya-tumarlaya, s\u0131xcalaya-s\u0131xcalaya b\u0259d\u0259nind\u0259 g\u0259zirdi. D\u00fcm-d\u00fcz hamar k\u00fcr\u0259yiyl\u0259 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 s\u00fcr\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc, bu dolu \u0259ndaml\u0131 qad\u0131n\u0131 l\u00fct soyundurub yata\u011fa uzand\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131, boynunu \u00f6p\u00fc\u015fl\u0259r\u0259 q\u0259rq edirdi. \u0130lk seksual t\u0259cr\u00fcb\u0259sind\u0259n qalan pe\u015fman\u00e7\u0131l\u0131qla deyil, sonralar qazand\u0131\u011f\u0131 sevi\u015fm\u0259k m\u0259har\u0259tiyl\u0259 kam verib, kam al\u0131rd\u0131. R\u00fcbab\u0259nin iri ala g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin d\u00fcz i\u00e7in\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131, bu g\u00f6zl\u0259rd\u0259 d\u0259, aralanm\u0131\u015f dodaqlar\u0131nda da a\u011fr\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fc, bu \u015f\u0259hv\u0259t anlar\u0131n\u0131n a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131yd\u0131 v\u0259 bu a\u011fr\u0131 h\u0259r ikisini h\u0259zzin zirv\u0259sin\u0259 apar\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

S\u0259rginin qalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131nda (h\u0259tta hardasa kvartet musiqi \u00e7alma\u011fa ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131), yaln\u0131z R\u00fcbab\u0259nin x\u0259yali iniltil\u0259rini v\u0259 \u00e7\u0131l\u011f\u0131n p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lt\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fidirdi.<\/p>\n

R\u0259ssam m\u00fcxbirl\u0259rin \u0259hat\u0259sind\u0259 m\u00fcsahib\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131 qar\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan, \u018fhliman c\u0259sar\u0259t edib R\u00fcbab\u0259nin telefonunu ist\u0259di. R\u00fcbab\u0259 \u0259sla \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc naza qoymadan balaca, \u00fcst\u00fc muncuqlu qara redik\u00fcl\u00fcnd\u0259n vizit kart\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b \u018fhlimana uzatd\u0131.<\/p>\n

O g\u00fcnd\u0259n z\u0259ngl\u0259\u015fm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131lar. R\u00fcbab\u0259 haqq\u0131nda he\u00e7 n\u0259 bilmirdi, bilm\u0259k d\u0259 ist\u0259mirdi. Bilmirdi \u0259rd\u0259dir ya subayd\u0131, \u0259rind\u0259n bo\u015fan\u0131b ya, b\u0259lk\u0259, dul qal\u0131b? H\u0259r halda, ist\u0259dikl\u0259ri vaxt z\u0259ngl\u0259\u015f\u0259 bilir v\u0259 saatlarla mane\u0259siz dan\u0131\u015fa bilirdil\u0259r. H\u0259r \u015feyd\u0259n dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131lar – kitablardan, teatr tama\u015falar\u0131ndan, musiqi v\u0259 r\u0259sm \u0259s\u0259rl\u0259rind\u0259n, filml\u0259rd\u0259n. R\u00fcbab\u0259 hans\u0131sa b\u0259st\u0259kar\u0131 v\u0259 aktyoru t\u0259rifl\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 \u018fhliman narahat olurdu. \u00dcr\u0259yin\u0259 damm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, he\u00e7 vaxt o r\u0259ssam ya artistin \u015f\u00f6hr\u0259tin\u0259 sahib ola bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k. Bu q\u0131sqancl\u0131q r\u0259qab\u0259t hissi deyildi, sad\u0259c\u0259, a\u015fiq oldu\u011fu qad\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn, \u018fhliman\u0131n ona sahib olmas\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn he\u00e7 vaxt m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n s\u0259viyy\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7ata bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259yind\u0259n do\u011fan \u0259zab idi v\u0259 bu taleyind\u0259nmi, qism\u0259tind\u0259nmi, q\u0259zavu q\u0259d\u0259rd\u0259nmi \u00f6c almaq ist\u0259yini oyad\u0131rd\u0131. Daha yax\u0131n olmalar\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u018fhliman\u0131n k\u00f6m\u0259yiyl\u0259 eyni elmi idar\u0259d\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131lar…<\/p>\n

Bir d\u0259f\u0259 R\u00fcbab\u0259 d\u0259bd\u0259 olan filmd\u0259n s\u00f6z a\u00e7anda, filmi g\u00f6rm\u0259diyini, amma ham\u0131n\u0131n o bar\u0259d\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 dey\u0259nd\u0259, \u018fhliman: – g\u0259lin sabah ged\u0259k baxaq, – dedi.<\/p>\n

S\u0259h\u0259risi g\u00fcn ax\u015fam 8-\u0259 on be\u015f d\u0259qiq\u0259 qalm\u0131\u015f \u201cNizami\u201d kinoteatr\u0131n\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259yi q\u0259rarla\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131lar. \u018fhliman yar\u0131m saat tez g\u0259ldi, kassadan ax\u0131r\u0131nc\u0131 s\u0131raya bilet ist\u0259di. Onun \u00f6z niyy\u0259ti vard\u0131.<\/p>\n

R\u00fcbab\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131qlar\u0131 vaxt g\u0259ldi. Vurdu\u011fu frans\u0131z \u0259tirl\u0259rinin qoxusu \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n qabaq \u00e7atd\u0131 \u018fhlimana.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7\u0259ri ke\u00e7dil\u0259r, ax\u0131r\u0131nc\u0131 s\u0131rada \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdil\u0259r. Salon qaranl\u0131qla\u015f\u0131b film ba\u015flayanda \u018fhliman R\u00fcbab\u0259nin \u0259ll\u0259rini \u0259linin i\u00e7in\u0259 ald\u0131. \u015eahad\u0259t barma\u011f\u0131yla R\u00fcbab\u0259nin ovcunu s\u0131\u011fallama\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131. Qad\u0131n \u0259lini \u00e7\u0259kmirdi. Hans\u0131 m\u0259qamdasa R\u00fcbab\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 \u018fhliman\u0131n \u00e7iynin\u0259 qoydu. \u018fhlimana el\u0259 g\u0259ldi ki, bu, \u0259n yax\u0131n zamanda ba\u015f tutacaq intim t\u0259maslar\u0131na bir i\u015far\u0259dir, ismar\u0131\u015fd\u0131r. Ekranda tam qaranl\u0131q kadrlar g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259nd\u0259 v\u0259 salon da t\u0259bii z\u00fclm\u0259t\u0259 q\u0259rq olanda, \u018fhliman sol \u0259lini R\u00fcbab\u0259nin sa\u011f dizinin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qoydu, yava\u015f-yava\u015f yuxar\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 s\u00fcr\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcrm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. R\u00fcbab\u0259 sanki bird\u0259n – bir\u0259 ay\u0131lm\u0131\u015f kimi \u018fhliman\u0131n \u0259lini it\u0259l\u0259di, yerind\u0259n s\u0131\u00e7ray\u0131b iti add\u0131mlarla salondan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman da tez durub onun ard\u0131nca getdi… R\u00fcbab\u0259 pill\u0259kanlara t\u0259r\u0259f t\u0259l\u0259sirdi. \u018fhliman:<\/p>\n

-R\u00fcbab\u0259, R\u00fcbab\u0259 xan\u0131m, ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n, siz Allah, – dey\u0259 \u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131rsa da, qad\u0131n m\u0259h\u0259l qoymad\u0131, qanr\u0131l\u0131b geri baxmadan uzaqla\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Yeyin add\u0131mlarla pill\u0259kanlarla enm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131… \u018fhliman onun d\u00fcm-d\u00fcz \u015f\u00fcmal k\u00fcr\u0259yin\u0259, belind\u0259n a\u015fa\u011f\u0131, yumru \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259sin\u0259, yuvarlaq budlar\u0131na, dolu bald\u0131rlar\u0131na, alaa\u00e7\u0131q \u00e7\u0259km\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n topuqlar\u0131na bax\u0131rd\u0131…<\/p>\n

R\u00fcbab\u0259nin q\u0259fl\u0259t\u0259n aya\u011f\u0131 b\u00fcdr\u0259di, \u00fcz\u00fcqoyulu pill\u0259kanlara y\u0131x\u0131ld\u0131, iki – \u00fc\u00e7 d\u0259f\u0259 mayallaq a\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman v\u0259 qap\u0131da dayanan biletk\u0259s\u0259nl\u0259r ona t\u0259r\u0259f qa\u00e7d\u0131lar. R\u00fcbab\u0259 zar\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131. Sol aya\u011f\u0131 s\u0131nm\u0131\u015fd\u0131… \u00dc\u00e7 ay x\u0259st\u0259xanada, gips i\u00e7ind\u0259 qald\u0131.<\/p>\n

\n

YEDD\u0130NC\u0130 F\u018fS\u0130L<\/p>\n

\n

D\u0130R\u0130 BABANIN SORA\u011eINDA<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cXudav\u0259ndi – al\u0259m insan\u0131n q\u0259lbind\u0259 m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n bir sirr d\u0259 yerl\u0259\u015fdirib.<\/p>\n

At\u0259\u015f d\u0259mird\u0259 ya da\u015fda gizl\u0259ndiyi kimi, bu sirr d\u0259 orda gizli qal\u0131r. Ancaq d\u0259mir \u00e7axmaq da\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131landa q\u0131g\u0131lc\u0131m \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u018fL Q\u018fZAL\u0130<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cDzen t\u0259cr\u00fcb\u0259sind\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fcn, bax\u0131\u015f\u0131n rolu \u00e7ox \u00f6n\u0259mlidir. G\u00f6zl\u0259r a\u00e7\u0131q olanda fikir \u0259traf, g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n m\u00fchit\u0259 y\u00f6n\u0259lir v\u0259 bu, daxili d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 \u0259ng\u0259l t\u00f6r\u0259dir\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0SEKUD\u0130 KATSUK\u0130,<\/p>\n

\u00abDzen t\u0259cr\u00fcb\u0259si\u00bbnd\u0259n<\/p>\n

\n

T \u0259l\u0259b\u0259lik ill\u0259rind\u0259 c\u0259misi iki n\u0259f\u0259rl\u0259 dostlu\u011fum vard\u0131, nax\u00e7\u0131vanl\u0131 M\u00f6hs\u00fcnl\u0259 v\u0259 \u015f\u0259kili Zeynalla. B\u0259lk\u0259, bu yax\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n bir s\u0259b\u0259bi d\u0259, ba\u015fqa o\u011flanlardan f\u0259rqli, onlar\u0131n ab\u0131rl\u0131 davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 idi, he\u00e7 vaxt he\u00e7 bir qad\u0131na pis g\u00f6zl\u0259 baxmaz v\u0259 axvay\u0131 s\u00f6zl\u0259r dan\u0131\u015fmazd\u0131lar. \u00d6zl\u0259ri d\u0259 can bir q\u0259lb dost idil\u0259r, amma el\u0259 hey bir-biril\u0259rin\u0259 sata\u015fard\u0131lar, Zeynal M\u00f6hs\u00fcn\u0259:<\/p>\n

-\u018fzizim \u201c\u00c7AY\u201d, \u201c\u00c7AY\u201d, yad\u0131nda saxla \u201c\u00e7ay\u201d, \u201csay\u201d niy\u0259 deyirs\u0259n?<\/p>\n

-B\u0259s onda \u00e7\u0259l\u0259m\u0259 n\u0259 dey\u0259k?<\/p>\n

Zeynal u\u011funub gedir, m\u0259n\u0259 g\u00f6z vururdu:<\/p>\n

-Dem\u0259 \u201c\u00e7\u201d h\u0259rfini k\u0259l\u0259m s\u00f6z\u00fcy\u00e7\u00fcn saxlay\u0131bm\u0131\u015f e…<\/p>\n

M\u00f6hs\u00fcn:<\/p>\n

-Buna bax e, m\u0259n\u0259 dil \u00f6yr\u0259dir. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 \u015e\u0259kid\u0259ydim, radioyla bir \u015fair \u015feir oxuyurdu:<\/p>\n

Da\u011flara qar ya\u011f\u0131td\u0131,<\/p>\n

K\u00fcl\u0259k g\u0259ldi da\u011f\u0131td\u0131… ha – ha- ha. Buna n\u0259 deyirs\u0259n?<\/p>\n

Amma M\u00f6hs\u00fcn\u00fcn \u0259n \u00e7ox q\u00fcrur duydu\u011fu Nax\u00e7\u0131van\u0131n m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259l\u0259ri idi.<\/p>\n

-D\u00fcnyan\u0131n tarixi Nax\u00e7\u0131vandan ba\u015flay\u0131b, bunu, b\u0259y\u0259m, bilmirsiz? Nuhun g\u0259misi G\u0259miqayada l\u00f6vb\u0259r sal\u0131b da.<\/p>\n

Zeynal:<\/p>\n

-G\u0259mi o da\u011f ba\u015f\u0131na nec\u0259 d\u0131rma\u015f\u0131b? – dey\u0259 m\u0259sumcas\u0131na soru\u015furdu.<\/p>\n

M\u00f6hs\u00fcn:<\/p>\n

-Ay bisavad, b\u0259s e\u015fitm\u0259mis\u0259n ki, bir vaxtlar oralar d\u0259nizmi\u015f, orda h\u0259tta bir qayaya bal\u0131qqula\u011f\u0131 da p\u0259r\u00e7im olub. Ora qalxa bils\u0259niz g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259ksiniz ki, da\u015flar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 kosmosla ba\u011fl\u0131 \u015f\u0259kill\u0259r var.<\/p>\n

-B\u0259lk\u0259m, s\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcn d\u0259 el\u0259 kosmosdan t\u0259\u015frif g\u0259tirmis\u0259n yer \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259?!<\/p>\n

M\u00f6hs\u00fcn Zeynal\u0131n s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 m\u0259h\u0259l qoymadan davam edirdi:<\/p>\n

-Nuhun q\u0259bri orda. Vaxt\u0131yla B\u0259hruz K\u0259ng\u0259rli \u00e7\u0259kib bu q\u0259brin \u015f\u0259klini. Can\u0131m s\u0259n\u0259 desin, \u018fshabi – K\u0259f orda. Qurani-K\u0259rimd\u0259 b\u0259hs olunur e \u018fshabi – K\u0259fd\u0259n.<\/p>\n

-Ora \u018fshabi – K\u0259f deyil, osob\u0131 kefdi, – dey\u0259 ona sata\u015fd\u0131 Zeynal.<\/p>\n

\u00a0M\u00f6hs\u00fcn yen\u0259 \u015f\u0259kili dostunun atmacas\u0131n\u0131 qulaqard\u0131na vurub X\u0131mraddan dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n

-X\u0131mrad deyil\u0259n yerd\u0259n bir f\u0259vvar\u0259 f\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131r, saat\u0131n\u0131 onunla qura bil\u0259rs\u0259n, d\u00fcz h\u0259r saatdan bir, \u0259qr\u0259b \u0259qr\u0259b \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 yerd\u0259n g\u00f6y\u0259 qaynar su f\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131r. Bu sizin Soyuq bulaq deyil e, Zeynal, el\u0259 bil yerin dibind\u0259 birisi oturub saatla suyun yer \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xmas\u0131n\u0131 idar\u0259 edir. Bu m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259 deyil, n\u0259di?<\/p>\n

M\u00f6hs\u00fcn s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259riyl\u0259 m\u0259ni el\u0259 ovsunlam\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, ilk f\u00fcrs\u0259td\u0259 he\u00e7 vaxt olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bu \u0259fsan\u0259vi diyara ba\u015f \u00e7\u0259km\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim. Amma, do\u011frusu, m\u0259ni X\u0131mr\u0131d \u00e7a\u011flayan\u0131ndan v\u0259 G\u0259miqayadan daha art\u0131q, M\u00f6hs\u00fcn\u00fcn dilind\u0259n d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259n Diri Baba c\u0259lb edirdi. M\u0259r\u0259z\u0259d\u0259 Diri Baba t\u00fcrb\u0259sini g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n

Bu bar\u0259d\u0259 el aras\u0131nda g\u0259z\u0259n \u0259fsan\u0259ni d\u0259 e\u015fitmi\u015fdim; guya ki, Diri Baba m\u00f6min bir \u00f6vliya imi\u015f, v\u0259fat edir, basd\u0131r\u0131rlar, s\u0259h\u0259risi g\u00fcn g\u0259lib g\u00f6r\u00fcrl\u0259r ki, h\u0259min bu t\u00fcrb\u0259sind\u0259 dip-diri namaz q\u0131l\u0131r. Ad\u0131 da o vaxtdan Diri Baba qal\u0131r. Bel\u0259 bir s\u00f6hb\u0259ti D\u0259rb\u0259ndd\u0259 d\u0259 e\u015fitmi\u015fdim. D\u0259rb\u0259ndd\u0259 m\u0259\u015fhur Q\u0131rxlar q\u0259biristanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 var, q\u0131rxlar q\u0131rx islam \u015f\u0259hididir ki, ba\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 k\u0259sibl\u0259r. Sonra c\u0259s\u0259dl\u0259rini arabalara y\u0131\u011f\u0131b m\u0259zarl\u0131\u011fa aparanda bir d\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcbl\u0259r ki, q\u0131rx\u0131 da sap-sa\u011flam, at belind\u0259, arabalar\u0131n qaba\u011f\u0131nda \u00e7ap\u0131r. Bir vaxtlar \u00f6l\u00fcmd\u0259n sonra h\u0259yat, \u00f6l\u00fcb dirilm\u0259k m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259l\u0259riyl\u0259 \u00e7ox maraqlan\u0131rd\u0131m, bu \u0259fsan\u0259l\u0259ri d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00e7\u00fcn na\u011f\u0131l kimi yox, ger\u00e7\u0259klik kimi izah etm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. Nax\u00e7\u0131vandak\u0131 Diri Baba haqq\u0131nda s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259r d\u0259 m\u0259ni ilk \u00f6nc\u0259 el\u0259 ad\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259 c\u0259lb etdi. Kim idi bu adam, niy\u0259 ona D\u0130R\u0130 deyirdil\u0259r? M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 ondayd\u0131 ki, he\u00e7 M\u00f6hs\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 onu g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015fdi, ancaq haqq\u0131nda s\u00f6yl\u0259n\u0259nl\u0259ri e\u015fitmi\u015fdi.<\/p>\n

Deyil\u0259n\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, o da \u00f6vliya, pir imi\u015f v\u0259 150 ya\u015f\u0131 varm\u0131\u015f. Nec\u0259 dey\u0259rl\u0259r, Nadiri taxtda gor\u00fcb, Qacar\u0131 qundaqda…<\/p>\n

M\u00f6hs\u00fcn etiraf edirdi ki, Diri Baba haqq\u0131nda s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259ri \u0259sas\u0259n atas\u0131ndan v\u0259 babas\u0131ndan e\u015fidib, amma onlar\u0131n he\u00e7 \u00f6zl\u0259ri d\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u0259yibl\u0259r onu. Deyil\u0259n\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, Xaraba Gilan deyil\u0259n q\u0259dim \u015f\u0259h\u0259rin viran\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 bir h\u00fccr\u0259d\u0259 t\u0259k-t\u0259nha ya\u015fay\u0131rm\u0131\u015f. N\u0259 yeyirmi\u015f, n\u0259 i\u00e7irmi\u015f, – he\u00e7 k\u0259sin x\u0259b\u0259ri yoxmu\u015f. Yaln\u0131z bir n\u0259f\u0259r, birc\u0259 n\u0259f\u0259r, – onun da ya\u015f\u0131 doxsan\u0131 \u00e7oxdan \u00f6tm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, – ayda bir d\u0259f\u0259 Diri baban\u0131n ziyar\u0259tin\u0259 ged\u0259rmi\u015f. Onun m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tl\u0259rini, t\u00f6vsiyy\u0259l\u0259rini camaata \u00e7atd\u0131rarm\u0131\u015f. B\u0259zil\u0259ri el\u0259 g\u00fcman edirmi\u015f ki, \u00fcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, bel\u0259 bir adam yoxdu, \u0259fsan\u0259di, na\u011f\u0131ld\u0131, kims\u0259 bunu hans\u0131 s\u0259b\u0259bd\u0259ns\u0259 uydurub camaat aras\u0131nda yay\u0131b.<\/p>\n

M\u00f6hs\u00fcn\u0259 dedim ki, Nax\u00e7\u0131vana yolum d\u00fc\u015fs\u0259 m\u00fctl\u0259q onunla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259liy\u0259m.<\/p>\n

Zeynal d\u0259rhal:<\/p>\n

– Ay hay – dedi – Diri Baba el\u0259 y\u00fcz \u0259lli il oturub s\u0259ni g\u00f6zl\u0259yirmi\u015f.<\/p>\n

Amma q\u0259rib\u0259 d\u0259 olsa, M\u00f6hs\u00fcn bu ist\u0259yim\u0259 daha ciddi yana\u015fd\u0131. \u0130\u015f el\u0259 g\u0259tirdi ki, Universitetl\u0259rl\u0259 m\u00fcbadil\u0259 sazi\u015fin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, m\u0259ruz\u0259 etm\u0259k\u00e7\u00fcn Nax\u00e7\u0131vana getm\u0259li oldum. \u018fvv\u0259lc\u0259 M\u00f6hs\u00fcn\u00fcn m\u0259n\u0259 qo\u015fulmaq fikri yoxdu.<\/p>\n

-Bax, – dedim, – Mirz\u0259 C\u0259lil r\u0259hm\u0259tliyin Qurban\u0259li b\u0259yi kimi el\u0259 hey m\u0259ni qonaq \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131n, indi m\u0259niml\u0259 getm\u0259s\u0259n, ad\u0131n\u0131 Qurban\u0259li b\u0259y qoyacam.<\/p>\n

Bir az n\u0259m-num ed\u0259nd\u0259n sonra M\u00f6hs\u00fcn, dem\u0259, el\u0259 bir him\u0259 b\u0259ndmi\u015f kimi, raz\u0131la\u015fd\u0131 v\u0259 Zeynal da, t\u0259bii ki, can-ba\u015fla biz\u0259 qo\u015fuldu.<\/p>\n

Uzun s\u00f6z\u00fcn q\u0131sas\u0131, il\u0131q bir sentyabr g\u00fcn\u00fcnd\u0259 Nax\u00e7\u0131vana u\u00e7duq. M\u00f6hs\u00fcn, do\u011frudan da, \u00e7ox qonaqp\u0259r\u0259st imi\u015f. \u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259, ma\u015fallah, xeyli qohum-qarda\u015f\u0131 varm\u0131\u015f, bu g\u00fcn bu evd\u0259 ziyaf\u0259t, sabah ba\u015fqa yerd\u0259… Xalxal me\u015f\u0259si, Batabat, Ordubad\u0131n ba\u011flar\u0131, nehr\u0259mlil\u0259rin x\u00fcsusi mehriban\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131… \u00d6mr\u00fcmd\u0259 ilk d\u0259f\u0259 dadd\u0131\u011f\u0131m t\u0259amlar – \u018frzuman k\u00fcft\u0259si, so\u011fan dolmas\u0131, ball\u0131 qay\u011fanaq… Amma m\u0259nim fikrim-zikrim Diri Baban\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259k idi. Bunun bir yolunu tapmal\u0131yd\u0131m. M\u00f6hs\u00fcn yaz\u0131\u011f\u0131n z\u0259hl\u0259sini o q\u0259d\u0259r t\u00f6k\u00fcrd\u00fcm ki, dey\u0259s\u0259n, \u00fcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, bu Diri Baba s\u00f6hb\u0259tini m\u0259n\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fma\u011f\u0131ndan pe\u015fman olmu\u015fdu. Amma m\u0259n d\u0259 \u0259l \u00e7\u0259k\u0259n deyildim. Oxu atm\u0131san, yay\u0131 gizl\u0259tm\u0259. Bel\u0259 mistik \u0259hvalatlar h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 m\u0259ni qeyri-adi cazib\u0259 q\u00fcvv\u0259siyl\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kirdi, q\u0259rib\u0259, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn d\u0259 tam d\u0259rk ed\u0259 bilm\u0259diyim hallara d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fcm. X\u0259st\u0259lik kimiydi bu, m\u00fctl\u0259q ist\u0259diyimi bulub \u015f\u0259fa tapmay\u0131nca sakit olmayacaqd\u0131m… O q\u0259d\u0259r inad el\u0259dim ki, ax\u0131rda bir vasit\u0259\u00e7i vasit\u0259siyl\u0259 o biri vasit\u0259\u00e7iy\u0259, onun vasit\u0259siyl\u0259 ba\u015fqa birisiyl\u0259 \u0259laq\u0259 yarad\u0131b, bel\u0259 \u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259-\u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259 g\u0259lib o doxsan ya\u015fl\u0131 adama \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131q.<\/p>\n

N\u0259 g\u00f6rk\u0259mind\u0259, n\u0259 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rind\u0259, n\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131qlar\u0131nda he\u00e7 bir qeyri-adilik, q\u0259rib\u0259lik yoxdu. Ha\u00e7ansa g\u0259ncliyind\u0259 s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fc i\u015fl\u0259yib. \u0130yirmi ildi t\u0259qa\u00fcd\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b, ya\u015f\u0131 da doxsan yox, c\u0259misi 82 idi.<\/p>\n

Yaln\u0131z t\u0259k bir q\u0259rib\u0259lik oldu. M\u0259ni g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 diqq\u0259tl\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 bax\u0131b:<\/p>\n

\u00a0– Dey\u0259s\u0259n, s\u0259ni hardasa g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m, – dedi.<\/p>\n

M\u0259lum oldu ki, \u00f6mr\u00fc boyu Nax\u00e7\u0131vandan \u00e7\u0131xmay\u0131b, m\u0259n d\u0259 ilk d\u0259f\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015f\u0259m bura, m\u0259ni harda g\u00f6r\u0259 bil\u0259rdi?<\/p>\n

Bir q\u0259rib\u0259 sual da verdi:<\/p>\n

-Yan\u0131nda \u015f\u0259klin var?<\/p>\n

-Pasportumdak\u0131 \u015f\u0259klimd\u0259n ba\u015fqas\u0131 yoxdu yan\u0131mda.<\/p>\n

-O tind\u0259 fotoqraf M\u00fcrs\u0259l var, ver b\u00f6y\u00fcts\u00fcn.<\/p>\n

Bunun n\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259r\u0259k oldu\u011funu bilm\u0259d\u0259n, h\u0259r halda, dediyin\u0259 \u0259m\u0259l etdim, \u015f\u0259kli b\u00f6y\u00fctd\u00fcrd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n

\u015e\u0259kli ald\u0131, uzun zaman bax\u0131b cibin\u0259 qoydu. He\u00e7 n\u0259 dem\u0259di v\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 boyun olmad\u0131.<\/p>\n

Bak\u0131ya qay\u0131tma\u011f\u0131ma iki g\u00fcn qal\u0131rd\u0131. Daha Diri Baban\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259yim\u0259 he\u00e7 bir \u00fcmidim qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ax\u0131r\u0131nc\u0131 g\u00fcn M\u00f6hs\u00fcngilin g\u00fcll\u00fc-\u00e7i\u00e7\u0259kli h\u0259y\u0259tl\u0259rind\u0259 k\u00f6m\u00fcrl\u00fc samovardan s\u00fczd\u00fckl\u0259ri p\u00fcrr\u0259ngi \u00e7ay\u0131 i\u00e7\u0259rk\u0259n – ax\u0131r ki, M\u00f6hs\u00fcn \u00e7aya \u00e7ay dem\u0259y\u0259 \u00f6yr\u0259nmi\u015fdi – darvaza d\u00f6y\u00fcld\u00fc.<\/p>\n

\u015e\u0259klimi cibin\u0259 qoyan qoca g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. M\u0259ni q\u0131ra\u011fa \u00e7\u0259kdi, p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lt\u0131yla qula\u011f\u0131ma:<\/p>\n

-Sabah Diri Baban\u0131n ziyar\u0259tin\u0259 aparacam s\u0259ni, – dedi, – amma he\u00e7 k\u0259s bilm\u0259sin.<\/p>\n

– Ax\u0131, sabah tezd\u0259n Bak\u0131ya u\u00e7uram.<\/p>\n

-Biletini d\u0259yi\u015f. Bel\u0259 f\u00fcrs\u0259t y\u00fcz ild\u0259 bir d\u00fc\u015f\u0259r. Amma m\u0259bad\u0259 kim\u0259s\u0259 bir \u015fey dey\u0259s\u0259n.<\/p>\n

-B\u0259s m\u0259n M\u00f6hs\u00fcngil\u0259 n\u0259 deyim, niy\u0259 bileti qaytard\u0131m, s\u0259ninl\u0259 hara gedir\u0259m.<\/p>\n

-Narahat olma. Onlar he\u00e7 n\u0259 hiss etm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k.<\/p>\n

\n

S\u018fKK\u0130Z\u0130NC\u0130 F\u018fS\u0130L<\/p>\n

\n

D\u0130R\u0130 BABA VARMIYDI, YOXMUYDU?<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cB\u0259zil\u0259ri el\u0259 z\u0259nn edirl\u0259r ki, sufil\u0259rin gizli bir q\u00fcdr\u0259ti var, b\u0259z\u0259n h\u0259tta dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rlar ki, sufil\u0259r bir bax\u0131\u015fla kiml\u0259ri is\u0259 a\u011f\u0131r m\u0259r\u0259zd\u0259n sa\u011falda ya h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259 bilir\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u0130DR\u0130S \u015eAH. \u00abSufizm\u00bb kitab\u0131ndan<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cDzen – mistikdir – ayr\u0131 c\u00fcr ola da bilm\u0259zdi, ona g\u00f6r\u0259 ki, dzen \u015e\u0259rq m\u0259d\u0259niyy\u0259tinin t\u0259m\u0259lidir. M\u0259hz bu mistisizm Q\u0259rbin \u015e\u0259rq zehniyyyat\u0131n\u0131 anlama\u011f\u0131na mane olur. \u00c7\u00fcnki Q\u0259rb zehniyyat\u0131n\u0131n \u0259sas c\u0259h\u0259ti m\u0259ntiq v\u0259 m\u0259ntiqi t\u0259hlildir. \u015e\u0259rq mistisizmi is\u0259, bu sayaq m\u0259ntiqi q\u0259bul etmir\u201d.<\/p>\n

D. T. SUDZUK\u0130 (XX \u0259sr yapon alimi),<\/p>\n

\u00abDzen buddizmin \u0259s\u0259slar\u0131\u00bb kitab\u0131ndan<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cEkzistensializm – \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn b\u00fct\u00fcn s\u0259yl\u0259rini Allah\u0131 inkara x\u0259rcl\u0259mi\u015f ateizm deyildir. O, ba\u015fqa bir h\u0259qiq\u0259ti b\u0259yan edir: Allah vard\u0131rsa bel\u0259, bu he\u00e7 n\u0259yi d\u0259yi\u015fmir. Bu o dem\u0259k deyil ki, biz Allaha inan\u0131r\u0131q. M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 Allah\u0131n olub – olmamas\u0131nda deyil. M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 ondad\u0131r ki, insan \u00f6z\u00fc \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc yaratmal\u0131d\u0131r. Allah\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 t\u0259sdiq olunsa bel\u0259, bu, insan\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n xilas ed\u0259 bilm\u0259z. Bu m\u0259nada ekzistensializm – nikbinlikdir, insana inamd\u0131r v\u0259 insan\u0131 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t\u0259 s\u00f6vq etm\u0259kdir\u201d.<\/p>\n

JAN POL SARTR (XX \u0259sr frans\u0131z filosofu v\u0259 yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131) \u00abEkzistensializm – humanizmdir\u00bb essesind\u0259n<\/p>\n

\n

S \u0259h\u0259r 9-da M\u00f6min\u0259 Xatun m\u0259qb\u0259r\u0259sinin yan\u0131ndayd\u0131m. \u00d6z\u00fc q\u0259sd\u0259n el\u0259 yer ni\u015fan vermi\u015fdi ki, asan tap\u0131m. 82 ya\u015fl\u0131 \u0259ski s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fc y\u00fck ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131n\u0131n s\u00fckan\u0131 arxas\u0131nda m\u0259ni g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi. Bu ya\u015fda ma\u015f\u0131n s\u00fcrm\u0259sin\u0259 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb qald\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Yol boyu ikimiz d\u0259 susurduq. Nax\u00e7\u0131van\u0131n \u0259srar\u0259ngiz m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259l\u0259ri, h\u0259r n\u00f6qt\u0259d\u0259n g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n \u0130lanl\u0131 da\u011f, insan \u0259liyl\u0259 yaranmam\u0131\u015f, amma \u00e7a\u011fda\u015f m\u00fcc\u0259rr\u0259d s\u0259n\u0259t n\u00fcmun\u0259l\u0259rini – modernistl\u0259rin heyk\u0259ll\u0259rini and\u0131ran qalaq-qalaq qayalara, r\u0259ng verib – r\u0259ng alan da\u011flara heyran olmamaq m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyildi… \u018ffsan\u0259 – insanla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn h\u0259y\u0259can\u0131 v\u0259 t\u0259la\u015f\u0131 i\u00e7ind\u0259ydim. Bir yandan, Diri Baba haqq\u0131nda s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259rd\u0259n sonra onunla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k \u0259n d\u0259runi ist\u0259yim idi, bir yandan da, bu g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f xofland\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131, qorxudurdu m\u0259ni. \u00dcr\u0259yim\u0259 damm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 ki, bu g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f b\u00fct\u00fcn h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259c\u0259k.<\/p>\n

Ma\u015f\u0131n eni\u015fli-yoxu\u015flu yollarda at\u0131l\u0131b – d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fckc\u0259 i\u00e7imd\u0259 n\u0259s\u0259 sanki q\u0131r\u0131l\u0131b t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fc. H\u0259m d\u0259 bu, fiziki \u0259zalar\u0131n sars\u0131lmas\u0131 deyildi, el\u0259 bil ruhumda n\u0259 is\u0259 amans\u0131z z\u0259lz\u0259l\u0259nin ba\u015f ver\u0259c\u0259yinin \u00f6nduyumu idi.<\/p>\n

Q\u0259dim bir insan m\u0259sk\u0259ninin x\u0259rab\u0259l\u0259ri g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc. Damlar\u0131 da\u011f\u0131l\u0131b yaln\u0131z iki-\u00fc\u00e7 u\u00e7uq divar\u0131 qalm\u0131\u015f evl\u0259r… Ancaq bir qap\u0131 v\u0259 iki p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259 yeri qalm\u0131\u015f ev… da\u015flar\u0131 di\u015fl\u0259r t\u0259k t\u00f6k\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f hasar, bir hiss\u0259si yerin dibin\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015f bar\u0131… Ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131m\u0131z bu viran\u0259lik i\u00e7ind\u0259 az -\u00e7ox salamat qalm\u0131\u015f bir daxman\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnd\u0259 dayand\u0131. S\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fc ma\u015f\u0131ndan d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, i\u015far\u0259 etdi ki, m\u0259n d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm. Qap\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259rdi, h\u0259r \u015feyi yaln\u0131z i\u015far\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259rirdi, el\u0259 bil dan\u0131\u015fmaqdan, s\u0259sini \u00e7\u0131xarmaqdan qorxub \u00e7\u0259kinirdi.<\/p>\n

Q\u0259rib\u0259 bir i\u015f etdi, cibind\u0259n qara g\u00fcn\u0259\u015flik \u00e7e\u015fm\u0259yi \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b m\u0259n\u0259 uzatd\u0131:<\/p>\n

-Tax, – dedi, m\u0259n d\u0259 bunun s\u0259b\u0259bini soru\u015fmadan tilsim\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f kimi, onun dediyin\u0259 \u0259m\u0259l etdim, eyn\u0259yi taxd\u0131m.<\/p>\n

\u00d6z\u00fc \u00e7\u00f6ld\u0259 qald\u0131, m\u0259n ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 \u0259y\u0259r\u0259k g\u00f6st\u0259rdiyi dar, al\u00e7aq qap\u0131dan h\u00fccr\u0259y\u0259 girdim. H\u00fccr\u0259nin ala-qaran\u0131q i\u00e7\u0259risi yaln\u0131z \u00f6l\u0259ziy\u0259n \u015famla i\u015f\u0131qlan\u0131rd\u0131. Qara eyn\u0259k taxd\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan h\u0259r yan daha da qaranl\u0131q g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. Otaqda – \u0259g\u0259r bura otaq dem\u0259k olard\u0131sa – yal\u0131n-yal\u00e7\u0131n \u00e7\u0131lpaq divarlar aras\u0131nda d\u00f6\u015f\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 h\u0259sir sal\u0131nm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. H\u0259sirin o ba\u015f\u0131nda d\u00f6\u015f\u0259kc\u0259nin \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 barda\u015f qurub oturmu\u015f adam\u0131 zorla sez\u0259 bildim…<\/p>\n

Ona qoca da dem\u0259k olmazd\u0131. Sanki Zaman\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fc qocal\u0131b bu qarab\u0259niz adam\u0131n \u0259sm\u0259r sif\u0259tin\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Hindli g\u00f6zl\u0259ri kimi d\u0259rin v\u0259 q\u0259mli g\u00f6zl\u0259ri baxd\u0131\u011f\u0131 adam\u0131n i\u00e7in\u0259 n\u00fcfuz edirdi. D\u00fcma\u011f sa\u00e7lar\u0131 v\u0259 b\u0259yaz saqqal\u0131 az qala z\u0259nci sif\u0259ti r\u0259ngind\u0259 siyah \u00fcz\u00fcyl\u0259 t\u0259zad yarad\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Gavar Diri Baba dedikl\u0259ri bu adam el\u0259 bu idi… Bir an m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259ldi ki, qar\u015f\u0131mdak\u0131 canl\u0131 insan deyil, m\u00fcq\u0259vvad\u0131r, yaln\u0131z zil qara g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin ifad\u0259sind\u0259n diriliyi b\u0259lli olurdu.<\/p>\n

Susurdu. M\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259ldi ki, b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fcz el\u0259 bu c\u00fcr s\u00fckut i\u00e7ind\u0259 ke\u00e7\u0259c\u0259k v\u0259 bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t bir-birimizi uzun-uzad\u0131 seyr etdikd\u0259n sonra durub getm\u0259li olacam.<\/p>\n

Amma el\u0259 bu an Diri Baba fikirl\u0259rimi oxumu\u015f kimi bo\u011fuq, sanki \u0259srl\u0259rin d\u0259rinlikl\u0259rind\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259n s\u0259sl\u0259:<\/p>\n

-Xo\u015f g\u0259ldin, H\u00f6rm\u00fczd, – dedi.<\/p>\n

\u00abN\u0259d\u0259n m\u0259n\u0259 H\u00f6rm\u00fczd dedi, – dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm, – m\u0259nim ki, ad\u0131m ba\u015fqad\u0131r? Y\u0259qin, m\u0259ni kiminl\u0259s\u0259 \u00e7a\u015fd\u0131r\u0131b\u00bb<\/p>\n

-Ad\u0131m… – dey\u0259 s\u00f6z\u0259 ba\u015flamaq ist\u0259yirdim ki, s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc a\u011fz\u0131mda qoyub:<\/p>\n

-S\u0259nin ad\u0131n H\u00f6rm\u00fczd olmal\u0131d\u0131r, – dedi. El\u0259 q\u0259ti s\u0259sl\u0259 dedi ki, etiraz etm\u0259y\u0259 irad\u0259m \u00e7atmad\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u00abH\u00f6rm\u00fczd! Yax\u015f\u0131, qoy olsun H\u00f6rm\u00fczd. B\u0259s m\u0259n ona nec\u0259 m\u00fcracit edim? Diri Babam\u0131? \u00d6vliyam\u0131? Pirmi?\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u018fn asan yolu buldum:<\/p>\n

-Baba, – dedim, – s\u0259nin sirrin n\u0259d\u0259di?<\/p>\n

-Sirl\u0259ri bil\u0259n t\u0259k Allahd\u0131r, – dedi. – H\u0259zr\u0259t \u0259leyhiss\u0259lama buyurub ki, s\u0259n\u0259 ancaq ismar\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n bir hiss\u0259sini a\u00e7d\u0131q, ba\u015fqa hiss\u0259l\u0259ri d\u0259 var ki, onlardan x\u0259b\u0259r tutmayacaqsan. R\u0259sul \u0259leyhissalam da tap\u0131nanlara deyir ki, m\u0259n siz\u0259 dem\u0259dim ki, b\u00fct\u00fcn sirl\u0259ri bilir\u0259m. M\u0259n yaln\u0131z m\u0259n\u0259 nazil olan\u0131 sizl\u0259r\u0259 \u00e7atd\u0131r\u0131ram.<\/p>\n

-H\u0259r halda, bel\u0259 h\u0259yat s\u00fcrm\u0259yinizin bir s\u0259b\u0259bi var, – dedim, – n\u0259dir bu s\u0259b\u0259b?<\/p>\n

Vaxt hissini itirmi\u015fdim, bilm\u0259dim on d\u0259qiq\u0259mi, bir ne\u00e7\u0259 saatm\u0131 s\u00fcr\u0259n s\u00fckutdan sonra el\u0259 bir sual verdi ki, \u015fok v\u0259ziyy\u0259tin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n

-D\u0259d\u0259m Qorquddan x\u0259b\u0259rin var?<\/p>\n

Udqundum.<\/p>\n

-\u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, – dedim.<\/p>\n

-T\u0259p\u0259g\u00f6z yad\u0131ndad\u0131?<\/p>\n

Kim idi qar\u015f\u0131mdak\u0131 adam – sirli, \u0259fsan\u0259vi, inan\u0131lmaz bir qoca? Ya, b\u0259lk\u0259, min ya\u015fl\u0131 D\u0259d\u0259m Qorqudun \u00f6z\u00fc? Cavab\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259d\u0259n yeni bir sual verdi:<\/p>\n

-Kimdi T\u0259p\u0259g\u00f6z?<\/p>\n

-Kimdi ki? – suala sualla cavab verdim.<\/p>\n

Sual\u0131ma m\u0259h\u0259l qoymadan:<\/p>\n

-Niy\u0259 intihar etm\u0259k ist\u0259yir? – dey\u0259 soru\u015fdu.<\/p>\n

M\u0259kt\u0259b ill\u0259rind\u0259 oxudu\u011fum \u00abKitabi-D\u0259d\u0259m Qorqud\u00bbu xat\u0131rlama\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Dey\u0259s\u0259n, m\u0259tnd\u0259 T\u0259p\u0259g\u00f6z\u00fcn \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u0259k ist\u0259m\u0259si haqq\u0131nda anla\u015f\u0131lmaz bir yer vard\u0131. Bird\u0259n-bir\u0259 el\u0259 bil beynimin i\u00e7ind\u0259 i\u015f\u0131q yand\u0131, dastandak\u0131 o par\u00e7a s\u00f6z-s\u00f6z, c\u00fcml\u0259-c\u00fcml\u0259 yadda\u015f\u0131ma qay\u0131td\u0131.<\/p>\n

-Bildin niy\u0259 \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u0259k ist\u0259yir \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc?<\/p>\n

-Yox.<\/p>\n

-\u00c7\u00fcnki T\u0259p\u0259g\u00f6zd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

Yen\u0259 bir \u015fey ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259dim.<\/p>\n

Qoca yen\u0259 fikirl\u0259rimi oxuyaraq:<\/p>\n

-\u0130nsan\u0131n iki g\u00f6z\u00fc olar, – dedi, -Se\u00e7ilmi\u015fl\u0259rin qafas\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc g\u00f6z d\u0259 var – b\u0259sir\u0259t g\u00f6z\u00fc. Bu g\u00f6z\u00fcyl\u0259 ba\u015fqalar\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6rm\u0259diyini g\u00f6r\u00fcr. \u00dc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc g\u00f6z o adamlar\u0131n k\u0259ll\u0259sinin i\u00e7ind\u0259dir. Amma T\u0259p\u0259g\u00f6z\u00fcn t\u0259k g\u00f6z\u00fc aln\u0131ndad\u0131r, \u00e7\u00f6ld\u0259dir. Bu g\u00f6zl\u0259 d\u00fcnyan\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn murdarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcr, amma b\u0259la ondad\u0131r ki, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n murdarl\u0131\u011f\u0131na, \u015e\u0259rin\u0259 \u015e\u0259rl\u0259 qalib g\u0259lm\u0259k ist\u0259yir. Yer \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259 b\u00fct\u00fcn \u015e\u0259ri, B\u0259lan\u0131 t\u00f6r\u0259d\u0259n insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n k\u00f6k\u00fcn\u00fc k\u0259sm\u0259k ist\u0259yir, bunu ed\u0259nd\u0259n sonra d\u00fcnyada t\u0259k qal\u0131b, t\u0259nhal\u0131\u011fa d\u00f6zm\u0259m\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn intihar etm\u0259k fikrin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr.<\/p>\n

\u00ab\u018fc\u0259b i\u015f\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fck, – dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. – M\u0259n sirli, \u0259fsan\u0259vi bir varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259y\u0259 can at\u0131rd\u0131m, bunun yerind\u0259 folklor\u015f\u00fcnasl\u0131q haqq\u0131nda m\u00fchazir\u0259 dinl\u0259m\u0259li oldum\u00bb.<\/p>\n

Bu d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 fikrimi oxuyub:<\/p>\n

-T\u0259l\u0259sm\u0259, H\u00f6rm\u00fczd, – dedi. Bu s\u0259f\u0259r s\u0259si arxamdan g\u0259lirdi, halbuki, \u00f6n\u00fcmd\u0259 \u0259yl\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdi.<\/p>\n

– Ha\u00e7ansa g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yini bilirdim. G\u00f6zl\u0259yirdim. S\u0259nin g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin sirri var, \u015f\u0259klin\u0259 baxan kimi g\u00f6rd\u00fcm bunu. \u015e\u0259kild\u0259 h\u0259r \u015feyi d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259k olur, amma g\u00f6z\u00fcn ifad\u0259si t\u0259krars\u0131zd\u0131r, barmaq izl\u0259ri kimi, g\u00f6z\u00fcn bax\u0131\u015f\u0131 da yaln\u0131z t\u0259k bir \u015f\u0259xs\u0259 m\u0259nsubdur, ba\u015fqa he\u00e7 k\u0259s\u0259, – s\u0259s indi d\u0259 yan t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n g\u0259lirdi, el\u0259 bil ota\u011fa m\u00fcxt\u0259lif s\u0259mtl\u0259rd\u0259 qoyulmu\u015f dinamikl\u0259r vard\u0131, Diri Baban\u0131n dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131qlar\u0131 h\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 ayr\u0131 yandan e\u015fidilirdi. Adama el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, dan\u0131\u015fan \u0259fsan\u0259vi qoca yox, bu qaranl\u0131q h\u00fccr\u0259nin \u00f6z\u00fcd\u00fcr, divarlar\u0131d\u0131r, d\u00f6\u015f\u0259m\u0259sidir, tavan\u0131d\u0131r. Divarlar, tavan soru\u015furdu:<\/p>\n

– D\u00fcnyan\u0131n b\u0259las\u0131 n\u0259di?<\/p>\n

-M\u0259n n\u0259 bilim, o q\u0259d\u0259rdir ki, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n b\u0259las\u0131.<\/p>\n

– B\u0259la odur ki, d\u00fcnyada pis g\u00f6z, yaman g\u00f6z yax\u015f\u0131 g\u00f6zd\u0259n \u00e7oxdur v\u0259 g\u00fccl\u00fcd\u00fcr. Yax\u015f\u0131 g\u00f6z\u00fcn y\u00fcz bax\u0131\u015fla ed\u0259 bilm\u0259diyi yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 yaman g\u00f6z bir an\u0131n i\u00e7in\u0259 darmada\u011f\u0131n ed\u0259 bilir. G\u00f6z d\u0259ym\u0259k, g\u00f6z\u0259 g\u0259tirm\u0259k, g\u00f6zd\u0259n salmaq, g\u00f6z\u00fc g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u0259m\u0259k deyirik, g\u00f6z\u00fc d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k, g\u00f6z\u00fcm su i\u00e7mir deyirik… G\u00f6z, g\u00f6z, g\u00f6z… N\u0259d\u0259n bel\u0259 deyirl\u0259r? \u00c7\u00fcnki ham\u0131s\u0131 g\u00f6zd\u0259ndi. Xeyir d\u0259, \u015e\u0259r d\u0259, H\u00f6rm\u00fczd.<\/p>\n

-M\u0259n\u0259 n\u0259d\u0259n H\u00f6rm\u00fczd deyirs\u0259n, baba?<\/p>\n

-S\u0259n H\u00f6rm\u00fczds\u0259n, h\u0259l\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn bunu bilm\u0259s\u0259n d\u0259. \u0130nsan \u00f6z\u00fc \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc yarad\u0131r, ist\u0259s\u0259, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc H\u00f6rm\u00fczd kimi, ist\u0259s\u0259, \u018fhriman kimi yeti\u015fdir\u0259 bil\u0259r. \u0130nsan\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 h\u0259r ikisi var – H\u00f6rm\u00fczd d\u0259, \u018fhriman da…<\/p>\n

Bird\u0259n ba\u015fqa g\u00f6zl\u0259nilm\u0259z sual verdi:<\/p>\n

– Allaha inan\u0131rsan?<\/p>\n

-Allaha? -bilmirdim bu suala nec\u0259 cavab verim ki, qocan\u0131 naraz\u0131 salmay\u0131m. M\u0259nim yerim\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fc cavab verdi:<\/p>\n

-\u0130nan\u0131rsan, amma Allaha \u00e7oxlu suallar\u0131n da var. Nec\u0259 olur ki, m\u00fcs\u0259lmanlar\u0131n da, is\u0259vil\u0259rin d\u0259, mus\u0259vil\u0259rin d\u0259 qadir Allah\u0131 d\u00fcnyada bu q\u0259d\u0259r \u0259dal\u0259tsiliy\u0259, haqs\u0131zl\u0131\u011fa, z\u00fclm\u0259 yol verir, y\u0259ni \u015feytan\u0131n \u00f6hd\u0259sind\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259 bilmir he\u00e7 c\u00fcr? Do\u011frudur, \u0259r\u0259nl\u0259r deyib ki, g\u0259r\u0259k q\u0259lbind\u0259 Allaha o q\u0259d\u0259r m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259tin olsun ki, orda \u0130blis\u0259 yer qalmas\u0131n. Amma \u015eeytan, \u0130blis kimdir ki, Allah\u0131n yaratd\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u00fcnyada bel\u0259 at oynats\u0131n? Bu sual\u0131na bilirmis\u0259nmi kim s\u0259lis cavab verib?<\/p>\n

-Bilmir\u0259m.<\/p>\n

-Hardan bil\u0259s\u0259n… h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 q\u0259fl\u0259t yuxusundasan. B\u0259\u015f\u0259rin bu \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck sorusuna babam\u0131z Z\u0259rd\u00fc\u015ft cavab verib. Z\u0259rd\u00fc\u015ft, bax, bu torpaqda basd\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f Nuh pey\u011f\u0259mb\u0259rin n\u0259v\u0259si, m\u0259nim d\u0259 uludan ulu babamd\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Yen\u0259 d\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131mdak\u0131 fikri oxuyub.<\/p>\n

-Yox, d\u0259li olmam\u0131\u015fam, – dedi. – Z\u0259rd\u00fc\u015ft babam\u0131z \u00f6yr\u0259dir ki, d\u00fcnyan\u0131 iki q\u00fcvv\u0259 idar\u0259 edir – Xeyir v\u0259 \u015e\u0259r. Xeyri ya \u015e\u0259ri se\u00e7m\u0259k is\u0259, insan\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n as\u0131l\u0131d\u0131r… Bu g\u00fcn d\u0259 d\u00fcnyada H\u00f6rm\u00fczdl\u0259 \u018fhriman bir-biriyl\u0259 \u00e7arp\u0131\u015f\u0131r, c\u0259ng edir. Gah o \u00fcst\u00fcn \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r, gah bu… S\u0259nin g\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 H\u00f6rm\u00fczd i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Amma qar\u015f\u0131na \u00e7ox s\u0131naqlar \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b v\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xacaq. \u018fhriman h\u0259r zaman s\u0259ni \u00f6z t\u0259r\u0259fin\u0259 \u00e7\u0259km\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015facaq. Ta u\u015faql\u0131qdan \u00f6mr\u00fcn boyu rastla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u0259dal\u0259tsizlikl\u0259ri, t\u0259hqirl\u0259ri, inciklikl\u0259rini bir-bir yad\u0131na salacaq, bunlar\u0131n qisas\u0131n\u0131 alma\u011fa t\u0259hrik ed\u0259c\u0259k s\u0259ni. Amma bilm\u0259lis\u0259n ki, \u015e\u0259r\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 \u015e\u0259r \u00fcsullar\u0131yla sava\u015fmaq \u015e\u0259ri art\u0131rmaqd\u0131r… Q\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 nifr\u0259t yarad\u0131r. M\u0259\u011flub \u00f6c almaq ehtiras\u0131yla ya\u015fay\u0131r. O da intiqam al\u0131b qalib g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259, bu z\u0259nciri he\u00e7 v\u0259d\u0259 q\u0131rmaq m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olmayacaq. H\u00fczura qovu\u015fmaq q\u0259l\u0259b\u0259d\u0259n d\u0259, m\u0259\u011flubiyy\u0259td\u0259n d\u0259 imtina etm\u0259kdi. Birisi d\u00f6y\u00fc\u015fd\u0259 min adama qalib g\u0259libs\u0259, ba\u015fqa birisi yaln\u0131z \u00f6z \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 z\u0259f\u0259r \u00e7al\u0131bsa, m\u0259hz odur \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck qalib.<\/p>\n

\u00abO m\u0259ni t\u0259hqir etdi, al\u00e7altd\u0131, incitdi\u00bb. Bu fikirl\u0259ri i\u00e7ind\u0259 saxlayan adam\u0131n kini-k\u00fcdur\u0259ti azalm\u0131r. Bel\u0259 fikirl\u0259rd\u0259n azad olan insan\u0131n nifr\u0259ti bitir, i\u00e7i asud\u0259l\u0259\u015fir. D\u00fcnyada he\u00e7 vaxt nifr\u0259t nifr\u0259tl\u0259 m\u0259\u011flub edilmir.<\/p>\n

Q\u0259dim \u00e7inlil\u0259r daha m\u00fcdrik idil\u0259r, deyirdil\u0259r ki, n\u0259 Xeyrin, n\u0259 \u015e\u0259rin t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259 dur. H\u0259l\u0259 Xeyirl\u0259 \u015e\u0259rin \u00e7arp\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259lm\u0259mi\u015fd\u0259n \u00f6nc\u0259 nec\u0259ydins\u0259 onu yad\u0131na sal, o c\u00fcr ol. \u00c7inlil\u0259r\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, \u0259slind\u0259, n\u0259 Xeyir var, n\u0259 \u015e\u0259r. \u0130kisi birdir.<\/p>\n

-Onda b\u0259s b\u0259d \u0259m\u0259ll\u0259ri savab i\u015fl\u0259rd\u0259n nec\u0259 ay\u0131rasan, baba?<\/p>\n

-Q\u0259lbinin s\u0259siyl\u0259. Q\u0259lbini dinl\u0259. Do\u011fru se\u00e7imi q\u0259lbin ed\u0259c\u0259k. Allah q\u0259lbinin i\u00e7ind\u0259di. D\u0259d\u0259m Qorqudu sal yad\u0131na. \u00ab\u00c7ox cahill\u0259r s\u0259ni g\u00f6yd\u0259 arar, yerd\u0259 ist\u0259r, S\u0259n xud m\u00f6m\u00fcnl\u0259rin k\u00f6nl\u00fcnd\u0259s\u0259n\u00bb.<\/p>\n

Diri Baba \u0259lini uzad\u0131b divardan iri bir \u015fey g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb m\u0259n\u0259 uzatd\u0131, baxd\u0131m ki, g\u00f6z muncu\u011fudu. He\u00e7 vaxt bu yek\u0259likd\u0259 g\u00f6z muncu\u011fu g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015fdim.<\/p>\n

– Evind\u0259 asarsan. Z\u0259rd\u00fc\u015ft babam\u0131z\u0131n \u0259yyam\u0131ndan n\u0259sil-n\u0259sil g\u0259lib m\u0259n\u0259 yeti\u015fib. Bu g\u00f6z muncu\u011fu s\u0259ni \u018fhriman\u0131n fitn\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n qoruyacaq. S\u0259n d\u0259 insanlar\u0131 \u018fhrimandan qoruyacaqsan.<\/p>\n

D\u00f6nd\u00fcy\u00fcn \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 bir alim var, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u0259n q\u0259dim xal\u00e7as\u0131 onun \u0259lind\u0259di. Bu xal\u00e7an\u0131n nax\u0131\u015flar\u0131nda kainat\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn sirl\u0259ri, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u0259vv\u0259li v\u0259 ax\u0131r\u0131 bar\u0259d\u0259 bilgil\u0259r toxunub. Onlar\u0131 da yaman g\u00f6zd\u0259n qoruyacaqsan. \u018fshafi k\u0259f\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xarsan. Ondan sonra n\u0259 olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 demir\u0259m. \u00d6z\u00fcn g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n.<\/p>\n

Diri baba ha\u00e7an susdu, ha\u00e7an qeyb\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kild\u0131, bilm\u0259dim. B\u00fct\u00fcn varl\u0131\u011f\u0131m sanki m\u00fcc olub qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Otaqda bir m\u0259n idim, bir \u00e7\u0131lpaq divarlar, h\u0259sir \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 bo\u015f qalm\u0131\u015f d\u00f6\u015f\u0259kc\u0259, bir d\u0259 \u00f6l\u0259ziy\u0259n, amma h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 s\u00f6nm\u0259y\u0259n \u015fam. \u015eam\u0131n i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 da titr\u0259yib s\u00f6nd\u00fc. G\u00f6z-g\u00f6z\u00fc g\u00f6rm\u0259y\u0259n zifiri qaranl\u0131\u011fa q\u0259rq oldum. Birt\u0259h\u0259r qap\u0131n\u0131 tap\u0131b \u00e7\u00f6l\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m. \u00c7\u00f6l d\u0259 zil z\u00fclm\u0259t idi. Cec\u0259 ha\u00e7an d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, y\u0259ni do\u011frudanm\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn\u00fc burda olmu\u015fdum?<\/p>\n

M\u0259ni bura g\u0259tir\u0259n yuk ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 da yoxdu. Gec\u0259 yar\u0131s\u0131, bayqu\u015flar ulayan, \u0259caib k\u00f6lg\u0259l\u0259r dola\u015fan bu vahim\u0259li yerd\u0259n nec\u0259 qurtulacaqd\u0131m?<\/p>\n

O g\u00fcnd\u0259n, o gec\u0259d\u0259n ne\u00e7\u0259 ill\u0259r ke\u00e7ib, amma h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 d\u0259qiq dey\u0259 bilm\u0259r\u0259m, bu g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f do\u011frudanm\u0131 ba\u015f vermi\u015fdi, ya m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015fdi, yaxud da yox, diri g\u00f6zl\u00fc say\u0131qlamalar\u0131mda g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc m\u0259n\u0259, ger\u00e7\u0259klikd\u0259 ya\u015famam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m bunlar\u0131n he\u00e7 birini? Bilmir\u0259m, h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 bilmir\u0259m.<\/p>\n

Xaraba Gilandan yenid\u0259n M\u00f6hs\u00fcngil\u0259 nec\u0259 qay\u0131tm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m, niy\u0259 onlar ne\u00e7\u0259 vaxt harada oldu\u011fumu soru\u015fmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar, he\u00e7 buna t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259nm\u0259mi\u015fdil\u0259r d\u0259. Bel\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r ki, b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar m\u0259nim q\u0131zd\u0131rmal\u0131 x\u0259yallar\u0131md\u0131r, x\u0259st\u0259 beynimi doldurmu\u015f fantaziyalard\u0131r. Olsun, qoy lap bel\u0259 olsun. \u00c7ox \u0259c\u0259b…<\/p>\n

B\u0259s onda evimin divar\u0131ndan as\u0131lm\u0131\u015f o iri g\u00f6z m\u00fcncu\u011fu hardand\u0131? M\u0259n ki, onu he\u00e7 vaxt, he\u00e7 yerd\u0259n almam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m.<\/p>\n

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DOQQUZUNCU F\u018fS\u0130L<\/p>\n

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KEFL\u0130 \u0130SG\u018fND\u018fR D\u018f D\u00dcZ DEY\u0130RM\u0130\u015e<\/p>\n

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\u201c\u00d6l\u00fcl\u0259r! \u015eeyxin s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 \u0259m\u0259l el\u0259m\u0259yiz, dirilm\u0259yiniz.. \u0130ndi siz burada rahatca yat\u0131bs\u0131n\u0131z. He\u00e7 d\u00fcnyadan x\u0259b\u0259riniz yoxdur. Ax\u0131 diril\u0259nd\u0259n sonra bu q\u0259biristanl\u0131qda ki, qalmayacaqs\u0131n\u0131z: ist\u0259y\u0259c\u0259ksiniz ki, da\u011f\u0131las\u0131n\u0131z evl\u0259riniz\u0259. \u00c7ox \u0259c\u0259b. Da\u011f\u0131ld\u0131n\u0131z. \u0130ndi bir deyin ki, sizi h\u0259l\u0259 ev\u0259 qoyacaqlarm\u0131? Gedib g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259ksiniz ki, evl\u0259rinizin qap\u0131lar\u0131 ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r. – A\u00e7 qap\u0131n\u0131! M\u0259n bu evin sahibiy\u0259m. -S\u0259nin burada he\u00e7 zad\u0131n yoxdur! Qarda\u015f\u0131n Hac\u0131 F\u0259r\u0259c arvad\u0131n\u0131 al\u0131b, evin\u0259 d\u0259 sahib \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b. \u0130til c\u0259h\u0259nn\u0259m\u0259!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0M.C. M\u018fMM\u018fDQULUZAD\u018f, \u00ab\u00d6l\u00fcl\u0259r\u00bb<\/p>\n

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M \u0259h\u0259ll\u0259miz\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131qca dua edir\u0259m ki, ka\u015f he\u00e7 k\u0259s\u0259, he\u00e7 bir tan\u0131\u015f\u0131ma-bili\u015fim\u0259 rast g\u0259lm\u0259yim. Yox, y\u0131rt\u0131q – yamaql\u0131 \u015falvar\u0131mdan utanm\u0131rd\u0131m. Ondan qorxurdum ki, m\u0259ni g\u00f6r\u00fcb tan\u0131yanlar\u0131n \u00fcr\u0259yi ged\u0259r. Ax\u0131, basd\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f meyitl\u0259r \u00fc\u00e7l\u0259ri \u00e7\u0131xar – \u00e7\u0131xmaz \u015f\u0259h\u0259rin k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259riyl\u0259 veyill\u0259nmirl\u0259r. Bir yandan baxanda da, bu ax\u015fam vaxt\u0131, qaranl\u0131q k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 kimdi m\u0259ni tan\u0131yan? \u015e\u00fck\u00fcr, he\u00e7 kim\u0259 rast g\u0259lm\u0259d\u0259n m\u0259nzilim\u0259 \u00e7atd\u0131m. Lift\u0259 girib 3-c\u00fc m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259nin d\u00fcym\u0259sini basd\u0131m. M\u0259nzilimin kodunu – 346-n\u0131 y\u0131\u011f\u0131rd\u0131m ki, q\u0259fl\u0259t\u0259n g\u00f6z\u00fcm qap\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259ki l\u00f6vh\u0259y\u0259 sata\u015fd\u0131:<\/p>\n

PS\u0130XOLOJ\u0130 ARA\u015eDIRMALAR V\u018f YARDIM M\u018fRK\u018fZ\u0130,<\/p>\n

ZAK\u0130R ZAK\u0130ROV.<\/p>\n

Aya\u011f\u0131m\u0131n alt\u0131ndan yer qa\u00e7d\u0131. Birt\u0259h\u0259r \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc \u0259l\u0259 al\u0131b qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131m. Qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131b ota\u011fa girm\u0259yiml\u0259 qad\u0131n q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131 eyni ana d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

Tor\u015ferin z\u0259if i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda ancaq onu g\u00f6rd\u00fcm ki, yaz\u0131 masam\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 uzanm\u0131\u015f \u00e7\u0131lpaq qad\u0131n l\u00fct ki\u015fini it\u0259l\u0259yib s\u0131\u00e7rad\u0131, o biri ota\u011f\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131na t\u0259r\u0259f qa\u00e7d\u0131. Qad\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7\u0131lpaq belind\u0259 g\u00f6y\u00fcmt\u00fcl, yumru-yumru k\u00fcp\u0259 izl\u0259rini d\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n

Zakir yer\u0259 atd\u0131\u011f\u0131 xalat\u0131n\u0131 – xalat\u0131m\u0131 t\u0259l\u0259sik qap\u0131b ay\u0131b yerl\u0259rini \u00f6rtd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

-Kims\u0259n? – dey\u0259 baxd\u0131. Dey\u0259s\u0259n, h\u0259l\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 inanm\u0131rd\u0131. Sonra bir an i\u00e7ind\u0259 tok vurmu\u015f kimi yer\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6kd\u00fc. Arxas\u0131n\u0131 divara s\u00f6yk\u0259yib yava\u015f-yava\u015f d\u00f6\u015f\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 s\u00fcr\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Dili topuq \u00e7ala-\u00e7ala:<\/p>\n

-S… i… z.. – dey\u0259 bildi.<\/p>\n

B\u0259r\u0259l\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259ri meyit g\u00f6zl\u0259ri kimi donub qald\u0131. Sanki g\u00f6zl\u0259ri m\u0259chul bir n\u00f6qt\u0259y\u0259 zill\u0259nmi\u015fdi.<\/p>\n

– B\u0259li, m\u0259n\u0259m, – dedim, – s\u0259nin kimi nankorun \u015fefi v\u0259 elmi r\u0259hb\u0259ri…<\/p>\n

Zakird\u0259n s\u0259s-s\u0259mir \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131rd\u0131. N\u0259 dey\u0259c\u0259kdi ax\u0131, n\u0259 dey\u0259 bil\u0259rdi? D\u0259fnimd\u0259n \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcn ke\u00e7m\u0259mi\u015f \u0259n ist\u0259kli t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259m, az qala, b\u00fct\u00fcn bildikl\u0259rimi beynin\u0259 doldurdu\u011fum nan\u0259cib m\u0259nzil-ofisimi m\u0259nims\u0259mi\u015f, qap\u0131da ad\u0131m yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f l\u00f6vh\u0259ni qoparm\u0131\u015f, \u00f6z ad\u0131n\u0131 yazm\u0131\u015f (yeni l\u00f6vh\u0259 sifari\u015f edib asma\u011f\u0131 n\u0259 tez bacar\u0131b), h\u0259l\u0259 \u00fcst\u0259lik, q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 zolaql\u0131 xalat\u0131m\u0131 da m\u0259nims\u0259mi\u015fdi.<\/p>\n

Arxas\u0131nda yuxusuz gec\u0259l\u0259r ke\u00e7irdiyim yaz\u0131 masam\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 at\u0131l\u0131b-d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc, guya el\u0259 bu otaqda divan, o biri otaqda \u00e7arpay\u0131 yoxdu… Yoxsa, bu da bir n\u00f6v sap\u0131q keyfidir?<\/p>\n

Arxadan g\u00f6rs\u0259m d\u0259, xan\u0131m\u0131n kim oldu\u011funu z\u0259nn etmi\u015fdim. D\u0259fnimd\u0259n bir-iki g\u00fcn qabaq e\u015fitmi\u015fdim ki, s\u0259t\u0259lc\u0259m olub, belin\u0259 k\u00fcp\u0259 sald\u0131r\u0131b. R\u00fcbab\u0259ydi. \u00c7ox uzaqlarda qalm\u0131\u015f ill\u0259rd\u0259 m\u0259nim d\u0259 xo\u015fum g\u0259lirdi ondan. M\u0259nim yegan\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131l\u0131qs\u0131z m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259timdi. \u018flimi dizin\u0259 qoyma\u011fa izn verm\u0259y\u0259n, dem\u0259, aya\u011f\u0131 s\u00fcr\u00fc\u015fg\u0259nin, g\u00f6z\u00fc da\u011f\u0131n\u0131\u011f\u0131n biriymi\u015f.<\/p>\n

-S\u0259nd\u0259 he\u00e7 vicdandan \u0259s\u0259r – \u0259lam\u0259t yoxdu, Zakir? G\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259ydin, q\u0131rx\u0131m demir\u0259m, he\u00e7 olmasa yeddim \u00e7\u0131xayd\u0131 da…<\/p>\n

\u00c7\u00f6mb\u0259lib oturmu\u015f Zakird\u0259 he\u00e7 bir h\u0259yat \u0259lam\u0259ti qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Prostratsiyada idi. M\u0259n d\u0259 s\u00f6zl\u0259rimi sanki bo\u015flu\u011fa deyirdim:<\/p>\n

-Buna g\u00f6r\u0259mi m\u0259ni it\u0259l\u0259yib \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u0259k ist\u0259din, Zakir? Evimi, i\u015fimi m\u0259nims\u0259m\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, tamamlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m ara\u015fd\u0131rmam\u0131, k\u0259\u015ffimi \u00f6z ad\u0131na \u00e7\u0131xma\u011f\u00e7\u00fcn? M\u0259nzilimi q\u0259hb\u0259xanaya \u00e7evirm\u0259k\u00e7\u00fcn? – q\u0259h\u0259r m\u0259ni bo\u011furdu, – m\u0259nim \u00f6vlad\u0131m yoxdu, s\u0259ni do\u011fma o\u011flum bilirdim. Q\u0259bird\u0259 yatanda da a\u011fl\u0131ma g\u0259lm\u0259zdi ki, m\u0259ni arxamdan vurub \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259d\u0259n k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259y\u0259 it\u0259l\u0259y\u0259n s\u0259ns\u0259nmi\u015f.<\/p>\n

Zakirin a\u011f appaq a\u011farm\u0131\u015f \u00fcz\u00fc meyit sif\u0259tiydi. Yaz\u0131\u011f\u0131m g\u0259ldi ona h\u0259tta.<\/p>\n

Stulun \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qoydu\u011fu \u015falvar\u0131n\u0131, k\u00f6yn\u0259yini \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 atd\u0131m:<\/p>\n

-Geyin, itil g\u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n, – dedim. – Ged\u0259nd\u0259 l\u00f6vh\u0259ni d\u0259 qap\u0131dan qopart…<\/p>\n

O biri ota\u011fa ke\u00e7dim. R\u00fcbab\u0259 \u0259ll\u0259riyl\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6rt\u00fcb i\u00e7in-i\u00e7in a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131. Geyinmi\u015fdi. M\u0259nim xo\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m p\u00fcsteyi-ya\u015f\u0131l paltar\u0131nda idi.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7\u0259ri girdiyimi duyub ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qald\u0131rd\u0131. El\u0259 bil he\u00e7 n\u0259y\u0259 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131, h\u0259r \u015fey el\u0259 bel\u0259 d\u0259 olmal\u0131yd\u0131. \u00dc\u00e7 g\u00fcn \u0259vv\u0259l basd\u0131rd\u0131qlar\u0131 adam\u0131n indi bu \u0259caib qiyaf\u0259d\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259si adid\u0259n adi bir \u015feydi sanki…<\/p>\n

El\u0259 ancaq yava\u015f s\u0259sl\u0259:<\/p>\n

-Ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n, ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n, – deyirdi.<\/p>\n

-Ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamal\u0131 bir \u015feyim qalmay\u0131b, – dedim, – dur \u00e7\u0131x get burdan.<\/p>\n

R\u00fcbab\u0259 dinm\u0259z – s\u00f6yl\u0259m\u0259z otaqdan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131, bir azdan \u00e7\u00f6l qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fitdim.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015f ota\u011f\u0131ma ke\u00e7dim. Zakir orda yoxdu. Ha\u00e7an getmi\u015fdi? Qap\u0131 s\u0259sini e\u015fitm\u0259mi\u015fdim, g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, lap ehmall\u0131ca \u00f6rt\u00fcb \u00e7\u00f6l qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131.<\/p>\n

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ONUNCU F\u018fS\u0130L<\/p>\n

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\u018fSHAB\u0130 – K\u018fF<\/p>\n

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\u201cMa\u011faraya s\u0131\u011f\u0131nm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 o cavanlar. Dedil\u0259r: R\u0259bbimiz, d\u0259rgah\u0131ndan bir r\u0259hm\u0259t b\u0259x\u015f el\u0259 v\u0259 bir \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f yolu tap d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fcz bu i\u015fd\u0259n… \u0130ll\u0259rl\u0259 yat\u0131zd\u0131rd\u0131q ma\u011farada onlar\u0131. Sonra da oyatd\u0131q ki, iki d\u0259st\u0259d\u0259n hans\u0131 biri yatd\u0131qlar\u0131 m\u00fcdd\u0259ti daha d\u00fcz hesablayacaq. – N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r yatd\u0131n\u0131z, – dedi birisi, – yatd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bir g\u00fcn, ya bir g\u00fcnd\u0259n d\u0259 az olar, – dedil\u0259r.<\/p>\n

\u011e Ma\u011farada \u00fc\u00e7 y\u00fcz il qald\u0131 onlar. Qald\u0131qlar\u0131 m\u00fcdd\u0259ti Allah daha yax\u015f\u0131 bilir. G\u00f6yl\u0259rin, yerin g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259zliyini t\u0259kc\u0259 O bilir… \u201d<\/p>\n

QURAN\u0130 – K\u018fR\u0130M. K\u0259hf sur\u0259si (18)<\/p>\n

\u00c7evir\u0259n N\u0259riman Qas\u0131m o\u011flu<\/p>\n

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\u201cQ\u0259rib\u0259dir ki, Ruh \u00f6z v\u0259t\u0259nini v\u0259 do\u011fuldu\u011fu yerl\u0259ri xat\u0131rlam\u0131r. Buludlar ulduzlar\u0131 \u00f6rt\u00fcb gizl\u0259tdiyi kimi, D\u00fcnya da Ruhun g\u00f6zl\u0259rini qapadan yuxudur\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0C\u018fLAL\u018fDD\u0130N RUM\u0130<\/p>\n

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\u201cOnu anlamal\u0131y\u0131q ki, d\u00fcnya bizim qavraya bil\u0259c\u0259yimizd\u0259n daha geni\u015fdir. Biz\u0259 d\u00fcnyan\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259yi v\u0259 anlama\u011f\u0131 \u00f6yr\u0259dibl\u0259r. Amma onu dem\u0259yibl\u0259r ki, g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fcz reall\u0131q d\u00fcnyan\u0131 d\u0259rk etm\u0259yin vasit\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n ancaq biridir… Avropa zehniyyat\u0131 yaln\u0131z g\u00f6z\u00fcn beyn\u0259 \u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fckl\u0259rini q\u0259bul edir. Bir d\u00fcnyadan ba\u015fqa, p\u00fcnhan d\u00fcnyaya ke\u00e7m\u0259k\u00e7\u00fcn g\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259rinin d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda olma\u011f\u0131 bacarmal\u0131san\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0KARLOS KASTANEDA,<\/p>\n

Amerika etnoqraf\u0131 v\u0259 yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131,<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00abBa\u015fqa d\u00fcnyan\u0131n qap\u0131lar\u0131\u00bb kitab\u0131ndan<\/p>\n

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B ileti d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259nd\u0259n sonra b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn\u00fc \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 veyill\u0259ndim. Mirz\u0259 C\u0259lilin, H\u00fcseyn Cavidin muzeyl\u0259rin\u0259 getdim. S\u0259h\u0259risi g\u00fcn d\u0259 M\u00f6hs\u00fcn\u00fcn day\u0131s\u0131 M\u0259d\u0259t ki\u015finin \u00abJiqulisi\u00bbnd\u0259 \u018fshabi – K\u0259f\u0259 yolland\u0131m. \u018fshabi – K\u0259fin \u0259t\u0259yind\u0259 M\u0259d\u0259t ki\u015finin bir balaca \u00e7ayxanas\u0131 vard\u0131. M\u0259d\u0259t ki\u015fi:<\/p>\n

-Da\u011fa d\u0131rma\u015fmadan bir bizim \u00e7aydan nu\u015f el\u0259, – dedi.<\/p>\n

Yen\u0259 bu\u011flanan samavar, armudu st\u0259kanlar, xoruz quyru\u011fu m\u0259xm\u0259ri \u00e7ay, lumu, yen\u0259 ceviz m\u00fcr\u0259bb\u0259si…<\/p>\n

M\u00f6hs\u00fcn:<\/p>\n

-Bax, qaqa\u015f, – dedi, – da\u011fa \u00f6z\u00fcn d\u0131rma\u015f, m\u0259nim el\u0259 h\u00f6vl\u00fcm yoxdu. Bax, bu \u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131r\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcrs\u0259n, tut ucunnan apar\u0131b s\u0259ni d\u00fcz \u018fshabi – K\u0259f\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xaracaq. Lap k\u0259ll\u0259 \u00e7arxa \u00e7atanda g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n -bax \u018fshab\u0131 K\u0259f orad\u0131. Da\u011fyunus \u0259hvalat\u0131n\u0131 e\u015fitmis\u0259n?<\/p>\n

-E\u015fitmi\u015f\u0259m, – des\u0259m d\u0259 M\u00f6hs\u00fcn dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131:<\/p>\n

-S\u0259yyahlar ora \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b, bir hovur dinc\u0259lm\u0259k ist\u0259yibl\u0259r, yuxuya gedibl\u0259r. Oyananda g\u00f6r\u00fcbl\u0259r ki, itl\u0259rinin skeleti qal\u0131b, sonra da m\u0259lum olur ki, \u00fc\u00e7 y\u00fcz il ke\u00e7ib. Qurani – K\u0259rimd\u0259 deyilir: Haqq – t\u0259ala \u018fshabi – K\u0259fd\u0259 yatanlar\u0131 sa\u011fa-sola \u00e7evirir ki, \u0259tl\u0259rini torpaq yem\u0259sin. Bax ha, orda yuxuya – zada getm\u0259.<\/p>\n

Yoxu\u015fu qalxmaq do\u011frudan da k\u0259l\u0259yimi k\u0259sirdi. A\u011f\u0131r-a\u011f\u0131r qalxsam da t\u00f6y\u015f\u00fcy\u00fcrd\u00fcm. – Ay s\u0259ni, – dey\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc m\u0259z\u0259mm\u0259t edirdim, – 25 ya\u015f\u0131nda da\u011fa bel\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tinlikl\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131rsan, \u0259llind\u0259 neyl\u0259y\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n?<\/p>\n

M\u00f6hs\u00fcn el\u0259 \u0259trafl\u0131 t\u0259svir etmi\u015fdi ki, \u018fshabi – K\u0259fi o saat tan\u0131d\u0131m. D\u00f6rd t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n qayalar ba\u015f-ba\u015fa vermi\u015fdi, amma bir-birin\u0259 kip yap\u0131\u015fmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar, aralar\u0131nda S\u0259maya xeyli yer qoymu\u015fdular. El\u0259 bil t\u0259ndirin i\u00e7ind\u0259ydin, istisin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 yox, qurulu\u015funa g\u00f6r\u0259. Q\u0259rib\u0259 auras\u0131 vard\u0131 bu yerin. Ya, b\u0259lk\u0259, Da\u011fyunus \u0259fsan\u0259sinin t\u0259sirind\u0259n idi – burda sanki Zaman dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, Vaxt yox olmu\u015fdu. El\u0259 bil bura b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00f6t\u00fcb – ke\u00e7\u0259n \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fc, b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcn yerl\u0259ri unutdururdu. N\u0259 \u0259vv\u0259li – n\u0259 ax\u0131r\u0131 olan sonsuzlu\u011fa qovu\u015furdun burda. Ucsuz-bucaqs\u0131z kainatda bir z\u0259rr\u0259cik oldu\u011funu burda daha ayd\u0131n hiss edirdin. Ba\u015f -ba\u015fa vermi\u015f qayalar g\u00f6yl\u0259r\u0259 p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259 saxlam\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259 ya b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 Haqq\u0131n d\u0259rgah\u0131na a\u00e7\u0131lan qap\u0131.<\/p>\n

Bir hovur n\u0259f\u0259simi d\u0259rm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn quru yer\u0259 oturdum. Belimi qayaya s\u00f6yk\u0259dim. G\u00f6zl\u0259rimin a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131q \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015f qapaqlar\u0131 qapanma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131. Yuxudam\u0131 e\u015fidirdim bu s\u0259sl\u0259ri.<\/p>\n

-Harda qald\u0131 qona\u011f\u0131n? – M\u0259d\u0259tin s\u0259siydi.<\/p>\n

-Harda olsa g\u0259lib \u00e7\u0131xar, – bu da M\u00f6hs\u00fcn\u00fcn s\u0259siydi.<\/p>\n

Yuxudam\u0131, oyaql\u0131qdam\u0131 e\u015fidirdim bu dan\u0131\u015f\u0131qlar\u0131?! Halbuki, m\u0259n da\u011f\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda, onlar \u0259t\u0259yind\u0259, uzaqlarda idi, h\u0259l\u0259 \u00fcst\u0259lik, ba\u015fqa s\u0259sl\u0259r d\u0259 qar\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131 bu dan\u0131\u015f\u0131qlara… \u00e7ay ist\u0259y\u0259n kim, hesab\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 \u00e7\u0259k dey\u0259n kim, borclu borclunun sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131n ist\u0259r – dey\u0259n kim.<\/p>\n

G\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc a\u00e7anda gec\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. \u018fshabi – K\u0259fin \u00abtavan\u0131nda\u00bb g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n ulduzlar el\u0259 yax\u0131n idil\u0259r ki, sanki ovcunun i\u00e7in\u0259 ala bil\u0259rdin. He\u00e7 vaxt, he\u00e7 yerd\u0259 bu irilikd\u0259 ulduzlar g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015fdim.<\/p>\n

Durub g\u0259rn\u0259\u015fdim. V\u00fccudumda \u0259vv\u0259ll\u0259r hiss etm\u0259diyim bir \u015feyl\u0259r hiss edirdim, el\u0259 bil a\u011f\u0131rla\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m, bir az da yorulmu\u015fdum.<\/p>\n

Ma\u011faram\u0131yd\u0131 bura, kaham\u0131, h\u0259r n\u0259ydis\u0259, \u018fshabi – K\u0259f adlanan bu yerd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xanda mat qald\u0131m. Da\u011f\u0131n lap \u0259t\u0259yind\u0259n d\u00fcz bura pill\u0259kan qalx\u0131rd\u0131. Aman Allah, ha\u00e7an qurdular bu pill\u0259kan\u0131 c\u0259misi bir ne\u00e7\u0259 saat \u0259rzind\u0259? \u018fvv\u0259ld\u0259n vard\u0131sa, m\u0259n niy\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015fdim? M\u00f6hs\u00fcngil d\u0259 dem\u0259mi\u015fdi, min \u0259ziyy\u0259tl\u0259 da\u011fa d\u0131rma\u015fmaqdansa, pill\u0259kanla rahatca qalxard\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Pill\u0259kanlarla enm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m. A\u015fa\u011f\u0131da da h\u0259r \u015fey d\u0259yi\u015fmi\u015fdi. \u00c7ayxanan\u0131n yerind\u0259 t\u0259z\u0259 q\u0259\u015f\u0259ng pavilyon tikilmi\u015fdi. Pi\u015ftaxtan\u0131n ard\u0131nda el\u0259 h\u0259min M\u0259d\u0259t ki\u015fi dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ona yana\u015fd\u0131m:<\/p>\n

– Salam, M\u0259d\u0259t day\u0131, – dedim.<\/p>\n

T\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 baxd\u0131:<\/p>\n

-Ha\u00e7andan day\u0131n oldum? El\u0259 bir ya\u015fda olar\u0131q da.<\/p>\n

-M\u0259d\u0259t deyils\u0259n?<\/p>\n

-M\u0259d\u0259t\u0259m. N\u0259 olsun? S\u0259n kims\u0259n?<\/p>\n

-M\u0259ni tan\u0131mad\u0131n? B\u0259s M\u00f6hs\u00fcn hardad\u0131?<\/p>\n

-Hans\u0131 M\u00f6hs\u00fcn?<\/p>\n

-Nec\u0259 y\u0259ni hans\u0131 M\u00f6hs\u00fcn? Bayaq birlikd\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259dik bura? Bibin o\u011flu deyil M\u00f6hs\u00fcn?<\/p>\n

M\u0259d\u0259t qa\u015f-qaba\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131:<\/p>\n

-M\u00f6hs\u00fcn bibio\u011flu be\u015f il bundan qabaq r\u0259hm\u0259t\u0259 getdi.<\/p>\n

-Nec\u0259 y\u0259ni r\u0259hm\u0259t\u0259 getdi. D\u0259li olmusan? M\u0259ni dolam\u0131san? Piyan deyils\u0259n ki…<\/p>\n

-Piyan \u00f6z\u00fcns\u0259n ki, bel\u0259-bel\u0259 zarafatlar edirs\u0259n.<\/p>\n

-S\u0259n M\u00f6hs\u00fcn\u00fcn day\u0131s\u0131 M\u0259d\u0259t deyils\u0259n?<\/p>\n

-Day\u0131s\u0131 m\u0259nim atam idi, o da bu il r\u0259hm\u0259t\u0259 getdi.<\/p>\n

-S\u0259ni ona ox\u015fatd\u0131m.<\/p>\n

-H\u0259, ham\u0131 deyir ki, atama yaman ox\u015fay\u0131ram. El\u0259 bil bir alman\u0131 iki b\u00f6l\u00fcbl\u0259r – deyill\u0259r. Atam\u0131 tan\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131n?<\/p>\n

-Tan\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131m, – dedim, – Da\u011fy\u00fcnus \u0259fsan\u0259si?<\/p>\n

-N\u0259?<\/p>\n

-He\u00e7.<\/p>\n

K\u00fcncd\u0259ki masadan \u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131rd\u0131lar:<\/p>\n

-M\u0259d\u0259t, \u00e7ay\u0131n n\u0259 oldu?<\/p>\n

Divara \u00fc\u00e7 r\u0259ngli bayraq as\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

-Bu n\u0259 bayraqd\u0131 bel\u0259?<\/p>\n

M\u0259d\u0259t madd\u0131m-madd\u0131m \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 baxd\u0131:<\/p>\n

-S\u0259n hardan g\u0259lmis\u0259n, a ki\u015fi, fil qula\u011f\u0131nda yatm\u0131san?<\/p>\n

-Yox, – dedim, – \u018fshabi – K\u0259fd\u0259 yuxuya getmi\u015fdim.<\/p>\n

M\u0259d\u0259t he\u00e7 n\u0259 dem\u0259di, \u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc \u00e7evir\u0259nd\u0259 g\u00fczg\u00fcd\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm ki, \u015f\u0259had\u0259t barma\u011f\u0131n\u0131 gicgah\u0131na qoyub f\u0131rlay\u0131r. Bir az aral\u0131 50 -55 ya\u015flar\u0131nda bir ki\u015fi d\u0259 dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u00dcz\u00fc m\u0259n\u0259 tan\u0131\u015f g\u0259lirdi.<\/p>\n

Bird\u0259n a\u011fl\u0131ma g\u0259ldi ki, bu da, y\u0259qin, m\u0259n\u0259m.<\/p>\n

\n

ON B\u0130R\u0130NC\u0130 F\u018fS\u0130L<\/p>\n

\n

QIRMANC<\/p>\n

\n

\u201c\u018fg\u0259r bir d\u0259f\u0259 kimins\u0259 q\u0259lbini incitmis\u0259ns\u0259, sonralar bu adama y\u00fcz yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131q el\u0259, yen\u0259 d\u0259 o incikliyinin qisas\u0131n\u0131 alacaq s\u0259nd\u0259n. \u00c7\u00fcnki ox yaradan \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131l\u0131r, amma yara \u00f6z\u00fc qal\u0131r ax\u0131… \u201d<\/p>\n

S\u018fD\u0130 \u015e\u0130RAZ\u0130<\/p>\n

\n

\u018f hliman O g\u00fcn\u0259 x\u00fcsusi haz\u0131rla\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u00dc\u00e7 ay qabaqdan ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 qara kostyumu O g\u00fcn\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r bir d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 geym\u0259mi\u015fdi. \u0130ki g\u00fcn \u0259vv\u0259l is\u0259, a\u011f k\u00f6yn\u0259k, m\u0259ndilli q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 saya qalstuk, \u00e7\u0259km\u0259 v\u0259 h\u0259tta t\u0259z\u0259 corab alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

D\u00fcn\u0259n sa\u00e7\u0131n\u0131 vurdurmu\u015f, bu g\u00fcn s\u0259liq\u0259yl\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc q\u0131rxm\u0131\u015f, du\u015f q\u0259bul etmi\u015f, odekalonla \u0259tirl\u0259nmi\u015fdi. Geyinib- kecinib b\u0259d\u0259nn\u00fcma g\u00fczg\u00fcn\u00fcn qaba\u011f\u0131nda duranda \u00f6z\u00fc-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc b\u0259y\u0259nmi\u015fdi, \u00abd\u00fc\u015fm\u0259nl\u0259rin g\u00f6z\u00fc \u00e7\u0131xs\u0131n\u00bb – dey\u0259 m\u0259mnun – m\u0259mnun g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259mi\u015fdi.<\/p>\n

\u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259nl\u0259rin\u0259 g\u00f6z da\u011f\u0131 onun pal-paltar\u0131 deyil, bu g\u00fcn \u015f\u0259ksiz-\u015f\u00fcbh\u0259siz qazanaca\u011f\u0131 elmi q\u0259l\u0259b\u0259siydi. O q\u0259d\u0259r pax\u0131llar\u0131, h\u0259s\u0259d \u00e7\u0259k\u0259nl\u0259ri, g\u00f6z\u00fc g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u0259y\u0259nl\u0259ri vard\u0131 ki. \u018fslind\u0259, onun \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn d\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fc g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u0259diyi adamlar az deyildi. Bu g\u00fcn ham\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n xoruzlar\u0131n\u0131 qoltuqlar\u0131na ver\u0259c\u0259kdi.<\/p>\n

D\u00fczd\u00fc, dan\u0131lmaz elmi d\u0259lil-s\u00fcbutlara r\u0259\u011fm\u0259n, 8 \u015fura \u00fczv\u00fcnd\u0259n \u00fc\u00e7\u00fc – \u0259n qat\u0131 ya\u011f\u0131lar\u0131 \u0259leyhin\u0259 dan\u0131\u015facaqd\u0131lar. Qalanlar\u0131n elmi vicdanlar\u0131na inan\u0131rd\u0131. R\u00fcbab\u0259 d\u0259 onlar\u0131n s\u0131ras\u0131ndayd\u0131. \u018fslind\u0259, R\u00fcbab\u0259 Elmi \u015furaya el\u0259 \u018fhliman\u0131n t\u00f6vsiyy\u0259siyl\u0259 sal\u0131nm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Do\u011frudu, bu, \u201cNizami\u201d kinoteatar\u0131ndak\u0131 o b\u0259dnam \u0259hvalatdan qabaq olmu\u015fdu. O vaxt R\u00fcbab\u0259d\u0259n yaman k\u0259sirdi. El\u0259 indi d\u0259 k\u0259sir. Amma o \u201cNizami\u201d kinosundan sonra aralar\u0131 bir az soyumu\u015fdu. R\u00fcbab\u0259nin aya\u011f\u0131 s\u0131n\u0131b x\u0259st\u0259xanada yatanda he\u00e7 ona ba\u015f da \u00e7\u0259km\u0259mi\u015fdi. \u00dcz\u00fc g\u0259lmirdi.<\/p>\n

Sonralar tez-tez bir-birl\u0259riyl\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131la\u015fsalar da, he\u00e7 vaxt o kinoteatrdak\u0131 m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259yl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 anla\u015fma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. N\u0259 R\u00fcbab\u0259, n\u0259 \u018fhliman… \u00abQ\u0259rib\u0259dir bu qad\u0131nlar, – dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc, – b\u00f6y\u00fck i\u015f olub, \u0259limi dizinin \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qoymu\u015fam. \u018fslind\u0259, qad\u0131n f\u0259xr etm\u0259lidir ki, seksual c\u0259h\u0259td\u0259n cazib\u0259lidir. Bizim qad\u0131nlar is\u0259, sanki bundan utan\u0131rlar, x\u0259cal\u0259t \u00e7\u0259kirl\u0259r ki, kimins\u0259 onlara tamah\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb. Riyakarl\u0131q, tam bir riyakarl\u0131q\u00bb.<\/p>\n

Ax\u0131, qad\u0131nlar\u0131n doxsan faizi – Freydin v\u0259 freydist aliml\u0259rin t\u0259cr\u00fcb\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n d\u0259 b\u0259lli olurdu bu- \u015f\u00fcuralt\u0131 ist\u0259kl\u0259rind\u0259 \u00fcstl\u0259rind\u0259 erk\u0259k y\u00fck\u00fcn\u00fc hiss etm\u0259yi arzulay\u0131rlar. Bu ifad\u0259nin h\u0259r m\u0259nas\u0131nda. Ya da \u0259ksin\u0259, erk\u0259yi \u00f6z yuk\u00fcyl\u0259 y\u00fckl\u0259m\u0259yi.<\/p>\n

Kitabxanas\u0131n\u0131n r\u0259fl\u0259ri aras\u0131nda saxlad\u0131\u011f\u0131, ara-s\u0131ra v\u0259r\u0259ql\u0259diyi \u00f6z\u0259l kitablar\u0131n ill\u00fcstrasiyalar\u0131nda erk\u0259k-qad\u0131n ili\u015fgil\u0259rinin y\u00fcz c\u00fcr a\u011flas\u0131\u011fmaz pozalar\u0131 vard\u0131.<\/p>\n

H\u0259r n\u0259ys\u0259, indi beynini bu g\u0259r\u0259ksiz \u015feyl\u0259rl\u0259 doldurmamal\u0131d\u0131r. G\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259mi\u015f elmi z\u0259f\u0259ri arzulad\u0131\u011f\u0131 qad\u0131nlar\u0131n da q\u0259lbl\u0259rini onun \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 a\u00e7acaqd\u0131.<\/p>\n

H\u0259r \u015fey d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcy\u00fc v\u0259 planla\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 kimi gedirdi. M\u0259ntiqinin v\u0259 b\u0259la\u011f\u0259tinin b\u00fct\u00fcn imkanlar\u0131n\u0131 i\u015f\u0259 salaraq parlaq bir \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f etdi. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 ilk d\u0259f\u0259 Elmi \u015furada m\u0259ruz\u0259d\u0259n sonra uzun zaman susmayan gurultulu alq\u0131\u015flar qopdu. Qocaman alim Qafarzad\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f\u0131nda:<\/p>\n

-\u00c7ox d\u0259y\u0259rli t\u0259dqiqatd\u0131r, – dedi, – ilk d\u0259f\u0259 okkultizm\u0259 bel\u0259 ciddi m\u00fcnasi\u0259t s\u0259rgil\u0259nir. Sovet d\u00f6n\u0259mi olsayd\u0131, bunu idealizm, xurafat kimi dam\u011falayard\u0131lar. Amma indi, \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr ki, h\u0259r m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259y\u0259 elmi c\u0259h\u0259td\u0259n yana\u015f\u0131r, ay\u0131q g\u00f6zl\u0259 baxa bilirik.<\/p>\n

Ham\u0131 bir-bir yana\u015f\u0131b \u0259lini s\u0131x\u0131r, t\u0259brik edirdi, daha m\u0259hr\u0259m olanlar ziyaf\u0259tin \u00fcnvan\u0131n\u0131 soru\u015furdu.<\/p>\n

S\u0259svem\u0259 gizli idi v\u0259 yar\u0131m saatdan sonra say\u0131c\u0131 n\u0259tic\u0259ni elan etdi: 8 n\u0259f\u0259rd\u0259n s\u0259kkizi d\u0259 \u0259leyhin\u0259 s\u0259s vermi\u015fdi. Y\u0259qin ki, h\u0259r birisi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f: m\u0259n pozum, qurdumu \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcm, o biril\u0259r pozmaz, in\u015fallah, ziyaf\u0259td\u0259n m\u0259hrum olmar\u0131q.<\/p>\n

Ham\u0131dan \u00e7ox t\u0259rif dey\u0259n qocaman alim Qafarzad\u0259 d\u0259 pozmu\u015fdu onu, R\u00fcbab\u0259 d\u0259… \u015euraya sald\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 R\u00fcbab\u0259!<\/p>\n

S\u0259sverm\u0259nin n\u0259tic\u0259l\u0259ri elan olunan anda \u018fhliman bird\u0259n k\u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 ac\u0131dan – ac\u0131 a\u011fr\u0131 hiss etdi. Bu g\u00f6yn\u0259m-g\u00f6yn\u0259m g\u00f6yn\u0259d\u0259n, yand\u0131r\u0131b yax\u0131c\u0131 q\u0131rmanc z\u0259rb\u0259l\u0259rinin a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131yd\u0131. Atas\u0131 d\u0259mir blya\u015fkal\u0131 me\u015fin k\u0259m\u0259riyl\u0259 balaca \u018fhliman\u0131n k\u00fcr\u0259yini q\u0131rmanclayanda eyn\u0259n bel\u0259 a\u011fr\u0131 hiss ed\u0259rdi. Atas\u0131 onu k\u0259m\u0259rl\u0259, anas\u0131n\u0131 yumruqla, \u015fill\u0259yl\u0259 d\u00f6y\u0259rdi. Anas\u0131 yalvarard\u0131: qurban olum, vurma, qaba\u011f\u0131nda \u00f6l\u00fcm, vurma. \u00d6z\u00fc d\u00f6y\u00fcl\u0259nd\u0259 d\u0259, o\u011flu d\u00f6y\u00fcl\u0259nd\u0259 d\u0259 bu s\u00f6zl\u0259ri dey\u0259rdi. Yalvar\u0131\u015flar\u0131 h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 \u018fhliman\u0131n qula\u011f\u0131ndayd\u0131. Balaca \u018fhliman is\u0259, \u00e7\u0131qq\u0131r\u0131n\u0131 da \u00e7\u0131xarmazd\u0131. Bu, atas\u0131n\u0131 cin at\u0131na mindirirdi:<\/p>\n

-N\u0259 zill\u0259mis\u0259n g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck… -K\u0259m\u0259r k\u0259m\u0259r dal\u0131nca (\u00abvurma, qurban\u0131n olum, balacad\u0131, tifildi, bilm\u0259yib, q\u0259l\u0259t el\u0259yib, yaz\u0131\u011f\u0131n g\u0259lsin, day el\u0259m\u0259z, vurma\u00bb).<\/p>\n

Zolaq-zolaq olmu\u015f k\u00f6rp\u0259 k\u00fcr\u0259yi.<\/p>\n

-N\u0259 bax\u0131rsan \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259, qanc\u0131\u011f\u0131n t\u00f6r\u0259m\u0259si… n\u0259 pis g\u00f6z\u00fcn var \u0259 s\u0259nin, s\u0259n bunun hikk\u0259sin\u0259 bax e, s\u0259sini d\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xarm\u0131r. Al g\u0259ldi k\u00f6p\u0259k o\u011flu…<\/p>\n

O vaxtdan h\u0259r ikisin\u0259 nifr\u0259t edirdi, atas\u0131na \u0259zazilliyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, anas\u0131na m\u00fctiliyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259…<\/p>\n

A\u011fr\u0131 atas\u0131n\u0131n q\u0131rmanclar\u0131n\u0131 yada sald\u0131\u011f\u0131 kimi, ba\u015fqa u\u015faql\u0131q xatir\u0259l\u0259rini d\u0259 canland\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131 v\u0259 ona el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, yuxar\u0131 m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259d\u0259n ba\u015f\u0131na su \u0259nd\u0259rirl\u0259r, amma u\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131ndak\u0131 kimi soyuq yox, qaynar su.<\/p>\n

He\u00e7 k\u0259sin riyakar t\u0259s\u0259llisini, yalandan \u00fcr\u0259k-dir\u0259k verm\u0259sini ist\u0259mirdi. Ham\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 bir-bir nifr\u0259tl\u0259 s\u00fcz\u0259r\u0259k, he\u00e7 k\u0259sl\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259d\u0259n, vidala\u015fmadan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b getdi. Yol boyu rast g\u0259ldiyi h\u0259r adam\u0131 – tan\u0131\u015f\u0131 oldu, olmad\u0131, bo\u011fub \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u0259y\u0259 haz\u0131r idi.<\/p>\n

Evin\u0259 g\u0259ldi. Soyuducudan araq \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259sini \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131, bir – iki q\u0259d\u0259h vurub h\u0259r \u015feyi unutmaq ist\u0259di.<\/p>\n

Q\u0259dim bayat\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc yad\u0131na: \u00abi\u00e7dim q\u0259mim azals\u0131n, daha da q\u0259m \u00e7il\u0259ndi\u00bb. Sonra bayat\u0131n\u0131n \u0259vv\u0259lki misras\u0131 da d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc yad\u0131na: \u00abs\u0259m\u0259ndim q\u0259m\u00e7il\u0259ndi\u00bb.<\/p>\n

Q\u0259m\u00e7il\u0259ndi, q\u0131rmancland\u0131… Yox, t\u0259slim olmaq olmaz. \u0130\u00e7ib h\u0259r \u015feyi unutmaq z\u0259iflikdir. T\u00f6vb\u0259, i\u00e7m\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m. Hams\u0131ndan birc\u0259 – birc\u0259 heyfimi \u00e7\u0131xacam.<\/p>\n

Telefon z\u0259ng \u00e7ald\u0131. D\u0259st\u0259yi qald\u0131rmad\u0131. Bilirdi, ya kims\u0259: – fikir el\u0259m\u0259 – dey\u0259c\u0259k ya da – \u00abn\u0259 oldu umsuq qald\u0131n?!\u00bb – dey\u0259 yan\u0131q ver\u0259c\u0259k. T\u00fcp\u00fcr\u00fcm h\u0259r ikisin\u0259. Toplant\u0131dak\u0131lar\u0131n sif\u0259tl\u0259ri bir-bir g\u0259ldi g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin qaba\u011f\u0131na: \u00abAdlar\u0131n\u0131 alim qoyublar, o yek\u0259burun me\u015f\u0259d\u0259n d\u00fcn\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b g\u0259lib Bak\u0131da adam olub, indiy\u0259c\u0259n \u00ab\u00e7\u00fcnkiy\u0259\u00bb \u00abk\u00fcn\u00e7\u00fc\u00bb deyir. O biri d\u0259 – ruskoyaz\u0131\u00e7n\u0131 \u00e7u\u015fka m\u00fct\u0259f\u0259kkir\u0259 m\u00fct\u0259k\u0259fkir dey\u0259n… K\u00fcl\u00fc qoyum ba\u015f\u0131v\u0131za\u00bb.<\/p>\n

Bunlar\u0131 yad\u0131na sal\u0131b g\u00fcld\u00fc. Bir az eyni a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131.<\/p>\n

Televizoru qurdu. Ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcnd\u00fc futbola bax\u0131rd\u0131. D\u00fcnya futbolunun \u0259fsan\u0259si Braziliya komandas\u0131 almanlara biab\u0131r\u00e7\u0131 \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 7 – 1, sonra da hollandlara 3-1 uduzmu\u015fdu. Bu g\u00fcn is\u0259 final idi v\u0259 Braziliyan\u0131 x\u0259cil el\u0259y\u0259n almanlar indi d\u0259 Argentina y\u0131\u011fmas\u0131n\u0131 yenirdi. Buna \u0259n \u00e7ox sevin\u0259n is\u0259 … b\u0259li, b\u0259li, Braziliya azarke\u015fl\u0259ri idi. \u00d6zl\u0259rini amans\u0131z, ac\u0131mas\u0131z \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 al\u00e7aldan r\u0259qibl\u0259rinin – almanlar\u0131n q\u0259l\u0259b\u0259sin\u0259 yox, Argentinan\u0131n m\u0259\u011flubiyy\u0259tin\u0259 sevinirdil\u0259r. \u015e\u0259rh\u00e7i izah edirdi: bu iki \u0259n iri C\u0259nubi Amerika \u00f6lk\u0259sinin aras\u0131nda \u0259z\u0259li r\u0259qab\u0259t var. Braziliyal\u0131lar Argentinan\u0131n m\u0259\u011flubiyy\u0259tini bayram edirl\u0259r.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc ki, t\u0259k insanlar yox, \u00f6lk\u0259l\u0259r d\u0259 bir-birin\u0259 pax\u0131ll\u0131q edir, bir-birini g\u00f6zl\u0259ri g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fcr, bir-birinin pis g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u0259 sevinirl\u0259r.<\/p>\n

D\u00fcnyada sa\u011flam yar\u0131\u015f yox, x\u0259st\u0259 b\u0259hs\u0259 b\u0259hs, h\u0259s\u0259d h\u00f6km s\u00fcr\u00fcr. \u0130nsanlar\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131 – HAMISI – bir-birin\u0259 pax\u0131ll\u0131q edir. Bir-birin\u0259 yamanl\u0131q ist\u0259yir. Erk\u0259kl\u0259rin bir yar\u0131s\u0131 ba\u015fqalar\u0131n\u0131n u\u011furlar\u0131na h\u0259s\u0259d \u00e7\u0259kir, o biri yar\u0131s\u0131 da qalanlar\u0131n u\u011fursuzluqlar\u0131ndan z\u00f6vq al\u0131r… Qad\u0131nlar\u0131n yar\u0131s\u0131 ba\u015fqa qad\u0131nlar\u0131 g\u00f6z\u0259l olmas\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259ri g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fcr, o biri yar\u0131s\u0131 da kiml\u0259rins\u0259 \u00e7irkin olmalar\u0131na ikrah hissi duyurlar.<\/p>\n

\u015eokdan v\u0259 i\u00e7kid\u0259n dumanlanm\u0131\u015f beyni bu fikirl\u0259rl\u0259 dolunca, \u018fhliman el\u0259 oturdu\u011fu k\u00fcrs\u00fcd\u0259c\u0259 yuxuya getdi, bir d\u0259 s\u0259h\u0259r oyand\u0131. Televizor da b\u00fct\u00fcn gec\u0259ni diri g\u00f6zl\u0259 qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

M\u0259\u015fum toplant\u0131dan ke\u00e7\u0259n alt\u0131 ay \u0259rzind\u0259s\u0259 \u015euran\u0131n, dem\u0259k olar ki, b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00fczvl\u0259ri – b\u0259zil\u0259ri bir h\u0259ft\u0259nin i\u00e7ind\u0259 zay oldular. Kimi infarkt oldu, kimi iflic olub komaya d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, kiminin dili tutuldu (yaln\u0131z \u0259l h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259riyl\u0259 n\u0259yis\u0259 izah etm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131, amma n\u0259 dediyini anlamaq olmurdu), kiminin arvad\u0131 q\u0131sqancl\u0131q \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc n\u00f6y\u00fct t\u00f6k\u00fcb yand\u0131rd\u0131, kims\u0259 \u00e7im\u0259rk\u0259n d\u0259m qaz\u0131ndan bo\u011fulub \u00f6ld\u00fc.<\/p>\n

Zakir elmi i\u015fd\u0259n tamamil\u0259 uzaqla\u015fd\u0131, he\u00e7 k\u0259sl\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb – dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131rd\u0131, ham\u0131dan uzaq qa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131, xan\u0259ni\u015fin olmu\u015fdu. Deyil\u0259n\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, psixi x\u0259st\u0259liy\u0259 tutuldu, d\u0259lixanaya d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Sonrak\u0131 taleyind\u0259n \u018fhliman\u0131n x\u0259b\u0259ri yoxdu. R\u00fcbab\u0259 dul qalm\u0131\u015f ba\u011f qon\u015fular\u0131na \u0259r\u0259 getdi, hans\u0131sa xarici \u00f6lk\u0259y\u0259 k\u00f6\u00e7d\u00fcl\u0259r, \u00f6ld\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc-qald\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 bil\u0259n olmad\u0131.<\/p>\n

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ON \u0130K\u0130NC\u0130 F\u018fS\u0130L<\/p>\n

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KARMA<\/p>\n

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\u201cG\u00f6rm\u0259k. Dey\u0259 bil\u0259rik ki, h\u0259yat\u0131n m\u0259\u011fzi bundad\u0131r. Canl\u0131 t\u0259bi\u0259tin tarixi- kosmosun d\u0259rinliyind\u0259n \u00fcz\u00fc b\u0259ri get-ged\u0259 t\u0259kmill\u0259\u015f\u0259n g\u00f6zl\u0259rin g\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259ridir. Yarand\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcnd\u0259n insan \u00f6z\u00fc \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 tama\u015fa edir. Min ill\u0259rdir o, ancaq \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc seyr edir. Yava\u015f-yava\u015f \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u0259hat\u0259 ed\u0259n d\u00fcnyan\u0131 da g\u00f6rm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flay\u0131r. Bu s\u00fcr\u0259tin l\u0259ng getm\u0259sin\u0259 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259nm\u0259y\u0259k. B\u0259z\u0259n ilk bax\u0131\u015fdan g\u00f6z\u0259 \u00e7arpan\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259k daha \u00e7\u0259tin olur\u201d.<\/p>\n

PYER TEYYAR DE \u015eARDEN,<\/p>\n

frans\u0131z filosofu. \u00ab\u0130nsan fenomeni\u00bb<\/p>\n

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D umanl\u0131 yad\u0131ma g\u0259lirdi ki, ha\u00e7ansa Nax\u00e7\u0131vana getmi\u015fdim. Hans\u0131 il idi o s\u0259f\u0259r, kiml\u0259 ya kiml\u0259rl\u0259 getmi\u015fdim, orda n\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm, kiml\u0259rl\u0259 tan\u0131\u015f oldum, kiml\u0259rl\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm – ham\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fcsb\u00fct\u00fcn unutmu\u015fdum.<\/p>\n

\u018fshabi – K\u0259f\u0259 nec\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tinlikl\u0259, t\u00f6y\u015f\u00fcy\u0259-t\u00f6y\u015f\u00fcy\u0259 qalxd\u0131\u011f\u0131m yad\u0131mdayd\u0131, amma bu sakral yerd\u0259 v\u0259 ordan en\u0259nd\u0259n sonra ke\u00e7irdiyim anla\u015f\u0131lmaz, bu g\u00fcn d\u0259 izah ed\u0259 bilm\u0259diyim hallar n\u0259 idi – yuxumu, reall\u0131qm\u0131, bir zaman k\u0259siyind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b ba\u015fqa d\u00f6vr\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259kmi, x\u0259yallarda canland\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m ger\u00e7\u0259klikmi, ger\u00e7\u0259kliy\u0259 \u00e7evrilmi\u015f fantaziyalar\u0131mm\u0131? Bilmir\u0259m v\u0259, y\u0259qin, he\u00e7 vaxt da bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m. Bir onu bilir\u0259m ki, \u018fshabi – K\u0259f Nax\u00e7\u0131vandad\u0131r, dem\u0259li, ha\u00e7ansa Nax\u00e7\u0131vana yolum d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcbm\u00fc\u015f…<\/p>\n

Nax\u00e7\u0131van\u0131 adda-budda m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259l\u0259riyl\u0259 yadda\u015f\u0131mda canland\u0131rma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fanda bu diyar\u0131 n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 daha \u00e7ox mistik, sirli-sehirli, sakral bir m\u0259kan kimi qavray\u0131ram. Sanki orda ke\u00e7irdiyim g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259 (bir ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcnm\u00fc olmu\u015fdum orda, bir aym\u0131, bir ilmi, onu da d\u0259qiq dey\u0259 bilm\u0259zdim) kainat\u0131n gizlinl\u0259ri daha ayd\u0131n \u0259yan olurdu m\u0259n\u0259, n\u0259l\u0259ris\u0259 daha ayd\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fcr v\u0259 d\u0259rk edirdim.<\/p>\n

B\u0259z\u0259n m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lir ki, f\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259yl\u0259 v\u0259 \u015e\u0259rq inanclar\u0131yla da el\u0259 Nax\u00e7\u0131vana gedib – g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259n sonra d\u0259rind\u0259n maraqlanma\u011fa ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Dekart\u0131n ayd\u0131n-a\u00e7\u0131q t\u0259f\u0259kk\u00fcr\u00fcnd\u0259n Svadenborqun dumanl\u0131, ezoterik t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcrl\u0259rin\u0259c\u0259n, \u015eopenhauerin b\u0259dbin d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n XX \u0259srd\u0259 ekzistensialistl\u0259rin yaban\u00e7\u0131la\u015fma, s\u0259rh\u0259d situasiyas\u0131, insan\u0131n se\u00e7im qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda qalmas\u0131 haqq\u0131nda t\u0259liml\u0259rin\u0259d\u0259k, Q\u0259rb f\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259sin\u0259 az-\u00e7ox b\u0259l\u0259d oldum. G\u00fcnl\u0259rin bir g\u00fcn\u00fc el\u0259 bil kims\u0259 m\u0259ni \u015e\u0259rq f\u0259ls\u0259fi v\u0259 dini fikriyl\u0259 ciddi maraqlanma\u011fa s\u00f6vq etdi. Q\u0259dim Hind m\u0259tnl\u0259riyl\u0259, \u00c7in f\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259siyl\u0259 tan\u0131\u015f oldum, t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcf\u00fcn d\u0259rinliyin\u0259 dald\u0131m. Buna q\u0259d\u0259r ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m, bildiyim, a\u011fl\u0131mla d\u0259rk etdiyim, g\u00f6zl\u0259riml\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcm D\u00fcnyadan tamam f\u0259rqli, BA\u015eQA Al\u0259min varl\u0131\u011f\u0131na inand\u0131m. Dem\u0259 bu paralel D\u00fcnyada al\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z m\u0259ntiq i\u015fl\u0259mirmi\u015f, burda Zaman v\u0259 M\u0259kan \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcl\u0259ri d\u0259 ayr\u0131ym\u0131\u015f. Bu Al\u0259md\u0259 n\u0259 Ke\u00e7mi\u015f, n\u0259 G\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k, n\u0259 \u0130ndi varm\u0131\u015f… \u00dcm\u00fcm\u0259n Vaxt yox imi\u015f… Vaxt\u0131n f\u00f6vq\u00fcnd\u0259 d\u00fcrani \u018fb\u0259diyy\u0259t varm\u0131\u015f. Ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm ki, varl\u0131\u011f\u0131, h\u0259yat\u0131, kainat\u0131, d\u00fcnyan\u0131 yaln\u0131z m\u0259ntiql\u0259 izah etm\u0259k qeyri-m\u00fcmk\u00fcnd\u00fcr. \u0130nsan\u0131 anlamaq is\u0259, he\u00e7 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyil.<\/p>\n

Ba\u011fdad dar\u00fclf\u00fcnunun, bizim bug\u00fcnk\u00fc t\u0259birl\u0259 des\u0259k, kafedra m\u00fcdiri, professoru \u018fl Q\u0259zali g\u00fcnl\u0259rin bir g\u00fcn\u00fc i\u015f yerini t\u0259rk edir, b\u00fct\u00fcn r\u00fctb\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n, m\u0259ns\u0259bl\u0259rind\u0259n vaz ke\u00e7\u0259r\u0259k, t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcf\u00fcn h\u0259qiq\u0259tin\u0259 tap\u0131n\u0131r, d\u00fcnyan\u0131 yaln\u0131z a\u011f\u0131lla deyil, f\u0259hml\u0259 d\u0259 duyma\u011f\u0131n vacibliyin\u0259 inan\u0131r v\u0259 inand\u0131r\u0131r.<\/p>\n

\u015e\u0259rqin iki b\u00f6y\u00fck simas\u0131 m\u0259\u015fhur sufi \u015feyxi \u018fbu Seyid dahi alim v\u0259 t\u0259bib \u0130bn Sinayla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u0259n sonra: \u00abM\u0259nim g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fc o bilir\u00bb- deyib. \u0130bn Sina da bu g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u0259n sonra: \u00abM\u0259nim bildiyimi o g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u00bb – s\u00f6yl\u0259yib.<\/p>\n

\u0130slam z\u0259kan\u0131 inkar etmir, amma yaln\u0131z a\u011fla yox, duy\u011fuya da \u0259saslan\u0131r, d\u00fcnyan\u0131 d\u0259rk etm\u0259yin iki yolunu g\u00f6st\u0259rir – arifliyi v\u0259 a\u015fiqliyi.<\/p>\n

Oxudu\u011fum kitablar i\u00e7ind\u0259 m\u0259ni \u0259n \u00e7ox c\u0259lb ed\u0259n q\u0259dim hind f\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259sinin KARMA anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131 oldu… Karman\u0131 q\u0259zav\u00fc-q\u0259d\u0259r kimi d\u0259 \u00e7evirm\u0259k olar, amma bu tam d\u0259qiq t\u0259rc\u00fcm\u0259 deyil. Karma – b\u0259d\u0259l, \u0259v\u0259z qanunudur, s\u0259b\u0259b v\u0259 n\u0259tic\u0259 qanunudur, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u0259n \u0259sas v\u0259 t\u0259m\u0259l qanunudur. Karmaya g\u00f6r\u0259 insan b\u00fct\u00fcn h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rinin b\u0259d\u0259lini \u00f6d\u0259yir. \u0130ndiki h\u0259yat\u0131nda ya hans\u0131sa ba\u015fqa ya\u015fay\u0131\u015f\u0131nda g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fc Xeyir ya \u015e\u0259r \u0259m\u0259ll\u0259rin \u0259v\u0259zi \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na. Bu qanunu q\u0259bul ets\u0259n, h\u0259r \u015fey izah olunur. \u0130ndiki \u00f6mr\u00fcnd\u0259 rastla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131n h\u0259r naqislik, s\u0259n\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 edilmi\u015f h\u0259r haqs\u0131zl\u0131q ha\u00e7ansa ba\u015fqa h\u0259yatda s\u0259nin \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn kim\u0259s\u0259 ya kiml\u0259r\u0259s\u0259 etdiyin haqs\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n, z\u00fclm\u00fcn b\u0259d\u0259lidir. \u018fvv\u0259lki ya\u015fay\u0131\u015f\u0131nda etdiyin yax\u015f\u0131 ya pis h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rin n\u0259tic\u0259si ba\u015fqa bir h\u0259yatda \u00fcz\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r. Bir s\u00f6z: \u00abN\u0259 \u0259k\u0259rs\u0259n, onu bi\u00e7\u0259rs\u0259n\u00bb …<\/p>\n

Qal\u0131r bir \u015fey\u0259 d\u0259 inanma\u011f\u0131n – h\u0259r bir canl\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcyl\u0259 h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131n bitm\u0259m\u0259sin\u0259. Monoteist dinl\u0259r biz\u0259 Qiyam\u0259t g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fc, Dirilm\u0259ni v\u0259 ba\u015fqa bir al\u0259md\u0259 c\u0259nn\u0259ti v\u0259 c\u0259h\u0259nn\u0259mi v\u0259d edir. Hinduizmin v\u0259 buddizmin t\u0259m\u0259l inanc\u0131 – reinkarnasiya anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131d\u0131r – h\u0259r bir canl\u0131n\u0131n m\u00fcxt\u0259lif \u015f\u0259kill\u0259rd\u0259, \u00e7e\u015fidli bi\u00e7iml\u0259rd\u0259 bir \u00e7ox h\u0259yat ya\u015famas\u0131na inam.<\/p>\n

Ekzistensializm\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, insan taleyini, q\u0259d\u0259rini \u00f6z\u00fc m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259nl\u0259\u015fdirir. Son se\u00e7im onun \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcnd\u00fcr. Onda bel\u0259 bir sual meydana \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r: \u0130ND\u0130K\u0130 h\u0259yat\u0131nda d\u00fczg\u00fcn ya\u015fay\u0131rsansa, y\u00fcks\u0259k amallarla \u00f6m\u00fcr s\u00fcr\u00fcrs\u0259ns\u0259, n\u0259y\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 hans\u0131sa ba\u015fqa h\u0259yatda etdiyin b\u0259d \u0259m\u0259ll\u0259rin c\u0259zas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0259km\u0259lis\u0259n? T\u00f6vb\u0259 – \u0259g\u0259r s\u0259mimidirs\u0259 – insan\u0131 ha\u00e7ansa etdiyi s\u0259hv h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rin t\u0259krar\u0131ndan saq\u0131nd\u0131r\u0131r, amma ba\u015fqa bir h\u0259yatda g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fc yamanl\u0131qlar\u0131n m\u0259suliyy\u0259tind\u0259n qurtara bilmir.<\/p>\n

\u0130nsan kim\u0259s\u0259 pislik edirs\u0259, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259, v\u0259 dem\u0259li, b\u00fct\u00fcn b\u0259\u015f\u0259riyy\u0259t\u0259 yamanl\u0131q edir. Bu qanun yaln\u0131z ayr\u0131-ayr\u0131 f\u0259rdl\u0259r\u0259 deyil, d\u00f6vl\u0259tl\u0259r\u0259, \u00f6lk\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 d\u0259 aiddir. Bir ba\u015fqa xalqa t\u0259cav\u00fcz ed\u0259n m\u0259ml\u0259k\u0259t \u00f6z d\u00f6vl\u0259tinin, \u00f6z mill\u0259tinin ba\u015f\u0131na b\u0259la a\u00e7\u0131r. \u018fhdi – \u0259tiqd\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259n sayd\u0131\u011f\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn irql\u0259r\u0259, xalqlara qar\u015f\u0131 q\u0259ddarl\u0131q, amans\u0131zl\u0131q t\u0259lqin edilir. Amma bu d\u00f6z\u00fcms\u00fczl\u00fck bu inanca tap\u0131nanlara baha ba\u015fa g\u0259ldi, \u00f6zl\u0259ri tarix boyu min b\u0259laya d\u00fc\u00e7ar oldular.<\/p>\n

Karma m\u0259n\u0259 t\u0259k insan \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fcn deyil, \u00fcmum\u0259n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n m\u0259ntiqini, tarixin gedi\u015fat\u0131n\u0131 izah edirdi, amma ke\u00e7mi\u015f g\u00fcnahlardan n\u0259 sayaq xilas olma\u011f\u0131n yollar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259rmirdi.<\/p>\n

\u00abBal\u0131\u011f\u0131 at d\u0259ryaya, bal\u0131q bilm\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259 Xal\u0131q bil\u0259r\u00bb prinsipiyl\u0259 davranmaqm\u0131? Dzen-buddizmd\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259viyyat\u0131n daha y\u00fcks\u0259k dusturunu tapd\u0131m: \u0259g\u0259r s\u0259n yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131q ed\u0259rk\u0259n yen\u0259 d\u0259 Xal\u0131q\u0131n bunu bil\u0259c\u0259yini, v\u0259 dem\u0259li, d\u0259y\u0259rl\u0259ndir\u0259c\u0259yini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrs\u0259ns\u0259, dem\u0259li, h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tin tam t\u0259m\u0259nnas\u0131z deyil. Tam t\u0259m\u0259nnas\u0131z yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131q odur ki, bunun h\u0259tta Xal\u0131q t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n bel\u0259 qiym\u0259tl\u0259ndir\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yini a\u011fl\u0131na g\u0259tirm\u0259y\u0259s\u0259n.<\/p>\n

Bilmir\u0259m ha\u00e7ansa ya\u015fam\u0131\u015fam ya yox, bilmir\u0259m h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131n m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n ill\u0259ri yadda\u015f\u0131mdan b\u00fcsb\u00fct\u00fcn silinibs\u0259 – bu el\u0259 yenid\u0259n ya\u015famaqd\u0131r ya yox, bildiyim bir odur ki, indi ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00f6m\u00fcrd\u0259 yaln\u0131z Xeyr\u0259 xidm\u0259t el\u0259m\u0259lis\u0259n.<\/p>\n

B\u0259s ta u\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan rastla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m z\u00fclm, m\u0259kt\u0259b ill\u0259rind\u0259 pisikdirilm\u0259yim, institut vaxt\u0131nlda t\u0259nhal\u0131\u011f\u0131m, qad\u0131nlar\u0131n bigan\u0259liyi ya m\u0259kri, dostlar\u0131n etibars\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131 nec\u0259 olsun? Ax\u0131, onlar\u0131 ki, unutmam\u0131\u015fam, n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r c\u0259hd ets\u0259m d\u0259, yadda\u015f\u0131mdan silib ata bilmir\u0259m he\u00e7 birini. Kims\u0259 n\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 deyib – s\u0259n\u0259 edil\u0259n pislikl\u0259ri unut, amma onlar\u0131 ed\u0259nl\u0259rin adlar\u0131n\u0131 unutma. B\u0259zil\u0259ri b\u0259d\u0259n yadda\u015f\u0131mda indiy\u0259c\u0259n incidir, a\u011fr\u0131d\u0131r m\u0259ni – sazaql\u0131 bir g\u00fcnd\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131ma t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u0259n soyuq su, k\u00fcr\u0259yimd\u0259 q\u0131rmanclar\u0131n g\u00f6yn\u0259rtisi. Yaxud m\u0259n\u0259vi z\u0259d\u0259l\u0259r – \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcb, \u0259limi iki \u0259ll\u0259 s\u0131xanlar\u0131n nam\u0259rdliyi, \u0259n yax\u0131n bildiyim t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259min d\u00f6n\u00fckl\u00fcy\u00fc, atam\u0131n \u0259zazilliyi, anam\u0131n yalvar\u0131\u015flar\u0131, h\u0259yat\u0131m boyu rastla\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m yalanlar, b\u00f6htanlar, \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fc q\u0131saldan haqs\u0131zl\u0131qlar, h\u0259r g\u00fcn qan\u0131ma z\u0259rr\u0259-z\u0259rr\u0259 yeridil\u0259n z\u0259h\u0259r… b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131n \u0259v\u0259zini \u00e7\u0131xmamal\u0131yam?..<\/p>\n

H\u0259r f\u00fcrs\u0259td\u0259 m\u0259ni sadistc\u0259sin\u0259 al\u00e7aldan, ba\u015f\u0131ma su \u0259nd\u0259r\u0259n N\u0259sibd\u0259 heyfim qalmad\u0131 ki? Bir an\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tli \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 m\u0259hv oldu getdi. B\u0259z\u0259n m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, bu q\u0259zaya s\u0259b\u0259b m\u0259n oldum. Atam d\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 dey\u0259rdi: \u00ab\u018f, s\u0259nin n\u0259 pis g\u00f6z\u00fcn var?!\u00bb…<\/p>\n

El\u0259 o vaxtdan g\u00f6z haqq\u0131nda, g\u00f6z\u00fcn x\u00fcsusiyy\u0259tl\u0259ri v\u0259 t\u0259sir g\u00fcc\u00fc haqq\u0131nda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m: pis g\u00f6z, yaman g\u00f6z, g\u00f6z da\u011f\u0131, g\u00f6z d\u0259ym\u0259k, g\u00f6z\u00fc g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u0259m\u0259k, g\u00f6z\u0259 g\u0259tirm\u0259k, g\u00f6zd\u0259n salmaq, g\u00f6zd\u0259n uzaq, k\u00f6n\u00fcld\u0259n iraq. \u018fb\u0259s deyilm\u0259yib ki, b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar…<\/p>\n

Bayat\u0131da \u00ab\u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259 g\u00f6z izi var, s\u0259n\u0259 kim baxd\u0131 yar\u0131m\u00bb s\u0259tirl\u0259rini indi orijinal t\u0259\u015fbeh kimi yox, hans\u0131sa ger\u00e7\u0259k bax\u0131\u015f\u0131n t\u0259siri kimi m\u0259naland\u0131rma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. D\u00fcnya \u0259d\u0259biyyat\u0131nda da g\u00f6z\u00fcn t\u0259siri haqq\u0131nda deyil\u0259nl\u0259r diqq\u0259timi \u00e7\u0259km\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. XII \u0259sr Avropa inkvizisiya rahibl\u0259ri Henrix \u0130stitorisin v\u0259 Yakob \u015eprengerin kitab\u0131 \u0259lim\u0259 ke\u00e7di. Kitab\u0131n bir yeri m\u0259ni xeyli d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcrd\u00fc:<\/p>\n

\u00abB\u0259zi adamlar\u0131n x\u0259st\u0259likl\u0259ri onlara nifr\u0259t b\u0259sl\u0259y\u0259nl\u0259rin onlara pis g\u00f6zl\u0259 baxmalar\u0131yla \u0259laq\u0259dard\u0131r. Duyduqlar\u0131 kin-nifr\u0259t g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259 toplan\u0131r, \u00e7\u00fcnki g\u00f6z insan hissl\u0259rinin v\u0259 x\u0259yallar\u0131n\u0131n \u0259n h\u0259ssas yeridir. G\u00f6z\u00fcn ifad\u0259si insan\u0131n ovqat\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6st\u0259ricisidir. B\u0259zi adamlar\u0131n anadang\u0259lm\u0259 yaman g\u00f6zl\u0259ri var, b\u0259zil\u0259ri bu x\u00fcsusiyy\u0259ti sonradan qazan\u0131rlar. Yaman g\u00f6z yaln\u0131z zill\u0259ndiyi yer\u0259 yox, m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n m\u0259kan\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn ab-havas\u0131na pis t\u0259sir g\u00f6st\u0259rir. Yaman g\u00f6z\u00fcn t\u0259sir q\u00fcvv\u0259si \u00e7ox b\u00f6y\u00fckd\u00fcr. H\u0259tta bir bax\u0131\u015fla d\u0259v\u0259ni y\u0131xa bilir. Bu keyfiyy\u0259tl\u0259r\u0259 malik olan insanlar m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n f\u0259rd\u0259 – z\u0259r\u0259r verm\u0259k ist\u0259diyi \u015f\u0259xs\u0259 baxark\u0259n \u00f6zl\u0259rinin d\u0259 b\u00fct\u00fcn v\u00fccudunda bir g\u0259rginlik duyurlar v\u0259 bu g\u0259rginlik g\u00f6zl\u0259rin\u0259 t\u0259sir edir. Bel\u0259 anlarda bu pis g\u00f6z\u00fcn t\u0259siri m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n m\u0259saf\u0259d\u0259n bel\u0259, h\u0259d\u0259f se\u00e7diyi varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn\u0259, b\u0259db\u0259xt\u00e7iliyin\u0259, sa\u011falmaz m\u0259r\u0259zin\u0259, g\u00f6zl\u0259nilm\u0259z q\u0259zaya d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259sin\u0259 s\u0259b\u0259b ola bil\u0259r\u00bb.<\/p>\n

Rahibl\u0259rin kitab\u0131n\u0131 oxuyark\u0259n ba\u015fqa bir ifad\u0259 d\u0259 yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc: \u00abAllah s\u0259ni yaman g\u00f6zd\u0259n qorusun\u00bb.<\/p>\n

Dem\u0259li, yaman g\u00f6zd\u0259n qorunmaq da m\u00fcmk\u00fcnd\u00fcr, bu b\u0259lan\u0131n \u00e7ar\u0259si d\u0259 var. Hinduizm v\u0259 dzen -buddizm, ekzistensializm f\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259si m\u0259ni yaln\u0131z Allaha t\u0259v\u0259kk\u00fcl deyib durmama\u011f\u0131 \u00f6yr\u0259dirdis\u0259, insan\u0131n \u00f6z irad\u0259siyl\u0259 se\u00e7imini v\u0259 davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259sdiq edirdis\u0259, bunlardan n\u0259tic\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b yaman g\u00f6zd\u0259n qorunma\u011f\u0131n yollar\u0131n\u0131 axtarma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. Ekstrasensl\u0259rl\u0259 v\u0259 onlar\u0131n \u00fcsullar\u0131yla tan\u0131\u015f oldum, hipnoz v\u0259 tilsim haqq\u0131nda d\u0259rind\u0259n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m, pirl\u0259rin hikm\u0259ti haqq\u0131nda ara\u015fd\u0131rmalar apard\u0131m, cadu-pitiy\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 xalq inanclar\u0131n\u0131 bir daha yada sal\u0131b t\u0259hlil etdim.<\/p>\n

B\u0259zi u\u011furlar da qazand\u0131m. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 q\u0259zan\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ald\u0131m, bir-iki adam\u0131 yaman g\u00f6z\u00fcn b\u0259las\u0131ndan xilas ed\u0259 bildim. M\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, ilkin s\u0259b\u0259bi – nifr\u0259t, hikk\u0259, kin, pax\u0131ll\u0131q, h\u0259s\u0259d kimi m\u00fcz\u00fcr insani keyfiyy\u0259tl\u0259ri \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 toplayan yaman g\u00f6zd\u0259n qorunma\u011f\u0131n \u00e7ar\u0259sini tapma\u011f\u0131ma birc\u0259 add\u0131m qal\u0131r. \u0130stifad\u0259 etdiyim \u00fcsullardan yaz\u0131b pis g\u00f6zl\u00fc adamlar\u0131 duyuq salmaq ist\u0259mir\u0259m. U\u011furuma birc\u0259 add\u0131m qal\u0131rd\u0131, bir son add\u0131m…<\/p>\n

\n

ON \u00dc\u00c7\u00dcNC\u00dc F\u018fS\u0130L<\/p>\n

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AYDAN<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cM\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t -\u0259vv\u0259l-\u0259vv\u0259l zarafatd\u0131r, amma sonucda \u00e7ox ciddi i\u015fdir. G\u00f6z\u0259llikl\u0259 rastla\u015fanda q\u0259lb ona diqq\u0259t verm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flay\u0131r, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 yax\u0131n c\u0259h\u0259tl\u0259ri g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 qovu\u015fmaq ist\u0259yi oyan\u0131r v\u0259 h\u0259qiqi m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t yaran\u0131r. M\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t insan\u0131 \u0259ld\u0259n salan x\u0259st\u0259likdir, amma onun d\u0259rman\u0131, \u0259lac\u0131 da el\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259dir\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u0130BN H\u018fZM, XI \u0259sr \u0259r\u0259b m\u00fct\u0259f\u0259kkiri,<\/p>\n

\u00abG\u00f6y\u0259r\u00e7in h\u0259mayili\u00bb \u0259s\u0259rind\u0259n<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cQ\u0259lbd\u0259 e\u015fq nec\u0259 yaran\u0131r? Birinci heyranl\u0131q hissi ba\u015f qald\u0131r\u0131r. \u0130nsan d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr: onu \u00f6pm\u0259k, onun s\u0259n\u0259 bus\u0259 verm\u0259si n\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck s\u0259ad\u0259t olard\u0131. \u00dcmid bel\u0259 yaran\u0131r. Bu, m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259tin sift\u0259sidir.<\/p>\n

\u00d6z\u00fc haqq\u0131nda xatir\u0259l\u0259r ya\u015fatmayan xo\u015fb\u0259xtlik – xo\u015fb\u0259xtlik deyil… \u201d<\/p>\n

STENDAL, frans\u0131z yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131,<\/p>\n

\u00abM\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t haqq\u0131nda\u00bb<\/p>\n

\n

M \u0259ni Ay i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 oyatd\u0131. \u00c7arpay\u0131m\u0131n yan\u0131nda qoydu\u011fum saata baxd\u0131m – gec\u0259 saat d\u00f6rd\u0259 on d\u0259qiq\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yirdi. B\u0259dirl\u0259nmi\u015f Ay\u0131n ziyas\u0131yla \u00e7arpay\u0131m\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndak\u0131 divardan as\u0131lm\u0131\u015f iri g\u00f6z muncuq i\u015f\u0131qlan\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Bird\u0259n el\u0259 bil kims\u0259 m\u0259ni yata\u011f\u0131mdan durub eyvan qap\u0131s\u0131na t\u0259r\u0259f apard\u0131. Eyvan qap\u0131s\u0131na \u00e7at\u0131b baxd\u0131m, diksindim. Ba\u011fl\u0131 \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259 qap\u0131n\u0131n o biri t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259 adam dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, sif\u0259ti \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259y\u0259 yap\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, eyb\u0259c\u0259rl\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdi. \u018fyri \u0259yl\u0259nc\u0259 aynalar\u0131nda oldu\u011fu kimi, a\u011fz\u0131, burnu, \u00e7\u0259n\u0259si yast\u0131lanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, amma d\u0259rhal tan\u0131d\u0131m -qon\u015fumuzun q\u0131z\u0131 Aydan idi. Arabir h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259 rastla\u015f\u0131b k\u0259lm\u0259 k\u0259sm\u0259d\u0259n xo\u015f t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcml\u0259 salamla\u015fard\u0131q. T\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb\u00fcm bir an \u00e7\u0259kdi, bir an sonra h\u0259r \u015feyi anlad\u0131m.<\/p>\n

G\u00f6zl\u0259ri qapal\u0131yd\u0131. Dem\u0259 bu q\u0131z somnambula – Ay adam\u0131ym\u0131\u015f. M\u0259niml\u0259 eyni m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259d\u0259 olan m\u0259nzill\u0259rind\u0259n bura Ay i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n cazib\u0259siyl\u0259 g\u0259lib. Eyvandan eyvana be\u015f qar\u0131\u015fl\u0131q dar ke\u00e7idl\u0259 g\u0259lib. Ke\u00e7id el\u0259 dar idi ki, iki adam yan-yana\u015f\u0131 dura bilm\u0259zdi. Bir ayaq- bir ayaq g\u0259lib.<\/p>\n

H\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 yuxudayd\u0131. Qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131b q\u0131z\u0131 i\u00e7\u0259ri dartmaq, oyatmaq, sonra d\u0259hlizl\u0259 \u00f6z m\u0259nzill\u0259rin\u0259 g\u0259tirm\u0259k ist\u0259dim, amma d\u0259rhal ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm ki, qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7sam, o saat oyana bil\u0259r, oyansa, \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259d\u0259n, Allah el\u0259m\u0259mi\u015f, y\u0131x\u0131la bil\u0259r. Ancaq \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259nin bu t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n o t\u0259r\u0259fin\u0259 bir-birimiz\u0259 baxma\u011f\u0131m\u0131z qal\u0131rd\u0131. Daha do\u011frusu, m\u0259n bax\u0131rd\u0131m. Onun g\u00f6zl\u0259ri yumuluydu. Bir az \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259d\u0259n araland\u0131, yast\u0131lanm\u0131\u015f sif\u0259t cizgil\u0259ri adi hal\u0131na qay\u0131td\u0131 v\u0259 indi yen\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcm kimi q\u0259nirsiz g\u00f6z\u0259l idi. Bu q\u0259rib\u0259 t\u0259\u015fbeh hardan g\u0259ldi a\u011fl\u0131ma, \u0130lahi, onu t\u0259rsin\u0259 \u00e7evilmi\u015f nida i\u015far\u0259sin\u0259 ox\u015fatd\u0131m. Ar\u0131q, d\u00fcm-d\u00fcz, \u015f\u00fcmal qam\u0259ti v\u0259 iril\u0259\u015fmi\u015f n\u00f6qt\u0259 kimi ba\u015f\u0131… Zil qara sa\u00e7lar\u0131 \u015f\u0259lal\u0259 kimi t\u0259p\u0259sind\u0259n \u00e7iyinl\u0259rin\u0259 ax\u0131rd\u0131. G\u00f6zl\u0259ri a\u00e7\u0131q olanda bir az q\u0259mli, bir az dal\u011f\u0131n ifad\u0259si vard\u0131. H\u0259y\u0259td\u0259 onu g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259, becid add\u0131mlarla qu\u015f kimi \u00abs\u0259kdiyin\u0259\u00bb heyranl\u0131qla baxanda D\u0259d\u0259 Qorqud b\u0259nz\u0259tm\u0259l\u0259ri yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc: \u00abEvd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u0259nd\u0259 s\u0259rv boylum, topu\u011funa sarma\u015fanda qara sa\u00e7l\u0131m, qar \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 qan damm\u0131\u015f kimi al yanaql\u0131m, qo\u015fa badam s\u0131\u011fmayan dar a\u011f\u0131zl\u0131m\u00bb. \u00d6z – \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 onu Banu\u00e7i\u00e7\u0259k adland\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131m, halduki bilirdim, ad\u0131 Aydand\u0131.<\/p>\n

Qorxurdum. Dua edirdim ki, ay\u0131lmas\u0131n, Ay i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131yla g\u0259ldiyi kimi m\u0259nzill\u0259rin\u0259 qay\u0131ts\u0131n. Sabah m\u00fctl\u0259q valideynl\u0259riyl\u0259 dan\u0131\u015faram. Bir \u0259lac taps\u0131nlar… G\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n, q\u0131zlar\u0131n\u0131n bu q\u0259rib\u0259liyind\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259rl\u0259ri varm\u0131?<\/p>\n

Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259qiq\u0259 \u00fcz-\u00fcz\u0259 dayand\u0131q. Yana\u011f\u0131m\u0131 \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259y\u0259 s\u00f6yk\u0259dim. G\u00f6zl\u0259rimi yumdum. \u015e\u00fc\u015f\u0259nin sopsoyuqlu\u011fu m\u0259ni ipisti g\u00f6z\u0259llikd\u0259n ay\u0131rd\u0131. Bilirdim ki, \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259nin o t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259 yanaqlar\u0131 bu \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259 kimi hamar v\u0259 s\u0259rindir. Hardan g\u0259ldi bu misralar a\u011fl\u0131ma: \u00abYanaqlar\u0131n qar dad\u0131r, dodaqlar\u0131n ar\u0131lar\u0131 aldad\u0131r\u00bb? Do\u011frudan da a\u011fz\u0131 g\u00fcl l\u0259\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259rini and\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131, ar\u0131lar\u0131 c\u0259lb ed\u0259n l\u0259\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259ri.<\/p>\n

\u015e\u00fc\u015f\u0259d\u0259n aralan\u0131b g\u00f6zl\u0259rimi a\u00e7d\u0131m: t\u0259rp\u0259nm\u0259z dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. G\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n, yuxusunda n\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcr, \u00fcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, bu halda yuxu g\u00f6r\u00fcrl\u0259rmi? Bu anlar, bu m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259vi, inan\u0131lmaz anlar uzand\u0131qca uzanayd\u0131 ka\u015f… Bu q\u0259d\u0259r yax\u0131n, bu q\u0259d\u0259r uzaq… Ay\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fc kimi. Ay\u0131n bir gec\u0259lik m\u0259n\u0259 h\u0259diyy\u0259 g\u00f6nd\u0259rdiyi \u0259fsan\u0259vi varl\u0131q… Ay q\u0131z\u0131…<\/p>\n

Qorxurdum, yamanca qorxurdum, ay\u0131laca\u011f\u0131ndanm\u0131, \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b ged\u0259c\u0259yind\u0259nmi, q\u0259fil g\u0259l\u0259n gizli sevinci q\u0259fild\u0259nc\u0259 itir\u0259c\u0259yimd\u0259nmi. G\u00f6z qapaqlar\u0131m a\u011f\u0131rla\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 el\u0259 bil, daha baxa bilmirdim. G\u00f6zl\u0259rimi yuma da bilmirdim ki, g\u00f6zl\u0259rim ba\u011fl\u0131 olan anda bird\u0259n ay\u0131lar… Allah g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259sin, f\u0259lak\u0259t ba\u015f ver\u0259r.<\/p>\n

… Sonra qap\u0131dan araland\u0131, ehmall\u0131ca t\u0259z\u0259 ayaq a\u00e7an u\u015faqlar kimi – dar-dar – be\u015f qar\u0131\u015fl\u0131q ke\u00e7idl\u0259 eyvanlar\u0131na t\u0259r\u0259f add\u0131mlad\u0131. \u00dcz\u00fcm\u00fc \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259y\u0259 dir\u0259yib ard\u0131nca baxd\u0131m-baxd\u0131m… . \u00dcsulluca \u00f6z eyvanlar\u0131na ke\u00e7\u0259nd\u0259n sonra n\u0259f\u0259simi d\u0259rib sakitl\u0259\u015fdim…<\/p>\n

Eyvan\u0131m\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131m. Ota\u011f\u0131ma t\u0259z\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131nm\u0131\u015f ot qoxusu doldu. Bu, Aydan\u0131n qoxusuydu, h\u0259r hans\u0131 d\u0259bd\u0259 olan parf\u00fcmd\u0259n uzaq t\u0259bii qoxusu. Qap\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n g\u0259lirdi. Ay q\u0131z \u00f6z\u00fc getmi\u015f, \u0259tri qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Qap\u0131n\u0131n Aydan\u0131n n\u0259f\u0259sind\u0259n isinmi\u015f \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259sini s\u0131\u011fallay\u0131r, Aya bax\u0131rd\u0131m. Guya ki, laqeyd-laqeyd yer k\u00fcrr\u0259mizi sez\u0259n, gah k\u0259silmi\u015f d\u0131rnaq kimi nazil\u0259n, gah f\u0259tir kimi dolan bu yax\u0131n-uzaq g\u00f6y cisminin n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r a\u00e7\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f sirri var. El\u0259 bil Aydan da Aydan\u0131n h\u0259niri g\u0259lirdi.<\/p>\n

N\u0259 idi bu, \u0130lahi? Q\u0259fil v\u0259 inan\u0131lmaz, g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259mi\u015f g\u0259li\u015f… Hans\u0131sa sirli – sehirli d\u00fcnyadan t\u0259\u015frif buyurmu\u015f qonaq.<\/p>\n

T\u0259r\u0259dd\u00fcdl\u0259r i\u00e7in\u0259ydim. Sabah valideynl\u0259riyl\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131m – dan\u0131\u015fmay\u0131m? \u015e\u00fcbh\u0259siz, q\u0131z\u0131n m\u00fcalic\u0259y\u0259 ehtiyac\u0131 var. Bel\u0259 davam ets\u0259, xata \u00e7\u0131xa bil\u0259r. Amma d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259nd\u0259 ki, bu m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259 bir daha he\u00e7 vaxt t\u0259krar olunmayacaq, daha he\u00e7 vaxt sif\u0259ti \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259y\u0259 yap\u0131\u015fmayacaq, t\u0259z\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131nm\u0131\u015f ot qoxusu bir d\u0259 he\u00e7 zaman dolmaycaq ota\u011f\u0131ma, q\u0259rib\u0259 bir nisgil hissi duyurdum. S\u0259h\u0259r\u0259c\u0259n g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 yuxu getm\u0259di… Aydan\u0131 ha\u00e7ansa h\u0259yat\u0131ma daxil olmu\u015f ya \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b getmi\u015f q\u0131zlarla, qad\u0131nlarla, \u00fcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, indiy\u0259c\u0259n tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m b\u00fct\u00fcn ba\u015fqa insanlarla m\u00fcqayis\u0259 edirdim v\u0259 indiy\u0259c\u0259n he\u00e7 bir vaxt ke\u00e7irm\u0259diyim hissl\u0259ri ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131m. \u0130\u00e7im \u0259n z\u0259rif qoxularla, \u0259n inc\u0259 musiqi n\u0259valar\u0131yla, \u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259l \u015feir misralar\u0131yla lim-h\u0259lim dolurdu. El\u0259 bil kims\u0259 h\u0259zin s\u0259sl\u0259 qula\u011f\u0131ma kimins\u0259 ha\u00e7ansa yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 s\u0259tirl\u0259ri p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lday\u0131rd\u0131:<\/p>\n

\u00dcmidsizlik an\u0131nda<\/p>\n

G\u0259ldi bu q\u0259fil sevinc…<\/p>\n

Taleyin h\u0259diyy\u0259si..<\/p>\n

G\u00f6zl\u0259nilm\u0259z n\u0259tic\u0259…<\/p>\n

M\u0259ni b\u0259db\u0259xt eyl\u0259y\u0259n,<\/p>\n

xo\u015fb\u0259xt eyl\u0259y\u0259n gec\u0259.<\/p>\n

\n

\u00d6N D\u00d6RD\u00dcNC\u00dc F\u018fS\u0130L<\/p>\n

\n

\u00c7APIQLA G\u00d6R\u00dc\u015e<\/p>\n

\n

\u201c\u0130ld\u0131r\u0131m, \u015fim\u015f\u0259k \u00e7axacaq, m\u00f6ht\u0259\u015f\u0259m z\u0259lz\u0259l\u0259 olacaq, insanlar d\u00fcnyada ya\u015fayandan b\u0259ri bel\u0259 d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tli z\u0259lz\u0259l\u0259 olmay\u0131b. B\u00f6y\u00fck \u015f\u0259h\u0259r \u00fc\u00e7 b\u00f6l\u00fcn\u0259c\u0259k, b\u00f6y\u00fck ada qeyb olacaq, da\u011flar u\u00e7ub da\u011f\u0131lacaq. O g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259 insanlar \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc axtaracaqlar, tapmayacaqlar, \u00f6lm\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r, \u00f6l\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r. Yeni s\u0259man\u0131 v\u0259 yeni torpa\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm, \u00e7\u00fcnki k\u00f6hn\u0259 s\u0259ma v\u0259 k\u00f6hn\u0259 torpaq art\u0131q yoxdu, d\u0259niz d\u0259 yoxdu\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0B\u0130BL\u0130YA. Apokalipsis<\/p>\n

\n

\u201c\u015eairl\u0259rin yaratd\u0131qlar\u0131 t\u0259\u015fbeh d\u0259 bununla ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r. Niobeya \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259 yeddi o\u011flunu, sonra yeddi q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 itir\u0259r\u0259k qayaya \u00e7evrilir. Bununla \u015fairl\u0259r dem\u0259k ist\u0259yir ki, \u00e7\u0259kilm\u0259z d\u0259rd insan\u0131 n\u0259inki m\u00fcc edir, dilini-a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 qurudur, o, h\u0259tta d\u00f6n\u00fcb da\u015fa, qayaya da \u00e7evril\u0259 bil\u0259r. Q\u0259lbimizi \u0259n d\u00f6z\u00fclm\u0259z d\u0259rd, a\u011fr\u0131 \u00e7u\u011flayanda dan\u0131\u015fa bilmirik, hissl\u0259rimizi ah-f\u0259\u011fanla, harayla, f\u0259ryadla ifad\u0259 etm\u0259kd\u0259n acizik. Bel\u0259 anlarda insan\u0131n q\u0259lbi yaln\u0131z d\u0259rind\u0259n d\u0259rin s\u00fckuta q\u0259rq olur. S\u00f6zl\u0259 ifad\u0259 olunan, ba\u015fqalar\u0131yla b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015f\u00fcl\u0259n, yerli-yataql\u0131 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131lan d\u0259rd s\u0259mimi a\u011fr\u0131 deyil. \u018fsl a\u011fr\u0131n\u0131n dili lald\u0131r\u201d.<\/p>\n

M\u0130\u015eEL MONTEN, frans\u0131z filosofu,<\/p>\n

Essel\u0259r (T\u0259cr\u00fcb\u0259l\u0259r)<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cRahatl\u0131q v\u0259 h\u0259tta \u00f6l\u00fcm insana Xeyirl\u0259 \u015e\u0259r aras\u0131nda azad se\u00e7imd\u0259n daha \u0259zizdir\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0F. M. DOSTOYEVSK\u0130. \u00abKaramazov qarda\u015flar\u0131\u00bb, \u00abB\u00f6y\u00fck inkvizitor\u00bb f\u0259slind\u0259n<\/p>\n

\n

S \u0259h\u0259r 10 rad\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 \u018fhliman\u0131n cib telefonuna SMS g\u0259ldi. Polkovnik Qas\u0131m \u015eeydayev bu telefona z\u0259ng etm\u0259sini xahi\u015f edirdi. Polkovnikin ad\u0131 v\u0259 famili \u018fhlimana tan\u0131\u015f g\u0259ldi, amma kim oldu\u011funu, n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r \u00e7al\u0131\u015fsa da, yad\u0131na sala bilmirdi. H\u0259r ehtimala qar\u015f\u0131, ekrana \u00e7\u0131xan n\u00f6mr\u0259ni telefonuna yazd\u0131, y\u0131\u011fd\u0131. Cavab d\u0259rhal g\u0259ldi:<\/p>\n

-H\u0259r vaxt\u0131n\u0131z xeyir, \u018fhliman m\u00fc\u0259llim.<\/p>\n

-Salam. M\u0259n\u0259 SMS g\u00f6nd\u0259rmisiniz.<\/p>\n

-B\u0259li. \u00c7ox vacib bir m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259yl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 sizinl\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259liyik.<\/p>\n

-Kim, siz?<\/p>\n

-G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 bil\u0259rsiniz. Ax\u015fam 6-da biz\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259 bil\u0259rsiniz? \u00dcnvan\u0131 indi mobiliniz\u0259 g\u00f6nd\u0259rir\u0259m.<\/p>\n

Cavab g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259d\u0259n telefonu asd\u0131. Az sonra ekranda \u00fcnvan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ax\u015fam 6-ya on d\u0259qiq\u0259 qalm\u0131\u015f \u018fhliman dalan\u0131n \u00e7\u0131xmaz\u0131nda iri d\u0259mir darvazan\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndayd\u0131. Z\u0259ngi basd\u0131, videofonda kimins\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc:<\/p>\n

-\u018fhliman m\u00fc\u0259llim?<\/p>\n

-B\u0259li<\/p>\n

-Buyurun.<\/p>\n

Darvazan\u0131n iki lay\u0131 relsl\u0259r \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 o t\u0259r\u0259f – bu t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kildi. \u018fhliman i\u00e7\u0259ri girdi. H\u0259y\u0259tin geni\u015f meydan adland\u0131r\u0131la bil\u0259c\u0259k sah\u0259sind\u0259 \u0259cn\u0259bi ma\u015f\u0131nlar d\u00fcz\u00fclm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc: \u201cRols-Roys\u201d, \u201cPejo\u201d, \u201cNissan\u201d, \u201cFord\u201d, \u201cFiat\u201d, \u201cMersedes\u201d, \u201cBentli\u201d, \u201c\u015eevrole\u201d, \u201cBMV\u201d. \u018fhliman sayd\u0131 – doqquz ma\u015f\u0131n idi.<\/p>\n

H\u0259y\u0259tin o ba\u015f\u0131nda \u00fc\u00e7m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259li iqam\u0259tgah ucal\u0131rd\u0131. \u0130qam\u0259tgah – bu binaya ayr\u0131 ad verm\u0259k olmazd\u0131. M\u00fcxt\u0259lif s\u0259viyy\u0259li eyvanlar, \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259b\u0259ndl\u0259r, erkerl\u0259r, lodjiyalar… Qap\u0131da bayaq videofonda sif\u0259tini g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fc adam dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u018fhliman\u0131 qar\u015f\u0131lay\u0131b ikinci m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259y\u0259 apard\u0131. Geni\u015f foyed\u0259n ke\u00e7ib ondan da geni\u015f salona girm\u0259d\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l n\u0259rd-taxta v\u0259 at\u0131lan z\u0259rl\u0259rin s\u0259sini e\u015fitdi.<\/p>\n

Salonda biri \u00e7ox qoca, biri nisb\u0259t\u0259n cavan (o da altm\u0131\u015f-altm\u0131\u015f be\u015f ya\u015flar\u0131nda olard\u0131) iki ki\u015fi n\u0259rd at\u0131rd\u0131lar. \u018fhliman, dey\u0259s\u0259n, qocan\u0131 ha\u00e7ansa g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, yadda\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qurdalay\u0131b dumanl\u0131 \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 olsa da xat\u0131rlad\u0131. G\u0259r\u0259k ki, ha\u00e7ansa ev qon\u015fular\u0131yd\u0131. \u018fhlimana z\u0259ng ed\u0259n polkovnik d\u0259 el\u0259 o idi. Polkovnik a\u011f k\u00f6yn\u0259kd\u0259ydi, lampasl\u0131 \u015falvar\u0131n\u0131 saxlayan k\u0259m\u0259rl\u0259r \u00e7iynind\u0259n as\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, ayaqlar\u0131 yum\u015faq mix\u0259yi m\u0259stl\u0259rin i\u00e7ind\u0259ydi. T\u0259r\u0259fda\u015f\u0131 t\u00fcnd g\u00f6y kostyumdayd\u0131, eyni r\u0259ngli qalstuk taxm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman i\u00e7\u0259ri gir\u0259n kimi h\u0259r ikisi aya\u011fa durdu. Qoca \u0259lini uzad\u0131b:<\/p>\n

– Polkovnik Qas\u0131m \u015eeydayev, – dedi, – biz g\u0259r\u0259k ki, tan\u0131\u015f\u0131q.<\/p>\n

O biri ki\u015fi aya\u011fa duranda \u018fhliman onun sa\u011f yana\u011f\u0131nda iri \u00e7ap\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc. \u018flini uzatd\u0131, amma ad\u0131n\u0131, familini dem\u0259di. Qas\u0131m:<\/p>\n

– \u018fyl\u0259\u015fin, – dedi, – bu saat general\u0131n d\u0259rsini verim – sonra s\u00f6hb\u0259t\u0259 ke\u00e7\u0259k.<\/p>\n

Bu s\u00f6zl\u0259ri dey\u0259nd\u0259 iri\u015fdi, yersiz, \u015fit zarafat etmi\u015f adam kimi ma\u011fm\u0131n-ma\u011fm\u0131n general\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 baxd\u0131. General\u0131n t\u00fck\u00fc d\u0259 t\u0259rp\u0259nm\u0259di, o s\u00f6zl\u0259r\u0259 d\u0259 m\u0259h\u0259l qoymadan:<\/p>\n

-At g\u00f6r\u0259k, – dedi. – El\u0259 dedi, el\u0259 bil \u0259mr verirdi.<\/p>\n

-Aha, \u015fe\u015f s\u0259…<\/p>\n

Oynad\u0131.<\/p>\n

-\u00c7ahar d\u00fc…<\/p>\n

Yan qap\u0131 c\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131yla a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131, qara geyinmi\u015f, ba\u015f\u0131na qara \u015fal ba\u011flam\u0131\u015f qad\u0131n, \u0259lind\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7 st\u0259kan \u00e7ay, m\u00fcr\u0259bb\u0259, konfet, q\u0259nd v\u0259 limon qoyulmu\u015f podnos, i\u00e7\u0259ri girdi. \u00c7aylar\u0131 podnosdan g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb Qas\u0131m\u0131n, \u00c7ap\u0131\u011f\u0131n qaba\u011f\u0131na qoydu, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 qald\u0131r\u0131b he\u00e7 birinin \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 baxm\u0131rd\u0131. Amma \u018fhliman\u0131n \u00e7ay\u0131n\u0131 qoyanda \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 baxd\u0131, bird\u0259n- bir\u0259 hal\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fdi, st\u0259kan \u0259lind\u0259n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb \u00e7ilik-\u00e7ilik oldu, \u00e7ay \u018fhliman\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 da\u011f\u0131ld\u0131. Qad\u0131n dodaqalt\u0131 n\u0259 is\u0259 deyirdi. \u018fhliman ayd\u0131nca:<\/p>\n

-qatil, qatil… – s\u00f6zl\u0259rini e\u015fidirdi, – birc\u0259 balam\u0131n qatili…<\/p>\n

K\u0259skin \u00e7evrililb otaqdan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. He\u00e7 \u00e7ay\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 da\u011f\u0131td\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00fczr d\u0259 ist\u0259m\u0259di. \u018fv\u0259zin\u0259 Qas\u0131m \u00fczrxahl\u0131q etdi. Amma n\u0259 polkovnik, n\u0259 general qad\u0131n\u0131n \u0259caib h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rind\u0259n t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Qas\u0131m:<\/p>\n

– Fikir verm\u0259yin, – dedi, – \u00e7ox-\u00e7ox ill\u0259r \u0259vv\u0259l balam\u0131z\u0131 avtomobil q\u0259zas\u0131nda itirdik, anas\u0131 h\u0259r t\u0259z\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fc adam\u0131 onun qatili say\u0131r. Bir p\u0259nc qo\u015fa – d\u0259rmand\u0131r, general.<\/p>\n

General z\u0259rl\u0259ri qo\u015falay\u0131b atd\u0131:<\/p>\n

-Bu da p\u0259nc qo\u015fa.<\/p>\n

-\u018fhs\u0259n, b\u0259r\u0259kallah, general, t\u0259brik. Yen\u0259 mars oldum.<\/p>\n

N\u0259rd-taxtan\u0131 qatlay\u0131b q\u0131ra\u011fa qoydu. Qap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131 – bu s\u0259f\u0259r cavan q\u0131z – g\u00fcman ki, qulluq\u00e7ular\u0131 idi – bir st\u0259kan \u00e7ay g\u0259tirib \u018fhliman\u0131n qaba\u011f\u0131na qoydu.<\/p>\n

-Day hans\u0131 h\u0259kim\u0259 getm\u0259dik, burda, Moskvada, T\u00fcrkiy\u0259d\u0259, \u0130randa, h\u0259tta \u0130sraild\u0259, – bilmirdin Qas\u0131m bu s\u00f6zl\u0259ri kim\u0259 deyir, \u018fhlimana, \u00c7ap\u0131\u011fa ya h\u0259r ikisin\u0259 – nicat\u0131 yoxdu. Harda ayna g\u00f6rd\u00fc, deyir aynada balam\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m. Dip-diri.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman yaln\u0131z indi diqq\u0259t el\u0259di ki, sa\u011f divardak\u0131 iri b\u0259d\u0259nn\u00fcma g\u00fczg\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qara \u00f6rt\u00fck sal\u0131n\u0131b.<\/p>\n

Polkovnik aya\u011fa durdu:<\/p>\n

-Ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n, – dedi, – gedim bir hovur xan\u0131m\u0131 sakitl\u0259\u015fdirim.<\/p>\n

Otaqdan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. \u00c7ap\u0131q \u018fhlimana t\u0259r\u0259f \u00e7evrildi, indi \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00e7ap\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcrd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

-Polkovnik sizi m\u0259nim xahi\u015fiml\u0259 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131b, – dedi. – Sizin haqq\u0131n\u0131zda b\u0259zi m\u0259lumatlar\u0131m\u0131z var. B\u0259zi kolleqalar\u0131n\u0131zdan, x\u00fcs\u00fcsil\u0259 professor Qafarzad\u0259d\u0259n yan\u0131ql\u0131 oldu\u011funuzu da bilirik.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman diqq\u0259tl\u0259 dinl\u0259yirdi. S\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 hara ba\u011flayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 k\u0259sdirmirdi.<\/p>\n

-Qafarzad\u0259nin atas\u0131 Z\u0259lim ki\u015fiyl\u0259 bir yerd\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yirdik. \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, o vaxt o ya\u015fl\u0131 adam, m\u0259n cavan u\u015faq idim. \u0130ndi r\u0259hm\u0259t\u0259 gedib, odur ki, m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259ni a\u00e7maq olar. T\u0259\u015fkilat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n \u0259n gizli \u015f\u00f6b\u0259sinin \u0259m\u0259kda\u015f\u0131 idi. \u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259 h\u0259dd\u0259n ziyad\u0259 q\u0259ddar adamd\u0131. Ad\u0131n\u0131 da Z\u0259lim yox, Zal\u0131m qoymu\u015fduq. Odur ki, o\u011fluna da Z\u0259lim o\u011flu yox, Zal\u0131m o\u011flu deyirdik.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman bunu bilmirdi, amma Qafarzad\u0259y\u0259 Zal\u0131m o\u011flu deyilm\u0259sind\u0259n xo\u015fland\u0131. Yeri g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 bundan istifad\u0259 etm\u0259k olard\u0131. \u00c7ap\u0131q davam etdi:<\/p>\n

-M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 ondad\u0131 ki, Zal\u0131mo\u011fluna atas\u0131ndan \u00e7ox qiym\u0259tli bir miras qal\u0131b. Qiym\u0259ti el\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fckd\u00fcr ki, he\u00e7 bir valyutayla \u00f6l\u00e7m\u0259k olmaz. \u00c7ox, bel\u0259 \u00e7ooox q\u0259dim bir xal\u0131d\u0131r. Deyil\u0259n\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, h\u0259tta \u015eumer d\u00f6vr\u00fcnd\u0259n qal\u0131b. Do\u011frusu, buna inanmaq \u00e7\u0259tindir, \u00e7\u00fcnki d\u00fcnyada \u0259n q\u0259dim Paz\u0131r\u0131q xal\u0131s\u0131 min ya\u015f\u0131ndad\u0131r, bu ondan da q\u0259dimdirs\u0259, olsun, tutal\u0131m, min iki y\u00fcz, min \u00fc\u00e7 y\u00fcz il. Bu tarix hara, \u015eumer hara?.. N\u0259 is\u0259… m\u00fch\u00fcm olan bu deyil. \u0130ngilis dilini bilirsiz?<\/p>\n

-Bilir\u0259m.<\/p>\n

-AB\u015e-da bir kitab burax\u0131blar. Bu xal\u00e7an\u0131n kimd\u0259n – kim\u0259 ke\u00e7diyini bir-bir g\u00f6st\u0259ribl\u0259r. \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, \u00e7ox q\u0259dim d\u00f6vrl\u0259r haqq\u0131nda onlar\u0131n da m\u0259lumat\u0131 yoxdur. Bizim is\u0259, son d\u00f6vrl\u0259rd\u0259 xal\u00e7an\u0131n hans\u0131 \u0259ll\u0259rd\u0259n ke\u00e7diyi haqq\u0131nda d\u0259qiq m\u0259lumat\u0131m\u0131z var. Ke\u00e7\u0259n \u0259srin \u0259vv\u0259ll\u0259rind\u0259 bir Bak\u0131 milyon\u00e7usu T\u0259briz bazar\u0131nda al\u0131b bu xal\u0131n\u0131, Bak\u0131ya g\u0259tirib. 20-ci ill\u0259rd\u0259 bol\u015fevikl\u0259r bu milyon\u00e7unu g\u00fcll\u0259l\u0259yib, b\u00fct\u00fcn \u0259mlak\u0131n\u0131 m\u00fcsadir\u0259 edibl\u0259r. Xal\u00e7an\u0131 da 25 ya\u015fl\u0131 \u00e7ekist Z\u0259lim Qafarzad\u0259 qamarlay\u0131b.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman divarlar\u0131n \u015e\u0259rq hamamlar\u0131 \u00fcslubunda yarad\u0131lm\u0131\u015f z\u00f6vqs\u00fcz nax\u0131\u015flar\u0131na, y\u00fcz lampal\u0131 a\u011f\u0131r, b\u00fcll\u00fcr \u00e7\u0131l-\u00e7\u0131ra\u011fa, servanta d\u00fcz\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f q\u0131z\u0131ll\u0131-g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015fl\u00fc qab-qaca\u011fa, servant\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qoyulmu\u015f \u015fah\u0259 qalxm\u0131\u015f at heyk\u0259lciyin\u0259 bax\u0131r v\u0259 he\u00e7 c\u00fcr anlaya bilmirdi ki, bu xal\u00e7a s\u00f6hb\u0259tinin ona n\u0259 d\u0259xli var v\u0259 bu \u00e7ap\u0131q general b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131 n\u0259 m\u0259qs\u0259dl\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r.<\/p>\n

-Bunlar\u0131 siz\u0259 niy\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131ram… Bu saat izah ed\u0259c\u0259m. Sizin hipnozla m\u0259\u015f\u011ful olma\u011f\u0131n\u0131zdan v\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rinizin \u0259lahidd\u0259 t\u0259sir g\u00fcc\u00fcnd\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259rimiz var. Bu m\u0259nim fikrim deyil, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n bir \u00e7ox g\u00f6rk\u0259mli m\u00fct\u0259x\u0259ssisi t\u0259sdiq edir ki, bu xal\u00e7an\u0131n nax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 – ba\u015fqa he\u00e7 bir xal\u00e7aya b\u0259nz\u0259m\u0259y\u0259n nax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 – \u00e7ox b\u00f6y\u00fck sirl\u0259rin a\u00e7ar\u0131d\u0131r. Bir s\u00f6zl\u0259 – bu yerd\u0259, – \u00c7ap\u0131q p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lt\u0131ya ke\u00e7di, – bu nax\u0131\u015flarda d\u00fcnyan\u0131n sonu haqq\u0131nda m\u0259lumat verilir. Mayyalar\u0131n t\u0259qvimind\u0259 d\u00fcnyan\u0131n ax\u0131r\u0131 \u00e7atd\u0131\u011f\u0131 haqq\u0131nda s\u00f6z-s\u00f6hb\u0259tin d\u00fcnyada nec\u0259 ajiotaj, qalmaqal yaratd\u0131\u011f\u0131 yad\u0131n\u0131zdad\u0131r, y\u0259qin. \u018fld\u0259 etdiyimiz agentura m\u0259lumatlar\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259, Qafarzad\u0259 uzun ill\u0259rin ara\u015fd\u0131rmalar\u0131 \u0259sas\u0131nda bu nax\u0131\u015flar\u0131n sirrini a\u00e7maq, y\u0259ni d\u00fcnyann ax\u0131r\u0131n b\u0259yan etm\u0259yin \u0259r\u0259f\u0259sind\u0259dir. \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fck ki, bu c\u0259f\u0259ngiyyatd\u0131r, amma ax\u0131, buna inananlar olacaq. M\u0259lum deyil, n\u0259 dey\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r, bu tarix, bu hadis\u0259 ha\u00e7an olas\u0131d\u0131r, yuz ild\u0259n, min ild\u0259n sonram\u0131, ya yax\u0131n bir ay\u0131n, on g\u00fcn\u00fcn i\u00e7ind\u0259mi… \u0130ndi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n sonuna, tutal\u0131m, bir ay qal\u0131b x\u0259b\u0259ri yay\u0131l\u0131r, g\u00f6r\u00fcn c\u0259miyy\u0259td\u0259 n\u0259 z\u0259lz\u0259l\u0259l\u0259r, n\u0259 v\u0259lv\u0259l\u0259l\u0259r ba\u015flay\u0131r. Onsuz da bir-birinin \u0259tini yem\u0259y\u0259, qan\u0131n\u0131 i\u00e7m\u0259y\u0259 haz\u0131r olan adamlar kimis\u0259 \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u0259y\u0259, kimins\u0259 var-d\u00f6vl\u0259tini m\u0259nims\u0259m\u0259y\u0259, kimis\u0259 zorlama\u011fa giri\u015f\u0259c\u0259k. \u00abOnsuz da d\u00fcnyan\u0131n ax\u0131r\u0131d\u0131r da\u00bb, – dey\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r. Bunumu ist\u0259yirsiz?<\/p>\n

-\u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, yox, – dedim, amma \u00fcr\u0259yimin d\u0259rinliyind\u0259 bu ehtimaldan m\u0259mnun da qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m h\u0259tta, qoy bir-birinin bo\u011faz\u0131n\u0131 \u00fczs\u00fcnl\u0259r, haramzadalar, insanlar bundan art\u0131\u011f\u0131na layiq deyill\u0259r. Bir yandan baxanda, – dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm, – el\u0259 xal\u00e7as\u0131z -flans\u0131z da d\u00fcnyan\u0131n ax\u0131r\u0131d\u0131r da… Bu q\u0259d\u0259r z\u00fclm, \u0259dal\u0259tsizlik, yalan, riyakarl\u0131q, poz\u011funluq i\u00e7ind\u0259 ya\u015famaq insanlar\u0131n \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck g\u00fcnah\u0131 v\u0259 \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck c\u0259zas\u0131 deyil m\u0259y\u0259r?<\/p>\n

-M\u0259nd\u0259n n\u0259 ist\u0259yirsiz? -soru\u015fdum.<\/p>\n

-Bilir\u0259m, sizin\u00e7\u00fcn bu \u00e7\u0259tin olacaq, amma bir b\u0259han\u0259 tap\u0131b Qafazad\u0259yl\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn. Onu z\u0259r\u0259rsizl\u0259\u015fdirin, irad\u0259sini ram edin, fikirl\u0259rini, h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rini, davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131, verdiyi q\u0259rarlar\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz\u0259 tabe edin. \u018fsrl\u0259r boyu insanlara z\u00fclm, \u00f6l\u00fcm v\u0259 iztirab g\u0259tirmi\u015f o m\u0259\u015fum xal\u00e7a da m\u0259hv edilm\u0259lidir. Qiym\u0259ti n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r olur-olsun, insan \u00f6mr\u00fcnd\u0259n ki, qiym\u0259tli deyil. H\u0259m d\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259t t\u0259k bir insandan deyil, b\u00fct\u00fcn insanlardan, insanl\u0131qdan gedir. H\u0259l\u0259 m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259nin beyn\u0259lxalq t\u0259r\u0259fini demir\u0259m. Biz\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259n olan yaban\u00e7\u0131 q\u00fcvv\u0259l\u0259rin bundan istifad\u0259 edib \u00f6lk\u0259mizd\u0259 nec\u0259 ara qar\u0131\u015fd\u0131racaqlar\u0131n\u0131 adam he\u00e7 a\u011fl\u0131na da \u011f\u0259tirm\u0259k ist\u0259mir, amma bu da istisna olunmur. \u0130ndi h\u0259r \u015fey sizd\u0259n as\u0131l\u0131d\u0131r, biz bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259nin ayr\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rm\u00fcr\u00fck. Qafarzad\u0259 d\u00fcnya medias\u0131n\u0131n, \u00f6lk\u0259mizd\u0259ki s\u0259firlikl\u0259rin d\u0259 diqq\u0259t m\u0259rk\u0259zind\u0259dir. Sizd\u0259n ba\u015fqa onu \u0259l\u0259 ke\u00e7irm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015fqa yolumuz yoxdur.<\/p>\n

Qas\u0131m ota\u011fa daxil oldu. G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, o da s\u00f6hb\u0259tmizin bitdiyini duymu\u015fdu.<\/p>\n

-\u00c7aylar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 t\u0259z\u0259l\u0259sinl\u0259r?<\/p>\n

-Yox, sa\u011f olun.<\/p>\n

-B\u0259lk\u0259, bir n\u0259rd ataq, qisas\u0131m\u0131 al\u0131m, n\u0259 deyirsiz, general?<\/p>\n

\u00c7ap\u0131q:<\/p>\n

-Yox, getm\u0259liy\u0259m. Qisas qiyam\u0259t\u0259 qals\u0131n, – dey\u0259 \u018fhliman\u0131 m\u0259nal\u0131 bax\u0131\u015flarla s\u00fczd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Amma salondan birinci \u018fhliman \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Qap\u0131\u00e7\u0131 onu darvazayacan \u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc. D\u00fcym\u0259ni basd\u0131, darvaza a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131, \u018fhliman k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Uzaqda iqam\u0259tgah\u0131n b\u00f6y\u00fck salonunda \u00c7ap\u0131qla polkovnikin dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 el\u0259 ayd\u0131n e\u015fidirdi ki, el\u0259 bil lap qula\u011f\u0131n\u0131n dibind\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131lar.<\/p>\n

-Nec\u0259 oldu, raz\u0131la\u015fd\u0131?<\/p>\n

-M\u0259nc\u0259, h\u0259. \u0130\u015fin g\u00f6rs\u00fcn, sonra \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc aradan qald\u0131rmaq asand\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 \u00e7ox uzaqda edil\u0259n s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259ri bel\u0259 ayd\u0131n e\u015fitm\u0259sin\u0259 mat qal\u0131rd\u0131. Bunu izah da ed\u0259 bilmirdi, amma d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc ki, \u0259g\u0259r biz telefon, radio vasit\u0259siyl\u0259 \u0259n uzaq m\u0259saf\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n s\u0259sl\u0259ri e\u015fid\u0259 biliriks\u0259, n\u0259d\u0259n insan qula\u011f\u0131n\u0131n da bel\u0259 imkanlar\u0131 olmas\u0131n. H\u0259r halda, b\u0259zi insanlar\u0131n bel\u0259 qabiliyy\u0259ti ola bil\u0259r. G\u00fcman ki, m\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcm d\u0259 el\u0259 nadir insanlardanam. H\u0259r halda, g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn t\u0259sir g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u0259 inanan t\u0259k bir \u00f6z\u00fcm deyil\u0259m, bunu bil\u0259n v\u0259 bundan istifad\u0259 etm\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259nl\u0259r d\u0259 varm\u0131\u015f. Qoy onlar \u00f6z oyunlar\u0131n\u0131 oynas\u0131nlar, m\u0259n d\u0259 \u00f6z oyunumu oynayacam. G\u00f6r\u0259k kim kim\u0259 k\u0259l\u0259k g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k. Bu i\u015fd\u0259 m\u0259ni c\u0259lb ed\u0259n m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 ba\u015fqad\u0131r. M\u0259ni arxadan b\u0131\u00e7aqlayanlar\u0131n \u00e7oxusu c\u0259zalar\u0131na \u00e7atd\u0131, indi n\u00f6vb\u0259 Qafarzad\u0259nindi. F\u00fcrs\u0259ti f\u00f6t\u0259 verm\u0259k olmaz.<\/p>\n

\n

ON BE\u015e\u0130NC\u0130 F\u018fS\u0130L<\/p>\n

\n

AY R\u018fQS\u0130<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cGec\u0259 x\u0259lv\u0259tc\u0259 biz\u0259 sevgili yar g\u0259lmi\u015f idi,<\/p>\n

\u00dcz\u00fc aydan da g\u00f6z\u0259l nazl\u0131 nigar g\u0259lmi\u015f idi\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0N\u0130ZAM\u0130 G\u018fNC\u018fV\u0130<\/p>\n

\n

\u201c\u018ffsus ki, yar\u0131m gec\u0259 g\u0259ldi, gec\u0259 getdi,<\/p>\n

He\u00e7 bilmir\u0259m \u00f6mr\u00fcm nec\u0259 g\u0259ldi, nec\u0259 getdi\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0A\u011eA B\u018fY\u0130M A\u011eA<\/p>\n

\n

Ay q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n g\u0259li\u015find\u0259n bir ay ke\u00e7mi\u015fdi. Bu m\u00fcdd\u0259td\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015fdim onu. H\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 h\u0259r gir\u0259nd\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rim onu axtarsa da, bir d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 olsun rastla\u015fmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131q. B\u0259lk\u0259, x\u0259st\u0259l\u0259nib ya valideynl\u0259ri q\u0131zlar\u0131n\u0131n q\u0259rib\u0259liyind\u0259n duyuq d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb onu m\u00fcalic\u0259 etdirirl\u0259r. \u00c7\u0259tinlik ondayd\u0131 ki, onlarla bu bar\u0259d\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa da \u00fcr\u0259k el\u0259mirdim.<\/p>\n

\u00dcr\u0259yimin d\u0259rinlyind\u0259 onunla g\u00fcn i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda qar\u015f\u0131la\u015fma\u011f\u0131 da ist\u0259mirdim. O, Ay adam\u0131 kimi b\u0259nz\u0259rsizdi, g\u00fcn i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda g\u00f6z\u0259lliyin\u0259 r\u0259\u011fm\u0259n, adid\u0259n adi ba\u015fqalar\u0131ndan biri olard\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ay b\u0259dirl\u0259nmi\u015fdi. Bilirdim ki, Ay m\u0259hz bu fazas\u0131nda ay adamlar\u0131n\u0131 – somnambulalar\u0131 cazib\u0259 q\u00fcvv\u0259sin\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kir, \u0259n risqli h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rini t\u0259nziml\u0259yir.<\/p>\n

… v\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 bir ist\u0259kl\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259, g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m v\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259 – g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259 eyvan qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131q qoydum. G\u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 yuxu getmirdi. Eyvan qap\u0131s\u0131yla \u00fczb\u0259\u00fcz yum\u015faq k\u00fcrs\u00fcd\u0259 \u0259yl\u0259\u015fib g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdim. N\u0259yi g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdim, kimi g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdim? Bilmirdim, amma g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdim. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 \u00f6mr\u00fcm boyu h\u0259sr\u0259tiyl\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259nin t\u0259krar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdim. B\u0259lk\u0259, g\u00f6zl\u0259diyim bir gec\u0259nin aldan\u0131\u015f\u0131, bir gec\u0259lik t\u0259s\u0259llisi idi.<\/p>\n

Z\u0259nnimd\u0259 yan\u0131lmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Yen\u0259 d\u0259 d\u00f6rd\u0259 d\u00fcz on d\u0259qiq\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259mi\u015f Aydan eyvan qap\u0131ma yana\u015fd\u0131. Bu s\u0259f\u0259r onunla b\u0259rab\u0259r pi\u015fiyi d\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. Pi\u015fik a\u00e7\u0131q qap\u0131dan i\u00e7\u0259ri girdi, m\u0131yoldad\u0131. Aydan da ota\u011fa daxil oldu. G\u00f6zl\u0259ri qapal\u0131yd\u0131. Topu\u011funacan uzun \u00e7\u0259hray\u0131 gec\u0259 paltar\u0131ndayd\u0131. \u015e\u0259ffaf paltar\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 b\u0259d\u0259ninin b\u00fct\u00fcn \u0259zalar\u0131, inc\u0259 cizgil\u0259ri ayd\u0131n sezilirdi. Otaqda h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t etm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. El\u0259 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t edirdi sanasan bu ota\u011fa \u00e7oxdan b\u0259l\u0259d idi – bir yer\u0259 toxunmadan, bir \u015feyi yerind\u0259n d\u0259b\u0259rtm\u0259d\u0259n… bel\u0259d\u0259n – bel\u0259 ke\u00e7irdi. Bu, adic\u0259 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259r deyildi, r\u0259qs idi v\u0259 bu r\u0259qsi ota\u011f\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n Ay \u015f\u00fcalar\u0131ndan k\u0259nara \u00e7\u0131xmadan edirdi. Musiqisiz r\u0259qs edirdi, amma adama el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, h\u0259zin bir melodiyan\u0131n m\u00fc\u015fayi\u0259tiyl\u0259 s\u00fcz\u00fcr.<\/p>\n

… Q\u00fcr\u00fcb \u00e7a\u011f\u0131 M\u0259rd\u0259kan t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n d\u0259niz\u0259 sar\u0131 gedirik. Buludlar bad\u0131mcan r\u0259ngind\u0259… Q\u0259rib Ab\u015feron ax\u015fam\u0131n\u0131n k\u00f6vr\u0259k q\u00fcss\u0259si \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcb al\u0259m\u0259… \u00dcst\u00fc a\u00e7\u0131q ma\u015f\u0131nday\u0131q, s\u00fckan arxas\u0131ndayam. K\u00fcl\u0259k yan\u0131mda oturan g\u00f6z\u00fc q\u0259m dolu q\u0131z\u0131n qumral sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131r. G\u00f6zl\u0259ri – qaranl\u0131q gec\u0259 r\u0259ngind\u0259, gec\u0259d\u0259n damm\u0131\u015f kimi… G\u00f6zl\u0259ri iki qara \u015fan\u0131 gil\u0259si… Q\u0131z – Aydand\u0131r. \u00dcz\u00fcm\u00fc yoldan \u00e7evirib ona bax\u0131ram. G\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yir, a\u011f di\u015fl\u0259rinin i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259rimi qama\u015fd\u0131r\u0131r… Qolunu boynuma sal\u0131r, yana\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yana\u011f\u0131ma yap\u0131\u015fd\u0131r\u0131r.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7im \u0259n n\u0259vazi\u015fli, \u0259n isti s\u00f6zl\u0259rl\u0259 doludur. S\u00f6zl\u0259r meyv\u0259 kimi sulan\u0131r, yeti\u015fib d\u0259ril\u0259c\u0259yi an\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259yir. \u00d6mr\u00fcm boyu kim\u0259s\u0259 dem\u0259k ist\u0259diyim v\u0259 he\u00e7 vaxt he\u00e7 k\u0259s\u0259 dem\u0259diyim s\u00f6zl\u0259r i\u00e7imd\u0259 qu\u015f kimi \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131n\u0131r, q\u0259f\u0259sd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xa bilmir.<\/p>\n

Kim\u0259 dey\u0259c\u0259m bu s\u00f6zl\u0259ri? Yan\u0131mda ki, he\u00e7 k\u0259s yoxdu.<\/p>\n

He\u00e7 vaxt \u00fcst\u00fc a\u00e7\u0131q ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131m olmay\u0131b. He\u00e7 vaxt s\u00fckan arxas\u0131na ke\u00e7ib ma\u015f\u0131n s\u00fcrm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. He\u00e7 vaxt he\u00e7 bir k\u00fcl\u0259k he\u00e7 bir q\u0131z\u0131n sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 \u00e7\u0131rpmay\u0131b. Amma bilir\u0259m ki, bu q\u0131z \u00f6mr\u00fcm boyu g\u00f6zl\u0259diyim v\u0259 bu gec\u0259 ota\u011f\u0131ma q\u0259fil g\u0259l\u0259n Aydand\u0131r… Az\u0131 otuz il \u0259vv\u0259l x\u0259yali ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131mda x\u0259yali s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcl\u00fcy\u00fcml\u0259 x\u0259yali d\u0259niz\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f ged\u0259n, x\u0259yali k\u00fcl\u0259yin sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 \u00e7\u0131rpd\u0131\u011f\u0131 q\u0131zd\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Vaxt anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131 yoxdur bu g\u00fcn ota\u011f\u0131mda. Uzaq x\u0259yallar\u0131mdan bu g\u00fcnk\u00fc ger\u00e7\u0259kliy\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r he\u00e7 bir VAXT ke\u00e7m\u0259yib. VAXT donub qal\u0131b.<\/p>\n

R\u0259qs ed\u0259n q\u0131z\u0131n \u0259ll\u0259rinin x\u0259fif titr\u0259yi\u015fi qulaqlar\u0131m\u0131 musiqiyl\u0259 doldururdu… Tommazo Albinioninin \u201cAdajiosu\u201dnu dinl\u0259yirdim sanki – \u0259b\u0259di ayr\u0131l\u0131q qorxusu, s\u0259ad\u0259t g\u00fcnl\u0259rinin bel\u0259 az olmas\u0131ndan do\u011fan t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf v\u0259 q\u00fcss\u0259 melodiyas\u0131. Balerinalar sayaq, puantlardaym\u0131\u015f kimi, barmaqlar\u0131n\u0131n ucuyla add\u0131mlay\u0131rd\u0131. Yen\u0259 d\u0259 D\u0259d\u0259 Qorqud t\u0259\u015fbehi: \u00abyer basmay\u0131b yeriy\u0259n\u00bb…<\/p>\n

Aydan\u0131n r\u0259qsi an\u0131mlar oyd\u0131rd\u0131, S\u00fcfil\u0259rin c\u0259zvi, f\u0131rlanan d\u0259rvi\u015fl\u0259rin h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259ri g\u0259lirdi a\u011fl\u0131ma. Ancaq indi g\u00f6y\u00e7\u0259k k\u00f6rp\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 n\u0259d\u0259n \u00abay par\u00e7as\u0131\u00bb deyildiyinin d\u0259rin m\u0259nas\u0131n\u0131 anlama\u011fa ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Ay par\u00e7as\u0131 idi Aydan. Ay kimi sirli, Ay\u0131n sehrini, cazib\u0259sini z\u0259rif v\u00fccuduna hopdurmu\u015f r\u0259qqas\u0259… F\u0131rland\u0131qca gec\u0259 paltar\u0131n\u0131n k\u00fcl\u0259yi vururdu \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259, ba\u015f\u0131m h\u0259rl\u0259nirdi, havalan\u0131rd\u0131m. Durub bu balaca qona\u011f\u0131m\u0131 ba\u011fr\u0131ma basmaq, sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 qoxlamaq ist\u0259yirdim, yumulu olanda bel\u0259, q\u0259mli g\u00f6zl\u0259rini \u00f6pm\u0259k, dodaqlar\u0131ndan ar\u0131lar kimi \u015fir\u0259 \u00e7\u0259km\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim.<\/p>\n

Amma bilirdim, ona toxunmaq olmaz. Toxunsam, oyadard\u0131m. Aya ba\u011fl\u0131, he\u00e7 k\u0259sin agah olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 qapal\u0131 d\u00fcnyas\u0131ndan dart\u0131b bizim adi oldu\u011fu q\u0259d\u0259r baya\u011f\u0131, baya\u011f\u0131 oldu\u011fu q\u0259d\u0259r adid\u0259n adi d\u00fcnyam\u0131za zorla \u00e7\u0259kib g\u0259tir\u0259rdim onu.<\/p>\n

H\u0259r \u015feyi ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fcm, bu gec\u0259 tama\u015fas\u0131n\u0131n bir anormall\u0131q, az qala x\u0259st\u0259lik oldu\u011funu anlay\u0131rd\u0131m, aram\u0131zdak\u0131 ya\u015f f\u0259rqinin f\u0259rqind\u0259ydim, real al\u0259md\u0259 h\u0259r hans\u0131 bir sevgi ili\u015fgimizin m\u00fcmk\u00fcns\u00fczl\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc d\u0259rk edirdim. Bilirdim ki, sabah s\u0259h\u0259r, i\u015fdi, t\u0259sad\u00fcf\u0259n h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259 rastla\u015fsaq, Ay q\u0131z\u0131 bu gec\u0259ni n\u0259inki xat\u0131rlamayacaq, onun ger\u00e7\u0259kd\u0259 oldu\u011funu a\u011fl\u0131na bel\u0259 s\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fd\u0131rmayacaqd\u0131. M\u0259n\u0259 bax\u0131b xo\u015f, amma \u00f6gey, bigan\u0259 v\u0259 yaban\u00e7\u0131 t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcml\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi.<\/p>\n

Oyada bil\u0259rdim onu. Burda ota\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 fiziki t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259 yoxdu, y\u0131x\u0131laca\u011f\u0131ndan qorxmurdum. Amma oyansa hans\u0131 hissl\u0259ri ke\u00e7ir\u0259c\u0259kdi, m\u0259n\u0259 hans\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259 baxacaqd\u0131. Onun b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 x\u0259st\u0259lik say\u0131lacaq bu hal\u0131n\u0131n \u015fahidi olmu\u015f insan\u0131 bir daha he\u00e7 vaxt, he\u00e7 yerd\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259m\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi, y\u0259qin. Onu oyatmaq, bu \u0259srar\u0259ngiz yuxusundan ay\u0131ltmaq g\u00fcnahd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Bu g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259mi\u015f, inan\u0131lmaz Ay r\u0259qsini seyr etdikc\u0259 seyr etm\u0259k… sonsuzacan seyr etm\u0259k… ka\u015f he\u00e7 vaxt bitib t\u00fck\u0259nm\u0259sin, ma\u015f\u0131n d\u0259niz\u0259 \u00e7atmas\u0131n, buludlar Ay\u0131n qaba\u011f\u0131n\u0131 tutmas\u0131n, Aydan oyan\u0131b h\u0259yat\u0131n reall\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan utanmas\u0131n.<\/p>\n

Pi\u015fik d\u0259 divan\u0131n bir k\u00fcnc\u00fcnd\u0259 q\u0131vr\u0131l\u0131b uzanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. El\u0259 bil o da bu r\u0259qsi seyr edir, m\u0259nim e\u015fitdiyim x\u0259yali musiqini o da dinl\u0259yirdi.<\/p>\n

Musiqi qa\u00e7\u0131lmaz bir lab\u00fcdl\u00fckl\u0259 sona do\u011fru gedirdi… H\u0259r g\u00f6z\u0259l \u015feyin ax\u0131r\u0131 oldu\u011fu kimi, \u0259fsus, bu r\u0259qs d\u0259 bitm\u0259liydi… bitirdi… Aydan qollar\u0131n\u0131 havada qu\u015f kimi yell\u0259d\u0259r\u0259k, yaral\u0131 durna t\u0259kin \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131na-\u00e7\u0131rp\u0131na otaqdan eyvana \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131, karnizl\u0259 – dar-dar – \u00f6z m\u0259nzill\u0259rin\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f getdi. Pi\u015fik d\u0259 onun ard\u0131nca otaqdan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b \u00f6z eyvanlar\u0131na t\u0259r\u0259f gedirdi.<\/p>\n

Musiqi daha s\u0259sl\u0259nmirdi.<\/p>\n

\n

ON ALTINCI F\u018fS\u0130L<\/p>\n

\n

\u015eE\u015e S\u018f, \u00c7AHAR D\u00dc, P\u018fNC QO\u015eA<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cM\u00fctl\u0259q \u015f\u0259r yoxdur. Pislik d\u0259 \u015f\u0259rti anlay\u0131\u015fd\u0131r. Birisiy\u00e7\u00fcn ayaq olan, ba\u015fqas\u0131y\u00e7\u00fcn qandal ola bil\u0259r. Z\u0259h\u0259r ilan\u00e7\u00fcn h\u0259yatd\u0131r, insan\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6l\u00fcm. Bal\u0131qlar\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259niz ya\u015famaq m\u00fchitidir, yer \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259 \u00f6m\u00fcr s\u00fcr\u0259nl\u0259r\u00e7\u00fcn bo\u011fulub batmaq girdab\u0131… \u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0C\u018fLAL\u018fDD\u0130N RUM\u0130<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cQ\u0259dim v\u0259 d\u0259qiq qanunlardan imtina ed\u0259n insan n\u0259yin Xeyir, n\u0259yin \u015e\u0259r oldu\u011funu art\u0131q yaln\u0131z \u00f6z\u00fc m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259nl\u0259\u015fdirm\u0259lidir\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0F. M. DOSTOYEVSK\u0130, \u00abKaramazov qarda\u015fl\u0131r\u0131\u00bb, \u00abB\u00f6y\u00fck inkvizitor\u00bb f\u0259slind\u0259n<\/p>\n

\n

8 -ci mikroraynda soldan \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc d\u00f6ng\u0259d\u0259 20 n\u00f6mr\u0259li evin d\u0259mir darvazas\u0131 qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda durmu\u015fdum. Z\u0259ngi basd\u0131m, darvaza a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131 v\u0259 m\u0259ni qar\u015f\u0131dak\u0131 ev\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f apard\u0131lar. Geni\u015f h\u0259y\u0259tin h\u0259r iki t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259 xarici ma\u015f\u0131nlar d\u00fcz\u00fclm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. M\u0259ni ikinci m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259y\u0259 \u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcl\u0259r. Geni\u015f salona daxil oldum. \u0130ki ki\u015fi – biri \u00e7ox qoca, biri nisb\u0259t\u0259n cavan – n\u0259rd oynay\u0131rd\u0131lar. He\u00e7 birini tan\u0131m\u0131rd\u0131m. N\u0259rd atanlardan biri – a\u011f k\u00f6yn\u0259kli, lampasl\u0131 \u015falvarl\u0131, aya\u011f\u0131nda \u015fap-\u015fuplar olan ki\u015fi aya\u011fa durub \u0259lini uzatd\u0131.<\/p>\n

-Polkovnik Qas\u0131m \u015eeydayev, – dedi.<\/p>\n

Bura onun evi idi v\u0259 m\u0259ni bura o d\u0259v\u0259t etmi\u015fdi. N\u0259rd atan ikinci ki\u015fi yerind\u0259n durmadan \u0259lini m\u0259n\u0259 uzatd\u0131. \u00dcz\u00fcn\u00fc m\u0259n\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f \u00e7evir\u0259nd\u0259 sol yana\u011f\u0131nda iri \u00e7ap\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. N\u0259rd oyununa davam edirdil\u0259r. \u00ab\u0130ndic\u0259 Qas\u0131m \u015fe\u015f s\u0259 atacaq\u00bb dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm v\u0259 polkovnik \u015fe\u015f s\u0259 atd\u0131. \u00abBu biri d\u0259 \u00e7ahar d\u00fc atacaq\u00bb. \u00c7ahar d\u00fc atd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Qara paltar\u0131, ba\u015f\u0131na qara \u015fal atm\u0131\u015f qad\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131 qap\u0131dan i\u00e7\u0259ri daxil oldu, \u018flind\u0259 tutdu\u011fu podnosda \u00fc\u00e7 stakan \u00e7ay vard\u0131. \u00c7aylar\u0131 qar\u015f\u0131m\u0131za qoyub dinm\u0259z -s\u00f6yl\u0259m\u0259z \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b getdi.<\/p>\n

Qas\u0131m oyunda\u015f\u0131na:<\/p>\n

-Bir p\u0259nc qo\u015fa atsaz, marsam, – dedi.<\/p>\n

\u00abP\u0259nc qo\u015fa atacaq\u00bb – dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Z\u0259rl\u0259ri atd\u0131: p\u0259nc qo\u015fa.<\/p>\n

Qas\u0131m:<\/p>\n

– \u00c7ay\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 soyutmay\u0131n, – dedi, – indi g\u0259lir\u0259m.<\/p>\n

Otaqdan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u00c7ap\u0131q d\u0259rhal m\u0259tl\u0259b\u0259 ke\u00e7di:<\/p>\n

-Sizi m\u0259n \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rm\u0131\u015fam, – dedi. – Polkovnik\u0259 dedim ki, sizi d\u0259v\u0259t etsin. G\u0259r\u0259k ki, tan\u0131\u015fs\u0131n\u0131z…<\/p>\n

-Yox, ilk d\u0259f\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m onu.<\/p>\n

-Amma m\u0259n\u0259 demi\u015fdil\u0259r ki, ha\u00e7ansa qon\u015fu olmusunuz.<\/p>\n

Bir \u015fey dem\u0259d\u0259n ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 bulad\u0131m.<\/p>\n

– D\u0259xli yoxdur, – dedi, – sizinl\u0259 bir m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259d\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m. H\u00fcs\u00fc Qafarzad\u0259ni tan\u0131y\u0131rs\u0131z…<\/p>\n

-Tan\u0131y\u0131ram, – dedim, – g\u00f6rk\u0259mli aliml\u0259rimizd\u0259ndir.<\/p>\n

-B\u0259li. H\u0259m d\u0259 q\u0259dim, \u00e7ox qiym\u0259tli v\u0259 sirli nax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 olan bir xal\u0131n\u0131n sahibidir.<\/p>\n

-Bunu bilmirdim.<\/p>\n

-Amma m\u0259n\u0259 m\u0259lumat vermi\u015fdil\u0259r ki, sizin bilm\u0259diyiniz \u015fey yoxdur.<\/p>\n

– \u00c7ox \u015fi\u015firdirmi\u015fl\u0259r bunu siz\u0259 dey\u0259nl\u0259r.<\/p>\n

-N\u0259 is\u0259… H\u0259r halda, Qafarzad\u0259nin q\u0259dir-qiym\u0259tini siz d\u0259 bilirsiniz. Odur ki, t\u0259klifimi ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u0259c\u0259ksiniz. Qafarzad\u0259ni qorumal\u0131y\u0131q.<\/p>\n

– Qorumaly\u0131q\u0131q? Kimd\u0259n? N\u0259d\u0259n?<\/p>\n

-Yaman g\u00f6zd\u0259n. B\u0259li, t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb qalmay\u0131n. Qafarzad\u0259nin ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7ox b\u00f6y\u00fck t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259 al\u0131b. S\u00f6zl\u0259rim siz\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k, amma bu, t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf ki, h\u0259qiq\u0259tdir. Qafarzad\u0259y\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 okkult q\u00fcvv\u0259l\u0259r i\u015f\u0259 sal\u0131n\u0131b.<\/p>\n

-Okkult q\u00fcvv\u0259l\u0259r?<\/p>\n

-B\u0259li. T\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf ki, bizim ham\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n, materialist t\u0259rbiy\u0259siyl\u0259 yeti\u015f\u0259n insanlar\u0131n indiy\u0259c\u0259n ciddiy\u0259 almad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z v\u0259 saya salmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bel\u0259 q\u00fcvv\u0259l\u0259r d\u0259 var, \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 yet\u0259rinc\u0259 g\u00fccl\u00fcd\u00fcrl\u0259r. Alimin ba\u015f\u0131 d\u0259rdd\u0259dir. Ham\u0131s\u0131 da bu xal\u0131n\u0131n ucbat\u0131ndan<\/p>\n

-Xal\u00e7an\u0131 o\u011furlamaq ist\u0259yirl\u0259r?<\/p>\n

-O\u011furlamaq ist\u0259s\u0259ydil\u0259r d\u0259rd yar\u0131yd\u0131. Daha d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tli \u015feyl\u0259r d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrl\u0259r.<\/p>\n

-N\u0259 kimi?<\/p>\n

-Ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n, bunu siz\u0259 dey\u0259 bilm\u0259r\u0259m.<\/p>\n

-Yax\u015f\u0131, m\u0259nd\u0259n n\u0259 ist\u0259yirsiz?<\/p>\n

– Sizin cadunu, g\u00f6z d\u0259ym\u0259ni xurafat v\u0259 bo\u015f \u015fey kimi deyil, ciddi problem kimi d\u0259y\u0259rl\u0259ndirdiyinizi bilirik. El\u0259 deyilmi?<\/p>\n

-M\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n m\u0259nada.<\/p>\n

-Olsun. Bu sah\u0259d\u0259 ill\u0259rdi ara\u015fd\u0131rmalar apar\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z. Bu bar\u0259d\u0259 d\u0259 m\u0259lumat\u0131m kifay\u0259t q\u0259d\u0259rdir. Onu da bilirik ki, qeyri-adi suqqestiya qabiliyy\u0259tiniz var.<\/p>\n

\u00ab\u0130lahi, bu adam suqqestiya – fikir t\u0259lqin etm\u0259k, t\u0259hrik etm\u0259k anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 da bilir\u00bb, – dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n

Fikrimi oxuyubmu\u015f kimi:<\/p>\n

-B\u0259li, pe\u015f\u0259mizl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259l\u0259ri d\u0259 bilm\u0259liyik, – dedi. B\u0259lk\u0259, onun \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn d\u0259 deyilm\u0259mi\u015f fikirl\u0259ri oxumaq qabiliyy\u0259ti var.<\/p>\n

-H\u0259r halda, m\u0259nd\u0259n n\u0259 ist\u0259diyiniz ayd\u0131n deyil m\u0259n\u0259.<\/p>\n

– Yen\u0259 t\u0259krar edir\u0259m, t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259 \u00e7ox b\u00f6y\u00fckd\u00fcr. Qafarzad\u0259ni yaman g\u00f6zd\u0259n yaln\u0131z siz qoruya bil\u0259rsiniz. Siz v\u0259 sizd\u0259n ba\u015fqa he\u00e7 kim. – Sonra az qala \u0259mr tonunda \u0259lav\u0259 etdi: – Bu sizin v\u0259t\u0259n, xalq v\u0259 m\u00fcst\u0259qil d\u00f6vl\u0259timiz qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda borcunuzdur.<\/p>\n

Qas\u0131m salona daxil oldu:<\/p>\n

-\u00c7ay\u0131n\u0131z soyudu, t\u0259z\u0259l\u0259y\u0259k?<\/p>\n

\n

ON YEDD\u0130NC\u0130 F\u018fS\u0130L<\/p>\n

\n

G\u00d6Z – G\u00d6Z\u018f<\/p>\n

\n

\u201c\u0130nsan azad olandan sonra onun daimi v\u0259 \u0259n \u0259zabl\u0131 qay\u011f\u0131s\u0131 kim\u0259 ita\u0259t ed\u0259c\u0259yi m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259sidir. \u0130nsana h\u00f6km\u0259n tap\u0131nmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn avtoritet, m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259 v\u0259 sirr g\u0259r\u0259kdir ki, h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rini, davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 onlar\u0131n irad\u0259siyl\u0259 y\u00f6n\u0259ltsin. Odur ki, insan v\u0259 insan c\u0259miyy\u0259ti azad olma\u011fa nifr\u0259t etdiyi kimi he\u00e7 vaxt, he\u00e7 n\u0259y\u0259 nifr\u0259t etmir. \u0130nsana azadl\u0131q yox, \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k laz\u0131md\u0131r. N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r ki insan azadd\u0131r, he\u00e7 bir elm onun \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k ehtiyac\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6d\u0259m\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k. Ax\u0131r\u0131 onunla qurtaracaq ki, \u00f6z azadl\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 Sizin ayaqlar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n alt\u0131na at\u0131b dey\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r: \u201cbizi qul edin, amma, \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k verin, qarn\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 doydurun\u201d.<\/p>\n

F. M. DOSTOYEVSK\u0130. \u00abB\u00f6y\u00fck inkvizitor\u00bb f\u0259slind\u0259 \u0130van Karamazovun fikirl\u0259rind\u0259n<\/p>\n

\n

\u201c\u0130blis n\u0259dir? -C\u00fcml\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259tl\u0259r\u0259 bais…<\/p>\n

Ya h\u0259r k\u0259s\u0259 xain olan insan n\u0259dir? – \u0130blis!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0H\u00dcSEYN CAV\u0130D. \u00ab\u0130blis\u00bb<\/p>\n

\n

3.4.6. d\u00fcym\u0259l\u0259rini bas\u0131b m\u0259nzilinin qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131m. Otaq ala-qaranl\u0131q idi. Otaqda kimins\u0259 oldu\u011funu duydum. \u0130\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 yand\u0131rd\u0131m.<\/p>\n

El\u0259 bel\u0259c\u0259 d\u0259 bilirdim. Masas\u0131n\u0131n arxas\u0131nda \u018fhliman oturmu\u015fdu. Uzun zaman bir-birimiz\u0259 baxd\u0131q. \u0130lk d\u0259f\u0259ydi ki, g\u00f6z-g\u00f6z\u0259 durmu\u015fduq.<\/p>\n

G\u0259li\u015finin m\u0259nas\u0131n\u0131 da bilirdim. S\u00f6z\u0259, izaha ehtiyac yoxdu. Odur ki d\u0259rhal:<\/p>\n

-Bunu etm\u0259, – dedim.<\/p>\n

O da h\u0259r \u015feyi bilirdi, izahs\u0131z-flans\u0131z:<\/p>\n

-M\u0259n\u0259 mane olma, – dedi.<\/p>\n

Bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t ikimiz d\u0259 susduq. Sonra \u018fhliman soru\u015fdu:<\/p>\n

– O xal\u00e7an\u0131n tarixini bilirs\u0259n?<\/p>\n

-Bilir\u0259m, – dedim. – Amerikada \u00e7\u0131xan kitab\u0131 oxumu\u015fam.<\/p>\n

-Onda bilm\u0259lis\u0259n ki, bu xal\u00e7a insanlara n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r b\u0259lalar g\u0259tirib. Xa\u00e7 y\u00fcr\u00fc\u015fl\u0259rind\u0259 s\u0259lib\u00e7il\u0259r onu Ba\u011fdaddan Bizansa g\u0259tiribl\u0259r. Bizans imperatri\u00e7as\u0131 xal\u00e7an\u0131n, v\u0259 dem\u0259li, hakimiyy\u0259tin o\u011fluna ke\u00e7\u0259c\u0259yind\u0259n t\u0259\u015fvi\u015f\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb, \u00f6z o\u011flunun – \u00f6z do\u011fmaca o\u011flunun ha, \u0259l-qolunu ba\u011flatd\u0131r\u0131b, diri-diri \u0259fi ilanla birlikd\u0259 torbaya sal\u0131b v\u0259 torban\u0131 d\u0259niz\u0259 atd\u0131r\u0131b. Bunu da bilirdin?<\/p>\n

-Bilirdim.<\/p>\n

-\u0130stanbulun f\u0259thind\u0259n sonra xal\u00e7an\u0131 sarayda hakimiyy\u0259t r\u0259mzi kimi qoruyurmu\u015flar v\u0259 xal\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 \u0259dav\u0259t d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259sin dey\u0259, sultanlar t\u0259k bir o\u011fullar\u0131n\u0131 saxlay\u0131b ba\u015fqalar\u0131n\u0131n el\u0259 k\u00f6rp\u0259yk\u0259n ba\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 k\u0259sdirirmi\u015fl\u0259r. Bunu da bilirdin?<\/p>\n

-B\u0259li.<\/p>\n

– \u00c7ald\u0131ran d\u00f6y\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u0259 Sultan S\u0259limin h\u0259r\u0259mba\u015f\u0131 Xac\u0259 Minas sultana x\u0259yan\u0259t edib, xal\u0131n\u0131 da g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb q\u0131z\u0131lba\u015flar\u0131n t\u0259r\u0259fin\u0259 ke\u00e7ib. Bundan x\u0259b\u0259rin var?<\/p>\n

-Var.<\/p>\n

-\u015eah \u0130smay\u0131l onun boynunu vurdurur ki, bir d\u0259f\u0259 x\u0259yan\u0259t ed\u0259n bir d\u0259 ed\u0259r.<\/p>\n

S\u0259f\u0259vil\u0259rd\u0259n \u018ff\u015farlara, \u018ff\u015farlardan Qacarlara ke\u00e7\u0259n bu xal\u0131ya vaxtil\u0259 \u0130randa P\u0259nah xan\u0131n c\u0259naz\u0259sini b\u00fck\u00fcb \u015eu\u015fa qalas\u0131na g\u00f6nd\u0259rirl\u0259r. P\u0259nah xana bihu\u015fdar\u0131 verib yuxulad\u0131blarm\u0131\u015f ki, v\u0259t\u0259nd\u0259 ay\u0131ls\u0131n, amma t\u0259bib onu meyit bilib yar\u0131b. Xal\u0131n\u0131n sirrini bil\u0259n Xac\u0259 \u015eah \u015eu\u015fan\u0131 z\u0259bt ed\u0259rk\u0259n Vaqifin ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 bu xal\u00e7an\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 k\u0259sm\u0259k niyy\u0259tind\u0259ymi\u015f. Molla P\u0259nah r\u0259ml at\u0131b qurtulaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilib, n\u0259 yollasa S\u0259f\u0259ral\u0131ya ismar\u0131\u015f \u00e7atd\u0131r\u0131r ki, qorxmas\u0131nlar, A\u011fa M\u0259h\u0259mm\u0259din i\u015fini el\u0259 bu gec\u0259yn\u0259n bitirsinl\u0259r. Ulduzlar bu niyy\u0259tin ba\u015f tutaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 v\u0259d edib. Sonra n\u0259 ba\u015f verdiyini bilirs\u0259n. Qacar\u0131n q\u0259tlind\u0259n sonra \u0130brahim xan ail\u0259siyl\u0259 qalaya qay\u0131d\u0131r. Vaqifin d\u0259 aqib\u0259tini bilirs\u0259n, \u0130brahim xanla ail\u0259sinin d\u0259…<\/p>\n

-B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259 niy\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rsan?<\/p>\n

-G\u00f6zl\u0259, dey\u0259c\u0259m. Mayor Lisanevi\u00e7 \u0130brahim xan\u0131 ail\u0259siyl\u0259 birlikd\u0259 m\u0259m\u0259 yey\u0259nd\u0259n p\u0259p\u0259 dey\u0259n\u0259c\u0259n q\u0131r\u0131r, amma xal\u0131 ona da qism\u0259t olmur, onu bir yasavul \u0259l\u0259 ke\u00e7irir. O yasavul bililrs\u0259n kimdi?<\/p>\n

– Yox, bilmir\u0259m.<\/p>\n

-General Sisyanovun yav\u0259ri. Bak\u0131 qap\u0131lar\u0131 \u00f6n\u00fcnd\u0259 Sisyanov \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcl\u0259nd\u0259 o yav\u0259rinin d\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 k\u0259sibl\u0259r. Xal\u0131n\u0131 Sisyanovun k\u0259silmi\u015f ba\u015f\u0131yla bir yerd\u0259 \u015eah\u0259n\u015faha b\u0259x\u015fi\u015f g\u00f6nd\u0259rirl\u0259r. M\u0259\u015frut\u0259 inqilab\u0131 zaman\u0131 xal\u0131 yoxa \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r, sonra onu T\u0259briz bazar\u0131nda bir Bak\u0131 milyon\u00e7usu al\u0131r. XI ordu Bak\u0131ya soxulanda bir cavan \u00e7ekist h\u0259min o milyon\u00e7unu \u00f6z \u0259liyl\u0259 g\u00fcll\u0259l\u0259yir, xal\u0131n\u0131 da apar\u0131r. O \u00e7ekist bilirs\u0259n kimdi?<\/p>\n

-Bilir\u0259m, Qafarzad\u0259nin atas\u0131.<\/p>\n

-B\u0259li, indi dedikl\u0259rimi ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcn?<\/p>\n

-Yox, ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259dim.<\/p>\n

-\u018fsrl\u0259r boyu \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 y\u00fczl\u0259rl\u0259, minl\u0259rl\u0259 insan\u0131n qan\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015f bu xal\u00e7a m\u0259hv edilm\u0259lidir. Sahibiyl\u0259 bir yerd\u0259. Ya sahibsiz. Bir el\u0259 f\u0259rqi yoxdur.<\/p>\n

-Nec\u0259 y\u0259ni f\u0259rqi yoxdur? Xal\u00e7a xal\u00e7ad\u0131r, insan insan…<\/p>\n

-M\u0259nfur insan, c\u0259llad atan\u0131n o\u011flu. \u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259 atas\u0131n\u0131n tay\u0131d\u0131. Ham\u0131ya ancaq pislik ed\u0259n riyakar m\u0259rd\u00fcm\u0259zar.<\/p>\n

-Kim\u0259 pislik edib ki?<\/p>\n

-El\u0259, tutaq m\u0259n\u0259.<\/p>\n

-Aha, dem\u0259li, \u0259r\u015fd\u0259n – k\u00fcr\u015fd\u0259n dan\u0131\u015f\u0131b , tarixi, al\u0259mi bir -birin\u0259 qat\u0131b \u00f6z qisas\u0131n\u0131 almaq ist\u0259yirs\u0259n ondan.<\/p>\n

-Kefin ist\u0259yir el\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn, amma m\u0259n bu fikird\u0259y\u0259m ki, \u0259srd\u0259n \u0259sr\u0259 ke\u00e7\u0259n bu cinay\u0259tl\u0259rin k\u00f6k\u00fc k\u0259silm\u0259lidir v\u0259 bu cinay\u0259tl\u0259rin r\u0259mzi olan xal\u0131 m\u0259hv edilm\u0259lidir. V\u0259 \u0259g\u0259r xal\u0131n\u0131n sahibi inad ed\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259, onun \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc da yox etm\u0259k laz\u0131md\u0131r, \u00e7\u00fcnki o da cinay\u0259t orta\u011f\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n

-Qan\u0131 qanla yumazlar. Cinay\u0259ti cin\u0259y\u0259tl\u0259 d\u0259f etm\u0259k olmaz. Kim\u0259s\u0259 pislik edirs\u0259ns\u0259 ,o, bu pisliyi he\u00e7 vaxt ba\u011f\u0131\u015flam\u0131r, f\u00fcrs\u0259t g\u00fcd\u00fcr ki, \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 pisliy\u0259 pislikl\u0259 cavab versin. Bu yolla \u015f\u0259r z\u0259ncirin\u0131 q\u0131rmaq olmur.<\/p>\n

-B\u0259s \u015f\u0259rin, z\u00fclm\u00fcn, haqs\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n k\u00f6k\u00fcn\u00fc n\u0259yl\u0259 k\u0259sm\u0259k olar?<\/p>\n

-Ancaq m\u0259rh\u0259m\u0259tl\u0259, ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamaqla, pisliyi unutmaqla.<\/p>\n

-Y\u0259ni H\u0259zr\u0259t \u0130san\u0131n \u0259xlaq\u0131 – sa\u011f yana\u011f\u0131na \u015fill\u0259 vururlarsa, sol yana\u011f\u0131n\u0131 uzat. Yox, \u018fhdi C\u0259didin deyil, \u018fhdi \u018ftiqin t\u0259limi \u00fcr\u0259yimc\u0259di: G\u00f6z\u0259 g\u00f6z, di\u015f\u0259 di\u015f… M\u0259n…<\/p>\n

– Dayan, toxta bir, s\u0259n\u0259 m\u00fcdrik bir r\u0259vay\u0259t dan\u0131\u015f\u0131m. Qon\u015fusundan daima pislik g\u00f6r\u0259n birisi \u00f6vliyan\u0131n yan\u0131na g\u0259lir, \u0259hvalat\u0131 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r, ondan m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t ist\u0259yir. \u00d6vliya: – Get, h\u0259min qon\u015funa bir yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131q el\u0259, – deyir. \u00d6vliyan\u0131n s\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xa bilm\u0259y\u0259n adam bel\u0259 d\u0259 edir. Bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t sonra qon\u015fusunun yeni bir m\u0259rd\u00fcm\u0259zarl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla \u00fczl\u0259\u015fir. Yen\u0259 d\u0259 \u00f6vliyan\u0131n yan\u0131na g\u0259lir v\u0259 eyni m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259ti al\u0131r. Bu bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 t\u0259krar olunur. N\u0259hay\u0259t, bundan can\u0131 bo\u011faz\u0131na y\u0131\u011f\u0131lan adam \u00f6vliyan\u0131n yan\u0131na g\u0259lib deyir: -M\u0259n s\u0259nin m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tl\u0259rinl\u0259 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t etdim, amma qon\u015fum yen\u0259 b\u0259d \u0259m\u0259ll\u0259rind\u0259n qalm\u0131r, ona yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131q etm\u0259kd\u0259n t\u0259ng\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015f\u0259m. \u00d6vliya:<\/p>\n

-Qon\u015fun pislikd\u0259n yorulmay\u0131bsa, s\u0259n niy\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131qdan yorulursan? – cavab\u0131n\u0131 verir. Xalq\u0131m\u0131z da deyir: yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011fa yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131q h\u0259r ki\u015finin i\u015fidi, yamanl\u0131\u011fa yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131q n\u0259r ki\u015finin i\u015fidi.<\/p>\n

-\u00c7\u00fcr\u00fck f\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259di xalq m\u00fcdrikliyi olsa da. \u00c7in m\u00fcdriyinin dediyi daha a\u011flabatand\u0131r:<\/p>\n

-Yamanl\u0131\u011fa yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131qla cavab ver\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259ns\u0259, yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011fa n\u0259yl\u0259 cavab ver\u0259rs\u0259n? Buna n\u0259 deyirs\u0259n?<\/p>\n

-Onu dey\u0259r\u0259m ki, f\u0259rq qoymamal\u0131san. Yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011fa da, yamanl\u0131\u011fa da eyni c\u00fcr yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131qla qar\u015f\u0131l\u0131q verm\u0259lis\u0259n. Yoxsa bel\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xar ki, yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131q ed\u0259nd\u0259 \u0259v\u0259zini g\u00f6zl\u0259yirs\u0259n, dem\u0259li, yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n, bir n\u00f6v, r\u00fc\u015fv\u0259tdir. M\u00f6vlana h\u0259r k\u0259si d\u0259rgah\u0131na \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131r: m\u00fcs\u0259lman\u0131 da, xa\u00e7p\u0259r\u0259sti d\u0259, at\u0259\u015fp\u0259r\u0259sti d\u0259, mus\u0259vini d\u0259. Y\u00fcz d\u0259f\u0259 t\u00f6vb\u0259 ed\u0259ni v\u0259 t\u00f6vb\u0259sini d\u00f6n\u0259 – d\u00f6n\u0259 pozan\u0131 da.<\/p>\n

H\u0259zr\u0259t \u0130sa insanlar\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcnahlar\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6z \u00fcz\u0259rin\u0259 g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi.<\/p>\n

– \u0130nsanlar da onu \u00e7arm\u0131xa \u00e7\u0259kdi.<\/p>\n

Onun s\u00f6zl\u0259rini qulaq ard\u0131na vurdum:<\/p>\n

– Budda deyirdi – qoy d\u00fcnyan\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcnahlar\u0131 m\u0259nim \u00fcst\u00fcmd\u0259 qals\u0131n, t\u0259ki insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n a\u011fr\u0131lar\u0131 v\u0259 d\u0259rdl\u0259ri azals\u0131n. Bizim F\u00fczuli d\u0259 \u00abH\u0259m ver m\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259m \u00e7\u0259km\u0259k \u0259zab\u0131, h\u0259m al\u0259mi eyl\u0259 q\u0259md\u0259n xali\u00bb – deyir.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman:<\/p>\n

-Yax\u015f\u0131, onda s\u00f6yl\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259, he\u00e7 bir g\u00fcnah\u0131 olmayan k\u00f6rp\u0259 n\u0259d\u0259n \u015fik\u0259st do\u011fulur, niy\u0259 kar, kor, a\u011f\u0131ldan may\u0131f g\u0259lir bu d\u00fcnyaya, n\u0259di onun t\u0259qsiri?<\/p>\n

-G\u00fcnah\u0131 \u0259vv\u0259lki h\u0259yat\u0131nda i\u015fl\u0259yib, y\u0259qin.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman q\u0259h-q\u0259h\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kib g\u00fcld\u00fc:<\/p>\n

-Reinkarnasiya, canl\u0131lar\u0131n bir ne\u00e7\u0259 h\u0259yat ya\u015famas\u0131… Hind f\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259sinin \u0259n s\u0259feh m\u00fcdd\u0259as\u0131. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 h\u0259yat s\u00fcrm\u0259k v\u0259 \u0259vv\u0259lki h\u0259yatda etdikl\u0259rinin \u0259v\u0259zinin bu h\u0259yatda qar\u015f\u0131na \u00e7\u0131xmas\u0131. Budu s\u0259nin inand\u0131\u011f\u0131n?<\/p>\n

– B\u0259li. S\u0259n buna inanm\u0131rsan?<\/p>\n

– \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, yox. Birc\u0259cik insan g\u00f6st\u0259r m\u0259n\u0259 ki, guya ha\u00e7ansa \u0259vv\u0259ll\u0259rd\u0259 ba\u015fqa bir h\u0259yat ya\u015fay\u0131b v\u0259 o h\u0259yat\u0131ndan n\u0259 is\u0259 yad\u0131nda qal\u0131b. Madam ki, \u0259vv\u0259lki h\u0259yat\u0131ndan yadda\u015f\u0131nda he\u00e7 n\u0259 qalmay\u0131b, n\u0259 \u00f6n\u0259mi var, ha\u00e7ansa ya\u015fam\u0131san ya yox.<\/p>\n

– O \u00f6n\u0259mi var ki, ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n d\u00f6vr\u00fcn \u0259dal\u0259tsizlikl\u0259rinin v\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 olunan haqs\u0131zl\u0131qlar\u0131n s\u0259b\u0259bini ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrs\u0259n. Karma varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck qanunudur. Karma t\u0259bi\u0259tin v\u0259 b\u0259\u015f\u0259rin b\u00fct\u00fcn yanl\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n b\u0259d\u0259lidir v\u0259 onlar\u0131n bir daha t\u0259krar olunmamas\u0131n\u0131n t\u0259minat\u00e7\u0131s\u0131d\u0131r. \u018fg\u0259r \u00ab\u0259hli – z\u0259rd\u0259 k\u0259r\u0259m yoxdur, k\u0259r\u0259m \u0259hlind\u0259 z\u0259r\u00bb, \u0259g\u0259r \u00abalil\u0259r xaki-m\u0259z\u0259ll\u0259td\u0259, d\u0259nil\u0259r m\u00f6t\u0259b\u0259r\u00bbdirs\u0259, d\u00fcnyada z\u00fclm, har\u0131nl\u0131q h\u00f6km s\u00fcr\u00fcrs\u0259, qolu zorlu m\u0259zlumun haqq\u0131n\u0131 tapday\u0131rsa, g\u00fccl\u00fc, b\u00f6y\u00fck d\u00f6vl\u0259t ki\u00e7ik, z\u0259if olk\u0259nin ba\u015f\u0131na ist\u0259diyi oyunu a\u00e7\u0131rsa, yaln\u0131z v\u0259 yaln\u0131z karma s\u0259n\u0259 bunlar\u0131 anlama\u011fa yard\u0131m edir. H\u0259r bir insan\u0131n ba\u015fqas\u0131na etdiyi pislik, hans\u0131sa ayr\u0131 h\u0259yatda olur-olsun, – b\u00fct\u00fcn insanl\u0131\u011fa qar\u015f\u0131 yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f yamanl\u0131qd\u0131r v\u0259 b\u0259\u015f\u0259riyy\u0259t bunun \u0259v\u0259zini \u00f6d\u0259yir. Birisi g\u00fcnl\u0259rin birind\u0259 bir pi\u015fiyi c\u0131rmaqlay\u0131r. Ev\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcr ki, anas\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259 c\u0131rmaq yeri var. – Bu c\u0131rmaq hardand\u0131?- dey\u0259 soru\u015fanda anas\u0131: – Bu s\u0259nin \u0259m\u0259lindir, – deyir.<\/p>\n

-Dayan, dayan, deyirs\u0259n s\u0259nin bu hindlil\u0259rd\u0259n m\u0259nims\u0259diyin f\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259y\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 h\u0259r bir canl\u0131 d\u00fcnyaya bir ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 g\u0259lir?<\/p>\n

-B\u0259li.<\/p>\n

-M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259n, ke\u00e7\u0259n h\u0259yat\u0131nda s\u0259n – nec\u0259 deyim ki, incim\u0259y\u0259s\u0259n – tutal\u0131m, b\u00fclb\u00fcl ya tut a\u011fac\u0131 olmusan. Tut a\u011fac\u0131n\u0131n ya b\u00fclb\u00fcl\u00fcn kim\u0259 n\u0259 pisliyi ke\u00e7ib ki, bu h\u0259yatda bunun alt\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kirs\u0259n. Susursan, \u00e7\u00fcnki cavab\u0131n yoxdu. Ya ba\u015fqa bir sual. Dey\u0259k ki, ba\u015fqa bir h\u0259yatda el\u0259 insan olmusan. B\u0259s atan, anan o h\u0259yatda da eyni adamlar olub ya ba\u015fqalar\u0131? N\u0259 cavab ver\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n?<\/p>\n

-El\u0259 suallar var ki, onlar sirri-xudad\u0131r, insan beyninin a\u00e7a bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259yi gizlinl\u0259rdir. Bu bar\u0259d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259k bel\u0259, beynimizin imkan\u0131 xaricind\u0259dir, m\u00fcdrikl\u0259rd\u0259n biri deyib: d\u00fcnyan\u0131n sirl\u0259ri qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda sus. S\u00fckut s\u0259hvl\u0259rd\u0259n xilas olmaq dem\u0259kdir.<\/p>\n

-Aha, dem\u0259li, yen\u0259 k\u00f6hn\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259t: \u015f\u0259kkaka l\u0259n\u0259t. El\u0259 kommunist ideologiyas\u0131 da bunun \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 qurulmu\u015fdu. Sual verm\u0259, soru\u015fma, \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259l\u0259nm\u0259, t\u0259r\u0259dd\u00fcd etm\u0259, Sabir demi\u015f: dinm\u0259, dan\u0131\u015fma, \u015f\u00fckr el\u0259, illah da d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259… sad\u0259c\u0259, beynin\u0259 yeridil\u0259nl\u0259r\u0259 inan, v\u0259ssalam – Kommunizm\u0259, H\u0259zr\u0259t \u0130san\u0131n z\u00fchuruna ya Mehdinin g\u0259li\u015fin\u0259 iman g\u0259tir. B\u00fct\u00fcn dinl\u0259rin – f\u0259rql\u0259rini bir yana qoy- mahiyy\u0259ti birdir – insana \u0259n yax\u015f\u0131 halda t\u0259s\u0259lli verm\u0259k. \u0130nsan\u0131 Sonun qaranl\u0131q, s\u0259ssizlik, bo\u015fluq v\u0259 he\u00e7sizlik qorxusundan xilas etm\u0259k, onu aldad\u0131c\u0131 t\u0259skinatla ovutmaq – y\u0259ni bu fani d\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u0259zablar\u0131na d\u00f6z, axir\u0259t d\u00fcnyas\u0131nda s\u0259ni c\u0259nn\u0259tin feyzi g\u00f6zl\u0259yir. Ya da ki, h\u0259d\u0259 – \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc yax\u015f\u0131 apar, yoxsa c\u0259h\u0259nn\u0259md\u0259 yanacaqsan. Ham\u0131s\u0131 da m\u0259hz insan\u0131n z\u0259ifliyin\u0259 hesablan\u0131b. S\u0259nin Karman da, reinkarnasiyan da bu q\u0259bild\u0259ndir.<\/p>\n

Siqaret qutusunu uzatd\u0131:<\/p>\n

– \u00c7\u0259kirs\u0259n?<\/p>\n

– Bilirs\u0259n, \u00e7\u0259k\u0259n deyil\u0259m.<\/p>\n

Siqaretini odlad\u0131, t\u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc l\u0259zz\u0259tl\u0259 ciy\u0259rl\u0259rin\u0259 s\u00fcm\u00fcrd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

-S\u0259n\u0259 bir prit\u00e7a dan\u0131\u015f\u0131m, – dedi. – N\u0259tic\u0259sin\u0259 cavab ver. \u00dc\u00e7 qarda\u015f olub. Biri pak, m\u00fcq\u0259dd\u0259s \u00f6vliya, biri cani, quldur, ba\u015fk\u0259s\u0259n, \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fcs\u00fc lap k\u00f6rp\u0259 ya\u015f\u0131nda \u00f6l\u00fcr. C\u0259nn\u0259t\u0259 – c\u0259h\u0259nn\u0259m\u0259 inansaq, o d\u00fcnyada bunlar\u0131n aqib\u0259ti nec\u0259 olacaq, s\u0259nc\u0259?<\/p>\n

– Do\u011frudan da c\u0259nn\u0259t varsa, \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259siz, m\u00fcq\u0259dd\u0259s c\u0259nn\u0259t\u0259 getm\u0259lidi, c\u0259h\u0259nn\u0259m varsa, cani ora vasil olmal\u0131d\u0131.<\/p>\n

– B\u0259s k\u00f6rp\u0259?<\/p>\n

-K\u00f6pp\u0259 d\u0259, y\u0259qin, ikisinin aras\u0131nda qalar, \u0259r\u0259fd\u0259.<\/p>\n

-Onla bel\u0259 bir sual. K\u00f6rp\u0259 soru\u015fur: niy\u0259 m\u0259n tifilk\u0259n \u00f6ld\u00fcm, niy\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259 bilm\u0259dim. N\u0259 cavab olacaq?<\/p>\n

-S\u0259nin anlay\u0131\u015flar\u0131nla bu k\u00f6rp\u0259, y\u0259qin, b\u00f6y\u00fcyb pis adam olacaqm\u0131\u015f, cani, quldur. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 k\u00f6rp\u0259likd\u0259 \u00f6lm\u0259si m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t bilinib.<\/p>\n

– \u00c7ox \u0259c\u0259b, b\u0259s onda o quldur, cani soru\u015fmazm\u0131, indi ki, m\u0259nim aln\u0131ma canilik, quldurluq yaz\u0131l\u0131bm\u0131\u015f, onda m\u0259n niy\u0259 el\u0259 k\u00f6rp\u0259likd\u0259c\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcb \u0259b\u0259di c\u0259h\u0259nn\u0259m \u0259zab\u0131ndan qurtulmad\u0131m. Cavab\u0131n n\u0259di? G\u00f6rd\u00fcnm\u00fc, dostum, d\u00fcnya m\u0259ntiqsiz d\u00fcnyad\u0131r v\u0259 insan da t\u0259sad\u00fcf\u0259n bu d\u00fcnyaya at\u0131lm\u0131\u015f misgin, zavall\u0131, k\u0259mf\u00fcrs\u0259t, pax\u0131l v\u0259 kinli m\u0259xluqdur.<\/p>\n

– Yox, yox, el\u0259 deyil.<\/p>\n

Amma \u018fhliman\u0131 saxlamaq olmurdu, el\u0259 hey \u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcb t\u00f6k\u00fcrd\u00fc:<\/p>\n

-\u0130nsan n\u0259dir – \u0130blis bel\u0259 olma\u011f\u0131 bacarmayan z\u0259if, g\u00fccs\u00fcz, isdedaddan q\u0131s\u0131r, imkanlardan m\u0259hrum, m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259td\u0259n umsuq, iyr\u0259nc fantaziyalar\u0131nda cinsi \u0259laq\u0259y\u0259 gir\u0259n, xam x\u0259yallar\u0131nda t\u0259k al\u00e7aq yox, guya ki, uca da\u011flar\u0131 da yaratd\u0131\u011f\u0131na \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc inand\u0131rm\u0131\u015f bo\u015f iddial\u0131, riyakar, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fc kimi m\u0259nas\u0131z bir varl\u0131q – budur insan. Pax\u0131l, yalan\u00e7\u0131, b\u00f6htan\u00e7\u0131, kinli, yaltaq… Guya azadl\u0131\u011fa can atan, amma azadl\u0131\u011fa qovu\u015fan kimi \u00f6z azadl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan oddan qorxan kimi qorxan, h\u0259r se\u00e7imini \u00f6zg\u0259l\u0259rin boynuna qoyma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan, daima qullu\u011funda durma\u011fa bir b\u00fct, bir sahib, bir yolg\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259n axtaran aciz v\u0259 misgin m\u0259xluq. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u0259n l\u0259ziz t\u0259amlar\u0131n\u0131 h\u0259zmi – rabed\u0259n ke\u00e7irib n\u0259cis kimi ifraz ed\u0259n murdar… Yer \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fc kimi canl\u0131lara q\u0259nim k\u0259silmi\u015f, ya onlar\u0131 \u00f6z keyfiy\u00e7\u00fcn ovlayan, ya heyvanlar\u0131n, qu\u015flar\u0131n, bal\u0131qlar\u0131n \u0259tini d\u0259 yem\u0259kl\u0259 yetinm\u0259yib, yumurtas\u0131n\u0131, bal\u0131n\u0131, k\u00fcr\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc da qamarlayan qar\u0131nqulu. Bir ovuc d\u0259n, toxum s\u0259pib bir torba yox, on torba, on xaral m\u0259hsul g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u0259k\u00e7\u00fcn torpa\u011f\u0131 kimy\u0259vi g\u00fcbr\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 z\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259y\u0259n, \u00e7irkab ax\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131yla d\u0259nizl\u0259ri kirl\u0259y\u0259n, me\u015f\u0259l\u0259ri q\u0131ran, qazlarla, t\u00fcst\u00fcs\u00fcyl\u0259 havan\u0131 korlayan doyumsuz acg\u00f6z. D\u00fcn\u0259nini unutmu\u015f, sabah\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259y\u0259n, ancaq bug\u00fcn\u00fcyl\u0259 ya\u015fayan beyinsiz… Sartr d\u00fcz deyir ki, c\u0259h\u0259nn\u0259m – ba\u015fqalar\u0131d\u0131r, y\u0259ni \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259n ba\u015fqa b\u00fct\u00fcn qalan adamlard\u0131r c\u0259h\u0259nn\u0259m.<\/p>\n

-Yox, yox, bir d\u0259 yox. \u0130nsan \u0259qid\u0259si yolunda edama ged\u0259n N\u0259simidir. \u00abHac\u0131 Murad\u00bb\u0131 yazan Tolstoydur, Mahatma Handidir, Alber \u015evetsard\u0131r, Tereza anad\u0131r. \u015eagirdl\u0259rini \u00f6l\u00fcm yolunda yalq\u0131z buraxmayan, onlar\u0131n aqib\u0259tini payla\u015fan, onlarla birlikd\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc q\u0259bul ed\u0259n Yanu\u015f Kor\u00e7akd\u0131r. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259l, \u0259n inc\u0259 qad\u0131nlar\u0131d\u0131r, \u0259n c\u0259sur, \u0259n g\u00fccl\u00fc, \u0259n irad\u0259li ki\u015fil\u0259ridir, \u0259n m\u0259sum u\u015faqlar\u0131d\u0131r, \u0259n m\u00fcdrik qocalar\u0131d\u0131r. \u0130nsan Fiz\u00fclidir, Li Bodur, Rafaeldir, Motsartd\u0131r, \u00c7exovdur.<\/p>\n

– Bunlar\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131 s\u0259nin olsun. \u00d6z\u00fcn bildiyin kimi ya\u015fa, ba\u015fqa bir h\u0259yatda ist\u0259dikl\u0259rin\u0259 \u00e7atmaq \u00fcmidiyl\u0259 burdak\u0131 \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fc pu\u00e7 aldan\u0131\u015flarla ba\u015fa vur. Amma m\u0259nim bildiyimi etm\u0259yim\u0259 mane olma. He\u00e7 ist\u0259s\u0259n d\u0259 mane ola bilm\u0259zs\u0259n.<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman ha\u00e7an \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b getmi\u015fdi, duymam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. B\u0259lk\u0259, he\u00e7 g\u0259lm\u0259mi\u015fdi d\u0259… G\u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

Amma otaqda h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 siqaretin vanil qoxusu duyulurdu, k\u00fclqab\u0131nda ne\u00e7\u0259-ne\u00e7\u0259 siqaret k\u00f6t\u00fcy\u00fc qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

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ON S\u018fKK\u0130Z\u0130NC\u0130 F\u018fS\u0130L<\/p>\n

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GEC\u018f TAMA\u015eASI<\/p>\n

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\u201cFilosofluq etm\u0259k – \u00f6l\u00fcm\u0259 haz\u0131r olmaq dem\u0259kdir\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0M\u0130\u015eEL MONTEN<\/p>\n

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\u201c\u0130nsan \u00f6l\u00fcm xofuna yaln\u0131z o zaman qalib g\u0259l\u0259 bil\u0259r ki, ayd\u0131n bir h\u0259qiq\u0259ti d\u0259rk etsin: n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r ki, bu d\u00fcnyada \u0259n az\u0131 bir insan ya\u015fay\u0131r, o, \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131r\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0SVAM\u0130 V\u0130VEKANANDA, hind filosofu<\/p>\n

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\u201cS\u00f6z\u00fcn \u0259sl m\u0259nas\u0131nda yaln\u0131z bir ciddi f\u0259ls\u0259fi problem var – intihar problemi. Ya\u015fama\u011fa d\u0259y\u0259rmi, d\u0259ym\u0259zmi – bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259ni h\u0259ll etm\u0259k f\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259nin t\u0259m\u0259l sual\u0131na cavab verm\u0259kdir\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u00a0ALBER KAMYU, frans\u0131z yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 v\u0259 filosofu. \u00abSizif mifi\u00bb<\/p>\n

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X\u0259b\u0259r: D\u00fcn\u0259n gec\u0259 m\u0259\u015fhur alim H\u00fcs\u00fc Z\u0259lim o\u011flu Qafarzad\u0259nin m\u0259nzilind\u0259 elektrik naqill\u0259rinin qovu\u015fmas\u0131 n\u0259tic\u0259sind\u0259 yan\u011f\u0131n t\u00f6r\u0259nmi\u015fdir. Yan\u011f\u0131nda m\u0259nzilin b\u00fct\u00fcn avadanl\u0131\u011f\u0131, o c\u00fcml\u0259d\u0259n \u00e7ox bahal\u0131 q\u0259dim xal\u00e7a yan\u0131b k\u00fcl olmu\u015fdur. Ciddi x\u0259sar\u0259t alm\u0131\u015f alim haz\u0131rda reanimasiyadad\u0131r. H\u0259kiml\u0259r onun ya\u015famas\u0131 u\u011frunda \u0259ll\u0259\u015firl\u0259r.<\/p>\n

Gec\u0259 d\u00f6rd\u00fcn yar\u0131s\u0131nda telefonum s\u0259sl\u0259ndi. Gec\u0259 z\u0259ngl\u0259rind\u0259n h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 eym\u0259nmi\u015f\u0259m. Nam\u0259lum bir s\u0259s e\u015fitdim:<\/p>\n

-Tez geyinib h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn.<\/p>\n

Kim idi bu \u0259mri ver\u0259n, niy\u0259 v\u0259 hara \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131 m\u0259ni, m\u0259n niy\u0259 m\u00fctic\u0259sin\u0259 bu g\u00f6st\u0259ri\u015f\u0259 \u0259m\u0259l edirdim? T\u0259l\u0259sik geyinib kecinib h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm. D\u00fcz qap\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 limuzin dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Qaranl\u0131qda s\u00fckan arxas\u0131nda \u0259yl\u0259\u015fmi\u015f adam\u0131n sif\u0259tini g\u00f6r\u0259 bilm\u0259dim, amma ma\u015f\u0131n h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xark\u0259n b\u0259dirl\u0259nmi\u015f Ay\u0131n i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131nda yana\u011f\u0131nda iri \u00e7ap\u0131\u011f\u0131 sezdim.<\/p>\n

N\u0259 o dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131, n\u0259 m\u0259n. Hara, niy\u0259 gedirdik – dey\u0259 sual da ver\u0259 bilmirdim. El\u0259 bil dilim tutulmu\u015fdu. Ma\u015f\u0131n yatm\u0131\u015f, susmu\u015f, ancaq vahim\u0259li, soyuq ay i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131yla k\u00f6lg\u0259l\u0259n\u0259n k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n ke\u00e7ib \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Yegan\u0259 h\u0259yat \u0259lam\u0259ti kimi tin ba\u015f\u0131nda s\u00f6n\u00fcb yanan i\u015f\u0131qforlar\u0131n q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131, sar\u0131, ya\u015f\u0131l i\u015f\u0131qlar\u0131 g\u00f6z vururdu.<\/p>\n

Ma\u015fta\u011fa yoluyla gedirdik. Buzovnadan, M\u0259rd\u0259kandan ke\u00e7dik, \u015e\u00fcv\u0259lan\u0131n \u0259sas magistral\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b ba\u011flar\u0131n aras\u0131yla torpaq yollarla b\u00f6y\u00fck binan\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131\u0131na g\u0259ldik. Sovet d\u00f6n\u0259minin M\u0259d\u0259niyy\u0259t saraylar\u0131n\u0131 and\u0131ran binayd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ma\u015f\u0131ndan endik. Klubun – \u0259g\u0259r bura klub idis\u0259 – i\u00e7in\u0259 ke\u00e7dik. Qol saat\u0131mda 4-\u0259 be\u015f d\u0259qiq\u0259 qal\u0131rdi. Salon m\u0259\u015fum b\u0259n\u00f6v\u015feyi \u00e7\u0131raqlarla i\u015f\u0131qland\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u00d6n s\u0131ralarda adamlar \u0259yl\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdi. Arxa s\u0131ralar bo\u015fdu. Gec\u0259 saat d\u00f6rdd\u0259 n\u0259 tama\u015fayd\u0131 bu, kimdi bu saatda bura topla\u015fanlar?<\/p>\n

M\u0259n d\u0259 ke\u00e7ib qabaq s\u0131ralar\u0131n birind\u0259 oturdum. Tama\u015fa\u00e7\u0131lar h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tsizdi. G\u00f6zl\u0259rini s\u0259hn\u0259d\u0259 bir n\u00f6qt\u0259y\u0259 zill\u0259yib susmu\u015fdular. Bir-bir sif\u0259tl\u0259rin\u0259 baxma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m v\u0259 bird\u0259n-bir\u0259 anlad\u0131m ki, \u00e7oxusunu tan\u0131y\u0131ram. Yan\u0131mdan bir az aral\u0131 doqquz-on ya\u015f\u0131nda bir u\u015faq oturmu\u015fdu, ona baxd\u0131m v\u0259 \u0259tim biz-biz oldu – bu h\u0259min o x\u0259z paltolu qon\u015fum idi. Tama\u015fa\u00e7\u0131lar\u0131 bir-bir yad\u0131ma sal\u0131rd\u0131m: dostum M\u00f6hsun, day\u0131s\u0131 M\u0259d\u0259t ki\u015fi, R\u00fcbab\u0259, Zakir… Elmi \u015furan\u0131n \u00fczvl\u0259ri. H\u00fcs\u00fc Qafarzad\u0259. Aman Allah – atam… anam… Onlar da m\u0259n\u0259 yox, s\u0259hn\u0259y\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131lar.<\/p>\n

M\u0259ni d\u0259h\u015f\u0259t bas\u0131rd\u0131, bura topla\u015fanlar ha\u00e7ansa – m\u00fcxt\u0259lif vaxtlarda – d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fmi\u015f insanlar idi. \u00abD\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fm\u0259k\u00bb ifad\u0259sinin gizli v\u0259 h\u0259qiqi m\u0259nas\u0131n\u0131 vahim\u0259 i\u00e7ind\u0259 anlama\u011fa ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Bird\u0259n ham\u0131s\u0131 \u0259l \u00e7alma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131. S\u0259s \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131rd\u0131, amma h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tl\u0259rind\u0259n b\u0259lliydi ki, g\u00f6zl\u0259rini s\u0259hn\u0259y\u0259 zill\u0259yib kimis\u0259 alq\u0131\u015flay\u0131rlar. S\u0259hn\u0259nin q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 p\u0259rd\u0259si aramla aralan\u0131rd\u0131. Tam a\u00e7\u0131landan sonra s\u0259hn\u0259y\u0259 r\u0259qs el\u0259y\u0259-el\u0259y\u0259 Aydan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. \u00dcr\u0259yim d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, onun burda, \u00f6l\u00fcl\u0259rin i\u00e7ind\u0259 n\u0259 i\u015fi vard\u0131?!<\/p>\n

Qad\u0131n q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131na ay\u0131ld\u0131m, yata\u011f\u0131mdan s\u0131\u00e7ray\u0131b eyvana yana\u015fd\u0131m. S\u0259h\u0259rin alatoranl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259 Aydan\u0131n c\u0259s\u0259di s\u0259r\u0259l\u0259nmi\u015fdi. Q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131b \u00fcz-g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc y\u0131rtan da anas\u0131 idi.<\/p>\n

Arxaya \u00e7evrildim. Divardaki iri g\u00f6z muncu\u011fu t\u0259n ortadan \u00e7atlay\u0131b paralanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, yar\u0131s\u0131 divarda qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, yar\u0131s\u0131 yer\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb \u00e7ilik-\u00e7ilik olmu\u015fdu.<\/p>\n

Yer\u0259 t\u00f6k\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f g\u00f6z muncu\u011fu par\u00e7alar\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda \u018fhliman dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n

-N\u0259d\u0259n bunu etdin? – dedim, – o q\u0131z\u0131n t\u0259qsiri n\u0259ydi?<\/p>\n

\u018fhliman:<\/p>\n

-Bunu s\u0259n etdin, – dedi, – s\u0259n \u00f6ld\u00fcrd\u00fcn onu… Ota\u011f\u0131na yen\u0259 d\u0259 yuxulu g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. Getm\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 s\u0259n d\u0259 yuxulu-yuxulu ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131n:amand\u0131, getm\u0259. O, art\u0131q karnizin \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259ydi, q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131\u011fa oyand\u0131 v\u0259 el\u0259 o andaca h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 u\u00e7du. Yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131 yaz\u0131q \u0259ziyy\u0259t \u00e7\u0259km\u0259di, ani oldu \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc.<\/p>\n

Bunlar\u0131 dey\u0259 – dey\u0259 \u018fhliman m\u0259n\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131rd\u0131, onun niyy\u0259tini bilirdim. A\u00e7\u0131q qap\u0131dan eyvana \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. A\u015fa\u011f\u0131 bax\u0131rd\u0131. Arxas\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f idi. Ani t\u0259r\u0259dd\u00fcdd\u0259n sonra q\u0259fil h\u0259ml\u0259yl\u0259 var g\u00fcc\u00fcml\u0259 onu it\u0259l\u0259dim, eyvan\u0131n m\u0259h\u0259cc\u0259rind\u0259n a\u015f\u0131b a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 u\u00e7du. Bir an sonra Ay q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda onun da c\u0259s\u0259di s\u0259r\u0259l\u0259nmi\u015fdi.<\/p>\n

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M\u00dc\u018fLL\u0130FD\u018fN. Tizf\u0259hm oxucu, y\u0259qin, anlad\u0131 ki, \u0259s\u0259rin \u018fhliman (\u018fhriman v\u0259 H\u00f6rm\u00fczd) adland\u0131r\u0131lan iki personaj\u0131, \u0259slind\u0259, eyni adamd\u0131. Bel\u0259 olan sur\u0259td\u0259 sual oluna bil\u0259r: m\u00fc\u0259llifin dem\u0259k ist\u0259diyi n\u0259di – Xeyir timsal\u0131 H\u00f6rm\u00fczd \u015e\u0259r timsal\u0131 \u018fhriman\u0131 it\u0259l\u0259yib m\u0259hv edir? Amma onda – ikisi eyni \u015f\u0259xsdirs\u0259 – ikisi d\u0259 m\u0259hv olur ax\u0131…<\/p>\n

El\u0259dir. Amma \u0259s\u0259rin \u0259vv\u0259lin\u0259 qay\u0131d\u0131n. Dem\u0259, diri-diri torpa\u011fa g\u00f6m\u00fcl\u0259n \u00f6lm\u0259yibmi\u015f. Bir t\u0259sad\u00fcf, ya b\u0259lk\u0259, z\u0259rur\u0259t n\u0259tic\u0259sind\u0259 dirilib m\u0259zardan \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r, d\u00fcnyaya qay\u0131d\u0131r, ya\u015fama\u011fa ba\u015flay\u0131r. B\u0259s onda hans\u0131d\u0131r qay\u0131dan- H\u00f6rm\u00fczdm\u00fc, \u018fhrimanm\u0131; Xeyirmi, \u015e\u0259rmi? Ya h\u0259r ikisimi?<\/p>\n

Bu sual\u0131n cavab\u0131n\u0131 – y\u0259ni bu q\u0259rar\u0131 verm\u0259yi – oxucunun ixtiyar\u0131na burax\u0131ram.<\/p>\n

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\u00a0\u0130yul, avqust, sentyabr 2014,<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0Dubrovnik – Bak\u0131<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Yaz\u0131ya 4005 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201c\u018fg\u0259r Allah sizin qulaqlar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 v\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rinizi \u0259linizd\u0259n alsa, \u00fcr\u0259kl\u0259riniz\u0259 m\u00f6h\u00fcr vursa, onlar\u0131 siz\u0259 Allahdan ba\u015fqa kim qaytara bil\u0259r?\u201d \u00a0QURAN\u0130-K\u018fR\u0130M. \u018fl \u018fnam sur\u0259si. 46 \u00abHoratsio, yerl\u0259rd\u0259 v\u0259 g\u00f6yl\u0259rd\u0259 bir \u00e7ox el\u0259 \u015feyl\u0259r vard\u0131r ki, onlar s\u0259nin aliml\u0259rinin yuxusuna da girm\u0259yibdir. Onlar\u0131 bizim idrak\u0131m\u0131z bir x\u00fclya kimi bel\u0259 t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr ed\u0259 bilmir\u00bb. U. \u015eEKSP\u0130R, ingilis dramaturqu, \u00abHamlet\u00bb \u00a0(\u00e7evir\u0259ni […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3627,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16,3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7581"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7581"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7581\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7583,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7581\/revisions\/7583"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3627"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7581"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7581"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7581"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}