{"id":7823,"date":"2015-01-25T16:54:57","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T12:54:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=7823"},"modified":"2015-01-25T16:54:57","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T12:54:57","slug":"orxan-m%c9%99mm%c9%99dli-babam-aglaya-bilmirdi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=7823","title":{"rendered":"Orxan M\u0259mm\u0259dli – Babam a\u011flaya bilmirdi…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"339927_248856571859246_365979802_o\"<\/a><\/p>\n

(memuar-esse)<\/p>\n

– Bilmir\u0259m, n\u0259n\u0259l\u0259rim, babalar\u0131m \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn dar\u0131x\u0131ram yoxsa u\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn. Tez b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim. Qap\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131ndak\u0131 \u015fkafa q\u0259l\u0259ml\u0259 i\u015far\u0259l\u0259r qoyurdum. H\u0259r yaydan sonra uzanma\u011f\u0131m v\u0259 uzanmalar m\u0259ni f\u0259r\u0259hl\u0259ndirirdi. M\u0259n h\u0259r g\u00fcn b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u0259k bar\u0259d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm. \u018fvv\u0259lc\u0259 15-i , sonra 20-ni h\u0259d\u0259f se\u00e7dim. \u0130ndi 29 ya\u015f\u0131m var. Napaleonun 24 , El\u00e7in Quliyevin 34 ya\u015f\u0131nda general olmas\u0131 m\u0259ni daha h\u0259rbiy\u0259 r\u00f6vn\u0259ql\u0259ndirmir. He\u00e7 Ceyhun Osmanl\u0131n\u0131n 28, Zahid Orucun 29 ya\u015f\u0131nda deputat olmas\u0131 da m\u0259ni daha narahat el\u0259mir. Amma bilir\u0259m, bilir\u0259mki, ata n\u0259n\u0259m, indi o d\u00fcnya m\u00f6vcuddursa, m\u0259n\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, \u00e7ox m\u0259yusdur. O ist\u0259yirdiki, m\u0259n “Bak\u0131n\u0131n yiy\u0259si” olum. S\u00fcd\u00fcn qaymaql\u0131, qat\u0131\u011f\u0131n ya\u011fl\u0131 yerini, hinin t\u0259z\u0259 yumurtas\u0131n\u0131, t\u0259ndirin ilk \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259yini m\u0259n\u0259 saxlayan n\u0259n\u0259m, Bak\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6z yiy\u0259l\u0259ri var indi. Plana d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k ad\u0131yla camaat\u0131 \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259n k\u0259nara k\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcrl\u0259r, “ay n\u0259”.
\n– Bilirs\u0259n, ay n\u0259n\u0259 \u0259slind\u0259 s\u0259nin\u00e7\u00fcn, u\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u00e7\u00fcn dar\u0131xma\u011f\u0131m\u0131n t\u0259ht\u0259l\u015f\u00fcurumda bir ad\u0131 da var – ATAM. Adam el\u0259 adam\u00e7\u00fcn el\u0259 dar\u0131x\u0131rki, el\u0259 bil \u00fcr\u0259yi yerind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xacaq. Ba\u015fqa c\u00fcr adam \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn…
\n– Yad\u0131mdad\u0131r, bir d\u0259f\u0259 televizorda atam\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259rirdil\u0259r. Deyindinki, anas\u0131 \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f M\u0259h\u0259mm\u0259d yen\u0259 \u0259ll\u0259rini qoynuna qoyub. Q\u0259zetl\u0259rd\u0259 bel\u0259 \u015fikli az\u0131yd\u0131, indi d\u0259 televizorda \u0259li qoynundad\u0131r. Dedim, ay n\u0259n\u0259, \u0259li qoynunda olanda nolurki?! Dedinki, adam\u0131n anas\u0131-atas\u0131 \u00f6l\u00fcr, yetim qal\u0131r. S\u0259n ist\u0259y\u0259rs\u0259n, bavannan m\u0259n \u00f6l\u00fcm?! Dedim yox ay n\u0259, b\u0259s m\u0259n\u0259 mokru\u015fok \u015falvar\u0131 kim alar?!
\nM\u0259n ki, \u0259limi he\u00e7 qoynuma qoymazd\u0131m, b\u0259s noldu “ay n\u0259” …?!
\n– Atam\u0131 son m\u0259nzil\u0259 yola salma\u011fa ged\u0259nd\u0259 bir mitinq adam\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 babam dediki, \u00e7ox ars\u0131z adamlar\u0131q . Arvad da, m\u0259n d\u0259… Biz dura-dura, apar o c\u00fcr o\u011fulu A\u015fa\u011f\u0131 N\u0259v\u0259tavan\u0131n torpa\u011f\u0131na tap\u015f\u0131r g\u0259l. Babam a\u011flaya bilmirdi. Arada \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc el\u0259 apar\u0131rd\u0131ki, g\u00fcya x\u0259rifl\u0259yib. Amma x\u0259rifl\u0259m\u0259mi\u015fdi. Babam sad\u0259c\u0259 a\u011flaya bilmirdi. Bir d\u0259f\u0259, 11-12 ya\u015f\u0131m olard\u0131, ilan arx\u0131n q\u0131ra\u011f\u0131nda n\u0259n\u0259min d\u00fcz aya\u011f\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n ke\u00e7di. N\u0259n\u0259min vay-\u015f\u00fcv\u0259n q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131na m\u0259n doqqazdan \u00e7atana q\u0259d\u0259r, babam ilan\u0131 yabaya ke\u00e7irmi\u015fdi. A\u00e7\u0131q sar\u0131ya \u00e7alan qab\u0131qs\u0131z ilan idi. N\u0259n\u0259m dediki, ay \u015ean\u0131m bax g\u00f6r, ilan d\u0259qiq \u00f6ld\u00fc?! Ay \u015ean\u0131m n\u0259yiydis\u0259, babam\u0131n ad\u0131 Nazim ola-ola n\u0259n\u0259m ovqat\u0131n\u0131n xo\u015f vaxt\u0131nda babama \u015ean\u0131m deyirdi. Bu \u015ean\u0131m n\u0259 \u015ean\u0131m\u0131yd\u0131sa burada bir sevgi, bir g\u00fcv\u0259nlik, bir az da intim n\u0259s\u0259 vard\u0131. Bu f\u0259ls\u0259f\u0259ni indi ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u0259m. Amma h\u0259min gec\u0259 ulduzlar\u0131n \u00e7\u0131xmas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259mi\u015fdimki, ilan \u00f6ls\u00fcn.
\n– M\u0259mm\u0259d Nazimo\u011flu ad\u0131na y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fanlar\u0131n i\u00e7\u0259risind\u0259 deputat, yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131, jurnalist, m\u0259mur, m\u00fc\u0259llim, traktor\u00e7u, \u0259kin\u00e7i, k\u0259ndli d\u0259 vard\u0131. Amma m\u0259nim fikrim o adam\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259ydi. \u00dcz\u00fc t\u0259bi\u0259t\u0259 ox\u015fayan adam\u0131n. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcmki, o da n\u0259s\u0259 \u015feir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr. Bu d\u0259qiq\u0259 fatih\u0259nin yerin\u0259 mollan\u0131n s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc k\u0259sib, \u00f6z misralar\u0131n\u0131 ucadan dey\u0259c\u0259k. Buna g\u00f6r\u0259, bir az narahat da olurdum.
\n-Babamgilin h\u0259y\u0259tind\u0259 Musa Yaqubun da i\u015ftirak etdiyi atam\u0131n c\u0259naz\u0259 namaz\u0131ndan 2 ild\u0259n bir az \u00e7ox vaxt ke\u00e7di. Soyuq yanvar ay\u0131n\u0131n \u0259vv\u0259li idi. K\u0259ndd\u0259n z\u0259ng g\u0259ldi… Getdik, n\u0259n\u0259mi d\u0259fn el\u0259dik. Atam\u0131n g\u0259l\u0259n dostlar\u0131 da sa\u011f olsun, t\u0259k qoymad\u0131lar vasvas\u0131 ki\u015fini. Babam onlarla bir xeyli s\u00f6hb\u0259t el\u0259di. Kommunizmd\u0259n, \u018fliyevd\u0259n, sovet s\u0259drliyind\u0259n, B\u0259xtiyar Cavadovdan, part\u015fkoladan, SSR\u0130-d\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. \u0130ndi olmas\u0131n, lap el\u0259 indi olsun, \u018fliyevi yaman \u00e7ox ist\u0259yirdi. Deyirdi, a\u011f\u0131zlar\u0131 isti yerd\u0259dir. \u00c7ox \u015fux dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131, ki\u015fi. \u0130\u00e7imd\u0259 bir balaca qeyzl\u0259ndim d\u0259. N\u0259n\u0259min h\u00fcz\u00fcr\u00fcnd\u0259 babam\u0131n bu \u0259hval\u0131na bigan\u0259 qala bilmirdim. Onda, indiki d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259m deyildi. Ad\u0259t\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, ham\u0131 k\u0259d\u0259rli g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259liydi. Babam a\u011flaya bilmirdi. Arada \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc el\u0259 apar\u0131rd\u0131ki, g\u00fcya x\u0259rifl\u0259yib. Amma x\u0259rifl\u0259m\u0259mi\u015fdi. Babam sad\u0259c\u0259 a\u011flaya bilmirdi. B\u0259s, niy\u0259 o vaxt ilan\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc, babam, a\u011flaya bilmirdis\u0259?!
\n– Qay\u0131td\u0131q…25 g\u00fcnd\u0259n sonra bir d\u0259 o k\u0259nd\u0259 qay\u0131td\u0131q. N\u0259n\u0259min yan\u0131nda, babam\u0131 d\u0259fn el\u0259m\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn.
\n– Bilir\u0259m , m\u0259n bir d\u0259 u\u015faq olmayacam. He\u00e7 siz d\u0259 olmayacaqs\u0131z. Amma m\u0259n m\u0259cbur ruhlar\u0131n, o d\u00fcnyan\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131na inan\u0131ram. Atam var, siz vars\u0131z ax\u0131.
\nB\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fckc\u0259 ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u0259mki, adamlar o d\u00fcnyas\u0131z ya\u015faya bilm\u0259zl\u0259r. “O d\u00fcnya” haradasa bir \u00fcmiddir. Amma g\u0259lin \u00f6z d\u00fcnyam\u0131z\u0131 ya\u015fayaq, h\u0259l\u0259ki…<\/p>\n

Yaz\u0131ya 817 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(memuar-esse) – Bilmir\u0259m, n\u0259n\u0259l\u0259rim, babalar\u0131m \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn dar\u0131x\u0131ram yoxsa u\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn. Tez b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim. Qap\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131ndak\u0131 \u015fkafa q\u0259l\u0259ml\u0259 i\u015far\u0259l\u0259r qoyurdum. H\u0259r yaydan sonra uzanma\u011f\u0131m v\u0259 uzanmalar m\u0259ni f\u0259r\u0259hl\u0259ndirirdi. M\u0259n h\u0259r g\u00fcn b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u0259k bar\u0259d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm. \u018fvv\u0259lc\u0259 15-i , sonra 20-ni h\u0259d\u0259f se\u00e7dim. \u0130ndi 29 ya\u015f\u0131m var. Napaleonun 24 , El\u00e7in Quliyevin 34 ya\u015f\u0131nda general olmas\u0131 m\u0259ni daha […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7827,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16,3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7823"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7823"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7823\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7828,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7823\/revisions\/7828"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/7827"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7823"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7823"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7823"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}