![\"Qulu_A\u011fs\u0259s\"](\"http:\/\/kultur.az\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/Qulu_A\u011fs\u0259s.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nQulu A\u011fs\u0259s<\/p>\n
lll<\/p>\n
H\u0259rd\u0259n m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lir ki, \u0259limd\u0259 q\u0259l\u0259m, g\u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259 eyn\u0259k do\u011fulmu\u015fam. Q\u0259l\u0259m d\u0259 \u2014 ayd\u0131n m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259dir \u2014 yazmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnd\u00fcr, eyn\u0259k b\u0259z\u0259n g\u00f6rm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn olmasa da…<\/p>\n
Da\u011flar\u0131n, qayalar\u0131n m\u00fchasir\u0259y\u0259 ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 uzaq bir k\u0259ndd\u0259 d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259ldim.<\/p>\n
Qu\u015flar evl\u0259rin dam\u0131nda ya\u015fay\u0131r, buludlar yallarda yalman\u0131rd\u0131. Adamlar G\u00fcn\u0259\u015fi yand\u0131r\u0131b i\u015f\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r, s\u00f6nd\u00fcr\u00fcb yat\u0131rd\u0131lar. A\u011faclar el\u0259 s\u00fcr\u0259tl\u0259 p\u00f6hr\u0259l\u0259yirdi ki, deyirdin, \u201cq\u0259hr\u0259man ana\u201d olmaq ist\u0259yirl\u0259r.<\/p>\n
H\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259ryaz\u0131 gend\u0259n \u00e7a\u011f\u0131ran bi\u00e7\u0259n\u0259kl\u0259r!<\/p>\n
H\u0259l\u0259 n\u0259n\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 il uzunu \u015falvar dal\u0131 yamadan S\u00fcr\u00fc\u015f\u0259kda\u015f!!<\/p>\n
H\u0259l\u0259 kibrit qutusundan mobil telefon (b\u0259\u015f\u0259riyy\u0259t \u00e7ox sonralar biz\u0259 g\u0259lib \u00e7atacaqd\u0131) d\u00fcz\u0259ltdiyimiz g\u00fcnl\u0259r!..<\/p>\n
H\u0259l\u0259… N\u0259 h\u0259l\u0259?..<\/p>\n
B\u0259y\u0259m buna g\u00f6r\u0259 \u015feir yazma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m?..<\/p>\n
U\u015faqlar Allah\u0131n ver\u0259n g\u00fcn\u00fc qayaya d\u0131rma\u015f\u0131rd\u0131lar. \u018fll\u0259rind\u0259 d\u0259 d\u0259mir \u00e7\u0259kic. Qayalar\u0131n q\u0259lbi yerl\u0259ri o\u011flanlar\u0131n yaz\u0131 stoluydu. Sevdikl\u0259rin\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259k s\u00f6zl\u0259rini \u00e7\u0259kicl\u0259 da\u015fa yaz\u0131rd\u0131lar. \u00dcst\u00fcnd\u0259n ill\u0259r \u00f6t\u0259nd\u0259n sonra m\u0259lum olacaqd\u0131 ki, qayaya qo\u015fa d\u0131rma\u015fan iki dost bir-birind\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259rsiz eyni q\u0131z\u0131n e\u015fqin\u0259 k\u00fcl\u00fcng vururmu\u015f. M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259n: \u201cM\u0259mm\u0259d + I…..\u201d \u015f\u0259klind\u0259. Q\u0131z\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 qorxusundan kim b\u00fct\u00f6v yaza bil\u0259rdi! Adam\u0131 qayaya mismarlayard\u0131lar. \u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259 \u2014 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131lara qad\u0131n, u\u015faq da qalxd\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan \u2014 m\u00fctl\u0259q zirv\u0259y\u0259 d\u0131rma\u015fmal\u0131yd\u0131n. Sirr a\u00e7\u0131rsan ax\u0131! Sirri a\u015fa\u011f\u0131ya etibar el\u0259m\u0259k olmaz! \u2014 ancaq Allaha, ona \u0259lin \u00e7atm\u0131r, qayan\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na! H\u0259, indi o yerl\u0259r \u0259sirlikd\u0259dir: o qaya qar\u0131\u015f\u0131q, o sirr qar\u0131\u015f\u0131q. H\u0259rd\u0259n yuxumda k\u0259nd\u0259 gedir\u0259m, qayaya \u00e7\u0131x\u0131ram, zirv\u0259d\u0259ki yaz\u0131lar\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kicl\u0259 lat\u0131na \u00e7evirir\u0259m ki, d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259n sirrimizi bilm\u0259sin. \u201cTak-tarak-tak-tarrra…\u201d \u018flimin ufultusuna yerimd\u0259n dik at\u0131l\u0131ram. Yuxumda h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 sol \u0259limi \u0259zir\u0259m, ay\u0131landasa g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m ki, a\u011fr\u0131yan sa\u011f \u0259limin orta barma\u011f\u0131d\u0131r. Q\u0259l\u0259min ya\u011f\u0131r el\u0259diyi yer.<\/p>\n
Amma u\u015faq vaxtlar\u0131 he\u00e7 yuxuda da qayaya d\u0131rma\u015fmazd\u0131m; ke\u00e7i deyildim \u2014 bu bir, yax\u015f\u0131 oxuyurdum \u2014 bu iki, qorxurdum \u2014 bu da \u00fc\u00e7.<\/p>\n
M\u0259n sirrimi vara\u011fa yazas\u0131 oldum, \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 q\u0259l\u0259ml\u0259. \u0130\u015fin \u0259n y\u00fcng\u00fcl\u00fcnd\u0259n yap\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Ne\u00e7\u0259 ildir \u015feir yaz\u0131ram, dem\u0259li, \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcn \u00e7oxunu qaya ba\u015f\u0131nda ke\u00e7irmi\u015f\u0259m. Havam \u00e7atmayanda yaz\u0131ram. \u00c7\u0131x\u0131ram varaq \u2014 qayaya, n\u0259f\u0259sim geniyir. Qolum xamlayanda q\u0259l\u0259m \u2014 \u00e7\u0259kic\u0259 cumuram. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 komp\u00fcter\u0259 \u00f6yr\u0259\u015f\u0259 bilm\u0259dim. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 q\u0259l\u0259md\u0259n ayr\u0131lmaq ist\u0259mir\u0259m.<\/p>\n
Ona g\u00f6r\u0259mi \u015feir yazma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m?.. \u0130kinci sinf\u0259 t\u0259z\u0259c\u0259 ke\u00e7mi\u015fdim, b\u00f6y\u00fck qarda\u015f\u0131ma d\u0259rsl\u0259rimi, y\u0259qin ki, \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc d\u0259f\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131b qurtarm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. T\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n a\u011fz\u0131m\u0131 doldururdum ki, Etibar imkan verm\u0259di. Domino oynama\u011f\u0131 t\u0259klif el\u0259di. \u015e\u0259rt\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259, uduzan \u015feir yazmal\u0131yd\u0131. Qarda\u015f\u0131m\u0131 uddum. O, bir satirik \u015feir yazd\u0131. Etibar pis oxuyurdu, o, m\u0259nim z\u0259nnimc\u0259 \u015feir yaza bilm\u0259zdi. Odur ki, ikinci partiya uduzan kimi o biri ota\u011fa \u00e7\u0259kilib yazma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. A-ha! Bu, dey\u0259s\u0259n, \u015feirdi. \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, \u015feirdi! Ax\u0131 m\u0259n qarda\u015f\u0131mdan a\u011f\u0131ll\u0131yam, yax\u015f\u0131 oxuyuram. O yazan \u2014 bu yazan. Bak\u0131da \u00e7ap olundum. H\u0259l\u0259 be\u015finci sinifd\u0259 oxuyanda. \u00c7ox tez \u015f\u00f6hr\u0259t qazand\u0131m. Ham\u0131s\u0131 domino oynaya bilm\u0259m\u0259yin ucbat\u0131ndan.<\/p>\n
Amma ona g\u00f6r\u0259mi \u015feir yazma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m?..<\/p>\n
lll<\/p>\n
H\u0259rd\u0259n soru\u015furlar: sizc\u0259, Qaraba\u011f Az\u0259rbaycan v\u0259 T\u00fcrk d\u00fcnyas\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn n\u0259 dem\u0259kdir?<\/p>\n
Yax\u015f\u0131 olard\u0131 ki, bu suala Az\u0259rbaycan cavab versin. Amma Az\u0259rbaycan bu suala cavab ver\u0259 bilm\u0259z, \u00e7\u00fcnki Qaraba\u011f\u0131n yan\u0131nda Az\u0259rbaycan\u0131n dili q\u0131sad\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Yax\u015f\u0131 olard\u0131 ki, bu suala T\u00fcrk d\u00fcnyas\u0131 cavab versin. Amma T\u00fcrk d\u00fcnyas\u0131 bu suala cavab ver\u0259 bilm\u0259z. \u00c7\u00fcnki Qaraba\u011f\u0131n yan\u0131nda T\u00fcrk d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131n dili q\u0131sad\u0131r.<\/p>\n
\u0130ndi g\u00f6r\u00fcn Qaraba\u011f Az\u0259rbaycan v\u0259 T\u00fcrk d\u00fcnyas\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn n\u0259 dem\u0259kdir!<\/p>\n
M\u0259nim ana t\u0259r\u0259fim azman saz-s\u00f6z ustas\u0131 A\u015f\u0131q Valeh\u0259 gedib \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r. Anam\u0131n day\u0131s\u0131 Az\u0259rbaycan\u0131n \u00fcnl\u00fc tarz\u0259ni Qurban Pirimovdur. Ata t\u0259r\u0259fims\u0259 qaradinm\u0259z n\u0259sildir. Onlar\u0131n n\u0259inki yazmaq, he\u00e7 dan\u0131\u015fmaqla da aras\u0131 olmay\u0131b.<\/p>\n
M\u0259n do\u011fulanda atam A\u011fs\u0259s ki\u015finin \u0259lli \u00fc\u00e7, anam S\u0259may\u0259 xan\u0131m\u0131n \u0259lli ya\u015f\u0131 olub. \u0130ki ya\u015f\u0131mda atam\u0131 itirmi\u015f\u0259m. Ondan m\u0259n\u0259 qalan yegan\u0259 s\u0259rv\u0259t ad\u0131d\u0131r: A\u011fs\u0259s. T\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr el\u0259yin ki, bu ki\u015finin ad\u0131n\u0131 qad\u0131nlar he\u00e7 vaxt \u00e7\u0259km\u0259zmi\u015fl\u0259r. \u00c7\u00fcnki atam arvadlara n\u0259 salam ver\u0259r, n\u0259 d\u0259 onlar\u0131n salam\u0131n\u0131 alarm\u0131\u015f. H\u0259tta anam\u0131 da \u201ca ki\u015fi\u201d dey\u0259 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rarm\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n
lll<\/p>\n
Deyir, bir g\u00fcn iki k\u00f6hn\u0259 tan\u0131\u015f k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259 rastla\u015f\u0131r. Biri o birin\u0259 qay\u0131d\u0131r ki, n\u0259 var, n\u0259 yox? \u0130kinci yoxdan ba\u015flay\u0131r: ev yox, i\u015f yox, pul yox, kef yox…<\/p>\n
Tan\u0131\u015f\u0131 ona t\u0259pinir ki, \u0259, \u00fcr\u0259yimi \u00fczd\u00fcn, adla vara. Adla adla da! Deyir, borcum var, d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259nim var, azar\u0131m var, ay\u0131b olmas\u0131n, bir-iki ay\u0131b i\u015fim var… Birinci t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n partlay\u0131r: dayan, s\u0259n Allah \u2014 deyir \u2014 s\u0259nin var\u0131n yoxundan pisdi ki…<\/p>\n
M\u0259nims\u0259 var\u0131m \u00e7ox azd\u0131, yoxum \u00e7ox \u00e7oxdu. Kas\u0131b\u0131n da ayd\u0131nd\u0131 ki, dili q\u0131sa olar. X\u0259sislikl\u0259 \u00e7ap olunma\u011f\u0131n bir s\u0259b\u0259bi d\u0259 budu. Y\u0259ni az yazma\u011f\u0131m. H\u0259m d\u0259 jurnal i\u015fi yarad\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131ma \u0259m\u0259lli-ba\u015fl\u0131 mane olur. \u015eeirs\u0259 \u00e7ox q\u0131sqancd\u0131, bir ayr\u0131 yaz\u0131ya ondan \u00e7ox vaxt ay\u0131rd\u0131nsa, qan\u0131n getdi, o da \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 bir yar qaralayacaq, nec\u0259 ki qaralay\u0131r da. Amma… s\u0259b\u0259b t\u0259kc\u0259 bu deyil ax\u0131! T\u0259z\u0259 n\u0259s\u0259 yazmaq, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n k\u0259\u015ff el\u0259m\u0259k adama h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259mi n\u0259sib olur?! B\u0259s aylarla c\u0131z\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131xa bilm\u0259diyin u\u011fursuzluq zola\u011f\u0131? B\u0259s yolda q\u0259zaya d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n misralar\u0131n reanimasiya stolunda g\u00f6z\u00fcn g\u00f6r\u0259-g\u00f6r\u0259 can verm\u0259yi? B\u0259s, Allah, qarda\u015f\u0131m, Allah?! H\u0259r \u015fey insan\u0131nm\u0131 \u0259lind\u0259di. Yox, atam, yox!..<\/p>\n
Bayaq soru\u015fdun ki, n\u0259 var, n\u0259 yox; Allah var, Allah! Yoxu var, var\u0131 yox el\u0259y\u0259n…<\/p>\n
lll<\/p>\n
M\u0259n \u015fiv\u0259d\u0259n istifad\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7ox yax\u015f\u0131 bax\u0131ram, m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259n, qazaxl\u0131lar\u0131n \u201cd\u0259rdi\u015f\u201d s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc misraya g\u0259tirm\u0259k \u015feirin xalq ruhunu bir az da art\u0131r\u0131r. Amma \u015fiv\u0259d\u0259 yazma\u011fa l\u00fczum g\u00f6rm\u00fcr\u0259m. Birc\u0259 el\u0259 o qal\u0131b ki, \u0259d\u0259biyyat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 da regionla\u015fd\u0131raq…<\/p>\n
lll<\/p>\n
V\u0259ziyy\u0259t h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 sonradan yax\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011fa do\u011fru gedir. \u00d6l\u0259n \u00f6l\u00fcr, qalan qal\u0131r. B\u0259z\u0259n d\u0259 \u0259ksin\u0259: \u00f6l\u0259n qal\u0131r, qalan \u00f6l\u00fcr. Amma ham\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n bir t\u0259s\u0259llisi var: \u201cruhumuz g\u00f6y q\u00fcbb\u0259sinin alt\u0131nda qalacaq\u201d dey\u0259… (N.Hikm\u0259t), \u201cd\u00fcnya duracaq yer deyil\u201d. dey\u0259.. (\u0130.N\u0259simi); dey\u0259-dey\u0259 duraca\u011f\u0131q, susa-susa dan\u0131\u015faca\u011f\u0131q, bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n tiraj\u0131 indiy\u0259c\u0259n \u00e7ap olunmu\u015f b\u00fct\u00fcn \u0259s\u0259rl\u0259rin say\u0131n\u0131 gerid\u0259 qoyacaq, duy\u011fular\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n auditoriyas\u0131nda \u201cs\u00fckut \u0259l \u00e7alacaq\u201d (V.S\u0259m\u0259do\u011flu) v\u0259 sonda… \u0259n sonda… bax\u0131b g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259yik ki, \u201cs\u0259ns\u0259n h\u0259r yer, \u0130lahi\u201d… (Q.A\u011fs\u0259s).<\/p>\n
lll<\/p>\n
T\u0259rc\u00fcmeyi-hal\u0131 H\u00fcseyn Cavidl\u0259 \u00fcst-\u00fcst\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n \u0259r\u0259b filosof-\u015fairi C\u0259bran X\u0259lil C\u0259bran\u0131n bir k\u0259lam\u0131nda deyilir: \u201c\u015eairl\u0259 alim aras\u0131nda bir zolaq var. Bu \u015f\u0259ffaf zolaqdan \u0259g\u0259r alim \u015fair\u0259 sar\u0131 adlay\u0131rsa, o, m\u00fcdrik, \u015fair alim\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f istiqam\u0259tl\u0259nirs\u0259, o, dahi olur\u201d. M\u0259n h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 aral\u0131q bir zonada ya\u015fama\u011f\u0131n t\u0259r\u0259fdar\u0131 olmu\u015fam. \u0130ki \u0259ks q\u00fctb\u00fcn aras\u0131nda dayanma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131ram. H\u0259tta publisist yaz\u0131lar\u0131mda da \u00f6z m\u00f6vqeyiml\u0259 c\u0259miyy\u0259tin m\u00f6vqeyi aras\u0131ndak\u0131 m\u00f6vqeyi q\u0259l\u0259m\u0259 alma\u011fa c\u0259hd edir\u0259m. \u015eeird\u0259 is\u0259 Allahla \u00f6z\u00fcm aras\u0131nda olanlar\u0131 tap\u0131b yazmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m. B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131 dem\u0259kd\u0259 m\u0259qs\u0259dim odur ki, yuxu il\u0259 oyanma\u011f\u0131m aras\u0131ndak\u0131 m\u00fcdd\u0259t \u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259l bir hald\u0131r m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn. \u00c7oxseriyal\u0131, b\u0259z\u0259n d\u0259 r\u0259ngli yuxular g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 yuxudan adi h\u0259yata qay\u0131tmaq m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00e7\u0259tin olur. Yuxudan ay\u0131l\u0131b t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n h\u0259yata qay\u0131td\u0131\u011f\u0131ma g\u00f6r\u0259 yox, h\u0259min aral\u0131q m\u0259saf\u0259y\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 Allaha \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr edir\u0259m. Raz\u0131la\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir m\u0259s\u0259l d\u0259 var: \u201c\u0130nsan h\u0259r ax\u015fam \u00f6l\u00fcr, h\u0259r s\u0259h\u0259r t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n do\u011fulur\u201d. Yuxu haqq\u0131nda n\u0259 deyirl\u0259r-desinl\u0259r, o, m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn el\u0259 bir \u0259srar\u0259ngiz \u015feydir ki, he\u00e7 ay\u0131lmaq ist\u0259mir\u0259m. B\u0259z\u0259n ger\u00e7\u0259klikl\u0259 yuxunu s\u0259hv sal\u0131ram. H\u0259yatda g\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259rim m\u0259n\u0259 yuxu kimi g\u0259lir…<\/p>\n
… H\u0259m d\u0259 el\u0259 ist\u0259kl\u0259rim, arzular\u0131m var ki, onlar\u0131 m\u0259nd\u0259n ba\u015fqa kims\u0259 bilm\u0259m\u0259lidir. H\u0259tta onlar\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 bel\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmaqdan \u00e7\u0259kinir\u0259m. V\u0259 \u00e7ox \u00e7\u0259kmir ki, h\u0259min ist\u0259kl\u0259ri yuxuda g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n he\u00e7 bir g\u00fczg\u00fcs\u00fc m\u0259ni yuxudak\u0131 kimi g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259 bilm\u0259z.Yuxuda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fclm\u0259sin\u0259 bel\u0259 qada\u011fa qoydu\u011fum hissl\u0259riml\u0259, duy\u011fular\u0131mla birg\u0259 oluram. H\u0259tta onlara \u0259ll\u0259 toxunuram el\u0259 bil. Hesab edin ki, yuxular m\u0259nim \u0259sl h\u0259yat\u0131md\u0131. M\u0259nim orijinal\u0131m yuxular\u0131mdad\u0131r.<\/p>\n
lll<\/p>\n
Yazma\u011fa \u00e7ox erk\u0259n \u2014 9 ya\u015f\u0131mdan ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fam. Onda v\u0259rdi\u015fd\u0259n, vergid\u0259n, ilhamdan x\u0259b\u0259rim yox idi. T\u0259xmin\u0259n 6-7 ild\u0259n sonra yazmaq m\u0259nd\u0259 \u201cxroniki x\u0259st\u0259liy\u0259\u201d \u00e7evrildi. Bir ucdan oxuyub-yaz\u0131rd\u0131m. Sonradan m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259r m\u0259n\u0259 \u015feir yazma\u011fa qada\u011fa qoydular, \u00e7\u00fcnki d\u0259rsl\u0259riml\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011ful olmurdum. M\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259r m\u0259nd\u0259 psixoloji d\u0259yi\u015fiklik yarand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, get-ged\u0259 m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259n, adamlardan qorxdu\u011fumu hiss etm\u0259mi\u015f deyildil\u0259r… \u0130yn\u0259 vurdurmaqdan qorxsam bel\u0259, \u0259sg\u0259rlikd\u0259 olanda di\u015fl\u0259rimi \u00e7\u0259kdirib qospitalda yat\u0131rd\u0131m ki, \u015feir yazma\u011fa vaxt\u0131m olsun. Rilkenin \u201cG\u0259nc \u015fair\u0259 m\u0259ktub\u201dunda oxumu\u015fdum: \u201c\u018fg\u0259r hesab edirs\u0259ns\u0259 ki, yazmaya bilm\u0259zs\u0259n, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc yoxla \u2014 \u00e7\u0259kil \u0259d\u0259biyyatdan, ba\u015fqa i\u015fl\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011ful ol. G\u00f6r \u0259g\u0259r yazmaya bilmirs\u0259ns\u0259, t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n qay\u0131t yazma\u011fa\u201d. Bunu oxuyanda \u00e7ox pis oldum. H\u0259tta bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t yazmad\u0131m. Y\u0259ni bunu v\u0259rdi\u015f kimi q\u0259bul el\u0259m\u0259yim b\u0259s ed\u0259c\u0259kdi ki, bir d\u0259 \u0259lim\u0259 q\u0259l\u0259m almay\u0131m. Amma \u201cyoxlama\u201ddan u\u011furla \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m \u2014 t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n yazma\u011fa ba\u015f lad\u0131m. V\u0259rdi\u015f \u2014 pe\u015f\u0259karl\u0131q yarada bil\u0259r. Amma m\u0259n pe\u015f\u0259kar ola bilmir\u0259m. \u00dcr\u0259yim ist\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 yaz\u0131ram, ist\u0259m\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 yox. \u00dcr\u0259yim lap ist\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259, q\u0131\u015fq\u0131randa, m\u0259ni \u0259ld\u0259n salanda \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131ram yaz\u0131m. \u018fd\u0259biyyatda, \u015feird\u0259 bel\u0259 pe\u015f\u0259karl\u0131\u011f\u0131 q\u0259tiyy\u0259n q\u0259bul el\u0259mir\u0259m. M\u0259n jurnalistikaya ona g\u00f6r\u0259 ba\u011fland\u0131m ki, b\u0259dii s\u00f6zl\u0259 he\u00e7 vaxt pul qazanmay\u0131m.<\/p>\n
lll<\/p>\n
Bir vaxtlar, x\u00fcsus\u0259n Sovet d\u00f6vr\u00fcnd\u0259 \u0259d\u0259biyyat v\u0259 inc\u0259s\u0259n\u0259tl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 g\u00fccl\u00fc \u0259n\u0259n\u0259 oldu\u011fu \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u0259d\u0259biyyata g\u0259l\u0259nl\u0259rd\u0259 se\u00e7ilm\u0259k duy\u011fusu olurdu. M\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcm d\u0259 \u015feirl\u0259rim\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 b\u00fct\u00fcn rayonda tan\u0131nm\u0131\u015fam, m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 se\u00e7ilmi\u015f\u0259m. \u0130nsan\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn \u0259ll\u0259\u015fib-vuru\u015fmas\u0131 azd\u0131r. G\u0259r\u0259k onu Tanr\u0131 se\u00e7sin. \u00c7ox populyar adam ola bil\u0259rs\u0259n, amma Allah s\u0259ni se\u00e7m\u0259y\u0259 bil\u0259r… Z\u0259hm\u0259t \u00e7\u0259kib \u0259m\u0259kdar pamb\u0131q\u00e7\u0131 olmaq m\u00fcmk\u00fcnd\u00fcr. Amma yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n qabiliyy\u0259ti h\u0259l\u0259 \u00e7ox kitab oxumaqla, z\u0259hm\u0259tl\u0259 \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fclm\u00fcr. Allah s\u0259nin \u201cqab\u0131na n\u0259 qoyubsa\u201d, onunla se\u00e7ilm\u0259yin t\u0259r\u0259fdar\u0131yam.<\/p>\n
lll<\/p>\n
S\u0259mimi \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 deyir\u0259m bunu: kimins\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259y\u0259r verm\u0259sind\u0259n sevinm\u0259y\u0259 bilmir\u0259m, x\u00fcsusil\u0259 depressiya vaxt\u0131, o m\u0259qamda e\u015fid\u0259nd\u0259 ki, h\u00f6rm\u0259t etdiyim adamlardan biri m\u0259nim haqq\u0131mda xo\u015f s\u00f6zl\u0259r deyib, dem\u0259li, ovqat\u0131n n\u00f6vb\u0259ti k\u00fct z\u0259rb\u0259sind\u0259n \u2013 nokautdan m\u0259ni xilas etmi\u015f olur. Amma h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 xo\u015f s\u00f6z e\u015fitm\u0259k fikrind\u0259 d\u0259 deyil\u0259m. V\u0259 el\u0259 bir q\u0259l\u0259m adam\u0131 tan\u0131m\u0131ram ki, birm\u0259nal\u0131 \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 onun yaz\u0131lar\u0131na bax\u0131b \u201cbundan yoxdur\u201d dey\u0259s\u0259n. Yarad\u0131c\u0131l\u0131q yol getm\u0259k kimidir, m\u0259saf\u0259 q\u0259t etm\u0259kdir. U\u015faq vaxt\u0131 bir \u015fey\u0259 mara\u011f\u0131m var idi \u2013 k\u0259ndimizd\u0259n g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n \u201cyerl\u0259 g\u00f6y\u00fcn birl\u0259\u015fdiyi\u201d yer\u0259 qa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131m. 3-5 km qa\u00e7andan sonra ordan bax\u0131rd\u0131m ki, indi evimizin yan\u0131nda g\u00f6yl\u0259 yer birl\u0259\u015fib. Bir d\u0259 o \u00fcz\u0259 gedirdm. H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 gedirdim, gedirdim… He\u00e7 vaxt yerl\u0259 g\u00f6y\u00fcn birl\u0259\u015fdiyi yer\u0259 \u00e7ata bilmirdim. M\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn Allah da, m\u00fctl\u0259q h\u0259qiq\u0259t d\u0259, s\u00f6z\u00fcn yuvas\u0131 da il\u011f\u0131m kimi uzaqdad\u0131r. H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 yerl\u0259 g\u00f6y\u00fcn birl\u0259\u015fdiyi yer\u0259 getm\u0259k ist\u0259yir\u0259m. V\u0259 h\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 ged\u0259nd\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m ki, \u0259lim bo\u015fa \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r.<\/p>\n
lll<\/p>\n
K\u0259nar yerd\u0259 yazma\u011f\u0131 bacarm\u0131ram. \u015eeir yazmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u0259lim\u0259 q\u0259l\u0259m alanda \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc paltars\u0131z kimi hiss edir\u0259m, utan\u0131ram. H\u0259tta gizl\u0259dib bir m\u00fcdd\u0259td\u0259n sonra \u00fcz\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131ram. Normal \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 oturub \u015feir yaz\u0131m \u2013 m\u0259nd\u0259 bel\u0259 \u015fey olmay\u0131b. Bel\u0259 dey\u0259k, \u201cd\u0259mi g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259\u201d yaz\u0131ram. Yarad\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131mla ba\u011fl\u0131 qabaqcadan n\u0259 is\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131b dan\u0131\u015fandan sonra he\u00e7 n\u0259 yaza bilmir\u0259m. G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, bu, \u015feirl\u0259 ikimizin aram\u0131zda olan gizli m\u00fcnasib\u0259td\u0259n do\u011fur. M\u0259nim al\u0259mimd\u0259 yaz\u0131 prosesind\u0259 q\u0259l\u0259ml\u0259 ka\u011f\u0131z\u0131n m\u00fcnasib\u0259ti var. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 m\u0259ntiq\u0259 uy\u011fun deyil, ka\u011f\u0131z\u0131 q\u0131z kimi, q\u0259l\u0259mi o\u011flan kimi g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m. Yazanda el\u0259 bilir\u0259m el\u00e7ilik edir\u0259m, evl\u0259ndirir\u0259m onlar\u0131. Toydan sonra, t\u0259bii ki, onlar\u0131n balalar\u0131 olur.<\/p>\n
lll<\/p>\n
M\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t yegan\u0259 t\u0259m\u0259nnas\u0131z m\u00fcnasib\u0259tdir. Burda \u015f\u0259rt qoyulmur ki, s\u0259ni ist\u0259diyim\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 m\u0259ni sevm\u0259lis\u0259n, sevgi \u00fcnvan\u0131n\u0131, \u015f\u0259klini d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259 bilir, amma itmir, iti, pi\u015fiyi, torpag\u0131, insan\u0131 da sevm\u0259k olar. Sevgi olmayanda t\u0259m\u0259nnal\u0131 m\u00fcnasib\u0259t olur, proporsiya, balansla\u015fma yaran\u0131r. M\u0259n yuxuda u\u00e7uram, amma sev\u0259nd\u0259 el\u0259 ger\u00e7\u0259kd\u0259 d\u0259 u\u00e7uram. \u018fg\u0259r sevgi x\u0259st\u0259likdirs\u0259, onu ham\u0131ya arzulay\u0131ram, taundursa, qoy b\u0259\u015f\u0259riyy\u0259t ondan m\u0259hv olsun. Sevgi ona g\u00f6r\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u00fcr, e\u015fitmir ki, o, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n cazib\u0259 qanunundan k\u0259nara \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r.<\/p>\n
lll<\/p>\n
Fatalist deyil\u0259m, al\u0131n yaz\u0131ma inansam da, m\u0259nc\u0259, redakt\u0259, d\u00fcz\u0259li\u015fl\u0259r el\u0259m\u0259k insan\u0131n \u00f6z \u0259lind\u0259dir. Baxd\u0131\u011f\u0131m tama\u015falarda komediya il\u0259 faci\u0259 bir-biri il\u0259 o q\u0259d\u0259r ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r ki, komediya bax\u0131m\u0131ndan \u00f6lm\u0259k, faci\u0259 bax\u0131m\u0131ndan sevinm\u0259k olur. Amma inan\u0131ram ki, bizim yer\u00fcst\u00fc qanunlar\u0131m\u0131z Allah\u0131n yan\u0131nda i\u015fl\u0259mir. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 Allah bizi bu janrlara aid etm\u0259z. Ola bil\u0259r ki, daban-dabana bir-birini izl\u0259y\u0259n qar\u0131\u015f\u0131q \u015feydir al\u0131n yaz\u0131m\u0131z. Komediya v\u0259 faci\u0259nin u\u011furla bir-birini \u0259v\u0259z etdikl\u0259rin\u0259 inan\u0131ram. Yadda qalan is\u0259 adam oldu\u011fumu unutmama\u011f\u0131md\u0131r…<\/p>\n
lll<\/p>\n
\u018fd\u0259biyyat su kimi bir \u015feydi. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n yetmi\u015f faizi sudu, onun da \u00fc\u00e7 faizi i\u00e7m\u0259li. O \u00fc\u00e7 faizd\u0259n ikisi \u015eimal buzlu okean\u0131nda. Qalan bir faiz d\u0259 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131da, yerin alt\u0131nda. Onu da tapmaq laz\u0131md\u0131. Faradey i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 tapana q\u0259d\u0259r i\u015f\u0131q var idi d\u0259. Nec\u0259 olma\u011f\u0131ndan as\u0131l\u0131 olmayaraq, s\u00f6z h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 olur. Bir var, m\u0259n on birinci \u0259srd\u0259 ya\u015fayayd\u0131m, bir d\u0259 var, iyirmi birinci \u0259srd\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131ram. G\u00f6r n\u0259 boyda f\u0259rq var. O vaxt s\u00f6z\u0259 t\u0259\u015fn\u0259ydil\u0259r. S\u00f6z\u0259 \u0259l d\u0259ym\u0259mi\u015fdil\u0259r. S\u00f6zl\u0259rin ham\u0131s\u0131 bakir\u0259ydi. \u0130ndi hans\u0131 birin\u0259 \u00fcz tutursan, g\u00f6r\u00fcrs\u0259n ki, bunu Nizami tapday\u0131b, F\u00fczuli suya g\u00f6nd\u0259rib, Vaqif oynad\u0131b-oynad\u0131b at\u0131b q\u0131ra\u011fa, A\u015f\u0131q Valeh D\u0259rb\u0259nd\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r s\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fcb. Biz\u0259 indi t\u0259krar emal olunmu\u015f s\u00f6zl\u0259rd\u0259n fikir dem\u0259k qal\u0131b. S\u00f6z a\u011fac\u0131 da yoxdu. Onu da k\u0259sibl\u0259r, g\u0259r\u0259k k\u00f6k\u00fcn\u0259 ged\u0259s\u0259n. \u018flimiz\u0259 bir d\u0259n\u0259 s\u00f6z bayra\u011f\u0131 veribl\u0259r, \u00e7atd\u0131r\u0131n estafet\u0259. Kim haracan apara bildi \u2013 bildi! Nizami s\u0259kkiz y\u00fcz ildi qa\u00e7\u0131r, F\u00fczuli be\u015f y\u00fcz ildi, Molla P\u0259nah Vaqif \u00fc\u00e7 y\u00fcz il\u0259 \u00e7atacaq. \u018fli K\u0259rim yetmi\u015f ildi…<\/p>\n
\u201cNa\u015fir\u201d jurnal\u0131<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Yaz\u0131ya 837 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Qulu A\u011fs\u0259s lll H\u0259rd\u0259n m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lir ki, \u0259limd\u0259 q\u0259l\u0259m, g\u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259 eyn\u0259k do\u011fulmu\u015fam. Q\u0259l\u0259m d\u0259 \u2014 ayd\u0131n m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259dir \u2014 yazmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnd\u00fcr, eyn\u0259k b\u0259z\u0259n g\u00f6rm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn olmasa da… Da\u011flar\u0131n, qayalar\u0131n m\u00fchasir\u0259y\u0259 ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 uzaq bir k\u0259ndd\u0259 d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259ldim. Qu\u015flar evl\u0259rin dam\u0131nda ya\u015fay\u0131r, buludlar yallarda yalman\u0131rd\u0131. Adamlar G\u00fcn\u0259\u015fi yand\u0131r\u0131b i\u015f\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r, s\u00f6nd\u00fcr\u00fcb yat\u0131rd\u0131lar. A\u011faclar el\u0259 s\u00fcr\u0259tl\u0259 p\u00f6hr\u0259l\u0259yirdi […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5061,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16,3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7843"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7843"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7843\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7845,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7843\/revisions\/7845"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5061"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7843"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7843"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7843"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}