{"id":8256,"date":"2015-02-19T14:26:12","date_gmt":"2015-02-19T10:26:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=8256"},"modified":"2015-02-19T14:26:12","modified_gmt":"2015-02-19T10:26:12","slug":"tural-sahab-k%c9%99p%c9%99n%c9%99yin-gund%c9%99liyi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=8256","title":{"rendered":"Tural Sahab – K\u0259p\u0259n\u0259yin g\u00fcnd\u0259liyi"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"tural<\/a>\u00dc\u00e7 g\u00fcnl\u00fck d\u00fcnyad\u0131. D\u00fcn\u0259n m\u0259n vard\u0131m, s\u0259n d\u0259 vard\u0131n. Bu g\u00fcn m\u0259n varam, s\u0259n yoxsan. Sabah is\u0259 n\u0259 m\u0259n olacam, n\u0259 d\u0259 s\u0259n…<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00dc\u00e7 n\u0259f\u0259slik d\u00fcnyad\u0131, he\u00e7 bir n\u0259f\u0259sin\u0259 hakim ola bilm\u0259diyimiz, bir n\u0259f\u0259si bel\u0259 bizim olmayan. Bir damla g\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131m\u0131z bel\u0259 bizim olmazk\u0259n, bir- birimiz\u0259 sahib ola bilm\u0259zdik. Bu g\u00fcn ayr\u0131l\u0131\u011fa, sabah is\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcm\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fclm\u0259..<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0Balaca bir k\u0259p\u0259n\u0259yin \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcnl\u00fck \u00f6mr\u00fcnd\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 yazmas\u0131 m\u0259ni \u00e7ox duyquland\u0131rd\u0131. O, da yazmaq unudulmamaq ist\u0259yirdi m\u0259nim kimi. Onun balaca q\u0259lbind\u0259ki sonsuzluq\u00a0 ist\u0259yini h\u0259yata ke\u00e7irm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, yen\u0259 onun g\u00fcnd\u0259liyini insancaya \u00e7evirm\u0259k ist\u0259dim. Oldu\u011fu kimi… bir s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc bel\u0259 d\u0259yi\u015fdirm\u0259d\u0259n…<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0G\u00fcnd\u0259lik:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Birinci g\u00fcn: – \u00a0Bir bahar s\u0259h\u0259ri g\u00fcn\u0259\u015fin ard\u0131nca m\u0259n g\u0259ldim d\u00fcnyaya, y\u0259ni g\u00fcn\u0259\u015f da\u011flar\u0131n arxas\u0131ndan, m\u0259n d\u0259 anam olan qozadan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m. T\u0259k f\u0259rqimiz vard\u0131. O,\u00a0 milyonlarca d\u0259f\u0259 ya\u015fam\u0131\u015fd\u0131 bu an\u0131 v\u0259 ya\u015fayacaqd\u0131. M\u0259n is\u0259 ilk, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 son d\u0259f\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131m. B\u0259li, g\u00fcn\u0259\u015f do\u011fdu canl\u0131, cans\u0131z h\u0259r \u015feyi sevginin r\u0259ngin\u0259 boyand\u0131. Qu\u015flar\u0131n n\u0259\u011fm\u0259si g\u00f6y \u00fcz\u00fc r\u0259ngind\u0259 idi, g\u00f6y \u00fcz\u00fc is\u0259 qu\u015flar\u0131n n\u0259\u011fm\u0259sinin r\u0259ngin\u0259 boyand\u0131. Qozadan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m, bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t u\u00e7ma\u011fa g\u00fcc\u00fcm \u00e7atmad\u0131. Sonra yava\u015f- yava\u015f qanadlar\u0131m b\u0259rkidi v\u0259 m\u0259n havaya qalxd\u0131m. \u0130lahi, u\u00e7maq n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r g\u00f6z\u0259ldi, n\u0259f\u0259s almaq, g\u00fcll\u0259rin g\u00f6z\u0259lliyin\u0259 toxunmaq, yeni \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259mi\u015f a\u011faclar\u0131n yard\u0131m\u0131na qa\u00e7maq, n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r g\u00f6z\u0259ldi… \u00dcr\u0259yim sevgi il\u0259 dolmu\u015fdu. Biz d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 sevm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn g\u0259lirik. \u018fg\u0259r bir \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259y\u0259 sevdalanmasaq ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f say\u0131lmar\u0131q. Onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn doyunca, yorulana q\u0259d\u0259r u\u00e7maq, bu \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcnl\u00fck \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fc doya- doya ya\u015famaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn- a\u015fiq olmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bir \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259k axtar\u0131rd\u0131m.Tanr\u0131 bizim ad\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 sevgi il\u0259 yaz\u0131b, sevgi il\u0259 yaratd\u0131 bizi. Bir q\u0259d\u0259r u\u00e7andan sonra h\u00fcnd\u00fcr qayal\u0131qlara t\u0259r\u0259f g\u0259ldiyimi hiss etdim. A\u015fa\u011f\u0131da balaca \u00e7ay da\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 qaba\u011f\u0131nda d\u0131\u011farlayan n\u0259hir, yuxar\u0131da is\u0259 y\u00fcz ill\u0259r\u0259 \u015fahidlik ed\u0259n s\u0259rt qayalar. R\u00fczgar\u0131n da yard\u0131m\u0131 il\u0259 qayalar\u0131n \u0259n y\u00fcks\u0259k yerin\u0259 qondum. Bir d\u0259 n\u0259 g\u00f6rs\u0259m yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131- bir \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259k. Da\u015flar\u0131n aras\u0131ndan ba\u015f qald\u0131ran g\u00f6z\u0259l, mavi bir \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259k. B\u0259li, e\u015fq m\u0259n\u0259 do\u011fru ilk add\u0131m\u0131 atd\u0131, bir g\u00f6z q\u0131rp\u0131m\u0131nda balaca \u00fcr\u0259yim \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc bu qayal\u0131qlardan sonsuzlu\u011fa atd\u0131. M\u0259n a\u015fiq olmu\u015fdum, m\u0259n sevirdim…. F\u0259rqli biri oldu\u011fumu qozadan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131\u011f\u0131m ilk anlarda anlad\u0131m. M\u0259n s\u0131radan bir \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259yi sev\u0259 bilm\u0259zdim. Torpaqda h\u0259r toxum c\u00fcc\u0259r\u0259 bil\u0259r, m\u0259n\u0259 da\u015flar\u0131n aras\u0131nda bit\u0259c\u0259k q\u0259d\u0259r c\u0259sur\u00a0 biri laz\u0131md\u0131. Y\u00fczl\u0259rl\u0259 k\u0259p\u0259n\u0259k v\u0259 ar\u0131n\u0131n naz\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0259k\u0259n g\u00fcll\u0259r \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yarad\u0131lmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. M\u0259n bu s\u0259rt qayal\u0131qlarda bitib,\u00a0 k\u00fcl\u0259kl\u0259r\u0259 \u00fcsyan ed\u0259n, buludlardan su i\u00e7\u0259n bu mavi g\u00fcl\u00fc sevm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yarad\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m…<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00d6mr\u00fcm\u00fcn ilk g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fc sevgimi ona bildim\u0259kl\u0259 v\u0259 isbat el\u0259m\u0259kl\u0259 ke\u00e7irdi, ke\u00e7\u0259c\u0259kdi. Da\u011f g\u00fcl\u00fcm bitdiyi qayal\u0131qlar kimi m\u00f6hk\u0259m irad\u0259li birin\u0259 h\u0259diyy\u0259 ed\u0259 bil\u0259rdi q\u0259lbini . Unutdum ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 havaya qalx\u0131b, d\u0259r\u0259nin dibin\u0259 yuvarland\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn. \u00c7aya \u00e7atana q\u0259d\u0259r qanadlar\u0131m\u0131 q\u0259sd\u0259n a\u00e7m\u0131rd\u0131m ki, b\u0259lk\u0259 m\u0259rh\u0259m\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259lib \u201c h\u0259\u201d cavab\u0131n\u0131 ver\u0259, ancaq, yox q\u0259lbind\u0259ki da\u015falar\u0131 s\u0131nd\u0131rma\u011f\u0131 bacara bilmirdim. G\u00fcn\u0259\u015f bir az sonra\u00a0 da\u011flar\u0131n arxas\u0131nda yoxa \u00e7\u0131xacaq, gizl\u0259n\u0259c\u0259kdi. \u00dc\u015f\u00fcd\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fc, qorxdu\u011fumu hiss etdim. Gec\u0259ni burada ke\u00e7irm\u0259k intihar olard\u0131. G\u00fcn\u0259\u015f g\u00f6zd\u0259n itdikc\u0259 k\u00fcl\u0259k m\u00f6hk\u0259ml\u0259nir, ip\u0259kd\u0259n inc\u0259 qanadlar\u0131m\u0131 titr\u0259dirdi. Ancaq ged\u0259 bilm\u0259zdim. Qanadlar\u0131m\u0131 g\u00fcl\u0259 sar\u0131b, g\u00f6zl\u0259rimi yumdum. \u00d6ls\u0259m bel\u0259 burada, sevdiyim g\u00fcl\u00fcn yan\u0131nda \u00f6l\u0259c\u0259kdim. Hava qaralanda, bir iki damla ya\u015f qanadlar\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. \u0130nanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 q\u0259lbi, onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ya\u015famam\u0131 ist\u0259yirdi. Qayal\u0131qdak\u0131 oyuqlardan birini g\u00f6st\u0259rdi, ora getm\u0259mi dey\u0259- dey\u0259. M\u0259n ora getdim. O, is\u0259 k\u00fcl\u0259kl\u0259 sava\u015fa- sava\u015fa oldu\u011fu yerd\u0259 m\u0259\u011frurca dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bir q\u0259d\u0259r onu izl\u0259dikd\u0259n sonra sevgic\u0259 yuxuya getdim…<\/span><\/p>\n

\u0130kinci g\u00fcn: G\u00f6zl\u0259rimi a\u00e7anda ilk onu- g\u00fcn\u0259\u015f\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259y\u0259n l\u0259\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259rini g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Ya\u015famaq n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r g\u00f6z\u0259ldi, sevm\u0259k n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r g\u00f6z\u0259l… q\u0259lbim minl\u0259rc\u0259 mahn\u0131n\u0131 eyni anda oxuyur, qanadlar\u0131m onun qoxusu il\u0259 nurlan\u0131rd\u0131. Yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131m ona, ba\u015f\u0131na doland\u0131m d\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rc\u0259. Ona sevgilim dedim ilk d\u0259f\u0259, sonra d\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rc\u0259 t\u0259krarlad\u0131m bu ilahi s\u00f6z\u00fc. Hekay\u0259l\u0259r anlatd\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259. O, da bir ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcnd\u00fc g\u0259lmi\u015fdi d\u00fcnyaya, ancaq m\u0259nd\u0259n f\u0259rqli olaraq gec\u0259 yar\u0131s\u0131. Qaranl\u0131\u011f\u0131n ba\u011fr\u0131n\u0131 yar\u0131b, g\u00fcn\u0259\u015fd\u0259n \u00f6nc\u0259 do\u011fmu\u015fdu d\u00fcnyam\u0131za…<\/span><\/p>\n

Bura onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00e7ox t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259li idi. H\u0259r an, h\u0259r d\u0259qiq\u0259 bir f\u0131rt\u0131na k\u00f6k\u00fcnd\u0259n qopar\u0131b, bir bilinm\u0259z\u0259 do\u011fru apara bil\u0259rdi. Bir an q\u0259lbim titr\u0259di, qorxu- ayr\u0131l\u0131q, itirm\u0259k qorxusu kimi duyqular\u0131 ilikl\u0259rim\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r duydum. M\u0259n u\u00e7a, uzaqla\u015fa bilirdim. O, is\u0259 m\u0259hkumdu oldu\u011fu yer\u0259, ba\u015fqa yer\u0259 gets\u0259 solar, ya\u015faya bilm\u0259zdi. Bir damla ya\u015f g\u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n ayr\u0131l\u0131b, a\u015fa\u011f\u0131ya- \u00e7aya do\u011fu d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. \u00c7aya qar\u0131\u015fa bil\u0259c\u0259kdimi, qar\u0131\u015fsa bel\u0259… \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc \u00e7ox aciz hiss etdim bir an, m\u0259n d\u0259 bu d\u00fcnyada bax bu q\u0259d\u0259r ki\u00e7ik, bu q\u0259d\u0259r \u00e7ar\u0259siz idim..<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c Get\u201d- dedi- \u201c get, sevgilim\u201d- m\u0259ni yan\u0131ndan qovmurdu, sad\u0259c\u0259 m\u0259nim yolumu g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259n \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259r vard\u0131, onlar\u0131n mayalanmas\u0131na yard\u0131m etm\u0259liydim. Bu \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcnl\u00fck d\u00fcnyaya sad\u0259c\u0259 e\u015fq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn g\u0259lm\u0259mi\u015fdim. Bir \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259yin meyv\u0259 olmas\u0131na yard\u0131m ed\u0259c\u0259m. Sonra m\u0259n \u00f6l\u0259c\u0259m, ancaq o meyv\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259c\u0259k. G\u00fcn\u0259\u015fin do\u011fu\u015funu, qaranl\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rc\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259kdi. Daha sonra o meyv\u0259ni kims\u0259 dadacaq m\u0259nim \u0259m\u0259yim yen\u0259 ya\u015fayacaq. Y\u0259ni m\u0259n \u00f6ls\u0259m d\u0259, m\u0259nd\u0259n qalan xatir\u0259 itm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k, d\u00fcnya var oldquca d\u00f6vr ed\u0259c\u0259kdi. Onun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn u\u00e7dum, \u00e7oxlu \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259rin \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259n ke\u00e7ib, v\u0259zif\u0259mi yerin\u0259 yetirdim. U\u015faqlar m\u0259ni tutmaq ist\u0259di, bir t\u0259h\u0259r can\u0131m\u0131 xilas el\u0259dim. Dem\u0259k insan o\u011flu \u00f6z \u00f6vlad\u0131n\u0131 y\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 heyvan kimi b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fcr, el\u0259 olmasayd\u0131 h\u0259yat alma\u011f\u0131 \u0259yl\u0259nc\u0259 olaraq g\u00f6rm\u0259zdi. U\u00e7dum, \u00e7oxlu dost tapd\u0131m \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259rin \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259n ke\u00e7\u0259rk\u0259n, ancaq m\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259n onlar\u0131n bu \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcnl\u00fck d\u00fcnyan\u0131 he\u00e7 \u00f6lm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k kimi ya\u015famalar\u0131 idi. G\u00fcn \u0259rzind\u0259 onlarca \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259yin \u00fcz\u0259rin\u0259 qonub, e\u015fq n\u0259\u011fm\u0259l\u0259ri oxudular. Bax, bunu anlaya bilmirdim m\u0259n- sevgi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yarad\u0131lan m\u0259n. Onlar e\u015fqbazl\u0131q ed\u0259rk\u0259n m\u0259n sad\u0259c\u0259 ax\u015fam\u0131- sevdiyim, da\u011f g\u00fcl\u00fcm\u0259 qovu\u015faca\u011f\u0131m zaman\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259yiridim. Nec\u0259 dar\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m, ka\u015f gec\u0259l\u0259r sabahacan onunla d\u0259rdl\u0259\u015f\u0259 bil\u0259ydim, ancaq olmaz, yatmasam yox olaram. Bax budur… G\u00fcn\u0259\u015f g\u00f6y \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259 ilan kimi s\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcr, qar\u015f\u0131dak\u0131 da\u011flara t\u0259r\u0259f. M\u0259n h\u0259yacanla qayal\u0131qalara, sevgilim\u0259 do\u011fru qanad \u00e7at\u0131ram. Yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131qca k\u00fcl\u0259k g\u00fcl\u00fcm\u00fcn qoxusunu m\u0259n\u0259 g\u0259tirir, balaca q\u0259lbim h\u0259yacanla d\u00f6y\u00fcn\u00fcr. G\u0259lib yan\u0131na qonuram, \u201c ah bu d\u0259 n\u0259dir, n\u0259l\u0259r olub m\u0259nim g\u00fcl\u00fcm\u0259\u201d \u2013 l\u0259\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259rind\u0259n biri yer\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb, dig\u0259rl\u0259ri is\u0259 solub. G\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131ma \u0259ng\u0259l ola bilmir\u0259m, onu el\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fckd\u0259. T\u0259s\u0259lli verir m\u0259n\u0259, ay \u00fczl\u00fcm. Dem\u0259k g\u00fcnortaya yax\u0131n m\u00f6hk\u0259m bir k\u00fcl\u0259k \u0259sib. Narin l\u0259\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259ri bu z\u0259rb\u0259y\u0259 davam g\u0259tir\u0259 bilm\u0259yib…<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201c A\u011flama, sevgilim v\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fclm\u0259. Bu g\u00fcn ayr\u0131l\u0131\u011fa sabah is\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcm\u0259. Biz \u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259l \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131q bu q\u0131sa h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131. Sevdik, he\u00e7 toxunmad\u0131q sevdan\u0131n \u015f\u0259r\u0259fin\u0259. M\u0259n bu sabah g\u00fcn\u0259\u015fi g\u00f6r\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m, ancaq s\u0259n bir g\u00fcn\u0259\u015f art\u0131q ya\u015fayacaqsan sevgilim. A\u00e7an h\u0259r g\u00fcl, u\u00e7an h\u0259r k\u0259p\u0259n\u0259k bizim sevdam\u0131zdan dan\u0131\u015facaq\u201d- deyib,\u00a0 m\u0259ni yan\u0131na, yax\u0131n\u0131na \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. Sar\u0131l\u0131b doyunca a\u011flad\u0131q, sonra g\u00fcld\u00fck sevgimiz\u0259, g\u00fcld\u00fck sevgi kimi ke\u00e7\u0259n \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u00fcz\u0259. \u0130ndi g\u00fcn\u0259\u015f g\u00f6rs\u0259nmirdi s\u0259mada, k\u00fcl\u0259l d\u0259 yoxdu… sakitlikdi. Dem\u0259k bu son gec\u0259sind\u0259 sevgilim\u0259 sar\u0131l\u0131b yata bil\u0259c\u0259kdim. G\u00f6z qapaqlar\u0131mla m\u00fcbariz\u0259 apar\u0131r, ad\u0259ta sava\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. Onunla ke\u00e7\u0259n h\u0259r an\u0131 yadda\u015f\u0131ma, \u00fcr\u0259yim\u0259 yazmaq ist\u0259yirdim, yaz\u0131rd\u0131m. \u00c7ay\u0131n s\u0259si layla dedi m\u0259n\u0259, ona- sevgimiz\u0259. M\u0259n yatd\u0131m, o, \u00f6ld\u00fc sevgimiz \u00f6l\u00fcms\u00fcz oldu o gec\u0259….<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00dc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc g\u00fcn: \u201c Bu g\u00fcn ayr\u0131l\u0131\u011fa, sabah is\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcm\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fclm\u0259 \u201c- demi\u015fdi, ancaq \u00f6l\u00fcm ayr\u0131l\u0131qdan \u00f6nc\u0259 g\u0259ldi. \u00c7ox q\u0259rib\u0259 deyilmi, t\u0259rk edib ged\u0259n sevgili, \u00f6l\u0259nd\u0259n daha \u00e7ox ac\u0131d\u0131r can\u0131m\u0131z\u0131. \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fc ayr\u0131l\u0131qdan hesab etmirik…<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Bu g\u00fcn h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131n son g\u00fcn\u00fcd\u00fcr, ancaq d\u00fcn\u0259n m\u0259nim d\u0259 onunla \u00f6lm\u0259mi \u00e7ox ist\u0259rdim. Bu son g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fc onsuz ya\u015fama\u011fa m\u0259hkum etdi m\u0259ni h\u0259yat. N\u0259 olsun ki, o, yoxdu- \u00f6ld\u00fc. \u0130ndi m\u0259n sad\u0259c\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc yox, sevgimizi- onu da ya\u015famal\u0131yam. Bax bunun \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn ya\u015famal\u0131yam, ya\u015fayacam. Onu o q\u0259d\u0259r \u00e7ox sevdim ki, n\u0259 onun, n\u0259 sevgimizin unudulmas\u0131n\u0131 ist\u0259mir\u0259m. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 bir d\u0259lilik ed\u0259c\u0259m, h\u0259mcinsl\u0259rimin he\u00e7 vaxt etm\u0259diyi bir d\u0259lilik. G\u00fcn bat\u0131m\u0131na bir ne\u00e7\u0259 saat qalm\u0131\u015f ya\u015fad\u0131qlar\u0131m\u0131 yazacam. B\u0259li, s\u0259hv e\u015fitm\u0259diz yazacam v\u0259 bir insan q\u0259lbin\u0259 g\u00f6nd\u0259r\u0259c\u0259m, ancaq ax\u015fama h\u0259l\u0259 \u00e7ox var v\u0259 m\u0259n ya\u015famal\u0131yam….<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Yenid\u0259n u\u00e7ma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. Tarlalar\u0131n, ba\u011flar\u0131n \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259n. Yen\u0259 \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259rin mayalanmas\u0131nda onlara yard\u0131mc\u0131 oldum, yen\u0259 bir \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259yin \u00fcz\u0259rin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n \u015fehd\u0259n doyunca i\u00e7dim. G\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fcm- d\u00fcnyaya bir k\u0259p\u0259n\u0259k olaraq g\u0259lmi\u015fdim, ancaq d\u00fcnyadan k\u00f6\u00e7\u0259rk\u0259n h\u0259m k\u0259p\u0259n\u0259k, h\u0259m g\u00fcl olaraq k\u00f6\u00e7\u0259c\u0259kdim. Bu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r u\u00e7du\u011fumu bilmir\u0259m, bird\u0259n yerd\u0259 boynu q\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, ancaq solmam\u0131\u015f- h\u0259l\u0259 h\u0259yatda olan bir \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259k g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. N\u0259s\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yimin s\u0131zlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, can\u0131m\u0131n yand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hiss edib, sakitc\u0259 yer\u0259- yan\u0131na endim. G\u00f6z\u0259l bir \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259kdi. D\u00fcnyaya g\u0259ldiyi gec\u0259nin sabah\u0131 v\u0259h\u015fi heyvanlardan birinin ayaqlar\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131nda qal\u0131b \u0259zilmi\u015fdi. Onu bu hal\u0131 il\u0259 kims\u0259 b\u0259y\u0259nib, sevmirdi, ancaq o, sevm\u0259k, sevilm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi. G\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131 il\u0259 islatd\u0131 qanadlar\u0131m\u0131, balaca \u00fcr\u0259yim parampar\u00e7a olmu\u015fdu. Bu h\u0259yatda bir a\u011flayan\u0131n g\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sil\u0259 bilm\u0259dikd\u0259n sonra niy\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131r\u0131q ki?! G\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131m\u0131 r\u00fczgarla silib, havaya qalxd\u0131m. Onun ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 e\u015fq u\u00e7u\u015flar\u0131 el\u0259dim \u00e7oxlu. \u201c M\u0259n s\u0259ni sevir\u0259m, s\u0259n\u0259 vuruldum- a\u015fiq oldum. El\u0259 olmasayd\u0131 s\u0259n\u0259 do\u011fru u\u00e7ard\u0131mm\u0131, he\u00e7\u201d \u2013 dedim. Dedim, dem\u0259sin\u0259 d\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 inanm\u0131rd\u0131, inana bilmirdi, ancaq b\u00fct\u00fcn q\u0259lbi il\u0259 inanmaq ist\u0259diyini d\u0259 biliridim. \u00d6mr\u00fcm\u00fcn geri qalan\u0131nda n\u0259l\u0259r ed\u0259c\u0259yimi daha biliridim. Bu g\u00fcl\u0259 sevgi il\u0259 yana\u015facaq, h\u0259yatdan sevgisiz getm\u0259sin\u0259 izn verm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdim. N\u0259\u011fm\u0259l\u0259r s\u00f6yl\u0259dim ona uzaq g\u00fcl\u0259rd\u0259n, efsan\u0259 olan sevdalardan.\u00a0 N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r g\u00f6z\u0259l oldu\u011funu, nec\u0259 \u0259tir sa\u00e7d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlatd\u0131m ona. Onun yaral\u0131 q\u0259lbininin sevgi il\u0259 sa\u011fald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fckc\u0259, \u00f6z ac\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131n da dindiyini hiss edirdim. B\u0259li, indi o, inan\u0131rd\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259. A\u015fiq\u00a0 olmu\u015fdu. Ona baxd\u0131qca da\u011f g\u00fcl\u00fcm\u00fcn m\u0259n\u0259 bax\u0131b, g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259diyini g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcm, sanki. Zaman yava\u015f- yava\u015f ax\u0131b gedirdi v\u0259 ged\u0259rk\u0259n bizi d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fc il\u0259 bir bilinm\u0259zliy\u0259 do\u011fru s\u00fcr\u00fckl\u0259yirdi. M\u0259n \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc da\u011f g\u00fcl\u00fcm\u00fcn bitdiyi yerd\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131lamaq ist\u0259yirdim, ancaq bu yaral\u0131 \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259yin d\u0259 \u00e7ox \u00f6mr\u00fc yoxdu. Onu t\u0259rk el\u0259m\u0259k bu q\u0259d\u0259r \u0259m\u0259yin bo\u015funa getm\u0259si, tikdiyim yuvan\u0131 \u00f6z \u0259ll\u0259riml\u0259 u\u00e7urmaq olard\u0131. N\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259kdim, he\u00e7n\u0259 bilmirdim. G\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131ma \u0259ng\u0259l ola bilmirdim. El\u0259 bu an bir m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259 ba\u015f verdi, g\u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n axan ya\u015flar onun yaras\u0131na damlam\u0131\u015f v\u0259 sa\u011faltm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 onu. G\u00fclms\u0259di, m\u0259n\u0259 baxaraq v\u0259 \u201c get, get sevdiyin\u0259 \u201c \u2013 dedi. He\u00e7 n\u0259 dem\u0259d\u0259n havaya qalx\u0131b, qayal\u0131qlara do\u011fru u\u00e7ma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. \u0130ndi o, yaral\u0131 deyildi v\u0259 \u00f6lm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi. M\u00fctl\u0259q h\u0259qiqi sevgini tapacaq v\u0259 xo\u015fb\u0259xt olacaqd\u0131. Qayal\u0131qlara\u00a0 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 art\u0131q g\u00fcn\u0259\u015fin batmas\u0131na \u00e7ox az qal\u0131rd\u0131. G\u00fcnd\u0259liyimi- ya\u015fad\u0131qlar\u0131m\u0131 yazma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. G\u00fcn\u0259\u015f da\u011flar\u0131n arxas\u0131nda g\u00f6zd\u0259n it\u0259nd\u0259, g\u00fcnd\u0259lik yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f v\u0259 aid oldu\u011fu yer\u0259 do\u011fru yola \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Bu g\u00fcn tez yatmal\u0131yam, \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc yuxuda qar\u015f\u0131lamaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m, yuxuda…<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Yaz\u0131ya 1429 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00dc\u00e7 g\u00fcnl\u00fck d\u00fcnyad\u0131. D\u00fcn\u0259n m\u0259n vard\u0131m, s\u0259n d\u0259 vard\u0131n. Bu g\u00fcn m\u0259n varam, s\u0259n yoxsan. Sabah is\u0259 n\u0259 m\u0259n olacam, n\u0259 d\u0259 s\u0259n… \u00dc\u00e7 n\u0259f\u0259slik d\u00fcnyad\u0131, he\u00e7 bir n\u0259f\u0259sin\u0259 hakim ola bilm\u0259diyimiz, bir n\u0259f\u0259si bel\u0259 bizim olmayan. Bir damla g\u00f6z ya\u015f\u0131m\u0131z bel\u0259 bizim olmazk\u0259n, bir- birimiz\u0259 sahib ola bilm\u0259zdik. Bu g\u00fcn ayr\u0131l\u0131\u011fa, sabah is\u0259 \u00f6l\u00fcm\u0259 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6746,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8256"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8256"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8256\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8257,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8256\/revisions\/8257"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6746"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8256"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8256"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8256"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}