{"id":9696,"date":"2015-10-16T15:11:07","date_gmt":"2015-10-16T10:11:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=9696"},"modified":"2015-10-16T15:11:07","modified_gmt":"2015-10-16T10:11:07","slug":"irad%c9%99-aytel-fahis%c9%99-m%c9%99l%c9%99k","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/?p=9696","title":{"rendered":"\u0130rad\u0259 Aytel – Fahi\u015f\u0259 m\u0259l\u0259k"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"aytel\"<\/a>(hekay\u0259)<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

On-on iki ya\u015fl\u0131 bir u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n siqaret \u00e7\u0259km\u0259si \u0259slind\u0259 ikrah hissi do\u011fururdu. Amma q\u0259rib\u0259 idi ki, ham\u0131n\u0131n nifr\u0259tl\u0259 baxd\u0131\u011f\u0131, iyr\u0259ndiyi bu pinti, yalan\u00e7\u0131, a\u011f\u0131ls\u0131z, \u00e7irkin, kobud, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc apara bilm\u0259y\u0259n, h\u0259m d\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u00fc-ki\u00e7ikli ham\u0131ya \u0259l a\u00e7an, dil\u0259n\u0259n bu \u201co\u011flan\u201d u\u015fa\u011f\u0131ndan m\u0259nim z\u0259hl\u0259m getmirdi. Onu dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131rmaqdan, n\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc, nec\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, n\u0259l\u0259r etdiyini bilm\u0259kd\u0259n \u00e7ox z\u00f6vq al\u0131rd\u0131m.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

O, yeniyetm\u0259 ya\u015flar\u0131na \u00e7atanda, m\u0259lum oldu ki, \u0259slind\u0259 ham\u0131n\u0131n o\u011flan kimi tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu dil\u0259n\u00e7i q\u0131z imi\u015f. Q\u0259rib\u0259 idi ki, o, h\u0259r v\u0259chl\u0259 q\u0131z oldu\u011funu gizl\u0259dirdi. Ac\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u0259lirdi ona “ay q\u0131z” dey\u0259nd\u0259.
\nMaraql\u0131 q\u0131z idi Sevinc. He\u00e7 k\u0259sd\u0259n qorxmurdu. \u018fslind\u0259 k\u00f6rp\u0259likd\u0259n \u00fcz\u00fc \u00fczl\u0259r g\u00f6r\u0259n bu q\u0131zc\u0131\u011faz bel\u0259 d\u0259 olmal\u0131 idi. H\u0259l\u0259 bu ya\u015f\u0131nda m\u0259n ona h\u0259m d\u0259 d\u00fcnyag\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f deyirdim. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u00fcnyag\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f ki, Sevinc bazar adam\u0131ndan tutmu\u015f, ziyal\u0131ya q\u0259d\u0259r m\u00fcxt\u0259lif adamlar\u0131n \u0259hat\u0259sind\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fcrd\u00fc v\u0259 ham\u0131yla da dil tapa bilirdi. Adamlar ondan z\u0259hl\u0259l\u0259ri gets\u0259 d\u0259 q\u0259bul edir, h\u0259tta \u0259l tuturdular. B\u0259z\u0259n bu \u0259l tutmalar Sevincin h\u0259yas\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131 bahas\u0131na ba\u015fa g\u0259ls\u0259 d\u0259, ona ist\u0259y\u0259r\u0259kd\u0259n \u0259l tutanlar da az deyildi.
\nM\u0259nd\u0259n pul ist\u0259m\u0259zdi he\u00e7 vaxt. Bilirdi ki, \u00f6z\u00fcm verir\u0259m. H\u0259rd\u0259n d\u0259rdini d\u0259 m\u0259niml\u0259 b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 anas\u0131n\u0131n \u015f\u0259klini d\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259rmi\u015fdi. El\u0259 anas\u0131na ox\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131. Qarayan\u0131z, q\u0131vr\u0131msa\u00e7l\u0131, bir az da ki\u015fiy\u0259 m\u0259xsus kobud g\u00f6rk\u0259mli.
\nSevinc deyirdi ki, ata-anas\u0131 r\u0259hm\u0259t\u0259 gedib. O, m\u0259cbur\u0259n xalas\u0131 il\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131r v\u0259 xalas\u0131 h\u0259r gec\u0259 ondan pul soru\u015fur. \u0130st\u0259yir qazans\u0131n, ist\u0259yir d\u0259 qazanmas\u0131n. Lap ac qals\u0131n, amma pul g\u0259tirsin ev\u0259.\u00a0 Sevinc d\u0259 be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131ndan pul qazanma\u011fa \u00f6yr\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdi. Qazan\u0131rd\u0131.
\nDes\u0259m ki, Sevinc h\u0259m d\u0259 a\u011f\u0131ll\u0131 q\u0131z idi,\u00a0 inanmazs\u0131n\u0131z. Onun bir d\u0259f\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259diyi s\u00f6hb\u0259td\u0259n bu q\u0259na\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015f\u0259m.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 O, m\u0259n\u0259 dedi:
\n– S\u0259n m\u0259nim yan\u0131mdak\u0131 q\u0131z\u0131 tan\u0131y\u0131rsan?
\nDedim:
\n– Sevinc, hans\u0131 q\u0131z\u0131, o qarayan\u0131z g\u00f6y\u00e7\u0259k q\u0131z\u0131?
\n– H\u0259, onu deyir\u0259m. Bax, (\u0259lini bizd\u0259n bir az aral\u0131dak\u0131 skamyada \u0259yl\u0259\u015f\u0259n qocaya uzatd\u0131) h\u0259min o g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcn ki\u015fi, onu h\u0259r g\u00fcn apar\u0131r, bir manat verir.
\nSevincin haqq\u0131nda dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131 q\u0131z\u0131n on be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131 olard\u0131. O da Sevincl\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259r \u015f\u0259h\u0259r \u0259halisin\u0259 \u0259l a\u00e7\u0131r, \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k pulu qazan\u0131rd\u0131. Do\u011frusu, m\u0259nim ona heyfim g\u0259lirdi. O g\u00f6z\u0259l q\u0131z yenic\u0259 h\u0259ddi-bulu\u011fa \u00e7atm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Qara iri g\u00f6zl\u0259ri, d\u00fcz sa\u00e7lar\u0131, yumru dodaqlar\u0131, m\u00fct\u0259nasib boy-buxunu vard\u0131. Sevincd\u0259n f\u0259rqli olaraq bu q\u0131z\u0131n mehribanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 tez n\u0259z\u0259r\u0259 \u00e7arp\u0131rd\u0131.
\nSevincin ni\u015fan verdiyi ki\u015finin \u0259n az\u0131 altm\u0131\u015f ya\u015f\u0131 olard\u0131. \u00c7ox g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm h\u0259min adam\u0131 bu parkda. Onu da deyim ki, m\u0259nim i\u015f yerim park\u0131n yax\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda oldu\u011fundan park “sakinl\u0259rini”, g\u0259l\u0259n qonaqlar\u0131 tan\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131m. \u00dcz\u00fc \u00e7opur-\u00e7opur, qulaqlar\u0131, burnu q\u0131p-q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 olan qocan\u0131n a\u011fz\u0131nda c\u0259mi iki, ya \u00fc\u00e7 di\u015fi olard\u0131. \u00c7ox vaxt da burada, el\u0259 h\u0259min skamyada \u0259yl\u0259\u015f\u0259rdi. \u018fvv\u0259ll\u0259r m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, bu qoca t\u0259nhal\u0131qdanm\u0131, yaxud hava almaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn g\u0259lir parka. Sevinc\u0259 dedim:
\n– Yax\u015f\u0131 adamd\u0131r da q\u0131za \u0259l tutur.
\nM\u0259nim s\u00f6z\u00fcm Sevinc\u0259 \u0259m\u0259llic\u0259 t\u0259sir el\u0259di:
\n– B\u0259s m\u0259n\u0259 niy\u0259 \u0259l tutmur? – dey\u0259r\u0259k s\u0259sini ucaltd\u0131.
\n– B\u0259lk\u0259 s\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc onun yan\u0131nda pis aparm\u0131san\u2026 – dedim. \u018fslind\u0259, \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259d\u0259n a\u011fl\u0131ma g\u0259l\u0259ni dem\u0259kd\u0259n \u00e7\u0259kinirdim. \u00c7\u00fcnki, bu \u00e7ox iyr\u0259nc bir fikir idi. H\u0259r v\u0259chl\u0259 h\u0259min fikri a\u011fl\u0131mdan \u00e7\u0131xarma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m.
\nSevinc dedi:
\n– O qoca ki\u015fi h\u0259r g\u00fcn q\u0131z\u0131 gizlin yer\u0259 apar\u0131r.
\n– Hara? – s\u0259sim h\u0259y\u0259candan titr\u0259yirdi.
\n– Bax o yuxar\u0131dak\u0131 kollu\u011fa.
\n– Ay Sevinc, a\u011fl\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259ni dan\u0131\u015fma. O qoca ki\u015fidir, h\u0259m d\u0259 bura polisl\u0259r n\u0259zar\u0259t edir , – dedim.
\n– Polis olmayanda apar\u0131r. Amma bilirs\u0259n, m\u0259n pula g\u00f6r\u0259 el\u0259 etm\u0259r\u0259m.
\nBax, onda bildim ki, Sevinc a\u011f\u0131ll\u0131d\u0131r. O biri q\u0131z\u0131 da h\u0259min g\u00fcnd\u0259n sonra \u00e7ox g\u0259zdim ba\u015fa sal\u0131m ki, g\u00f6z\u0259ls\u0259n, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc heyif el\u0259m\u0259, lakin tapmad\u0131m. Sevincin dediyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 q\u0131z harasa, ba\u015fqa \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 getmi\u015fdi.
\nAradan bir ne\u00e7\u0259 il ke\u00e7mi\u015fdi. \u0130\u015f yerimi d\u0259yi\u015fmi\u015fdim. M\u0259nim n\u0259 Sevincl\u0259, n\u0259 d\u0259 park “sakinl\u0259ri” il\u0259 he\u00e7 bir \u0259laq\u0259m yox idi. T\u0259sad\u00fcf\u0259n yolum h\u0259min parka d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. El\u0259 yenic\u0259 skamyada \u0259yl\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdim ki, uzun xalat, \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259n d\u0259 qal\u0131n jilet geyin\u0259n bir qad\u0131n m\u0259n\u0259 yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131. \u00dcst-ba\u015f\u0131ndan dil\u0259n\u00e7ilikl\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011ful oldu\u011fu g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u0259n bu qad\u0131n\u0131n bel\u0259 isti havada qal\u0131n paltarda olmas\u0131 m\u0259nd\u0259 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb do\u011furdu.
\n– Pul ver d\u0259\u0259\u0259…
\nS\u0259si tan\u0131\u015f g\u0259ldi. Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 qald\u0131r\u0131b \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 baxd\u0131m. Sevinc idi. Amma onun \u00e7\u00f6hr\u0259sind\u0259ki yalan\u00e7\u0131, a\u011f\u0131ls\u0131z, \u00e7irkin, kobud, g\u00f6rk\u0259md\u0259n \u0259s\u0259r-\u0259lam\u0259t qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Sanki qar\u015f\u0131mda bir m\u0259l\u0259k dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. M\u0259n heyranl\u0131qla o m\u0259l\u0259y\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131m. O m\u0259l\u0259yin \u00e7\u00f6hr\u0259sind\u0259ki nur birc\u0259 anda b\u00fct\u00fcn park\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131na g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. M\u0259l\u0259kl\u0259rin insan cildin\u0259 girm\u0259sini bu ya\u015f\u0131ma q\u0259d\u0259r bel\u0259 yax\u0131ndan m\u00fc\u015fahid\u0259 etm\u0259mi\u015fdim. H\u0259m d\u0259 h\u0259s\u0259dl\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131m o m\u0259l\u0259y\u0259. M\u0259ni o m\u0259l\u0259kd\u0259n el\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn s\u0259si ay\u0131ltd\u0131:
\n– N\u0259 oldu, pul vermirs\u0259n?
\n– Sevinc, nec\u0259s\u0259n? M\u0259ni tan\u0131d\u0131n? – dedim.
\nDedi:
\n– Ey, tan\u0131d\u0131m, pul ver.
\n\u018flimi \u00e7antama atanda ist\u0259r-ist\u0259m\u0259z onu ba\u015fdan-aya\u011fa s\u00fczd\u00fcm. Sevinc hamil\u0259 idi. \u00d6z\u00fcmd\u0259n as\u0131l\u0131 olmayaraq dedim:
\n– Sevinc, s\u0259n hamil\u0259s\u0259n?
\n– Ey, pul vermirs\u0259n he\u00e7 verm\u0259, – dey\u0259r\u0259k t\u0259l\u0259sik oradan uzaqla\u015fan Sevincin ard\u0131nca – Allah dardan qurtars\u0131n, – dedim.
\nArxaya d\u00f6nd\u00fc, hirsli-hirsli m\u0259n\u0259 baxaraq dedi:
\n– He\u00e7 qurtarmas\u0131n!
\nOnun m\u0259n\u0259 bel\u0259 hirsl\u0259nm\u0259si, kobudluq el\u0259m\u0259si, m\u0259ni \u00e7a\u015f-ba\u015f salm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Bilirdim ki, Sevincin n\u0259 is\u0259 d\u0259rdi var. Anlay\u0131rd\u0131m ki, \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 qonan, \u00e7\u00f6hr\u0259sini nurland\u0131ran, m\u0259ni ovsunlayan o m\u0259l\u0259k Sevincin daxilind\u0259 bir f\u0131rt\u0131na yarad\u0131b.
\nEvim\u0259 d\u00f6ns\u0259m d\u0259 Sevinc g\u00f6zl\u0259rimin \u00f6n\u00fcnd\u0259n bir an da olsa getmirdi. Bir yandan ona hirsl\u0259nir. Bir yandan ac\u0131y\u0131r, bir yandan da \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259ki nuru, o m\u0259l\u0259k simas\u0131n\u0131 bir d\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim.<\/p>\n

S\u0259h\u0259r eyni vaxtda h\u0259min parka yolland\u0131m. Sakit bir skamya tap\u0131b \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdim. G\u00f6zl\u0259rim Sevinci g\u0259zirdi. T\u0259xmin\u0259n bir saatdan sonra yax\u0131nl\u0131qdak\u0131 qad\u0131nlar\u0131n s\u0259sini e\u015fitdim:<\/p>\n

– Aaz, get dana, qarn\u0131na u\u015faq yerl\u0259\u015fdirdiyin\u0259, s\u00fcp\u00fcrg\u0259\u00e7ilik edib qazanayd\u0131n…<\/p>\n

S\u0259s\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f d\u00f6n\u0259nd\u0259 Sevincin m\u0259n\u0259 baxd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Onu g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fc hiss ed\u0259n kimi oradan uzaqla\u015fd\u0131. G\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259yimin yersiz oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcb geri d\u00f6nd\u00fcm. Lakin evd\u0259 he\u00e7 c\u00fcr q\u0259rar tuta bilmirdim. \u0130\u00e7imd\u0259 hans\u0131sa s\u0259s \u201cS\u0259n Sevinc\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259k etm\u0259lis\u0259n\u201d \u2013 dey\u0259 m\u0259ni durmadan d\u00fcms\u00fckl\u0259yirdi. Gec\u0259ni zorla yuxuya getdim. Yuxuda Sevinci g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Ayaqlar\u0131 qan i\u00e7ind\u0259 idi. \u00dcz\u00fcnd\u0259ki m\u0259l\u0259k m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 q\u0131naqla bax\u0131rd\u0131 ki, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n z\u0259hl\u0259m gedirdi…<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015f\u0259 getm\u0259mi\u015fd\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l birba\u015fa parka yolland\u0131m. Sevincin ba\u015f\u0131 masan\u0131n \u0259traf\u0131nda \u0259yl\u0259\u015f\u0259n \u00fc\u00e7 o\u011flan, bir q\u0131za qar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Onlar n\u0259 bar\u0259d\u0259s\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r, Sevinc\u0259 bax\u0131b q\u0259hq\u0259h\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kirdil\u0259r. Sevinc is\u0259 \u0259lini bayaqdan \u0259li cibind\u0259 olan o\u011flana t\u0259r\u0259f uzad\u0131b g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi.<\/p>\n

Onlara yax\u0131n bir masada \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdim.<\/p>\n

– Ay Sevinc! – S\u0259sim\u0259 ger\u0131 \u00e7evrildi. Cavanlar da t\u0259\u0259c\u00fcbl\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 baxd\u0131lar ki, dil\u0259n\u00e7inin ad\u0131n\u0131 bu haradan bilir, niy\u0259 bilir… – Sevinc, g\u0259l otur yan\u0131mda.<\/p>\n

Bu s\u00f6z\u00fcm oradak\u0131lar\u0131 daha da t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndirdi. Sevinc is\u0259 bayaqdan b\u0259ri onu la\u011fa qoyan g\u0259ncl\u0259r\u0259 ac\u0131q verirmi\u015f kimi, geri \u00e7evrildi v\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259f g\u0259ldi.<\/p>\n

– Otur ay Sevinc, yaman istidi, otur s\u0259rin bir \u015fey i\u00e7\u0259k.<\/p>\n

Sevinc qorxa-qorxa \u0259traf\u0131na boyland\u0131 v\u0259 masan\u0131n yan\u0131ndak\u0131 stulu \u00e7\u0259kib oturdu. M\u0259n ortada h\u0259rl\u0259n\u0259n ofisiant\u0131 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131m. O, \u0259vv\u0259l dil\u0259n\u00e7inin m\u00fc\u015ft\u0259rid\u0259n pul ist\u0259diyini san\u0131b q\u0131za hirsli-hirsli bax\u0131nca, m\u0259n \u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc Sevinc\u0259 tutdum:<\/p>\n

Sevinc, n\u0259 i\u00e7\u0259k?<\/p>\n

Sevinc m\u0259mnun halda ofisianta dedi:<\/p>\n

– G\u00f6rd\u00fcn?<\/p>\n

– M\u0259n ofisianta s\u0259rin \u015fir\u0259 g\u0259tirm\u0259sini xahi\u015f el\u0259dim v\u0259 Sevinc\u0259, – S\u0259n d\u0259 ist\u0259diyini de, – dedim.<\/p>\n

– M\u0259n\u0259 d\u00f6n\u0259r g\u0259tir. \u2013 Bayaqdan b\u0259ri \u0259trafa yay\u0131lan d\u00f6n\u0259rin \u0259tri m\u0259ni d\u0259 vurmu\u015fdu. Ancaq bel\u0259 yerl\u0259rd\u0259 haz\u0131rlanan yem\u0259yi ist\u0259m\u0259dim.<\/p>\n

G\u00f6zl\u0259rim ya\u015farm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Hamil\u0259 qad\u0131n\u0131n yem\u0259k iyin\u0259 nec\u0259 h\u0259ssas oldu\u011funu bilirdim. H\u0259m d\u0259 o qad\u0131n\u0131n ki, \u00fcr\u0259yi ist\u0259diyini tapa, yey\u0259 bilmir. \u00dcst\u0259lik, Sevincin b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn\u00fc m\u00fcxt\u0259lif \u015firniyyatlar\u0131n, yem\u0259kl\u0259rin \u0259hat\u0259sind\u0259 oldu\u011funu, lakin toxuna bilm\u0259diyini d\u0259qiq bilirdim.<\/p>\n

M\u0259tl\u0259b\u0259 ke\u00e7m\u0259kd\u0259n qorxurdum. Qorxurdum ki, Sevinc yen\u0259 d\u0259 m\u0259nd\u0259n uzaqla\u015far. M\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, o, bu d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 gets\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259ki m\u0259l\u0259k m\u0259ni ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamayacaq. M\u00fcxt\u0259lif s\u00f6hb\u0259tl\u0259r ediridm. K\u00f6hn\u0259 i\u015f yerimd\u0259n, parkdak\u0131 adamlardan v\u0259 s. O da \u00f6z n\u00f6vb\u0259sind\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 ayr\u0131-ayr\u0131 mac\u0259ralar\u0131n\u0131 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Bird\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n as\u0131l\u0131 olmayaraq dedim:<\/p>\n

– Sevinc, xalan nec\u0259di?<\/p>\n

Bir anl\u0131q g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259 nifr\u0259t q\u0131\u011f\u0131lc\u0131mlar\u0131 \u00e7axna\u015fd\u0131. Xeyli susandan sonra dedi:<\/p>\n

– Xalam \u00f6ls\u00fcn, n\u0259t\u0259r olacaq, yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131. Onnan qalm\u0131ram daha.<\/p>\n

– B\u0259s kiminl\u0259 qal\u0131rsan? \u2013 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259 soru\u015fdum. V\u0259 eyni zamanda fikirl\u0259\u015fdim ki, y\u0259qin \u0259r\u0259 gedib. \u018fr evind\u0259di. B\u0259s niy\u0259 dil\u0259nir?..<\/p>\n

– T\u0259k qal\u0131ram, ev tutmu\u015fam.<\/p>\n

– B\u0259s niy\u0259, niy\u0259 xalangild\u0259 qalmad\u0131n?<\/p>\n

– Z\u0259hl\u0259m gedir onnan.<\/p>\n

Bildim ki, el\u0259 ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcnd\u00fcr m\u0259ni bir an da olsun sakit buraxmayan b\u00fct\u00fcn suallar\u0131n cavab\u0131 m\u0259hz burdan ba\u015flayacaq, odur ki, s\u0259brl\u0259 dedim:<\/p>\n

– Ay Sevinc, s\u0259n el\u0259 o vaxt da xalan\u0131 sevmirdin. Niy\u0259 ata-anan r\u0259hm\u0259t\u0259 ged\u0259nn\u0259n sonra u\u015faq evin\u0259 getm\u0259din.<\/p>\n

– O qoydu ki… qon\u015fular\u0131m\u0131z m\u0259ni \u0259vv\u0259l u\u015faq evin\u0259 g\u00f6nd\u0259rirdi. Xalam g\u0259ldi \u0259riz\u0259 yazd\u0131 ki, b\u0259s m\u0259n onun do\u011fma xalas\u0131yam, u\u015fa\u011fa \u00f6z\u00fcm baxacam. Evimizi sat\u0131b pulunu g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259nd\u0259n sonra m\u0259ni pul qazanma\u011fa g\u00f6nd\u0259rdi. \u00d6z\u00fc is\u0259 h\u0259r g\u00fcn bir ki\u015fi il\u0259 kefd\u0259 olur, ev\u0259 c\u00fcrb\u0259c\u00fcr q\u0131zlar, o\u011flanlar g\u0259tirirdi. H\u0259l\u0259 ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 ki\u015fil\u0259ri evd\u0259 qalanda m\u0259n zirz\u0259mid\u0259 yerd\u0259 yatm\u0131\u015fam.<\/p>\n

– \u00d6z\u00fcn ged\u0259rdin u\u015faq evin\u0259, qa\u00e7ard\u0131n…<\/p>\n

– M\u0259n\u0259 u\u015faq evinn\u0259n bilirs\u0259n n\u0259l\u0259r dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131… orda u\u015faqlar\u0131 d\u00f6y\u00fcrl\u0259r, ac saxlay\u0131rlar, yek\u0259 q\u0131zlar\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na oyun a\u00e7\u0131rlar… \u2013 Bu s\u00f6z\u00fc dey\u0259nd\u0259 duruxdu, oturanda ona mane olan qarn\u0131na baxd\u0131 v\u0259 susdu…<\/p>\n

S\u00f6hb\u0259tin \u0259sil m\u0259qam\u0131 idi. Dedim:<\/p>\n

– Sevinc ne\u00e7\u0259 ayl\u0131qd\u0131?<\/p>\n

Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 sald\u0131 v\u0259: – Bilmir\u0259m, – dedi.<\/p>\n

– Nec\u0259 y\u0259ni bilmirs\u0259n, h\u0259kim\u0259 getm\u0259mis\u0259n?<\/p>\n

– Ey, yox, n\u0259 h\u0259kim?<\/p>\n

– S\u0259ni h\u0259kim\u0259 apar\u0131m, Sevinc?<\/p>\n

– Yooox! \u2013 g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259 bir \u00fcmid par\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131, eyni zamanda qorxu g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n

– Sevinc, qorxma, – dedim, – h\u0259kim\u0259 getm\u0259yin vacibdi, g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m ki, art\u0131q b\u00f6y\u00fckd\u00fcr. H\u0259m d\u0259 bil\u0259rdik q\u0131zd\u0131, o\u011flan…<\/p>\n

– Eh, n\u0259 f\u0259rqi. Bir az susdu. \u0130lk d\u0259f\u0259 idi ki, Sevincin g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259 ya\u015f g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcm. G\u00f6zl\u0259rini kirli \u0259ll\u0259ri il\u0259 silib:<\/p>\n

– El\u0259 qorxuram… – dedi.<\/p>\n

– D\u0259li, n\u0259d\u0259n qorxursan. Bu b\u00fct\u00fcn qad\u0131nlar\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na g\u0259lir. Ham\u0131 do\u011fur daaa…<\/p>\n

– Yox, m\u0259n qorxuram, \u00f6lm\u0259kd\u0259n qorxuram. \u2013 g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 saxlaya bilmirdi. M\u0259n d\u0259 k\u00f6vr\u0259lmi\u015fdim. S\u00f6hb\u0259ti a\u00e7ma\u011f\u0131ma pe\u015fman olsam da, Sevinc\u0259 ba\u015fqa c\u00fcr yax\u0131nla\u015fa bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259yimi d\u0259 d\u0259rk edirdim. Ofisiant\u0131 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131b s\u00fcfr\u0259nin pulunu verdim v\u0259 aya\u011fa durdum. Sevinc d\u0259 qalxd\u0131. \u018ftrafdak\u0131lar\u0131n bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131 m\u0259ni bezdirirdi. Sanki, m\u0259nim Sevincl\u0259 bir masada \u0259yl\u0259\u015fm\u0259yim b\u00f6y\u00fck bir hadis\u0259 idi. Ham\u0131 diqq\u0259tini biz\u0259 y\u00f6n\u0259ltmi\u015fdi.<\/p>\n

Park\u0131n sakit gu\u015f\u0259sind\u0259 skamyada \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdik.<\/p>\n

Sevinc, ne\u00e7\u0259 ya\u015f\u0131n var? \u2013 soru\u015fdum.<\/p>\n

– On yeddi.<\/p>\n

O, m\u0259nim b\u00fct\u00fcn suallar\u0131ma sakitc\u0259 cavab verirdi.<\/p>\n

– B\u0259s, u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n atas\u0131 kimdi?<\/p>\n

– Bilmir\u0259m. \u2013 Cavab q\u0131sa oldu.<\/p>\n

– Ay Sevinc, nec\u0259 bilmirs\u0259n?<\/p>\n

Susdu. H\u0259r \u015fey m\u0259n\u0259 ayd\u0131n olsa da, onun bar\u0259sind\u0259 b\u00fct\u00fcn detallar\u0131 x\u0131rdal\u0131\u011f\u0131na q\u0259d\u0259r bilm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim.<\/p>\n

– Axi, s\u0259n niy\u0259 yox idin? Sanki yalvara-yalvara dedi bu s\u00f6zl\u0259ri.<\/p>\n

– Ay Sevinc, i\u015fim bel\u0259 t\u0259l\u0259b edirdi. Uzaqda idim.<\/p>\n

– H\u0259, ne\u00e7\u0259 ay s\u0259ni axtard\u0131m. Dedil\u0259r daha burda i\u015fl\u0259mirs\u0259n. Xalam m\u0259ni evd\u0259n qovandan sonra… \u2013 Yen\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259ri doldu. Dedim:<\/p>\n

– Bax, ay Sevinc, s\u0259nd\u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259m, m\u0259ni tan\u0131y\u0131rsan. \u00c7\u0259kinm\u0259, m\u0259n\u0259 h\u0259r \u015feyi dan\u0131\u015f. \u00c7al\u0131\u015facam s\u0259n\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259k edim.<\/p>\n

– Polisl\u0259rd\u0259n z\u0259hl\u0259m gedir… \u2013 Bu s\u00f6z yerin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259diyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ns\u0259m d\u0259 susdum. Bilirdim ki, Sevinc h\u0259r \u015feyi dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa haz\u0131rd\u0131r. \u2013 Xalam evd\u0259 m\u0259nd\u0259n pul t\u0259l\u0259b edirdi. Polisl\u0259r d\u0259 harda g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcs\u0259 qovurdular m\u0259ni. He\u00e7 k\u0259sd\u0259n pul alamm\u0131rd\u0131m. H\u0259r g\u00fcn xalam m\u0259ni s\u00f6y\u00fcrd\u00fc. Bir g\u00fcn d\u0259\u00a0 yenic\u0259 bir o\u011flan m\u0259n\u0259 pul verirdi ki, polisin s\u0259sini e\u015fitdim: \u201cS\u0259n\u0259 dem\u0259dim r\u0259dd ol burdan\u201d. Can\u0131m bo\u011faz\u0131ma y\u0131\u011f\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Dedim, \u00f6z\u00fcn r\u0259dd ol. Polis \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 el\u0259 bir \u015fill\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kdi ki, dodaqlar\u0131mdan axan qan \u00fcst\u00fcm\u0259 t\u00f6k\u00fcld\u00fc. A\u011flaya-a\u011flaya parkdan yola \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m. Yolun k\u0259nar\u0131nda bir ma\u015f\u0131n dayanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u0130\u00e7ind\u0259 d\u0259 iki n\u0259f\u0259r ki\u015fi. Biri m\u0259n\u0259 bax\u0131b dedi: \u201cN\u0259 olub, niy\u0259 a\u011flay\u0131rsan?\u201d cavab verm\u0259dim. \u018flini cibin\u0259 sal\u0131b be\u015flik \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131 v\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 uzatd\u0131. Fikirl\u0259\u015fdim ki, xalama ver\u0259r\u0259m, bu g\u00fcn m\u0259ni s\u00f6ym\u0259z. Pulu alanda o birisi ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131n p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259sind\u0259n m\u0259n\u0259 su uzatd\u0131. \u201cAl i\u00e7\u201d. Suyu da ald\u0131m v\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131ma qald\u0131rd\u0131m. Sonra ay\u0131ld\u0131m ki qaranl\u0131q d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr. Ayaqlar\u0131m qan i\u00e7ind\u0259 idi. H\u0259r yerim a\u011fr\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131, \u0259n \u00e7ox da qarn\u0131m\u0131n sanc\u0131s\u0131 m\u0259ni \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u018ftraf\u0131ma baxd\u0131m, he\u00e7 yer tan\u0131\u015f deyildi. Donumun \u0259t\u0259yin\u0259 d\u0259 iki d\u0259n\u0259 on manat at\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Birt\u0259h\u0259r aya\u011fa durdum, yax\u0131nl\u0131qdak\u0131 suda \u00fcst-ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 yudum. Yolun k\u0259nar\u0131na \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m. H\u0259rd\u0259n ma\u015f\u0131nlar g\u0259ls\u0259 d\u0259 he\u00e7 birisi dayanm\u0131rd\u0131. Bir avtobusa \u0259l qald\u0131randa saxlad\u0131.<\/p>\n

Xalam h\u0259min g\u00fcn yaman sevinirdi. \u0130yirmi be\u015f manat qazanc\u0131 vard\u0131 \u2013 Bu arada \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc saxlaya bilm\u0259dim, dedim:<\/p>\n

– Ay Sevinc, s\u0259n o ma\u015f\u0131ndak\u0131lar\u0131 tan\u0131mad\u0131n?<\/p>\n

– Yox, bura adam\u0131na ox\u015fam\u0131rd\u0131lar. Bak\u0131 dilind\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131lar.<\/p>\n

– B\u0259s ma\u015f\u0131nlar\u0131n\u0131?<\/p>\n

– Yox, ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131 da birinci d\u0259f\u0259 idi g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n

– B\u0259s niy\u0259 polis\u0259 getm\u0259din? Ax\u0131 onlar s\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259rman verib, zorlay\u0131blar, bilirs\u0259n bu n\u0259 dem\u0259kdi?<\/p>\n

– Eh polisl\u0259rd\u0259n z\u0259hl\u0259m gedir….<\/p>\n

– Xalana da dem\u0259din, Sevinc?<\/p>\n

– Yox dem\u0259dim. Qorxdum. Sonra bir g\u00fcn ev\u0259 d\u00f6n\u0259nd\u0259 xalam m\u0259n\u0259 yaman mehribanl\u0131q g\u00f6st\u0259rdi. Evd\u0259 d\u0259 yen\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259ki kimi yad ki\u015fi divana s\u0259r\u0259l\u0259nib oturmu\u015fdu. Xalam m\u0259n\u0259: \u201cGet \u00e7im, sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 dara\u201d, dedi. Ki\u015finin bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131ndan bilirdim ki, burada n\u0259s\u0259 var. Ke\u00e7dim hamama yuyundum. \u00c7\u0131xanda xalam evd\u0259 yox idi. Ki\u015fi domba g\u00f6zl\u0259ri il\u0259 m\u0259ni s\u00fczd\u00fc, qorxdum, tez xalam\u0131 soru\u015fdum. \u201cXalan getdi\u201d \u2013 dedi. \u00c7\u0131xmaq ist\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 ki\u015fi qap\u0131n\u0131 xalam\u0131n ba\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, a\u00e7ar\u0131 da \u00f6z\u00fc il\u0259 apard\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yl\u0259di. Tir-tir \u0259sirdim. Evd\u0259n qa\u00e7ma\u011fa ba\u015fqa yer yox idi. Ki\u015finin d\u0259mir kimi barmaqlar\u0131 qollar\u0131m\u0131 \u0259zirdi. N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r \u00e7al\u0131\u015fsam da ona g\u00fcc\u00fcm \u00e7atmad\u0131….<\/p>\n

Sevinci dinl\u0259dikc\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rimd\u0259m ya\u015f ax\u0131rd\u0131. M\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, getm\u0259s\u0259ydim, onu t\u0259k qoymasayd\u0131m b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar olmazd\u0131. \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc g\u00fcnahkar say\u0131rd\u0131m.<\/p>\n

– Birazdan ki\u015fi d\u0259li kimi aya\u011fa durdu. Xalama s\u00f6y\u00fc\u015fl\u0259r ya\u011fd\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131 ki, fahi\u015f\u0259ni m\u0259n\u0259 q\u0131z ad\u0131yla s\u0131r\u0131y\u0131b, n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r pulumu al\u0131b. V\u0259 xalam\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na oyun a\u00e7aca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 deyirdi. S\u0259n dem\u0259 a\u00e7ar\u0131 xalam aparmay\u0131bm\u0131\u015f. Ki\u015fi a\u00e7ar\u0131 cibind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131. Qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131 v\u0259 evd\u0259n ged\u0259nd\u0259n sonra m\u0259n d\u0259 y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fd\u0131r\u0131l\u0131b ordan qa\u00e7d\u0131m. Xalamla bir d\u0259 \u00fcz-\u00fcz\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259dim.<\/p>\n

– B\u0259s hara getdin ay Sevinc. Neyn\u0259din? \u2013 dey\u0259 soru\u015fdum. H\u0259r yer\u0259… kim hara des\u0259 ora… Ax\u0131rda da bir ev tapd\u0131m, indi pulunnan orda qal\u0131ram.<\/p>\n

– Can, Ay Sevinc,\u00a0 – dedim v\u0259 onu qucaqlay\u0131b sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131\u011fallad\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Sevinc g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcnd\u00fc:<\/p>\n

– Bax, t\u0259rp\u0259nir.<\/p>\n

\u018fll\u0259rimi qorxa-qorxa, h\u0259y\u0259canla onun qarn\u0131na qoydum. \u018flimin alt\u0131nda canl\u0131 hiss etdikc\u0259, sanki d\u00fcnyan\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259 verirdil\u0259r. Balaca, \u015f\u0131ltaq u\u015faq kimi sevinirdim:<\/p>\n

– Ay Sevinc, h\u0259\u0259, bir bax, Ay Allah, t\u0259rp\u0259nir. T\u0259pikl\u0259yir dey\u0259s\u0259n. Amaan, aaz, yoxsa bu o\u011fland\u0131. Futbol\u00e7u olacaq. Yoox, q\u0131zd\u0131, m\u0259n q\u0131z is\u0259yir\u0259m q\u0131\u0131\u0131z…<\/p>\n

Sevinc d\u0259 g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131 i\u00e7\u0259risind\u0259 sevinirdi. Onun \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259ki nur \u00e7oxalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131 sanki. M\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi Sevincin \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 qonan m\u0259l\u0259k m\u0259n\u0259 yuxudak\u0131 kimi q\u0131naqla yox, indi m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259tl\u0259 bax\u0131r. Tez aya\u011fa durdum.<\/p>\n

– Sevinc, dur, dur h\u0259kim\u0259 ged\u0259k, g\u00f6r\u0259k n\u0259 deyir. G\u00f6r\u0259k n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r qal\u0131b balaca m\u0259l\u0259yimizi quca\u011f\u0131m\u0131za alma\u011fa.<\/p>\n

X\u0259st\u0259xanada tan\u0131\u015f h\u0259kiml\u0259 rastla\u015fd\u0131m. O, Sevinci m\u00fcayin\u0259 etdikd\u0259n sonra do\u011fu\u015fa c\u0259mi iki h\u0259ft\u0259 qald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yl\u0259di. Lakin, Sevincin \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 probleml\u0259r oldu\u011funu, vaxt\u0131nda h\u0259kim\u0259 m\u00fcraci\u0259t etm\u0259diyinin bu sorumu daha da art\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bildirdi. Sevins\u0259m d\u0259, fikir m\u0259ni g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc: \u201cSevincin \u00fcr\u0259yi x\u0259st\u0259dir\u201d.<\/p>\n

Sevinci \u00f6z evim\u0259 g\u0259tirib ona h\u0259r c\u00fcr qay\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259rib, b\u00fct\u00fcn dava-d\u0259rmanlar\u0131n\u0131 vaxtl\u0131-vaxt\u0131nda el\u0259tdirs\u0259m d\u0259, \u00fcr\u0259yim s\u0259ks\u0259k\u0259d\u0259n ayr\u0131lm\u0131rd\u0131. \u201cSevincin \u00fcr\u0259yi x\u0259st\u0259dir\u201d\u00a0 s\u0259h\u0259r yuxudan duranda da,\u00a0 gec\u0259 yatanda da kims\u0259 durmadan bu s\u00f6zl\u0259ri m\u0259n\u0259 p\u0131\u00e7\u0131lday\u0131rd\u0131. Rahatl\u0131\u011f\u0131m itmi\u015fdi. Bir vaxtlar g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcm yuxunu daha tez-tez g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcm. Sevinc ayaqlar\u0131 qan i\u00e7ind\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ha m\u00fcalic\u0259 olunurdusa ayaqlar\u0131n\u0131n \u015fi\u015fi azalm\u0131r, getdikc\u0259 daha da art\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259kimi bunun \u00fcr\u0259yi il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yl\u0259yirdi. H\u0259tta, do\u011fu\u015f zaman\u0131 onun yax\u0131nlar\u0131n\u0131n dilind\u0259n yaz\u0131l\u0131 \u0259riz\u0259 laz\u0131m oldu\u011funu da deyirdil\u0259r. \u00c7\u00fcnki, Sevincin do\u011fu\u015fu birba\u015fa \u00f6l\u00fcml\u0259 m\u00fcbariz\u0259 dem\u0259k idi. B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131 Sevincd\u0259n gizl\u0259ts\u0259m d\u0259, xalas\u0131na x\u0259b\u0259r verm\u0259yi, dilind\u0259n ka\u011f\u0131z alma\u011f\u0131 q\u0259rarla\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131m. Xalas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259k ist\u0259m\u0259s\u0259m d\u0259, h\u0259kimin ota\u011f\u0131nda m\u0259cbur\u0259n rastla\u015fmal\u0131 olduq. K\u00f6kl\u00fckd\u0259n n\u0259f\u0259si k\u0259sil\u0259n t\u0259xmin\u0259n 50 ya\u015flar\u0131nda bu qad\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259n ifrit\u0259lik ya\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259tta, Sevincin x\u0259st\u0259liyi bar\u0259d\u0259 ona dey\u0259nd\u0259 bel\u0259, sif\u0259tind\u0259 he\u00e7 bir t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf ifad\u0259 olunmad\u0131. \u00dcst\u0259lik ona nec\u0259 qay\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259rdiyini, do\u011fma ana oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yl\u0259m\u0259kd\u0259n \u00e7\u0259kinmir, Sevincin q\u0259dirbilm\u0259zliyini d\u00f6n\u0259-d\u00f6n\u0259 vur\u011fulay\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259qiq\u0259ti bils\u0259m d\u0259 susurdum. Fikrim yaln\u0131z v\u0259 yaln\u0131z x\u0259st\u0259nin dardan qurtulub sa\u011falmas\u0131nda dola\u015f\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Sevinci x\u0259st\u0259xanaya yerl\u0259\u015fdirmi\u015fdim. Do\u011fu\u015fa bir ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcn qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Ona he\u00e7 n\u0259 dem\u0259s\u0259m d\u0259 \u00e7ox qorxurdum. Ona \u00fcr\u0259k-dir\u0259k verir, do\u011fu\u015f bar\u0259d\u0259 m\u00fcxt\u0259lif yalanlar uydurur, l\u0259tif\u0259l\u0259r s\u00f6yl\u0259yirdim. Amma m\u0259nim he\u00e7 bir s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 \u0259h\u0259miyy\u0259t vermir, \u201cdo\u011fa bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m\u201d – deyir, k\u0259d\u0259rli \u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc yana \u00e7evirirdi.<\/p>\n

Sevincin \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259ki m\u0259l\u0259k h\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 boylananda vicdan \u0259zabi, \u00e7\u0259kir, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc g\u00fcnahkar say\u0131rd\u0131m.<\/p>\n

\u2026H\u0259kiml\u0259r \u0259l-aya\u011fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Birazdan Sevinc\u0259 narkos vurulacaqd\u0131. Sanc\u0131dan qovrulduqca \u0259ll\u0259rimd\u0259n b\u0259rk-b\u0259rk yap\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. \u201cM\u0259ni t\u0259k qoyma, bac\u0131, noolar qoyma\u201d- dey\u0259, yalvar\u0131rd\u0131. \u0130\u00e7imd\u0259 yansam da \u00fcz\u0259 vurmama\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r, \u201cAy Sevinc, di ha, s\u0259nin yerin\u0259 m\u0259nmi do\u011fum\u201d \u2013 dey\u0259 zarafat etm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdim. Niy\u0259s\u0259 anas\u0131 yad\u0131na d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Sanc\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7\u0259risind\u0259 tez-tez anas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. Anas\u0131n\u0131n do\u011fu\u015f zaman\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc is\u0259 ilk d\u0259f\u0259 idi ki, m\u0259n\u0259 deyirdi. Xalas\u0131na l\u0259n\u0259t oxuyurdu. \u201cAy Sevinc, qurban olum sakitl\u0259\u015f\u201d, dey\u0259 yalvarsam da m\u0259n\u0259 \u0259h\u0259miyy\u0259t vermirdi. H\u0259tta m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, birc\u0259 kec\u0259nin i\u00e7ind\u0259 Sevincin sa\u00e7\u0131na d\u0259n d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. O on yeddi ya\u015fl\u0131 q\u0131zc\u0131\u011faz\u0131n, on yeddi ya\u015fl\u0131 m\u0259l\u0259yin sa\u00e7lar\u0131 a\u011farm\u0131\u015fd\u0131…<\/p>\n

– S\u0259n bilirs\u0259n d\u0259\u0259\u0259, bilirs\u0259n ki be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131mnan, atam \u00f6l\u0259nd\u0259n z\u00fcl\u00fcm \u00e7\u0259kmi\u015f\u0259m. Utana-utana dil\u0259n\u00e7ilik etmi\u015f\u0259m. \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc el\u0259 apar\u0131rd\u0131m ki, guya kobudam, t\u0259rbiy\u0259siz\u0259m, q\u0259sd\u0259n siqaret \u00e7\u0259kirdim ki, ham\u0131n\u0131n m\u0259nn\u0259n z\u0259hl\u0259si getsin. Pis s\u00f6zl\u0259r dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. \u0130st\u0259mirdim utand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 kims\u0259 g\u00f6rs\u00fcn. Adamlar m\u0259n\u0259 pulu yaz\u0131qlar\u0131 g\u0259ldiyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn vermirdil\u0259r. Onlar m\u0259nn\u0259n iyr\u0259nirdil\u0259r, z\u0259hl\u0259l\u0259ri gedirdi. Ki\u015fil\u0259rd\u0259n d\u0259 m\u0259n iyr\u0259nirdim. Amma m\u0259cbur idim onlar\u0131n dediyini el\u0259m\u0259y\u0259. Ev kiray\u0259si verm\u0259li idim. Yem\u0259k yem\u0259li idim. Bilmirdim hamil\u0259 oldu\u011fumu. \u00dcr\u0259yim bulananda, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc piss hiss ed\u0259nd\u0259 d\u0259 bilmirdim. Sonra ilk d\u0259f\u0259 bir ki\u015fi, \u201cR\u0259dd ol – qarn\u0131nda u\u015faq ola-ola n\u0259 g\u0259zirs\u0259n burda\u201d \u2013 dey\u0259 m\u0259ni k\u0259nara it\u0259l\u0259di. Onda bildim h\u0259kim\u0259 getm\u0259k laz\u0131md\u0131r. Lakin ged\u0259mm\u0259dim, qorxdum. Sonra camaat bildikc\u0259 onlardan qa\u00e7ma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. \u2013 \u018fll\u0259rimi g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb \u00f6pm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131 \u2013 S\u0259nn\u0259n d\u0259 utan\u0131rd\u0131m dey\u0259 qa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131m.<\/p>\n

\u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc saxlaya bilmirdim. H\u00f6nk\u00fcr\u00fcb a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131m. \u2013 Ay Sevinc, qadan al\u0131m, bel\u0259 el\u0259m\u0259, des\u0259m d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 g\u00fcc\u00fcm \u00e7atm\u0131rd\u0131. \u2013 Bax g\u00f6r n\u0259 q\u0259\u015f\u0259ng b\u0259b\u0259miz olacaq. \u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259 o\u011fland\u0131. O qoymayacaq s\u0259n ac\u0131 \u00e7\u0259k\u0259s\u0259n, \u2013 des\u0259m d\u0259 Sevinc m\u0259nim s\u00f6zl\u0259rim\u0259 \u0259h\u0259miyy\u0259t vermirdi.<\/p>\n

Tibb bac\u0131s\u0131 narkos vurmaq \u00fc\u015f\u00fcn ota\u011fa girdi. \u0130\u015far\u0259 il\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 \u201c\u00e7\u0131x\u201d des\u0259 d\u0259, Sevinc \u0259ll\u0259rimd\u0259n yap\u0131\u015f\u0131b, – Getm\u0259 – dey\u0259 yalvar\u0131rd\u0131. Tibb bac\u0131s\u0131 \u00e7\u0259tinlikl\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259di v\u0259:<\/p>\n

– Yax\u015f\u0131, getmir, s\u0259n do\u011fanda da burda duracaq, – dedi.<\/p>\n

Sevincin damar\u0131na narkos yeridikc\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259ri yumulurdu. Onun \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259ki m\u0259l\u0259k m\u0259n\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcn\u0259-g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcn\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131. O t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm\u00fcn s\u0259b\u0259bini anlamasam da i\u00e7imd\u0259 o m\u0259l\u0259y\u0259 yalvar\u0131rd\u0131m, \u201cSevinc\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259k ol\u201d – dey\u0259 yalvar\u0131rd\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Onun \u0259ll\u0259ri tam bo\u015fald\u0131. H\u0259kim i\u00e7\u0259ri gir\u0259nd\u0259 tibb bac\u0131s\u0131 x\u0259st\u0259nin \u0259m\u0259liyyata haz\u0131r oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yl\u0259di.<\/p>\n

D\u0259hlizd\u0259 adamlar \u00e7ox idi. Kimi h\u0259y\u0259canla\u00a0 do\u011fu\u015fdan cavab g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi, kimi yeni d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259l\u0259n \u0259zizinin sevincini ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131, kimi yava\u015f-yava\u015f sanc\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kir, do\u011fu\u015fa n\u00f6vb\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi.<\/p>\n

M\u0259n d\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdim. H\u0259y\u0259canla g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdim. M\u0259l\u0259yin m\u0259l\u0259yimi qoruyaca\u011f\u0131na \u00fcmid ed\u0259r\u0259k g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdim…\u00a0 R\u0259ngi saralm\u0131\u015f h\u0259kimi, tir-tir \u0259s\u0259n tibb bac\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131, ayaqlar\u0131m\u0131 b\u00fck\u0259c\u0259k, m\u0259ni el\u0259 x\u0259st\u0259xana d\u0259hlizind\u0259c\u0259 yer\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6kd\u00fcr\u0259c\u0259k x\u0259b\u0259ri\u00a0 g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdim…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

G\u0259nc\u0259-2010<\/p>\n

Yaz\u0131ya 1496 d\u0259f\u0259 bax\u0131l\u0131b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(hekay\u0259) On-on iki ya\u015fl\u0131 bir u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n siqaret \u00e7\u0259km\u0259si \u0259slind\u0259 ikrah hissi do\u011fururdu. Amma q\u0259rib\u0259 idi ki, ham\u0131n\u0131n nifr\u0259tl\u0259 baxd\u0131\u011f\u0131, iyr\u0259ndiyi bu pinti, yalan\u00e7\u0131, a\u011f\u0131ls\u0131z, \u00e7irkin, kobud, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc apara bilm\u0259y\u0259n, h\u0259m d\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u00fc-ki\u00e7ikli ham\u0131ya \u0259l a\u00e7an, dil\u0259n\u0259n bu \u201co\u011flan\u201d u\u015fa\u011f\u0131ndan m\u0259nim z\u0259hl\u0259m getmirdi. Onu dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131rmaqdan, n\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc, nec\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, n\u0259l\u0259r etdiyini bilm\u0259kd\u0259n \u00e7ox z\u00f6vq al\u0131rd\u0131m. O, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5808,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9696"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9696"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9696\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9697,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9696\/revisions\/9697"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5808"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9696"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9696"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kultur.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9696"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}